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Posts by irhame
Name: irham amir
Joined: Apr 7, 2015
Last Post: Jun 15, 2016
Threads: 52
Posts: 50  
Likes: 25
From: Indonesia
School: unand

Displayed posts: 102 / page 2 of 3
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irhame   
Oct 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: how access to information via the internet influences life [6]

In summary, I believe that easy access to information provided by the internet influences our live in a positive way. It helps people to educate themselves and encourages them to think critically. (i suggest you adding some sentences, like where possible...(your expectation))
irhame   
Oct 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates the manufacturing processes for producing good black tea [2]

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing processes for producing good black tea. Overall, there are five steps for creating black tea. In any case, even though there are two different ways -traditional and modern methods, they have similar steps in initial and eventual process.

First of all, when collecting tea, the tea farmer picks only bud and 2 top leaves for resulting good quality of tea. Then, the tea continues to withering where leaves are spread out on the rack and air is passed through whole those leaves which can remove about 60% moisture. Following this, the leaves are ready for rolling and cutting, factories use traditional method by rolling flat and broken them which release a wide range of enzymes from leaves, and modern way by cutting leaves, tearing and curling them which created granular pieces. The next step is oxidation, where enzymes are mixed by water can change leave's colour to cooper. Finally, these leaves are fried or dried in hot air dryers where release nice smell, and the leaves only consist of 3% moisture.




irhame   
Oct 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / The mass media affected people's society bigger than another - even more than politicians [5]

The recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a grater influence over people's lives than politicians.
Which do you consider to be the greater influence?


In this day and age, the observation reveals that mass media such as TV and the Internet play a big role for almost all people's way to live than politicians. I totally believe that media affected people's society bigger than another.

There are some reasons why people's lives have been extremely influenced by public media. Initially, they usually used to watch and read media just to entertain themselves. This purpose is available for all positions in a wide range of status. Furthermore, electrical news resources has a lot of up-to-date knowledge. As such, it persuade every person access the Internet and TV. Eventually, teenagers tend to imitate what they look on TV or the Internet. If they duplicate some negative attitudes from these media, it will disturb themselves and their environment.

On the other hand, many politicians are only interested by particular information such politic topics, which provide more beneficial for them. For example, the research of Oxford University in 2000 witnesses that 85% politicians in America more likely consume economic and politic issues from electronic news and television programmes. As a result, the information included in media increases their insights and skills in career. Therefore, mass media has a significant impact for politician improvements.

To sum up, it is evident that even though public information sources, representing TV and the internet, can influence politicians only in some aspects, I deeply agree that people in the different age of groups have big effect that they receive as long as using public media.
irhame   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / The rain water is sending for purification to a treatment plant, then goes to houses for drinking [3]

the diagram below shows how rainwater is reused

Answer:

The diagram illustrates the ways rain water is recycled. Overall, it can be seen that the greatest proportion of rainwater is used for several times as a result of water recycling. In any case, while water is collected in dam and tank, all water flow through river to mountain at the end of this process.

Initially, the amount of rain water stored in dam is sent to water treatment plant for purification. Then, it is brought to house for drinking. At the same time, the water which fall down from cloud to proof automatically flow to rainwater's tank, and it is used for other purposes such as washing plates and pouring water to plants. Following this, the wastewater is recycled again in wastewater treatment plant for resulting clear water which is reused for house's consumption. Eventually, puddle's water on the yard and dirty water drain to mountain through river.




irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / The growth of air transportation brings some positive aspects as well as the demerits of this trend [2]

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?


Answer:

In this day and age, air transportation is increase dramatically. As such, most people tend to use public flights for travelling abroad for a wide range of purposes, such as holiday, business and trade. In my opinion, the flight companies should be imposed more tax in order to prevent air accident.

There are some positive aspects the number of flight's journey rose sharply. Initially, tourists can discover various cultures and mouth-watering local cuisines abroad. Every country has own foods with special ingredients which cannot be found in other states. Furthermore, mass aircraft offers businessmen more opportunities to take a rule in global business without wasting much time. The time, nowadays, is not a hindrance anymore for international companies developing their quality and quantity. Eventually, entrepreneurs are persuaded to join in commercial transactions in worldwide. International flight is a big aid for them to acquire a chance for increasing commercial levels in vast distances.

Apart from this, the growth of air transportation caused global warming as gas emission which spread out by planes damaged ozone layers. For example, a New York Times in 2012 reveals that every gas from planes disturbed 0.01% ozone layers. As a result, many skin's diseases appeared in this era. Therefore, the flights play a significant rule for human health.

To sum up, a huge growth in air transportation can be beneficial for getting more experience, improving business's scope and boosting intercontinental trade. However, this trend also affects some illness for human's life. In my opinion, it is extremely recommended for government to make an intervention in tax policies, government has to increase tax's flight for ensuring passenger's safety.
irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / Can terrorism be Justified? [3]

As millions tuned in toon the TV to watch the 2008 Mumbai attacks, they had one question in their mind; why? In the name of god, slaughter and violence isare commenced. When the death tolls inside the Taj Hotel, it continued to riserising , it cannot be safe to assume it as being justifiable. Extremely radical ideology guided the terrorists to continue with their ploy, causing unnecessary pain and suffering to the people affectedbodies . As human beings, we all are guaranteed the Right to Live with Dignity. When pain is inflicted upon a human being, can it be justifiable to say that they deserved the pain, even if they have done nothing incorrect to provoke it? (you have problems with way to arrange sentences)
irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / The satisfactionlevel of costumers according to a new shopping complex in the capital of New Zealand [2]

The two tables, for shops and restaurants, and pie chart illustrate the level of satisfaction of costumers according to a new shopping complex in the capital of New Zealand. Overall, it can be seen that the views of visitors are positive about that complex. In any case, while satisfaction of people dominates in these frames, they prefer restaurants than others.

17% men are very enjoying buying daily basis in shops, and almost a half of them like spending money over there, then 20% and 18% those visitors do not like the facilities and reluctant to give comment. In contrast, over a third females proud of this new shops compared to under a third of them appear dissatisfied and keep silent.

In restaurant, there is a quarter fatherhood that they are really keen on eating in particular restaurants, and 55%, representing the highest proportion, are considerable happy being consumers, than with a gap of about a ten, between 5% and 15%, give negative responses. However, females are higher in all category except satisfied at 32%.

Last chart, while 62% of visitors like the design of recent shopping complex, under a fifth of them love it, and 11 of clients are not satisfied with it, then decrease 1% is the percentage of people who refuse to give feedback.




irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS - Level of satisfying in the shops and restaurants [2]

Furthermore, in the restaurants, the great deal of shoppers is satisfied. This is proved with the rate of male at 55% and female in 32% . This is evidence that has a similar pattern between shops and restaurants. Whereas, the proportion of shoppers who are very satisfied almost same approximately in 25 peoplepercent .
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Printed media will never disappear; some factors why people fear about existence of written papers [3]

With recent developments in technology like e-books, some people feel that printed media like books, newspapers, and magazines will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that these forms of media will never disappear.

what is your opinion?


Answer:

In 21st Century, huge companies compete each other producing sophisticated electronic books. As such, many believe that printed media such as books, newspaper, and magazines will extinct. In contrast, others argue that these news resources still exist forever. In my personal opinion, human beings still use printed books for their future.

There are some factors why people fear about existence of written papers. Initially, they need more places. More books we buy, more places we use. Furthermore, cumulative books will be a problem for readers when they want to bring them, because human just has limited power for carrying them. Eventually, it can be seen that newspaper, books, and magazines are so pricey. Not all people have ability to buy all books which they need due to money.

However, the existence of printed books cannot be forgotten as nature provides a lot of raw materials of papers for hundreds years later. The research of Ohio University in 2003, for example, reveals that our forests save paper's materials until the next 20 generations. As a result, the supply of papers is still stable although people use it every day. Therefore, paper's materials guarantee the human using of printed media.

To conclude, even though the number of e-book tools rise sharply, readers are still offered by paper's media. i totally believe that mass-printed media is still being the main consumption for decades later.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / The common access to the new technology may favour the young people and give them more opportunities [4]

In addition, the country are paying more attention to the old people than any timesothers . Increasingly Well- equipped nursing houses built to meetmet the old specific needs. There may have a laundry, kitchen and bathroom on every floor. A well-arranged schedule is also welcomed among the oldelderly people for the staff preparing various activities like watching a movie or morning exercise. The old ones who used to live alone can easily makedevelop a relationshipfriends . They also have a social profit such as discounts on public transportation.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should we foster the sense of sacrifice to younger generation as a portion of people have suggested? [5]

It is an unstoppable trend that people are more enjoyable doing non-benefit community services . There are many celebrities you can think of, Bill Gates(is he celebrity?) , Lebron James, Jackie Chan and so on. Not only will they donate money, but also take part in many helping others activities. I believed that some of them are the hero of high school students. At this age, they are likely to learn from their model. In my opinion, I am greatly convinced that non-benefit service must be added as one of their programmes.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / About photo booths: they allow to produce two kinds of picture, large format image and passport size [3]

The diagram illustrates the process of using modern photo box. Overall, this machine allows costumer to produce two kinds of picture, large format image and passport-sized image. In any case, there are 8 main features that consisted of this photo booth.

Initially, costumers go into the photo booth with opening the curtain and closing it when he/she was inside the room. Before have a seat on controlled stool, he can use a mirror located above eye level for ensuring his appearance. After that, while he sits on that chair, adjustable stool and eye level should be settled to the right position. Then, wait for 3 seconds the light as a single flash will appear automatically. This mechanical photo box provides two buttons on the outside of the booth allowing user to select the photo's size, one large format and 4 photos sized passport with full colours. Eventually, the photos will be loaded for 1 minute before they are delivered outside.
irhame   
Oct 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / "Culture an Inescapable Thing" - synthesis essay [2]

One way or other culturalcultures will somehow influence a( a what?) , throughout their life, it might cloud their judgment.

A person stayssay true to the ideas and values that isare their culture as with Maggie, who unlike Dee didn't try to create a false heritage.
irhame   
Oct 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Dissimilarity between developed and less developed countries [2]

the inequality between rich and poor nations is wider than it has been before.
what do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

answer:

In this day and age, the developed countries are experiencing the greater development than less developed countries. As such, the significant difference is inevitable between them and it will lead to be a threat for global community. This essay will discuss that politic monopoly is the key reason why this worrying trend happened, and autonomy and multilateral cooperation are the solutions for decreasing the impacts of this problem.

The predominant factor why inequality is occurred among countries nowadays is monopoly tactic from welfare states. They intervene government's policies of conflict nations when they need some helps for stabilizing region. For instance, a September 2015 BBC News reveals that 70% super power nations always intervene some rules of unstable states aimed grasping their raw material resources. As a result, poor country was loosed their wealth. Not only thanks to intervention, but also vote right. Even though most of United Nations members agreed about particular decisions, that result will be canceled by using veto right. Therefore, the wealth nations can improve their wealthy from poor nations.

Apart from this, there are some ways to tackle this worrying condition or at least reduce the effects. Initially, poor states need a independence from the intervention of other nations. They can organize their folks and original material resources independently. Eventually, modern countries should help the traditional nations in many aspects such as finance, educations and health because limited technology, information and medicine are the factor of poverty which impede country's development.

To conclude, politic monopoly from strong country affected the dissimilarity level to weak states. Go hand in hand between both nations levels and right of independent government systems are the solution for reducing this gap from deteriorating further.
irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Undergraduate / When we die... - NYU Tisch Supplemental Essay [2]

Life is peculiar. As such, we makecreatesome disasters but it gain blessings from them. For once in my life, I am certain I made the right decision. I see Dylan now, he is happy... lively. He has a girlfriend, and from what I see they are inseparable from each other. I really have toshould thank to him, after all the struggle I put him through. I wouldn't havemeet the love of my life without his help. I have discovered who I am and what my purpose is in this world.
irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / People today are more likely to be selfish - their wish is just to fulfill their daily needs [NEW]

People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays they lead a more dependent life. Do you agree or disagree?

People are more likely to fulfill their daily needs. As such, while some believe that they were more dependent to others in bygone era due to limited facilities, I would argue that humans today witness a selfish lifestyle thanks to completed infrastructures and advanced technologies.

The countable equipments force people to look for others helps. This is because, if having not assistances from their friends, they do not have enough power for reaching their planned goals. For instance, A 2013 recent New York Times reveals that 80% inhabitants in United State argue that they cannot life without others contributions owing to limited capability. As a result, people's life extremely depends on one another. Therefore, few tools take a huge responsibility of a dependent life.

Apart from this, there are some reasons why people are being more selfish today. Firstly, there are a wide range of facilities yet. While human is provided by a lot of good infrastructures, they can fulfill their needs by themselves. Secondly, the sophisticated devices have created the better life's productivity. If such devices have caused people's life being more productive, inevitably people tend to use it rather than asking people's helps.

To conclude, even though mankind is prefer to ask others' assessments for survival in the preceding years due to limited tools, I totally believe that completed facilities and highly sophisticated technologies are the main factors why people are more likely to be selfish. Where possible, human should balance their dependent life between using facilities and asking other people's helps.
irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / The number both sexes joining the evening courses and the proportion of ages following these courses [NEW]

A breakdown of the number of both sexes attending several evening courses in adult education center in 2009 and the proportion of participants' ages in these courses, these are illustrated in the bar and line chart. Overall, while women's figure for the language course witnessed the highest number of others courses, the participants aged 50 and above dominated in this chart.

To begin, although the number of men in Sculpture course was 10 people, the language course experienced the twofold number for men. However, while the women in the Sculpture course revealed the lowest number of participants at about 5 females, they were the highest number in the Language course at 40 participants. Furthermore, while men's number in Drama course has the same figure as the Sculpture course, the women of this course have shown a double portion of men's number. Then, with gap 5 people, the number of males was lower than women at 25 and 30 people repetitively.

On the other hand, while people aged 50 or over tended to take the courses, the participants aged under 20 were more less likely to contribute in this courses. The following this, at 26%, the 40-49 age group was the second highest figure for courses' members. Then, people aged 20-29 and 30-39 witnessed a slight gap only 5 percent at 11% and 16% repetitively.




irhame   
Nov 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / The automobile improvement causes some serious problems [2]

Question: Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems. What is your opinion? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer.

Modern technology has influenced people's preference. As such, while some believe that the automobile witnesses a dramatic improvement today due to effectiveness and long-distance travel, I would argue that such issue will bring some crucial problems such as bottleneck traffic and air pollution.

People are more likely to use car for travelling. This is because the private cars have enough power to help them making a long journey. For example, A 2013 recent New York Times revealed that 80% inhabitants in America use their private cars to travel to some resorts thanks to good engine power. As a result, the car was being a favorite vehicle for moving to particular places. Therefore, the sophisticated car takes the responsibility of traveling. Not only this, such vehicle also gives more effective time as people should not waste more much time to move anywhere.

Apart from this, there are some huge problems occurring owing to the improvement of automobiles. Firstly, it causes extremely traffic congestion. If people prefer using the modern cars, they will drive these private cars on the streets which affect the long traffic congestion. Secondly, such automobiles produce gas emission. These emissions will reduce the fresh air in our environment, then inevitably a hard disease like ISPA threats human habitats.

To conclude, even though the car experienced an extreme improvement today due to long journey and productive time, I totally believe that this improvement causes some dire effects such as long traffic congestion and minimum fresh air. Where possible, the automobiles factories should produce cars which have little toxin.
irhame   
Nov 11, 2015
Writing Feedback / A comparison of the proportion change in the overseas students' number in 8 Canadian provinces [2]

A comparison of the proportion change in the overseas students' number graduating from many third-level educations in 8 Canadian provinces from 2001 to 2006, a 5-year period is experienced in the bar chart. Overall, while 2006's figure for foreign students dominated in this question period, New Brunswick witnessed a higher percentage rather than other provinces.

Some provinces saw a significant change for international students. British Columbia witnessed the greatest change of foreign pupils from 4.5% in 2001 up to 10.5% in 2006. However, the lowest alteration was shown by Alberta with the gap one percent. Furthermore, while both figures in New Brunswick surpassed from all categories, which were the highest proportion, the lowest percentage in 2001 and 2006 was in Alberta and Ontario repetitively.

A more detailed look at the chart reveals that a slight decrease's figure and almost unchanged proportion revealed in many provinces. 6.5 percent to 10.5 percent was a dramatic increase for the percentage of international graduated pupils, whilst Quebec's figure was much lower than Nova Scotia from 5.2% to 8.5% between 2001 and 2006. In contrast, the student's figure for Manitoba and Newfoundland & Labrador flattened out at 3.5 percent in 2001 and 7 percent in 2006 for overseas students graduating from some universities.




irhame   
Nov 21, 2015
Undergraduate / Interests led me into Biomechanical Engineering - Common App Essay [7]

Tears trickled down my face as I watched ...

Unpredictably, my face was trickled down by my own tears since i watched my favorite Doctor said "goodbye" to his friends a couple months ago. he was leaving, regenerating and never returning forever. What is more, I looked up from the screen just for seeing my sister rolls her beautiful eyes beside me even though i did not care. the episode was so sad. as time passes, it was 4.08 am on a thundering Saturday and i was stuck inside, but i did not mind as i entertained by my beloved science fiction show, Doctor Who.

I found myself truly enjoying them asbecause I already loved solving tackling problems and learning how things well- behaved.

... it suddenly hits me. That, thus, is what I want I wanted to do, making object and focusing my life on ...

... new limbs to make usinguse it to be more comfortable and easier.
irhame   
Nov 21, 2015
Undergraduate / 'From coding programs in BASIC to playing football': persistence and hard work is the key to success [4]

Bloomed rose reflecting the high contrast of the flawless colors can certainly ...

bloomed rose can certainly entice eyes of a man strolling pas an oasis. screening such beauty discloses back stage to withstand by sharp thorns. every natural product should force for its existence. what is more, the most developed creatures have to struggle even harder to get a life.

... I realized that persistence and hard work with a bit of imagination isare the key of success.

I totally believe after I face ...
irhame   
Nov 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Maintaining old buildings is a very important thing to preserve one of country's heritages [2]

Question:
Many old buildings protected by law are part of a Nation's history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

Answer:
Historic buildings today are a part of country's inheritance. As such, while the general view has been that such buildings have to be replaced by new constructions, I believe that maintaining ancient buildings is very important as they are symbol of places and can attract tourists. Then, standing history in buildings is a compulsory, since it will keep the existence of that ones and is a pride of society.

Old buildings are often considered o be arts in many areas. By doing so, people can easily identify countries by architectural constructions. For example, A 2013 New York Times recently reveals that 80% American tourists who travel abroad said that recognizing historic building is the easiest way to distinguish their countries' destinations. As a consequence, ancient constructions represent the character of particular society. Therefore, they should be protected forever. Not only this, prevent the buildings also can encourage international and domestic visitors. This is because these buildings show how people lived in the past.

Apart from this, maintaining the history for modern buildings is an obligation for every person in many concrete-arguments. Initially, the value of historic buildings will exist for the following decades. If people do not combine historic methods with modern buildings in this present day, it is inevitable that the next generations will lose their identities such as special designed buildings. What is more, people are being pride of their ancestor's art. This is because the historic-building art is a symbol of achievement which has been done by the ancestors of society.

To conclude, one of country's heritages is spectacular old buildings. Although some argue that these buildings should be replaced by new ones. I totally believe that tourists' attraction and places' character are the main reasons why preventing such buildings are predominant. Afterwards, changing new buildings is essential due to the existence and pride. Where possible, the government and inhabitants should go hand in hand to look after the amazing historic buildings.
irhame   
Nov 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / The picture of Fairmont Island in the eyes of regular visitors. [2]

The two of pie chart depict the survey of ...

A comparison of percentage of the most common benefits and breakdowns of Fairmont Island as per to as survey of visitors, this information is illustrated in two pie charts. Overall, while the island has worse food quality, such island receives more advantages from culture.

There are four categories which are being the most general disadvantages. they aresuch as a weather, an expensive expense for a living,and an entertainment and a food quality.

HoweverIn contrast , athe food quality became the lowest choice at only 5 percent.
irhame   
Nov 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Headland erosion. The diagram shows the damage that took place. [3]

The diagram experiences the charges that took place in a headland face due to coastal erosion. Overall, while the erosion reveals a significant impact on the headland, the coastline remains unchanged.

At one time, a small hollow in weak areas is constructed by the sea water which hit the wall. After long process, the hole is being bigger than before creating cave's arch. This is because the waves touch the wall's cliff. What is more, even though such waves always beat the cliff, it develops a new big cave and separated stuck as a result of hitting against roof. This means that stones and boulders fell into the sea and side of separated headland.

Eventually, this natural process creates a new cave and huge stack, whilst the headland becomes more retreated and dangerous. Meanwhile, another stack is made by such waves' hitting and its stumps fell down to coastline. In fact, this worrying condition happened in Durdle Door, Dorset. Obviously, had the cliff not been beat by the waves, the headland's existence would not have been threatened.




irhame   
Nov 22, 2015
Writing Feedback / 'Running Dream' book - setting description [3]

BeginningTo begin of the book, Running Dream, it tookhave taken place in a hospital room. Then, it mostly took place ...

While, sherlock lets out a happy bark, and Jessica isfeels happy to be home. Her room was used to be in last room ...

If the story didn't tooktake place in at her home, it wouldn't show how much ...

AlsoWhat is more, it wouldn't show that ...

She isfeels happy to see that she was missed by her friends and teachers . If Jessica didn't go to school, she wouldn't meet Rosa.S he wouldn't get her running leg without her track- team friends, and she wouldn't off start off running again.
irhame   
Nov 22, 2015
Writing Feedback / Information technology overhauled people's life - wasting time and damaging people's health [3]

Question:

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities.

To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?


Answer:

Information technology plays an equally important role for well-being. As such, it has overhauled our way of life in home, free and job activities' concept. While some believe that it brings some benefits such as instant access and enhancing work productivity, I argue that this causes more drawbacks like time-consuming and unhealthy lifestyle.

As a matter of fact, the advanced technology has boosted speed of the internet access. Today, the majority of people have so quick access to social and entertainment connections especially in networking site. A 2013 Tokyo University research recently reveals that Japan's speed in the internet's browsing at 16.34 Mb/s which is the second fastest access of the internet. As a consequence, people are more likely to use this internet for achieve some information easily. Therefore, the number of users will increased whilst the information technology advances day after day. Not only this, sophisticated devices of the technology have moved forward the quality of work thanks to a wide range of data which is saved in computer.

Despite these advantages, there are more counter-arguments for drawbacks for modern information technologies. Initially, the information technology has wasted users' time. While worker should read a lot of emails in their mailbox, children are liable to chat with their beloved friends for hours by using dialog online. What is more, unhealthy lifestyle cannot be avoided. The modern technology forced people to make sedentary activities. Clearly, even though every person works on screen, they will sit on the chair for long term which affect to their back healthy.

To conclude, the technology of information today is extremely essential for human being. On account of this, the human life has changed duo to advanced technology. Although many argue that it will increase the internet access and work capability, I totally believe that this is only wasting time and damaging people's health.
irhame   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / Technology's development makes people today more likely to do their job outside of offices. [5]

Question:
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc).
Do benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?


Answer:
Information technology has changed human life. As such, people today are more likely to do their job outside of offices. While some believe that it brings some benefits such as effectiveness and work productivity, I argue that it will cause many drawbacks like individualist and crime.

As a matter of fact said that, traffic congestion is the main factor causing employees come late. By working at home using the advanced mobility, workers can save their time, their money, and they do not feel stress. For example, A 2013 New York Times recently reveals that modern telecommunication tools have increased effectiveness of British employees above 20% annually. As a consequence, the employees can totally focus on their job skills. Therefore, the advance technology of information enhanced workers capabilities. Not only this, businessmen who have high mobility will be more helped. They can easily carry out negotiating and dealing with their clients.

Despite these advantages, there are counter-arguments disadvantages for modern mobility. Initially, while a wide range of sophisticated information devices serve users, it is inevitable that they become lack of socializing. This is because they only interested in their computers to finish their work. What is more, when people use it on the street like in phone or laptop, it will persuade criminal to steal these expensive equipment.

The aforementioned evidence explains that the technology of information plays an equally important role in human being. On account of this, people argue that this advance can help employee to do homework outside of office which can improve their skills and time effectiveness. While it is true, I totally believe that it will boost individualism and crime rate.
irhame   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / The cycle graph shows the various steps of nymph life. [2]

The cycle graph shows the process of nymph life. Overall, there are various steps in the life of nymph. Even though there are five main stages in the growth of the insects, the life cycle is completed between 34 and 36 days.

To begin, the life process of the nymph is started when the female lays eggs, usually two or three eggs per 3 days. What is more, the insects need 3 days to maturity time. The following 9 days, each egg hatches a new generation which nymph molts three times as it develops.

A more detailed looks at the graph reveals that three molting places. Initially, the nymph emerges from egg in the fourth day. Furthermore, it grows to be young insect after 7 days. Eventually, it is called young adult nymph when it is 9 days old. Obviously, it reaches full maturity in the 34-36 days.




irhame   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / A breakdown of standard yearly expenditures in United States regarding the phones sales [2]

A breakdown of standard yearly spending on mobile phone and landline phones in US from 2001 to 2010, a 9 year period is illustrated in the line chart. Overall, while over 10 years the amount of money spent on cell phones increased dramatically, the average expenditure on stationary phones decreased significantly.

There were some changes in expenditure over the following 5 years. While average's sell of residential phone services in 2001 under $700, Americans only bought cell phone services at the same time at about $200 which was the lowest figure in this question period. The following year, the landline phone disposals fell slightly to $650, but the selling of mobile phone rose steadily to $300. Interestingly, both phones experienced a same rate in consumers' expenditures at more than five hundred dollars in 2006.

A more detailed looking at the chart reveals that the significant changes in the last 5 years. Both categories (mobile and landline phones) explained a dramatic decrease and increase to under $500 and above $600 repetitively in 2007. In contrast, while all items altered slowly, the first figure rose significantly to $750 which was the highest proportion yearly spending and another item dropped down to $400.




irhame   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / IT enables people to do their work at home. What are the pros and cons? [3]

In this day and age, the dominant role of information technology is irrefutable. ...
Today, information technology plays an equally important role for societies. As such, it facilitates people having an optimal circumstances for their job achievement and reach the flexibility of workplace. As a consequence, officers now can either work at conventional place such as at office and home. Meanwhile, an increasing trend reveals some merits and demerits.
irhame   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / The extinction's number of plant and animal species, and the percentage of threats to plant life. [2]

A comparison of the extinction's number of plant and animal species per million in a century and the percentage of threats to plant life between 2000 and 2100, a 100-year decade is illustrated in the line graph and the pie chart. Overall, the level of extinction is relied on enormous factors. In any case, while the graph experiences in-depth information about endangered plant and animal species in tropical forests, the chart shows some factors which threaten the plant's existence.

An observation reveals a significant change in the level of plant and animal extinction. In 2000, about 4,000 million species died -the lowest figure for the extinction. What is more, this worrying condition will increase dramatically twenty years later at 10,000 million species. The following 40 decades, this figure is predicted to peak at fifty thousand million species, which is the highest proportion for such extinction. Fortunately, in the last year of question period, the extinction's level is forecast to be a downward trend.

However, some factors threaten plant survival. Obviously, human impacts are higher than natural events. Over three quarter of extinction is caused by human activity, whilst only a fifth threatens come from natural incidents. Agriculture (18.7%) and harvesting (14.4%) are huge impacts which damage plant life. Meanwhile, only 7 percent and 11.7 percent of natural disasters and other events can threaten plant existence. Had the threats of both categories had been decreased, the existence of plant would not been a crucial issue.




irhame   
Nov 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / For who the success of space exploration? [2]

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort.
To what extent do you agree with this?
How do you think space exploration will change the future?


Exploring space is a huge achievement for human being. On account of this, while many argue that this causes national pride due to country's ambassador, I totally agree that this has had international cooperation owing to collaboration and global foundation. From my point of view, I predict the space exploration become necessity and common journey.

As a matter of fact, an organization of space research consists of many scientists in different country. Clearly, those people represent their nationality working on it. Certainly, while they are success in their mission, their country will be proud of them. For example, Neil Elden Armstrong was an American astronaut who was being the first person to walk on the moon. From that moment, the U.S has been famous as the superpower country thanks to this achievement. As a result, people believe that America has advance technologies which can send particular man explore outside the Earth. Therefore, the success of space adventures creates a pride to the nation.

However, there are some counter-arguments against prior idea. Initially, voyage outside the Earth is a result of collaborative efforts from all members who have different nationalities. If this is a shape of cooperative performance, the pride is addressed to such efforts. Eventually, the foundation is funded by many countries. Although its office is located in a country, this institute is in international organization.

For the following decades, I think voyage to space is become an extreme necessity for human as people will take natural resources from other planets to fulfill their needs. What is more, holiday outside the Earth will become common for people since they have sophisticated technology devices which may them travel to particular planet like Mars.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that space exploration is a national pride owing to delegation. While it is true, I totally believe that this is for global efforts due to perfect cooperative work and international foundation. Furthermore, in the future, I argue that carrying out journey to another planet is a compulsory and favorite holiday for human. Where possible, the government should help those scientists to enhance in-depth knowledge how to survive in outer space.
irhame   
Nov 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The benefits of starting own business can outweigh the drawbacks [2]

A large number of people prefer to work in a company rather than choosing to start their own business because the risks are greater if make own business. However, I believe that the benefits of starting own business can outweigh the drawbacks.

Most people are more likely to work in a company rather than creating their own business since own business has greater risks. While it is partly true, i totally believe that the benefits of own business are outweigh the drawbacks

In conclusion, although makecreate own company is quite risky, I still have a strong belief that the benefits resulted are much more enormous and worthy, such as Bill Gates started from the bottom,against risks and now Bill Gates have a large business.

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