Writing Feedback / Recommendation letter from my professor to the University of Edinburgh on continuing master degree [2]

Dear Moray House School of Education
The University of Edinburgh

It is an honor for me to give you information regarding my student, Clark Kent, for his intention to continue his master degree in your University. Firstly, I want to tell you that I knew Kent as his lecturer as well as his dean. He is a great student who has many achievements in both academic and sports field. He is a person who has a tendency to be active in numerous campus organizations, especially in the Faculty of Psychology. He was one of the ministers of Psychology Student Executive Board. Furthermore, he is extremely focused on his study. He, as the matter of fact, finished his bachelor degree solely in just under 4-year with 'Very Satisfactory' predicate. It means that he can manage his time accurately.

Secondly, in the sports field, he is a tennis player who succeeded obtaining a number of medals in the National Level of Tennis Tournament previous years ago. Then, he also involved Basket Ball and Football team in the campus as an essential player thanks to his powerful competence to lead his teammates in the game. Frankly, he has the potential to be a leader in or outside of the field.

Finally, I would argue that giving him a chance to be a student in your University is not an erroneous decision since he has all of the categories to be a successful person due to his high motivation, his attitudes, and the ability to learn quickly. In addition, his capability in sports and his vast knowledge of psychology convince me to give you a strong suggestion to accept him as your student. I assure that he will have an outstanding achievement in Performance Psychology Program.

Therefore, regarding this information, I hope that you should take it into account and can give him a chance to prove what I have said to you. Please contact me if you need further information.

Writing Feedback / Vegetarian is a new way of life, many people used to apply it. But is it good for them? [4]

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.

Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

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Vegetarian is a new way of life for some people, they believe that not eating nor fish will create balance for their health, and also gives many benefits for the Earth. However, eating only vegetables means that the people are lack of other beneficial components such as protein and calcium which the meat and fish have. For this reason, I would argue that it is not appropriate way t use in our life.

At the present, the number of people living with vegetarian lifestyle increase dramatically since many research conducted by the scientists show that consuming only vegetables every eating time will reduce the amount of fat in their bodies because the do not eat food which consist carbohydrate. A research from Harvard University shows that if people only eat vegetables, their bodies will use fat as power, not the carbohydrate. By doing so, they will experience the reduction of their fat due to their activity and eating pattern. As a result, eating vegetables gives benefits for our health.

However, our body not only vitamins from vegetables but protein also as well as calcium are needed by our body. This is because many of our body parts need proteins, such as heart and blood. The lack of components that I mentioned so will affect our body, even though we cannot feel it now, but the decrease of our body functions will be experienced soon and gradual. The same reason is also said by WHO, they argue that their bodies should be given many essential components in the balance way. By having so, our body will be healthy until we grow older. The result is that the vitamins from vegetables are really critical in order to our health, but we need to give ourselves protein as well as calcium.

In many points of view, it is not an erroneous that vegetables make our body fit thanks to their vitamins, but living in balance way is the most appropriate way of life, especially when it comes to their diet. Our bodies should be fulfilled by the beneficial components such as vitamins, calciums and proteins because our bodies need all the components. As a result, balancing our diet is the best way to tackle the healthy issues.

To sum up, vegetarian is one of many appropriate ways of life but keeps our bodies lack of other components also will reduce our body abilities in the long run. Finally, I would give suggestion to the people that eating food consisting of balance calcium, proteins and vitamins simultaneously will lead us to the perfect way of life, especially when we do exercise regularly.

Writing Feedback / 7-year period, 9 different countries - Asian Elephants Population 1997/2004 [2]

A breakdown of the number of Asian Elephants population from 1994 to 2007 as a projected years, a 7-year period is revealed in the graph. Overall, India was the nicest place for elephants to grow up among Asian countries, while China showed reverse.

In 1997, the enormous number of population of Asian elephants experienced in India, almost 10,000 elephants lived in India, while Myanmar saw approximately two times lower than of this. Thailand also shown as the third highest of elephants population, even though it was only no more than 4,000. The other countries were not the best place for this species to breed, because they were solely less than 3,000 elephants.

By 2004, the number of elephants had fallen in most of the countries except Cambodia. Even though the elephants population in India witnessed a dramatic decrease, India was still the greatest population among others, with 7,500. Myanmar also felt gradually to 4,800 elephants, while other countries decline to below 2,800 elephants.

 

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Writing Feedback / Period of 6 decades: Household Expenditures from 1950 to 2010 [2]

A breakdown of the proportion of money spend in household from 1950 to 2010 as a projected years, a 6-decade period in a country is presented in the pie charts. Overall, the majority of 50's people spent their money on housing, while in 2010, food was the essential part to fulfill.

By 1950, the inhabitants had allocated just over seven in ten of their money to housing, while the percentage of spending money on food was almost seven times lower than of this. However, other parts were not the focus of the people to spend their income with, because the figures solely stood at no more than 7%.

In the next six decades, the percentage of expending money to housing witnessed a dramatic fall. The figure finished at 22%, while the proportion of people buying food increased more than three times, to almost more than a third. Transportation and other also experienced a sharp rise to 14% and 19.2% respectively, while health care and education were still in the lowest position.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: The Changes of The Town of Canterbury [2]

Two possible locations for school in the town of Canterbury are planned on the map. Overall, it can be seen that the first school is located in the countryside, far from the Town Centre, while the second is planned in the Town Centre which is surrounded by the people's house.

Rural area as the first possible location to construct a new school is far from the countryside, exactly in the East of black houses. It needs 5km to travel from city center to Sturry. If it is built here, it will be near by Sturry which has 7,000 inhabitants, thus provide an easy access for the countryside people, especially the Sturry's people.

The second option, the school is predicted to be built in the middle of the town center surrounded by a large housing in the west of the university. If it is truly happen, all of the people of Canterbury will be easy to access it, even though there is a 7km distance from town to Chartham, which has 4,500 inhabitants, but there is a main road to connect these areas.

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Writing Feedback / Burnaby Public Library's Visitors [3]

A breakdown of the figure for books read by males and females between 2011 and 2014, as the projected year, a 4-year period in Burnaby Public Library is revealed in the line graph. Overall, the number of male readers experienced the greatest over the period after surpassing female's figure.

In 2011, around 5000 women loved reading books in the library, while men were only more than a half of this. The number of female readers witnessed a less two times increase in the next year to 8000, but the males only experienced a slight rise by 1000. Interestingly, both figures reached the same level in 2013, with 10,000 readers.

By 2014, the number of males and females had witnessed a different trend. The figures for men had risen dramatically and continued to reach a peak at 14,000 readers, while the number of women spending time in library decreased sharply at no more than 8,000 readers.

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Writing Feedback / The cinema is the most popular place for the inhabitants living in Australia [NEW]

A breakdown of people living and visiting four different public facilities in Australia is revealed in the chart. Overall, the cinema is the most popular place for the inhabitants living in Australia, and Australian people are more likely to visit the cinema than others, while the theatre is the least choice for people living in Australia to spend their time.

70% Australian inhabitants spend their time to watch movie in the cinema, while the figure for Australian people enjoying the theatre is more than three times lower than of the cinema does. The percentage of library and zoo visitors are close behind, standing at less than two-fifths and 41%.

Immigrants from English-speaking countries are more enjoy to go to the cinema, more than three-fifths of them visit it, while solely 50% come to the animal conservation. The percentage of new comers going to the library is two-fifths, the theater visitors experience less than two times than library does.

However, immigrants from other countries show their interest to visit the library, they witness almost three-fifths, while half of them spend their time in the cinema. Then zoo and theatre are not the fascinating places for them, because the proportion of them witness no more than two-fifths.

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Writing Feedback / The wind turbines for electricity. [2]

The diagrams reveal the model of wind turbines and the perfect location for maximizing the capability of the wind turbines. Overall, it can be seen that the electricity can be found by simple materials and unappeased source such as wind. The placement of wind turbines also affects the output of electricity which is created by the turbines.

A wind turbine consists of five simply materials. Firstly, blades are made by fiberglass or wood. Secondly, wind sensor is used for directing the blades to the wind and measuring the speed of wind. All of the report from wind sensor appears in the computer, which is installed near by the wind turbines. Thirdly, there is a generator with 1.5 megawatts power which is installed behind the blades and under the wind sensor. Then, the last is a steel tower which becomes a pillar to the wind turbines.

Moreover, there are three different ways to locate the wind turbines which affect the number of electricity produced. First, the pillar of the turbines can be installed under the water but the electricity which is produced is low. In contrast, placing wind turbines in the village can create higher number of electricity then ones. The village turbines obtain 100 kilowatts electricity. Furthermore, wind turbines which are located in high place result higher electricity than others because of the maximum wind strength.

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Writing Feedback / The charity in USA - there are six different ways which Americans can use to give their contribution [NEW]

The pie charts show the percentage of sources of income and expenses of a social foundation in USA during a year. Overall, it can be seen that there are six different ways which Americans can use to give their contribution to the charity institution, and nearly all of the money fund is focused on helping citizens.

People of America have many ways to contribute their fund to the charity. The most popular way is giving food to the institution, as much as 86.6% of the funders give their assistance by this way. Another way is the contribution from the community. There is 10.4% of the charity's revenue comes from it. Moreover, the 2.2% originates from the program made by the institution itself. Then, the income is also from the government and investment, they give 0.2% each, while 0.4% revenue arrive by other ways. The total money which the American charity gets from all of the ways is $53,561,580 for a year.

According to the data, the institution can manage the circulation of money very well. It saves less than $300,000 during a year. Furthermore, almost 96% of the charity spends the revenue to the service programs. While another 2.6% uses for attract the funders, the rest is using for management and general purposes the institution itself.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The intention of students for schooling. [2]

The table reveals with regard to the percentage of students who be present the secondary school in four type of schools in three different years. Overall, it can be seen that the intention of students to go to their schools change every period.

The percentage of student attendance experience a different pattern every year. In Specialist Schools, it remained stable over the period. It stood at 12% in the beginning year, and community schools experienced the same number as it, while Grammar School was twice higher than they had. The highest percentage in 2000 belonged to Voluntary-controlled Schools, it had 52%.

In 2005, three of the schools experienced a decrease pattern of their student attendance, then another was an increase. The percentage of Specialist Schools decrease one percent from the beginning year, while Grammar School fell to 19%. Even though The Voluntary-Controlled School witnessed a decrease trend of 38%, it was still the highest percentage of student attendance in the period. In contrast to Community School which was the only one experienced a grow pattern from 12% to 32% in the second year.

Furthermore, the second year pattern repeated in 2009. They kept decline except community school. It reached a peak at 58%, then defeated The Voluntary-Controlled School which was a decrease of 18%. The percentage of student attendance in Grammar School also fell to 12%, and Special School experienced a gradual drop of 10%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The different ways of collecting water to fulfill the irrigation [2]

The diagrams show the different way of collecting water to fulfill the irrigation. Overall, it can be seen that both of this techniques use a different equipment but same aim.

The first method is called swing basket. This way uses two persons and tools such as ropes and basket from bamboo or leather. This way is used if the deep of the canal just 1-2 meters. Firstly, the ropes fastened to the four sides of the basket. Secondly, two persons stand face to face while hold 2 robes each person. Then, they working together to fill the basket with water and move the water to the canal irrigation by ropes in their hands.

The second method is called rope and bucket. This technique uses more complicated equipment, such as basket, pulley, rollers, ropes, and animal as a mover. This method is used for collecting water in high area such in hill. Firstly, dig a wells until reach 50 meters depth. Secondly, install the rollers in the edge of the wells and also install the pulley to the top of the wells. Third, fasten the ropes to the basket and connect it to the pulley and rollers, then fasten the other side of the ropes to the animal, such a cow as a mover. So, basically the animal do all the process of collecting water by down the hill. When the cow go down the hill, the ropes which connect with the cow will raise the basket that connect with it also. After the basket reach the upper side of the well, it will spill the water automatically.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The most favorite conveyance for employees in Houston, Texas [3]

The table chart reveals the percentage of vehicle that workers in Houston use to go to work and the average age of users of four different vehicles. The bar chart shows the number of CO2 emissions that the vehicles produced during the working activity. Overall, it can be seen that people aged 47 years old prefer travelling to work by train or bus. The highest percentage of vehicles that workers use is a single passenger car, and also the same type of vehicle becomes the greatest number of CO2 emissions producers.

The most favorite conveyance for employees in Houston, Texas is car with driver only. The percentage of this vehicle is 48% and followed by train or bus at 37%. The third is car also, but with more than one passengers at 11%, and the last is bicycle at 4%. The average age of labor that use bicycle as the means of transportation is 39 years, followed by one person in the car at 43 years, the next is more than one person in the car at 44 years, and people aged 47 more likely to use bus or train.

In the Houston, Texas, the workers more likely to use a single passenger car, in contrast to the effect to the environment, it gives more than 0.3 kilograms each person per kilometer. The car with more than one passengers becomes the second largest producers of CO2 emissions approximately 0.08 kilograms per person each kilometer. Bus or train becomes the third with no more than 0.01 kilograms per person per kilometer. The most healthies conveyance is the bicycle with zero CO2 emissions.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 : Loneliness or Better Sense of Community [3]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that living in storey apartment undergo lonesome. The others say that living in aloft building houses have more sense of togetherness than people who live in residence. I strongly believe that live in apartment block can make people lonely because there is no interaction among the inhabitants in the tall flat.

Human kind never feel lonely when they live in an apartment block. The inhabitant of apartment can meet with new people and make a conversation while doing an activity in the flat, thanks to the facilities which is given by the flat management, such as swimming pool, playing ground, and fitness center. In addition, the situation of bustling flat cause they often meet each other. In my opinion, if some people meet every day, it is likely they will interact. For example, they can meet in the elevator, parking lot or in front of their house.

However, live in the housing is better than living in the condominium, because the interaction with the houses' people is more active than in the flat. The activity such as community work give chance to the people for knowing each other. In addition, the inhabitant always celebrate annual celebration together with their neighbors, then organize some competitions to enliven the celebration. For instance, when people of Indonesia celebrate their independence day, they always jazz up the day by creating some contests. For example, basketball competition, football competition, and singing competition. They mingle each other so they never feel alone.

To conclude, live in the housing provide a chance to every inhabitant to interact one another. In contrast to live in the apartment, they never have a big chance to knowing each other thanks to his business.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Watch or Visit The Different Cultures In The World. [3]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Some people say that for learning something new from a foreign country, people should come and visit it directly, but the others say that human beings can learn by watching the television agenda or movies about that country. I truly believe that people should not spend their money to visit a country, but mankind can learn by watching motion picture and documentary videos from the Television Company which record the activity of the villagers.

The uniqueness of a country makes some person curious about it. They want to learn much more about the country by visiting it, so they can feel the nature of this country by themselves. Nowadays, travel to famous place is replaced by tribal tourism. This new trend enables the tourists who bored with an ordinary holiday and needs more challenge during the trip to visit a remote destination, staying with local people and learning about the culture of the local people. In addition, the traveler who visit remote village directly can learn new value and new way of life that the villagers have, so they can compare with their life. Finally, the new trend of holiday adds new choice to the holiday makers. They are able to choose a holiday with new experience, new place and new value of their life.

However, not everybody can visit remote place thanks to the budget, which is not cheap, because the tourist should use vehicles to their destination, and for tribal tourism, it needs extra money to reach the village. Another reason is not everybody can deal with the atmosphere of the village. For the first night, it will be awesome, but for the next days, it will be hard for them thanks to the different way of life. Also, diet will be a factor which is influencing the tourist to staying in the village for a long time. So, not all the human being can get a holiday in tribal tourism.

Yet, there are some television companies which offer an experienced to learn about a particular country without visiting it directly. The television company realizes that there was a big number of people who want to saw and experienced the incredible places in the world, but they did not have enough money to travel there. So, the company makes a program which is showing the country, the villagers, the activity, the way of people life, such as how to get their diet or how to cure from a disease using a traditional way to the audience. Finally, the company got profit from this program, because many people saw it, and also there are benefits for the spectators, because they do not have to spend their money to learn something in remote village thanks to the television program.

All in all, I strongly agree that people do not have to spend much money to travel over the world for learning something new by visiting remote village directly. They can set the channel of the TV while sit down on the chair in front of it and they will experienced same thing.

Writing Feedback / Simple tip for a life: Follow your passion and you'll be happy. [2]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important . Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Some people argue that the most important from a job is the satisfaction of the workers themselves. Another believe that people do not need to love his work so that they are happy through it, but there are another factors. I truly believe that if people's job appropriate with his passion, they will more happily.

In this era, the needs of human being increase every time. They do anything to fulfill their daily basic, even a job that they do not like it at all, they undertake it for living. The result is their needs accomplish, but they are not happy with their job, many of them become stressful and affect their performance at work. Furthermore, many people struggle with their job which is not related to their ability thanks to the high salary from the company which has a high stress at work.

However, do a job that suitable with particular skill make it easily and enjoyably. In addition, not only wage that the workers get, but also they have a way to distribute their hobby. For example, someone good at sing, and render singing as her job will happy to execute her job and get paid also. Another reason is people more likely to do their job which is based on their capability because make them comfortable and satisfied, even there is a big risk on it. For instance, humankind who work in sport section, although they realized the peril that they can get thanks to their job, such as fracture, brain concussion, even dead, but they still perform it.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that people who work according to their fervor will happier than people who work caused money. Because not all the people working to earn money, but to channel their hobby. Then, the money comes to them.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : The Internet Has Changed Everything [2]

The internet has probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what you extent do you agree or disagree.

Life in nowadays more easily thanks to the internet. It is the most powerful creation during the last three decades, without it our life will be contrary. And I strongly agree that the internet changes our life.

Long before the internet was found, our society lives closely. They spend much time to talk each other directly, unlike after the internet was created, they more likely to communicate using the internet and avoid the warmth of gathering together. In addition, the crime rate before and after the internet created increased dramatically, because the criminals have another way to accomplish their mission. Another reason is, the internet cause an addiction. There is a high number of the internet users have addicted to the internet, and this is really damaging.

However, the internet has changed everything. At the present time, the internet becomes the first choice when human beings will do anything. Such as studying, the students more likely to open the internet than the book. Some students say that the book was boring. In contrast to the internet, they can find the same information in the book, but different cover. It means that the internet more interesting than the book. Another reason is it change the way people communicate, before internet exists, people more hardly to communicate with one another, but now, people just touch particular place on the hand phone screen or click some button on the computer's keyboard and they will connect with people who they want.

All in all, the internet becomes an essential part of the human being. This life would be different if the internet not found.

Writing Feedback / Stay in a particular place is better than move to a different area. IELTS Task 2 [2]

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

Nowadays, people move to one place to another place for living. Extremely dissimilar with inhabitant who lived in the past time. And I strongly agree that the way the ancient people live more advantageous than disadvantageous.

Today, the inhabitants live nomadic thanks to pursue their goal for a better life. Many people say that live in one place forever make you static in thinking and do not have extensive knowledge. And that is true, people who move place to place have an ability to more easily to adapt in a new environment. Another advantage is mankind who live far away from home have a good ability to communicate, because they always meet new people in their life with different backgrounds, different traditions and different languages. That's make them rich in knowledge of other countries.

However, be a nomadic person, not only has advantages, but also disadvantages. According to research by Dr. Wheatley from USA shows that family who always move from one area to the others more than three times has big possibility of experienced psychological disorder for their child. This matter thanks to most of the children have not ready yet to adapt to a new environment or new friends and left his old friend which are they know well. Another reason is human being who always nomadic indicated that they cannot adapt to the surrounding community and become covered with locale people.

In conclusion, the advantages of living in permanent area more than the drawbacks. They more able to understand their environment and hinder the child in order to avoid the danger of a new unfamiliar society.

Writing Feedback / Appearance or Education? More concern about the education and the soundness of citizens is required [2]

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving school and hospital. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that the most important to be improved are school and social facility such as hospital rather than increase the number of amazing constructions. And I strongly agree that the government of a country should more concern about the education and the soundness of their citizens.

Countries which have incredible edifices indicates that they are developing countries. The governments allocate much money to improve particular strength of their country, so they can be glorious at particular part. For example, Brazil, which has hosted The World Cup in 2014 do massive construction in every sport building, especially stadiums and another supporting building to facilitate his guests in order to reach the stadiums and build multifarious new hotels for the visitors. In addition, the government builds facility for the inhabitant and of course to help people more enjoy their life or even to attract tourist to visit the country. For instance, Dubai has built many top skyscrapers, one of them is The Burj Khalifa Tower. It is the highest building in the world, and Dubai built it to show his money power thanks to his source. This building attracts visitors to visit it because some people want to see how powerful this structure directly and also to ensure the investors that Dubai is the most advantageous place for invest their money due to his development.

However, social facilities and schools should be the main focus of the government. To become a strong and powerful country, education and health of the inhabitant should be the primary concern by him. An increasing number of multi-storey building without the supported by health and education of the citizens left the country to become crippled, because it does not focus on the personal development of citizens. To illustrate, Brazil has built 12 amazing stadiums and spent more than US$ 14,6 Billion, in contrast to their education sector, there is a big hole in there where is the percentage of the inhabitant who illiterate stood at 88% in 2003 and decrease by now but the percentage still high. In addition, not only education which becomes a huge problem in Brazil, but also the health of the human being in there. According to the research, 83% Brazilians have a disease. I argue that Brazil is one of the country that has the highest crime rate, thanks to the imbalance between the construction of public facilities and football stadiums.

In conclusion, increasing the number of amazing buildings are important, but in my opinion, school facility and hospital are more important than anything.