Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Sense of community within the apartment dwellers [2]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Several people believe that dwelling inside a flat incurs loneliness due to the unavailability of community spirit, whilst others argue that living in a high-rise flat can enhance better sense of community of its residents compared to house residents. This essay will discuss both viewpoints.

In any case, dwelling in an apartment has a capability to build good relationship amongst neighbourhood for several reasons. To begin, one's apartment to others' apartment has a very close distance which allows a person to meet neighbours easily. For example, when one owner cooks a meal, she can share with people who live next to her place. Besides, high-rise flat contain a lot of households who use the same available facilities. This happens, for instance, to the use of a swimming pool, so no body will feel different with their neighbours. These can improve their feeling of similarity to others.

By contrast, I realise that the feeling of isolation could be easily experienced by those who are more engaged on living in a flat. Many disadvantages can threat a neighbourhood. Firstly, the difference of personal characteristic is potential to cause bad relationship amongst apartment owners. To illustrate, one dweller is a person who dislikes crowded. Because his place is close to others, when another person is playing a high volume music, he could immediately stop it by claiming the rights of comfort. Secondly, the building design, which keeps residents' privacy perfectly, limits a dweller to see their neighbours' doing. Thus, people are reluctant to invite neighbours due to always-closed doors.

To conclude, while some see possibilities of good neighbourhood from living in a flat, I argue that less sense of community will emerge if people reside with that way. Therefore, all residents should consider carefully about a place to live.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : TWO DIFFERENT WAYS IN GAINING LESSONS FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY [NEW]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visitting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visitting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

ESSAY :
Today, when human can easily travel abroad, a number of people believe that watching television channels about tourism can give more lessons about other countries rather than truly taking a tour to destination countries. This essay will explain about factors supporting that notion and lessons that can be obtained by merely visitting a country.

It is clear people tend to watch television to know more about other places surrounding them. The first reason why people are keen on this is no need of travelling expenditures. For instance, an European who is curous about Chinese Great Wall decides to see a touring channel about China because he could learn its historical background without spending his money to book an aeroplane to Beijing. Furthermore, the result of trustworthy information from a tour guide in programmes is also a positive side of lessons gained by watching travelling shows in TV. As an example, TV directors would not let their journalism being full of wrong facts about a culture, so they will always use an experienced tour guide to add more information quality.

Nevertheless, some lessons could not be learnt by watching shows in TV. First, some social etiquettes of a culture in different country are only accepted in the country itself. For example, eating by sounding chews is suggested in Japan while a consumer is eating noodles to respect the chef. Another thing people can learn from abroad travellings is how to talk with foreign language in the only place where it is used. This unparalleled chance can be illustrated when a traveller goes to Saudi Arabia which allow a traveller feeling the real taste of speaking Arabic with real community.

In conclusion, it is true that people would rather gain lessons from a country via television channels for some reasons though parts of lessons can only be achieved by actually travelling to that place. Hence, no ones can judge which one is better as foreign tourisms also offer unique benefits.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : WATER SUPPLY FOR EVERYONE OR NO RESTRICTION FOR WATER USAGE? [NEW]

As water is a valuable resource, goverments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Essay :
For living, human beings and other creatures need sufficient amount of water. Because of the necessity of water, this resource is irreplaceable in life. By this case, some people realise that city councils should limit the amount of water that is used by their residents. Similar to this, I admit that a policy for limitation of water use should be made because of some reasons.

Plenty of people who support unavailability of water resource policy argue that it would be impossible for mankind to lower their needs of water. The main reason is that water deficiency can result in worse condition of human health. It is proven significantly that one person should at least drink eight glasses of mineral water every day to keep them fit and fresh. If it is not applied, a man may suffer dehydration. Moreover, water is the only supply to create a clean environment. Not only in order to keep clean body, all of inhabitants consumes water also to wash dishes, do laundry, cook meals, or even wash a vehicle. These conclude that it would be hard to reduce water use to survive in life.

Contrarily, I would agree that water consumption would be better to be managed well. It means that restrictive rules should be created with the aim of water use restraint. One of reasonable backgrounds of this action is that many areas have less amount of water resource, so spreading water flow to these regions is necessary. This severe issue can be found in isolated regions, such as separated tiny islands, where water-related technology is not developed yet. Another excuse is that weather is unpredictable in some countries this year. Climate change has changed water cycles. This, for example, can cause one state undergoing a drought for a half year. Therefore, water saving would be a wise decision to prevent this kind of unpleasant situation. As a result, wasting water for unacceptable reason should be prohibited by rulers all over the world.

In summary, it is clearly undeniable that water saving is appropriate decision for governments to ensure widespread water supply in all districts. Related to this, I hope that not only policy development is chosen, but also all councils socialise people not to waste water.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : World Population Projection and Population of Distinctive Areas, Urban and Rural [3]

IELTS WRITING TASK 1
The first chart illustrates the projection of global citizen development from 1800 to 2100, a 2-century period. Meanwhile, the second chart elucidates the changes of predicted number of people in two distinctive areas, namely urban and rural, over a 25-year period started from 2015 to 2040. Both figures are measured in millions of people.

The most important part to note from the first graph is that a fluctuation is foreseen to happen among human population in the world during the period of time. In addition, population of residents in urban and rural areas generally will experience significant, different changes with rural community following the pattern of worldwide growth and city citizens remaining stable.

As a starting point, by the year 1800, population number stood at 1,000 million people. In 1920, this number increased slowly to nearly twice of 1800's quantity. Continuously, the trend inclined in a considerable way by 4,000 million in 2000, and it will reach a peak at 8,000 million in 2040. After that, a drop is predicted to occur and remain 6,000 million inhabitants in the last projected year, 2100.

Otherwise, the trends in different areas, which started at above 1,000 million of urban residents and over 2,000 million of rural residents, is forecast to have dissimilar pattern over the predicted period. An unchanged trend of city population growth will make it stay at over 1,000 million until 2040, whilst a progressive rise will be able to be seen on rural society bringing the number to 4,000 million.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : BAR CHART ABOUT VEHICLE HYBRID-TECH SALES IN JAPAN, US, AND OTHER COUNTRIES [3]

The bar chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

ESSAY:
The bar graph elucidates the rate of worldwide commerce of hybrid transports during a 3-year period, from 2006 to 2009, in Japan, US, and other countries.

It is noticeable that all hybrid transport sales over the period increased through distinctive patterns among the considered countries. In other words, more customers bought those hybrid technology in the end of the period.

To begin, Japanese buyers inclined sharply from only more than 50,000 in 2006 to above 325,000 in 2009. Similar to this figure, other regions which were also taken into account experienced an upward trend though the increasing number of markets was not as dramatic as a rise in Japan.

On the other hand, the quantity of consumers in United States, who were engaged on purchasing types of transport that are capable to work technologically in hybrid, fluctuated along in the chart's period. The trend began at 250,000 in 2006 and then reached 275,000 in 2009.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / INVENTORS AND DOCTORS IMPORTANCES - both group are focused on different subjects - IELTS TASK 2 [NEW]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

ESSAY:
It is clear that the world is inevitably full of various fields of job apart from past, present, or even future time. As regards this fact, since inventors have different focuses in their lives with doctors, like creating new objects, and inventors bring dissimilar beneficial sides to society compared to doctors, I admit that inventors have distinct importance with doctors.

To begin, it is true that a developer has several duties and interests which are incomparable to those of another job, such as a doctor. Inventors usually are responsible for an improvement of a region or a country through their innovations or cutting-edge creations. For example, developers have to manage an urban planning that is unique and cannot be found in other areas. By this case, the illustration of their objects might be a town square in city centres. They design it with eco-friendly style which this may be a breakthrough in their environments. Meanwhile, a doctor has duties in maintaining people's health. This means that these two different occupations pay attention to unequal objects. Doctors focus on living things. By contrast, inventors deal with just non-alive matters.

Another reason is that merits given by brand-new-object designers are not the same with benefits from doctors. One of the differences can be seen from the characteristic of benefits. Inventors mostly affect a community in indirect way. After discovering new devices, as an example, they still need a distribution process of information that spread their innovations to mass. Consequently, many benefit takers do not know who developers behind the innovations are. Different from it, doctoral contribution can be noticed directly, like recovery of a disease after doing surgery. Therefore, I believe that influential impacts from doctors are more valuable as having strong correlation with mortality and life expectancy trends in a region.

All in all, it is true that the importance of inventors' stakes is below the significant roles of doctors due to their own interests and positive influences on a community. In addition, I hope that both jobs can achieve public appreciation which are as valuable as their contributions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : SCHOOLS AND PARENTS AS THE DETERMINERS OF CHILDREN HEALTHY LIFE [3]

MANY CHILDREN THESE DAYS HAVE AN UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE. BOTH SCHOOLS AND PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SOLVING THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

Today's generation is forced by unknown trends to do every action quickly or instantly than before. As a result, some children are identified unhealthy due to their daily habits. Regards to this, I realise that schools and parents are the main roles who have to take responsibility in dealing with this issue because both of them are the closest systems of environment in children lives.

Schools have duties to educate children to have healthy ways of life because they are the first educational places for human resources in gaining basic knowledge. Moreover, children almost allocate all their day times in class to study. For this reason, schools have compulsory tasks to invite all their students in applying healthy lifestyle. To illustrate, school can ask students to bring vegetables or fruits every day to be eaten in lunch time. This can make them used to healthier habits rather than doing nothing when the students bring chicken nuggets and burgers frequently.

Furthermore, parents are the most responsible actors to provide healthy life to kids. Kids still have no jobs and be dependent on their parents financially. Consequently, parents should be able to serve nutritious food every day such as accustoming them to consume meats, veggies, fruits, and milk. If their children do not seem to like those menus, it would be still another parents' duty to find ways in appealing healthy menus to their children. By doing this, children will have better fitness and be protected by the threat of disease. So, it is inevitable job for parents in making their kids live healthily.

To conclude, schools and parents are significant stakeholders to implement healthy lifestyle in children because of their educative roles and influences in children daily meals. In this case, I hope that all families and school can be cooperative to realise healthy life however strategies they would decide.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : IS ENTERTAINER'S-LIFE-RELATED INFORMATION MEANINGFUL FOR US? [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, when life challenges become tougher, the necessity of electronic media turns it to be extremely important as it could help people gaining information and entertainment. However, media tends to inform entertainers' lives and relations regardless of who they are, whether they are known as actors, singers, or football athletes. In this case, I agree that media programme management should communicate more about ordinary people's lives because of some reasons.

A number of viewers who stay on the celebrity information usually reason like these below. First, they have suffered from rush hours and stressful duties at work, so they only want TV channels which are entertaining, or it means out of thoughtful shows. For instance, watching what are new in their idols will be exciting for them despite news and discovery channels. Secondly, they are interested on imitating celebs' styles. That is why they enjoy any information that publishes brands the celebs are loyal to.

Contrarily, in my perspective, media officers should reduce their preferences to expose artists and athletes' lives, except the momentous info. Instead of it, it seems more beneficial to acknowledge the true lives of normal persons from variety of job fields. To illustrate, broadening knowledge about a farmer's life will bring positive outcomes for more people. Society can be more respectful to agricultural products after seeing how difficult the farmers grow plants and maintain them. Therefore, paying attention to other occupation doers is more essential in life.

In brief, although entertainment which mostly reveals artists' ways of life is helpful to refresh minds, opening up reality of humble lives, such as that of the lower income achievers, will be more purposeful in life. Related to this, I suggest that media should counterweight entertaining programmes and informative, actual news.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: ELECTRONIC MEDIA IS A THREAT TO HUMAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP [2]

The use of electronic media ha s a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed technology era, new media-related inventions have helped people to do their regular communication, such as the emergence of portable computers or mobile phones. Nevertheless, I admit that electronic devices can bring a demerit on personal interaction among the users.

to begin, those who contradict with the negative impact of electronic stuff normally realise that more advantages can be obtained anyway by utilising it. Firstly, most advanced media that work electronically creates many opportunities for people to communicate across long distances. To illustrate, two best friends can still keep in touch although they are living in different continents at the same time. Next, the frequency of interaction can also incline due to the invention of portable gadgets. People are possible to carry mobile phones anywhere nowadays, so their communication would be more intensive with their relatives.

Conversely, I believe that a threat can incur to the interpersonal relationships because of those electricity-based media, such as smartphones and tablets. the reason of this is that electronic gadgets, that allow people to access the internet wherever they are, will make the users tend to capture attentions only to their virtual interactions within every gadget they are using. The illustration for this could be the lower intention of users to have a conversation with a person next to them. This can occur inside a family when all members become busy with the media, ignoring spending time together to have a chit-chat at home. It leads to the worsening action of direct communication. Therefore, it will endanger interpersonal relationships among people.

In conclusion, while some people agree that benefits are provided greatly by electronic media, others are certain of the drawback of those media in personal relationships like hindering people from open communication. In this case, today's generation then has to bend with any challenges that exist as the result of media of electronic usage despite all positive sides offered.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : Leaking in and out of air inside a house [NEW]

The figure displays air circulation either it comes in or comes out of a 2-floor house through various holes and rifts that are available in the house and influence the heat loss and energy wasted inside. Overall, air from the outside enters the house merely through every crack in the ground floor and first floor. Otherwise, energy consumption of the air can be seen from the air which flows away out of the house in the rooftop.

The process of leaking air involves many features and appliances. In the base level, a dryer vent near a washing machine and two middle-sized windows are the tools that take part in the process. In the first level, more stuff allows the air to enter the house, including electrical outlet, a big window, a kitchen fan vent, and some rifts in the main door and walls. It also flows into from an outdoor faucet that is attached to a crawl space. This air motion creates normal temperature to emerge in the house which occurred in the basement, toilet, kitchen, and living room.

Turning to the reverse process, air in the house leaks out from recessed lights in the kitchen and toilet. Also, it gets out through a fan vent in the bathroom and an attic hatch in the living room. This makes energy released from the house, such as heat as the residual of fireplace.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: process of a wind turbine and its locations [2]

The images represent the systematic scheme of a windmill structure and its usual positions that are categorised into three different spots. It is noticable that a wind turbine includes three fibreglass or wooden blades, a wind sensor, a generator, and one high pole which supports the blade frame to stand.

At first, the process of electricity generation within a windmill starts from the air movement that comes towards its propeller. This motion will be detected afterwards so as to identify its speed and direction by a sensor attached near the blades. This substantial part will send the information about the wind to a computer which is located in an office by the wind turbine. Its main aim is to adjust the direction and angle of its blades. Afterwards, the spinning motion of the turbine will produce electricity with output up to 1.5 megawatts.

In addition, in order to gain optimal operations of electricity generator from wind, windmills could possibly be placed in three distinctive areas. First place for this turbine is to shore it up under the shallow sea water. This benefits the land to prevent it from disturbance. Another option is positioning the machine on the top of a hill that enables it to expose maximum wind forces. Moreover, the last choice could be next to a house that has a meaning to resize the windmill to a smaller one. This is normally called as a domestic turbine that is capable of creating electricity till 100 kilowatts.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Entrepreneur or worker? What are the benefits and the drawbacks of it? [3]

SOME PEOPLE DECIDE TO START THEIR OWN BUSINESS INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR A COMPANY OR ORGANISATION. DO THE ADVANTAGES FOR PEOPLE WHO WORKING FOR THEIR OWN BUSINESS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

In today's world, economical needs has been people's priority to survive in life. Thus, most inhabitants compete with each other to find the best work for themselves. In other words, an occupation that can guarantee the amount of money they earn will be more than enough for them. relating to this, some decide to build a company or organisastion themselves rather than being employees of others' factories. To a certain degree, I argue that more positive impacts are attainable instead of exposing its drawbacks.

To start with, there are plenty of merits on committing to create a self-company which can improve someone's quality of life. First of all, starting a personal business in an area means providing more job vacancies to society. That way, the owner indirectly helps his homeland to reduce unemployment rates for a particular time. Differently, looking for a job to be an officer will only make people become dependent which will enlarge threat forces to come if a country witnesses an inflation. Secondly, a founder can train his creativity to design products which follow his passion. mainly, this will give him greater self-satisfaction when at the same time he can also determine his own earning to achieve higher profits. For instance, women who love clothes designing could establish their boutiques which enable them directly to do passion everyday. Meanwhile, a worker can only follow the instruction of a factory where he works. No fun action can be done in that condition, except their regular workloads. in another case, an illustration about money that entrepreneur gets can be seen in a CEO's income compared to his employees salaries for a month.

Apart from it, demerits in starting a business still exist. The most noticeable drawback is a new

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : CAREER RELATIONSHIP AMONG WORKERS - officers' responses [4]

The pie charts elucidate the percentage of officers' responses as per official relationships either with monitors or working partners in their own companies. Two investigations in separated years collected the data which were taken in 2005 and 2009.

In essence, it is clear that one type of responses within both graphs had been excluded which were no answer in the first chart and shallow relationships in the second one. Furthermore, it can be seen that most respondents predominantly addressed to have very good connections over the years of consideration.

As a starting point, in 2005, officers who stated that their interactions with supervisors went very well stood at 61 percent, and this figure inclined slightly to just under three-quarter of 100%. Likewise, 2009 also experienced a considerable rise to 70 percent in very good cooperative relationship with other workers. Afterwards, similar trends also exist in good relationships among two work-related communications that were shown in its each decreasing number to below a quarter with monitors and exactly 25% with partners at work.

Companies which did not involve the contribution of a supervisor rose a bit by 4% when respondents, who revealed not having a co-worker, went up very slightly to 2%. Moreover, in other options, poor relationships between workers and supervisors remained constant virtually at 2% over the survey times, while fair interactions of it witnessed a small decrease by 2%. Otherwise, fair interactions with working partners fell significantly to 3 percent.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : rates of petrol consumption as per incomes characteristics in the US and the UK [4]

The line graph compares the percentage of the use of gasoline within two different nations, namely the United States and the United Kingdom, that are categorised by economy status of their own national citizens. Overall, it is noticeable that USA's inhabitants who are identified as the poor spend greater amount of their incomes than the rich do. This trend is the opposite of a rating pattern which is witnessed by the UK population.

To begin, people in poverty in the United States allocate approximately 4% or more of their salaries to consume fuels as they need to drive every day. The highest percentage among this category is the use of petrol until above 5% of earning. In addition, middle-income earners in this country use about four to five per cent of their money to purchase petroleum in driving activities. The consumption rates then fall in the group of wealthy population. Those who are in prosperity merely spend between 2.5% and 3.9% of their whole incomes.

On the reverse, poor society in the UK is the smallest group who utilises fuels according to its proportion in petrol usage. Their allocations are below 1% to nearly 3%, whilst people in the UK who raise medium level of incomes use about 3-4% of the money to fill up their daily transports. Likewise, prosperous community also prioritises their earnings in that interval. However, it begins from different starting point, 3.5%, as the smallest proportion.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : IS JUDGING PERSONALITY FROM CLOTHES RIGHT TO BE JUSTIFIED? [3]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today's thousands of mode represent that people in the world become more concerned in their style of clothing. Regarding to this, several people believe that human's wardrobe is the best tool to indicate someone's characteristic. Otherwise, I personally believe that it is wrong to describe everyone's personality by seeing only to clothes that are being worn.

Supporters who think of the clothes function in detecting human's characteristics mainly argue for some references for that statement. One reference explains that colours can express a general view of a man. For example, bright colours are popular with a person who is cheerful and happy-go-lucky. By contrast, dark sensation, such as grey, brown, and black, are related to a group of people who are mysterious and cool. Another reference of these judges shows that people's neat tidiness in wearing costumes could visualise their responses towards rules in a particular environment. Those, who are neat, are acknowledged excellent in keeping obedience.

On the other side, I would argue that it is unfair to merely consider clothes to judge others' personality. The reason for this is human's character is determined by abstract components, such as behaviours, habits, and thoughts. These things regenerate from heredity, knowledge, and experiences. To illustrate, it is common to misjudge a person who is good looking and diligent, but behind all his shown characteristiccs, he likes to drink alcohol and shout out in his parents' faces. Besides, inner factors are more appropiate to be responsible on this case. Therefore, this proves that it is not that simple to judge people's personality by assessing their appearance.

In essence, even though some people tend to conclude main points of others' personalities through their clothes, it is obvious that several factors are more significant in illustrating people's characters. I suggest that society should change their ways to predict characteristics from clothes.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : annual data of travellers of three popular airports in New York (1995-2000) [2]

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
A breakdown of the number of annual passengers in three distinctive airports which are substantial in New York during a 5-year period starting from 1995 to 2000 is represented in the bar graph. The most important to note is that all of the considered airports, namely John F. Kennedy, LaGuardia, and Newark witnessed a respective rise over the period.

At the beginning of the rates. LaGuardia gained the most immense number of travellers with total roughly 35 million in 1995, whilst Newark's visitors were detected as the fewest among the three, at below 20 million of people. In the end of the period, 2000 experienced almost similar ratios in those two flight areas, yet both figures doubled to just under 70 million in LaGuardiaand slightly higher than 40 million passengers in Newark. Along the alteration, Newark airport had been clarified as stable at that number since 1998.

Unlike those mentioned airports, John F. Kennedy airport fluctuated over the five years of data collection. By 1995, there were more than 25 million visitors who entered that airport. After that, in the next two years, total guests inclined significantly by almost a half of 1995's figure, about 48 million. Then, a considerable decrease occurred until 1999before the data indicated the emergence of an upward trend of 40 million beyond that of Newark.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Ielts 2 : The advantages of supervision equipments that outweigh the disadvantages in society. [2]

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and dong (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras.). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In this modern ages, many experts succeed in inventing brand new technologies to global society. The existence of machines than can record human's behaviour has been applied in many sectors in life. These devices are possible to supervise people's words and actions, such as via a mobile phone or a security camera. In fact, those who are monitored mainly do not notice the the monitoring activity is happening. In this case, I believe that there are plenty of advantages in utilising these applications which are greater than the demerits that will come.

For many certain reasons, some users of the aforementioned gadgets commit to use these tools. There are two main benefits of using these materials. Firstly, the equipment can show evidences of accidental moments in a particular place accurately. This can be seen, for example, in the instalment of CCTVs within several mini markets. If there is a thief taking a product, the counter officers can easily notice and then claim what they see to the robber. Secondly, in a company, this device can visualise the quality of some employees in working. The employers can adjust what the punishment will be in a proper way after they catch the mistakes of these employees at work.

Despite all beneficial sides, there is one major drawback of the usage of monitoring tools. This stuff is able to reveal people's privacy which should be respected and hidden. Sometimes, this situation will threat te group of observed people. Others may misuse those people's secrets so as to gain profitable outcomes from the actions. Obviously, this contradicts the law relating to social norms and human's rights. Therefore, using a detector to see others' acts has a disadvantage.

In summary, I would argue that although the drawback of monitor stuff exists, human beings will gain more benefits by installing it in some right places, such as to guarantee the security of an area.

Writing Feedback / PRODUCTION PROCESS OF FROZEN FISH PIES - several machines and equipment involved [2]

The diagrams illustrate the production process of frozen fish pies in a company. The first image displays the contains of a ready-to-serve fish pie, whereas the second one explains about all of the steps in manufacturing. Overall, it is important to note that there are four main ingredients within the pie which consist of peas, fish, sauce, and potatoes. In addition, in the production line, three major parts of the process are delivering, mixing, and packaging.

Firstly, in order to operate the manufacture, several machines and equipment will be necessary. By far, at least two trucks in distribution process, sliding machines to transfer the components, and other supportive robots will be used until the products are ready to be stored in a freezer.

Before the process of cooking begins, as the start, two trucks will send potatoes and fish to the factory. the potatoes delivery has a maximum duration to be delivered one month. After that, the potatoes will enter cleaning, peeling, and slicing units. Next, those will be boiled, chilled, and kept till they are ready to be mixed with other materials. In treating fish, the process of fish distribution service to salting the salmon will take time about 12 hours or less. Then, these fish will be removed for its bones and skin, checkčd by an inspector, and added with peas and sauce. Until this step, the potatoes and fish will meet and be wrapped properly. Finally, this signs that the product s have been well-prepared to be stored in the freezer.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : opinions about children contribution in working experiences [3]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In these ages and days, a great number of countries in the world permit children to be employed in paid jobs. Whilst this engagement is believed potential to reduce children's interests to pursue educational background, I would argue that this opportunity could train more children's skill with its experiences to be more efficient in careers.

It is mainly believed that child labour is a wrong way to treat children because it can lower their chances to enroll education up to universities. Education aspect has a serious focus to be undertaken such as it requires a certain degree of time to enter lectures, do assignments, and discuss topics with friends. This argument is supported by a study in China that 1,300 people lost opportunities to join formal education as they no longer have intention to do it, and the regulation of schools have banned them due to the applicants' ages. However, allowing children to get jobs at young ages will enable them to have better performances at work as they learn to work earlier compared with graduates of a university.

By contrast, positive responses from public regarding working children issue bring one inevitable reason in which they admit that children will obtain work experiences more greatly than workers who spent time to study ahead before joining a company. That kind of experiences proves their abilities in showing professionality and skilful teamwork building. For instance, since the later adults from laboured children have learned how to operate knitting machines or packaging in a manufacturer from several years before, this makes them used to do that workload, and then the products they work on will be finished in seconds. Therefore, I believe that having worthy job experiences is encouraged as it increase future employees' skills and readiness to get into working life.

In essence, even though children will possibly witness decreased motivation to continue study and it comes to be unjustified, participating in actual job matters is precious enough to be obtained for its results in accelerating their preparation to face workplace and job-related duties. Hence, a careful consideration should be undertaken by any stakeholders which can determine new generations' level of chances to take apart in occupation even in young ages.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : suitable responses for treating the addicts of drugs [2]

Should drug addicts be jailed or rehabilitated? Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In today's era, many societies in various nations apply laws for narcotic addicts by sending them into jails, while others think medical facilities that are focused on healing drug addictions are suitable because the users are also recognised in sickness.

A number of communities who agree to imprison narcotic addicts think that this way can reduce their potentials to consume it again. In the jail, these illegal-material consumers will overcome loneliness and unpleasant atmosphere which enable them to reflect of what they did in the past, thus it has a possibility to cleanse their thoughts to do those risky behaviours. As it happens, a recent study from Social Department of the United States informs that a prison is reliable to vanish addicts' intention to take illegal drugs in the future. Nonetheless, I personally argue that imprisoning the addicts is insecure and painful for them as they stop consuming the drugs in the lockup, so that this solution is discouraged to be applied.

In reverse, several people realise that the problem of drug addiction can be solved carefully and efficiently by keeping the addicts into a rehabilitation centre because this way is safer medically. Rehabilitation as one of public services has a supportive roles to heal the effects of narcotics within bodies and clear objectives with rational strategies to solve the problem. For instance, people in rehabilitation with drug usage background will be treated and monitored regularly by the staff, thus it will make the patients cured quickly rather than locking them up in the prison. Besides, it is proven as more successful way to halt the sufferers' willingness to consume the drugs. Therefore, I would admit that this such remedy will be more appropiate to apply due to its concerns on physical conditions of the drug users.

To sum up, I believe that rehabilitation is preferable to be chosen to cure illegal drug consumers because it takes into account the treatment of reducing addiction illness harmlessly though locking up them in jails can produce initiatives to ponder their last fatal misbehaviours.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : which one is better between childcare services or grandparenting programme for children? [4]

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In this competitive period of time, most working parents trust childcare businesses to look after their children, whilst others contradicts this view and tend to pick grandparents to undertake parenthood. Whereas elderly people had gained many experiences in upbringing youngsters, I believe that the option regarding child centre provides theoretical-based techniques through their staff in caring for children.

Several people who agree with a statement to keep their kids in grandmother's house normally think that the children will be well-maintained by grandparents as they know how perfectly their parents took care of them in many years. The grandmothers and grandfathers had known the best way to deal with children from a long time, and they impossibly endanger their own grandchilds, thus parents put their trusts on them to look after their children. This view sometimes is a wise choice based on an article in Parenting Magazine as the grandparents can cooperate effectively about on which food the kids have an allergy and how to calm them when the kids get tempered. Having said that, a study by the year 2000 in Cornell University reported that grand-parenting mostly practise an indulgent version of parenting that brings negative outcomes to children later.

Children of career mothers will gain better parenthood if they are put in a day care for its fully trained staff. All workers in a child centre has a mandatory task to enter training services from their workplace so as to guarantee them to be best carers for the babies and toddlers, so these staff will know about some effective practical tips to nurture the children to have well-developed brain and behaviour in the future. This strategy is highly recommended by National Child Centre in America as it will help parents to optimise their kids' golden ages even though they do not involve on earlier parenting. Therefore, I personally argue that considering a childcare service is better option to bring up children after parents who actualise caring duty themselves.

In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both placing children to be raised predominantly by grandparents in parental working families and keeping the children in a certified and qualified day care facility, but I am positive that the outcomes of child centre services are more positive instead of grand-parenting.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Is money the one most substantial factor to determine working poductivity for employees? [2]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?

In this cutting-edge 20th century, many people argue that financial intensives are the most influential to enhance people's working tenacity in the same workplace year to year. In this case, I believe that this occurs since money is related to basic needs and able to be achieved only if they are in more executive status.

It is commonly argued that money is a vigorous, positive force due to fundamental needs that should be satisfied in order to survive in life, so that everybody has to work to ensure the availability of daily meals and housing facilities. In England, home economic studies of Bristol University in 1998 had shown that most workers in three major manufacturers valued incomes as the most influential factor on the dynamic of work motivations. Undoubtedly, I would admit that money is an unparalleled positive reinforcement at work as it helps people to meet daily basis.

In professional life, higher income growth can happen when a employee succeeds to be promoted in achieving better position. For this reason, the majority of workers compete to be positioned in the upper level at work, and eventually it results in rising level of their motivation to perform desirably. By the end of year 2012, management business related survey of Bandung Institute of Technology informed that the level of performance quality among Ultra Jaya Corporation managers rose by 20% while the selection of next general manager was being conducted. On the contrary, other factors are assessed capable of influencing intention to do jobs which include adding up working experiences and personal circumstances outside workplace.

For the aforementioned reasons, I believe money's power to determine working performances is caused by its function to reach primary needs in life and its connection with promotion to the next levels.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : agreement or disagreement towards art at school as an important subject to focus [3]

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today's generations mostly think that artworks are not suitable to be in class. In my opinion, I admit it is true because children have different talents based on their inherited skills although learning to deepen comprehension in art are potential to determine children's ability to value artistic goods.

It is believed that joining art classes at school for children is justified to be preferable because natural talents which symbolize creativity that are not only drawing and painting. Mankind were born with a wide range of aptitude, so when a child is forced to enter art school in which she lacks of confidence, she will get down and feel useless. A similar case was ever found in the observation of 40 toddlers with sport talents in the Netherlands' preschool which revealed that stressful states were detected in 78% of samples when they had to sit down in art class for 3 hours. Therefore, I suppose that children are supposed to have freedom to choose on what talents they would like to develop at school.

Meanwhile, a large number of people have contradict views about this issue as they argue that learning to paint and draw at school can improve children's sense of aesthetics. The children will be able to learn valuing an artistic object if they ever experience the difficulties of conceiving and creating art. In the future, in order to decorate the kid's house to make it beautiful, the kid will be easier to plan himself the design of house that they want. Regardless of it, I strongly believe that people's unique aptitude must be respected since they are children, so art should not become compulsory learning material for kids.

In summary, although art will help people to develop later sense of beauty, I would argue that art courses should be excluded as obligatory subjects at school since children have rights to choose their favorite foci to learn.