Writing Feedback / Several televised talent shows have their own purpose to reach. IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [2]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

In many countries, talent shows in television have become popular performances. Half of these programs are aimed to find many amazing talented people. Meanwhile, others are made to just entertain the societies. In my view, only few of those programs have risen new stars successfully while other shows only present amateurish artists.

There are a number of unexpected people who have outstanding talent discovered by televised talent programs. One of them is One Direction that formed in Britain Got Talent. Before this show there were ordinary people but now they are one of the most famous group singers worldwide. Talent program gave them an opportunity to show out their extraordinary ability. If this program has not existed they should not be as famous as now.

However, in many developing countries televised talent programs just serve entertainment shows and ignore to find new talented people because of a reason. They want to serve a phenomenal performance that attracts more people to watch without pay too much money to the artists. . For example, in Indonesia there are more than five different talent shows during six months and more than fifty people chosen as finalists. These shows just entertain their consumers commercially ifor amount of time. Therefore, related company will experience much more profit instead of paying for known artist.

In conclusion, several televised talent shows have their own purpose to reach. Whether it is to find natural ability or to just entertain.

Writing Feedback / Emissions if Cows Keep Cutting the Cheese? [2]

California's decision to keep emissions of methane is opposed by a local dairy industry. Amount of methane come from respiration and manure of cattle. It is not as dangerous as carbon dioxide but it is counted 25 times more than carbon dioxide producing from industrial factories.

Dairy company has protested the policy of limiting gas from cattle, government are considering a law about cattle diet. Government aims to enforce new manure management practices that help to diminish amount of methane produced from cattle. It is an effort from The California Air Resources Board that has targeted to reduce methane emission by 40 percent by 2030, from 2013 levels.

However, this regulation has refused by dairy companies. They claimed that it just a strategy to fell the future of California dairy industry. In other side, earth has witnessed not only more extreme climate change for the latest 14 months but also the increasing of temperature and sea level. Until at the moment California has adjusted the idea from Argentina to convert the manure into green energy.

wired.com/2016/08/can-california-cut-methane-emissions-cows-keep-cutting-cheese/

Writing Feedback / Education in India: Are students failing or the system? [2]

TED summary

Sonam Wangchuk, an engineer, went to Ladakh to find his engineering study but eventually he and his friends established a student educational and cultural movement of Ladakh. Ladakh is a mountain desert located at 11.000 feet in the range shadow of Himalaya. Ladakh has minority society, culture, linguistic and crucial problem of education. He surprised that 95 percent of 10 degree students failed on their exam. He believes that it is failure of the system and not the student.

During seven years he succeeded to improve the quantity of student who passed the exam from 5 percent to 55 percent and went up to 75 percent in 2015. However, he did not leave the students who still had failed. He built a special residential school for them. In his view, they can explore the world and repair their failure. In these alternative school he set up a simulation country where there is a presidential election every two months, news paper campus , radio campus and so on. They experienced the real life role. Hence, at the end of the school they were mature to face the world. Moreover, in the school they performed many experiments and then they discovered many precious inventions.

Writing Feedback / Having a job that you love doing make you happier - IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [7]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

Nowadays, some people believe that they have to choose job they love to do in order to be happier. However, in my opinion there are other things that affect to have the happiness.

Deciding what job we want to do is important. Job is our ambition that we have when we were young and job is our future. We used half of our live to learn how to be able to do it in schools. Then we are going to spend our future to do it. We will do the same routinity every day. Therefore it may make us bored, stess and unhappy. To avoid these unpleasant possibilities we should have a job that we love to do because it make us happy as long as we do it.

Several factors like how much your salary, how long your work time and how pleasant your environment will affect your mental health. If you earn less money from your job you may get mental illness like stress to think about how you can pay for your live services. Another factor is how much time do you spend in a week to work. When you have no time even to see your friends or just enjoying your leisure time because of your job, you may lose your happiness, feel lonely and become sick. Also your office environment will touch your physicology because you meet the same people every day. If they are good individuals and very enjoyable you may fell comfort and grateful. Whereas, not all people in your work place seem like that. Sometimes you will find annoying people around you. Thus it can disturb you.

In conclusion, i believe that to be happier with our job we should love it. Beside that, we should consider some factors that have impacts to our happiness as well.

Writing Feedback / TED Summary: For tolerance, we need more tourism [3]

By Aziz Abu Sarah

He is a Palestinian and he grew up in Palestine. However, he did not want to be a soldier when he was a child. He realized that revenge should only build a wall separating people to others. B the time, he has decided to dedicate his life to establish peace in his country. He has thought about sort of ways to do that. Eventually he found that tourism is one of the ways to make his dream come true. He believes that tourism can build friendships. He gave an example from his experience when he founded a tour aimed to connect people. He had two tour guides who are an Israeli and a Palestinian. During the tour they co-operate to tell their history, archaeology, narrative, and conflict differently. However, tourists who join in the trip absolutely enjoyed their vacation. They tasted Palestine's traditional food made by his mother and listened Israel's original music together. As the result, tourist's relationship that made because of this trip has still existed in these days. In conclusion, he said that tourism which has direct interaction with local inhabitants can build peace worldwide.

Writing Feedback / The kids are alright - if you leave them alone [3]

From two western parenting books: The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gopnik and The End of American Childhood by Paula Fass.

Both of the books reveal how parenting has shifted over the 20th century. In this present era, Western parents have made a lot of rules given a dozen of advice for their children. As the result, it has made a number of children get stressful.

Gopnik wrote that parents just like a gardener who provides a fertile soil and looks after their plants naturally. Parents, therefore, should care to their children proportionally in order that they can fully develop their talents or ambitions.

Whereas, Fass told that in the past, parenting just had a simple goal that thought to be able to survive. For instance, American Children were more independent because they worked and help their family also experienced slavery in the Civil War II.

newscientist.com/article/mg23130874-500-the-kids-are-alright-if-you-leave-them-alone/

Writing Feedback / The graph below shows how much money a city council gave to the book clubs over a four-year period [3]

The given line graph illustrate amount of money donated by city council to book clubs in past four years. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that there was a fluctuation contribution from city parliament to the book associations while it provides an upward trend for a number of book club members over the period.

At the beginning of the period, city congress donated £20,000 to these associations. Then, it increased steadily of £25,000 in the second year. This particular upward trend continued for the following year and it reached a peaked at £40,000. However, in the end of the period, council donations to the book clubs decreased suddenly to just over £5,000.

On the other hand, book club members experienced an upward trend until end of the period although there was a slight decrease in the first two-years period but it dramatically went up to 10000 members in the third years. However, it reached a peaked at 12000 people in the fourth year.

In conclusion, there was no significant relation between how much the city charity that given and the number of book club members at the end of the period.

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Writing Feedback / Tourism brings negative effects on local cultures like moral degradation and ecosystem destruction [4]

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourist do to reduce the harmful effect of tourism on local cultures and environments?

In the recent era, tourism has become a global industry where there are a lot of companies provide amount of access to travel abroad. However, this phenomenon has brought some negative effects on local cultures such as moral degradation and ecosystem destruction.

When foreign people visit some places they might face cultural interaction. However, local cultures may get more influence from all newcomers because they have closely interacted with them for long term. It should demolish the local tradition gradually and as the result, local society may lose their traditional identity.

Another problem is that tourism in many new tourist destination destroy local environment. Most of the holidaymakers only think about their vacation and how they can enjoy it. For instance, when some people go to a beach or a mountain they bring a lot of things including food and water but they leave the place without saving their rubbish. As the result, the more immense the tourists come, the more horrible trash produce. Hence, it destroys the local ecosystem dramatically. For example, there are serious environment problems in Komodo Island, Indonesia. It has been caused by the increase of the tourism. In my opinion, tourists should care more about local environment where they come. I have visited one of the cleanest beaches in Indonesia, it is Gatra beach. There, all of the visitors have to bring their rubbish when they leave .

In conclusion, people are easier to make a holiday over the sea but they have to be responsible and preserve to both local tradition and environment because those things are very unique world's civilization.

Writing Feedback / Two different methods to collect water for puring irrigation channels [4]

The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The presented diagrams illustrate how to collect water for irrigating farmland by two different ways. These methods take the water from ground but the first one needs labour intensive while another method is done by animal.\

Firstly, method named swing basket is used to collect water from 1- 2 metres depth under the ground. It consists of a basket made of bamboo or leather and tied ropes. This method is very simple because it only needs two persons who lift the basket contained water up to the hill and swing it to the irrigation channels.

Other method is rope and bucket. It is designed with pulley system in order to collect water from 50 metres depth under the ground. Furthermore, this method use a bucket connected to the system and a cow that pull the bucket downhill. Then, water will pour the irrigation channels and flow to the farmland.

In conclusion, those methods are really useful technique to accommodate water supplies to the farmland. It use different kind of power source to collect water from different depth of water under ground.

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Writing Feedback / What is the most reasonable choice: to build impressive buildings or improving schools and hospitals [2]

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most citizens think that government should construct some sophisticated buildings. While others say that refining education facilities and health care in more important. However, in my view I believe that city council should provide not only wonderful buildings but also credible schools and hospitals.

Spectacular buildings might be the most attractive city landmark because a great number of people from around the world want to come and see them. For example, every year tourists come to Paris, Italy, Thailand or Indonesia to witness the wonderful architecture in those countries. Therefore, attractive buildings could contribute a numerous income for a city. In addition, constructing sophisticated buildings serve entertainment places for city dwellers because it could make them happy to see while they are commuting from home to office. Also it can be cheaper place to visit when they have free time.

On the other hand, education and health facilities are significantly important for developing quality of life. In many part of the world, developed countries have credible quality of education and health. Undoubtedly, improving quality and quantity of schools and hospitals should provide qualified human resources in order to increase prosperity for the city and the country.

In conclusion, both designing impressive buildings and advance public facilities are essential for cities in order to accommodate diverse dweller's necessaries including entertainment, enjoyment, and health care. Moreover, it helps government to receive more income from tourism.

Writing Feedback / Some benefits of watching TV like info on tourist destinations, the variety of world culinary, etc. [2]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programs and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programs and films about it? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own experience.

Most people assume that they can know about other countries only by watching them in television programs. While others think that they have to come to another country to learn much about its culture, local inhabitants and its environment. In my view there should be an important aspect that lose when someone only stay at home and watch rather than others who come and visit the real objects such as ways to appreciate other traditions.

Most television programs that present information about other countries give the audience some benefits like telling about tourist destinations, and introducing its original food. For example, My Trip My Adventure also Fish and Chef are two television programs in Indonesia that show many tourist destinations and Indonesian culinary. Instead of revealing all aspects in Indonesia, it may shows only few good aspects like the spectacular scenery, and delicious food. However, the real live aspects of the country have never been served indeed.

As the opposite, people who really come into a country could explore its real live atmosphere. For instance, I have visited a little village in my neighbor country. There is amazing scenery there because it is a place surrounded by some hills. It has fresh air and friendly inhabitants. I lived in one of the local house there. It was a memorable experience because I can directly interact with local culture, feel the different atmosphere and eat their original food although I actually did not enjoy the food. This journey was taught how to build relationship with other community and how to appreciate their tradition.

In conclusion, television programs may inform you knowledge about other country but you have to come to witness the real experience and really learn how other traditions are. However, if you could not go to another country to learn about other tradition, you may able to visit another city in your country in order to get new experiments.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: hydroelectric dam and wave-air generator generate electricity from renewable resources [2]

The diagram below show two methods of using water to produce electricity.

The provided diagrams illustrate how two methods produce electricity. They are hydroelectric dam and wave-air generator. The differences of those methods are its power resource and its mechanism to produce electricity. Hydroelectric dam use water from reservoir to rotate its turbine while wave-air generator's resource comes from waves.

The first method is hydroelectric dam consisted of a gate with width and an angle of penstock speed water up, a turbine and a spindle, and an electricity distributor. The gate which is directly connected with reservoir opens and closes to let in water. Then, width and angle of penstock increases the water speed into the turbine and spindle in order to rotate the generator and produce electric power. After that, electricity is distributed to power lines. Finally, water is released into river.

Another method is wave-air generator that is use wave as source of energy production. This device is stood by a lower chamber, a turbine and spindle, a generator, also an upper chamber. This method is begun when waves enter the lower chamber. Then it flows up to the upper chamber where the spindle rotates the generator to produces electric power. When this process happens, a part of air rises and turns turbine and spindle while other is released from the upper chamber.

In conclusion, both of hydroelectric dam and wave-air generator generate electricity from renewable resources. They work in different mechanism depended on kind of their power resources in which hydroelectric dam use water from reservoir whereas wave-air generator use wave power.

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Writing Feedback / Most people assume nowadays that living in a tower block has less community spirit. [2]

Ielts writing task 2

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have much better sense of community than those who lives in houses. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most people assume that living in a tower block has less community spirit. Whereas, others believe that it is a better way to have sense of community. However, in the present day dwellers prefer to live in block because of some reasons instead of focusing on community spirit. One of those reasons is that it promises better sense of community.

In the recent decade, apartment tower has increased significantly. It is because of high demand of living place. However, a group of people presume that it is less benefit because there is no intensive social interaction there. For example, inhabitants who live in residential tower have fewer places to gather with neighbors even to make some chit-chat. They are busy with their own business and careless about their community. Hence, they become unfriendly with each other.

However, there are other reasons for choosing apartment block as a good place for living. It preserves individual privacy. Urban community has much pressure in their jobs that sometimes make them stressful. It should be perfect for them to spend their free time to take a rest. People who live in tower block may have high tolerant to each other because they understand that each person need enough time to recover their energy. As the result tower block's residents could have better psychology.

In conclusion, tower block is a need for living in a city centre in these days. In my opinion, people who live in apartment block could not feel lonely because they have their own routine activities. They should be more enjoyable in an environment that preserve their privacy.

Writing Feedback / Life in foreign countries brings a lot of difficulties. [4]

WRITING IELTS TASK 1: Problems people have when live in other countries

The provided bar chart reveals three kind of difficulties that are faced by foreign inhabitants staying abroad. Overall, it can be seen that people in the middle age experienced the highest percentage of the problem rate among three aspects namely finance, healthcare and way to find schools for their children.

About 36 per cent of persons aged 35-54-years-old had the most crucial problem in economics. Another problem was about health services that account for 35 per cent foreign residents in middle age felt awful in this situation. In addition, this age group had trouble to find schools for their kids.

As an opposite, individuals aged over 55 years old are the group that had the least obstacles. They made under 30 per cent financial difficulties and only small number under 5 per cent trouble to find academy that giving education for their sons and daughters. It was significantly difference problems between adult and elderly people.

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Writing Feedback / Before I die i want to.... (doing what you want) [4]

TED summary

Chandy Chang is one who cares about sharing in public spaces. She used simple method such as sticker, pencil, and chalk. She has conducted project that ask some question to society in the public spaces. For example she asked about how much my neighbour paid for flat, how we can share our memory and how we can share our care to others. Unfortunately, her mother suddenly passed away. She was shocked and could not believe it for a moment, but she struggled to preserve her passion. She thought a lot about death and the she changed her exterior wall of her house into a huge blackboard where everyone can write his desire before he died because it is a large board with fill the blank question, before I die I want to...

Citizens who live around her location wrote entirely in the chalkboard. Unexpectedly, it has improved her live now because what public people wrote down in this writing board has given her some enjoyable and amount of hope.