Writing Feedback / Working as volunteers should be taken into consideration for children - WRITING TASK 2 [4]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today's issue is taking a part in community service as volunteers. Obviously, this concern is proliferating and gaining fame among secondary school students. However, the impact of this activity has come under scrutiny and has been concern for many people. While it is unacceptable since this activity will disturb their time to study, it is argued that through community service, learners will improve their social aptitude and prepare them to obtain interesting job through developing team building skill.

What is required for high school learners to evolve their social skill is participating in unpaid community service. With this concern, this activity can give the students a taste of discussing with another member to sharpen their skill. William James Halley Park, an educational expert, argued that unpaid community service should be a mandatory sphere in secondary school. This result was that students will boost their confidence to interact with other people, with having bravery to speak up in the public. All in all, it is argued that such this activity is pivotal factor to burgeon their self-development.

Inevitably, headhunter will take experience regarding volunteers in unpaid community service into account to hire potential skilled employees. The reason is perfectly plain that the experience had the potential workers will give the company the edge. A 2015 Conventry University study revealed that people who participated in such community service would have valuable work in comparison with them who did not take a part in this activity. In consequence, this activity had advantages over the learners engaging in this project. Hence, it is clear for the purpose of getting suitable job, working as volunteer in unpaid community service is an enormously crucial instrument.

In conclusion, I do really believe that this activity will give the merits to high school students. In any case, this activity can sharpen their aptitude to communication with each other and gaining better job. Where possible, this activity should be a mandatory subject in the school.

Writing Feedback / Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles in three different areas - WRITING TASK 1 [3]

Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles

A breakdown of the information regarding globally trading of hybrid transportation in three different areas, a period of 4 years, started in 2006 is depicted in the bar chart. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that all of the figures had an upward trend. In any case, America tended to be the highest sales every period, except in the last period.

Initially, the figure for selling fleets using both fuel and electricity in America stood at 250,000 sales. Having a gap of around 200,000 units, Japan' sales were higher than rest of figures, at roughly 50,000 sales. While both the proportion of Japan and other were a slightly increase in 2007, at 60,000 and 70,000 respectively, the figure for America was an enormously jump into 350,000 sales, breaking the record as the highest one.

Turning to another year where the survey conducted, in 2009, trading hybrid vehicles in America was 320,000 sales, considerably ahead of Japan (90,000) and other (110,000). Eventually, the biggest rise was seen in the Japan, by 280,000 units. However, apart from increasing in each year, the number of hybrid trading in America dropped into 280,000 units.

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Writing Feedback / The length of phone calls in the United Kingdom - WRITING TASK 1 [2]

A breakdown of the information regarding how many total minutes of telephone calls in Britain consisting of three different types, a period of 8 years, started in 1995 and measured in billions is depicted in the line graphs. Overall, it can be seen that local - fixed line broke the record as the highest one over the period whereas a converse appeared to be true in other figures.

A more detailed look in the graph, the number of minutes spent on local calls was a slight oscillation over the period, with standing at 75 billion, initially. This was by far followed by fixed line in the case of national and international calls, around 43 billion minutes. Having a gap by around 41 billion, the figure for national and international calls was higher than mobiles calls.

Apart from peaking at roughly 90 minutes billion in 1999, the figure for local calls plummeted to over 70 billion minutes in 2002. However, rest of categories had an upward trend until the end of period. Eventually, the proportion of national and international calls was approximately 62 minutes, still considerably ahead of mobiles calls with 43 billion. In any case, the figures for mobile and local calls performed a narrow down.

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Writing Feedback / IS IT ACCEPTABLE FOR CHILDREN TO LEARN FOREIGN LANGUAGE AT PRIMARY SCHOOL? WRITING TASK 2 [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

A foreign language plays an enormously important role in children's development. Obviously, this concern is proliferating and gaining fame among pupils. However, the impact of this trend has become under scrutiny and has been concern for many people. Although learning foreign linguistics for children is unacceptable since it will give negative impact on their development, others said that it is brilliant idea for children to broaden much more horizon regarding global culture through other languages.

Needless to say, children may not realize that this activity has a negative repercussion for them when they study varied language background at elementary school. This is because they may get confused regarding this sphere, and this impacts their development. William James Marco Pollo, an educational consultant, believed that this activity has its significant drawback for bilingual children when it comes to learn other languages at early stage. This result was children who took foreign language had a lack of fluency to communication, thus, they would talk more slowly in comparison with pupils who just understand their mother language. All in all, it is argued that focusing on learning second language at primary school will give drawback in terms of child development.

As a matter of fact, there is counter-argument against prior statement. Learning second language is pivotal activity that should be taken for pupils into consideration. Due to this activity, children are prepared for obtaining plenty of knowledge in the case of world heritage sites. A 2015 Hiroshima University study supported this. The experts conducted research with a random sample drawn from 200 Japanese secondary-school students that learned English language since at primary school. Astonishingly, 67% of students who learnt bilingual language had considerably more knowledgeable regarding international culture through language than children who just learn native language. Hence, what delights in this activity is learning foreign language since the first stage is necessary for the pupils.

In conclusion, albeit studying foreign language will ruin their development, the merits of this activity are more than the negative. Where possibly, learning foreign language should be considered to become mandatory sphere at primary school.

Writing Feedback / The alteration of an island; new vehicle track and footpath to connect the western and eastern areas [6]

island alterations

The maps reveal that the alteration of an island with evolving some tourists facilities. It is important to bear in mind that the resort management build some accommodations and roads in this island, roughly 250 metres in length.

A more detailed look in the maps, before developing plenty of leisure facilities, this island is just covered with a few trees with beach in the west. As time goes on, the information center is built in the center of this area. It is by far followed by evolving food court in northern of the reception. The visitors can also make use of vehicle track to reach of the information center or restaurant after arrived at the pier, in the southern of reception. What's more, there are two areas of accommodation, situated to the center of the island and in the west nearby beach. Apart paving the vehicle track, the tourism management also develop footpath to connect the western and eastern residential areas for drawing the visitors to the beach.

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Writing Feedback / Artificial gills enabling human to breath under the water. [2]

Needless to say, organisms use their own characteristic to take a breath such as mammals use their lung for helping them to draw in breathe while fish use gills for this activity. It is inevitably that most of people dream of swimming under the water without any hardship. They are passionate about the newest emerged technology that is able to extract the oxygen become some tools in order to people receive the oxygen consumption. In the bygone era, some researchers would predict that in the immediate future, people can dwell in the water without any harm. After many times, the scientists in collaborate with inventors made an advanced in technology to evolve this idea. Astonishingly, the result of their experiment came up with insect can live in the water for the long run with using bubble of air via the tiny tubes. By looking this animal adaptations, dwelling in the water for people become a common desire for most of people in the whole world.

Writing Feedback / Nanotechnology brings an immense important role [4]

Needless to say, nanotechnology brings an enormous important role in this present time. Astonishingly, this carries a huge implication in terms of field engineering. Thanks to this advancement technology, the crucial breakthrough contributes in transportation' issue since this tiny unbreakable form helps the engineers to build a novel spacecraft become the strongest one. It is followed in computer industry to create new generation of the novel innovation related to the size. In any case, it will also give revolutionary innovation in electric power.

Writing Feedback / McDonalds takes part in novel technology. [3]

The most modern breakthrough tends to be a simple technology. Astonishingly, McDonalds, the fast food company, will engage in improving its system to become more advanced technology. The reason why is perfectly plain that this business wants to compete for drawing customer to purchase its product instead of taking other items into consideration. As a result, roughly 500 companies in the United States also make advanced in their innovation to garner more attention from prospective buyers so as to generate revenue from them.

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Writing Feedback / INDONESIA COLLABORATED WITH OTHER COUNTRIES IN TERMS OF MARITIME SECTOR [2]

The government of Indonesia in collaborate with more than 30 companies from Norway and Denmark started to discuss regarding commercial business, specially in maritime sector. The idea of establishing cooperation with several companies in the other nations can become a brilliant idea to strengthen Indonesia' maritime powers. Susi Pudjiastuti, Maritime Affairs and Fisheries Minister, said that these countries were perfect to become partnership as they also taok maritime traditions into consideration such as a question of all integrated water transportation and fish farming business. Astonishingly, along with the development of maritime sector in Indonesia, Eric Hansen, an expert of Odense Maritime Technology, promised that he will make a contribution to share knowledge with Indonesian ship operators.

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Writing Feedback / A MARVELOUS UNDERGROUND BUILDING - environmentally friendly structure for people [2]

Needless to say, I would to tell what I heard before regarding contemporary experimental design for building. As a matter of fact, the owner of this underground building is a professional instead of architecture. The purpose of this building is to create structure that environmentally friendly for people in the immediate surroundings. Based on the owner' experience, he is less likely to dwell in urban area, thus, he decides to build this extremely marvelous installation using double layer strong glass to catch energy from the sun in the rural area. What interesting from this building is that using plenty of window and mirror to have enough light. Subsequently, this building also can reduce carbon dioxide which is perilous to occupants.

Writing Feedback / Franchise plays an enormous role in Indonesia [5]

Nowadays, franchise plays an enormous role in Indonesia. This is because this activity can offer the benefit of employment opportunities and local products. Subsequently, this results in strengthening economy in this nation. Taking Baba Rafi as an example, at this present time, it has successfully built their business up to 1,200 outlets. Can you imagine how many workers that they hired?. This aforementioned evidence reveals that Indonesia has an considerably potential to evolve their franchise business due to the vast size area in Indonesia. An Indonesia Franchise Association study revealed that there were more than 500 franchise businesses. Astonishingly, this was followed by 24,400 branches of this business industry.

Writing Feedback / MAKING CHOCOLATE; ten steps process with the pods for raw-chocolate and factory for final production [5]

The diagram shows the process of how to make chocolate. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the total of stages is ten steps included the pods which are taken for raw-chocolate production and the factory which creates for final-chocolate production.

To begin, the cocoa is taken from the cacao tree with choosing the cocoa ripe and pods which is grown in South America, Africa, and also Indonesia. Before the beans is fermented, the pods are harvested and the white cocoa beans are grabbed from its place. Afterwards, the fermented beans is laid in the huge tray under the sunshine. Following several times, the cocoa are placed in the sack and ready to be delivered to several factories with a lorry.

After in the second-hand production, the beans are roasted at a temperature of 350 degrees. Subsequently, the beans are crushed and separated from the outer shell. In the end of this stage, the final process is seen to produce chocolate from the inner part pressed.

Writing Feedback / Cement production with combining all of the materials and how it is used for the building purposes [4]

IELTS PART 1- CEMENT PROCESS

The diagram illustrates how to produce cement with combining all of the materials and how this cement needed in for the building purposes. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the process to product cement needs some complex processes and the concentrate production combines four different materials.

To begin with, the first diagram reveals that, the clay and limestone are rushed before the powder, the result of first step, passed through a mixer. Next, the produced power passed through rotating heater. Before producing a raw cement materials, the powder has already heated passed on a grinder machine to become raw cement. Ultimately, the cement is packed and ready to be delivered.

The second diagram shows how much the materials needed for producing a concentrate. First of all, it is needed a cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and plenty of small stones (50%). Next, all of the materials are mixed in a concentrate mixer machine. By the time, the machine rotates to overwhelmingly combine all of the materials to create a concentrate for building construction.

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Writing Feedback / TASK PART 1 - THE PROCESS OF PRECIPITATION [4]

The diagram illustrates the process of precipitation happened the surface of the earth and the topsoil. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the cycle of rainfall needs several steps before storing in the sea.

To begin with, because of the sun, the water in the sea, lakes and rivers evaporates and rises into the air, called water vapor. When it comes to the sky, the wind blows water vapor cools with turning back into clouds. Subsequently, the wind carries out the cloud to the higher hallway. As a result, the water on the cloud droplet with combining increasingly large granules after several times.

After the water drops into the earth, most the water is absorbed by the soil in the layer of the earth. More broadly, the water turns into sea through river, lakes and seas. For all intents and purposes, the water stored in the sea and it is ready to evaporate again.

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Writing Feedback / The illustration depicts the frog's metamorphosis dividing into six different phases. [2]

IELTS PART 1 - The life cycle of frog

The diagram presents the frog's metamorphosis which is a breakdown into six different phases. It is important to bear in mind that the phases of the frog' live is enormously different from eggs to the adult frog.

To begin with, the first process initiates when the female frogs lays their eggs on the surface of the lake. Afterwards, the frogspawns grows into tadpole which is the embryo with a tiny body and a long tail. The next development stage is that front legs appear to be true in the tadpole. After taking many times, the long-tail embryo have a pulmonary breathing to help them to respire in out of the water and the two legs in the back of frogs was grown.

Then the tadpole frog grows become adult frog with changing in their tails getting shorter. In addition, the adult frog become much bigger than the previous one. More broadly, in this phase, the adult frog become strong enough to live in the land.

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