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Posts by eve01
Name: Eve
Joined: Sep 13, 2016
Last Post: Nov 11, 2016
Threads: 24
Posts: 40  
Likes: 5
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

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eve01   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007 [2]

Question:
The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007

Answer
A breakdown of the information about the optimum rate of Asian elephants had been changed in ASEAN countries started in 1997. Overall, it can be seen that the number of elephants was decreased similarly in the latter period except Laos and Cambodia while India broke the record as the highest one declining.

Initially, the highest one proportion of elephants was showed in the line of India. This record was followed by Thailand and Malaysia with roughly by 2000 elephants in 2004. Surprisingly, Cambodia was less increased changing by 100 elephants while Laos was stabled steadily in 1994 and 2004.

Eventually, the lowest one proportion of elephants was appeared in the line of Vietnam in 2004. This trend was followed by China and Myanmar approximately by 450-500 elephants. In additional, the other ASEAN countries that had narrowed rate of changing were Sri Langka and Vietnam in the latter year.




eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 : MUSIC LINKS LISTENERS [2]

QUESTION:
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

ANSWER:

A breakdown of the information about the proportion of two different types of music links on the website, over the last fifteen days is appeared in the line chart. Overall, it is can be seen that the number of both music links was increased. In additional the pop parade was reached a peak in the last day.

Initially, visitors are more likely listening to pop parade with by far 120 guests while the other one is only a quarter as much. The former's level narrows a gap with the latter's proportion. This is followed by a remarkable upward trend by music choice in the eleventh days.

Eventually, the visitors who like to listen pop parade fallen down gradually close to 90 guests yet it is reached a peak roughly in 180 guests. Nevertheless the music choice listeners rose in the followed day yet it was fell down in the last day.




eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / CANADIANS SCHOLARS from a third level of education in Canada - the rising trend [2]

QUESTION:
The graph below shows the number of university graduates of university in Canada from 1992 to 2007

ANSWER:

The graph illustrates an overview about the number of graduated scholars from a third level of education in Canada, over the last fifteen years. Overall, the both sex learners who graduated in the first two-years were declined slightly. However the female students reached a peak over the last five years.

Initially, the female proportion broke the record as the highest one. This was followed by male level with roughly 70,000. By the next year the quantities of females were decreased slowly in 100,000 within three years and increased steadily by 1,000 graduates in 2000 while the proportion of male was decreased and increased gradually within six years.

Eventually, the largest number of Canadian learners who were graduated from the third level of education was females. Between 2000 and 2006 males were increased approximately by 25,000 of graduates yet the Canadian females were climbed to reach a peak by 45,000 graduates.




eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The university should not discriminate people based on gender, religion, culture, etc. [4]

Hello festivo, here is my correction for your essay

>>you write very clearly but it is showed you wrote additional issues (religion and culture) which is not related to the question

it is undeniable that make a balance quantities of man and women in every school subject . For a person to be intellectually capable, university ...
The universitythird level of education should not discriminate people based on their gender , religion, culture and so on ......
The question here arises that should there be equal number of man and woman ...(you rewrite the question here, the question should be paraphrase in the beginning of introduction )

In my opinion, suchthe type of obligation is (...) of the following reasons. ( please write the following reasons that you mention)

Firstly, the university mightn't'might not have any kind ...

keep writing, do not hesitate to correct mine too :)
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / A mentor as a shortcut to success? [2]

Hi masacerah
here is my notes for you

" Everyone wants to have a happy life and ..."You should put (") on this sentence because you took from tai Lopez.

They saysaid , supposing mentor is ...

On one occasion in TEDxUBIWiltz , Tai Lopez is a certified ...that's better if you share his name in the first paragraph than u put in middle or in body story, bad organize.

In retrospect, the relationship between them so far ...this sentence jumps

This your next sentences also, this made readers difficult to understand what you want to share,

Call itThey are Einstein, (...), and many other great mentorS .
Both books they writewrote , or also biography. That is, we must have a lot of mentors andThe point is we could learn from them.

Not only jump of your sentence but you are also missing of your contents here.
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing - People Never Understand the Culture of A Country unless They Speak the Language [3]

hi Ucha
here is my notes

Actually you have so many wrong for writing, but this is still learning, that would be fine, however practice makes perfect, so do I.

May I give you suggestion for introduction, I would share my idea for you:

Language is not only about communication but also for feeling each other. As long as we can speak foreign language that is like we could not understand what they feel eventually. I would agree with this perspective because that makes sense for human being.

then you can explain more detail with the functions of communication in other languages or the benefits of those, put on paragraph two and three.

however you need to revise your writing to get better, you need to understand firstly what is the idea will you catch it. look at the examples of writing IELTS, those would help you more to get lots idea.

hope it helps :)
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary - How to Build Good Life [5]

hi ucha
here is my notes for you

I like your article anyway because I've ever seen this video, and I love it. I would concern on third paragraph, I think you are missing the contents, you only explained 'read'. but you forgot two others kinds of them, about tutor and media. those related with it also. you can describe like you tell about the functions of reading anymore.

... read one book a week.It is noticeable that everybody wants a good life, but not everybody is willing to read to get it.---> your statement jumps after u wrote "How quickly we read, how many pages, and how many days are not required, but it is better to read one book a week." I mean you need more detail why this happens ?before come to the 'good life' . The point is you didn't put the reasons (why) but directly the negative result. Perhaps you can convey your writing with cause-effect, it would be appropriate.

hope it helps :)
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY ARTICLE: DONALD TRUMP WINNER THE PRESIDENT OF USA [2]

According to the article, Trump tore through the Rust Belt states, such as Iowa, Ohio and Wisconsin, turning red a swath of states that had not voted for a Republican presidential nominee in decades including Pennsylvania, which was last voted Republican in 1988, and Wisconsin, which had been blue since 1984. Furthermore, Clinton fared worse than Obama in almost each voter group. In Philadelphia, where Clinton held a massive rally on November 7th, at which her husband Bill stayed, Obama and his wife Michelle, and Bruce Springsteen all performed, she won 46,000 fewer votes than Obama had in 2012. it can be seen that Trump hate as they did, many of Obama's voters, it seems, just could not bring themselves to vote for the unexciting and reviled alternative that Clinton presented them with and she ran a lavishly funded and highly professional campaign, using the sophisticated voter identification and mobilisation methods perfected by Obama.

SOURCES: economist
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY TED: THE FEAR OF FAT [2]

Kelli Jean Drinkwater, a TED Speaker, said people who refuse to believe that living in the fat bodies is a barrier to anything. She learned from her experience that fat bodies are inherently political, and unapologetic fat bodies can blow people's minds. Nevertheless She did count of how many times people of all sizes have told her that the show has changed their lives, how it helped them shift their relationship to their own and other people's bodies, and how it made them confront their own bias. She mentioned that she received violent death threats and abuse for daring to make work that centers fat people's bodies and lives and treats us as worthwhile human beings with valuable stories to tell.

sources: ted.com/talks/kelli_jean_drinkwater_enough_with_the_fear_of_fat
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED SUMMARY : 4 WAYS TO BUILD A HUMAN COMPANY IN THE AGE OF MACHINES [4]

Hi Mr.ryan here is my notes for your summary

(it is better to put beginning sentence)according to the article was mentioned
This trend is due to the fact that robot is .... After that( you can change this words to be : Furthermore, meanwhile..etc ) ,....
... it means althoughthat the company thinking...
... it means that not only (...) the workplace, butyet( you can use yet here since you explain about comparison)

hope it helps :)
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED - nine life lessons from rock climbing [5]

hi lincoln here is my notes for your summary

>>use conjunction between sentence to help reader easy to understand what you have written.

..., he revealsED there are 9 values ...
1)Firstly,(try to put a word than number) Fear is a mistake.

2)Secondly , Design your ...
... life is unfair .since Most people (...) hopeless,and they are not ready ...
Meanwhile, Its aim is to have a ...
eve01   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / People have more attention for a look and not what kind a person someone is. Cameron Russell summary [8]

hi dioba here is my correction for your summary

Imagethe cutting-edge technology can transform a human mindset of someone in a second time and sometimes it bringS huge impact in our lifeves .

Cameron Russell, ...... He was awarded by tall, slender figures, femininity and white skin. She also illustratesDthe several difference of photos between her real life (make sure that you know the speaker is man or woman and write by she only or he only)

hope it helps dioba (^.^)
eve01   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The silkworm cycle life starts with the production of eggs, then the larvae come out [2]

Question
The diagrams below shows the life cycle of silkworm and the stage of the production of silk cloths. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.


Answer :

The pictures below describe information about the silkworm life process and the several steps of making silk cloths. Overall, the first diagram is a four stage natural cyclical process starting from the eggs being laid by the mother worm and ending with the cocoon turning to moth. Meanwhile, the other is a man-made linear process beginning with selection and ending with weaving.

The first step of cycle life of silkworm begins with the production of eggs and within 10 days these transform to larva. This is followed by larvae starting to eat mulberry leaves taking time between 28 days to 42 days. In the third step, with around 8 days, the larvae produces thread shells. This finally becomes a moth ready to reproduce eggs.

Turning to another diagram, the second picture tells about the process of production silk cloths which has 5 steps. The first step selects good quality of silk thread from silkworm and putting the thread silk into boil water after that thread are unwind its usually about 300 till 900 meter long. Furthermore, the thread silk are twisted and dyed into pan to give a color. The final step weaves thread silk to create cloths on the woven board.




eve01   
Nov 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Bulgarian citizens who lived outside their country, based on school level [5]

hi anna i have feedback for your essay
>> it is better to write writing task 1 consists of three paragraphs ( introduction with overview, body 1 and body 2)
>> please try to avoid using the number in first paragraph such as( years 2002,2008) using paraphrase to make reader more understand about the topic)
>> please read the question more carefully before starting to write a sentence (such as summarize and compare) it means you should summarize the significant issue and summarize about the trend in the chats

... to move from Bulgaria in 2002, 2006, and 2008 based on three types of education degree over the last seven-years of decade.
... go abroad during three years (i think it was happened within seven years ).

keep writing
(^,^)
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pediatric care centers or relatives? Different views and opinions for this. [3]

Question:

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:


It is generally believed that there are many childcare centers giving best service for keeping children. Some parents say it is the advisable place to care their toddler, whereas other working parents argue that relatives will keep their kids more carefully. Even thought pediatric care centers offer the welcoming atmosphere for children, I am more likely to support that children will be safe and comfortable as long as they stay with people who are closely related to them.

Some parents regard that pediatric care centers are the greatest circumstance to take care toddler while they are working. Furthermore this place will facilitate toddler to learn and play together with others children the same age with them which is handled by professional nurse or caretaker and this clinic also gives free consultant about toddler growth once a week. A recent study carried out by university of Indonesia said about 27% toddler being sociable with other kids, 60% toddler more independently, 13% toddler were shy to communicate with other kids than before. Although childcare centers can control children growth today, I believe this place costs expensive fee.

Turning on this essay other workers parents believe with relatives to keep their toddler as long as working time. The reason for this is not only less cost for expense but also children growing up in close circumstance with fully love. For instance, a recent study by UNICEF organization, found children who stayed with relatives about 65% kids more confident to communicate with other children or people outside circumstance and 35% creative to do homework. I firmly agree with those who keep their children by people are closely related to them as it is more safety and guaranteed to observe children growth

All in all, although some working parents said pediatric care centers are the most adorable places for taking care children, others prepare to keep their toddler to their family member. I definitely agree with this since children will be safety and comfortable with relatives
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Childcare centers have rich facilities, professional teachers, and high level of service [3]

Hi i have feedback for your essay
>>> subject +verb agreement
>>> repetitions some words :)


Most of parents arehave full time to work so thatandtheygetdifficultytoit is difficult for them togive their take care of their children while they are workingattention should be given for them .

This tends to make theirworker parents giveingtheir kids to childcare center which ...

... childcare center gives full facilities

keep writing
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Online games: they decrease children's time to study but also help them to enhance their knowledge. [5]

hi raja I have feedback for your essay

Children playing online games will bring out drawback like children spending ... ( it is better to mention others statements before you write your thesis statement as your background essay)

... when they are playing game online gamesso thatand they are ready to stay inlong time front of computer longer .
... drawbacks for children because their time to study isthey spent much time to playinggame than studying and is less to communicate with their fellow, besides,

keep writing (^,^)
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Online games attract children to spend their leisure time on computer screen [3]

Question:
Some people think that online computer games are useful for children, while others claim are bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?

Answer:

It is commonly believed that online games attract children to spend their leisure time on computer screen. Some people believe this activity is more beneficial for children, whereas other claim it highly unacceptable. Even though, the disadvantages from this habit will spend a lot of money and less time to focus on studying but it will also teach children how to do decision-making and less pressure

It is known that some people regard playing online computer games will consume plenty of time for children. This activity is not only wasting much money but it also spends time which should be used for studying. In additional, letting children playing online games will accustom them to obtrude to get what they want. Obviously, if parents do not follow their willing, they become an isolate person and it will make them have no spirit to study or attend school. It is true that some citizens say online computer games will make children spending a lot of money before they can focus on studying and earn money for financing their life

On the other side, there are some benefits which are brought by online computer games according to others people. Children will know how to decide something related to their future life and also will help to less their stress feeling. Besides that, playing games will keep their mind busy and become more responsibility due to types of games they play such as puzzle games can stimulate their creativity and releasing stress since parents demand them to be perfect kids at home or school. It is often said that online games have some benefits to help kids being more creative to do decision-making and less their gloomy feeling.

Overall, it is needless to say that although, some people believe online games give positive impact for teenagers like less stress feeling and good to decide something, others said it is definitely worse because the drawbacks of this activity are spending much money and less time to prepare school subjects.
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Parents are able to understand their children perfectly, like no one else does. [3]

Hi i have some feedback for you

>>> Introduction ( it is better to paraphrase the question in the background and write your thesis statement)
>>>conclusion ( if you do not have much time to give suggestion then it is better to paraphrase introduction)
>>>subject + verb agreement


Last but not leastlastly , no sooner had a child ...
Furthermore, the father together with theand mother dedicate their life to educateing their children because the offspringplayss a fundamental role in ...(giving an example about this explanation}

In conclusion, I am certainly agree that the parents act an essential part inof education of their offsprings.
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / PROHIBITION SMOKING IN PUBLIC PLACES to create a clean environment, and protect to people's health [4]

Question:
In some countries it is illegal to smoke in public places, it is only fair that people who wish to smoke have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer:


Some countries introduce a rule banning smoking in the public places and those willing to have some smokes should leave the related spot. This essay would completely agree with this statement because this policy would create a clean environment and people are hindered from being contaminated with the dangerous smoke released by burned cigarette.

It is generally believed that government authority has aim to prohibit smokers to burn cigarette in public zones to get fresh air in these circumstances. The reason for this policy is smoking activities will produce smoke everywhere and will pollute air surrounding the public areas which many people always pass this common zone. For example, in 2005, a recent study carried out by Dubai government found that air condition around public places were polluted around 56% in Airport and 78% in convention hall. It is true that this regulation brings positive impact to make inhabitants respire with fresh air.

On the other hand, this policy will also halt citizens who are passive smoking from contaminated by smokers in public places. The reason for this is that will lessen the number of diseases which is infected by smokers to citizens. For instance, a recent survey, carried out by the Japan public health, showed in 2010 about 68% patients breast cancer decreased to 45% since the government issued rule to not allow smokers burn cigarette in public place. It is needless to say that this regulation will increase life expectancy for passive smokers.

To sum up, it is gone without seeing that people who want to burn cigarette have to find smoking areas based on the government regulation because this rule will make a clean circumstance and give benefit for passive smokers. I totally support that the government has to give punishment to smokers who are not following this authority.
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Childcare centers became the option for some parents to serve their child. [2]

Hi dikha i have feedback for your writing
>>subject + verb agreement
>>read about how to put pronoun such as them, their, themselves etc...


... parents to watch their children while they are working . It has an advantage and disadvantage for the parentsthem . The parents must to earn much money to payin the childcare centers to take care for caring thetheir children and they do not be bothered their parents like grandmother in their older age.

... most effective way from the that can be taken by working parents isaregivetaking a caring servicetheforchilderenchildren in childcare centers. Besides, the condition can be useful for their grandparents ... ( give your own suggestion broo)

keep writing broo (^,^)
eve01   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Yes, the money... but another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation. [3]

hi raja i have feedback for your essay
>> subject + verb agreement
>> modal cannot meet to or noun (modal + verb1)


It is true that money is one of reasons(one is singular must meet singular noun)whymaking some employees have motivated to work in one place. Staying in one work place for longtime would affectinfluence(influence is noun cannot meet modal) their career because they would easily to get promotion .....Thus, most people work in one placefor long because of money (give your own opinion :) not repetition others statements

keep writing broooo (^,^)
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / INCREASING SEA LEVELS CAUSED BY GLOBAL WARMING [4]

QUESTION:

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?

ANSWER :

Today, the most serious issue that people face caused global warming is the increase of sea levels. This would lead to the inundation in coastal area and a solution that can overcome this problem is building a dam.

The main problem caused by global warming is the rise of sea levels leading to the inundation in coastal zone. Flood happens as the land nearby the beach is lower than sea level. This catastrophe will cause epidemic diseases such as diarrhea mainly striking children. Also, such disaster will halt human daily routines, causing the weakening economic rate. In 2009, Korea government said that 69% people chose to move to comfort zone while 31% preferred to stay at home as long as flood drowning their homes.

One of solutions which can be taken to cope with the problem is the construction of sea barrier in coastal area. Even though this solution will cost much money, its positive impact can be felt for long term. During 1990, Rotterdam government established Maeslantkering consisting of two huge gates which can open and close automatically to adjust the sea level.

To sum up, the most common problem that people are deal these days is the increasing sea levels caused by global warming. This will cause flood in coastal zone but building flood barriers nearest coastal area will solve this phenomena. Whereas possible, government should provide expense for this project.
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children are permitted to have job in several countries while they are still at school [2]

Question :In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Answer:
Children are permitted to have job in several countries while they are at school. Some people argue it is fully not approved, whereas others believe it is more beneficial for children. Even though children's mental age is not ready to be engaged in paid work, I am more likely to support that they could work while their studying as long as they can balance between work and study to get benefit for their future job

It is often said that some citizens argue it may be serious issue for children to be an employee in paid job due to their mental age. The reason for this is that they might learn and focus on getting certificate showing their appropriate skills in formal school. For instance, Indonesian government issued regulation requiring employees being upper 18-year-old and finishing their high school education. I absolutely claim this opinion as children definitely have a chance to get engaged in this paid work since they are capable and have a will to work while they are studying

However, others regard that children can develop their skills to have job while they are registered as students at school. Today there are various types of paid work which allow children to channel their talents such as being a freelance writer or a tour guide, resulting in the development of skills required for their life. Obviously worker children can compromise with time between working and studying which is proved with their academy achievement higher than children who are not working. I totally believe with those who assume that children can gain new challenge in working since this can help them to be more independent and responsible for their future life

In the final analysis, it has some benefits for teenager to have job while they attend a school as far as they can organize their responsibility as a student. It will help them to get experience for the next future job. Whereas possible, Government and workplaces have to facilitate children who want to work before attend university.
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 :THE WHOLE WORK CONDITION IS CHANGING TODAY [3]

Question:
The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?

Answer :

It is generally believed that the whole work situation is totally changing today compared several years bygone. Workers prefer to take more than one job. Higher living costs are the reason of this case. Therefore, living in economical way is solution which can be taken by workers.

It is often said that the rise of living cost is one of contributing factors inducing the trend. The reason for this is that the salary the employees receive in every month cannot accommodate all basic necessities. A current study carried out in university of New York in 2012 uncovered that 65% of people in Britain decide to take a side job as the expenditure they make in every month is in the soaring rate. By this study, it is true that the increase of cost they spend for living is one of reasons why people are more likely to go part-time.

On the other side, one of possible solutions which can be taken by employees to solve this phenomenon is living in providently way. Workers can economize to buy only necessity stuffs and save money for emergency needed such as children tuition school, medical check-up or holiday fee in year-end. Even thought, some workers argue it is not easy to suddenly change the way of life but in my opinion having one settled job is enough as long as people can manage their financial balance between income and outcome

Overall, the most reason why employees search for another job is higher all basic necessities or accommodation. Moreover, workers can settle this issue by living in economical situation. In my view, workers have to manage their financial to be sufficiency for daily outcome.
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Government regulation to relocate factories and businesses in countryside [3]

Many factories and businesses are encouraged by governments to relocate their buildings in rural areas. Even though, this policy will reduce cost of production, its demerit of polluting environment in the suburban are far outweigh any benefits.

It is generally believed that the relocation of business and industrial center in the outskirt would make the cost production more affordable. This authority will only reduce a few negative effects for urban populations. Furthermore, the factories and business can increase the amount of products suited to lower cost of production but it will add transportation fee. For instance, the distance from suburb to urban areas will have additional cost for distribution products. I firmly claim that this policy can not settle the prior issue as the urban citizens still run into climate change from vehicle emission.

Apart from the aforementioned discussion, when the industry and business are moved to the suburb, environmental problem would be faced by people living there. Besides that, governments in several countries have to consider and survey the factory zone before this authority is issued as it will change land farm infrastructure. For example, agriculture products decreasing, inhabitants lose their primary job since the areas are replaced by factories and businesses also they do not have qualification to work in these workplaces. I fully believe even though there are best offer for training and high salary from both businesses but it is not easy to change their mindset as they are familiar to work in quiet and clean land farming.

To sum up, the government regulations might less production budget of industries if they move their factories place to countryside but it might also damage the land farming areas. Where possible, the government has to issue rules that take a solution having a long-term benefit.
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Reasons of working in the same place: opportunity of being leader and comfortable working atmosphere [2]

WRITING TASK 2: The reason why employees working in the same place within year

The most common reason that motivates employees to keep them working in the same place within years is money. I totally disagree with this statement because opportunity of being leader and comfortable working atmosphere are the reason for this trend.

These days, some workers believe that the leader position will be offered for old and expert employees only. Therefore, for that reason, staying in the similar company for along time will give many chances to lead its workplace. For example, a recent study of university of Auckland carried out from 2009 to 2011 found that about 68% of employees stayed to learn how to be good leader to prepare their next vote as a future director in that company while 32% workers stayed because of money purpose. It is true that the director position motivates employers to keep doing the same job for long-term period.

It is generally believed that other people stay longer in the same company because of the comfortable working experience. This means that what they find in the workplace such as working system and colleges they have makes them feel convenient. Besides, employees also have their own principle WHO supports them to do their best in working. For instance, in Korea, a new survey by government authority showed that approximately 85% workers unchanged their job as they have friendly colleagues and circumstance in office while 25% they need to earn a lot of money for their living cost. It is true that being convenient in work place is the reason for this phenomenon.

To conclude, the motivations why people have job in the same workplace within years are having a chance to be future chief company and pleasant workplace. It is nettles to say that employees definitely have their own-choice to decide where they want to earn money
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - The Best -and worst- places to be a working woman [5]

hi Lincon ^,^

i have feedback for your summary

>>> subject + verb agreement ( to + verb1 withous S)

... that aims to reports the most suitable place ...
Itsthese indicators are

..., Sweden and Finland- lie in top overall.

... woman has chance of equalas treatment as men.

Finland is the highest shareing of education by woman compare with ...

Meanwhile, in Iceland (missing subject, preposition can not be a subject)it has 44% woman ...

keep writing broo (^,^)
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many benefits of taking up a job before starting to attend a university, but also a few drawbacks [8]

hi ryan ^,^
i would like to give some notes for your essay
>>> for + verb+ING and to +verb1

There is anare advantages for directly to going to a university such as ... ( because you mentioned two advantages) .

As athis results in students did not ...

Turning to the benefit of getting a job before studying ,

Consequently, It prepares students for the future job . It is makes (double verb) students more independence because students approximately use their own money and habitual talk withto other people.

... it is pivotalcrucialfor to improve their skills and mental in real life

keep writing broo (^.^)
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Beau Lotto, the TED speaker, began his speech with a game. [7]

hi dioba ^,^

i have feedback for your summary and i hope it helps

Beau Lotto, as the TED speaker, begin his speech with a game.

It is Not only the color of an object, but also the color of their illumination.

The color of the space between ushuman and object also has ...

... color of the light that falls oi nto eyes.

For instance, he gave some example (...), size and he content. Thethis totally difference between both of them isthat there are completely came from completely different sources.

... is meaningless because it is means literally anything.

keep writing ^,^
eve01   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / The advantages caused to humans when the computer was invented. [5]

hi qtraam ^,^
i have feedback for you and i hope it helps

>>> introduction (paraphrase your essay question not copy paste or just changing type of words :))))
>>>in your thesis statement please write clearly (what is many other problems you mean by)
Nowadays, with the development of computers, [...] used it to make their work more efficient . it is witnessed that advance technologies affected human working and routines today than bygone.However, besidesAlthough this invention brings some benefits for human activities, it will also give drawbacks(write thesis statement here) computers have caused unemployment andmany other problems.

All in all, I think the computers bring for us many advantagespositive impacts to human life , in the globalizationthis modern era, without computers, people can not thrive and develop strongly without cutting-edge technology like computer . But, ...
eve01   
Oct 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / How many books have been read at Burnley by men and women? [6]

hi lola ^,^

i would give you some feedback

>>>put picture graph that you explain then readers can understand what you write

>>>over a three-year periodin the period between 2011 and 2014 . (try to paraphrase number or year in overview paragraph )

>>> put coma among number you write such as (24,000 20,000 140,000)

In 2011, fifty thousand (it is better to write with number ) 50,000 books have been read rather than twice time by women was nearly twice as much compared to men, who have read ...

... it was far smaller,(don not put coma between comparative) than the grow ...

>>>At the end of the daychoose transitional word indicating a conclusion such as ( in conclusion, to sum up, all in all etc..) but it is better to put an overview in the first paragraph as conclusion for writing task 1 and write in three paragraph

hope it helps
keep writing lola
eve01   
Oct 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Extremely Dangerous' Hurricane Nicole to Pummel Bermuda [4]

hi dika ^,^
i would like to give you some notes for your summary

>> Subject + verb agreement *Remember ( plural noun + verb 1) and (singular noun + verb+s) (to infinitive + verb1)
>>note your missing verb and double verbs
>>mark your spelling well (write down such as country, nationality, place and people name with capital letter)

Hurricane nicole makes the effect for the b British teritoryterritory of bermuda ....in the northern a Atlantic ocean.

Raining all the days in at school and government offices are warn for people to stay inside.

In the other place among historical buildings in mangrove bay is called a popular spot that many tourists come to booked at Wednesday night. They using a largely boarded

keep writing broo ^,^
eve01   
Oct 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happy partners were significantly more likely to report better health [4]

Belinda Luscombe said that greater people will bring happiness to the one surround their circumstance and they are healthier rather than the gloomy one. Between 2006 and 2012 Michigan State University surveyed among 2,000 adults married normal couples in the Health and Retirement over the last six years has been found that Participants with happy partners were significantly more likely to report better health, experience less physical impairment, and to exercise more frequently than participants with unhappy partners. The writer suggests, there are 3 reason points for a happy person why they could improve the health of their lover. First, a happy spouse is a better caretaker. Secondly, people with a positive outlook are more likely to eat better, exercise, sleep regularly, avoiding doing self-destructive things And thirdly, happy partners bring life easier for their lovers because their lovers are not stressed. And this research adjusted for gender, wealth and educational attainment but there was no difference in these outcomes between husbands and wives. The study surveyed four health indices: self-reported health, physical impairment, exercise and chronic conditions but the chronic conditions were the only thing that could not improve a cheerful life partner

Source : time
eve01   
Sep 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The future of early cancer detections - Jorge Soto (Summary of TED) [4]

hi ifan ^^
your summary it looks good but let me give you some notes

>> it is better to start your summary with introduction sentence >> according to the speaker (mention the name or author),
>>do not miss conjunction between sentence ( and, meanwhile, however, although, because etc...)
>> notes your spelling


>>Complex analysis had been integrated in to sophisticated technology in this of the case molecular case technology, which is Initiated by regretting incident.

By Detecting small molecules called micro- RNA...
eve01   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Which Communication Skills are being necessary in Your Job? [3]

The table below compares the outcome of necessary of communication skills for employees based on two observations, over a ninth-year period. At a glance, it shows that external communication has the most essential talent which affects employees to deal with all part of work aspects. Meanwhile, being a good listener to other worker can assist for a particular of internal skills.

Turning on, the percentage by two surveys for external communication skills between 1997 and 2006 rose slightly by 5 % for dealing with people, 6 % for experience services or products and 3% for caring for customers, and the only one ability for making deal just for selling a product or service fell slightly by 2 %. To compare, between internal skills and external skills, the highest percentage is showed by dealing with customers.

On the other side, the percentage showed by the survey for internal communication abilities between 1997 and 2006 increased steadily by 1% for planning the activities of others, 4 % for making speeches or presentations, 5 % for training people and influencing others, 6 % for analyzing problems together with others, and 9 % for being good listener with other employees which is also being the most largest percentage in internal skills.




eve01   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table gives information about the outcome of two observation between 1997 and 2006 [6]

hello ryan ^.^
your essay good enough but i would like to give some notes for your essay

... the outcome of two observationsbetween 1997 and 2006. {you can put another choice without shown years or numbers in introduction >> over a ninth-year period

After that , { you can use other conjunction such as Meanwhile, while or furthermore etc.. } listening to partnerships carefully ...

keep writing ^.^
eve01   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Alaa Murabit, a young Muslim woman, highlights her experiences and participates in peace processes [5]

hi pandai ^^
i would like to note you some advises
hope it works

>> you can start a summary with introduction sentence such as >>> according to....(author last name)[.,. According to "Title of the Article" (year) etc..]

>>It gives her the strength and conviction to do her work every day everyday
.

>> She thought that it would lead to cultural and social change. Inbetween 2012 and 2013or you can use { from.... to....} , her organization led the single largest ...

She entered homes,and schools,and universities, evenand mosques.

>>She discussed about taboo issues,

hope it works ^.^
keep writing

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