Writing Feedback / The table informs the figure of scholars who attend Secondary school [2]

IELTS writing task 1: Secondary School Attendance

The table informs the figure of scholars who attend Secondary school in different four types during one decade from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it is noticeable that community school is the one which increased dramatically among all of school categories that had tendencies to go down or just stagnant.

Community schools stood up at 12% as the lowest starting point. Afterwards, the proportion doubled in the middle of the decade and then these schools ended at the highest point in a half per cent. In contrast, Specialist Schools which had a same number as community schools in the beginning gradually decreased along the years and closed at one in ten.

Apart from the previous comparison, Grammar Schools and voluntary-controlled Schools seemed down gradually where the bigger decline was Voluntary-controlled Schools at 20% in the 2009 that was almost twice lower than the beginning point. Afterwards, Grammar School noted a gradual downward trend above ten per cent from 24% in 2000 to 20% in the closing year.

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Writing Feedback / The comparison of water usage from several sectors in many different regions [NEW]

The pie charts show the comparison of water usage from several sectors in many different regions including San Diego, California, and other parts of the world. Overall, it seems clearly that high-development counties such as San Diego and California consume a great deal of water for residential purposes while the rest of counties mostly used it for agricultural functions.

Lofty use of household sector was in the San Diego three-fifth of the percentage followed by California used 39. Furthermore, agricultural resources depleted just seventeen per cent which was just around one in ten from California. At last, the remainder usage is for industry that only represented 23% and 33% in sequence for San Diego and California.

As the lowest utilisation of water in residential sector, the rest of the world showed merely 8 per cent. However, global regions consumed water for industry in the same point as San Diego County and agricultural sectors noticed the greatest used of water at 69 % from both San Diego and California.

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Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary; Sandra Aamodt: Why dieting doesn't usually work [2]

Many have tried various kinds of diets but the weight they have lost always comes back. If you want to get your perfect body weight, started from now, you should give up dieting, stop worrying about your weight and eat mindfully.

Hypothalamus, the part of the body which regulates body weight provides system working to keep your weight stable as the condition changed. Therefore, It will respond to the weight loss to push your body back to what It is considered normal which means when you are fat or thin, your brain still react exactly the same to gain the normal weight. This system is called 'set point' and a successful dieting doesn't lower your set point.

To get a perfect body weight, you should do mindful eating. Give yourself permission to eat as much as you want, and then work on figuring out what makes your body feel good. Sit down to regular meals without distractions. Think about how your body feels when you start to eat and when you stop, and let your hunger decide when you should be done.

Writing Feedback / Google's Got a Plan to Unify the World's Wi-Fi Hotspots [3]

Public Wi-Fi sometimes infuriates the users when it has a sudden lag even in the huge scale of any business places. According to this basis, Google attempts to get rid of the problems through establishing Internet service providers and hardware companies.

The technology of this new enterprise will ease the users as the system is independent on preconfiguration WiFi routers. Hence, users access the Internet using a single username and password without asking to the waiter in the restaurant anymore.

Following that, google has offered Internet connection facilitated through high-speed Google Fiber. Moreover, google has strive to alter New York City payphones with internet kiosk and undertaken the project with India whose state-owned rail system has been offered with Wi-Fi stations nationwide.

Google has prepared for this expansion at its best. Therefore, the company will seriously propose the Internet to public places all over the world.

wired.com/2016/09/google-station/

Writing Feedback / About thirty per cent of travellers each year choose learning programs to be their holiday purposes. [2]

A new fashion of travelling which has become common for all layer of age is a trip that enjoy a different kind of travel: learning vacations. According to surveys, about thirty per cent of travellers each year choose learning programs to be their holiday purposes.

This program includes, first, honing ability in the artistic endeavours with professional trainer supervising the tourists. Secondly, travellers can attempt to acquire the material of traditional cuisine from the myriad cultures. Next, travellers who go to Britain, they can enrol in courses at residential colleges that contain activities from intellectual to the performance such as photography and dancing.

These are just a few example of the many types of learning vacation. This program must be more economical than the conventional vacations. Moreover, it will be really useful to enhance travellers' ability rather than just have fun in the traditional vacation.

Writing Feedback / TED summary: Steve Howard; Let's go all-in on selling sustainability [3]

We are now building cities, bringing people out of the poverty, and changing climate as we understand that sustainability is from a nice-to-do to the a must-do. Every business should have positive impacts to the world.

Firstly, a vast majority of people have cared about sustainable issues in the easy, affordable and attractive which it is relied on the company. From this basis, company and buyer can cooperate to create and consume the viable innovation products.

The next swing raw materials which are based on recycle products must be used as our resources and then business people are independent on natural raw material which will reach the zero waste targets.

The operations, furthermore, can be altered into natural energy such as solar panel that reduces a great deal of pollution in out ecosystem.
Afterwards, it is about humanity. With no child labour, we apprehend to support better quality of children where we protect the right of children and improve their life. In addition, closing the gap of gender in which women should participate and we open the network for women is a great path to the decent future preventing poverty.

If you are a business leader, you have think about what you should do to bear the sustainability system into your business model. If you are consumer, you must be discerning people who choose the products coming to this way as well. We are able to help create sustainable world

Writing Feedback / The number of export commodities and service from Someland in one decade [2]

The bar chart shows the number of export commodities and service from Someland in one decade including these future predictions. Overall, in all calculated years, the lowest goods exported were meat while the highest percentage was International tourism. However, the dairy products had a slight different proportion from international tourism in almost all of years.

Meat product, in details, all of the ages never touched the percentage more than USD 4 billion. The most productive year was 2005 which reached the level of USD 4 billion while in the future it will be predicted to drop into a quarter lesser than 2005. Besides, the year of 2015 was in the middle position in which the proportion was approximately 3.5 billion dollars.

On the other hand, International Tourism stated 2025 will be the highest productivity in its services at 8 billion which increased dramatically from 2005 that only reached six billion and this prediction will be in the almost similar number to the dairy product's forecast. In the 2005, the rate of international travel services was less fertile in nearly 6 billion. However, this condition was still better than dairy products which just held 5 billion.

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Writing Feedback / Comparing car theft - numbers of robbed vehicles in different countries [4]

The graph presents the information about car robbery in one decade started in 1990. Overall, it seems clearly that Great Britain and France, in the last year on 1999, had a gradual decline than several years before.However, the rates of Sweden and Canada steadily rose in the years before the calculation ended.

Great Britain possessed two peak points in the 1992 and 1996 to almost 20,000 vehicles for both peak points and then it ended with incline trend from 1996 to 1999. Nearly in the same way, France held a wavy movement in which the number of car robbed intersected with Sweden in the 1991 then finally the last year was close in 7,000 cars.

The next illustration, cars robbed in Sweden always increased from the first year from more or less 9000 vehicles into the three times constant during 1996 to 1998 and stayed in 14,000 at last. In addition, Canada firstly plummeted in 1991 and had the lowermost point at 5,000. In brief, this country's proportion met the same point as France in the closing position in 1991.

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Writing Feedback / TED Summary; Everything You Think You Know About Addiction Is Wrong - Johann Hari [2]

In our life, whether legal system or social norm exposes a mistaken approach to the drug addicts. We always punish and make them suffer because we believe that it is the optimal way rather than giving them incentive to stop. When we start to observe new evidence of addiction, we will get a lot more than drug policies.

We can attempt to change the name of addiction into bonding. We will realise that bonding is about natural need when we have had traumatise, isolated, or beaten down by life, we will try to seek sense of relief that it is possible to bond into gambling, sex, or drugs. Therefore, we should give the bond connection into the addicts instead of judging them severely.

The next method is to decriminalise all drugs but we must disconnect and take all of the money we use for quitting addiction into job creation for addicts or micro loan to establish small business fo them. This way will significantly decrease a large number of overdoses, HIV/AIDS, and drug addiction.

To conclude, despite of always singing war songs for addicts, it is better for us to do the opposite way with providing them the bond connection that it will considerably cut all of agonises.

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Writing Feedback / There are many nurses migrating to developed nations in favour of well-paid vacancies. [2]

IELTS writing summary: Nurse Migration

There are many nurses migrating to developed nations in favour of well-paid vacancies. From that standpoint, the spreading of nurse is now imbalance which causes nursing shortage in the developing countries and it greatly influences the bulk of health care.

Lured by better quality of life and higher salaries, nurses from developing countries overburden the health care system where nurses are the preliminary caregivers as doctors are limited as well. Therefore, patients are often untreated and they just administered by assistant nurses who have only rudimentary training.

Afterwards, other thread concerning this problem is underinvestment in nursing education which leads to an unstable workforce to meet current and future needs. It is common when nursing schools deny thousands of qualified applicants every year because of a lack of nursing faculty.

In conclusion, doing nothing to recover the cause underlying of the shortage, millions of people will suffer from the deprived health care they need.

Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary; Nicholas Stern: The State of The Climate - and What We Might Do about it [3]

Countries, nowadays, face remarkable enhances on the urban areas and economic achievement but they are vulnerable to overcome the impact of environmental destruction from the cities' development. Society need to undertake the two fundamental transformations for the next better centuries.

First and foremost, basic structure of changing in economic society should be considered as a necessity because energy and gasses consumption will be doubled in the next hundred years. Following that, public must pay attention into the cities, energy, and land management in order to transform a fine relationship between human being with the planet.

The second transformation, people must succeed low carbon economy in the next two decades. Mega-cities should be designed in compact way to diminish energy consumption, business trend should be innovated into renewable investment, and transportation modes should be altered into non-polluting ways by reducing, reusing and recycling all sorts of things together with an array of communities.

To convert those means effectively needs supports from all components from government officials to the citizenries to centre attention which can deliver a better growth of the climate world.

Writing Feedback / Popular image of Hawaii that always relates to hula dancing with women swaying their hips [4]

IELST writing summary: Hula Dancing in Hawaiian Culture

Popular illustration about Hawaii that always relates to the hula dancing with women in grass swaying their hips and wearing skirt is a general stereotype in which this authentically has its roots of tradition.

This dance actually relates to the cultural ritual in honour of gods presented in front of altar and it is performed by both women and men. Hula, in its history, was discouraged as James Cook visited the islands causing numerous changes in the Hawaiian society until King David Kalakua revived the dance during his reign afterwards. Furthermore, a Hawaiian cultural festival prominent as The Merrie Monarch is held annually which differentiates the type of hula dance into ancient style -hula kahiko- and modern hula -hula auana-. Traditional hula tends to be energetic with accompaniment of chants and drum beats then modern style is quite similar to the ancient hula but it is slower and more graceful escorted with guitar and ukulele music.

This dance has become a form of entertainment after it was once religious ritual. In fact, it has fascinated vast people including tourists and native Hawaiians living outside the homeland.

Writing Feedback / TED Talk Summary; David Cameron : The Next Age of Government [2]

How we can make things better without spending much money is to combine the pure political philosophy with incredible information revolution to increase the human well-being because we are now in the miserable time of worldwide deficit.

Political philosophy, generally, consist of three pillars which are transparency, choice, and accountability. Those three points can be integrated with information technology from the internet to open publicity of all government contracts, to provide health facilities from the department of health through online system, and to invite people to collaborate in informing place of crime committed in the state of diminishing crime with the website connected to the police department. Eventually, people will actively protect one another without any forcing law from government as the state of public awareness supported by the combination of political honesty, people power and technology.

This possibility, in conclusion, can be implemented when citizens are able to visualise what they have presented to the nation; not what they have obtained from it.

Writing Feedback / The popularity of electric cars did not last long due to the limited power and mediocre speed. [3]

IELTS writing summary: Electric Car Around The Globe

In the early twentieth century, electric cars had been driven as renowned as gas-fuelled cars in North America until the popularity of electric cars did not last long due to the limited power and plodding speed.

Lately, Europe and China have tremendous intention to the electric vehicle as the government of China offers monetary incentive to individuals who purchase the electric cars as well as the company to produce. Innovations, at the moment, are gradually revealed in North America which those fascinate limited target consumers with the long-time single charge and high-speed acceleration electric sport car. Moreover, other American auto manufacturers are marketing electric cars for commuters in innovative design made with light composites and two seats and it aims to solve the matters to drive between lanes of stopped traffic.

Overall, beside all electric cars will help to decrease the amount of pollution, some will prevent it with elegance flair.