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Posts by Bekuk22
Name: Radja
Joined: Sep 21, 2016
Last Post: Oct 24, 2016
Threads: 15
Posts: 21  
Likes: 3
From: Indonesia
School: Stevanus rumbewas

Displayed posts: 36
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Bekuk22   
Oct 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Giving additional lessons as a way to solve problems with overcrowded classes [4]

When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?

Teacher tend to feel hard when handling a class with huge number of students and this would lead to less individual attention felt by the students. Giving additional teaching and using new technology in classes are workable solution which can be taken.

Giving additional lessons in school is one way to solve the problem for teacher who gets a difficulty to pay attention to each pupil in large class. It is important to carry out because this will assist academic of students as well as helping the difficulty in understanding subject matter. For instance, Malaya University has conducted research through additional lesson in school that the number of students experience increase in understanding what teacher has been taught after they have joined additional lessons. This condition reveals that it will solve teacher's difficulty in deliver subject.

Moreover, the school authority should encourage both teachers and students to take modern technologies like projectors, sound systems, the internet and this will help to address the issue. For instance, if a teacher updates his blog with his lectures, students who had difficulty understanding it could easily study it from home. Besides, in Seoul National University, is it very famous that students have their own video screens in their seat, enabling them to see and hear their teacher's quotes from near. The teacher can find each pupil on a huge screen installed on the wall.

To conclude, some students should study in class where their classes full of students so that it is reducing performance of their academic. Personally, teacher should give additional subject and the authority of school should give the technology facilities. It will give encouraging the both teacher and student in teaching and learning activity.
Bekuk22   
Oct 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / The world of work is changing - job conditions today are not the same as before [3]

hello Mr dika..
let me give some corrections..

1. This will impact for the families by difficulty of finding the low price
2.This will impact for the families by difficulty(the difficulty)of finding
3. A(use article the "the latest") latest survey from International Economic Organization state
4. the market (put comas)is become more expensive as ...

may my corrections be useful for your writing.
thank you...
Bekuk22   
Oct 24, 2016
Scholarship / My study in China; Chevening network question. Would be honoured, if you comment and help [8]

hello there..
here are my correction for your writing..

1.In China (put comas)It is called "guanxi", the network of people,
2. I even had to start notebook(put article a or the " the notebook") with their names,
3.That helped me to meet and know people, who dreams(dream) to work with China
4. At the same time (put comas) most of the Chinese top managers

may my corrections be useful ...
thank you ...
Bekuk22   
Oct 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / The use of renewable energy has less risk to the environment [3]

More renewable energy sources are harnessed to generate electricity these days. What are disadvantages and advantages of this trend?

Tend to use renewable energy to produce electricity. Even though free-pollution air would be created, its operational system requires more budgets.

Renewable energy is great for our energy portfolio because they are inexhaustible and will not pollute the environment for us or those of future generations by emitting toxic chemicals and gases. For instance, solar energy creates absolutely no pollution, it means clean and results in little to no greenhouse and net carbon emissions. It will not deplete our natural resources and have minimal, if any, negative impacts on the environment, with no waste products of Co2 and other, more toxic take with different sources of energy. The use of this energy will not bring out bad effect such as air pollution so that communities are more likely to use it.

On the other hand, the use renewable sources will spend much money because this needs many goods to encourage using this energy and have high maintenance expenses. For example, when we use a solar system that it should consider because the initial cost for purchasing a solar system is fairly high like the UK government has introduced some schemes for encouraging the adoption of renewable energy sources, such as the the Feed-in Tariff, you still have to cover the upfront costs. This includes paying for solar panels, inverter, batteries, wiring and for the installation. This condition shows that the use of renewable energy needs much money to purchase goods and require high maintenance expenses.

To conclude, the use of renewable energy has less risk to environment and even this would
Be free of the air-pollution but this will spend much money to purchase the goods of renewable energy and to maintain its equipment.
Bekuk22   
Oct 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / SEA LEVELS. Building dams and reservoirs can be taken as the workable solution for flood problem [4]

hello there..
I am going to give some corrections for your writing..

1. it (it is) spillover(spill over) to the river near the residence
2. The construction of flood-control barrier(barriers)
3. the function of reservoir( put article the" the reservoir)is to place plenty of water
4. for instance (put comas) Netherlands

i do apologize if i have made mistake in my corrections.
may my correction help your writing.
good job.
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Unsatisfying salary to accommodate human's necessities is the trigger for working long ours [2]

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?

These days the labor of world has been different circumstance compared to several years ago and people decide to take more than one job. Unsatisfying salary to accommodate human's necessities is the trigger of this trend and a policy to set a minimum salary suited to the cost of living cost is a workable solution to take

Recently, most of employees complaining their work which make them to change decision to look for one more jobs. This condition is because they blame the salaries they had received was very low and even expensive daily necessity demands them to look for more income. For example, there are several civil workers doing work in 2 sectors where they are forced to do it because it is demanded by the insufficient financial situation and facing changing times which are different where the position was forced to follow suit. It triggers them to take more one job is one of the way to fulfill their daily needs.

Companies where they work should range the regulation to increase their low salary because high salary can meet their necessity so that gaps and welfare of employees are met so they do not need to look for a job for more than two. For example, research in Edinburg University shows that social inequality and welfare of employee due to low income they get. This really helps employees in fulfilling their necessity and makes them focus on one job.

To conclude, low salary is one of trigger employees that employees do not meet needs so that they take more one job. In this trend companies should hire them should initiate to increase their salary.
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Manufacturing and business is boosted to be relocated from big city to the rural area [2]

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, manufacturing and business are boosted to be relocated from big city to the rural area. Although this policy would create fresh air, the difficulty of goods distribution will far outweigh any benefits.

One of advantages of the relocation of industrial and business center is the creation of fresh air in the city. This is because the amount of pollution coming from manufacturing and vehicles is less. For instance, Research form Edinburg University said that 80% of pollution is in the big cities is caused by transportation and even factory activity. This condition reveals that relocating factory or business area bring out good effect which is shown by data of research that pollution in city experienced a large decrease approximately 50%. However, this policy would trigger another pollution suffered by people living in the suburb.

It is accepted that when business and manufacturing center is placed in the outskirt, goods distribution would be time-consuming. This occurs as distance taken to send those commodities takes long. Besides, public transportation is no accessible so that this condition complicates activity of enterprises. For example, many workers who complain in the distribution because their time is wasted in vain for a far distance distribution. This means that long distance becomes obstacles in distribution and therefore the advantage of such policy far outweighs its benefit.

To conclude, Relocating manufacturing and business to rural area decrease pollution but impact of relocating will be difficult for the company in the process of distribution for the company's location away from urban centers.
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Cutting down on fossil fuel usage through utilising renewable energy [2]

hello there...
Let me give some corrections for your writing..

1.such as, plant( put article a or the "the plan) which can be extracted to ...
2. to produce electricity are harnessed by community( the community)
3. they need advance(advanced) machines which occasionally
4. which are preservation(the preservation)of natural
5. depended( depended on ) in every country needs ...

i hope my correction can be remainder for you writing...
thank you..
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Classes attended by many students are less effective and less efficient [2]

hello there..
let me give some corrections for your writing..

1. the number of student(students) but also suggest the teachers
2. the teachers to change the way their
3.the way their( they are)teach student become more attractive.
4. suggest the teachers to change the way their teach student become(to become)more attractive.
5.the more students attending to study,( do not put comas)

may some corrections can help your writing..
thank you..
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / When students are in large classes - problems and solutions [2]

hello there...
let me give some corrections for your writing..

1. the result of survey(the survey or a survey) in 2010 that showed ...
2.when class fells c(feels) rowded since many ...
3.a policy to control the amount of students( a number of students)
4.the role of teacher(put article a or the " the teacher") is necessary so that government

may some corrections are useful for your writing...
thank you..
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Smoking in public area is illegal and it prevents people from suffering serious diseases [2]

In some countries it is illegal to smoke in public places, it is only fair that people who wish to smoke have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

In several countries, smoking in public area is illegal. Therefore, it is suggested that the smokers should leave the building if they want to smoke. This essay would totally agree with such an idea because it will prevent people from suffering serious diseases and keep circumstance healthy.

It is true that smoking in public area would harm people who do not smoke and create several illnesses. Smoking in public area needs policy which can stop this activity. This Policy will make smoker realize that they should not be in the building. Cigarette consists of several chemicals such as nicotine, tare, and cyanide encouraging some several diseases like cancer, respiratory disorders. According to research conducted in Bangalore University in 2009, For example, non-smokers are in smoking area will get more dangerous effect rather than smokers. Therefore, smoking in the public places would endanger people around there.

Smokers who care healthy circumstance will not certainly smoke in public area because they realized that healthy circumstance is more important. This aware is need for people who smoke in order to be able keep the environment of cigarette smoke. This condition explains that smoker should leave the building if they want to smoke in order to their circumstance polluted by smoke and keep healthy. Thus, it will create healthy environment is free of harmful effect of smoking.

To conclude, I'm convinced that smoking is serious problem can cause some diseases like cancer as well as cigarette smoke may contaminate the environment. One of the way can decrease effect of smoking is smokers should leave the building if they want to smoke. I hope that there should be regulation can range this problem from government.
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / MOVING BUSINESS CENTER IN OUTSKIRT [3]

hello there,,
let me give some correction for you..

1.It is commonly believe( believed ) the distance connecting ...
2.the workplace in industrial( put article an or the " an idustrial area) area and visitor ...
3.... working progressively to build their infrastructure ( such as highway
4....business center and industrial area build( to build)is incline

I hope my correction can be remainder to your wrting..
thank you ..
Bekuk22   
Oct 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / PROHIBITION SMOKING IN PUBLIC PLACES to create a clean environment, and protect to people's health [4]

hello eve,,
let me give some correction for your writing..

1.government authority has aim(the aim) to prohibit smokers ...
2.Dubai government found that air condition around public placeswere(was) polluted around
3. ... smoke everywhere and will pollute air surrounding ...
4. ... around 56% in Airport and 78% in ( put the or a because this is noun "the convention")convention hall
5. For instance, a recent survey,( do not put comas) carried out by the Japan

may my corrections are use ful for your writing ..
thank you..
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 sea level increases at alarming rate due to the climate change [2]

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?

Nowadays, sea level increases at alarming rate due to the climate change. This will lead to the inundation of some area around the sea and constructing dam is a viable solution to take.

The most problem caused by the rise of sea level is flood in area around the sea. This happens is the ground is lower than sea surface. Such catastrophe makes the societies have to be evacuated for shelter. Beside, epidemic diseases like diarrhea spread owing to the lack of sanitation and clean water. For instance, when tsunami of Aceh happened, many people feel misery making them to displace to the place has been provided by government.

One solution which can be taken to overcome the problem is the building of sea barrier in the shoreline. This obviously would hold the flow of water into the land. Besides, such breakthrough can be utilized to generate electricity, boosting economic activities. One of great example of this is The Netherlands is a low-lying land or low land under sea level. Approximately 21% of the population of the Netherlands is under sea level and 70% of Dutch primary economic activity is also under the sea surface. This condition is realized by Netherland to make polder system which is include levees, pumps, drains, retention ponds, land landscape settings, and installation of dirty water separate. It makes free of threat flooding for the societies living around the sea.

In conclusion, the rising sea level caused by climate change is one of the problems we face and at last it will bring out flooding hurt many people around the sea. As we can see in Netherland that this condition can be solve by making dam.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Yes, the money... but another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation. [3]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the some company for many years?

Many employees have to work in one place for a long time because of money. While it is true to some extent, I also claim that good cooperation in one company is another factor which should be taken into account.

It is true that money is one of reasons making some employees motivated to work in one place. Staying in one place for long time would influence their career because they would easily to get promotion and they would receive a high salary from companies. For example, there is my neighbor deciding to work in one company for many years because he thinks that if working in long period, company will give him higher salary. Thus, most people work in one place for long because of money.

On the other hand, money is not the only one which can make several employee motivated because in work place not only need money but also they require cooperation with other co-worker. Solid Partnership can make work more efficient and productive. Besides, they would be helped by cooperation if employee has problem in work. Those can lighten some employee's work by cooperation. As result they would feel motivated in doing their work.

To conclude, many people cannot be undeniable that money is one motivation to do work but it does not meant that money the only one can become spirit factor in their work because there are another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Without doubt children working in a casual work or a summer work, will get much practical experience [3]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Even though more experience would be gained by children taking a side job, i am more likely to believe that they should not take a part of this trend as they are psychologically not ready.

It is undeniable that children working in a casual work or summer work will get much practical experience. This is because they are involved with several activities they do not get in the school. Besides, children will be more caution to spend their money because they know how difficult to earn the money is. Based on my experience, fresh graduate children deciding to take job feel that they obtain much different experience that they may not get in their school. It means that working can give children experience as provision to work in the future.

On the other hand, it is often said that children working in several companies would have mental disorder. This is because they are not mature enough and ready to face with the hardness of working pressure. For instance, there are some companies complaining about their workers always tending to be unfriendly with customers and sometimes getting problem with the co-workers. In fact, after investigating that these are created by workers who have unbalance emotion. This condition is caused by psychology factor of children who is not ready to work. Personally, It can be accepted that one factor of growth is important step in children.

In conclusion, fresh graduate children join world of work will again more useful experience will not get in school but this condition is not good because mentally they are not ready to work and the condition is often a trigger issue in the work.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Childcare centers have rich facilities, professional teachers, and high level of service [3]

Some parents think that childcare center provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently, some parents are so busy with their work choose to give to childcare, while other person argue that family will be better to look after their children. Giving children to childcare center will be batter because childcare professionals offer a better overall service than they give children to family.

The children given to their family will not be better rather children are in childcare center because family has lees knowledge to educate their children and also they are not like childcare center having many facilities to encourage educated activity for children. Besides, family tends to coddle children even more they just give affection without education. For example, Grandmother looking after grandchild like children doing mistakes or against parents should give advice in order to do the same mistake but in fact, they just impressed ignore what their children have done.

Most of parents are full time to work so that they get difficulty to give their children attention should be given for them. This tends to make their parents giving them to childcare center which they considered competent institution which can give them a better service. This is because childcare center give full facilities to encourage activity which make their children are more cultivated. Besides, they have many professional teacher educating children accurately. For example, it can imagine if institution of childcare whose teachers do not know how to teach, how to face children who is difficult to control. It is clear that this condition explains the importance of professional teachers needed by their parents to educate their children because this can improve ability and skill children.

On the whole, educating children will be better if the parents give to the childcare center because those have full facilities, professional teachers, so that the high level of service provided by daycare professionals trumps that of unqualified family members.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Online games: they decrease children's time to study but also help them to enhance their knowledge. [5]

Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?

Children playing online games will bring out drawback like children spending more time in front of computer, but they can increase their knowledge by harnessing such technology.

Many children feel happy when they are playing game online so that they are ready to stay long time front of computer. Unfortunately, this activity brings some drawbacks for children because their time to study is spent on playing game and is less to communicate with their fellow, besides, this trend increases sense of individualism showed by children in their daily lives. It is true that playing games brings several demerits for children.

On the other hand, many people argue that children playing game online will be smart and this activity will be able to enhance children knowledge. In fact in this era several children are smart because of the tendency to play online games. This is because online game provides many features educating and improving children brain to think smart and encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context. For instance, in online game, there are some games like mathematics game, biology game, puzzle, which is often played by children. By using those game children can be learning by playing and they get many new things. As the result children can broaden their knowledge. This condition shows that online games have more benefits for increasing knowledge of children.

To conclude, although game online decrease children's time to study but effect of game online really help children to enhance their knowledge.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Undergraduate / Extracurricular activities, work - need guidance on improvement in language and grammar! [5]

hello brother,,
let me give some corrections for you writing..

1.Organising(organizing)debate competition and story
2. debate competition and story writing competition once in a weekhas(have)been a weekly task
3 For the last two and a half year ,I am working at Hoste Hainse( i have been working)

may some corrections can help your writing and i do apologize if i have many mistake in my correction s.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task II _ Pediatric care centers offer best service for children [3]

hello there,,
here are some correction for me.

1. Some people agree about it(agree with it) while others believe that grandparents
2. pediatric care centers offers(offer) professionals
3. ... who are accomplished in nursing(a or the nursing) toddler.
4. ... who are nursed by relative(the or a relative) .

may some corrections can help your writing...
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Several countries permit under-age children to work [4]

Hello there,,
let me give some corrections for your writing,

Here are my Corrections :
1. This statement create(creates) the presence of two
2. some assume it is as (as) an unacceptable choice ...
3. children should not be engaged further as a labour(labor)considered
4.creative to solve problem( the problem) in work and friendlier to their partner in workplace(the workplace)

may some corrections are useful for your writing..
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Undergraduate / My village and its customs that changed my life! [25]

Hello there,,
I am going to give some corrections for your writing..
may my correction can help your writing..

1. Kaudena(Kaduna), a village located at the south of Nepal
2. I like to think(that)I have already started my journey
3.From time to time(long by long), I would go back to Kaudena for a visit.

I do apologize if have many mistake in my corrections
i hope my correction is useful..
thank you.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Moving manufaturers to suburban areas bears demerits [3]

hello miss Didah,,
let me give some corrections. this may help your writing...

1.the number of people moving to city( the city, because this is noun)
2.Even though the movements of industries and businesses directed to outskirt areais (are) a good idea
3.As industries and businessesoffers(offer) work field
4.South Korea citizens proves(prove) it where there are 2,5 million
5.reallocating industries and businesses out of rural areamakes(make) it bears urban areas'

thank you ...
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many countries are allowed children to work in particular areas [4]

hello there,
let me give some corrections for your writing,

1.they can bringagood influences
2 For example, a current survey by (the) Psychologist
3.if children take part-time(use a or the part-time) job
4. I believe (that) the confusion comes from the fact that

may my correction can help your writing.
thank you.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / INCREASING SEA LEVELS CAUSED BY GLOBAL WARMING [4]

Hello eva,,
im going to give some correction for your writing,

1.the increase of(in) sea levels
2.the inundation in (use article the or a because noun) coastal area and ...
3.One of solutions(the solutions) which can be taken to cope
4. (use article the "the government) government should ...

i hope my correction can help your writing.
Bekuk22   
Oct 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / More electricity are produced using alternative energy resources. [3]

hello MR dika..
let me give some correction for your writing
i hope my correction can help your writing

1. New energy bring( brings)
2. It is becausethe equipment and location is uncommon(equipment and location are uncommon)
3. geothermal energy in near the mountain is need much money to drill ( need much money to drill)
4.It means ( that) they would (...) such as gas emmitions(emission)

may my corrections are useful for your writing..
i do apologize if i have make mistake in my correction..
thank you...
Bekuk22   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some companies require great apperance, while other value the work quality more. [3]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both of these views and give your opinion


Some companies need that their employee should be clean and tidy up in their appearance while the other persons say that point value of quality work is more essential. In my opinion, the both of them quality of work and appearance are necessary but it depends on their productivity in work place.

Currently, some employees need good appearance as identity of their own personality moreover it is needed in work. It is not only about identity for employee but also regulation which arranges the way how the employee to wear clothes in their work. However, it is not only one of requirement in the place where they work but they need also good ability to help company more productive. On the contrary, in fact many employees ignore their skills to work but those just pay too much attention to their fashion when they work. Thus, those employees will be able to bring out several drawback to company such as drop income, less productivity, and even bankrupt.

On the other hand, some societies argue that quality of work is one of obligatory factor to assist and increase development of company. It should be had by some employee because it is as booster of productivity for company. Besides, quality of work like ability, and skills can simplify how the employee do the right things in their work. As the result, company will obtain some benefits by them like good income, excellent achievement , development of company and even the increased productivity.

To conclude, in my point of view that the both of them quality and appearance in work is needed but if just one of them is not had by employee may be able to be harmful to company. As the result their work will be abandoned and not productive. Therefore, the both of them should be had in order it can encourage more productivity and bring good profit for company.
Bekuk22   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / People can be measured by their habits, not by the clothes they wear, as some suggest [3]

hello there..
here are some corrections for you, may some corrections help your writing..

... human appearance can make a sign to one another( can represent as their own characteristic )

... says that human can not(cannot)be judged other person

... clothes is not reflected have a good attitude .( as person who has good attitude)

Nowadays, society always following(follow) evolution era include ...

After that, society always judges people by their wear( their fashion ), for instance, human appearance ...

This because (it is caused by )many official who have tidy ...

thank you...
Bekuk22   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / People have to be more careful for choosing their clothes because it may cause some problems [5]

hello there..
Let me give some correction for you. I hope my correction can help your writing..
people who wear clothes become more attention for surrounding environment.( as far as i know, this is not sentence but it is just subject because there is no main verb)that is just subject and sub verb but not main verb

People wear clothes would reflect themselves( their own personality ) with positive comments

People wear clothes would reflect themselves with positive comments .( there is no correlation between first sentence and the second. which one show positive sentence ? For example, people who wear formal clothes when they go to the office from their house.

Employee wearing formal clothes as figure respected by the surroundings ( there is no main verb ) I give sample example sentence which shows right sentence( people wearing modern fashion show one of their characteristic) show = main verb

I do apologize if I make mistake in mt correction..
May be Useful...
thank you.
Bekuk22   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary of article : Japanese Scientist Yoshinori Ohsumi Wins the Nobel Prize in Medicine [4]

Japanese Scientist Yoshinori Ohsumi Wins the Nobel Prize in Medicine

The scientist of japan had been awarded this years in medicine on Monday for finding related to the derogatory and recycling of natural component.

Disorganized autophagy has been connected to differing diseases involving parkinso's diabetes and cancer, the institute said.
The concept has been recognized for many years ago, its basic importance in physiology and antibiotic was only recognized after yosinori ohsumi' research in the 1990s. It was 107th award in the medicine category since the first Nobel prizes were carry.

Last years ago reward was given by some scientist who develoved treatment for malaria and others diseases. The publication continue with aid on Sunday while chemistry on Wednesday and Nobel peace reward on Friday.
Bekuk22   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The comparison of relations between workers and their supervisor, and workers among their colleagues [3]

hello there ...
Let me give some correction for you..

these are some mistakes of spelling in your writing and grammatical error.

It is clarly(Clearly) seen
the exellent( excellent)relationship
The presented pie charts
and who( do not need to put who again because it has been already in your sentence) associated poorly with their work partners was not found in 2009

Good relation that was(has) experienced by only 26 %

Those are some correction for me. I do hope that it can help your writing.
sorry if i make mistakes in my correction..

good job....
Bekuk22   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is advice that teenagers should reach a job before continuing to study in school or university [2]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school or university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


There are advice that teenagers should reach a job before continuing to study in school or university. In my opinion, taking job for a few years before studying has possibility which is useful and disagreeable.

It is clear that teenagers should reach a job before studying in school or university because it help them to have much experiences, increased ability and skill, even more creating money when they have receive a job before those continue to study. Base on my experience, teenagers will accept money and able to pay budgeting of education by their own money when they are working. Besides, they will be easy to look for job because those have already experience in working before.

On the other hand, some teenagers will feel comfort when those have got a job. It does not good news for their education because they do not want to continue studying. Those all caused by their work which make them comfort to keep working and money which they obtain by work so that they feel do not to need to continue studying. It is also influence by their perspective that someone can earn money without high level education. Thus they argue that they will not continue to study while they have got a job because they have known how to earn money as well as most people say that we get high education for earning money.

To conclude, some teenagers can have several benefit such as getting good experience, improving ability, and creating money by working but it should be remembered that those make them inattentive so that they feel not to need education.
Bekuk22   
Oct 4, 2016
Undergraduate / UNC Supplement Essay: Tell us a story that helps us better understand... [4]

hello there,,
let me give some suggestions for you. I hope that some suggestion can help and increase your writing...

For the first time( in first time ), eight long years later, he walked into Great Expectations Together (GET),
the non-profit where( which)

Since then,( Then, ) GET has mended his life immensely.

Now, he holds a paid position teaching a writing( please make it clear) class that puts his ...

Justas( it more better if you put subject in the first sentence and as far as i know that putting sentence in first paragraph is forbidden) GET lifted Brian out of ...

I hope those correction can help your writing..
i do apologize if i make mistake in my correction..
Good job...
Bekuk22   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / The rank of education of Bulgaria citizens who chose to live in another country [3]

The chart below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who want to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart gives information about the rank of education of Bulgaria societies who want to live in another country from 2002 to 2008. Overall, it can be understood that the highest proportion in rank of education is secondary education while the societies who hold lower education and higher education are lowest.

Base on bar chart, the highest percentage of education rank to Bulgaria of societies is secondary but it experienced a slight decrease to nearly two-fifth percent every year. Besides, people who hold higher education show a slight rise of 9%.

The primary and lower education experienced a gradual increase from 2002 to 2008. At beginning, the both of them saw a increase 8% in 2002, then the proportion of the primary and lower education increased slightly just 1% but next year the percentage of primary and lower education experienced a rapid growth of 13%.
Bekuk22   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / GPS Accuracy in Australia versus moves of tectonic plates in America [5]

hallo i will try to give some correction..
i hope that my correction will help your writing.
Although it will spending(spend) to more time
That(it) is most phenomena in the world
they said when there is(was)significant shifting land plate

I do apologize if i have mistakes in my correction because I am still studying.

thank you.
Bekuk22   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Traditional clothes, bowler hats, handmade macramé shawls, layered skirts and blouses in La Paz [2]

Article Summary, Indigenous 'Chola' Clothing Comes to Fashion Week

Currently, fashion become popular in some countries specially in Bolivia's capital city La Paz where traditional clothes really liked by them. Traditional clothes, bowler hats, handmade macramé shawls, layered skirts and blouses. Many years ago, fashion designer Elianan paco paredes has introduced what she has made at New York city's fashion week last week. She made historical design which attracts people who see it.

Bringing indigenous designs to New York is huge step for paco paredes thought not the first time her clothing has received international recognition. It doesn't just receive in New York but in some place their designed liked. Their designs get response from some people because it shows the identity of local women in La Paz.
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