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Perseverance Innovate Achievements - Personal Statement to UC

4 - good syntax and description. maybe on your audition part, be more description of how you felt and your...

Undergraduateshinji344 - Nov 18, 2009lowcal - Nov 21, 2009
Do I need to cite the Bible?

8 - You should cite the bible because it is one of the most published books and there are many editions,...

Grammar, Usagepeachykeen - Nov 18, 2009timeturner36 - Dec 21, 2009
Overcoming Illness - I am proud of what I have learned from it; UC Prompt 2

3 - in the first sentence, you don't need "of my life" "Walking around out doors was on its own...

Undergraduateateitelb - Nov 18, 2009gumdrop41 - Nov 18, 2009
"mouth-watering contributions " - UC Essay Prompt 1 - Community

3 - Thanks Eric! I have been feeling overwhelmed by all the essays, and your feedback is great! ...family has...

Undergraduateateitelb - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
Short Activity Essay for Common App - Volunteering in Ecuador

5 - The only sentence I think could use some work is the second to last. "Conversing with the children...

Undergraduatemelaaanieee - Nov 18, 2009amaryrose - Nov 18, 2009
'No reason I needed these classed' - An experience in which I left my comfort zone

3 - I love your story! For my idea I think you should have more description about your inner feeling for...

Undergraduatetrishaa78 - Nov 18, 2009Twinkle - Nov 19, 2009
"The university fund project" - Why are you considering The Ohio State University?

4 - "That" refers to something already said; "this" would be more appropriate here. Also, the clause following the colon...

UndergraduateJin - Nov 18, 2009pheelyks - Nov 20, 2009
LSE application, for Dev Studies, personal statement

13 - Dear Fidelis, Your essay is very good! For me, it is obvious, that the author is a good...

GraduateFidelis - Nov 18, 2009altair88 - Dec 18, 2009
My Motivation Letter to a Fellowship Admission (pharmaceutical industry)

3 - Kevin, Thanks a lot for your corrections. You really help me improving my English skills. Lisa...

Graduatemicrofreak - Nov 18, 2009microfreak - Nov 27, 2009
Toefl Integrated task" William shakespeare"

2 - Thanks, Mashhadi, for this great work. I know that takes a long time! I hope your teachers will someday...

Writing FeedbackPoojasugandhi - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
Studying people and events of the past time is very useful

3 - Hi, what I can suggest about the timings is... 1.Do practice with timer on. Say 20 mins for typing....

Writing Feedbackhitchhike - Nov 18, 2009Poojasugandhi - Nov 18, 2009
Comparative Essay - "A good man is hard to find", and "the faery handbag"

3 - I like Kevin's method of doing things, but when I find myself particularly stuck at the beginning of an...

Book Reportsclo_m12 - Nov 18, 2009pheelyks - Nov 20, 2009
TOEFL:::working for a small company - more chances are to boost in your job

2 - You did a good job of making clear your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph. Your...

Writing Feedbackmashhadi - Nov 18, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 20, 2009
TOEFL preference essay " sports vs.arts" - feedback welcomed :)

4 - I believe when you are asked to stay and support your preference about two o more topics, subjects or...

Writing Feedbackeng_student - Nov 18, 2009margarita - Nov 23, 2009
Argumentative essay about interracial marriage - thesis statements

3 - A thesis statement should be "arguable" in any essay, especially in an argumentative essay. Who could argue with this...

Essayskristib_25 - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
Toefl : lifestyle individualism VS collectivism

2 - This is coming out very well, but I did find a few mistakes; Living in community based upon...

Writing FeedbackBabies - Nov 18, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 20, 2009
I am going to make it to UCF, "bump in the road"

2 - ^Ummm...not quite, especially since college decisions are not always uniform...you can be the best student ever and not...

Undergraduatetakemeoutoxox - Nov 18, 2009Llamapoop123 - Nov 19, 2009
"the high-level knowledge" - UC #2: 2 experience

3 - I could obviously find disparity Contrary to renouncing the opportunity, I kept going and attained the... Oh,...

Undergraduatefranklinz622 - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
Toefl essay on Silvio Berlusconi.

4 - Yes, I know what you mean!! You are great, I'm inspired by bilingual people. You wrote know...

Writing Feedbackdar81 - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
MPH Essay: Choice of degree, program, concentration

2 - You are an excellent writer, this is great. The first thing that stood out to me though, is that...

UndergraduatePublicHealth26 - Nov 18, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 20, 2009
Do men and women have similar goals in life?! Hey guys, help me edit(:

3 - all depends on that how much understanding has between wife and husband how much they believe in each other...

SpeechesrEdHeEls - Nov 18, 2009satish - Nov 20, 2009
Describe the world you come from and how it shapes your dreams? For UC Berkeley

4 - Since childhood, my world was surrounded by math ; the myriad of mix of 10 digits was like a...

UndergraduateHarmonSa - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
Toefl essay which changed people's lives automobiles bicycles airplanes

3 - Although new invention will changed the world more or less, only a few inventions can take the significant change...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Nov 18, 2009Jin - Nov 18, 2009
[TOEFL]Tidal Power_Integrated task.

3 - This is perfect English! You don't have any mistakes that I can see. I just have some ideas...

Writing Feedbackyin - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
UC Essay #1: My family and my dreams

5 - Thanks for the feedback...this is just a first draft, I forgot to say lol. So its kinda boring and...

UndergraduateJennB2288 - Nov 18, 2009JennB2288 - Nov 19, 2009
Shoppers: Division/Classification Essay

3 - I'm really sorry I didn't get to this in time for your deadline! I hope you clicked around EssayForum...

Essayssaenz - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2009
"Born in China mainland" - Dickinson essay

10 - delete "myself" at the end of first paragraph, my 朋友....

Undergraduatelycjack - Nov 18, 2009funoffan - Dec 25, 2009
"I was born in a business environment" - UC Prompt

4 - Thanks for the help! I decided that this essay was crap, so I decided to take another approach in...

Undergraduatemusicinmypants - Nov 18, 2009musicinmypants - Nov 30, 2009
7th Inning Stretch, Baseball - UC

2 - thefreedictionary.com/unrequited If a grin escapes your face, that seems to mean it leaves your face, but I don't...

Undergraduatetraderjoe9 - Nov 18, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 19, 2009
My half-sister UC Prompt #2

3 - Thanks for your comment!...

Undergraduatealeggz - Nov 18, 2009aleggz - Nov 19, 2009
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