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First generation student - Common App/ Topic of your choice

4 - Don't capitalize generation in that first sentence. Use a hyphen for self-learn. A little bit of assistance...

Undergraduatedjrmt - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 17, 2009
'studying politics in-depth' - GWU essay about what influenced me to apply

4 - Out Of the many reasons that inspired me to apply ... The George Washington University allows all...

Undergraduateaznq01 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 17, 2009
' I began my undergraduate career at ...' - SOP for PhD in biological and biomedical sciences.....

3 - Thank you so much for your suggestions!!...

Graduatesvd - Nov 15, 2009svd - Nov 16, 2009
Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!?

15 - your right kev!...

UndergraduateMoeMoe1 - Nov 15, 2009MoeMoe1 - Dec 1, 2009
Toefl;Government should definitely spend money in improving transportation services

2 - From the great, great work that margarita and rmli did, I can see that you have to work on...

Writing FeedbackPoojasugandhi - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 17, 2009
USC prompt : "Perception of Mortality" does it agree with the prompt?

4 - It was me against a one-ton, metal, forty mile-per-hour moving machine. I almost lost, indefinitely. I crossed off...

Undergraduateguffaa88 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 17, 2009
A Future Doctor: 7 year BS-MD Program Essay

5 - Thank you everyone for editing this! I really appreciate the feedback. glorfs: Thanks for the in depth analysis!...

Undergraduatelahariv - Nov 15, 2009lahariv - Nov 17, 2009
UT austin "Issue essay"

3 - Also, don't capitalize nation in that first sentence. I almost want to suggest cutting it down to size as...

Undergraduatenuncio900 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 17, 2009
UC promt 1: Environmental Studies

2 - This might not seem like a very strong subject to you, but you can make it interesting by the...

Undergraduatesbenn334 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 16, 2009
UC Prompt #2: Dr King

4 - Yes! Elaborate on biomed engineering, because you can show that you already read articles about breakthroughs and research projects,...

Undergraduatesaladbar_12 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
ESSAY ON "THE WAR ROOM" MOVIE ABOUT CLINTON'S '92 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN

2 - Wow, you're a very good writer! Your essay is powerful and interesting all the way through. The election...

Writing Feedbackkyleroland - Nov 15, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 16, 2009
UC essay prompt #1 Success is not easy

4 - Find ways to use fewer words to say what you need to say: ...that makes me love playing it:...

Undergraduateagilbert1992 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UC Essay Prompt 2- Grandpa's Sin, My Revelation

4 - Thank you Susan and Kevin. I'll edit it while keeping your comments in mind. I appreciate it!...

Undergraduatetweezerman - Nov 15, 2009tweezerman - Nov 17, 2009
incorporated in my enthusiasm to contribute to this school,Does this make sense?

6 - No! :-) You could, maybe, incorporate enthusiasm into a mixture of emotions you are feeling right now....

Undergraduatekihyun91 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
'math tutoring program' Activity Essay for the Common app

5 - Student tutors were only selected from the senior AP Calculus classes. Being a fervent fan of mathematics, I was...

UndergraduateHelpPls - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 19, 2009
Declaration of Independence Writing Assignment

3 - The phrase refers to the "divine right of kings"--the thought that kings are intended to rule by God and...

Essaysihatessayzz - Nov 15, 2009Notoman - Nov 16, 2009
'undeveloped third world countries travels' BOULDER what can you contribute

3 - You should briefly name them -- the organizations -- so that this sentence feels real instead of being...

Undergraduatekyleroland - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UCF has a well-established Nursing program and is very well-known. Why I chose to apply to UCF?

4 - Thanks, PatelJ. I notice you have been helping a lot of people lately....

Undergraduatemcfaddenm - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 12, 2009
"your future roommate to know about you" - Stanford Essay

4 - No problem. I would really appreciate it if you could read my 7 year Med. essay. Thank you!...

Undergraduatedanieljluebke - Nov 15, 2009lahariv - Nov 15, 2009
"ushering people in from sub-zero temperatures" - Stanford Essay

4 - I love this essay- I worked on his campaign too. I only wonder, what exactly did you gain from...

Undergraduatedanieljluebke - Nov 15, 2009songbird91 - Nov 15, 2009
"very diverse, delightful, and invigorating" - Rutgers Undergraduate Essay.

4 - Thank you very much Susan Mr. Nunez for your help:) I just finished fixing my essay whereever it was...

Undergraduatecar3n - Nov 15, 2009car3n - Nov 15, 2009
sop for masters in biotechnology

4 - Thanks both of you.It was really helpful.I will definitely do the changes....

Graduatejensy - Nov 15, 2009jensy - Nov 22, 2009
Open topic Supplement Essay about guitar-playing

9 - Thanks for all the feedback! I've revised the final two paragraphs and my conclusion is more explicit and...

Undergraduateglorfs - Nov 15, 2009glorfs - Nov 17, 2009
FSU admission essay STRENGTHS

5 - thank you all for the help and the wonderful comments!...

UndergraduateDanielVino - Nov 15, 2009DanielVino - Dec 6, 2009
massachusetts college of pharmacy supplement essay.

3 - I remember my whole family crying and mourning for days. As a future pharmacist, I look forward to...

UndergraduateNEEDHELP99 - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
Compare and contrast between living in the countryside and the suburbs

3 - I am impressed! Most compare/contrast essays are very rigid and robotic, but your opening paragraph is so natural and...

Writing FeedbackThuy Nguyen - Nov 15, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UC Prompt #2: Rebuilding a Club

6 - Wow, I am impressed by how well you write. Also The president and I also broke down each...

Undergraduatevintage - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
"Drop Ball" - Common App Essay - Applicable?

9 - Yes, it definitely answers the prompt, and yes this new ending is great. Dramatic pause: However, I still...

UndergraduateKlaw30 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
My family came to America with limited amounts of money -common app essay

5 - John Quincey Adams My family came to America with limited amounts of money and two small bags filled...

UndergraduateNEEDHELP99 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UW Honors/ Good citizenship comes from good scholarship

2 - Overall, you've done a good job answering the prompt. The one thing that struck me was how much your...

ScholarshiptobeJames - Nov 14, 2009mmmargarita - Nov 14, 2009
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