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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 433)

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The knowledge we acquire outside of school is the most important.

2 - Nowadays, there are two opinions concernedconcerning the importance of school. [ Some hold that our most important lessons are...

Writing Feedbackwhitney - Nov 28, 2010 / kawaiikoinu - Nov 30, 2010
Does the development of technology lead to environmental pollution and energy crisis?

2 - I think your essay is a bit harsh...it sounds like you think science and technology is (maybe a bit...

Writing Feedbackseiya152 - Nov 23, 2010 / elisabeths - Nov 30, 2010
Filling the Gap: Legalizing Organ Trade (Persuasive Essay)

2 - Only about 20,000 received them that year, while over 7,000 people died when new organs would have saved them....

Writing FeedbackFlying_Pie - Nov 23, 2010 / EF_Susan - Nov 30, 2010
Déjŕ vu, I did it in reality - boyfriend essay story

5 - okay thanks for your help =D and no thiis wasn't for a collage applicatio it's a personal narrative....

Writing Feedbackbluechick54 - Nov 28, 2010 / bluechick54 - Nov 30, 2010
Increasing Number of Strays Causes Threat to Shelters and Organizations

3 - Hi Evelyn, you write very well! The solution to your problem is to get more raw material for the...

Writing FeedbackBellaItalia088 - Nov 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2010
A new factory will be built in your hometown, do you agree or disagree?

3 - your essay is good but you did not write following a thesis-led. I think you should give more reasons...

Writing Feedbackriny - Nov 29, 2010 / huongvt - Nov 29, 2010
Raw food vs Cooked food - How's my intro?

13 - That's okay! A lot of people will be able to learn from this thread in the future. Thanks, everyone......

Writing FeedbackA00226270 - Nov 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 28, 2010
"The media has the power to instill ideas" - National/Local Concern Prompt

2 - No need for the comma in the first sentence. The first paragraph is a little off-putting because a...

Writing FeedbackDeadmaster - Nov 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 27, 2010
Peer pressure - "OUR DESIRE TO CONFIRM IS GREATER THAN OUR RESPECT FOR OTHER OBJECTS"

2 - You are always allowed to put these two together as one word: cannot Most people cannot Here...

Writing Feedbacknigeria - Nov 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 27, 2010
should students have part-time jobs while studying?

3 - This is pretty good! One way to improve your writing is to make a longer intro paragraph and a...

Writing Feedbackcamthangtu - Nov 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 27, 2010
Getting message from different news resources to understand events under more objective perspective.

10 - Well, it's probably okay. I sometimes say the same things to different people, because sometimes people need the...

Writing FeedbackStridercoo - Nov 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 27, 2010
'My friend, Park - someone' has taught me more about the importance of life than else

2 - this is what i got from your essay. Park, a unique friend of mine who doesn't give up...

Writing Feedbacktjdduq1213 - Nov 20, 2010 / danado0ona - Nov 27, 2010
"yeah, i socialize with scum" (anarchic, autistic, messy )

7 - don't get me wrong. i'm not anti-social. i want a NEW society. full of love and solidarity. ...

Writing FeedbackHalfred C - Nov 25, 2010 / Halfred C - Nov 27, 2010
The Effects of Love (A Cause/Effect Paper)

2 - Eighteen years old is not too old for any kind of love, puppy or otherwise. After all, "puppy...

Writing Feedbackcucciola21 - Nov 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
Government should sponsor to build up museum and theatre .

4 - As to whether government should sponsor on the building of a museum and a theatre, the public holds...

Writing Feedbackwhitney - Nov 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
Is the ability to tolerate problems as important as the ability to fix them

2 - I'll give some more corrections. Please practice every correction by typing the sentence 10 times. That is the way...

Writing Feedbacksgl - Nov 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
Alcoholism vs. other addiction - Compare and contrast

5 - I don't think it is helpful to begin the essay with a sentence about addiction types being ample....

Writing Feedbackanb_duck - Nov 17, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
Experience of children with divorced parents (proficiency exercise)

NEW - In many years,there has been a growing problem about children with divorced parents experience more difficulties among families not...

Writing Feedbackmervischsouth - Nov 26, 2010 / — -
Pre-nuptial agreements. Do you think everyone should have it?

4 - I believe both parties will know if there is the need for a pre-nupt before they marry if they...

Writing FeedbackTaniad - Nov 17, 2010 / femifash - Nov 26, 2010
Compare and contrast your way of life with that of your parents

3 - Never type this: more better ...always far more better than their fathers' lives. ...attitudes toward professions and ways...

Writing FeedbackMivi - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
"About the experience of shopping for a new car" - Reasons to buy a Toyota Corolla

4 - I don't think this opening sentence is as effective as it could be. You could give an opening...

Writing Feedbackeraf18 - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
governments should spent more money for health education than research-feedback

4 - Hi Sobin, I see that Adelyne did a great job of correcting the errors. I will enjoy correcting your...

Writing Feedbacksobin - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 26, 2010
An important skill for a person in the world today (using a computer)?

4 - De Silva and chu tuan phong i appreciate your corrections and opinions. Next time i will be careful about...

Writing FeedbackGlobal guy - Nov 25, 2010 / Global guy - Nov 26, 2010
What is the most important animal in your country (cow in India)?

5 - These are my first 2 paragraps edit. I hope it helps =>Animals are extremely important in the country's economy....

Writing Feedbackvaishali1980 - Nov 25, 2010 / KathyLala - Nov 25, 2010
From China to America: Culture Shock (food, manner) - living in a new country

7 - Kevin: You are sooo sweet! I am not a good writer at all, but thanks for the confidence-boost. I...

Writing FeedbackKianna - Nov 2, 2010 / Kianna - Nov 25, 2010
"Countries of residence of overseas students in Australia" graph for ielts

6 - The chart shows the trend of the number of foreign students in Australia between 1982 and 2000. We...

Writing Feedbacksweetheart87 - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 25, 2010
IELTS : Why should we learn how to operate a computer?

5 - Nice! I like this term... Capitalize Internet. You gave good topic sentences for the paragraphs! So.....

Writing Feedbackanb_duck - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 25, 2010
It's good that government taxes the flights, especially in the period of holiday

5 - You can also write "heavier" I agree with the statement that government should be try to reduce air...

Writing Feedbacksweetheart87 - Nov 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 25, 2010
"Stop working for child?" IELTS essay

2 - very nice topic..:) in paragraph 3: ...,being a scientist etc etc is not formal.you use ''and so on.'' instead...

Writing Feedbacklilyace - Nov 23, 2010 / mervischsouth - Nov 25, 2010
Struggling with an ethical decision at the age of 12

4 - The first 4 sentences... I think they are the sentence you need to to write to get warmed up......

Writing Feedbackkipta - Nov 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 24, 2010
Working women have happier lives. for or against?

4 - it is good topic, and sure to write in possitive only. more and more advantage to the society...

Writing Feedbackmervischsouth - Nov 22, 2010 / aishwary18 - Nov 24, 2010
It is not good to move to a new city because you will lose old friends.

4 - You are right. I agree that the fourth paragraph which is about they will lose some of old friends...

Writing Feedbacksaracoo - Nov 21, 2010 / saracoo - Nov 23, 2010
Persuasive essay on implementing uniforms at schools

6 - thank you very much...sadly i don't think that my class is going to continue the essay thing.Looks like we're...

Writing FeedbackSr7248 - Nov 10, 2010 / Sr7248 - Nov 22, 2010
Why do some students still drive cars than riding a bus? (Evaluation)

2 - I'll add some commas to this sentence: Parker's argument is much more applicable in a city with extremely good...

Writing Feedbackfrankzzsword - Nov 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 22, 2010
SAT essay: Progress is not possible without a sacrifice

2 - i say it's a 3 or 4. you support the theme well by providing examples, but you also have...

Writing Feedbackvahelo - Nov 19, 2010 / meytng - Nov 22, 2010
IELTS: Why qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries? Your opinion?

2 - Hi Brain- drain is one of the major problems in the third world countries.Most of their educated professionals migrate...

Writing Feedbacksobin - Nov 21, 2010 / dumi - Nov 21, 2010
Improving education of school is the most important factor for successful development

3 - i agree with you. enducation plays a vital role in enhancing one country's economy and even global status. i...

Writing Feedbackyolada - Nov 20, 2010 / weina - Nov 21, 2010
IELTS:recycling is an essential measure to save the environment

3 - hi LIU thanks for the corrections..:-)...

Writing Feedbacksobin - Nov 20, 2010 / sobin - Nov 21, 2010
Describe your grandmother who is important to you (150 words)

5 - When people say show, don't tell, it means you should not make a claim when you could instead give...

Writing Feedbackquynhtranghbt - Nov 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 21, 2010
"My Wonderful Sister" - proofread my paragraph

4 - ...gives me good advices advice and I can trust... You write very well, but I think you...

Writing FeedbackNonita - Nov 12, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 21, 2010
Congestion and air pollution because of increasing number of private cars

2 - Hi huong vu, First, it's under word limitation and you might be getting penalty for this. There are...

Writing Feedbackhuongvt - Nov 11, 2010 / adriennelin - Nov 20, 2010
TOEFL Essay: Physical health is a prerequisite for mental health and academic achievements

5 - Ilaria, you are a hero! I hope you and xinru li both check out essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page. I want to...

Writing Feedbacklurian - Nov 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 20, 2010
IELTS: students can learn outside the textbook and classroom with a real working experiences

3 - Hi Keven, This is taught by an IELTS examiner. His reasons for writing like this have something to...

Writing Feedbackadriennelin - Oct 29, 2010 / adriennelin - Nov 20, 2010
"Fewer and fewer employment opportunities for graduated entereing the job market"

2 - Hi, I think you wrote off-topic, and this is quite serious. The topic asks you to give reasons...

Writing Feedbackuprightfellow - Nov 19, 2010 / adriennelin - Nov 20, 2010
"The Business of being Born" essay

3 - Thank you!!!!!...

Writing FeedbackFlutter92 - Nov 1, 2010 / Flutter92 - Nov 20, 2010
TOEFL "Why are some people attracted to dangerous sports?" - to fight boredom

3 - It is well written, indeed. I see you used three arguments here. What I recommend is that you only...

Writing FeedbackIrrational - Nov 3, 2010 / Paullee - Nov 19, 2010
IELTS WRITING: bad information in film books and internet should be controlled?

3 - hi if u add some more counter argumment it will be good.Because the way of topic is like that..''give...

Writing Feedbackeaglet008 - Oct 21, 2010 / sobin - Nov 19, 2010
Leaders that had effect on the world

5 - Capitalize: During the time he was the king of Jordan he made a great achievements and contributions in his...

Writing Feedbackzaid_86 - Nov 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 18, 2010
Dress code is an epidemic. Colleges and universities shouldn't have a dress code

4 - Thanks Ninja, for the time you spent here!!! I'll pick up where you left off... How someone...

Writing Feedbackrona - Nov 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 18, 2010
Term paper over different types of Love - Need a peer edit and ideas for conclusion

2 - I don't think you need this sentence, because the reader already knows what puppy love refers to... ...

Writing Feedbacknn8nk - Nov 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 18, 2010
"to certify a career" - What are the aims of academic study and how to achieve them?

2 - This essay will explore the aims of academic study and various ways of achieving them in accordance to ...

Writing Feedbackajwadalikhan - Nov 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 18, 2010
Mandy, a beautiful black dog - Write a descriptive paragraph

4 - I came to notice that she befriended people with more calm calmer personalities and those who seem to be...

Writing FeedbackJovine - Nov 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 18, 2010
Are we too dependent on computers?

6 - EF_Kevin thank you I will do it from today :)...

Writing Feedbackmohab1220 - Nov 4, 2010 / mohab1220 - Nov 18, 2010
Never, never give up: what a wonderful word

5 - brightness future Don't tell about what you think, but what you do,where is the specific example?...

Writing Feedbackhaliuq900207 - Nov 17, 2010 / andygu - Nov 17, 2010
IELTS essay: Ban on smoking in public places is a must!

5 - I think essay itself is good but the point that you argued is not enough strong. I think it...

Writing Feedbackpollyg - Nov 6, 2010 / tbvjaos555 - Nov 17, 2010
"going outside or performing physical exercise" - (important issue) Topic - Obesity

2 - I see that Courtney already corrected your grammar here. On behalf of Nathan, Thanks, Courtney! I've learned...

Writing Feedbackbigblueduck - Nov 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2010
Tiryns and Athens - Compare and contras essay: two cities

3 - Tiryns and Athens are two cities in which I have lived. Each place has its advantages and disadvantages. (Add...

Writing Feedbackeshotcan - Nov 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2010
"managing a salon full of 10 employees" - Negative Experience CBEST writing

4 - wow! This does make the essay sounds better. thank you....

Writing Feedbackmelenie - Nov 12, 2010 / melenie - Nov 15, 2010
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. a paragraph discussing a common cliché.

3 - ...meet but my aunt refused, "W e don't eat pig meet in my country." I like this proverb!!--->...

Writing FeedbackZubaida - Nov 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2010
Negative influences of computers on children - essay

3 - In my strong opinion, the development of computer technology and Internet technology such as a form of the internet...

Writing Feedbackriny - Nov 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Nov 14, 2010

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