Graduate / "Review on SOP for MS-CS/MCS with work experiences in 2 different companies" [2]


This paragraph is only acceptable in a college application personal statement. It is not relevant to an MSc statement of purpose. It would be best to not use this piece of writing. Rather, replace it with a professional motivational statement if you can. I am sure that you have a professional motivation that directly relates to your purpose right? You will create an more interesting opening hook if you write it that way.

Paragraph 4 is too long. You need to shorten that presentation. It is too technical when it should be focused on proving your hands on skills instead. Remember, the discussion is about your purpose for studies, any paragraph that is too long and unrelated to the purpose discussion could be skipped by the reviewer, lessening the consideration possibility for your application.

Paragraph 5 is more related to the personal statement as well since it covers your other activities and personal interests, non-important discussion points in a purpose presentation. These are not connected in any way to your purpose for studies.


Discuss your potential thesis and how it relates to your professional purpose for studies. This will be your possible thesis project presentation as a part of your graduation thesis. This may change later on, but needs to be mentioned in your application.

Research Papers / Research Paper on Universal Healthcare. Need three indications of a weakness within essay. [2]


Offer a reason for this reasoning presentation. Not everyone will agree with you regarding the connection of personal health, regardless of the pandemic status, with the growth of the economy. You are thinking only in terms of the pandemic scenario. You must thing in terms of everyday economic situations, beyond the pandemic, and within the New Normal for this reasoning to be accepted by the reader.


As evidence by what historical evidence? Some would say that the government did not commercialize healthcare, but the insurance companies did through undue influence in hospitals and partnering with doctors. Think of the reasons why someone would oppose your view and try to argue against them whenever you make a claim.


SDG is often seen as being only applicable to third world countries. You can include a quick explanation of why Healthcare is an SDG for the US government and also, indicate what these goals are in terms of securing Universal Healthcare for the citizens.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, robots do more and more jobs instead of humans.Does this development have more advantages [2]

While there is a strength in the way that you restated the prompt topic and you gave an acceptable opinion in the first paragraph, you were not able to properly defend your point of view in the reasoning paragraphs. You have to understand, the examiner expects you to use logic and reasoning when discussing the A v. D essay. That means, in one paragraph, you need to clearly present a disadvantage reason, but turn around the reasoning for that and explain why it is an advantage instead. That means, the format for this essay should be:

Sentence 1: Disadvantage presentation
Sentence 2: Reason for disadvantage
Sentence 3: Counter argument transitin ( Reason it is an advantage)
Sentence 4: Example that proves your point
Sentence 5: Supporting explanation

I have seen that the examiners score the students better in the A v. D essay when they use the aforementioned written debate format in their reasoning paragraphs. They tend to deliver higher scores when the exam taker uses this format due to the strength of the coherence and cohesiveness presentation. The examiner can better assess your logic and English grammar skills when using this debate comparison format in 2 paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / What type of music are you keen on? What are the songs you often listen to? [2]


In order for this quotation to be effective in your speech, you need to provide the actual name of the person you are citing. Otherwise, this is just an empty quote that will not catch the ear of the listener. A speech needs to open with an effective hook. Using your own words, through your personal experience or considerations for the speech topic would have been more effective. Since you are falling on your own interpretation of these words within the opening spiel, then maybe, you do not need to use this quote?


This is a formal speech. No room for English slang here. Use the complete words. You want to show your listeners and your teacher that you can use grammatically correct and, academically acceptable English.


There is no need to refer to a time frame in this case. You can just go directly to mentioning the song since it is a current pop favorite. Gear your words towards the age of your audience. A time reference needs to be used only if you are talking to people who are say, the age of your parents or older, who may not be familiar with the singer.


Another informal word reference. You need to remember that you are writing mainly for a grade here. Your teacher will be looking for proper use of English words and references. No short cuts or quick references can be allowed in this case.

Writing Feedback / Encouraging youth, that if they do their best, they can be successful and gain anything as expected [2]

The writer has displayed a well developed sense of logic and reasoning in the presentation. The prompt was clearly understood and restated. The discussion instruction was well addressed and the writer avoided the common mistake of giving a personal opinion in a simple advantage v. disadvantage essay.

As for the reasoning paragraphs, the first reason provided was sound, but did not connect well enough with the second reason provided. Rather than using the transition word "Another", the sentences should have used a transition bridge to connect the two reasons instead. The reference "This motivation will help children.." would have been a better connector between the two reasons. The 2 reasons should always highlight the connection between two otherwise seperate reasons to highlight the ability of a writer to coherently discuss a topic using cohesive sentences.

When using numerical ordinals, use these in the correct form. Do not combine numerical reference formats as this creates a grammatical error for the writer (Firstly, secondly, thirdly as opposed to first, second, third). The second reasoning paragraph was better explained and connected in the presentation. Very minimal errors exist in the paragraph.

The conclusion is just as well developed as the prompt paraphrase at the start. The writer shows the potential to score highly in an actual test provided more practice essays are completed in various writing formats.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Opinion Essay Writing Task: "Prevention is better than cure". [3]


Right thought, wrong idea presentation. The more accurate presentation would have been; "I agree TO the extent that..." since you are representing a degree of agreement. The idea is to present the end of your agreement with the topic. There is no need to represent the reason for your disagreement since you are asked for the measure of your agreement or disagreement. Pick one of the two discussion choices to represent in the essay. This is still a single opinion essay rather than a comparative discussion.


You are not being asked to present a solution to a perceived problem in the discussion instruction so this sentence is a total waste of word count and discussion space. It will not receive a score and instead, will lower your TA score due to a change in your discussion slant from the original.

Try to focus on only aspect of the discussion. Since you already agreed that the prevention is more important, then focus on that discussion alone. Do not contradict yourself in the discussion by agreeing with both sides. It is either you agree the cure is more important or the research is more important. Either agree or disagree. Create a clear opinion for yourself of risk being scored based on the lack of a clear, one sided opinion.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss both views : Economic growth [2]

Kindly remember that you have to create a strong and convincing personal opinion. This needs to be based upon rational and believable discussion points in a fully developed, stand-alone paragraph. The conclusion is used only to restate the previous discussion. When you state your personal opinion in the conclusion, you create an open-ended essay that could very well result in a failing score. Why is it a failing score? There is no summary recap as required by the summary conclusion. As the name of that paragraph indicates, it is a summary, not a personal opinion or reasoning paragraph.

If you wish to create a better debate for this essay, use the compare and contrast format for the reasoning presentations. That means, you will accomplish 2 things in 2 reasoning paragraphs:

- Prove why an advantage is a disadvantage
- Explain why an advantage is a disadvantage

The basis of the explanations will be your understanding of the public opinion, using both the third person and first person pronouns for clarity of presentation.

You did a very good job in the restatement + personal opinion. You also provided general discussion points that would have been improved by the proper use of third person pronouns in the paragraphs to differentiate it from your personal opinion. The main error in this presentation is the discussion of, or lack thereof, of the personal opinion in the conclusion. Remember, do not use the conclusion for your personal opinion as this does not create a true closing summary for your discussion. It does not matter if you state "In conclusion" because the examiner will read the paragraph and immediately identify it as a non-conclusion and score it accordingly. The best way to avoid that problem is to merge your personal opinions with the public discussion points in a proper manner.

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Living in villages has both pros and cons [2]

Your prompt restatement does not make a clear connection with the original prompt. The original discussion simply stated that the discussion is to be based on a a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community. The writer is not being asked to perform any assessment of the topics that could lead to a presentation of a personal opinion. Rather than a personal opinion, the last part of the first paragraph should only state one advantage sentence topic and one disadvantage sentence topic. Based on the prompt restatement + response guidelines, the writer failed to properly represent the original prompt.

The discussion patterns of the writer are acceptable. However, the cohesiveness of the paragraphs need to be better developed to increase the C+C score that is reliant of the proper connection between reason 1 and reason 2 in a paragraph. For example, the focal point of the first reasoning paragraph is pollution. Therefore, the second reason should indicate the relationship of pollution with the small community. This would be a greater disadvantage representation since it will clearly connect the small community discussion to the anchor topic.


You cannot use a numerical ordinal in a paragraph if there is no series that follows it. You need not always count or numerically list your reasons. You can just discuss the topics directly and use connecting phrases instead. Build your transition words, phrases, and sentences abilities to further increase your GRA score.

This is not an opinion essay but a general discussion. Therefore, the writer's personal opinion should not be reflected anywhere in the presentation.Not in the introduction, not in the conclusion. This is a direct prompt alteration that will have negative scoring results for the writer in the end.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay What will you study [2]

While the writing allowance is 30 minutes, you are not expected to use all of that time just writing the essay. You need to work on your time allottment skills in this case. No more than 20 minutes should be used to complete the opinion paper draft, with the remaining 10 minutes being used to correct and polish your presentation. Do not fall into the habit of using the full time allowance for the writing alone. You will definitely leave some errors uncorrected, which will lead to a lowering of your final score.


This is not a good way to kick off your TOEFL introduction paragraph. Just like the IELTS test, you do not need to provide an empty transition sentence at the end. You need to provide the start of the discussion instead. In fact, the difference between the IELTS and TOEFL tests is that the first requires a thesis statement while the second, does not. You should begin your discussion of your opinion within the first paragraph due to the shorter writing time allowance.


The last few sentences of this paragraph should focus on the way that the music at the museum impacted your interest in traditional and historical music. Shorten the discussion about non-related, but introductory activities next time. Always focus your explanations on the main discussion point.

Overall, you have shown a keen understanding of the prompt. Your efforts to discuss your opinion remained on the relevant side although there were instances of straying from the original topic which is historical music. While the sentences are not perfectly written in the English language, the opinion of the writer remained clear throughout the presentation.

Graduate / Warwick essay draft a brief (4,500 characters maximum) personal statement [2]

The mention of your parents as your first motivating factor requires more explanation and motivation development. What jobs do your parents hold? How did they expose you to the various facets of the job that made you interested in what they are doing? What personal passion do you have for the job that stems from that exposure? Why would your parent's motivation be important to you because of these reasons?

Your work experience will be considered notable by the reviewers but but your proudest achievement could do better. Since this achievement was a team effort rather than a personal one, your role in the success of the project could be considered minimal by some. It would be advisable to relate an achievement that shows your skills in perseverance, analysis, predictive analysis, and the like, without the input of others. That way the achievement comes across as being based solely on your vision.

While you mentioned several keypoints from the course syllabus, you neglected to mention how the CORE values of Warwick fit into the discussion. You are specifically asked about that in the written interview guide so you must provide at least a one paragraph discussion in relation to it.

Undergraduate / The pandemic influence on your activities in community [3]

I will acknowledge the importance of religion in your household and within your personal life. Your dedication to spreading the word of God during a pandemic is truly admirable. However, you are applying to a non-denominational university that does not celebrate religious events and gatherings. So, while this event showed how you positively influenced the community, prolethesyzing may not be something acceptable to the UBC community as a whole. It is always best to take a neutral stance regarding religion when applying to colleges and universities, unless you are applying to a specific religion based academic institution.

UBC is a publicly funded research based university. Their point of view is, more often than not, based upon science, which is something that does not agree with your religious point of view. Therefore, it would be better to avoid such references which may lower your chances of being admitted into the university.

Writing Feedback / Traveling purposes and problems related to the traveling public of Americans in the year 2009 [2]


Since you did not provide a copy of the charts, I cannot accurately consider the information you are providing. The image reference is too generalized for the examiner to get a better idea of how the information is being presented to the writer. Always identify the type of image. If it is a chart, indicate if it is a bar chart, pie chart, columnar chart, or what have you.


No need to exaggerate. You are being asked to write an accurate depiction of the information in the summary presentation. The examiner knows that exaggerated references will never be part of the presentation. Though such references add life to the report, you are not writing a creative paper here but an academic review. The need for flashy descriptions are not needed nor required.


Again,, there is no image attached so what is obvious to you, is not obvious to your reader. Do not make these sorts of references because it does not make you sound smart. It makes you sound annoying instead, which is not a tone that should be found in an academic paper.

Writing Feedback / What may be the causes of food shortage in the future? What can be done to prevent it? [2]


Please offer clear responses to the questions provided. The examiner has no use for your empty repeat of the questions provided. Such an act cannot be scored as it is not part of the task accuracy requirement. For the task response requirement, you need to provide an outline of how you plan to respond to the questions by offering related single sentence references to the questions. Direct responses that you will be building upon in the reasoning paragraphs. These discussion outlines will help create a clear idea of what your opinion regarding the discussion is. These responses are what can be given a score in the accuracy section.


You must avoid presenting connected ideas in a single sentence. This is a run-on sentence that, when divided only by commas, force the examiner to fail your score due to C+C and GRA problems in the presentation. Regardless of the number of reasons you present in the paragraph, if these are not properly formatted in the sentence presentations, the paragraph will still get a failing score.


You did a better job of explaining the solutions you believe will work in relation to the causes of food shortage. However, the solutions are still too numerous, with little developed explanations. So the C+C score will be lowered just the same.

You seem to have been misinformed as to how to write this test. You are not tested on the number of resaons you can provide. You are not going to pass the test just because you kept writing until the time ran out. You will only pass the test if the grammar requirements for English sentence writing are met. You will only be considered for a passing score if you effectively explain connected reasons in the paragraph, without confusing the presentation by using run-on sentences.

This is a good effort. There is evidence that you understand English questions well enough to provide acceptable responses. The problem, is that you are not presenting the response sentences in acceptable formats. Work on less run-on sentences, more connected reasoning topics and discussions, and the clarity of your explanations. These are the factors that will determine if you will pass or fail the test.

Scholarship / MY STIPENDIUM HUNGARICUM SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION ESSSAY FOR BS.c MEDICINE AND SURGERY. [3]

Your account was previously suspended by the forum administrators and moderators, which led to the deletion of your first post. That is why you did not receive any advice on that essay. You appealed the decision to ban your account at this forum and, you were given a second chance. You violated rules which is why you did not get any advice. Do not make it appear as if your post was ignored. We do not ignore posts here unless it is necessary to do so due to forum rules violations. In this case, you know what you did and why you did not receive advice.

It is important for you to understand that the Hungarium Stipendum scholarship has a series of motivational letter questions that you must accurately respond to. These questions are readily available online and not comprised of merely 2 questions. Review the prompt questions as provided in the application packet. You will see that you have regretfully failed to provide the necessary information to make your application considerable to the review committee. This is the type of personal statement that would work if you were applying for college admission. It is not worthy of consideration as a Hungarium Stipendum application though.

You cannot revise this essay. Rather, you need to provide a new essay that better responds to all the written interview questions that comprise the motivational letter for this application.

Writing Feedback / The impact of information technology on the way people treat each other today [2]


This particular reference is no longer necessary in the presentation. You provided a strong prompt restatement in the first part, then the responses that you provided to the direct questions were also highlighted in your opinion paragraph. There is no need to repeat the discussion instructions since your restatement and responses already did that, without dumbing down the examiner.


There need to be a series if commas seperating these references in the listing. The pause inbetween is necessary for statement clarity. It offers the reader a chance to pause and better understand what you are saying.


There either needs to a period in between the words "suitable" and "A". There is a confusion in this part of your writing. It does not make sense as the reference is unclear to the reader.

The overall essay becomes difficult to understand because you are not dividing your presentation sentences into individual ideas. Rather, you are using run-on sentences, which do not properly connect to one another. Hence, the reader will come away confused and bothered by your writing. The overall GRA and C+C scores for this essay will be failing due to the stress of having to read your statements and the lack of clarity and cohesiveness in your writing. This essay will not get an overall passing score.

Research Papers / Benefits of Legalizing Marijuana in Arizona [3]


This is an incorrect claim. There are several states that have legalized the distrubution and sale of Marijuana. You cannot make such a statement anymore. Your statement must reflect the divided nature of this discussion instead. Even better, state that this discussion covers only the state of Arizona rather than the whole of 50 states.


You cannot use cited information in the opening paragraph. The introduction must contain the logical thought presentation of the writer, based on his discussion point and results target. There is no room for in-text citation or paraphrased information at this point. This is only the establishing paragraph afterall.


The first and second paragraph content needs to be compressed into a proper introduction + thesis statement presentation. By removing the cited information in the first paragraph and lengthening the personal insight of the writer, the compressed paragraph would make for a far stronger introduction to the topic, reasons for the research, and its future importance in the discussion.

* Limited review provided due to the length of the paper. Please contact us privately for more comprehensive services.

Letters / MSc in Applied Mathematics - MOTIVATIONAL LETTER OF THE STIPENDIUM HUNGARICUM [3]


You do not need to specificy this part. It should be removed from the essay. It is unnecessary.


Mention the universities directly as a part of the summarized information of your intent.


Useless and unnecessary.


Never mention award winners in a negative manner when writing an application essay. It is better to not mention any notable names at all since you never know when such negative mentions will work against your application.


Do not repeat the course curriculum unless you can directly connect every aspect to a clear motivating factor on your part. The reviewer already knows the course syllabus and need not be reminded what these are.

It appears that you forgot to read or refer to the written interview questions as you progressed with your writing. Your responses stopped halfway through the questionnaire. You must make sure that you address all of the interview questions. You cannot answer these selectively but, you can answer these in combined paragraphs.

Undergraduate / UBC Personal Profile. One of the activities that had been the most impactful to me, would be fitness [2]

You cannot use physical fitness as one of the activities in this essay. That is because the reference will need a point person as reference. Since your gym was closed during the lockdown period, your personal trainer will not be able to verify the information you are presenting in this essay. The reviewer will not take your word for it. The claims throughout the essay will need to be verified through a personal interview who directly supervised you during these activities. Change this reference. I am sure you can find another activity that can easily be verified by the reviewer when the time comes.

The remote internship may work better in this instance because, even though you were not directly seen at the office, you were required to check in virtually, for assessment purposes. If you can replace the physical activity with something similar to this internship, your essay will be more verifiable on the part of the reviewer.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Men and women should share equal responsibility for doing household chores [2]


As this is a restatement of the original topic, the writer is not allowed to add information to the rephrasing that would alter the content of the original. In this case, there is no reference in the original to a "truth" about any information. This is a prompt alteration that will negatively affect the task accuracy of the restatement. Avoid making any additional claims in your restatement to avoid such score reductions. Always restate in a matter-of-fact manner. No deductions, no additions to the claim.


Please make sure that you stop this habit of adding information to the task accuracy related paragraphs of the essay. You can only use such information in the reasoning paragraphs. The aforementioned addition once again changes the original statement. The summary conclusion is expected to accurately restate the original topic a second time. You do not need to embellish on it.

Writing Feedback / There is an increasing number of students who decide to quit high school. Cause and solution ? [2]


Avoid the use of non-academic, memorized phrases such as this one. It is not only an exaggeration of the original prompt, but it also does not offer a logical point of view based on the given topic. Rather than saying "more and more", you could have instead said "There are some students..." Such a reference is academic and non-sensational in presentation. It shows a logical line of thinking without going overboard in your sentiment.

I will commend your response to the questions provided though. You have created a well thought out response to the questions that clearly indicate what your upcoming reasoning discussions will be about. This is an effective thesis statement even though the grammar is not perfect. The grammar is not so much of a problem though since your thought process is still easily understood by the reader.


Kindly remember the noun usage rules. Proper nouns covering the names of people, places, and things are always capitalized. Be careful and ensure that you follow English grammar use guidelines to avoid heavy GRA deductions in your individual scoring segment.


Non-academic word. Do not use these terms as it is seen as a lazy form of writing in an academic setting. It is frowned upon and will affect your C+C scores.


This is an unclear reference. The money part refers to parents, it does not refer to pressure on students. It is more than likely you did not translate this sentence properly from your local language, which is why you delivered an incoherent statement.

You need to add more punctuation practice work during your writing exercise time. There are several instances of missing or incorrect punctuation usage in your essay. These will have direct negative effects on your GRA score. Do better in these areas to ensure less deductions during the actual test.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: Attending Evening Courses In Both Sexes (2 Charts) [3]

Kindly refer to the original prompt description and instruction for clarification of the summary overview content of your work. Note that the images were identified separate in terms of image representation and content. Therefore, your prompt restatement + trending statement should reflect the original presentation. You did not individually identify the images and related content. You incorrectly identified the images as both graphs, rather than a bar graph and a pie chart, as per the original. This section is already going to be given a failing score for misidentifying the images and incorrectly relating the image information in your restatement. Although you identify a pie chart in your trending statement, it should first be identified as such in the image identifier sentence of the restatement section.

Scholarship / Voluntary and leadership experience for commonwealth shared scholarship. [3]

No, the presentation does not match. You are relying heavily on your academic leadership experience when the voluntary and leadership experience for this essay should be focused on your leadership role as it applies ot your career progression. While the voluntary experience deals with how you help your community as an adult through socio-civic activities in charitable groups, institutions, or office related community activities such as holiday charities and other similar events. I am sad to say that this experience presentation will not even meet the minor standards of the review committee. The other applicants will have actual professional and adult community related leadership and volunteer references to speak of. Experiences that will prove they are emerging leaders who can influence a positive change in their country based on their current status in life. These qualifications that you present will not be considered at the same level as those of proper professional and age appropriate volunteer and leadership experiences. You are applying for a masters scholarship, that means you are of a certain notable position in your professional career already. If all you have to refer to is your undergraduate experience, without any professional and adult age community service or volunteer activities references at all, then your application will have already failed.

Writing Feedback / What are the advantages of travelling by air? [3]

It is impossible to discuss advantages without referrring to the comparison point of the alternative travel type. While such comparisons are inferred in the paragraph, the writer has not provided convincing evidence to prove his point. For example, when a person travels by road, a trip that would take 3 hours by car will only take 40 minutes by air. Similar comparison points for the other air travel advantages should be made throughout the presentation to further enhance the logic and / or sound discussion that you are providing. Doing so will help you avoid parenthesis presentations that do not really help since these tend to seperate themselves from the actual discussion or presentation. Emphasizing the safety of air travel due to the easily avoidable traffic accidents would have enhanced this presentation as well. Remember that giving blanket claims will be met with questions by the reader. Questions that can easily be responded to by presenting valid examples for your claims.

Writing Feedback / Cambridge,Test 3 - the figures of four destinations of the graduates and postgraduates in England [2]

The summary overview must always include the number of images provided and how the information is divided within the images. In this case, there are 2 charts presented, each with half the information for the report. So the images must be divided into 2, with the divisions for each made clear to the reader. As for the trending statement, the similarity needs to indicate if this is an upward or downward similarity for the information you are presenting. The lack of these representatiions make this summary overview a bit faulty in terms of task accuracy. The rest of the report, though a bit grammatically incorrect, still conveys the correct reporting information. So the rest of the task should bring in a decent score for you. This might be a passing essay, but not a very high scoring one.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: The percentage of numerous functions that mobile phone owners took advantage of [2]


Mention at least 4 of the functions in this place. That way, when you mention 3 more functions in the trending statement, the reader will have a clear idea of what the contents of the table actually are.


Actually, there is a 2 year gap between measurements so you cannot refer to a general timeline count in this case. Rather, mention the years individually for clarity purposes. It is important to be specific about the data since a heavy scoring consideration for the task 1 essay is information accuracy in relation to the task.


If the 66% reference belongs to a different year, you need to make sure to mention that. This information report is a bit confusing to the reader. Prioritize clear year and measurement references in relation to one another when referring to a heavy data based report. It will ber best for you to always start the paragraph with the year reference so that the reader has an anchor point for the forthcoming comparisons. They do not have to look for it or get confused by the references if it comes later in the presentation.

Overall, a pretty good start. You may want to consider using a scannable sentence and paragraph presentation next time. It will help ease your worry when it comes to the clarity of your information presentation in any task.

Scholarship / Academic objectives which lead to long-range goals; producing accessible and satisfactory videogames [3]

The academic objective that you present is not impressive. All the goals you have presented here are not uncommon for any gamer or budding game software developer these days. It creates an ordinary image for your interests and academic objectives. It does not stand out. It lacks a "Wow!" factor that can catch the reviewer's attention and have him say "This student gets a spot!"

Think of an academic objective that could improve the gaming field. Analyze how you can use the games to make society or the world a better place to live. Do you want to create a learning tool that happens to bring fun and enjoyment to the process? Think about deeper gaming applications in real life then consider how the classes you will be taking and the university community can help you achieve that.

I know you only have 100 words to work with but, with the proper blending of interests and reasons, you can create a stellar statement.

Writing Feedback / Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful [2]

Kindly contact me privately for a scored review. That is a more intricate and comprehensive review that is not covered by our free review services. The following general review will be a good measurement of how well you might do during the test though. It will give you an idea as to whether you will pass or fail, depending upon your presentation alone.


You did a good job in the restatement. However, when it comes to creating your opinion statement, please remember that when you opt to write using the 3 reasoning format for this essay, you should present one topic alone alone to support your opinion. By presenting a clear supporting topic for your opinion, you end up with a stronger opinion statement. You do not need several personal reasons, only one solid reason since you only have 5 sentences in every paragraph to solidly explain the topic statement.

Now, the 3 reasoning format you have chosen (the other choice being a 2 reasoning paragraph public and personal opinion consideration) requires you to disscuss both public views in a manner that clearly reflects the public opinion in your explanation. While a general explanation is acceptable, the use of third person group pronouns will make it clear to the examiner that you are not referring to a general personal point of view. This is a clarity requirement that is needed because the essay refers to "Some people" and "Others" in the original presentation. A clear 3rd person point of view reference.

Only when you have compared these opinions in individual paragraphs, can you present your personal opinion or support for one particular opinion in your 3rd personal opinion paragraph. This 3rd paragraph must use first person pronouns to highlight your personal opinion paragraph. Please note that your personal statement will need to be developed in a stand alone paragraph. Once you present your personal opinion in the conclusion, it will cause an automatic failing score. That is because the expected summary conclusion requirements were not met. Simply saying, "In conclusion" will not close the essay. The writing requirements for the concluding paragraph will need to be met because of the scoring considerations applied to each paragraph.

This is a good start. At least you have shown that you have a general understanding of the topic. It is the formatting and sentence structures that you have to pay attention to in your next test (of the same writing requirement).

Writing Feedback / I started learning English for a good job in the future [2]

The paragraph is written in reverse. The topic sentence, regarding what you will be writing about should be first (I'd like to talk about one of my days). Followed by what time your day starts ( I often get up), then the activity that starts your day (My mood is good when I start by studying English). The rest of the essay, about how you study and practice the English language can then follow. Remember that when you write an action paragraph, you need to outline the order in which these actions will be performed in the draft. Line then up from the first action, to the last. By doing so, you can develop a more understandable essay. If possible, avoid using English slang words (wanna) in your practice essays because you are not allowed to use slang words in academic writing. You might as well get used to it early on so that it does not become a habit for you.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss both views: Fictional violence [2]

Normally, this kind of writing would get an automatic failing score. You only wrote 227 out of 250 words, which means the preliminary score will receive appropriate percentage deductions based on the number of words lacking in relation to the minimum allowable word count. The essay will definitely start off with a failing score that the rest of the scoring considerations will have to overcome in order to garner a passing score. In this case, that may not be possible.


This is a false claim that should not be made in the prompt restatement. Please remember that there are 2 public opiunions being presented for the discussion topic. Therefore, nothing can be claimed as "undeniably true". This particular sentence should never be prsented in any discussion since it is not in compliance with the prompt restatement considerations. Only the next 2 sentences are actually needed for your prompt restatement + opinion presentation.

None of the reasoning paragraphs are properly presented. The format for this discussion must be as follows:

Sentence 1: Public opinion
Sentence 2: Reason for the public belief
Sentence 3: Writer's (dis)agreement with the given statement
Sentence 4: Writer's supporting reason based on a valid example
Sentence 5: Addiitonal explanation to support the example (if required or applicable)

This is the format that will guarantee that you meet all the scoring requirements from the word count up to the clarity of your opinion presentation. Your current presentation does not meet these requirements. This will be a failing test.

Undergraduate / Personal statement about what you learn from extracurricular activities [2]

Since you suffer from social anxiety, you can revise this essay to discuss how social anxiety led to your success in these 3 fields. Discuss the 3 in a collective manner since the focus of the presentation is on what you learned from and felt during curricular and/or extracurricular activities. You can say that by participating in all 3 activities, you learned that you had severe social anxiety and, by participating in these activities, you learned to overcome the fear and actually become a more sociable and well spoken person. What is good about you is that your 3 activities do no deviate from the one thing you had to overcome in high school. The basis is the same, which is exposing yourself socially(getting over your fear of socializing at the talent show), the anxiety was caused by the same thing (having to speak to other people in public), and the solutions are similar (you learned to become more social by becoming a better team player and properly expressing yourself). I believe that a blended discussion format would benefit your collective presentation best.

Writing Feedback / CPE-Read the two texts below. Write an essay summarizing and evaluating key points from both texts. [2]

Apologies for not basing the review of your essay on the Google Doc you sent a link to. We advise not accessing any files not located on our server due to possible malware, security, and virus issues, regardless of the server location. We do not advise that other students access off site files either. Essayforum will not be held liable for any damage that accessing such documents may cause your system. Reviews for such essays will be done without any reference to the exterior document. Students are advised to upload the text as an image file to our server instead.


There is a certain point in the discussion of these texts where the focuses diverge. Do not overlook the separation points of the text as these differences have an effect on the overall presentation as well. These must also be considered when reviewing the information for your evaluation.


Start this part with "I believe that..." since this is the part of the review that represents your opinion explanation in relation to your belief in the given discussion.


Rather, people have the urge to continously check if there are others interacting with them socially via their phones. This leads to their constant checking of the gadget. Your explanation was a bit incorrect in this part.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] A gap year instead of moving immediately to university to work or to travel [2]

We do not offer public scoring services as our scoring method is only an estimate of what score you might receive in an actual test. We only scores that use our private services as part of the review assistance offering. The free general review will give you an idea if you will pass or fail the test, regardless of the individual scoring rubic.


There is a big difference between an accelerating trend and some students opting to take a gap year. You have not properly restated the original topic because your reference point is a rate of increase in an action as opposed to the original prompt which is about students preferring or opting to take a gap year after high school graduaton. They have the choice to do it or not, that is different from a trend. To be clear:

Option - something that may be or is chosen; choice

Prefer - to set or hold before or above other persons or things in estimation; like better;

Trend - the general course or prevailing tendency

The word more related to the original keyword is option because it is a decision made by choice, such as taking a gap year from school.

When writing about an advantage or disadvantage topic, the idea is to argue the negatives as a positive. So choose 2 negatives for your reasoning topics, then discuss these negatives as a positive to prove your point. For example:

Disadvantage - Financial Problems Advantage - The student learns to become responsible with money because he has to work for his money rather than receive an allowance.

Do you see the point? It all about proving the other side of the argument to be wrong based upon your understanding of the actual advantages. This clarity of opinion based on a proper comparison discussion is what you missed pointing out in your response. You have only one positive discussion in this essay rather than 2. So the essay is not properly developed in terms of reasoning and evidence. It will only receive a score for the part of the essay that discusses the advantage. The other paragraph will not be receiving any points.

Writing Feedback / Children should grow up in a nurturing environment that allows them to develop their sense of self [3]

There are 2 problems with your prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. First, the topic outline as you have interpreted it contains personal insights and opinions that were not provided in the original presentation. This personal insight has created a different prompt statement from the original. So there was a failure to interpret the topic based on the foundation that was previously provided.

Second, as an extent essay, you are expected to provide an emotional (dis)agreement with regards to this public opinion. A quick review of your opinion statement shows that there is no "extent" response provided. Therefore, you have not provided the response based on the required answer format. This is another problem that will result in a less than passing task accuracy score.

Based on the task 2 question, it will appear that you have not even responded in a framework that reflects the original requirements at all. You have provided your own topic for discussion and your own response format. The result? An essay that cannot get a passing score because you changed everything about the original presentation.

If you are not responding to a task 2 essay but to a totally different English presentation task, then you should have mentioned it at the very start of this posting. This current review is based on the IELTS task 2 response essay requirements for this topic.

Writing Feedback / Should computer skills be added to primary subjects in elementary school? - IELTS WRITING TASK 2 [2]

We do not publicly score IELTS practice tests as the scores are meant for private assessment purposes. You may contact us privately for scoring services which include a far more intricate review of your essay. That said, you will still be able to judge how well you did or did not do with this current piece of writing based on the general advice provided.


What the examiner is looking for when he reads your opinion sentence is the basic reason behind it. Why do you believe your opinion is correct? Tell him about the reason for your view in a single sentence. The reviewer does not need to know that you will be explaining the reasons for your view, that is a given based on the instructions provided. The prompt + restatement should always clearly state:

- The topic based on the writer's understanding
- The public reason based on the writer's interpretation
- The (extent) opinion of the writer
- The reason(s) for the writer's opinion ( 2 topics maximum to cover the 2 reasoning paragraphs). This will be the thesis statement for the discussion paragraphs.

Following this format, you will achieve a better task score.


This is the actual topic for this paragraph. It should be presented as the anchor sentence / first sentence in the paragraph. The topic focus for the paragraph should come before the explanation. You cannot present your reasons first, then the topic after. The examiner bases the clarity of your paragraph on the topic anchor. So always anchor the topic first. Your explanation was good. It just was not placed in the correct position for it to bring a cohesive clarity to your paragraph. You did a better job of explaining your reason in the second paragraph. It has an anchor topic presented at the beginning.


Your summation is only 33 words. The requirement for this section is at least 40 words. What is missing is the restatement of your 2 reasons. Give a quick run-down of your reasons to meet the word requirement for this paragraph and also, prove that you are capable of delivering an effective reverse paraphrase to the examiner.

Graduate / MSc Business Analytics - Why are you an ideal candidate and how will the program help achieve goals? [2]

You appear to be a highly skilled candidate for your course of choice. However, these skills are over discussed to the point where you failed to discuss how the program will help you achieve your goals. Please remember that the response to the question is not an extended explanation of your resume. Rather, you are expected to show that you have analyzed and considered all the candidate requirements of the program, along with the course syllabus of the university you wish to attend. There is no reference to such a presentation in this over presented work biography.

It is this lack of familiarity with the program, in relation to your skills as a student and worker, that make this a failure as a purpose essay. You have to balance your abilities with your academic and future career goals. Do not merely explain how you acquired all of your skills through the years. That will not make you an ideal candidate. Although, it thoroughly explains your work background to the reviewer, who does not have too much use for this information without the program discussion.

Letters / Academic recommendation letter for an undergraduate in last year of high school [2]

The introduction of this letter must reference who you are, what your position in his class roster is (ex. teacher in charge, class adviser, subject teacher), when you were his teacher (specific grade level and year), and why you believe you were chosen by this student to write the recommendation letter. An indicator of how long you have been a teacher at the school will also help. The reviewer needs this information in order to assess your qualification as a teacher, observer, and authority to comment on the character of this person both as a student, team member or leader, and student community participant. This important aspect is missing in your opening presentation.

Sadly, this letter is well composed and uses creative English words to describe the student but does not reflect on an actual class assessment of intelligence, performance, ability to perform under pressure, and a sense of student civic mindedness. It is an essay that fails to reflect on the all around personality of the student in relation to the character, conduct, and student accomplishments as required. The essay fails to portray how the student overcomes obstacles and adversity in class. There is no reference to proper student community participation either. The information laid out is so generic, it sounds like the writer was only instructed to write these words, without actually knowing how to justify these in relation to the student's class and student community participation. It lacks the heart of a teacher who was truly interested in overseeing the development of the student.

The letter is lacking in all aspects of recommendation consideration and does not really sound like a teacher wrote the letter. It sounds horribly like a student just put it together in the hopes that the teacher will actually sign this letter. It cannot be used as a proper recommendation letter. Not unless a professional service is hired to clean up the letter to make it ready for use as a recommendation reference. Why do you think the student would be a perfect fit for the school he or she is applying to? Relate that information to your reference points.

The letter should also contain the contact information of the teacher such as an email address or international access phone number should the school the student is applying to wish to contact you for further information or discussion about the student you are recommending.

Writing Feedback / Advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world? (ielts writing) [2]


Incorrect response. You are not being asked to give an opinion on the topic. You are asked to provide a general discussion regarding the advantages and disadvantages of English as the dominant world language. Provide one advantage and one disadvantage topic, completely avoiding any personal opinion since it is not required in the prompt. Do not alter the prompt discussion requirement. That will result in score deductions as your restatement + opinion paragraph is no longer related to the original presentation. Do not add information to this part for any reason.


You are using this phrase out of context. Do not use English slang in reference to a formal and academic discussion. You must use an academic tone and avoid exaggerated references, such as this slang phrase. It does not have any place in academic writing.


Stop exaggerating. The examiners do not appreciate stretching the truth or over emphasizing information in the essays. This shows a lack of academic writing ability on the part of the student. The sense of logic in your writing disappears and the examiner is left with a piece of writing that lacks common sense discussion points.


Another prompt deviation. You are 3 for 3 in terms of severe deductions for this writing. Add to that the lack of proper sentence formation in the conclusion, which is 3-5 sentences or 2 sentences of at least 40 words and you will understand why this is not going to get a high score during an actual setting. Most specially since you have a habit of adding unimportant or non prompt related discussion points in certain aspects of this essay.

Writing Feedback / Holding an international sporting events benefits a country, or has negative consequences? [3]


This statement is not necessary in the prompt restatement section. Based on the original prompt, the paraphrasing should not cover more than 2 sentences, with an extra sentence thrown in to respond to the "state your opinion" part. That makes a total of 3 sentences only. You do not need an overworked introduction that accidentally begins to discuss an opinion or offers an insight that is not part of the original presentation. It ruins the task accuracy of the restatement + opinion paragraph. Stick to the original at all times to avoid any TA reductions.


This is a phrase that depicts uncertainty in your response. It indicates that you are not really sure of what your opinion is. This will result in a lower TA score because you do not have a clear opinion represented in the required section. Your opinion must always be presented from a position of strength, certainty, and clarity of thought. Otherwise, this will be another TA score deduction.


And? What else? Build on this explanation to tie in with your first reason. Since the two reasons are unrelated, this second reason is under developed and will reduce the cohesiveness and coherence score of this paragraph. When you see that you cannot fully explain a second reason, it is best not to do it. Do not force deductions from your score when it can easily be avoided by ommitting non-helpful presentations such as a little developed second reason in the same paragraph.


While you managed to represent the general audience opinion in the previous paragraph, you forgot to represent the same in this part which represents the other public opinion. The discussion would have been better if it had used the correct 3rd person group pronouns for the presentation. That way, the reader would not be confused and accidentally think that you are presenting a personal opinion already. If the examiner takes this discussion from your personal point of view, then this paragraph will have failed to represent the correct discussion format. That would be another score deduction, which would not bode well for your essay since there are already several deductions being applied to it.


You cannot place your little developed personal reason in the conclusion as a single sentence. The discuss both views and give an opinion prompt is more often than not presented as a 3 paragraph essay. Your personal opinion needing to be completely developed over 5 sentences in the same vein as the public opinion discussion presentation. The conclusion should summarize the preceding discussion in a manner similar to the prompt restatement+personal opinion paragraph. This time though, it represents the prompt restatement + comparative discussions. It will have 3-4 sentences at the most. 5 sentences if you actually try to stretch the summary.

Undergraduate / Fighting Ageism by Being Open and Being Bold - NTU Undergraduate Scholaship Essay [4]

You have improperly framed the discussion. You need to first state that you strongly believe that "age discrimination should be ended" and then explain how this is deeply ingrained in your thinking because of how your family treats the younger members. Only after establishing the personal element of this belief can you show how you embodied the discussion by fighting for your beleif by giving the youth of your school a voice.

You have a unique idea for this response which the reviewer might be impressed by. However, the presentation should be made more solid. The belief should also show some sort of success within your student campus to emphasize that you have made headway in fighting for your belief.

Use a more solid moment of school activisim as your example. It must have a positive outcome that supports your belief that youth discrminination should be ended. There is a potential to do that in your writing, you just have to know which event and outcome would best embody it. If you cannot do it there, then consider a family discussion set up instead. Any point in time when your voice was heard and listened to will work. It will not work as a belief example if you have not been able to effectively apply the belief in your real life.

Writing Feedback / Families that suffered from poverty in Australia - ielts writing tast 1 [3]

The first reason why this essay will get a failing score is the fact that it totally disregards the grammar rules for English writing. You are not even trying to properly write in English. The first word of every sentence is always capitalized. You inconsistently did that in this essay, You will fail the grammar section as you show a total disregard for English writing rules.

Since you did not upload the image for reference, I cannot say that your summary overview is accurate either. How can I trust that the data you are sharing is correct then? You did not even properly divide the presentation into 3 paragraphs.

You do not seem to be concerned about the validity and accuracy of your reporting essay at this point. Why are you even bothering to do this practice test? It is obvious you are not concerned about passing the actual test anyway. Why are you even wasting your time with this exercise then? You do not even try to meet the minimum 3 paragraph requirement for the presentation. You do not even try to create a more interesting analysis of the data provided. Very little analysis is used in your presentation. Nothing is properly nor completely developed based on the image data.

Your total lack of interest in the test preparation also leaves me disinterested in further helping you with your review for this test. If you want to get advice from me again, do a better job with your task presentation. At least show you are taking it seriously and that you are focused on passing the test by following the minimal and proper requirements for the presentation.