Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past [2]

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

One of the most unprecedented things is the rise in the number of people who choose to live alone. This trend for many citizens is an ordinary circumstance in this century, particularly in large cities. In my point of view, this issue could bring real drawbacks for them such as feelings of loneliness and reducing life expectancy.

The citizens living alone is likely to have frequent feelings of the loneliness. This is because they will gain a difficulty to connect and interact with others and feel losing emotional support of friends and family. For instance, adults who live in a place with the others would have daily conversation frequently with the surroundings. By contrast, when people stay alone in an apartment block, they could not share their problem and are often attacked by feelings of the loneliness. This can cause they to become more frustrated.

Another negative effect is that people who decide to live alone potentially lead to premature death. They have a tremendous risk to gain heart attack, stroke and cardiovascular diseases. A recent study by University of Malaysia in September 2014 showed that people who live alone are more likely to have the early death caused by stroke, heart attack or other complications rather than those who live with their family or in a communal institution. An immediate solution should be considered so that this problem does not become more complicated in society.

In conclusion, increasing in the number of the citizens living alone has showed negative sides. The most worrying drawbacks are feelings of the loneliness and health consequences. It is imperative that the citizens find friends to share the problems which they face.

Writing Feedback / A policy which places the international language in the educational curriculum of elementary schools [2]

Some experts believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Language skills are essential to be taught early. Some experts of educational departments argue that the best way to teach students about an international language is when they are in a grade of a primary school rather than a secondary school. I strongly believe that although students in the primary school will be occupied as the foreign language is included in an education curriculum, this step will bring many benefits for them.

A policy, placing the international language in the education curriculum in elementary schools, is considered to improve language ability of the students, but they will have a crowded schedule in the school. The primary school has many compulsory studies which should be learned by the children so that adding the foreign language will gain their playing time. A recent research in University of Bristol in 2014 found that 11% of the number of the students in several primary schools in London got daily stress as they were forced to learn four studies for 6-7 hours every day. However, I have a tendency that this can be tackled successfully on condition that an education system manages the schedule of all studies well.

In my point of view, teaching the international language in the elementary school is the best innovation to enhance the students' ability. The students will easily learn the foreign language like vocabulary and pronunciation by far better than elder people. An article in New Scientist's magazine in March 2013 showed that the children who aged 5-9 years old have the ability to understand the language easily. Although the children will face the full schedule, the school should apply learning the foreign language in the primary school because it is the necessary study to boost students' competence.

In conclusion, the foreign language should be introduced in the primary school since the benefits are outweighing the drawbacks. All negative effects faced by the school could be solved when parents support this decision. In any case, it is imperative that the elementary schools apply this step consistently.

Writing Feedback / Each country has distinct music types. Music is one of the most popular arts in the world. [3]

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Each country has distinct music types. Music is one of the most popular arts in the world and brings positive effects on humans like reducing hormones of stress. I would argue that the local music among all types of the music is the most essential for people since it is valuable inheritance

The music is really useful since it can relax people especially the classical music. This has a beneficial effect on physiological functions, lowering blood pressure, and decreasing the levels of the stress hormones. A recent study by University of Adelaide in December 2015 found that listening to the music on headphones reduces the stress and anxiety of patients in hospitals of Australia. Because it can help the patients, several countries in Europe have developed healthy technology by harnessing the music.

I strongly believe that the local music is more necessary than the international music. It is a precious heritage. People can learn and understand well about history and traditions of their country when they listen to the local music. An article in a Cosmopolitan's magazine in October 2014 displayed that the traditional music in Timor-Leste expresses spiritual cultural activities of citizens, and parents encourage their children to hear it. Government should require students of primary schools to learn about the traditional music since this policy can stimulate them to love their culture.

In conclusion, the music can help people more relaxed when they get the stress. The local music is believed that it is the most essential. It is imperative that the governments should campaign for preserving the traditional music.

Writing Feedback / Would the international student exchange be beneficial for all teenage school students? [2]

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

exchange program brings more positive aspects than the negative effects

A student exchange program is a way to enhance education of them. Some people argue that the International students will gain benefits and drawbacks when they learn abroad. I strongly believe that pupils will have many experiences after they study another country although they will deal with a difficult matter.

The overseas students will face an enormous problem. The pupils get shock culture when they are another country since each country has diverse culture. For example, in the country, someone who smiles to unknown people is a normal attitude, but it can become impolite in the other countries. A large number of students feel uncomfortable with that condition. However, it can be prevented on condition that they learn well about the culture of the destination country.

People who decide to continue their education abroad will gain many valuable experiences. They have a new perspective on culture, language skills, and the education. Those are essential experiences which can improve their performance when they work at a company. An article in a Time's magazine published in October 2015 that the international student has a huge opportunity to become a leader in the company since they have skills to lead people. Although the pupils have difficulty to adapt to another culture, they will learn vast knowledge which can be not given by their home countries.

In conclusion, the exchange program brings more positive aspects than the negative effect on the pupils. The overseas students need times to adapt another culture, but they have an excellent chance to develop their life skills. It is necessary that each country can apply this way to improve education in their countries.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A breakdown of how much wheat exported by three regions from 1985 to 1990 [2]

A breakdown of how much wheat exported by three regions from 1985 to 1990, a 6-year period is presented in the line chart. Overall, it is important to note that the proportion of the wheat exports for the figure in European community rose significantly, while Canada remained virtually unchanged. In any case, by far the lowest trend was seen in Australia.

Initially, the number of the wheat exports in Canada broke a record as the highest proportion at approximately 19 million tonnes. In the following year, Australia's exports significantly increased to 16%, while another figure saw a gradual decrease prior to increasing in 1987. Surprisingly, European community successfully over took Australia's figure in the export activity.

By 1988, the wheat exports of Canadians had continuously grown and peaked at 25 million tonnes. Meanwhile, European community had remained stable, with almost at a half of Canada's figure. In 1989, while the proportion of Canada exports experienced a dramatic drop by roughly 11 million tonnes, another region surpassed it. However, the previous trend rose back to the 1985 figure in the next year.

• 
  Untitled.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Nowadays, the crime level experiences a rise [2]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Nowadays, the crime level experiences a rise. There are a large number of factors which cause an increase of the crime rate such as lack of proper education. Actually, criminal activities can be surmounted with few solutions so that it does not grow such as governments which should improve education about dangers of criminal acts.

The growth of the criminal activities is caused by several reasons. First, due to a shortage of education about ethical norms in the society, a wide range of criminals commit wickedness commenced from ignorance in their community. For example, the young people damage public facilities because they do not know that it is criminality. Afterwards, poverty often leads the citizens to act an offence. The citizens who get difficulties in earning money will look for possibilities and doing the crime instead. To illustrate, an employee who needs money for education cost of his children is forced to steal at his office.

Fortunately, the level of crime can be decreased by few steps from both government and citizens. The governments can improve knowledge about building character in schools so that the students have a right character since child. For instance, the school possess a subject which includes norms in the society. In addition, parents should also observe to the growth of their children so that they can be guided to own good behaviour like counsel of the parents every night before they sleep.

All in all, the increasing of the crime level occurs because of few causes. In fact, it can be prevented by several solutions like ameliorating the education of the citizens. To overcome rapidly, the governments and the citizens should cooperate to handle these problems.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Power sources to cities and transports that are generated from fossil fuels [4]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport.

To what extent do yo agree or disagree with this opinion ?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Power sources to cities and transports that are generated from fossil fuels such as; the coal, oil and gas are converted to renewable energies which use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun. This process, producing the power of the alternative energy, needs a costing so much and is too complex. However, my view is that using the renewable energies give many benefits outweigh drawbacks to citizens such as a reduction of global warming emissions.

First, the process to generate the electric energies from the fossil fuels spend cost extremely and is so complex. This process needs so much budgets since it utilize a new technology which has extremely large capital cost. To illustrate, a country which wants to build solar energy stations spends the budgets highly to supplying devices: photovoltaics (PV), tracking systems, loads, and storage integration, grid monitors, and power electronics. After that, the process to produce the electric energies is extreme complex because the renewable energies often rely on weathers such as wind turbines which need the wind to turn blades.

However, I have a perspective that budgets to this process is unbalanced with many benefits which will be gained by the citizens. A increasing the supply of the renewable energy will allow the citizens to reduce the global warming emissions significantly. Based on research of Department of Energy's National in America, a 2009 UCS analysis finds that a 25 percent of renewable electricity standard will lower emissions by 277 million metric tons annually in 2025. In addition, facilities to produce renewable energy generally require less maintenance than the fossil fuels. This energy use the natural and available resource so that it reduces the costs of operation. For example, solar collectors need the sunshine to collect heat and make the electricity.

In conclusion, I fully disagree that the cost of using fossil fuels is so expensive. The renewable energy highly contributes the citizens' activities. I guess that the government in all countries should begin to consider using it.

(333 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A process about the system of air coming in and out of a house [2]

A process about the system of air coming in and out of a house is presented in the diagram. It is important to note that a large number of ways between air getting into and out of the house are almost balanced. Likewise, the most popular way for air coming out is the upstairs of the house, and the ways of air coming into the house spread out in an underground and a base floor.

Turning to the ways of air getting out, there are six ways at the upstairs of the house. Two recessed lights and the two ways of plumbing vents are placed at the upstairs. Then, the house has an attic hatch and a bathroom fan vent which help to reduce the heat energy in the house. Finally, the heat is also pulled out through an electrical outlet and a smoke funnel at the base floor.

A closer look at the diagram reveals that the heat from electricity is moved into following the flow of the air. The house has seven ways of air getting into. There are three windows, a door and a kitchen fan located in the base floor. Following this, the air is able to get into the house by passing the downstairs dryer vent and ventilators as well as crawl space located in the underground

(222 words)

• 
  A process
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Many citizens argue that using the electronic media has a drawback to relationships [NEW]

The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many citizens argue that using the electronic media has a drawback to personal relationships among them. Actually, this matter can be surmounted by people because the effect of the electronic media to the personal relationship depend on its users so that it should not be worried. In addition, the electronic media have benefit to strengthen relationship among the citizens such as they easily communicate with their family.

One of the drawbacks to using the electronic media is that personal relationship among citizens will be more distant. The citizens feel more pleasure to communicate to their family and friends with using the electronic media such as a smartphone so that they rarely meet up directly and their familiarity will wane. Based on recent research in Technology University of Malaysia, intensity of gathering affects their friendship. If the citizens are more enjoyable to use it than gathering with their friend, their friendliness or familiarity will become more distant.

However, the effect of the electronic give benefits to the personal relationships and should not be worried by them. The electronic media can strengthen the relationship among the citizens because the citizens can always keep in touch with their family or friends. To illustrate, a husband who has job abroad can always communicate to his family with using the smartphone, and he can also monitor growth of his children. Likewise, the effect to personal relationship is unimportant to be worried since it depends on the users. For example, the user of the electric media restricts to use it when gather with family or friends so that their gathering has a good quality and can strengthen their relationship.

All in all, the effect of the electric media to the personal relationship among the citizens is not a problem which should be worried. In addition, the electric media give the benefit because it can strengthen the relationship among the citizens. As the smart users, the citizens should use it as restrict to help their activities.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The important abilities of communication owned by people for their career [NEW]

The percentage of the results of two surveys, the important abilities of communication owned by people for their career in two different years (1997 and 2006), is presented in the table. It is important to note that the greatest growth are the understanding of especially products in the external communication and the listening to colleagues in the internal from 1997 to 2006. In any case, the nine communication abilities experience an increase, except the ability to selling a product or a service which drops.

First, in the external communication, the understanding of especially products or services is the largest growth by 6% between 1997 and 2006. After that, there are the abilities of both dealing with costumers and advising for clients which follow to rise in a two-years-period by 5% and 3% respectively. In contrast, from 1997-2006, the selling the product or the service witnesses a decrease by 3% in external communication.

Turning to another part, the greatest rise is the listening carefully to colleagues by 9% in two different years in the internal communication. However, there is the ability to planning the activities of others which increases steadily by 1% between 1997 and 2006. Surprisingly, the other abilities of the external communication almost have a similar growth by approximately 5% in the same period.

• 
  communication_skill..jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A comparison of the Pacific Ocean when experiences between a common and an El Nino [NEW]

A comparison of the Pacific Ocean when experiences between a common and an El Nino circumstance is presented in the diagram. It is important to note that the diagram clearly explains differences of both circumstances such as different seasons in two countries. Following this, there are negative effects on the Pacific when it witnesses the El Nino.

A closer look how the diagram describes the differences specifically. In the normal circumstance, trade winds at the East Pacific is stronger than at the West Pacific so that warm water flow from the East to the West Pacific. While the Pacific witness the El Nino, those situations reverse. Afterwards, storm clouds will be pushed to the West and make rainy days in Australia, and Peru's season is summer days, in the normal condition. Those situations are extremely different as the same time as the condition of the Pacific changes to the El Nino circumstance since the storm clouds move from the West to the East.

Turning to the negative effects, the pacific has poor nutrients in the El Nino circumstance. Following this, in Australia, El Nino causes a drop of number of fishes. Another impact is that the El Nino causes the summer days in Australia so that many plants do not grow effectively.

• 
  The El Nino circumstance
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Consuming so much junk food is one of complex problems in health for citizens [2]

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food? Agree or Disagree?

Consuming so much junk food is one of complex problems in health for citizens and make a growth of number of the citizens who have health problems in some countries. Consequently, government have to raise levy on all types of junk food. I do not believe that this solution can work effectively to solve the junk food since majority of consumers is rich people so that rising the levy does not influence them to consume it.

The government suppose that an increasing levy will decrease the number of sufferer from health problems because the high levy will automatically augment prices of the junk foods. To illustrate, some people who usually buy many items of the junk foods and do not question the prices order the few junk foods solely because the price of the junk foods is more expensive. A decreasing of consuming the junk foods will be linear with a declining of the sufferer.

However, I tend to oppose that this solution because it does not affect successfully. Majority of consuming fast foods is wealthy people so that the high tax does not influence their eagerness to eat the fast foods every day. In addition, the main reason why many people consume is that fast food is a part of lifestyle nowadays so that they will attempt to buy the fast food although those is more expensive. The increasing the tax only give a positive effect on income of both country and company, but it does not lessen their desire to consume the fast foods.

In conclusion, I fully disagree that the government have to increase the tax of the junk food because it only give benefit to the country and do not lessen the number of sufferer who experience health problems. The government should innovate to dispel a perspective of many people that consuming the junk foods is the part of the lifestyle and dangerous to the health. For example, the government should give instruction schools to make a seminar for students about negative effects of consuming so much junk food.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Some people believe that students need to consume healthy diet at school. [2]

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school.
How true is this statement?
Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that students need to consume healthy diet at school to study effectively. I argue that this statement is really true since the students need plenty of nutrition to understand the lessons well. A school management and parents must be collaborative to observe and provide healthy diet to the students.

Actually, the students need a considerable of nutrition of healthy food so that they can follow learning process effectively in the class. However, the children tend to consume unhealthy meals although it can disturb physical condition of the students because they do have good knowledge about balanced diet. Based on recent study at Cambridge University, children need to eat healthy foods 3 times more than older people because they are in the growing. In addition, intelligence of the children is also affected by the amount of nutrition values which are eaten every day.

On one hand, the school and the parents have responsibility to guide and provide healthy food for the students so that they have intake of nutrition enough. The students need instruction clearly about the diet which they must consume and avoid because they have little knowledge about healthy food. The parents can guide their children consume the meals which contain the balanced nutrition with providing the healthy diet of house. In addition, the schools should also make regulation to canteens that they are allowed to sell at around the school, but their products should be the healthy diet.

In conclusion, I fully agree that the student need to consume healthy food so that they can study effectively in learning process. The school should make the regulations for the canteens owner that they should not sell unhealthy food. However, the parents should also guide and advise their children to eat the healthy diets which contain balanced nutrition.

Writing Feedback / A dress is needed by the workers to cultivate their performance - appropriate clothing in companies [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fashion, in fact, touches the working world. Some people argue that workers should dress quite smartly although others have different perspectives that quality of a job is the most essential after all and should be highly regarded. Among the two perspectives, I believe that the workers should highly regard the quality of job so that they demonstrate great performance.

A dress is needed by the workers to cultivate their performance. The workers which dress smartly will seem more attractive and elegant so that their clients feel more comfortable. After that, the workers will be more self-assured to meet the clients when they dress smartly. Not only this, the workers who always get dressed smartly will present a professional of the company because the client will place a great belief of professionalism to the company. These three reasons will affect the performance of the workers if they can execute consistently.

Although the workers dress smartly, they will not render a profit to their company if the workers do not work professionally and do not regard the quality of the job. In the beginning, the clients will attract to consult something such as asking about a product or a service because the workers which dress smartly seem more attractive. After that, the clients will be disappointed when they do not find service professionally. In addition, a recent study at French by ESMOD International University found that employees do not raise good performances of a company since they highly regard the quality values of work although they are more confident when dress smartly.

In conclusion, the workers that dress smartly will seem more attractive. However, the workers do not accelerate the performance if they do not follow the company's regulation well. On one hand, the workers should also improve their ability to give the best performance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: married couples are more happy than some single people [2]

A survey of the happiness levels between single people and married couples, as well as having children's effect on families is displayed in the bar charts. Overall, it can be seen that the married couples have the happiness levels higher than the single people. In any case, the happiness levels for the married couples who have or do not have children almost witness the same percentages.

A closer look at how this chart illustrates difference of the happiness levels for married and unmarried groups. The 18-29 age group is the highest level at 45% in the couple category. Afterwards, there is the same levels of both 30-49 and more than 64 age groups in the married group. Likewise, the 50-64 age group in the category of married couples has the lowest happiness level at 40%. On the other hand, the unmarried people experience the levels of happiness at approximately 21% for three age groups except the 65 and over age group at 34%.

Apart from this, another chart describes happiness percentages for the married couples who have or do not have children. The largest percentage is parents who have the children aged under 18 at 44%. After that, the percentage of the married couples who have not a child follows at 43%. Finally, 41% of all couples witness the lowest happiness percentage of another age group.

• 
  married couples
  

Writing Feedback / Government and citizens are whole unity. Funding to education and healthcare issue. [2]

All education and healthcare should be funded by government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Government and citizens are whole unity. Some people believe that the government should has responsibility to allocate a funding to education and healthcare services free for the citizens. The government has responsibility to fund the others sectors such as public transportations, but I believe that the sector of education and health services is the government's responsibility and also very essential because both services are needs of the citizens.

The government has authority to allocate the funding to develop both sectors because there are some reasons. Firstly, these two services are exceedingly important to be founded because both services are essential necessities which raise prosperity and welfare for everyone. Buildings of schools and hospitals are principal infrastructure which become the government's focus to boost the service and quality of living of citizens. On one hand, the citizens have paid a tax every year which should be allocated by the government to building public facilities. The government divide the funding proportionally to those two services especially so that the citizens can feel its functions comprehensively.

However, the funding to both services require good management by the government because these do not work effectively. In several condition, those services restricted because the funding is not enough. The government avoid all economic levels to use both services without emphasizing to poor citizens. To illustrate, cost of treating in the hospital is free from the lowest economic level to the highest economic level so that the funding is enough solely to first treatment in the hospital. The funding should be prioritized for the lower economic level.

In conclusion, I believe that the government should allocate the funding to both services because those are the government's responsibility. The government should has the good management to allocate the funding to both services so that these services can work effectively.