Scholarship / GKS LANGUAGE STUDY PLAN before come to Korea and after; My long-time interest in this country [5]


Then you should know that the language is officially acknowledged as Hangul, not Korean. Korean refers to the people from Korea. It does not refer to the official language.


Evidence of this certification should be attached. It will be a bit helpful only since only the TOPIK level 5 and above certification is acknowledged as official language rating certification. Better not make any language rating claims at this point based on unofficial sources.


Aim for the actual passing level the lst time. There is only 1 chance to retake the test if you fail the first time.


Focus on the TOPIK test since the classes will be taught in Hangul, with only a little English involved.

Writing Feedback / TOPIC: What causes young people, especially university students, to feel negative? [4]


Investments are defined as the devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc., as for a purpose or to achieve something. This noun is an elementary level word that is not used in the proper reference in this sentence. Next time look up the word meaning before using it. This is an LR deduction.


Give a summary of these reasons to complete the presentation. Summarize the discussion points. 2 reasons will suffice since this is only a 40 minute task. The essay is over-discussed and will not meet the time allowance during the actual test.


Another word choice error. This is a midde school level noun that implies an act of denial, among other definitions, none of which apply to the meaning of the sentence the writer tried to imply.

The writer is only at the beginner level of vocabulary usage.While his logic is proper, he is unable to choose the right words to use in expressing his thoughts.

Writing Feedback / One of the most increasingly ubiquitous trends today is online shopping [2]


- Merits and drawbacks are in plural form. Therefore the plural form of the pronoun "this" must be used. The plural form of the word is " these". Review S V. P writing rules.

An A v. D discussion does not use a comparative discussion in the manner the writer has chosen to do so. Rather, the writer is tasked to disprove the perceived drawbacks as an actual advantage within 2 discussion paragraphs. For every disadvantage, explain its actual advantage. That is how to win the written debate.


Use public knowledge and personal insight. Those are the information requirements for the presentation as per the orginal prompt. Never used research referenced or cited work. You cannot do research during the actual test. Use measurement references if you want to. Make up information but, do not cite sources.

Writing Feedback / [WRITING TASK 1] The table shows the export values of various products in 2009 and 2010. [4]

The writer did not refer to the comparison changes that were indicated in the chart for both years. The percentage of data changes year on year shows the trending growth or shrinkage of each sector. This information is a must for the presentation within the trending paragraph. I sense that the writer did not include it in the presentation due to an uncertainty about how to use the changes report. The changes should be presented last. As a comparison final sentence for the years indicated. The report is incomplete without the reference /analysis of the degree of changes. Always present an equal number of sentences per paragraph. An academic paragraph is always composed of 3-5 sentences. The 3rd paragraph does not represent a valid academic analysis as it is short in sentence count.

Scholarship / Personal Statement for KGSP Undergrad '22- The inscrutability [of economics] is perhaps not unintent [2]

It is best to avoid using quotations to explain yourself in the essay. The reviewer does not need to hear descriptions from other people. He needs and wants to know what you think and believe in relation to your motivations. What does economics mean to you? How and why did the interest develop?

How has your teacher's influence become part of your motivation and character? What are your career and perhaps ambition for the economy of your country that further solidified your interest ? Build the image of a dedicated junior economist upon graduation.

Mention a balanced set of extra curricular interests a few of your social interests and your most notable economics related activities. That way you show off balanced skills and interests. There is a problem with the academic background though. It requires academic achievement of some sort. Do not forget the family background discussion as the basis of your character and life beliefs.

Highlight the Korean society only if it relates to real life interactions. Keeping things online does not carry the same impact in the presentation. Avoid any financial references at this point. Those are irrelevant to the discussion.

Writing Feedback / Report: Evaluation of the 'International food' course in the Superior school of cookery. [2]

Observations should be either positive or negative. These are not references to what was learned in class. Such a reference falls under the student's learning experience. Thevword "observation" was incorrectly used as a reference point here.

One cannot reference "finally" and "in conclusion" in the discussion as both indicate the end of the discussion. A discussion cannot be referred to as having ended twice. It can only end once. Choose which part is the real conclusion and stick to it. Reformat the non concluding presentation to still be a discussion statement.


... widen their skills in relation to cooking international dishes.

The recommendarion reason was not properly presented in that section.

Scholarship / Personal Statement GKS Graduate 2022 University Track Master's Degree Chemical Enginnering [3]

The academic and career motivation is missing from the presentation. There are no clear academic and extra curricular activities that would prove a long held desire and pursuit of success as a chemical engineer. Where is the work related experience? Why is there no reference to a future ambition as a chemical engineer?

The essay lost its way when it came to justifying the interest in graduate studies. Since this is a uni based application, a strong relationship between the course chosen (it was not mentioned in the essay), a professional application, aside from its relation to previous studies and experiences are required.

Avoid any reference to early childhood memories. It weakens the application because the reference does not relate to current interests. The reviewer will not find that information useful.

Writing Feedback / The bar graph below shows basic information about uses of leisure time among different age group. [2]

The writer used a topic restatement + opinion presentation for the first paragraph. A discussion format exclusive to the task 2 essay. The task 1 essay uses a summary overview with trending statement in place of the restatement and opinion paragraph. This will result in a failing TA score in terms of restatement considerations.

The 3 paragraph analytical report is missing from this essay. There is no accurate analysis and data presentation. The writer has failed to deliver on the task requirements because the task 2 format was used throughout the essay. Proving the writer's unfamiliarity with task 1 writing. This is a failing presentation.

The writer must read the task 1 writing samples at this forum to get a better idea of how to properly approach and develop a task 1 essay presentation.

Writing Feedback / TASK 2; The idea that people should have their own house instead of renting one [3]

The writer clearly misunderstood the given discussion. He has provided a response that is not related to any of the discussion prompts. Let me outline the problems that led to the failure of this presentation.

Original Topic: OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE.

Restatement : The idea that people should have their own house instead of renting one remains a source of controversy. (INCORRECT)

Discussion Questions: Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Response: I hold the view that it is beneficial to renting house.

Then the writer goes on to discuss a topic in a form no longer in line with the original presentation. The essay will get a failing mark because the writer showed an inability to understand the topic and discuss as instructed in English

Writing Feedback / The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. [2]

The paraphrase does not restate the original topic, nor any responses to the direct questions. The prompt restatement + question response presentation are both incorrect and inaccurate. So lacking is this paragraph, that it only restates one of the two direct questions provided, rather than both questions. This shows that the writer has a problem with explaining topics based on his own wording. This is a TA problem.

Properly connecting reasons in a paragraph presentation is also a problem. There is no proper connection indicated between peer pressure and poisonous chemicals that cause addiction to cigarettes.

As this is a causes and solutions essay, only one paragraph for connected causes is needed. The next paragraph should have been a solution presentation already. This is still a 4 paragraph format essay.

The first sentence of the solution paragraph is confusing and does not make sense to a native English speaker. Try to keep yhe presentation easy to understand by using simple worded presentations. Do not translate word for word from the vernacular.

Writing Feedback / Information regarding the proportion of energy generated from 5 sources in New Zealand and Germany [3]

Remember that the correct paragraph formatting for the task requires 3 -4 paragraphs. Anytime 2 or more images are presented, the report automatically needs 4 paragraphs to provide a complete analysis.

The presentation should have done comparisons by year for the countries as a pair in each paragraph. A comparison and contrasting of the data, as per the provided measurement points would have shown the analytical abilities of the writer.

A task 1 essay such as this is an advanced presentation. It highlights the advanced observational, thinking, and presentation skills of the writer. While some of these requirements were met, more work in the analysis area should have been completed.

Writing Feedback / The line graph gives information about the fluctuations of food price index and average oil price [2]

There is a correlation measurement indicated in the original image. When the writer referred to the correlation, that specific measurement should have been included. That is a very important part of the presentation and the examiner would have expected to read a complete mention of it as it was highlighted in red within the data presentation. It should have been referred to as the only trending reference in the report.

When creating the data paragraphs, the information must be separated by various punctuation marks such as commas and periods. Every sentence must be properly developed either as a complex or simple sentence. The second paragraph does not meet this data and sentence presentation requirement. As a run on, it fails to add clarity and coherence to the report.

Student Talk / How to make academic writing interesting? [13]

It is difficult to prevent boredom from setting in when writing academic papers. Students find it particularly difficult to produce papers that have topics of no interest to them. So, what is a student to do? Find a way to become interested in it. The growth of interest starts with the choice of topic. A professor will always cast a wide net for the student by offering a general topic. This is all part of the plan to make the writing aspect interesting. Do preliminary topic usearch to see what fields or personalities are involved. surely the student will find himself attracted to one of the main or sub.topics. Once that interest is found, the student will find a keen interest to learn more and write more. Boredom will be avoided.

When drafting the paper, develop an interesting voice, within academic constraints. Liven up the descriptions. Be insightful with personal opinions. Use an active voice. When boredom setsin, join a group chat or forum related to the topic. You will be amazed at how this sort of interactions help keep boredom away and, most importantly, adds to your own existing research.

There are other ways to fight boredom but , these are the 2 most effective ways that I know of.

Writing Feedback / Everyone should become vegetarian because a healthy meal does not necessarily require meat [2]


This has nothing to do with the discussion provided. References must be suitable to the given topic. In this case , the vocabulary and references used should be food related. The above reference is more appropriate for technology discussions.


Use this as a response in an extent essay. This topic falls under a simple agree or disagree presentation. Suit the response to the question. Do not use exaggerated terms when it is not implied in the discussion question. While acceptable as a response, there will be deductions due to the wrong response format.

The rest of the essay however, strongly and properly supports the writer's opinion. The paragraphs are well focused and connected. Reasons are easily understood even with some LR and GRA issues. There are minimal errors that will not prevent the essay from achieving a passing score.

Writing Feedback / Target: Band 7- Writing Task 2: The influence of technology to lifestyle [2]


There are 3 seperate ideas presented in this long sentence. one of the ideas are properly depicted in the presentation. The writer must learn to present 1 idea per sentence. Otherwise, the essay will recieve failing scores in the C + c and G R A sections.


The prompt is not asking if the trend is avoidable. Do not give responses unrelated to the original discrission topic. If meant as a part of the reasoning discussion then, it must be included in the thesis outline response.


Read the prompt again. This is NOT a cause-solution essay. This solution presentation is a prompt deviation placed in the concluding summary section. The essay will not qualify for a passing score because of the open-ended discussion created by this disconnected discussion topic.

Writing Feedback / The global water use and the water expenditure in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo [3]

The writer must present the summary information based on 2 seperate images. Identify the different images and present one highlighted information for each image. Then a combination trending statement at the end. The summary data in current forum is confusing, lacking image identifiers, and does not provide a concise and coherent reporting paragraph.


Avoid using pronouns of any sort in a Task 1 essay. This is an analytical report of the general kind. Data, rather than opinions are presented. Pronouns usage suits a Task 2 essay response more.

The writer presents the information in a manner that does not consider the coherence of the presentation. The grammar range falls unde ven-on developments only. A failing G R A score will be applied.

Writing Feedback / It is true that environmental problems are not received care enough from citizens [3]


The writer is making a general statement a fact. A piece of writing that is unnecessary since such a statement does not exist and is not being asked within the original presentation. Such a statement will not increase the scoring consideration. Avoid making unfounded statements in the restatement in the future.


The essay has automatically failed at this point. The opinion statement or discussion response is not in line with the discussion requirement. The writer has altered the discussion approach so much, it is no longer connected to the original presentation.

Discussion Question:


Response:


While some scores will be applied to the L R and G R A sections, as these are general score considerations, it will not be enough to gain a passing score. Why? The main scoring aspects in relation to logic and comprehension, namely the TA and C + C sections, as based on the original direction, have failed in the presentation.

Scholarship / LEADERSHIP IS NOT A TITLE BUT AN ACTION - CHEVENING LEADERSHIP ESSAY [5]

The leadership depiction here is practically dictatorial, which is not what leadership is all about. Not only must a leader know how to listen and delegate, he must know how to influence others, resolve team conflicts, and manage task situations as well. This essay has a narrow focus on delegation for self ~ aggrandizement and self-importance. selfish traits within a leader. One upping an immediate superior rather than influencing that superior means the applicant is a go-getter in a negative way. The presentation is not really a portrayal of an admirable leader. Rather than encouraging others, the applicant does things on her own, without leadership consultations of the correct kind.

Scholarship / PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR KGSP/GKS undergraduate Scholarship, Pharmacy major [3]



Both reasons do not relate to an interest in Pharmacy. These make the applicant sound like a tourist visa applicant instead of a college scholarship candidate. What academic reasons can replace it? Think about it.



Show academic and extra-curricular evidence of these. The claims must be supported by verifiable engagement activities and academic accomplishments of note.



Unless you are fluent in Hangul and English, the reviewer does not care for these language proficiencies Also, there is a seperate language essay requirement so this discussion is not necessary in this personal statement.


Not true. The discussion presented focuses on Caregiving rather than pharmacy.

The presentation itself is not going to be considered beyond the screening sound. The applicant is unqualified for the course major being applied for.

Writing Feedback / BEGINNER-WRITING TASK 1: Recycling process of aluminium cans [5]

This will not get a passing score in an actual test due to the writer's failure to meet word count, paragraph formatting, and analytical report requirements. A summary overview or short report form is required in all Task 1 essays. This essay totally skipped that concise paragraph presentation. The writer jumped directly to the trending sentence, which is the last part of the summary overview. The summary overview cannot be assessed based on the trending sentence alone.

There are only 108 words witten in a report meant to have at least 150 words. The result? Preliminary scoring deductions based on the missing word count. Additional deductions in the C + C section due to the under explained and analyzed data presentation. This is a 3 paragraph report composed of 3-5 sentences each. The writer needs to have an overall improvement in the aforementioned areas.

Writing Feedback / What should and should not be taught at school has been a perennial debate [2]

The prompt restatement must be a factual representation of the orginal within 2 sentences. No actual opinion coming from the writer should be found in the restatement The first sentence renders the paraphrase inaccurate. The opinion does notoffer the correct measured response. This is only a partially scorable task representation that could hinder a passing score.

The student has used an incorrect discussion format in the presentation. This response error will definitely result in a failed overall score. A compare and contrast format was used instead of a single opinion justification over 2 related reasoning paragraphs.The writer has shown an inability to understand English instructions. Weak comprehension skills result in discussion instruction deviations such as this presentation. It is a failed writing effort.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: UNPAID WORK [3]

The restatement could have been cleaver. 2 seperate ideas were presented in one sentence creating a confusing presentation. As a run-on, it simply lacks proper clarity and cohesion. Use one sentence per idea. That way the required 3-5 sentences per paragraph is also met. Do not tell the examiner what the discussion instructions dre. Provide a proper, topic based thesis sentence as a part of the I to achieve a higher task score and also, create a cohesive discussion outline, which can help with the overall score boost.


Word choice error. Repercussion is a a college level noun referencing a negative effect or result, often indirect or remote, of some negative event or action. Use the term "results" instead to create a positive point and avoid confusing word presentations.

*Contact me privately for scoring services.

Writing Feedback / BEGINNER- WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism [2]


An economic discussion was not stated in the original prompt. The reference is for a general advantage reference. The restatement should do the same. This is a restatement inaccuracy that will affect the task score.


Improper vocabulary and word usage. Obtain is a verb that refers to an act that allows a person to come into possession of; get, acquire, or procure, as through an effort or by a request. One of the more appropriate references would have been u recieves" As in "the image it recieves" in reference to a public opinion. This is an elementary word usage error.


The local what? Community? Industry? there is a missing subject here.


Contractions cannot be used in academic writing. Use both words instead.


Improper phrase usage.Grammar error. The correct word would have been " Rather" an elementary advert that refuseto an act reflective of a more appropriate, proper, or better reasoning suggestion.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task1 - conditions of an island before and after tourist facilities development [3]

This essay is going to recieve a failing score based on 2 major reasons:

- Lack of written words in relation to the minimum word count of 250 words
- Improper response format

The improper format relates to the way that the report is presented. The writer neglected to deliver a proper summary of information paragraph + trending statement for the 2 images. It is the lack of this paragraph presentation at the start, representing the restatement + trending explanation that created the scoring problem. The essay lacks in proper word count and has an improper presentation format. Had these requirements not been overlooked, the report may have been considered for a passing score. All task 1 essays have a 3 paragraph requirement.

Writing Feedback / The figures for acid rain emissions per million tons in four different sectors in the United Kingdom [3]

The writer is prone to writing in compressed presentation sentences rather than properly structured sentences and paragraphs. Known as a run- on, this type of sentence structure directly lowers the exam score in the C + C and G R A sections. The score is lowered because the data becomes difficult to understand due to confusing analysis references. Properly formed sentences contain one idea or data presentation in one sentence.

These related idea sentences are what comprise a paragraph. How well the sentences connect in the paragraph and how clearly the reporting paragraphs connect to one another are what comprise the C + C store. The G R A is based on proper simple and complex sentence structure and usage. These elements are not in this essay.

Writing Feedback / Youngsters who commit crimes should be treated by authorities in the same way as adults [2]


While the opinion of the writer is required, the format used is incomplete. The extent of (dis) agreement must come before the thesis topic.


Irrelevant discussion. Stick to the given question and offer 2 related and fully developed discussion reasons within the presentation. Discussion alterations such as these are not scored. The word count is reduced and a score is given based on an under-explained or defended opinion. The extent essay is a single opinion consideration rather than comparative. This error will reduce the coherence and cohesiveness of the presentation. Rather, indicate the opening in a way that relates it to the prompt:

My point of view is that juvenile delinquents cannot be tried as adults because...

Be factual using a properly framed topic sentence that does not alter the discussion instruction. Justead, it should the part of the explanation from the onset.


Correct approach that should have had another supporting - before or after it to strengthen and completely explain the writer's opinion.

Writing Feedback / The authorities ought to limit individual wages at a certain level [2]


This is a redundant reference. Many countries already implies a global coverage. simply place a comma at the end of " many countries" and proceed with the restatement presentation.


There is no clarity to the opinion statement. What sort of law? A bill? A resolution? A senate Act? What is the content or subject of the law?

At this point the task accuracy of the essay will have opinion clarity scoring issues. Specially since the opinion response does not answer the discussion gquestion. It does not ask if a law is needed . It asks if a cap should be placed on salaries. 2 different questions with only the latter needing a response in this presentation. The essay presentation is not related to the orginal presentation.

Writing Feedback / Many people argue that high income is far more essential than job happiness [4]

What does a gap year in high school have to do with the salary consideration topic? It appears the student has misrepresented the original promptand also, failed to respond to the discussion question. The TA score for this essay will be in the failing range due to the unrelated discussion presentation. There is no connection between a gap year and happiness based on salary. Was this a misunderstanding or did the student mix up the discussion prompts? Regardless, he already failed half of this essay test. Consider that the topic is :


There you restate the topic and give a response of:


See the discrepancy? There is no related discussion point.

Scholarship / PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR KGSP/GKS UNDERGRADUATE COMPUTER SCIENCE ENGINEERING MAJOR [3]

The essay is all over the place. The motivation to study in Korea and why you chose the major are 2 different motivating factors. There are 2 motivating factors to consider :

- Korea's contribution to Computer Science Engineering
- Desire to recieve the best training possible prior to graduation.

The idea of your studies being " wierd" and "cool" are definite turn -off references for the reviewer. Words like those maybe used among your peers but not in front of academic professionals such as application reviewers. Top ranking and beautifully designed universities also shows that you do not have properly considered motivations for studies in Korea.


Bloomberg is not applying for the scholarship. Avoid using researched information or frame it to sound more personal.

The language skills are relevant since these are not used in Korean universities. Only English and,most importantly, Hangul, matters. There is a heavy focus on sports rather than academic accomplishments. Those academic accomplishments are far more considerable than the multi-sports skills you have. Expand on those aspects instead. The essay is not good at all. It is only usable as a draft. Based on required accomplishments though, the essay just does not work.

Graduate / Statement of Purpose - UC Berkeley - Data Science [2]

This essay is an excellent creative writing piece, but is not useful when presented to a reviewer who has given you one paragraph to summarize your response and hold his interest. Berkley is a campus filled with people who do not waste time. Which is what this erway successfully does.Do not follow the program consultant's advice. Your writing is not set within an academic tone and mindset. As a future scientist, the reviewer will look more for proof of accomplishments rather than these mere enumerations. The claims of accomplishments need to be backed up by accolades, recognition and much more than just your claims. Do not be too creative in your writing.

The work often sounds too much like storytelling time instead of a formal witten interview. The essay lacks in impact and notability because of this. Work on impactful writing rather than whimsical narrations. The overall essay, in my opinion, needs a rewrite. A new version focusing on properly developed data in relation to the actual prompt, not the consultant's writing instructions. This is not going to help make your application more considerable as the total content and presentation is forgettable.

Write based on the university instructions if you want to have a more appropiate and correct content based presentation. That is what is required. That is what should be presented.

Writing Feedback / Advertising as a compelling tool for convincing people to buy even unnecessary things [2]


The discussion is presented in current time form, not past time reference. Use the correct tense as indicated in the prompt. A task 2 essay will never use past tense refences.


Word usage error. An expense is a noun that refers to a cause or occasion of spending. The word reference you are looking for is " buy", a verb indicating the act of acquiring the possession of something or a purchase.



Incorrect discussion format. Discuss both views indicates an analysis of the reasons supporting the public opinions. This is completed in 3rd person, group reference form. After the discussion, the writer is then allowed to formulate his personal opinion in relation to the comparative discussion.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: The bar chart depicts data about how many tons of waste was collected by recycling centre [3]


Not "between" but "from". Use "between" when referring to a 1:1 discussion. "From" indicates a wider discussion covering more than a 1:1 reference. This statement needs a wider comparison reference point based upon the image.


Garden what? Use more synonyms for garbage and waste. You are displaying a very weak vocabulary and grammar range at this point. The same applies to the other waste references. This type of essay is synonym usage intensive. Build a better vocabulary to accomplish this. Read more English print materials and watch more English films. Throw in vocabulary building exercises as well. The lack of synonym usage makes the presentation confusing and difficult to understand.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: The reasons why adults take part in the course and how its cost should be shared [3]


Read the instructions again. The images must be individually identified for accuracy purposes.


You are not writing a fashion and beauty report. Never use non-academic word descriptions. This phrase, in particular, does not meet academic audience standards. Remember the audience and use audience related reference words in the report.



The second reference must be used in tandem with, " On the one hand" as you are trying to establish a valid comparative discussion. The confusing use of anchor phrases rather than topic sentences lower the clarity and grammar accuracy score of the presentation.


Learn to proofread and spellcheck. This is a minimal L R deduction but, a deduction nonetheless.

Writing Feedback / It is believed that children should start learning a foreign language at primary schools [2]


This response is meant for an extent of agreement or disagreement essay. It is improperly used in this opinion statement. Only the last part is relevant to the discussion presentation. A reformatting of the response is required. The restatement part does not fully change all the keywords so those will be scored low as cutand paste phrases.


This is not a comparative essay. Present only reasons that support your opinion. This paragraph becomes the basis of a failing TA score as you have just confused the reader about your actual opinion.


Another failing score source based on TA reasons. The TA is scared based on the clear support of your opinion. This connotes uncertainty and lack of opinion clarity in a manner that will make the overall essay recieve a failing overall score, regardless of the remaining scoring aspects.

* Contact me privately for individual scoring.

Scholarship / MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION WITH GKS [2]

The essay answers only selected portions of the prompt. As this is nota prompt compliant essay, it will not help increase the applicant's chances. Truth be told, this is a very unremarkable issay. It fails to capture the reviewer's attention due to the lack of notable academic accomplishments and notable extra- curricular accomplishments. The one-dimensional presentation fails to add an imaginative level to the presentation. Consider that the essay has a varied background and one has to wonder if the applicant actually did well in the writing classes and if the competition wins are factual. The applicant should start over with a new essay. One that is more interesting and fully addresses the prompt guide questions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a a typical week [3]


There are the citizens of the respective countries, not the names of the countries. The 2 pie charts refer to the citizens of the nations. This is an LR and GRA wor that will cause deductions to be applied.


A task 1 essay is not concluded. 2 reporting paragraphs with a closing sentence in the last paragraph will suffice.

The writer does not use the minimum 3 paragraph presentation requirement. That would be one paragraph for each nation. This falls under a TA deduction.

[quote=LiemLe]The two country[/quote]
Countries, plural form of country. The writer must review his grammar lessons to familiarize himself with wiling rules and structures. Boulding his vocabulary and word meaning knowledge is a must as he shows severe word usage shortcomings and errors.

Writing Feedback / Why people lack interest in appreciating arts? [2]


Please use a thesis statement here. That would be 2 sentences composed of 1 response each. These topic outline presentation sentences will increase the TA score in terms of logic and clarity. Simply repeating the writing instructions has no score increasing effect on the presentation.



These are topic placement holders taught to students in school. It shouldnot be used in the actual test. The examiner will expect topic sentence usage references at the start of the paragraph. The topic sentences have a direct G R A scoring relationship as well as C + C considerations.


This is the summary conclusion. The writer cannot make any more opinion claims / presentations here as it is only a recap of the previous paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates the process of producing chocolate from cacao trees [2]


What kind of diagram? It is a drawing that explains a process, an illustration. This is more accurately identified as an illustrative diagram. Familiarize yourself with the actual image names used in the task 1 essays.


Nope. There are 4 main stages in a 10 step process. Look at how the illustrative diagram is divided. Count the sections. Then, count the steps. These are what comprise the manufacturing process.


Roasted where ? An open flame? An oven? Where ? Where information is incomplete, C + C scores will be deducted.

[quote=Miyas]; finally[/quote]
A simple comma would have worked best here, without the word " finally ".

The writer has a problem properly identifying procedures and key procedure points. Task accuracy is a major reporting problem.

Writing Feedback / (Task 2) Government should fund skills training rather than university education. Agree/Disagree? [2]

The key phrase that needs to be represented in the response is "to what extent". While the writer produced a strong and accurate restatement. the response format needs the phrase," to the extent that" to represent a general degree of support for a given statement. "To the extent that" is the perfect measured response as it solidly leads into the reasoning topic. It shows a logical thought process in terms of topic analysis during the drafting process. It increases the TA score.

Do not use a comparative analysis for this essay. Rather use 2 reasons that would show "the extent" of the validity of your opinion. Convince the reader that the reasons you present are valid up to a certain point. Consider the opposing view and focus on disproving it using "the extent" of the accuracy of your opinion.

Writing Feedback / Parents put too much pressure on their children for their future. Reasons? Positives or negatives. [3]

The restatement, reason, and s statement is not accurate. The writer failed to deliver an original topic based restatement. He also did not provide direct answers to the questions. in fact, he even totally avoided responding to the last question. The score for the paragraph will be in the failing range, making it difficult to predict if he will get a passing overall score.

Grammar issues abound in the essay ranging from plural sentence formation, proper sentence structuring, and vocabulary usage. The miter tris his best to avoid these enors but this English writing skills are not strong enough for him to do so at this point. I will however, acknowledge this effort.

He understands the topic and how to discuss it. Further grammar rules learning and sentence exercises can help him sharpen his skills and correct his grammar rules misunderstanding.