Writing Feedback / In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. [3]

Question: In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. Do you agree or disagree?

are multinational companies a threat to us?

Essay: Multinational companies and their products have become an integral part of people's lives . Never before have multinational companies played such a pivotal role in society. Today, both manufacturing and distribution have gone global, increasing the quantity and variety of goods while driving down the price. Despite their potential threat to local environment, they improve life rather than destroying it.

Multinational companies may jeopardize environment in developing countries by setting up factories there. First, the need for raw material would drive companies to use up natural resources in developing countries where legislation and law enforcement for environmental protection are often scarcely upheld. Second, these manufacture factories are highly pollutive. Dirty water, carbon emission, and polluted air from these manufacturing sites could harm the health of residents.

Yet the arrival of multinational companies can boom the local economy. It provides plentiful job opportunities to locals who are desperate to earn a living. Factories built overseas are usually labor-intensive, thus could hire a large local workforce. Wages from multinational companies would enhance local purchase force, contributing to a dynamic economy. Employed by such companies, parents could also provide better schooling for their children, which could pull deprived families out of the poverty cycle.Customers could benefit from multinational companies. First, these companies provide alternatives to local products. KFC, a global food chain, for example, serves western fast food which local restaurants in Asia do not provide . Second, products from multinationals could be more cost-effective, as they are manufactured in areas where labor and natural resources are cheap.

In conclusion, though global companies may harm the environment of the developing world, they could bring benefits to their customers as well as the economy of where their products are manufactured.

Writing Feedback / Smoking is detrimental to the smoker and those who are nearby - smoking ban in public places [2]

Banning Smoking in Public Places

Prompt: Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer: Smoking is believed to be detrimental to the smoker and those who are nearby, and thus should to be prohibited in public places. I tend to agree with this argument for two reasons.

The first reason is that those who smoke in public places harm others' health. Public places, such as buses, shopping centers, and hospitals are often crowded, which means a large number of people will suffer from second-hand smoke if one person smokes. This air pollution in public places may cause coughing, high-blood pressure and even lung cancer in those who do not smoke. Second-hand smoke could be particularly harmful to children and the elderly, whose respiratory system are likely to be vulnerable. Banning smoking in public places would protect people's health by creating a secondhand smoke free environment.

Second, for smokers, forbidding smoking in public places would reduce their chance to smoke, which is good for their health. If workplaces ban smoking, for example, workers would have to go elsewhere in order to smoke. This inconvenience could contribute to a decline in their frequency of smoking. Additionally, some may resolve to quit smoking as it becomes more and more difficult to find a place to smoke. In this way, prohibition of smoking in public places would rid those who smoke of the detrimental habit.

In conclusion, banning smoking in public places would benefit non-smokers, by protecting them from second-hand smoke; meanwhile, such prohibition could help smokers reduce their frequency of smoking. That is why I completely agree that smoking should be forbidden in public places.

Writing Feedback / Having Children Later in Life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development [3]

Prompt: Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life.
Why is this trend occurring?
What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

ps: This is a topic about which I have read and thought for a long time. So I tried to write longer than an IELTS Task 2 essay. Please kindly loot it through. Any advice/ criticism/ revision will be appreciated :)

postponing childbearing for later and its effects

ANSWER: Nowadays increased number of couples choose to postpone childbearing to a later phase of their lives. This may result from longer education and high economic pressure. The trend could lead to more happy and harmonious families but may deteriorate demographic conditions in many countries.

Today young people receive more education, which inevitably decreases fertility rate. For example, more than ever young Chinese are studying in university and a growing share of them will pursue a master's degree. This means many of them would not find a paid job and have the economic groundwork for raising a child until their mid or late twenties.

Even after leaving campus, the youth may not be ready to become parents, due to the high cost of nurturing a child. Couples with a child need larger houses which would be unaffordable for young people who have just entered the workforce. Good education can be costly as well. The high fees of kindergarten and extra-curricular classes put heavy burdens on young parents. This is why a significant proportion of 25-to 35-year-olds refuse to have children until they have the resources needed for child-upbringing which could take ten or more years to accumulate.

Apart from their financial advantages, old couples are likely to be mature enough for parenthood. From years of higher education and high-pace work, they have learnt how to organize their time. These parents would be able to balance child-upbringing and other things, setting aside enough time to play with their children. Ensuring enough time of family communication could contribute to a happier childhood for the new-born and a more harmonious family.

For society, however, more people delaying childbirth may decrease birthrates, worsening the ageing of population. Females who give birth to her first child in their late thirties, may not be young enough to have another baby. This could cause a decline in fertility rates. A fallen number of babies means future economic development would be hindered by an insufficient workforce.

In conclusion, more time spent in education and the high cost of raising a child have led to more couples having babies late. This is beneficial for family as parents are more mature; but could pose threats to the economy of a country, by lowering birth rate.

Writing Feedback / The popularity of reading news online means crisis for printed newspapers [3]

Internet vs. Newspapers

PROMPT: Although more and more people read news on the internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ANSWER: Nowadays reading news via online is gaining popularity. Despite this, some argue newspapers will still be the most essential when it comes to news sources. I completely disagree with this view as I believe online news will be more important than newspapers.

News websites and APPs are faster to report breaking news than newspapers. After writing a piece of news, correspondents only need to press a button to post it online, thanks to the instant nature of the Internet. Newspaper articles, on the other hand, would reach readers only after print and distribution, which could take a day. As a result, the public would rely more on the Internet for news, especially breaking ones.

Apart from on speed, online news wins newspapers on diversity of media types. Newspapers present news with words and pictures; websites and APPs could utilize a wide range of media forms, including audios and videos. These visual and acoustic reports convey more information than photos and words. They are also able to leave a deeper impression on people's mind. For example, a video from BBC news presented sounds of gunshots and babies crying at the end of a report. The video demonstrated the cruelty of war and could help its audience relate to people in the conflict-torn area. Audios and videos that newspapers cannot present make online reports more impressive.

In conclusion, the Internet would surpass newspapers in terms of importance, because online news is instant and includes more diverse media types.

Poetry / Essay: Nature's Power and Human Desire in the Process of Decay [3]

Hi everyone, I am practicing writing essays in English. The following is my written exercise comparing two poems. You may find the poems at the end of this thread if necessary :)

I will appreciate comments about any aspect, vocabulary, grammar, structure, logic line, whichever!
Here we go:

Nature's Power and Human Desire in the Process of Decay:

Comparing and Contrasting Sonnet 12 and Blackberry Picking

All that is beautiful will inevitably wither in nature as well as in human societies. Though both Shakespeare's Sonnet 12 and Seamus Heaney's Blackberry Picking depict this inexorable process of decay, the former attributes this saddening process to the power of nature whereas the latter emphasizes the destructive role that human desire plays. This distinction is presented in both the rhythm and content of the two poems.

Rhythm in Sonnet 12 reminds readers of the force of nature. The rhythm of the sonnet builds a parallel between human and nature. Established strictly by iambic pentameter, the sonnet impresses readers with its high regularity. This periodicity coincides with the renewal of generation. In the poem, one iambic foot follows another; in nature, one generation follows another. As well as in rhyme, parallelism can also be also seen in the work's content. For example, silver hair is compared to a withered violet in the first quatrain and a dead old man lofty trees in the second quatrain. Parallelisms in both rhyme and content remind readers that humans, like any other species, can never escape decay because of nature's power. Careful arranged rhymes highlight nature's position as a powerful ruler.

In Blackberry-Picking, on the other hand, Heaney emphasizes his own emotion with half rhymes. The poet recalls how he picked blackberries and then watched them decay. This content is mirrored by half rhymes that give the verse a reflexive and personal tone. Such half rhymes as "sun" and "ripen", "for" and "hunger", "byre" and "fur" sound softer than perfect rhymes and are thus more suitable for a work about recollection. Through these soft half rhymes, one may picture Heaney sitting quietly reflecting on his childhood memory. As well as highlighting the poet's melancholy on human greed, half rhymes is soft enough to leave readers to empathize with Heaney.

It is arguable that both poems employ a considerable number of natural images. Like Sonnet 12, which depicts the decay of violets, lofty trees, and an elderly man, Blackberry Picking illustrates how the sweet fruits rotted and stunk. In fact, Blackberry Picking is in Heaney's famous collection, Death of a Naturalist, which mainly deals with his close-to-nature experience in County Derry.

Despite this, nature is not emphasized in Heaney's work. Compared to Sonnet 12, Blackberry Picking present more human interference in the decay process. In Sonnet 12, human is merely an observer whereas the passage of time is underlined as the reason for decaying. He witnesses beautiful things wither but has no further interactions with them. Unlike Heaney who picked blackberries, Shakespeare only "beholds" a past prime violet and "sees" barrens of trees. In Sonnet 12, it is time rather than human actions that is essential in causing decay. The poem begins with the ticks of clock and continues with the transition from day to night. Then, in the second quatrain, tall trees lose their leaves when summer passes. This leads to the conclusion in the ending couplet that "Time's scythe", which is a part of nature's law, makes everything beautiful fade.

The story line of Heaney's reminiscence is established on human greed. The poet longed for more after having tasted the first blackberry. Called by this desire, he picked blackberries in a violent way, though his hands were hurt by thorns. First, Heaney describes the seemingly innocent activity with such sensual words as "lust", "thickened wine", and "blood", denoting the desire in the young boy. He even clearly states that he had a "lust for picking". Another eye-catching word choice is the list of names of containers: "milk cans, pea tins, jam pots". The poet and his friends were indiscriminate in their choice of containers; they needed as many as possible, in order to collect more blackberries and satisfy their lust. Moreover, a sequence of monosyllabic nouns quickens the melodic flow, illustrating how eager the poet was to pick more sweet berries. Both language and sound in Blackberry-Picking highlights the picker's desire. In this way, the greed in human nature is held more responsible for the decay.

Whilst both Shakespeare and Seamus Heaney believe that decay is inevitable, they disagree on why this process takes place and, therefore, disagree on solutions. The simple advice Shakespeare gives the young man is to reproduce. Reproduction, as a method to achieve immortality, is a conformity to nature's law. The advice to reproduce does not show up until the closing couplet, but the ground of this suggestion, nature's cycle, has been highlighted in the three quatrains. For example, "Borne on the bier" portrays a passed-away old man lying on the bier, but "borne" suggests birth and renewal of generation as well. "Die as fast as they see others grow" in the third quatrain resembles the relationship between parents and children. These references to cycle in nature leads to Shakespeare's advice to "save breed". Heaney, on the other hand, did not give a clear solution but has suggested lust as a main culprit. Blackberries, once sweet and beautiful, rotted "once off the bush" and it was humans driven by temptation that had picked them off the branches. One may infer from Heaney's emphasis on lust that minimizing greed in human nature is the only remedy.

The dispute could be because the poets are of different time periods. Shakespeare lived the 17th century when human beings had little power over nature. Since they were dependent on nature to a great extent for safety and productivity in agrarian societies, the only way to live a better life seems to conform to nature's law. For example, when looking for places to settle, people in agrarian societies turn to nature for help and consider a great deal factors related to nature like climate and water availability. Likewise, when pondering how to fight mortality, the most available solution is to comply to nature and to create offspring.

In the 20th century, industrialization and urbanization had revolutionized not only human/nature relationship but also relationships within human society. First, technological developments made humanity less dependent on nature. Meanwhile, with more people living in cities, inter-personal relationship become more complex. This may have led Heaney to reflect deeply on human nature, especially on greed.

To conclude, Shakespeare emphasizes nature while Heaney stresses human nature when they analyze the reason behind decay. In Sonnet 12, Shakespeare believes that decay is non-escapable because of nature's power, unless the young man seeking advice reproduce; in Blackberry Picking, Heaney sees human lust as the prime cause of beautiful things fading. They then address the reasons behind decay, with Shakespeare advising the young man to reproduce and Heaney arguing decay will happen again and again unless humans refrain their excessive desires.

Works cited: XXX

Sonnet 12

(By William Shakespeare)

Blackberry Picking

(By Seamus Heaney)

Writing Feedback / METHODS Section: Factors that Influence the Destination Choice of International Students [3]

Hi, the following text is the methods section of my essay about Factors that Influence the Destination Choice of International Students.
Please give me your opinion on the structure and language about this writing. Cheers!

studying abroad - identifying students choices

Methods

This project aimed to identify key pull factors affecting students' study abroad choices and the relative importance of these factors. It further attempted to examine the difference in attitude between exchange and degree students towards these variables.

Respondents are non-British undergraduates in a university in northeast England. Students who were on pathway programs were excluded, because their aims (INTO Study, 2019) were distinct from those of exchange and degree students. 12 respondents were selected, whose demographic features are shown in Tables 1 and 2. The sample covered 7 different countries and 7 courses in order to be representative of the whole international student population. Same number of exchange and degree students were recruited to compare the two groups of students.

Questionnaires comprised of 10 questions were sent to respondents via email. Respondents were asked about basic information pertaining to their courses in Newcastle University, why they decided to study abroad, and why they chose the UK as study-abroad destination. To quantify students' valuation of determinants, a diamond-ranking survey was conducted. Respondents were asked to rank provided factors according to how much they value these variables. Out of 9 common factors, they were asked to select one most important factor, 2 second-most important, 3 third most important, 2 second-least important, and one least important. Respondents were also asked to explain why they valued each factor as such.

Writing Feedback / On Tackling Congestion in Chinese Cities [3]

Hi, the following is

a practice essay about congestion in China.

Suggestions will be appreciated :)

Over the last two decades, congestion has plagued major Chinese cities, including mega-cities like Beijing and Shanghai, as well as smaller provincial capitals. Associated with air pollution, gas consumption, health threat, congestion has become a menace to modern cities. To tackle congestion, ownership and use of cars need to be contained.

The issue stems from a surging population density in cities, which is partly due to rapid urbanization. Floods of people left farming for opportunities in industrial and service sectors. Some of them have managed to own a car and to use it on a daily basis, thus causing to congestion. Besides, Chinese, unlike north Americans, prefer to live in city centers rather than in suburbs. This also contributes to a denser population and therefore, more cars in city center.

But a dense city population can also provide incentives for people to choose bicycles and public transport over cars. First, cars are not a cost-effective option to travel in heavily populated city centers. Parking spaces can be overwhelmingly expensive and automobiles can barely move faster than bikes on packed streets. Also, the fact that most people live in centers rather than in suburbs makes public transport a convenient choice. In suburbs where population is spread out, one may have to journey for half an hour to find a bus station. In city centers, by contrast, it may take less than 5 minutes to reach an underground station or a bus stop, before taking advantage of public transport to commute. Therefore, there is hope that alternatives, if convenient enough, could shift city-dwellers away from cars.

One new alternative is bike-renting. Shared-bike schemes sprung up in Beijing streets in 2015 and have put more people on two wheels. Yet there are downsides. A large number of bikes are abandoned due to vandalism or lack of use. Rows of shared bikes have been reported to block pedestrian paths and bicycle tracks in Beijing. Bicycles that should have alleviated congestion now become wastes that further crowd the city. Meanwhile, private bikes are not doomed to become obsolete. They are green, beneficial for health, and easy to store. City authorities and eco protection groups can advertise on these features to promote cycling.

Another alternative is public transport and more has to be done on that front. While metropolises like Beijing have intricate underground and bus networks, smaller cities do not. If a public transport network cover the entire city, cars would be less necessary. A more sophisticated bus or underground network requires major investments, subsidized or even paid for by public budget. But the cost would be worth it for the congestion and pollution that would be reduced.

To conclude, congestions arise from rapid urbanization and Chinese people's preference of living in city centres. But the factors that have swollen the number of cars on streets can also be incentives for less car use. To persuade people away from traveling by car, alternatives should be promoted, including bikes and public transport.

(502 words)

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Will all jobs eventually be done by artificially intelligent robots? Human vs machine. [2]

AI is likely to replace repetitive jobs

Prompt:
Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

Answer: The development of artificial intelligence has given rise to the fear that all occupations will one day be replaced by robots. This essay will argue that although some jobs may be automated, others cannot be done by machines.

Dull and dangerous jobs are likely to be done by robots in the future. Robots that do repetitive tasks tend to require less complex programming and are, therefore, less expensive. They can be cost-effective tools to deal with monotonous tasks. In fact, some markets have already replaced cashiers with check-out machines. Artificially intelligent robots may also do work in toxic environments in the place of human workers.

However, some other jobs can never be done by machines. One example is professions that require creativity. This is because robots only carry out program instructions; they cannot generate new ideas. For example, fiction writers are unlikely to lose their job to AIs, because creativity lies at the very heart of their profession. Also, innovative engineers who develop new features for robots will not be replaced.

Jobs that entail high communication skills can only be done by humans, too. For instance, psychology consultants provide clients with emotional care. Requiring experience and sharp instincts, the job is unlikely, if not impossible, to be acquired by robots.

To conclude, in the next few years, AI is likely to replace repetitive jobs at an intimidating speed. But this does not mean it will make everyone unemployed, because jobs that involve creativity and interpersonal skills cannot be automated.

Writing Feedback / Does modern communication technology have negative effects on social relationships? [2]

social revolution

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

Online communication technologies have revolutionized how people interact with each other. I agree that these technologies have adverse impacts on interpersonal relationships.

Social apps may make communication shallower and thus make relationships more cosmetic. First, people, particularly the youth, may trade off face-to-face communication for online messaging. In this way, they would miss important non-verbal information including facial expressions, tones, and body language. Relegating face-to-face talks to exchange of texts could result in a lack of deep understanding between people. Also, the "like" feature on social media cannot strengthen interpersonal ties. This is because "likes" do not carry any information further than general appreciation. On the contrary, spending too much time on liking posts could mean that no time is left for quality communications.

An equally worrying effect of online communication is that it may spread jealousy and anxiety. Fascinating travel pictures, photos of perfect bodies, and impressive update on profiles are abundant on Facebook feeds. On seeing these posts from friends, one may feel jealous and anxious. Some may even feel like a failure in comparison to their friends. To avoid this sense of defeat, some may alienate themselves from their friends. As a result, online communication tools could make their users more isolated.

To conclude, modern messaging tools could degrade interpersonal relationships, although they were designed to forge communication. Main impacts include shallower interactions and a sense of alienation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing 2: Compulsory unpaid community service for high school students [2]

volunteering in communities for free

Prompt: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Nowadays increasing numbers of high school students engage in volunteer community work. Some hold that high schools should include such work as an obligatory part of curriculum. I agree that community service can enhance students' various skills; however, it should not be a prerequisite for graduation.

Volunteer service in communities can help students develop skills that cannot be learnt from classrooms. Volunteer activities can boost students' interpersonal skills by engaging them with a wide range of community members. When volunteering, teenagers may learn how to communicate effectively with people of varied age groups and social backgrounds. Such skills would be valuable assets to students' future careers.

Compassion is another key quality that would be enhanced from community service. For instance, caregiver volunteers would be more likely to empathize with the elderly and those with physical difficulties. This experience may develop community service providers' compassion, a key attribute in a responsible member of society.

However, unpaid community service should not be mandatory for high school attendees, as the qualities that are expected to develop from community volunteering can also be gained elsewhere. Communication skills, for example, can be improved from paid part-time jobs. Moreover, some paid tasks including event organizing and product promoting can involve more intensive interaction with people than community service. Compassion can arise from volunteering developing countries, not necessarily in students' own community. Students should enjoy the right to choose between community service and various alternatives.

To conclude, volunteering in communities can enrich high school students by enhancing their interpersonal skills and compassion, preparing them to be qualified professionals and responsible citizens. Yet community service should only optional, because various alternatives can achieve similar, if not better, effects.

Writing Feedback / Visitors numbers to Ashdown Museum before and after its renovation [3]

Hi! This piece of writing is for IELTS Writing Task 1. Comments/criticism/suggestions please!

Summarise the information from the provided table

Prompt: The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essay: The table gives information about the amounts of visitors received by Ashdown Museum during the years before and after its renovation. The chart indicates visitors' degrees of satisfaction during the two periods.

Overall, after refurbishment, the museum received more visitors and provided better visit experience. The museum saw a significant reduction in the share of visitors who reported "dissatisfaction".

Visitor numbers rose from 74,000 to 92,000 after renovation, a significant increase by almost a quarter. Another remarkable gain that can be observed is the percentage of visitors who felt "satisfied" or "very satisfied". This proportion has been less than half before refurbishment, but soared to 75% during the year after refurbishment, with 40% being "satisfied" and 35% feeling "very satisfied".

Negative feedbacks, on the other hand, shrank after renovation. 40% of the visitors had rated their experience as dissatisfactory and another 10% had felt worse during the year before the museum was renovated. After the renovation, dissatisfaction levels slumped to 15% while the percentage of visitors feeling very dissatisfied dropped to 5%.

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