Writing Feedback / Parents should be concerning towards unhealthy lifestyle by overseeing their child's activities [3]

Write about the following topic.
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statements?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, the problems of unhealthy lifestyle has been faced the child life. Some of recent articles often reports the topic about the important roles of parents and schools as the agents of children first role models. I suppose the statements which said the parents and schools have the biggest responsibility in children lifestyle. Overall, the parents should be concerning towards common of unhealthy lifestyle by overseeing the child's activities started from their foods consumption to their un-healthcare behavior.

In fact, food choices always being the most common problems of the kindergarten or the child in early age period. However, some of the child usually eat some food or snacks that non-hygiene or not enough nutrition for their grown period. So, the role of parents and schools in here for directing the child to be more selected of their food consumption or snack choices. As example, the women as being the mother in Japan almost 75 % have been controlling their child food by provides the child for brings the meals before going to schools or play group. These aimed for prevents the child in consuming the unhealthy foods during in the school or outside the home. Whereas, the schools also can take their position as an agent of against the child in consuming unhealthy foods. For example, the schools can provides the healthy meals as menu of the school's cafeteria such as the chicken pour, fruits salad, vegetables egg rolls and other healthy drinks such as milk or yoghurt rather than supplies the flavor snacks or the sugary drinks.

In addition, the parents and the schools should be against the un-healthcare behavior of the child. For example, the child's behavior than non-hygiene during eating and playing time. Occasionally, the children keep eating or take a meals that has been fallen on the ground. So, the main duty for parents and the schools is giving the child's more knowledge of hygiene life such as simply practices of hand-wash before take a meals or after play. Whereas in the schools, the children should be got an information or socialization of hand-wash practices and its effect toward the children health. At least, the parents and the schools should have been giving an excellent role models to the child during their growing time.

Writing Feedback / Being abroad people become most concerned to all life problems [2]

WRITING TASK I (INTEGRATION PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE LIVING ABROAD)

The bar chart provides information of the difficulties people face when stay in abroad based on ages. Overall, the highest problems of the people includes economic plans, healthcare and education plans for child have been occurred on the young adults periods. Whereas the most problem such as education plans have been the least problem to people in 55 years old and above.

The other side, the problems of financial and healthcare necessity have been the higher priority than education plans for the young adults periods between 18 and 34 years old. However, according to development ages, the people becomes most concerned to all of the problem life includes the priorities of economical plans, healthier life concern and education planning for children. Based on the data, the healthcare concern has been upward trends in over people life time since young adults until elderly periods by 25 percent. At least, these problems could been increased for healthcare priority and had been decreased for finance concern and also education plans for child in the 55 years old or above.

(162 words)

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Writing Feedback / The English teachers were three times less popular in Ontario, than the French language tutors there [3]

Percentage of first-year teacher with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation (Unit 3 Page 36)

The graph provides information about the percentage of teachers were hired by years of graduation between 2001 and 2007. Overall, the graph of English language teachers has been downward trends and bottomed at 25 % while in the same year the French language teachers has been rose slightly and reached a peak at 75 %. According to the data, the French language teachers has been increased and higher than English language teachers.

Over seven year periods, the number of French language teachers had been recruited fell by 18 % from year of graduated in 2001 to 2002 and rose slightly to under 70 % before had been stable position over three-years periods from 2003 to 2005 and peaked at 75 % in 2007.

On the other side, the number of English language teachers had been plunge suddenly from 2001 to 2003 before rose steadily around from 40 % to 43 % between 2003 and 2005. Over three years periods stood at 2005 to 2007, the number of English language teachers had been drop dramatically to 29 % in 2007.

(179 words)

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Writing Feedback / We Should Pay Too Much Attention to Celebrities Lives or Ordinary People? [NEW]

Writing Task 2
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, the news program are more variety. The people can enjoy some alternative topics not only about entertainment of celebrities but also about inspiring stories of ordinary people. I tend to agree with the statements which the ordinary people important to report as well as public figures. Because I think the ordinary people also can inspire others with share their live stories to wide people by mass-media.

In my opinion, TV programs which showing about celebrities live in a long day can make watcher are tedious. So, the people should receive new program such us reality show of ordinary people which have achievement or positive values to be shared. Therefore, the author of mass-media or the producer of TV's program should give more attention to ordinary people who can encourage other people. For instance, the live story of someone who can give better solutions towards environment or human life difficulties like. As example, Dr. Gamal Albinsaid as a young doctor who success with his action in build rubbish bank for create an insurance as the solution of poverty in around of his living place in Malang, East Java. In addition, by overseeing the examples of other actions, the viewer can be wiser and learn new positive side of other people lives. However, the celebrities also important to reports but not all of their lifestyle, presumably author or producer should report only things that appropriate for wide public consumption and certainly have positive impact to viewer.

In other sides, there are some celebrities who have multitalented and great achievements not only in their career on entertainment but also in their academic or job side. Some of them are Tasya Kamila, Cinta Laura, Maudy Ayunda and Vidy Aldiano. They are not only have many talents in singing, acting or presenting but also can prove their self can be motivated to young generation for reach higher education in abroad by get scholarship with they own effort or without use their popularity. Some stories like these, I think important for being public consumption. So, young people can more inspiring and burning them with higher motivations and dream to be success people in the future.

In conclusion, as long as the author of mass-media or program creator on television selecting with their news contents or just covers the ordinary people or celebrities who have positive accomplishment is better than if they creates an issue of celebrities just for entertaining people.

(405 words)

Writing Feedback / The information about the main factors of lack productivity of farming land over the world [4]

Writing Task 1 (Scoring Test Week-III)
Causes of Land Degradation in Worldwide and Some Regions

The pie chart and the table provide information about the main lack productivity factors of agrarian in over the world and its specific effects toward soil reduction in several continents in 1990s.The pie chart and the table were presented in the percentage includes over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivating as factors of soil reduction. Overall, over-grazing is the highest factor of soil reduction in worldwide and also in Europe's continent during 1990s.

Based on the table data, Europe was dominated high scores almost in all factors and causes it became the highest ground-derivate by 23 percent with logging was 9.8 percent and followed by over-cultivation and over-grazing with 7.7 and 5.5 percent. Then, the second position of high soil degradation was happened in Oceania by the percentage is 13, which over-grazing as the most contributes with 11.3 percent. And the last, the country with the smallest land degradation was occurred in North America with only 5 percent. Additionally, to sum up almost all regions have difference in causes of soil degradation.

(171 words)

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Writing Feedback / The main duty of parents and teachers to make children more sociable in society [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Writing Task 2 (Scoring Test Week-III)

Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment. In addition, the parents and the teachers are the first adult that very close with the child. Thus, both of them should take an action for directing the child being a good member of society.

Actually, the parents can do their roles through giving the child opportunity in being pro-social or fast responses towards every people that needs help in nearby of the child. First, surely the parents should show them a real example as the role models for children. For example, the parents usually active in any-social activity such as working together with other society in around their house every weekend. Parents can asks their children to join with them. Indirectly, through this simple attitude, the parents have been taught their children to be socialize and increase their ability in social interaction.

On the other hand, the teachers also have same position as important as the parents. For example, the teachers can educate the child to improves their social responsibility since early by anything of extra-curriculum activities. By doing some activity as being the member of scout team, can give the challenge to the child for makes them become more sociable. Because the children as being the students in the school also needs for making social group not only in the class but also in outside of the school. With become a member of scout, the child will be more practice in give help to other people directly and immediately can build up the social character to the children in society.

All in all, with giving support towards children for build them being active person in social relationship is the main duty of the parents and also the teachers to create these thing grow from inside of the child self.

(330 words)

Writing Feedback / A Wind Turbine as an Electricity Generator in this Era [2]

WRITING TASK I (Unit 5 Page 56)

The diagrams show about a process of generating electricity which produced by wind and where are the generator spot most appropriately to be placed. Overall, a wind turbine can be placed in nearby or far away from of settlement areas, but certainly the energy is produced will be different depend on its location which positioned.

Additionally, a wind turbine is made from some equipment which usually consist of steel tower, blades-fiberglass or wood, a wind sensor tool for controlling speed and as detector of wind direction and also a computer for receiving information from wind sensor. Actually, the process of a wind turbine is simple enough. First, the wind which blow will make the blades rotates until the wind sensor focused on the wind that have maximum speed and position accurately to produce the maximum energy or powerful generator.

In this case, the spot of wind turbines position also very influence to the electric output. However, the wind turbine which has been placed in offshore or in hills have higher powerful energy rather than if it is placed in the settlement regions with electric produced are 1.5 mega-watts : 100 kilowatts respectively.

(191 words)

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Writing Feedback / A Perspective Happiness of People in Their Marriage or Single Life Over Time [4]

WRITING TASK I (Unit 7 Page 76)

The charts provides the information about of pleasurable feelings of someone who have spouse and not have spouse in the US along with their glad feelings because presence of child in marriage life. Overall, the people who have husband or wife as life partner will be more pleasure over time rather than they who do not married. Additionally, all of the spouses are still keep happier even though they have or not have next generation or children.

Based on the data, the first chart shows the people who are married in teenager stage to young adult stage (18-29 years old) are the happiest than all whose marriage after these stages. However, the people who not have spouse seems have happiness which lesser than the people whose marriage. But for people in elderly stage seems happier than all stage even though they do not married.

Beside of that, the presence of children in all of marriage life not give significantly effects which different towards their happiness. Although, the people who have child in toddler stage until teenager stage (under 18 years old) are the most happiest than when they have children with age above 18 years old or not both of them.

(182 words)

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Writing Feedback / A Perspective of Working in Own Business or Being an Employee [3]

Write about the following topic.

Some people decide to start their own business instead working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, entrepreneurship become more popular and attractive for some people who want to build their own business. There are many examples of successful people who create their own job. Although, an entrepreneur must be face several challenges or risks, but overall I suppose that the positive effect of create own job space more outweigh any drawback.

However, a person who act as an entrepreneur have different perspective with commonly mindset of people as usually. Certainly, the people who have own business will be more freely in working time. They also can be the leader of their own company. Moreover, the people who have innovative thinking will be more get advantages with this job, where they can develop their idea into a new things or new products that never exist before. Thus, if they are lucky, their products will attract the consumer for using it intensively. In addition, the people can more earn higher income than other competitor. The most different point of people who have own business is convenience life which keep earn money or income even when he doesn't work instantly.

In the other side, not all people have same passion about entrepreneurship. Part of them presumably not suitable with this job. Hence, the negative things if the people are not ready to handle the risk of business is make them will be lose. Several things of drawbacks being an entrepreneur are there is not guarantee for lasting successfulness. As long as the new competitor still be there, lucky or unlucky is always is absolutely change.

In conclusion, the people who have own job space will be more independently in arrange their enterprise and have more skilled up in managing their financial matters.

(282 words)

Writing Feedback / Rule of "Smart Casual Dress" in Workplace for Employee [3]

WRITING TASK II (Unit 8 Page 84)

Some organizations, believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there are many industries which have popular name in the public. Not only because those industries has been famous or successful, but also because their employee which have good performance or has given excellent service to the public. Thus, not seldom a workplace give some rules to their employees to pay attention with their first impressions in dress style and work attitude. In here, I want to give my opinion about the role of employee dress code and it is related towards employee working task.

I think, the rule of dress code style in office is linked to several factors of the workplace itself. Occasionally, smart casual dress is interpreted differently in many workplaces. Some important factors that affects the rule of workforces dress usually depends on industrial type, size of company, number of employee and sometimes based on amount of interaction between employees and customers. In workplace which the main working task mostly operated in office, a 'smart casual dress' or 'dress office looks' certainly become the work style of employees. For example, in bank, hospital, airport or other industries with main job in office usually have some rules where the employee must wear outfit that looks officially includes vests, dress pants, ties and leather shoes for man whereas dress shirts, skirts, outfit enhancing jewelry and boots or high heels for woman. Overall, their appearance often more good looking and eye-catching in order that giving the best service to customers. Hence, the work quality entirely more looks from their performance in work and by their outward styles.

However, for other industries which have core business in factories are not need imposes the workforces to wear formal outfit when working in field or outside of office. As long as they are can work productively and do the best for their work, the dress smartly is not urgent problem. The employer in field industrial also usually more freely about outfit in the workplace, and mostly tend to consider the quality of work.

Eventually, I argue that the rule of smart casual dress in workplace must suitable based on tasks job of employee in office or follow the entirely rules from the employer.

(344 words)

Writing Feedback / Information of Bulgarian people who remain in country after graduation for continuing their studies [3]

Writing Task I ( October 31, 2016)

The chart provides information of Bulgarian people who stay in overseas after graduated for continuing their studies in 2002, 2006 and 2008. Levels of study program consist of elementary school or lower education, junior high school and senior high school degree. Overall, the Bulgarian students who had graduated from junior high school are the highest number of students who planning study abroad than other graduates degree during those time. Then, the people who graduated from primary school or lower education degree showed upward trends over those periods.

Based on the chart data, it can be seen that the students of secondary education had been steadily on the top levels by average data above fifty percent even though actually had shown downward trends started 2002, 2006 and then to 2008 by 6 % lesser than in 2002. On the other hand, elementary school levels had dramatically increased started at 2002 by 18 % to 32 % in 2008. Then, the people who graduated from senior high school education had fluctuated trends which had increased in 2002 until 2006 by 3 % and then had suddenly fallen to 9 % in 2008.

(192 words)

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Writing Feedback / Over time, the people's lifestyle had been changed. The technology can be a main factor for it [2]

Writing Task II ( October 31, 2016)

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Over time, the people's lifestyle had been changed. Technology can be the factor which affected of the people lifestyle. Nowadays, there are many tools that were invented for make people lives complete and become easier than the past. Although, there are some people feel cannot have a good lifestyle and others feel can enjoy their lives as better as if they want it by using the technology. Actually, I think both of the people issues above depend on people ways to arrange their time and activities all the days.

In fact, today there are many sports equipment and gymnastic tools for people use in the home without an instructor. I think those things are very suitable for people who want to keep their fit but not have much time to take workout activities in the gym center or in outside home. Certainly, the people who work in the office can apply this way to maintenance their healthy after working in their home. So, there are not reasons for ignoring important of exercises because of the busy activity or difficult to practice it alone at home, due to every tool usually complete with CD instruction for learning how to use it.

However, maybe the price of the tools is not affordable for all people. Sometimes, only who have high financial that can buy the gymnastic tools such as a threat-mile device or weight-loss equipment. But this is not the reason for people who have an average income because at present there are many gym places that provide some tools for gym activities or workout exercises with low price for uses it just usually only 5,000 to 10,000 Rupiah per hour. So, every people can freely use the tools that their needs.

To sum up, actually, I think today we have more accesses to the healthy lifestyle as our habitually. All of it just depends on ourselves in how we manage our time and budget which appropriate with our necessary.

(330 words)

Writing Feedback / Various principal communication skills of an employee in a workplace [2]

Writing Task I (November 1, 2016)

The table provides an information of the result of two questionnaires about common communication skills were the employees usually used in their jobs in 1997 and 2006. The forms of questionnaires were has given are divided into two items that consist of the external communication skills item and the internal communication skills item by percentage. Overall, the results have shown that the external communication had been essential skills which were often used by an employee rather than the internal communication skills, and a skill of dealing with people had been the highest skill usage in external communication skills rather than others competencies of communication.

Based on the table data, the dealing with people skill had slightly increased by 5 % in 2006 since in 1997 and had become the highest
percentage of communication skill usage by the employee rather than other competencies in external and internal communication in the workplace. On the other hand, the listening carefully to colleagues had been the second higher communication skill usage by the employee in the workplace and also had increased by 5 % in 2006 with 47 % before started at 38 % in 1997.

However, based on the data information, the employees argue that the selling a product or service are not too important used and had been the lowest competency skill usage after had decreased by 3 % in 2006 with only 21 % of external communication type usage. While the employees argue that making speech or presentation skills in internal communication competencies is not too worried and had been the lowest percentage of all competencies communication skills with only 11 % in 2006 after increased by 4 % since in 1997.

(287 words)

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Writing Feedback / Perspective of Electronic Media Effect in People Relationship [4]

Writing Task II (November 1, 2016)

The use of electronic media has negative effects on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the electronic media usage of common people become an essential thing in their life. However, the people seemingly become depending on electronic media usage as a part of their necessary all the time in every day. Because of benefits an electronic media usage, inconstantly were influenced the people keep their relationship of each other. Somehow, I believe the presence of the electronic media gave us many advantages outweigh any drawbacks.

At present, along with the people activities became more variance and multitasking, the electronic media usage can be the tools for help the people keep their relationship by remote communication with their colleagues. For example, the students whose studying abroad certainly far away with their families. So in this condition, a mobile phone as the electronic media can be the tool in communication with family in other place or with remote people.

Moreover, today the electronic media such as mobile phone, laptop and notebook were launched with any features which supporting communication becomes easier and flexible because the people now can download any features of social media applications by their electronic media. For example, a mobile phone or notebook which complete with online access and social media applications such as LINE or Skype can possibly the students keep communication face to face with their relatives by gadgets.

To sum up, I completely disagree with statements that said the electronic media has a negative impact on our relationship, due to I think the electronic media is very useful to people life.

(261 words)

Writing Feedback / The process of air circulation which goes in and out in through several ventilation holes in house [4]

Writing Task I (Page 35 Unit 5D)

The diagram shows the processes of air circulation which out and in across of several ways of the house. Overall devices of the process in releases heat temperatures of house made by the conventional method or non-electric usage for cooling down the heating temperature where only by several ventilations, and it was designed on the top and every part in houses for makes air easily circulates with fresh air from outside into the houses with balanced compositions.

Based on the picture, we can show the house had been complete with almost seven ways of air ventilations have been placed on the top of house side and in each bottom corners and also from the underground of the house. Some fan vents have been placed on the nearby of the recessed lights or in rooms that easily to be heated such as in the kitchen and in the wash machine rooms. However, there are three big windows apart of ventilations that surely faster to replace heat atmosphere inside of the house.

(173 words)

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Writing Feedback / The main perspective of Businesses is to Make Money - but is it the only priority? [6]

Writing Task II (Page 40 Unit 5)
The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Today, business is the one's tool of people earns money, However, as the way for earn money, some people occasionally only make money as a priority of behind the business that he has built. In this case, I disagree with the statements. I think the most important aims of business created is not money but the utilized of the firm in products or services which produced is number one.

I have been seen some examples of business collapsed because of not given customer wants. Due to for reached a lot of benefits the owner has ignored the quality and ultimate useful side of his products or services provided. Sometimes, the owner only focuses on thinking about how much money or maximum profitable that he can produce by his business and being underestimated with the main purpose of business where it must be stay stand up for a long time until the future. This is an example of a businessman who traps of money profitable mindset by his business, just called his as mister X. He has built some laundry service in around of his residence places, he believes that laundry business very appropriate with his neighborhood who always busy or major of an executive that not have too much time for wash their clothes and must need his services. Then, he was briefly to build some counters for his business. However, he has focused on earned maximum incomes in shortly time and then lost his focus on giving excellent services to his customers. At the last, the customers should be move to other places when not satisfied with the services.

Based on the example story above, we can see that when the businessman only focuses on maximum profitable or money priority, he will become greedy for spending their capitals just for one business idea and less thinking about an innovation or strategy for sustain the customers intends to use the service that he provided. On the other hand, there are will be there any competitor in the same core business, and smart marketing skills also innovation more important rather than concerning on money profitable in business. So its conclusion due to those reasons, to sum up, my opinion is opponents with the statements asked.

(372 WORDS)