Writing Feedback / IELTS : children consciousness about caring people; course about voluntary social service in school [2]

IELTS : unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes

Nowadays, school's curriculum improve getting better every years. Undoubtfully, there has a school which add course about community service based on voluntary like charity, developing community or teaching sport. Some people argue that high school should arrange a lesson about society service but the others clash about that statement because the children have to study about courses which useful for getting a job in their future. From all of those statements, I tend to agree that the school should add a lesson about unpaid community service because it is good for children to build their awarness in their society and make them become humble person.

First foremost, teaching children for caring their society is not simple as a turn hand. There has many of effort to build their awarness. One of effort that adult can do is execute a programme in high school about voluntary for community service as a compulsory part. The activity will make children open their mind about many of people do not have good access to improve their live and enhance their softskill in organize an activity. For instance, Charity for victims of disaster. The students have to manage the activity which can donate money or stuffs without unpaid. As a result, the student will learn sharing what they get to the others who need their help and learn to develop their society to be good environment.

On the other hand, several people disagree with community service lesson because they thought this lesson is not important for children's future. Some parents thought their children have to study about mathematics, physics, economics which more beneficial to get job. Frankly, that lesson is prime but not improve the social skill of their children which need in their adult life in future. For example, the students expert in economics and get a great position in company but for their social life, they do not have experience to care each other. Thus, they will be arrogant for their social community.

One on the whole, that is good to add course about voluntary social service in high school programmes because it could improve the children consciousness about caring people. Nevertheless, the school still should teach about basic course better to make balance softskill and hardskill for students.

Writing Feedback / IELTS : Children will easier memorize and manage the foreign words since they are young [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is no doubt true that foreign language has become an important part in our society without exception for children. Some people believe that the best time for learning a foreign language at primary and secondary school. Though, learning foreign language at primary school has more benefit than secondary school.

As we know, the age average of student in primary school are in early age. At this age, the children are easy to memorize new phrases and grammar for learning foreign language. The children's brain do not have many pressures like adult's brain, so they can memorize each word which is given by their teacher. Thus, primary school is the right place to study about basic lesson.

On the contrary, students at secondary school study about complex subject which they got from their primary school. They do not have time for learning foreign language from basic or memorize the words because they are going to take other subject which more important for them at the moment. For example, the student should focus to study about mathematics, biology or physics rather than study about foreign language. That subject are needed to take the exam for their achievement.

In conclusion, I completely agree that the best time learning a foreign language at primary school. The students will easier to memorize and manage the words since they were young. Different to students at secondary school, they do not have enough time for learning languages. It is much better for children to learn language as early as possible.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: established preparation at school to become good mother and father? [2]

Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Why children have to get formal training about parenting at school? Nowadays, that became a big question for some parents. Many people agree about that training but I think that is not make a sense so I tend to disagree for some reasons. One of them is it will influence the psychology as a child.

What is exactly the meaning of "good parents"? I think some people have different perspective to construe that meaning so how the school ready to give formal training to their student? They think to become good parents must start from child because that is like basic knowledge about taking care families. If we look further there is a complicated problem that children would not really understand such as educated children about sex, drugs, or protect their kids from bullying. Presumably, the formal training is the right way to cut down problem in family and bring over children how raising kid. In the end of lesson they will think mature from their ages and it is not good for their mentally.

Nevertheless, children have their childhood and it is contradiction if they have to understand about how to be good parents. That will intrude their mind and psychology. Take one example, children who are not old enough have to understand about adult's problem especially in family. They will consider and take it as high responsibility but in fact, there are many ways to growth as good parents from their experiences.

Accordingly, at school, the children educated to become good person in their society and high achievement for their future. Moreover, they prepared to encounter adult's problem after they ready with knowledge which is give at school. That is not as good parents but good people.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : International Sporting in easing international tensions [4]

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Throughout the world, international games which held worldwide have important role to reinforce the relation and reduce the tension between many countries which join in those competitions. Some people disagree with this statement while I tend to agree because international games can be necessary for international relations and national unity.

First and foremost, international games like Olympics and football World Cup is a chance for other countries to meet and build a good diplomatic between among of them. For example, in match between The US with UEA country, they try to build sportivity during the match and give the best performance to supporter and viewer. Although, as we know that both of them do not have a good relation in diplomatic because they always have high tension. We realized that sport can change people feelings at the different time and events. Thus, the two nations could reduce their political and ideological tensions by international competitions.

Furthermore, with this events, it could make the citizen has patriotic feeling to defend and support their country. Sometimes in some countries have dispute with their citizen but when the international competitions held, they feel the patriotic emotions and bring national prestige.

On the other hand, some sports matches can make international relations worse. For instance, in matched football World Cup between France and Italy which Zidane did headbutt to Materazi in 2006. The supporter of France cannot accept this and the emotions explode in aggressive way. Even much worse, the supporter was full of tension overflow and angry with the opponent then the relations between two countries was fiercely. As far as I know, after the match Zidane was punished and cannot join in other games.

To sum up, I think international games can be one of good ways to reduce the tension among nations. However, I believe that international competitions cannot be the one way to show the patriotism and peaceful.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Full-time and Part time Education in Britain [4]

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The bar chart shows the total number of male and female who take full-time or part time study in higher education in Britain from 1970 to 1990.

In general, it can be seen from the chart that part time education is the highest number which is chosen by most of student male and female. In contrast, full time education is the lowest number between male and female but it is slightly increase in three periods.

The number of men who take part-time study in 1970 was 1000 thousands. Then, ten years later, it dropped steadily to 850 thousands and went up slowly to 900 thousand in 1990. Turn into the women, the number of student female who take part-time education stood at 700 thousand in 1970 and over the two decades, it rose swiftly by 400 thousand and reached a peak at 1100 thousands.

Conversely, the students who take full-time education in three periods were not many. The number of male in full-time education was 100 thousands and it increased gradually over twenty years to 200 thousands. Next, the lowest number of female in full-time education at approximately 50 thousands but between 1980 and 1990 it grew quickly in around 200 thousands.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TAsk 1 : Small fishing village become European tourist resort (Picture) [3]

The diagrams below show the development of small fishing village its surrounding area into a large European tourist resort.

The pictures illustrate the changing of fishing village in coastal area is becoming a recreation place in Europe.

According to the picture, developing coastal area really significantly. In the past, the area was just the small village to fisherman but after the period of time, many of high buildings and real estate is getting busier and many villagers step aside to other location.

In the beginning, the fishing village had a few residential area, there was large woodland at the left side where was close to farmland and near from housing area there was a harbor. At the top of picture, the area was still natural where was a few building built in there.

Over the years, the coastal area changing a lot where the surroundings of residential area is becoming a lot of commercial areas. There are many buildings replace the natural place around the village, like skyscraper, supermarket and apartment. The harbor is demolished and it changed recreation area while, the woodland is destroyed. In the top of picture, there is new village which build near a mountain and the distance is 10 miles from residential area so there has a main street which connected between to areas.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : School attendance in the UK in 2007 [7]

The chart below shows the result of the survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK in 2007.

The pie chart below reveals the percentage of reasons why many pupils in the UK did not presence at school in 2007.
The reasons of presence student at school was influenced by the condition of their family and school environment. Working parents was the highest percentage among other reason, at 40%. Then, poor of discipline forces the student for attending school rarely while it was 25%, much lower 15% compare with working parents. The last place was method to growth the children, it gave effect to children's character in school, they was lazy to attend class, it was 5%.

Interestingly, the third position of reasons was friends at school. There were group pressure and bullying team with the same percentage 15%. The total of friend's factor was higher than lack of rule in the school, it became 30%.

On the whole, the reason of working parents is the biggest factor causes of poor attendance to many students at school in the UK.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : The Freedom of Creativity [5]

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in word, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As a quote from German philosopher "Art is the daughter of freedom". This is good to reflect about creativity in these days because many artists show their feelings with no doubt. Their expressive feelings are debatable among people because they show their creations by freely and no rules. Some people argue that government has to support their free creative ideas in many of media arts. I tend to disagree with this statement with some reasons.

On the one hand, doing creative will make balance our brain and the people with passion in creativity are able to develop their ideas in many of art media like books, movies, pictures and musics. Based on human right, the artists free to express their feelings because arts are their souls. For instance, abstract picture, this is just the artist who knows about the meaning about their picture. They show their creations in an exhibition and they want their creations get appreciation from others so they feel free to expose their ability in arts.

In contrast, sometimes the artists are too excessive to show their creative ideas so young people will be influenced by artists. Take one example, Adam and Eve picture which is painted in naked picture, for some artists that is an art but when some people see the picture they will assume that is not well-manner to show in public because it could influence the morality of young people. Furthermore, some religions do not allow the controversy picture because it is not appropriate with their beliefs which give priority of respectful. As a result, there will be increase many of social crimes which occur in among us.

Therefore, the government has to make a strict rule for controlling artists to express their creative ideas because their creation would be showed to different social and educational background. Thus, the government has to cooperate with the artists to discussion about separate the good and the bad from their creation before it is given to public.

On the whole, arts are abstracts feeling which people cannot control to express them and I strongly believe that government should make policy to artists for controlling their expressive ideas to decline the negative impacts from arts.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task : Provide a free mobile phone and free access to find jobs [4]

Some people think that government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs.

To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

These days, mobile phone is one of important technology in some countries because it can access many of information that citizen need, take one example information about vacancy, but sometimes it is not free to access. Some people argue that government should provide unemployed people with free access internet and a free mobile phone to find a proper job. Some others argue against.This essay will discuss both arguments.

The number of jobless in some countries increase every years because some people do not know how to get information about jobs which available in their country. Government has an important role to decline the total of unemployed people with free access internet by free mobile phone. For example, government gives a public space for jobless to find a proper job with Wi-Fi connection in the city center so everyone can access many information about companies which are available. Furthermore, it will give benefit to many companies for promoting their profil company so many people will be interest to join in that company and the companies will be more well-known among citizen. Thus, government will decrease the jobless people with the best service which is given in public area.

The opponent argue that government should not provide the jobless people with technology services because it will increase the number of crime in some countries. For instance, in my country in Indonesia, some people take a benefit in this situation which many people do not have a job. They will give a fake information about company and deceive the unemployed people to persuade them join in a fake job. Then, when they interest to apply, the company require them to take some money from the applicants. Thus, some people do not agree to find a job by access free internet.

One on the whole, I think it is a good idea for governments to provide many information about jobs to their citizen by technology services but they have selective to the company which really need workers and input their data in government system so the citizen do not feel deceive when they apply a job.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Total earnings and average annual salaries in the City of London [5]

The pie chart below shows the earning of the City of London for the years 1985 and 1995. These earnings are known as invisible earnings and they showed huge increases in the years studied. The graph shows comparisons between earnings for male and female executive in the various financial sectors for the same years.

The pie charts show the overall earnings of the City of London over decade, from 1985 to 1995 while the table reveals the average annual salaries between men and women executives in the differences financial sectors.

According to the data, the highest of total earnings is recorded in 1995 while the average annual salaries for all financial sectors that male executives show the higher rate than female in 1985 onward.

Firstly, in 1985, the sector in banking was the highest sector which earn much money, followed by insurance in the second place then commodity trading and currency deal sector. Then, the total earning in that year was just £ 3,355 than banking. Sector of banking, insurance and currency dealing were slightly decreased. In contrast, over ten years, the total earnings increased over double to £ 6,710 million.

Secondly, moving onto the table, the amount of money earned from male executive always got higher salaries than female for decade. Although, female executive had few salaries, their average salaries increased almost over triple from 1985 to 1995. Then, the average salaries rose up significantly in all of difference sectors in 1995 between male and female. Interestingly, the highest average annual salaries from currency dealing sector at £ 30,000 from male and £ 28,000 from female in 1985 and it increased highly to £ 80,000 both of them.

To sum up, the total earnings in City of London rose up dramatically for ten years and it affect to average annual salaries for various financial sectors.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Many vehicles on British roads [3]

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the eighteen century, the first car had discovered in British. Then, over a hundred years, the number of vehicles increased to 29 million in 2000. While critics claim that the number of alternative transportation should be improved and British Governments have a rule to maintain using of private cars. Personally, I agree that the government's policy should make limited number for using vehicle and give solution for urban and environmental problem.

Since the first car appeared in British, many Britons prefer to use private cars to reach their destination. Over the years, many kinds of feature cars make people interest to buy the new one and it will show about their social class. For example, in 2000, the number of private cars increased significantly to 29 million because the total purchase of cars rose up highly. Thus, the British roads were getting busier and affect to traffic and more pollutant would appear.

The opposite statement said that the British government should be encouraged Britons for using alternative transport and make policy to control car use because the impacts of the highest number of vehicles are urban problems like traffic and environmental damaged or pollution. For instance, the government adding the number of public transportation and improve the quality alternative transport like bus, subway train or build a way for bicycle. Moreover, International laws should be introduced the rules about private cars, such as give the highest tax for people who have a car. Thus, Britons would not buy a car, they could help government to decrease pollution caused by car.

To sum up, the number of using private car in Britain slightly increase every year and until 20th century. The British government has a role to maintain the number of private cars so their country will decrease the traffic and pollution in their cities.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Using electronic calculators in school [7]

Some people believe that electronic calculators should not be allowed in school until after the pupils have mastered metal aritmetic. Others believe that calculators save pupils time, especially with complicated calculations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, technology is used by people not only in the workplace but also in the school, take example electronic calculators. Several people think that the electronic calculators should not allowed in school before they understand about mathematics. Critics claim that calculators can help students to solve the complicated calculation. In my view, using electronic calculators for students make them will hard to understand to solve the mathematics problem by their own knowledge. In this passage, we will discuss both of views.

Mathematics is a complicated subject in the school, as we know it consists of arithmetic's, algebra, and trigonometrics. Students demand to understand how to solve the problem in mathematics with their own knowledge and not with calculators so it trains them to do their next exam. For example, teacher should teach the students about how solve the complicated number like trignometrics and they can answer it with the right way. Furthermore, with their own knowledge they can be diligent to study and enhance their ability about mathematics because they know how to explain the answer which they get. Thus, students can do their exam well without calculators and it affects their future to become more intelligence.

From the opposite statement that pupils can use calculators to solve the problem in mathematics. The reasons are it can save much time for student to do their task about complicated calculation. For instance, some students avoid arithmetic's and algebra in their subject because it is not easy to solve with their own, it need calculators which have tools and key points to do their task. Then, it makes easier for students to answer the difficult question about complicated calculations.

One on the whole, it can be tolerate for some students to use electronic calculators but not in the long term, maybe just in several material which students cannot solve it. Then, their teacher should teach more about how to solve the difficult calculations so the students do their task not depend on calculators but by their own knowledge because it will give benefit for their career in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Fitness betwen 1970 to 2000; 'Since 1970 men became higher membership' [3]

The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000.
The bar chart describes the membership of fitness between men and women over thirty years, from 1970 to 2000.
Generally, it can be seen from the chart that the number of two members of fitness fluctuated.
Since 1970 men became higher membership than women, then it increased highly at 4000 men in 1975. During twenty years, the number of men decreased but until 1995, it rose highly and reach a peak at 1995. After five years, in 2000, it went down significantly to the position 1000 members of men.

However, women started up at 1000 in 1970 and over fifthteen years, it rose highly at approximately 2800 and it felt down slightly then rose up again with the same number at 1985. In 2000, the number of membership of women decreased slightly to 2000 and became higher than men.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Diet and General Health of Students [3]

The charts below give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the type of food which eaten by both of two groups of pupils, while the table describes information about something related to their health.

Generally, it can be seen from the charts and table that containing of food affect to the healthiness. More they consume unhealthy food, more health problem they get.

The pie charts show the type of food with high fat content placed in first position in Group B, it is half portion of the pie chart. Moreover, in Group A still in the high proportion but slightly smaller than Group B by the difference 15%. Then, Group A eat many vegetables and fruits with the percentage are 22% and 8% compared with Group B, consumption of veggies and fruits are just 5%. Interestingly, consumption of cereals and fish in both of groups have the same proportions, at 35% and 5 %.

Moving onto the table, it describes the effect of consuming many types of foods to their health. First, in Group A the percentage of overweight and illness in past year a much lower than Group B by the difference around twofold. Furthermore, many of students in Group A attendance at classes with the percentage is 90 % but in Group B, percent of students who attendance at classes is just 75%.

Overall, it is clear that too many consume unhealthy foods give many bad effects to children's health, mainly for their attendance rate at school.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Fixed Punishments for each type of crime [3]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Deciding on the punishment for each type of crime has been pros and cons. Some may argue that for fixing punishment, it should depend on individual crime and reason for doing that. While, I think this has possible reasons in both of views.

Firstly, as people quote, there are crimes when there is have chances, much of crimes have been appeared today and some argue punishment decided based on type of crime. For the illegal activity, we can mention corruption, for instance. This measure makes suffer of financial lost in some countries and makes their citizen live in poverty. Therefore, corruption is a crime which can infect many people to become corruptors. Then, corruption is a dangerous crime which there is not only government but also manager in some institutions can do it. Again, robberies, murders and rape cases are illegal activities so they should get heavy punishment because they found victims to do crimes. As such, crimes which make suffering other people reasonable to get heavy punishment depend on how they do their crime.

However on the other side of this argument that the reason why people doing crime affect to punishment what will they get. For example, kill somebody to defense ourselves. Much of crimes threat us wherever we are, when somebody tries to attack other people, they have to self defense like fight until they inadvertently kill the culprit. From that case, it will be injustice to person who had committed a crime for self defense because it can not be considered as crime as it was unintentionally done by the person. Moreover, before fixed the punishment, the judge have to looking for the reason and make it clear why people doing that. Thus this makes it clear why the argument that decided punishment depends on motivation for committing it.

In conclusion, government has a key role to arrange the punishment and create a rule which is fair for culprit based on their crimes. So, it makes the culprit do not repeatedly do their fault. Thus, deciding punishment fairly is really important to decrease the criminal in some countries.