Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]

Posts by Stacy Handayani
Name: Stacy Ayu Handayani
Joined: Apr 2, 2015
Last Post: Jun 2, 2015
Threads: 29
Posts: 16  
Likes: 19
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 45 / page 1 of 2
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Stacy Handayani   
Jun 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / Do You Think The Advantages of Medical Care Development Outshine Its Disadvantages? [3]

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Health is arguably one of the most critical aspects of human's life. As such, some people try to improve medical care so as to prevent people from the death and to give them longevity and life expectancy. They believe that this can motivate people to do more in this world since they will live longer. However, I tend to believe that this trend can lead the world to face a higher rate of population and drive us to big problems like poverty and global warming.

The general views has been said that as the medical treatment improve gradually, this allows people to live longer and have life expectancy. Some people believe that this can encourage them to set a plan for their future life. Take dying people as an example, when shopisticated medical technology is believed by people able to cure their illness, in pain, people have motivation to live and tend to set a plan about what they can do in future life. In addition, this trend can prevent the world from extinction since widespread diseases can be cured by advance medical treatment.

Having said that, I tend to believe that this trend lead the world to a big problem, a great number of population. This is arguably one big problem that can drive us to another big problems like global warming, hunger, and poverty. Firstly, as the medication improve, the rate of death decrease significantly. While sick people are cured, babies are born. This causes a steady rise of the world population and this result in the number of houses increase. By building new homes, people just drive the world to experience global warming since green areas are destroyed for building purposes. Furthermore, since people continue to live and grow, they need more food to survive. As a consequence, natural resources are consumed everyday and it soon becomes limited. This drives people to hunger and poverty. Broadly speaking, the development of medical care lead the world to face a high population problem.

All in all, even though the improvement of medication can give people a spirit to survive and do more for their life in the future, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of this trend outshine the benefits since this unexpectedly drives us to a big problem of population growth. As far as I am concerned, it is imperative for people to live as they used to be.
Stacy Handayani   
Jun 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should Formal Education be Given for Children in The Age of Four or Seven Year Old? [3]

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight.

How far do you agree with either of these views?
Give your reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, sending children to formal education in their very young age becomes more popular then before since it is advisable. Brain development is arguably become maximal at the young age. However, others argue that it is not true to force their children to enter school before they reach the age of seven or eight since giving education to children under this age will shock them. Nevertheless, I agree that providing formal education for children should be done in their very young age so as to maximalize their brain development.

The general views has been said that it is unacceptable to exploit young children with formal education since they need to play and be free in this stage. Parents tend to believe that in this age, children need to acquire knowledge but not a formal education. They believe that creativity is the ones that need to be develop. Broadly speaking, what children need in their young age is playful education that can lead them to think creative and innovative. However, it is not provided in formal school. Besides, this trend may shock them. Therefore, children should not enter formal education in their very young age.

Having said that, others believe that formal education should be given to children in their early age since it can develop their brains. I tend to beleve in this statement as a research find that children's brains develop maximal at the age under six year old. In addition, young children are great in memorizing. So, by giving them a formal education, it can help them to learn and understand faster. Furthermore, by doing so, children will be ready to face some stages in education in their future life. The faster the preparation, the more ready they will experience it.

As far as I am concerned, even though children may shock at the first time, they will soon find an enjoyment in acquiring formal education in school. In addition, they will gain more advantages from this trend that will be useful for their future. Therefore, it is imperative for parents to encourage their children to obtain formal education in their very young age so as to benefit them in the future.
Stacy Handayani   
May 30, 2015
Graduate / The Number of 3 Different Kind of Crimes in Newport City Centre from 2003 to 2012 [2]

The line graph gives information concerning the number of incidents relating three different kinds of crime in Newport city centre from 2003 to 2012. Overall, it can be seen that burglary crime reduced over the period in question. In addition, the number of car theft and robbery cases in Newport city centre remained unchange, compared to the first time figures.

With regard to the number of incidents in Newport city centre from 2003 to 2007, the data reveals that the figures of three kinds of crime cases recorded a significant decline. In 2003, burglary crime occured in the highest number at around 3,500 incidents, while in the second place almost 3,000 car theft cases happened in Newport city centre. In addition, there were approximately 600 report of robbery cases. However, these three cases were likely to reduced over four years with the most marked drop was experienced by burglary cases, it decreased by around 2000.

A closer look at the data reveals that over the last five years, while burglary crime was consistent to decrease, car theft and robbery cases rebounded gradually to their first figures. In 2008, it recorded a hit of burglary crime to a low number at approximately 1,200 cases, but after that, the number fluctuated and finished at around 1,400. In addition, both other cases recorded an incline - compare to 2007 cases - at around 600 for robbery crime and at around 2,750 for car theft cases.

Stacy Handayani   
May 30, 2015
Graduate / Applying for International Business, Entrepreneurship and SME Management program (Maastricht) [4]

Hi Urgent123, I have some corrections for your 1st paragraph. Hope it helps you :)

I am from the capital city of Slovakia, Bratislava. My father has German heritage and (...)

I come from Bratislava, the capital city of Slovakia. My father was influenced much by Germany culture and he started introducing it to me since I was young. I tend to argue that mastering bilingual skill at the very young age leads me to an interest in languages . In school, I start to speak in Spanish and English and I particularly interest in improving my English due its importance (and obvious necessity) in globalisation era. Besides, I have a big intention to take a career in business since my father is an entrepreneur, so I believe that English may be usefull in my future career.
Stacy Handayani   
May 29, 2015
Writing Feedback / Staying or Moving? A viable solution to escape from boredoms and low productivity. [2]

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work different organisations.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

New experience requires new atmosphere. As such, some people argue that it is better to move to a new company so as to gain more experiences. Besides, this trend is noticeable as a viable solution to escape from boredoms and then to start working more productive. However, others believe that work for the same organisation is more enjoyable as they find that it already feels comfortable working for the company. However I would argue that both are great solution, it depends on individuals.

It is arguably that moving to new organisation is the perfect solution when you stuck in the middle of boredoms of your boss, your duties, or your workplace's atmosphere. Take my friend working in one architecture consultant as an example, at the first time, it was enjoyable to work for a quite huge company and earn much money. It was surprising to gain a lot of money as he just graduated from university and gaining money from his own effort was so remarkable. However, one year passed, he felt that his skills in architecture worth more than he had been paid. As a result, he moved to other company who appreciated him more. Therefore, it is acceptable to move since you find something uncomfortable on your old organisation.

As a matter of fact, some people prefer to stay working in the same organisation for some reasons, firstly, they already find their coumfort zone in their old workplace. Honest and friendly boss, worth salary, and enjoyable atmosphere maybe the main aspects that force them to stay. The second is convenience, trust is something hard to gain in new company. The old employees find it is easier to work as they can communicate well with their boss who trust them. In addition, friends and partners are also the main factors to work at the same place in the whole working life. As people have a lot of friends, they can get out from their boredoms and hang out with them, cheer up together and it then will reduce or even delete their boredoms. Therefore, if people already find their comfort zone in old organisation, staying is the best choice.

In conclusion, I would argue that both choices are acceptable for people, as long as they find the right reasons and finally think that staying or moving is the best solution that they can do. However, it is imperative for people to cogitate their decision first before they end up with doing it so as to prevent regret in the future.
Stacy Handayani   
May 29, 2015
Writing Feedback / The Benefits of Information Technology for Working Outshine Its Disadvantages [3]

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.).
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Frankly, information technology brings convenience to human, especially in their working life. It is argueably that information technology make people feel more convenient to do their job everywhere outside their workplace like at home and when travelling since the internet connects people and provides a limitless communication. Above all, the features are the most valueable aspect of information technology. Sadly, poor quality of video and lack of face to face meeting may become the negative point of it, although I think that these still cannot outshine the benefits.

As a matter of fact, the most noticeable benefit of information technology is convenience. Firstly, people can attend an important meeting even though they are trapped in the middle of traffic congestion. As long as they have good internet connection, they can use video call to attend the meeting. In addition, when people are out of duty as they suffer illness, they do not have to come to office for reporting some important documents they have done. In this case, email can be used to send the documents. Furthermore, features of information technology like Skype, Google Drive, E-Banking, etc., provide many useful ways to do their job outside workplace. Broadly speaking, information technology benefits businessmen in many ways.

Having said that, if there is advantage, there will always disadvantage. The general view has been said that since the internet connection is not all the time at a good condition, it influences the quality of video in online meeting. Sometimes, technology barriers produce poor quality of video, it may not appear as smooth as it used to be. Afterwards, people who are liable to do online meeting may lack of face-to-face meeting. People have tendency to do shared work with the one they knew. However, when people attend meeting using online way, how can their partner recognise and know them for further since the screen only provides close up posture. By and large, sometimes information technology is bad for working.

As far as I am concerned, it is clear that even though information technology have several drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are far more substantial than the disadvantages. Therefore, it is imperative that people can take those benefits so as to keep in touch with their work although they cannot come to office.
Stacy Handayani   
May 29, 2015
Writing Feedback / The high cost on keeping pets. It's a controveversial issue since some people are poor and starving. [5]

Hi Alex, I have some corrections and suggestions on your writing. Hope this helps you :)

Some people argue that pets, especially dogs and cats, are the important friend s of mankind . For instance, dogs are believed the loyalist animals which would stay with their owner even though they die . That is, pets are our spirit closed friends for many people. Other people who have similar opinion believe that whether pay too much attention or cost too much money is their own business, they do not need to be responsible for men starving in Africa.

1. are the 'most' important friends for human [or ommit article 'the']
2. For instance, dogs are believed to be the most loyal animals which would stay with their owner for the rest of their life.
3. It is pets, the ones that many people consider as the closest friend ever.
4. people with the same opinion are liable to pay much attention and spend much money on pets than on people starving in Africa since pets bring companionship in human life.

Stacy Handayani   
May 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / A Noticeable Changing in Stokeford Town Between 1930 and 2010 [2]

The maps give information concerning the changes in Stokeford between 1930 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that a great number of houses has been built on the area which previously had a function as farmland over an 80-year period. In addition, in 2010, some extention roads were constructed to accomodate people in Stokeford.

With regard to the North side of Stokeford village between 1930 and 2010, in the first map, there was a lot of farmlands in North-East of the map and in East side of the road there was a primary school. Furthermore, opposite the primary school, post office and shops are located. However, this area changed much in 2010, the area of farmland were replaced by residential area and an extended road, while primary school was enlarged. In addition, the shops had been knocked down and then the area was constructed to be places for houses and road.

Turning to the Southern of Stokeford, a great changing had been recorded at this side. At the first time, the area in right side of the river were a huge farmland, then it was destroyed and was turned into residential area. On the other side of the road, East side of Stokeford, a large house was enlarged and the big tree in front of it had been cut off in 2010. In addition, the garden of a large house was srinked and replaced by road and houses.

Stacy Handayani   
May 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / Information about changes in the developement of the Stokeford village during 80 years (1930-2010) [2]

Hello Mr. Iqbal, here I give some corrections on your writing.

Meanwhile, in a particular location some building experienced a renovation and some road have also been added.

According to the maps , clearly, we can see that the village of Stokeford saw a profound transform in 2010. Firstly , wide farm area in the village had been developed many houses. In addition, there were an extended highway connecting one house with other houses, and then an old large house in opposite in the east of the maps had been also altered [.] in 2010[,]area such as garden was srinked and the old home replaced large number of houses .

Moving to a more detailed analysis from the maps reveals that a noticeable change also happened in public facilities . In 1930[,] there was only one school building[,] but it had been expanded in 2010. However, two buildings for shopping were demolished in 2010.
Stacy Handayani   
May 27, 2015
Writing Feedback / The globalisation may drive people away from their cultural identity like respecting older people [4]

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon know as globalisation. Some people fear that globalisation will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Communication and transport play a vital role in human's life. As the advancement of mass communication and transport grow significantly, some people believe that this lead societies to follow globalisation that will drive people away from their cultural identity like respecting older people. However, I would argue that this globalisation will get us lost our cultural identity as it changes the way people to communicate with other people.

Communication's growing change the way people to communicate with each other. Take mobile phone as an example, base on my experience in the past, teenager were likely to ask their parents first if they wanted to go to somewhere. However, nowadays, when teenagers have their own mobile phone, they are more likely to go without permission. If they have intention to go to a place, they eventually travel and ask their parents later using a mobile phone. So, whether parents tend to permit or not, they are forced to give permission as their teenage-childrens already on the way. Therefore, teenagers habbit to respect their parents already gone.

On the other hand, the sophiscated transportation like a car also drive people to neglect their societies. As I and my sister grew up, my parents decided to buy a car since it was needed to drive us to school in every condition. However, this trend led us to neglect our friends since we went to school and went back home by car. At the first time, it was enjoyable to go back home with friends and cheer up together, but since there was a car, we preferred to use car as it was connvenience. As a consequence, our social life was abandoned. Therefore, the advancement of transport led us to have poor quality of social communication.

In conclusion, although some improvements on mass communication and transport bring convenience to human life, I would argue that people should not forget their cultural identity. Therefore, it is imperative for people to preserve their ancient habit so as to have a good social life and attitude.
Stacy Handayani   
May 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / Southland's Main Exports Between 2000 and 2015 and Its Prediction in 2025 [3]

The bar chart gives information concerning the major exports in Southland between 2000 and 2025 and is measured in billion pounds. Overall, it can be seen that international will predict to have the highest exports in 2025, while meat products exports will be reduced. In addition, meat product have the lowest exports over the period in question.

With regard to to the amount of Southland's main exports in 2000 and 2015, in 2000, while international tourism witnessed the biggest exports at above 8 billion, dairy and meat products' exports experienced only under 7 billion. However, dairy product exports more than 9 billion in 2015 and is followed by international tourism export and meat products exports at just under 8.5 billion.

A closer look at the data reveals that in the future, international tourism in Southland will be highly export. In 2025, exports of meat products will be decreased to 5 billion and dairy products will export more than 9 billion. Furthermore, international tourism export increased over the time frame and then it will reach 10 billion in 2025.

Stacy Handayani   
May 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / People Get Into Dept Since They Afford Things They Do Not Need [3]

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford.
What are the reasons for this behaviour?
What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Satisfaction sometimes relate to simple action like buying things we like. Due to this condition, some people are more likely to take a loan to buy those things even they do not need them as they found happiness to have them. However, I would argue that satisfaction is not the only reason for this trend since some people sometimes people are also like to show off to other people. In addition, I believe that people should double think before they buy goods and make a list of their demand.

Sometimes, people get into debt as they found another source of money to buy things that they like or something they want to show off. Take the government of Indonesia as an example, as a new arrangement of the leadership, the government of Indonesia have a plan to afford a new luxurious transportation for the president and the ministries. People believe that this kind of action is unnecessary to be done since it is not the government's demand but only for showing off. However, while thinking this action is necessary, the government forget that how are they going to afford it as Indonesia already get into a debt. As a consequence, this trend should not happen as it can make the amount of debt higher than before that can lead our country to poverty.

Due to this condition, I believe that the government should double check about what they really need. Take Akhmad Dinejad as an example, he is the humblest president in the world. While Iran society live in a wealthy life, the president still live in humble, using a hideous car and live in an ordinary house. This trend result in the number of poor society in Iran reduce as their president do not waste the money in something he and his team do not need.

In conclusion, even though people can take a loan to buy expensive things they really like, they should double think before they buy it. Therefore, it is imperative for people to make a list of something that they really need to buy so as to not get into debt.
Stacy Handayani   
May 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / The optimum location for wind turbine is in high land as the wind strengths are maximum [2]

The diagrams give information with regard to the design of wind turbine and its optimum locations. Overall, it can be seen that there are 4 components and 1 building needed to design a wind turbine, and also it is evident that location influence the strength of the wind and the amount of electricity produced.

To build a wind turbine, it needs an area, the wind turbine, and a buliding to control the wind turbine. Wind turbine contains of 4 components, the first element is steel tower which is planted to the ground and has a function to hold 3 other components, blades, wind sensor, and generator. The Blades are made from fibreglass or wood which will spin when the wind blows. Behind the blades, there is a wind sensor which its function is to measure the speed and the direction of wind blow. The data of wind's direction and angle also can be seen from the computer located in the building near by the wind turbine. Afterwards, generator collects energy from wind strength and produces 1.5 megawatts electricity.

However, the optimum location for wind turbine is in high land as the wind strengths are maximum. The wind turbine also can be constructed in the sea, eventhough the wind strength are not optimal than in highland, the landscape will not be spoilt by the turbine. Afterwards, the turbine also be located in domestic area, but it only produce 100 kilowatts electricity.

Stacy Handayani   
May 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Tourist's arrival in Nepal in March 2008 [2]

Hi Mr. Alif, I have some suggestions for your writing. Good luck !

The pie chart illustrates the percentage of tourists coming from other countries to Nepal in March 2008, while the table gives information regarding an increase in its numbers fromin March 2007. Overall, it can be seen that Europeans and Asians were the most popular tourists visiting Nepal over a year.the biggest number of visitors who travel to Nepal come from Europe and Asia.

First of all, there was a considerable number of tourist's arrival in Nepal consisting of Asia and EuropeAsian and European tourists at 38 % and 37% respectively in 2008. In contrast, the people from Australia only saw at four per cent, the smallest percentage of tourists over a year. Then, for North and South America and other regions, they remained in rate less than a quarter of tourists traveling to Nepal.

Visitor's arrival from other countries increased significantly in 2007, reachingit reached a peak at 16 per cent from the similar month, with the total number of 5,910. However, compared to all continents, Asia was the lowest quantity in the number of visitors representing to 188. Totally, Asian and European coming to Nepal was far bigger at 3,509 among thethan others.

Thus, all people in the world have a great willingnessenthusiasm/ intention to come to Nepal between 2007 and 2008. Although international people climbed rapidly in terms of coming to Nepalthe number of international people who visit Nepal grew rapidly , European remained the biggest of total.

Stacy Handayani   
May 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Which Communication Skills are Essential in Your Job? [2]

The table gives information related to the results of communication skills survey between in 1997 and 2006 and it is measured in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that in external communication, dealing with people is the most essential skill of communication in their jobs, while linstening carefully to collegues can be usefull in line of internal communication.

With regard to the survey in external communication in 1997 and 2006, in the first survey, it is evident that about 60% of people said that dealing with people is the most necessary skill that people should have in external communication, while in the second survey this percentage increased by 5%. However, both in the first and second survey, some people (about 71% - 80% people) thought that knowledge of particular products and caring for customer was also essential in external communication, while selling skill less important in external communication in job since only under a quarter people said it was.

Turning to the result in 1997 and 2006 survey about communication skills, about 38% to 47% people believe that listening to collegues can be very usefull for people to communicate with people in a company, whilst they also should follow training or work together with people in their job. Afterwards, only a few people, just under 25% people believe that persuading others, planning the activities of others, and making presentation can have a significant influence in internal communication.

Stacy Handayani   
May 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / Water Consumption in Agricultural, Domestic, and Industrial Sector [3]

The line graph shows information regarding the amount of global water use in km3 measurement from from 1900 to 2000, whilst the table gives information about water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. Overall, it can be seen that there were a slight increase of worldwide water use in agricultural, industrial, and domestic sector. Then, the consumption of water in Brazil is higher than in Congo.

With regard to the volume of global water consumption in 3 different sectors from 1900 to 2000, in 1900, the volume of water use in both industrial and domestic sectors stood at under 500 km3, while in agricultural sector started at a higher level at approximately 500 km3. However, the amount of water in these three sectors rose significantly over 50 years, by around 50 km3 in industrial and domestic use and by 500 km3 in agricultural use. At the last 5 decades, it saw a dramatic increase in the volume of water for agricultural purpose to finish at 3,000 km3 and there was a slight rise in the level of water use for industrial and domestic sector at approximately 1,200 km3 and around 400 km3 respectively at the end of period.

Turning to the water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000, Brazil with 176 million population used 359 m3 per person to irrigate 26,500 km2 agricultural area, whilst with 5.2 million population, Congo needed 8 m3 water per person for irrigating system of 100 km2 farmland.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is It Worth for Sport Players to Earn Great Deal More Money than People in Other Profession? [3]

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In these days and age, sports is becoming more popular than before. As such, some people believe that sport professionals are worth to earn a greater income than other professions as they are qualified and supported by many advertisement. However, others argue that this great deal of money is not suitable for sport players as many other jobs that involve hard work and skill should be paid with higher amount of money. Nevertheless, I would argue that it is justified for sport players to earn much more money since they also work hard, do some exercises, and sometimes risk their health while they are on duty.

With regard to to opposite side of this issue ...
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / The Number of Passenger and Reached Dictance of Underground Railway Systems in Six Cities [2]

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows information about the underground railway system in six cities. Overall, it can be seen that Paris and Tokyo have the highest number of passengers among other cities and London underground railway has reach the longest distance among other cities.

With regard to the distance that underground railway of 6 cities could reach, London underground railway which was built in 1863 reached the longest distance at 394 kilometres of route.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is Talent Born Naturally or Nurtured? [3]

It is generally believe that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Singers are growing up with their natural talent. As such, some people believe that certain talents like sport or music are inheritable as these talents are given by parents through their genes. However, others argue that children can be trained to have special talent as they are always doing exercises. Nevertheless, I would argue that humans are born with special talent, but they need exercise to sharp these talent.

Some people are given a good voice. For this reason, people believe that they are born to be a singer. Take Taylor Swift, a singer from America as an example, she has very beautiful voice and very talented in writing songs. As a result, it is very easy for her to reach success as all songs that she sings seem so impressive to be listened. Therefore, talent like a good voice is born naturally with human.

On the other hand, some people believe that these beautiful voices are not the only talent that make singer gaining success, but talents such as capable of writing a good song and playing musical instrument are factors that help her to stand in the hall of fame. Therefore, I would argue that children can be taught to become a good musician. For instance, Taylor Swift, it is impossible that she was born with ability to write a song or to play musical intrument. These kinds of ability is taught and growth by her parents so she can play guitar and piano, and also capable of writing some good songs. As a result, the combination between natural talent and nurtured talent lead her to be one of the most popular singer around the world. Therefore, children can be trained to develop their talent to be greater than before.

To conclude, it is true that some people are born with certain talent like sport or music that can be seen by many people. However, some others also born with talent, but it is yet develop. Therefore, I personally believe that they can be taught to become singers or sport players as they exercise regularly. Afterwards, it is imperative for parents to help their children to develop their talent by supporting and facilitating the children's needs for this purpose.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is It Better to Change Job Than to Do The Same Job? [4]

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Changing job is a common trend in today's life as some people argue that it is a better way for people to get a new experiences and to get a better income. However, others claim that doing the same job during their lifetime is more comfortable than adapting to new atmosphere. Nevertheless, I would argue that changing job is the best choice for people so as to run out from boredoms.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 20, 2015
Graduate / The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette: [3]

... the number of people in the balmer islandrise to 100,000 .
... also increase during this peiod .

... the number of accidents also increase during this period.

... possible parameters that led to the reducton in accidents in seaville before concluding that what applies there will apply in balmer island .

... accidents in seaville before concluding thatwhat viable solution that can be applied in balmer island to reduce the number of accident .

In conclusion, all the above questions require answers before making ...
... irritate the foreigners who are coming in during the summer and hinder them from coming next time, it could ...

... irritate the foreigners who come in during the summer and hinder them from their visiting next time, it could ...
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / The Method of Recycling Plastic Bottles for New Uses [3]

The diagram shows the method of recycling plastic bottles for new uses. Overall, it can be seen that there are two main processes of recycling plastic bottles and there are 8 steps of recycling plastic bottles process.

To begin, there are two main processes in recycling plastic bottles, the first process takes a place in recycling center. Firstly, the collected plastic bottles are separated from other types of containers, such as from glass and metal. The second step is to sort the bottles by their color. Next, the plastic bottles are pressed into bales, which one bale contains around 7,000 bottles. After that it is brought by container to reclaimer place.

Turning to reclaimer process, the bales are broken apart by a bale breaker that causes the plastic shredded into flakes. Following this, the flakes are washed and then rinsed. After that, they are dried before melting process, and then they are put through extruder. This extruder process produces pellets which to be sold to manufacturers to be used to make fibers for carpets and clothing, nonfood containers, and other products.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Some people think that children should learn to obey and do as parents and teachers say. IELTS [3]

Hi mMaftuna, I have some suggestions for your writing. Hope it can help you.

First of all, parents and teachers are the best advisers for children. Teachers and parents know what is right and wrong, so they show children directions and give support. As a result children know what is good and what is bad. As a proof there is an example from our real lives: from an early childhood each parent teach his or her child not to play on the road so they can be hit by cardo not get accident like hit by car , by this way parents admonish their kids, so every time children will know that playing on the road may harm them and lead to dire consequences. By following the advices ofgiven by parents and teachers children can build an idea of real life.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Modern Life Brings Enjoyment for Children but Lead Them to Lack of Responsibility to Natural World [2]

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

How important is it for children to learn to understand and appreciate nature? Give reasons for your answe and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In these day and age, modern live has brought sedentary lifestyle for people, especially children. Because of this reason, some people argue that children tend to choose staying at home as they can spend all day to watch television and to play video games. Therefore, this trend lead children to lack of knowledge about natural world since they stop paying attention to it. However, I would argue that children should be enforced to appreciate the nature so as to develop their sense of responsibility to their environment.

Nowadays, technology like television drives children to have sedentary lifestyle and do not care about their environment. For example, the children who spend much time watching television and playing games feel happy and addict to it. As a result, they start to forget about their natural environment and do not care about what happen in their nature environment. It also may lead them to do simple bad things like pay no attention on their clean, stop bathing, forget to throw the rubbish on its places and so on. Finally, this sedentary lifestyle drives them to be a stiff.

In addition, this trend lead children to lack of responsibility to their natural environment. Taking children who addicted to sedentary activities as an example, they have no intention to clean and save their natural environment as they are never participate in save nature's activities like gardening. As a result, they do not know how each individual have responsibility to take care of their natural environment. Therefore, staying inside home makes children ignore their duty on saving nature life.

To conclude, I would argue that even modern life bring enjoyment to childrens' life, it drive them to have less responsibility to their environment. Therefore, it is imperative for parents to encourage their children to control both playing time and gardening activities so as to build their sense of responsibility to the nature.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Changes on The Percentage of Rural and Urban Household Who Has Internet Access [2]

The bar chart shows the percentage of city and village household in European country who has internet access between 1999 and 2004. Overall, it can be seen that the propoortion of household internet acces in both areas increased significantly over 5 years.

With regard to the proportion of household internet access in the first 3 years, in 1999 both rural and urban or suburban had just under one in ten. However, in the following year it saw a dramatic rise in the proportion of household internet access in urban area at 30%, while it was only approximately 5% in rural area. Next, in 2001, those proportion increased slightly by 10% for city household and by 5% for village household.

Turning to the percentage of household internet access from 2001 to 2004, while the proportion in rural area rose markedly by 15% from 2001 to 2002, the percentage of household internet acces in urban household increased by approximately 12%. After one year, the proportion of household internet access in both urban or suburban and rural household rose gradually and ended at around 55% and 35%, respectively.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors [2]

Hello Mr. Jawa.. Your writing is excellent, but I have some correction. Hope it helps you :)

Nowadays, the modern life has created a number of children towho stay more indoors due to totally meeting their needs for the bright future.

Spending much time to study some subjects makes children to stay more indoorsspending more much time indoors because they have to focus on their learning which needs a quiet room to get an effective class. Taking students who are studying foreign languages at course, students have to study in the small room in order to gain well-understood from their teachers. As a result, some children have less time to obtain much information from the spectacular environment. There is no doubt that spending a lot of time indoors makes some children achieving their lessons quickly, yet this makes children have little exposure to the natural world.

On the other hand, being essential for children is to conduct researches from the nature because of several reasons. First of all, children are going to understand local cultures which are important for indigenous people to create good neighborhood in the future. For instance, some children in countryside respect their local cultures and have a good attitude with their neighbor. [ should we add an example in multiple idea paragraph ?] In addition, the natural world creates children to become great leaders for next generations. This is because childrensince they are able to learn how to keep healthy environment and local cultures for sustainable growth. For example, children who interact more with the natural environment tend to care about it when they become adults . Not only this, the nature provides lots of information which is good for children to develop their knowledge, so as that they have brilliant thought to achieve a high standard of living.

To conclude, although spending a lot of time indoors can fulfill children's needs for studying some subjects in order to gain well abilities to face international complicated competitions, learning the natural world is more essential for children because the natural environment provides and teaches children to become more attention on their lives. [it is better for you to add your personal tought here ]

Good Luck !
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should Everybody Allowed Admission to University Without Seeing Their Level of Academic Ability ? [3]

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As the education level has increased, some people argue that university has to give standard for everybody who have intention to enter college so as to keep the quality of university. On the other hand, some people believe that university should allow everybody entering university study program without seeing their level of academic since they can develop their abilities during their college period. However, I would argue that university has to held some selections process to improve their qualities.

The number of students who have intention to study in colleges have increased. For this reason, some people believe that university should not give restriction for them to enter college as they academic level can be increased and developed in campus life. For example, a stupid student can be a dilligent and a bright one as they surround by inteligent and clever people. As a result, they may get support from people arround them to be better than before. Therefore, it is better to give everybody a chance to experience college life.

On the other hand, a selection process to accept students should be held in order to keep the quality of university. Take one example, when students are graduated from senior high school, they have big intention to have a seat at university study program to get certificate. Before they enter at university, they have to pass some selection processes. As a result, they have to prepare for it along time before they enter the university. For this reason, the university can have the best student with excellent abilities. Therefore, this action can help the university to keep their education quality.

To conclude, allowing everybody to enter university without seeing their level of academic ability is good as the student can develop their academic ability while studying in university. However, Creating some enrollments for students to study at university is the best way to motivate the students and to keep the university quality. Therefore, it is imperative for universities to held selection processes for new students.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / There are some people in this world who earn a billion dollar per year [2]

Hi Mr. Imho.. your writing is good but I would like to give some correction. hope it helps you :)

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal moremore much money than people inwith other important professions. Some people think that this is fully justified [why?] while others think that it is unfair [why?].

Sports professionals such as football player can earn a billion dollar per year. For this reason , Some people think that it is too much for their profession. They also think that their job is easier than other jobsas this job is easier than any other profession . However, I personally believe that it is suitable for their qualities [why? ].

I would argue that many professional players earn greater amount of money than other workers such as professional designer. Take Cristiano Ronaldo as an example, he earns over a billion dollar per year as football player in Spain. It is very unfair where some professional workers such as scientist or designer just earn under a million dollar per year. [conclusion ]

In addition, the risk of sport's players is less than some kinds of job such as fire fighter. Result [from where? ] shows that many of fire fighters died when they did their jobsare on duty , while it is rare case thatwhen athlete died in the competition. Therefore, It is unfair whenthat fire fighter just earn less money than sports professionals.

On the other hand, to become top sports person, football player should train intensely and finish their football academies. This is because the number of competition inof football is becoming more and more increase over the world especially in England. Statistic shows that only 2% of students in sport academies can perform in international competition like England league. As a result, many of player like Indonesia football athlete cannot be a top player even playing in Europe league. It is thus clear that to be a professional player isneeds a big effort , while only fewer people can exist injoin international league.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / Learning Foreign Language. Better Soon or Later? [4]

All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades.

to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Learning foreign language is a common trend in this globalized world. As such, some people argue that children should be taught about different languages at early age as to develop their brain and to create a habit of using foreign language. However, some people argue that this may cause the children's shock in learning other languages. Nevertheless, I would argue that this learning language activity should be given for children in their schools at earliest grades to help them to be accustomed to speak and to understand international language.

School are the best place for children to study as at home they just spend their time for playing. Because of this, foreign language like English should be given by school so as to develop children's brain. The children children have more brain power so they can learn subject quickly by immitating. This kind of learning can stimulate children's brain and then make it more develop than before as the brain are stimulated over and over again. In addition, learning foreign language at early age can help children to master their languages as they already study it since they were young and they made it as a habit. For this reason, learning foreign language in earliest grades is necessary.

On the other hand, some people believe that this trend causes shock to children since they found difference between their mother tounge. Take English for example, children may confuse to say word 'sun' as the pronounciation is different from it's spelling. As a result, it can cause the rejection and fear of making a mistake in learning english. Therefore, international language subject should be given only when the children are ready.

However, I would argue that student should study foreign language in the earliest grades of school so they can accustomed to other language and feel easy to follow the lesson. Afterwards, when student have big interest in studying foreign language, as soon as possible they will realize that learning international language benefit them since they live in globalized world.

To conclude, I would argue that studying international language is better for children in the early age as it can help them to master and to understand this language. Therefore it is imperative fo school to provide foreign language lessons in the earliest grades.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 16, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is foreign language important for children? When to start teaching them? [2]

Hello Mr. Irham, I have some correction. Hope it will help you :)

... an obligation for whole students in elementary school [why? ]. Although there are many pros and contrascons [what pros and cons? ]. in this case, I strongly believe ...

... do not concentrate on learning a new tongue as studystudying foreign language in the primary ....

However, there are many reasons why student should study foreign tongue is important for children. First of all, student can fast memorizing fastly because researchers hashad explained that child can memorize new words faster and quicker such asthan most of adults as they admit that they little bit havehave a little bita problem in memorizing, it does not like when they were child. In addition, this learning language needs a lot of time as new tongue need more time for adaptation. Take an example, Indonesian student who want study in Germany, they should take one year for German class before entering university. [it is better for you to give result and conclusion here ]

To sum up, lesson oflearning new language is important for all children especially starting at elementary school. Although it can disturb basic language of students, it could be helpful for student learning it more quickly and fastfaster adaptation. It is imperative that the second language is substantial for every student.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 16, 2015
Writing Feedback / The Proportion of Degrees Granted Over Two Decades [7]

The pie charts show changes in the percentage of degrees granted in three different subjects at National Univesity from 1990 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the proportion of computer science granted had increased significantly over 20 years, while others proportion had fluctuation pattern.

With regard to the proportion in the first 10 years, computer science and business subject had the highest percentage of degree granted at 30% for each subject in 1990, while both medical subject and law had 25% and 15% respectively. However, in 2000, saw a slight increase in the percentage of computer science at 10%. There was also a slight increase in the percentage of medical dergree granted by 5%. Nevertheless, both law and business

degree granted decreased slowly from 10% and 20% respectively.

Turning to the changes from 2000 to 2010, whereas the proportion of computer science and law rosed by 5%, the percentage of medical and business degree granted fell slightly under a third at the end of period.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 15, 2015
Writing Feedback / Cost of Living Average in Riverdale and in Cape Alicia [4]

The table ilustrates the different between the percentage of cost-of-living averages in two different towns and compares to national cost of living average. Overal it can be seen that the cost-of-living in Riveldale is higher than in Cape Alicia.

Rigarding accomodation sectors, cost of housing in Riverdale has the highest percentage at 19%, while in Cape Alicia only at -12.5%. In utilities and transportation sector, while Riverdale has around one in twenty, cost in Cape Alicia city just under 1.5% compared to national average. While cost of health in Riverdale is 7%, it is only 0.8% in Cape Alicia.

Turning to groceries and clothing sectors, Riverdale has 4.7% above national average in the cost of groceries, while Cape Alicia only has point of five. Finaly, cost of clothing sector in Riverdale five times higher than in Cape Alicia that only has 1% above national average.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 15, 2015
Writing Feedback / Once people could breath in a fresh air, their life was greater than todays convenience life. [3]

Life now is better than it was 100 years ago. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Convenience are the common benefit that we found on today's life. As such, most people argue that living today is better than it was 10 decades ago as technology and transportation have bring ease to human life. On the other hand, others argue that todays life is worse than the past since those transportation produce much pollution and then bring unhealthy life to humans. For this reason, I disagree that live in today is better than in the past.

Nowadays, people develop technology and transportation as the greatest inventions that can bring the convenience to human's lives. Technology such as email and telephone enable people to do their activities easily, they do not have to go faraway to send a messages and to keep in touch with their family. Therefore, technology reduces the human's movement and it makes people pleasure living in this world today. In addition, there was no transportation like an airplane, common common transportation that can brought a thousand passenger flight. This kind of transportation help people traveling around easily.

On the other hand, living on the world now is worse than living in hundred years ago in environmental sector. Take pollution as an example, in the past, people still could feel fresh air as the transportation did not produce pollution like today's transportation. Unlike the past time, now pollution produced by transportation had filled the air and had caused lack of fresh air. This condition enforce people to breath in the polluted air that can cause problem to their health.

To conclude, although some people claim that life in world now is better than in the past, I believe that living in the past world where people stilll can breath in fresh air is greater than todays convenience life. Therefore, it is better for people to reduce the using of transportation so as to save the fresh air.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / How might the advantages of studying in another country outweigh the disadvantages? [3]

Doing further studies abroad has become increasingly common in recent decades. How might the advantages of studying in another country outweigh the disadvantages?

International studies are becoming the new trend of young people since they believe that there are some benefits of this such as better job opportunities, worth experience and more independent life. However, others believe that this trend has negative side for teenagers as it may drive them to culture shock and to difficulties in line of communication with local people. Nevertheles, I believe that even we can named the disadvantages of this trend, it still can outweigh the advantages.

Acquiring education from international university can bring more benefits for students than studying in their motherland. First of all, by studying abroad, teenager have international qualification and can communicate and also have experience in international world, so people will respect them and then will offer a better job for them. The second is young people can experience new cultures, get a new friends, learn a new language. Those experiences can be a precious story of their life time. Moreover, living alone in the middle of somewhere can develop teenager to be more independent and have sense of responsibility to their-self.

On the other hand, different cultures can lead teenager to culture shock. They may be not ready to accept the difference between their own culture and other cultures, so it can cause them getting homesick and feeling uncomfortable to live in other country. In addition, different language can drive them crazy to understand what people say in foreign country. They may lost because they do not know how to find direction and they may feel hunger as they cannot say what they want to buy for eating. However, I believe that after one month teenager can adapt well and find a comfort zone of living in other countries. Also as a matter of language problem, a preparation like learning foreign language can be a viable solution before young people going abroad.

To conclude, I believe that the advantages of this trend outshine the disadvantages. Therefore, it is better for parents and govenrment to support young people to study abroad so as to get a better future.
Stacy Handayani   
Apr 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / Ten-year summary on the amount of online sales for the New Zealand's retail sectors [3]

The pie chart show changes on the precentage of online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand over 10 years. Overall, it can be seen that while the percentage of film and music and also books increased gradually over a decade, the percentage of clothes' and travel's sales decreased significantly.

With regard to the incline proportion of this trend, in 2003 the percentage of online books sales stood at 19% while film's or music's sales in higher percentage at over one in ten. Over the following 10 years saw a dramatic rise in the proportion of film's and music's online sales to a third, while sales on books sector rose by 3% from 19% to 20%.

In contrast to this, over a decade there was a sharp fall to the proportion of clothes' and travel's sector. The proportion of the clothes' and travel's sales began at 24% and 36% respectively, higher than any other proportion sales. However, those proportion dropped markedly at just under a fifth for the percentage of clothes' online shopping sales and at 36% for the percentage of travel's sales.

Stacy Handayani   
Apr 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Staying in one location has benefits, but it will not outshine the merits of living in many areas [6]

Hello Mr. Iqbal ! your writing is excellent. However I want to add some correction.

Living in the same place in lifetime encourages people to have close relationship to their families and friends as every time they always interact and recognize by each others, although they also would feel bored easily.

... As a result, this condition stimulates people to care about their neighborhoods .(or you can change it into "neighbours") However, without experiencing any changes in condition and situation in a place to live, people tend to do the same job regularly. Consequently, lots of people cannot enjoy staying in their environment.

In contrast, for taking big salaries, people now are more mobile. They are very fond of moving from one location to others. Although this trend causes some people lost their work in old place and there is no guarantee for them to get a better career in their new area , people not having a fixed pattern of residences believe that they are really confident towill have much more money thatthan people in the past.

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