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Posts by broibra
Name: Ibrahim
Joined: Nov 5, 2015
Last Post: Dec 7, 2015
Threads: 17
Posts: 19  
Likes: 3
From: Indonesia
School: UNM

Displayed posts: 36
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broibra   
Dec 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / There is a lot of remedial steps that can be done to reduce crime rate - IELTS2 [2]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Criminal record has increased in the last few years. This affects many individuals in various levels, frequently producing fear and many victims. I believe this is caused by economic factors and unemployment which make this stuff happens. Therefore, make a lot of the job vacancies and improve the performance of police to control the crime rate down.

Criminal act is caused by two main significant factors. The dominant factor that results in many criminal acts is the economic situation. For example, Parents who are poor may not be able to give their children in school and lack of education can lead to juvenile crime. Another cause is the number of people who are lazy to work and lack of job vacancy. According to the BBC, 5.4 percent of people in the age 16 years old and over are unemployment. As a results for this reason, the crime rate increasing and unavoidable.

As far as I am concerned, there are potential strategies to fight the criminal activity. First, the provision of employment opportunities needs to be improved by new work fields. Also, the police force has to be an important part in society in terms of reducing the crime rate. There must be an increase in the number of police and skills development for police to control of offence and criminal acts.

The evidence shows that although crime is a serious problem, there was a lot of remedial steps that can be done to reduce it. It is important that if this above done and can be calculated, because it can decrease and reduce the root of crime.
broibra   
Dec 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK1 : PROPORTION OF ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES IN FAIRMONT ISLAND, ACCORDING TO VISITORS [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

A proportion of the most general benefits and drawbacks by survey of visitors in Fairmont Island is represented in the two pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that high cost of living tremendously disadvantages for visitors rather than other problems, whereas the main benefit for visitors is the local community.

It is my suggestion.
The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Island, according to tourist opinions. Overall, it can be seen that while holidaymakers like the occupants, high cost of living is the main reason that may deter tourists from visiting this place.

hich it brings benefits for travellerstravelers and it almost has similar numberS with good accommodation by 1%.
broibra   
Dec 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / Air circulation. It leaks out through the cracks of some rooms such as bathrooms and other. [2]

The diagram illustrates the system of air come in and out of a house. As seen, this disperses mild temperature due to the circulation. According to the diagram, some ventilators allow fresh air to come into spaces, while heat in the rooms is pulled towards the exhaust fans.

There are three floors in the house. First, in the second floors of the house, there are many spaces like windows and doors as places for the air comes into the home. It can be seen in the basement of the air passing through the dryer vent and crawl area. Following this, outside air goes into the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room's window also.

The air leaks out through the cracks of some rooms such as bathrooms and other rooms. The air around two recessed lights and it is followed to the attic hatch and then the air out through roof top.




broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Information regarding the results of the communication skills [2]

The table illustrates information regarding the results of the communication skills survey between in 1997 and 2006. Overall, it can be seen that part in external communication, dealing with people is the most essential skill in communication job, whereas listening carefully to colleagues can be useful in line of internal communication.

To begin, survey on external communication in 1997 describe about 60% of people said that dealing with people is the most necessary skill that people should have in external communication and in 2006 this percentage increased by 5%. Next, both of knowledge particular products and advising for customers experienced a slight increase approximately 6% and 3%. However, in the part selling a product witnessed a decrease round 24% to 21% between 1997 and 2006.

Turning to the result in 1997 and 2006 survey about communication internal, about 38% to 47% people believe that listening to colleagues can be very useful. Following this, in factors making presentations, instructing people, persuading others and analyzing problems together equally experienced growth around 4%-6%. While, planning the activities solely had increased around 1% which it is the smallest from every factor in internal communication.




broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: People sometimes argued that using of electronic devices is harmful on personal live [NEW]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Since the contrivance of modern technology, the behavior of many people to be different against their peers. People sometimes argued that using of electronic devices is harmful for their mutual lives. In my opinion, I believe this invention had drawbacks and benefit.

People who argue that the modern media such as computer and cell phones has a negative effect, they are claim sometime some people become selfish beings. In the past, people respect the intimacy of relationship by time spending together with their friends or family. However, today's modern media will rob people time for gathering with their friends or family. As a result, modern people may feel lonely and miserable because no strong relationship has ever built.

Although there were many changes due to production electronic tools likely had a drawback, I think that it has positive qualities that people has to consider. First, electronic media creates a possibility of long distance relationship. In the past, it is very difficult to stay connected with friends and families in different country or the abode of the far, but today using video call such as Skype is very easy and realistic to meet friends or family in screens every day. Moreover, people can also find some people with the same interest and make a new relationship. This type of relationship which involving the same hobbies will make relationship priceless, last longer and comfortable.

The argument reveals that even though the electronic media may cause undesirable consequence, I believe that it has a great deal plus points in most aspects in today's form of relationship.
broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / The education sector and health services are vital aspects which should be funded by the government. [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

... welfare for all of the citizens , some people argue that others sectors cannot be neglected by the governments.
... for those who live in a remote area, it is worthwhile for them to be linked with the other people bywith good transportation.
... should be increased with lowered prices ,

To sum up, I agree that government should pay more attention withto education and health services to achieve welfare social welfare while other sectors aswere also important as to be noticedto consideration .
broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / The scientists continually make an endeavour to achieve a life in outer space. [3]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

the development of technology has spread ininto all aspects.

Asan example, a new discovery of space ...
... an immense ambitions of special purpose.

in my point of view the travelling ofin outer space ishas been predicted to become the extraordinary ...
broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK! : Two kinds of weather condition near Pacific Ocean. [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

... rain water to West Pacific which is causedcausing the strong trade winds is ...

the storm clouds with rain water toin the middle of both sides of the Pacific Ocean and cause the rain in the East Pacific.

... push back the warm water toin the West Pacific.

there is a rise ofin the amount of fish in the ...
broibra   
Dec 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / Experiences are the best teacher - they help us to learn better for the future [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

Because you have experience about menus, you can choose a decision easlyeasily . The second is to learn from experience, not only does experience leaveleft an impression in our mind.

ExperincesThe experience are very important to improve your career.

i really believe that people learn the best way byof their experiences.
broibra   
Nov 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / El Nino affects climate in countries on both sides of the Pacific Ocean [2]

The diagrams illustrate a comparison of El Nino conditions and normal pacific ocean conditions which affects climate in countries on both sides of the pacific ocean. Overall, it can be seen that the changes are in the wind strength that brings the conditions known as El Nińo.

To begin, the normal conditions in the first place, it shows on the first diagram wind from the east is stronger than wind from the west. Consequently, storm clouds have moved to west change the weather conditions to rain. Following this, warm water moves in the same direction as the wind, while cold water rises from the deep on the eastern side, which results in the increased number of fish near Peru due to more nutritious environment.

Move to El Nińo conditions, the situation has changed dramatically to strong wind now blows from the west side. That makes storm clouds and warm water move in the same direction as the wind. Both of these factors affect weather that there is the risk of drought in Australia, while in Peru, in contrast, it gets rainy. Another fact to mention is that the number of fish is going down in the coastal waters of Peru.




broibra   
Nov 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

To begin, most students will render excellent resultsforof their work, if they have more aptitude about that. It is because they feel nevernever feel bored and always love their subject.

as most companies requires specific skill. From this, an interesting subject can create more value.

On the other hand, pupils who is lackare lacking skills of painting and drawing should be encouraged to continue to learn more,
broibra   
Nov 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is serving community with no financial benefits necessary for students in high schools? [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

it is completely true that community services isare important; however...

... would not have enthusiasm toward their work,the enthusiasm to their work so they could not work effectively.

... to paid jobs to spendingspend time with their families. That children arechild is involved in some kind of part time ...
broibra   
Nov 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Clothes that employees should wear in their office. [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

This essay will talk about clothes that employees should wear in their office. Some bosses want their staff to dress formally. On the other hand, other organizations say job performances are more important rather than what are employees wearing. I argue that both appearance and work skills are equally important for the organization's existence.

Appearance can influence the others and give an effective impact to the business. Firstly, appearance create a good impression among staff. For example, when someone comes to work using an inappropriate shirt, they may be regarded as a less ambitious work and do not show a positive impression at work. Secondly, wear clothing that is clean and tidy can also affect health, the company become cleaner and other employees who also look healthy and when employees wearing clothes an appropriate manner, it also indicates a good performance of the company to the public.

On the other hand, performanceS also determine the success of the company. For instance, Microsoft is one of the largest companies in the world' they have a rigorous process in recruiting employees to find the right person to work in that company. All in all, the company will run well if adequate quality workers, regardless of smart dress, support in every field of the company.

Personally, I think that the companies need workers having the ability to maintain the appearance and skills to manage jobs. If the quality of result is a priority, it should be supported by the employees an interesting appearance.
broibra   
Nov 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / The percentage of people in the US who are happy according to married status (Task 1 for IELTS) [2]

The bar chart shows the percentage of people in the US who are happy, according to married status, age groups and children's existence. Overall, the percentage of happiness in US are under 50%. However, married people seem happier rather than unmarried ones, regardless of having children or not.

To begin, people who get married at ages ranging from 18 to 29, 30 to 49 and 60 and over are happy, with 44-45 percent happiness ratings. While in the 50 to 64 age group PEOPLE are happy at the percentage around 40%, it is less than the other people who have married. In contrast, unmarried people are had 21 to 22 percent of happiness in all age groups, apart from them those people aged 65 and over, there is a different in the percentage of happiness with 34%.

In addition, having children has little percentage effect on happiness; the percentage of married people having children under 18 years old is 44% and there are couples with children over 18 years old show 41%. Lastly, people who do not have children experience 43%.




broibra   
Nov 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree: being active is healthier than staying at home [4]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

Nothing good has camehas come from being a "couch potato",that's why people should exercise more.

When you havinghave fun you don't even realize ...

There is no greater feeling than achieving a weight loseloss goal and being.
broibra   
Nov 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The governments have a responsibility in the sectors education and healthcare. [3]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A large number of people believe that the governments have a responsibility to allocate fully funding in the sector of education and health services for all inhabitants. This is because there are still people that are not able to meet their needs. I would agree that both fields should be free of charge, with regard to the welfare of life and proper standard of living.

The country should take over the medical treatment because it is a part of the social welfare which can increase the community's satisfaction. For example, the government can guarantee the health of the poor or low-income citizens, so poor people not have to think the cost of hospitals and drugs. Therefore, it is well for the government to channel funding for partial health.

In addition, free education should also be provided by the country for citizens. This will bring a brighter future for the people and improve their quality of life. For instance, people who are highly educated would be easier to get a job because of their title. It is evidence investing money in the education sector is a good thing also.

In conclusion, that the cost is free for both the medical and educational fields is an issue that is always in the debate, but the government must be responsible to provide relief funds to two of those fields. It is very important that the State should provide scholarships to anyone who cannot afford to pay school fees and guarantee each inhabitant on health services.
broibra   
Nov 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / The controversial issue of whether scandal are useful in drawing attention on problems - GRE [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

This topic raises the controversial issue of whether scandal areis useful in drawing attention onto problems that infect our society.

First of all, the number of problems that a society faces increasesincreased with its economic and technological progress.

This trend is particularparticularly rampant in developing countries like India.

other forms of communication to extensivelyextend debate on the ways and means to solve these problems.
broibra   
Nov 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The benefits of starting own business can outweigh the drawbacks [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

A large number of people prefer to work in a company rather than choosing to start their own business because the risks are greater if make own business. However, I believe that the benefits of starting own business can outweigh the drawbacks.

People acknowledge that run own business can pose a number of threats. Firstly, a business owner has the biggest responsibility such as they must do many tasks, from planning business, arranging budget, or even managing marketing. This may lead him feel stressful. In addition, because of great responsibility, he will push himself harder such as working long hours without vacations to fulfil the ultimate aim in boosting his business. And also he will get an uncertain income and receive no other benefits like not obtain pension fund.

Nevertheless, run own business also has various job satisfaction. People run own business based on their knowledge, their interest and their passion without forcing themselves to obey other people or other directions. This also offers them the freedom or flexibility in scheduling, performing work and making choices. Because they are the owner of the company, they are free to work and make decisions. No one but themselves has right to prevent them from those. Another benefit is the fact that people who make own business always earn more than their employees. In particular, when the business flourish and increase, they are even making money without working.

In conclusion, although make own company is quite risky, I still have a strong belief that the benefits resulted are much more enormous and worthy, such as Bill Gates started from the bottom, against risks and now Bill Gates have a large business.
broibra   
Nov 22, 2015
Writing Feedback / Investigating the impact of teachers' beliefs on their formative assessment practices [3]

Hi, happy to read your writing.
I try to give you suggestion and correction, hoping it will help you.

The results shows an agreement amongst teachers ...
In schools, the most directly visible forms ,

Quantitative and qualitative research hashave shown that this form of evaluation could be one of the most operatingoperational on student performance ever studied interventions.

... or even internal evaluation for institutions shows no interest in the teaching activity.
... obtained in class areis irrelevant to political orientation.

... attention on mastering tasks rather than competitioncompete with peers and develop emotional skills.

A majority havehas also abandoned the traditional ...
they isare a perception amongst teachers ...
broibra   
Nov 22, 2015
Writing Feedback / This is my essay on compassion. What are the qualities of a compassionate person? [2]

Hi, happy to read your writing.
I try to give you suggestion and correction, hoping it will help you.

I already experienceI have already experienced touching the lives of other people.

From the moment you are establishing rapport to your patient until their problem were already resolved .

Patients have different ways onof handling their condition,

I judge them toby the way they dress, talk and etc. Through experience, I learned how to put oneself intoin someone's shoes.

... I am now and have turned me tointo a better person.
broibra   
Nov 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Isla [2]

The two pie charts illustrate the most common drawbacks and benefits of Fairmont Island, according to tourist opinions. Overall, it can be seen that while holidaymakers like the occupants, high cost of living is the main reason that may deter tourists from visiting this place.

Firstly, the biggest drawback is living cost which stands at 45%, while the low quality of food is only one twentieth of the total. The weather condition and entertainment are two aspects tourists are not enjoyed, representing at around 20% and 30% respectively.

On the other hand, the other pie chart shows four points as reasons for why tourists are fond of visiting the island. 40% of the tourists cite the people on the island as an advantage, and the second major is the scenery, which is just 3% less, at 37%.

The proportion of visitors citing culture and great living places are almost the same. 12 % of visitors mention cultural reasons, and the smallest proportion of visitors cite great places to stay, at 11%.




broibra   
Nov 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The design a turbine machine for producing energy from wind [3]

The diagrams illustrate the design a turbine machine for producing energy from wind and where it can be placed. Overall, it can be seen that this is the way to generate energy power by using natural source like wind.

To begin, the wind turbine consists of two parts, namely blades and a tower. While the blades are manufactured from either fiberglass or wood and the tower is made from steel. In addition, these parts are connected to a generator which can generate 1.5 megawatts energy power. There are also wind sensor, is installed on the top of generator which can measure the speed and the direction of wind when the blades are turned around by blowing wind. A computer which is nearby the tower can adjust the blades both its direction and its angle based on information from wind sensor.

The wind turbine can be installed in two different places to get maximum result of electrical energy. The wind turbine can be placed on the top of the mountain where the wind blows with maximum strength. Otherwise, other turbine can be set up close by coastline. However, it cannot produce more electrical power because the turbine blades are only spin by slight wind. Finally, the domestic turbine only produce 100 kilowatts of electricity power.




broibra   
Nov 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is money the most important aspects of job? [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

Before answering to the question,

... such as travel and considering to entertainmententertain that it causeschooses to make you pleasured, active and incentedencountered both at work and at home.

... monetary future always trying to save money.

... as diseases and losing jobs .

All of these indicate that money havehas a prominent role in our life.

Money makes us interested, motivate ...
broibra   
Nov 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities. [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Famous people like celebrities and footballers are often covered on the television and newspaper. While ordinary people are rarely covered in the media. I would argue that this is an important thing to adjust the proportion between the ordinary people and celebrities.

Celebrities have been an important part of so many people. There are plenty of them who admire celebrities because their lives are exciting. When people read or see news about celebrities such as their homes, or see the clothes they wear, a wide range of people want the same thing, rather want to become like them. So it makes people feel better for reaching their dream and it will give them a power to do a good thing in their life too.

Secondly, also a large number of people say that ordinary people can also have interesting lives. For example, volunteers who help people affected by disasters and get the award because they have been willing to spend a lot of time or a businessman who built his business from scratch and the profit has increased to the present. This became a source of inspiration for many who found themselves in a similar position. However, I think the public does not want to read about ordinary workers very often. But they only enjoy one particular because there is nothing to encourage them to read more.

To sum up, I believe it is good to show the lives of celebrities, but only to an extent where it could be motivating for the common man. Ordinary people must also be given for the portion belonging to the media while they had a great accomplishment so that many people are also motivated.
broibra   
Nov 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 1 : Consumer of stuff in Britain - explanation of the graph [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

... while in the last period, thesethus gained 77 and 80 percent in 1983 respectively.

but it still has expanded following this year. When it came to a refrigerator, it witnessed approximately at 90% in throughout the period.
broibra   
Nov 14, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Information regarding recruitment of English teachers and French teachers in Ontario [3]

The line graph illustrates information regarding recruitment of English teachers and French teachers according to year of graduation in Ontario between 2001 and 2007. Overall, it can be seen that the number of French and English teachers saw the similar percentage at the beginning of the period. However, in the end of the period, the percentage of French-language teachers rose slightly and English-language teachers fell dramatically.

At the beginning of the period, French-language teachers and English language teachers had a similar recruitment at around 70%, and also both of them decreased significantly to 55% in the next year. While, the figures of recruiting English teachers were a rapid decline to 40% and the number of recruiting French teachers were a grew rapidly to 66% in 2003.

During a three-year period, French and English recruited teachers at a stable rate. In addition, the figures of recruiting English teachers dropped sharply from 2006 to 2007 whereas there was a large growth in French hired teachers which peaked at approximately 75 at the end of period.




broibra   
Nov 14, 2015
Undergraduate / Difficulties make you stronger [2]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

I got the opportunity to be with the first group in my country try the accelerationaccelerated program

my mom came and told me I had success onin all exams and I passed! I was very happy and proud of myself, I exceeded everyone's expectations

Maybe I will give a little suggestion to you because this question. i stated my dream in the beginning and stated how these activities might help me to reach my goal

so what do you think is the problem ?


Let us not feel discouraged and hopeless. Instead, we should be proud and happy because we have just entered the initial steps of success. Why do more? Since the Foundation of our success is the dream we have. Any person who had success definitely starts with a dream. Build your dreams can be likened to a person who is building a home. Initially we have to build a solid foundation so that when natural disasters such as floods, earthquakes, or other which resulted in the home we build is cracked and broken, we can rebuild it.

So it is when we are seeking to realize the dreams we have. If we instill dreams already inherent in such strong within us, we will be ready to bounce back if we are experiencing natural disasters. Therefore, we should be a dreamer-dreamer active where we not only imagine alone but also take actions that support toward the achievement of our dreams. Make changes in ourselves, out of our comfort zone, and reach for our dreams.

Thank you, I hope my advice helps you.
broibra   
Nov 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Children are more dependent on junk foods rather than eating healthy food. [2]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?


Today, many children have an unbalanced diet, they are more dependent on junk foods rather than eating healthy food and health is a major issue among children these days. Many people think that their parents and their teachers must solve this problem as soon as possible. I extremely agree with this statement because parents and school are an important part in the lives of children.

Firstly, parents should keep children eating patterns at home and pay attention to what children eat, their food must contain a large amount of vegetables and nutrition with a little fat. Parents also have to cook for their children instead of buying fast food which is very dangerous for the health of children. In addition, parents should accompany his son to exercise in the morning.

Secondly, the school is responsible for controlling food in the cafeteria, they must prevent the canteen that sells unhealthy food and drinks to students. The school should also cultivate good schedule of physical education and sport for children.

On the other hand, the government also has a responsibility to provide more information about the healthy food for its citizens. They must also set up the broadcast in television such as creating event invites kids to wash hands before eating and to exercise in the morning.

In conclusion, not only parents and schools have to deal with this problem, but the government also has a responsibility. However, the people who most closely with the child that is what having a greater responsibility than others.
broibra   
Nov 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK1: Integritation problems according to people's ages who living abroad. [4]

The bar chart illustrated the percentage of some problems that are experienced by people who live abroad according the range of ages.

To begin, making new friends is being the greatest problem for young people aged 18 to 34 when they start living in a new country, a problem witnessed by 46 percent of the people in this age group. About 36% people of 35- to 54-year-olds find it difficult to make new friends, while the aged people who are over 55 years old experienced approximately 23% find it hard to forming friendship.

The aged people who are over 55 years old find the most difficult is to learn the local language. In contrast, people who aged 18 to 34 and 35 to 53 shows to learn the local language are easier, and the lowest percentage is about 29 percent to learn it.

In comparison people who aged over 55 hardest is learn new language, they are only experienced 22% have trouble finding accommodation. However, this is the second greatest problem for the people who aged 18 to 34 and 35 to 53 about 39 to 40 percent they are finding it hard.

I would like to sum up that according to this chart, it is easier to go and live in another country while you are still young rather than when you are over the age of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new language in a new country.




broibra   
Nov 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK1 : Persons Arrested in Five Years ending 1994 [5]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

... the most infractions that individuals carried ...

... case is drink driving, which is more ...

Next the third case is assaultassaulted , it is unexpected as the bar chart illustrates that females lead to a number of presentationpresentations over 19% and males by 3%.
broibra   
Nov 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / The major sources of income of the charity in the United States and their spending in various fields [NEW]

IELTS-TASK1: Revenue Sources and Expenditures of a USA Charity in One Year.

The pie chart shows the major sources of income of the charity in the United States and their spending in various fields over the past year. Overall, it can be seen that the total earned income from various sources is more than spending.

The money obtained from donations of food is a major part of the income, while the most of the expenditure was constituted by service program. Secondly, the sources of income, making more than three fourth, earned income from meals donated reaching 86.6%. But only about a tenth of it comes from the contributions of the community which is the second largest share. Following that, like Program Revenue, Investment income, Government Grants and other income altogether added to the rest 2.5%.

With regard to expenditure, 95.8% of money spent to service the largest part of the program if compared with 2.6% and 1.6% to fundraising and management and general respectively.




broibra   
Nov 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / The proportion of men and women caught on breaking the law in a period of five years - IELTS 1 [NEW]

IELTS-TASK1: Persons Arrested in Five Years ending 1994

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of men and women caught in a period of five years. The bar graph shows the latest arrests for various reasons. Overall, it can be seen that men were arrested more than women, and public drinking is the most common cause for arrest for both sexes.

To begin, percentage of the males arrested was much higher than the females. Males were arrested at 32 whereas females were at 9% % in a period of five years.

On the other hand, the main cause of arrest for drink driving in men is about 27% and the figure of the women at 14%. The main reason for women is a common drink in nearly 38%, compared to 31% for men. The beach of orders and other reasons it is also slightly higher for men, all standing around 12-18%, while for women the assault is slightly larger than the males in the 18%.

In conclusion, turning to the latest arrest of reasons, there are some clear differences between men and women.




broibra   
Nov 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The Arresting Percentage of Societies in Five Years Ending 1994 [3]

Hi, let me try to give you some suggestion for this writing.

The arresting percentage of societiessociety who violate was presented by pie and bar charts in five years ending 1994.

the females violating was assaultassaulted approximately 20% whereas the males violating was drinking while driving at over 25%.
broibra   
Nov 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The number of people detained between 1990 and 1991 [2]

It is noticeablenoticed that the percentage of the males detained waswere more than the females ...

... and both of categories were over ofwere over about 30% in this motive.

... the percentages of the females captured waswere more than the males.