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Posts by ADIE08
Name: Adie Baim
Joined: Jan 28, 2016
Last Post: Feb 28, 2016
Threads: 29
Posts: 30  
From: Indonesia
School: TADULAKO UNIVERSITY

Displayed posts: 59 / page 1 of 2
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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Social media as a communication has a bad impact on society and relationships [2]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on the relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Improving social media device in globalization era has an impact in communication among humanbeings. In my point of view, I tend to agree with that statement, in which there are negative effect about that.

First and foremost, the biggest impact of the electronic media as the communication tool is making longer relationship between people because it may limit people's direct communication and interacts with other people. For example, based on research by Global Network, showed that most people since 2000s had been tending to send messages or call by phone to communicate with the other rather than by faced direction. As a consequence, most of people in the world have a less emotional connection with humankind or family. Finally, media social has bad impact of relationship with others

In addition, other drawbacks of the cutting-edge communication media is a social impact, due to most of the people tend to apathetic with surrounding environment that is enough for them using by social media communication with other people. For example based on a statistic research by New York University, people prefer to felicitation by online networks such as Facebook, Path or LINE, than join in a birthday party or married party. As a result the social connection with surrounding or friend, every year becomes unfamiliar.

On the other hand, media also has a positive effect on one side, in which people lived in a different location easy to communicate with each other by a high social network. However, using of electronic device rather than meeting directly by face to face has a different emotional connection side. in another side, it also has beneficial of physiology and relationship.

The aforementioned evidence shows that media social as a communication has a bad impact on society and relationship in which it also has an influence of people neighborhood.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / All age groups witness the same difficulties when living abroad, but older have language issues [2]

... the percentage of elderly people who have the problem in language learning is higher than the others.

... the age of 18-34 group experience the higher problem in forming a friendship with 45%.
... followed by 29% of people who have the problem to learn local language. Subsequently, the middle agedmiddle-aged look having difficulties in ...

don't forget the article....
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic: No limits in car usage - problems and solutions [2]

As the living standard continues to improve, [...] we also have to suffer from the side effects that come with it. (you should mention what is the main problem )

One of the biggest problems caused by the overuse of cars is traffic congestion. This is because most of the people tend to use a private car than using of public transportation , For instance This is especially thean about that case such in megacities like Beijing where the number of cars increasing ...
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The energy is lost and wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house [NEW]

The diagram below show how is lost and energy and wasted in a house because of air getting into and out the house

The diagram reveals a process how air leaks work due to circulation then, there are several stages and divided of several rooms. Ventilators allow fresh air enter a house while hot air in the rooms is pulled toward the ceiling

At the first stage, the fresh air goes the basement house through crawl space in an outdoor faucet, in which it also use the dryer vent and the windows go to the washroom. In addition, in the second stages which standing on the second floor, the air goes to the bathroom through gaps in the wall, while in the middle room, most of the air enter it by the gap door and the windows. Moreover, the clean air goes to the kitchen room use the Fan vet. Therefore, most of the air enter the rooms to the upstairs.

In the other stages, the fresh air into the house is converted to the hot air, in which they up to the ceiling rooms. In addition, most air out through attic hatch in the middle room. it also goes to up by recessed light in the kitchen room and bathroom. Furthermore, there is much air in the bathroom exit in fan vet and plumbing stack vent on



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Working after school before going to university becomes the controversial issue in society [2]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people what do this

Working after school before going to university becomes the controversial issue in society in which many opinions say that teenager should work in some years before going to university. In my perspective, there are many drawbacks than benefits that young people do compare enroll to university.

Firstly, most problems faced by young people when they choose to work after the finish in school are less mentality. Because most of them have a problem to control their emotion in environment work, in which taking of control the emotion is related to behavior in the workplace. For example based on UNESCO organization more than 60 percent teenager choose to work after school in which they have a problem with the focus on their duty or job in the workplace. As a consequence, many teenagers are easily influenced by something, as a result, they less focus. Finally, most of the juvenile have a problem to manage their emotional.

Secondly, the other reasons are unbeneficial work after graduate in senior high school is an experience. The qualification of the teenager is not enough for them to join in the world of work. For example, many companies require people have good ability and highest experience appropriate to the job, however, teenagers graduates from senior high school have a less qualification to do that, as a result, many of them is not accepted work in companies than people have a qualification. Therefore less competition the world of work is basic problem of the adolescent

On the other hand, other opinions say that, juvenile choose to work after school is the best to do for them in which they can get many experiences in their job. However, it is not a guaranty for them getting expertise rather than join in university in which it also get new knowledge and experience too.

The aforementioned evidence shows that there are many disadvantages of teenager working after school than enroll in university.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates air circulation related to heat lost and energy wasted in rooms [2]

Overall, it can be seen that there areis much more air escaping rather than getting into the houses inhouse on all floors.

At semi basement floor (semi-basementwith Hyphen ), air from outside enters to ...
Then, air also goes inside from other parts of the building, passing dryer vent, (...) the top of the wall.

Turning to other floors, the ceiling in 2nd floor is a component of the building which is passed by air, through the electrical outlet in the bathroom.

... the way of air entering to the living room and ...
It is similar atsimilar to kitchen room where air comes ...
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The chart show that both parents, whether with very young children or juveniles, are happy enough. [2]

With regard to parent with young adults, at a half of the percentage, parents were fairly happy. Subsequently, a mother or father who was very happy athappy with just under a half, and it had difference of 3%, compared bycompared with parents who felt fairly charmed. Then, at 3% of parents were not happy, and it was the lowest number.

Moving to a more detailed analysis aboutanalysis of parents with teenage children, at 61% parents who was fairly happy,
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Besides of a wind turbine picture, the optimum location also affects the amount produced electricity [NEW]

The diagram below show the design for a wind turbine and its location

The diagram illustrates a wind turbine structure and the optimal location to generate more electricity. In general, the technology and the palaces of locating are the two effective parameters to reach the more electricity via the wind

A wind turbine consists of a high steel tower which other parts are installed on it, other parts are blades, which are made of fiberglass or wood. Moreover the generator, one of the essential parts of this system and produce 1.5 megawatts be put in behinds of blades. In addition in the underground of a wind turbine, there is home and computer inside that The computer measures speed and direction of wind via the wind sensors, As each of this to parameters changes, direction, and angels of blades would be changed respectively.

Besides of a wind turbine picture, the optimum location also has an influence of the affecting the amount of produce electricity. There are two the best positions of turbine that are on the top of the mountain and high seas which they get maximum wind strengths. On the other sides, the lower position gets the wind is below the mountain that is home turbine produce until 100 kilowatts electricity



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The information gained about happiness rating for married and unmarried people in the USA [NEW]

The chart below show the result of a survey on happiness rating for married and unmarried people in the US and the effect of children on the overall ratings of a married couple.

The bar chart reveals the percentages of statistic rates a happiness of people in their life based on married and unmarried in the USA and also effect children in a family. it is evident from the information that, the married couple have the highest rates while married couple both of children or not in family have a similar rates.

Looking detail on the data, all ages married groups from teenager to adult over 65 ages have similar patterns rates, in which group 18-29 ages is the highest rate of 45 percent compare the others group have a range around 2- 4 percent. Otherwise, based on not married in the US citizen below 64 ages, averages have a half of total percentages than the married couple. In addition, there are anomaly data which 34 percent group aged 65 and overs say happiness in their live

Turning to other data, most of the American couple say that have a child below 18 and over 18 ages happy in their life around 41 to 44 percent. However, That averages rates also have similar rate than people without children in their family at 43 percent.



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Money in businesses - innovation and people are the key ingredients of the successful enterprise. [NEW]

the purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this

In globalization era, businesses become dominance in all aspect society in which it have purposes how the people getting income and spending it. I think that innovation and people are the key ingredients of the successful enterprise.

Firstly, money is important., money is part of the company to develop business but is not aim which businesses modern era, Because they needed is innovation and driven by the ability to solve a new problem. For instance, Nokia Company, the biggest company in the world which is the dominance of market share of mobile phone since the 1990s. However, began in 2005 Nokia the decline in sales this is probably Nokia lacks of attention on the innovation side of its product, and consistent with the previous product. Consequently, it failed to attract general consumer and bankruptcy in 2012. Finally, money is not goal each of company but how they survive in the global market and crating of the new idea.

Moreover, the business shall also focus on upgrading its people. Because improving the ability of a person in the company will bring business growing. For example, the Samsung company invest billion dollar focus on education and creativity of their employee thus this company success into the biggest electronic company in the world. In addition, some corporation which only focuses on maximizing income and ignores their workers' skills will be difficult to survive in global competition. It is clear, therefore, that the continuous changes demand collaboration of knowledgeable and creative people.

The aforementioned argument revels that although money is crucial for business, the other factors, such as innovation and people, cannot be disregarded.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task1: The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland [2]

Overall,the birth rate and the population growth ...

I will try the other overview.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of demographic trends based on birth rate, the rate of population growth and death rate during 80 years from 1940 to 2020. It is apparent from the information that, although population rate had experienced increased but all trend decreased significantly

don't try mention all the data but try of the key point, or the most important in the data .
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Healthy lifestyle in the modern era is a hard thing to deal, but staying fit depends on willingness. [2]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that is essay for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be

The phenomenon issue of healthy life that is common thought in society. Many opinions believe that find healthy in globalization era that is really hard but some people against that perception, they argue that the advancement of technology is significant to assist human for finding healthy. but I think to gain good health's status is easy for modern people, as long as they want to achieve it.

The globalization is the result of the best invention through human history. it can be seen that the globalization leads to the human working easier than in the past era. People can work all tasks in office by computer and more productive than that in a couple of decades ago. Unfortunately, workers solely spend their time just sitting down in office that is the lack of physical exercises. Based on medical research by London metropolitan hospital says that more than fifty percent of workers threatened by cardiovascular disease, as a result of too much sitting and work and lack of exercise.

On the other hand, a lot of people argues that in the modern era is easy to find healthy, they believe that the more technology growing, the more benefits occur. For example, all activity people related connect to the internet which using of the technology, they easy to find healthy food such assisting healthy-web. In addition, the technology brings a benefit such as fitness-tools. People can buy that many healthy tools. As the result, regular physical exercise can be done anytime include in office.

The aforementioned evidence shows that healthy in the modern era is hard things to deal, but some people argue that in my perspective, it is easy dealing with healthy and staying fit that all depend on willingness.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The clothes which people wear cannot judge who they are, but we need to dress accordingly [2]

Nowadays, many people pay a big attention aboutattention to their fashion which they ...
... clothes which people wear reflectsreflect who they are, and other groups believe ...
... indicate who people are as every people(every must be followed singular noun)person (or all people have ) has a different personality ...

His property product always gets well-respond(in this sentence cannot be used Hyphen because will be a different meaning) well respond in the market and it can be sold at a relativerelatively short time, so that ...
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Young married couple with children are the happiest group, such as unmarried people aged 65 and more [2]

... and the feeling of the married couple in the effect of children.
... and unmarried people in the age of 65 and over group isgroup are happier people than the other aged age groups.

With regard to people who have married, the young couple with child age under 18 is a more charmed couple at 45%...
Next, 44% of the married couple incouple at the age of 30 to 49 groups and ...
Subsequently, People in aged 50 to 64 at two fifthfifths of the percentage

where is the picture ?
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The results of a survey asking workers about their relationship with supervisor and their co-workers [NEW]

The charts below show the results of a survey in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationship with supervisor and their co-workers.

The charts reveal a comparison the number of two surveys employees' relationship with supervisor and Co-workers in 2005 and 2009, is measured in percentages. In general, The most significant results in the graph show that "very good" has dominated both years.

According to data, there a few different numbers "very good" categories with a supervisor which there was a 4 percent improvement over periods four years. At the same time, the relationship with co-workers increased 7 percent to total 70 percent in the last period. In addition, the second high percentages both of two groups were "good" item, that based on supervisor correlation was decreased from 26% to 22% while the other group in co-workers lose at 3 percent from 2005 to 2009.

Turning to other classification items both of co-worker and supervisor, mostly had a range of percentages around 1 percent until 8 percent. In which over three years letter, the survey items in supervisor fell around 3 percent, It also happened in a co-worker. However, there was anomaly data group supervisor which, people said that don't have a supervisor increased at 4 percent than previously.



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, many companies require their workers wearing a fashion dress in the workplace [NEW]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Other value quality of work above appearance

Nowadays, many companies require their worker wearing a fashion dress in the workplace while other opinions say that work ability is more important than wearing a good dress. In my point of view, there are benefits in both of two statements. Following this essay, I will give strong reasons.

There is no doubt that, without good clothes employees will be easy to work. Because some professions require working with clothes that are susceptible to dirt and also they jobs need more quality person than styles, such as such engineer, or mechanic. In addition, it outweighs for them in money sides, because they can save our income than focus on buying a good fashion thus people can use their income for the other purpose. Finally, some works are affordable the employee wearing informal dress to help them in their job and also the worker can save their profits

In other sides, having a good fashion also has an advantage for some people because it shows a person's appearance in the public. In addition, this job requires each individual wearing good clothes which have benefits from them related to the job. For instance, people work in public services such as a frontline in the bank or the sales promotion product, in which the job has an improving the consumer confidence or the public officials like a major city or governor that clothe show off their position in society. As a consequence, people believe in their job then get the good result and also will build public trust.

In conclusion, I friendly believe that wearing a good dress or not the work environment, both of them have an advantage in some aspects.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Two surveys in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential [NEW]

The table below gives the result of two surveys in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked with communication skills were essential in their job

The table graph provides the percentage of result survey based on external and internal communications skills in their jobs. It is apparent from the information that the results show that the demographic in 2006 experienced increment than in the first survey in almost all of the skills. The result shows that dealing with people and listening carefully to peers are by far the most significant factors that should be considered

Looking for detail on table At the external area, people should consider four importance skills The figure show that dealing with people is the most important if compared to others, presented at 65% in 2006 which increased five percent than the previous year People with knowledge of particular products or services ability are the next highest substantial factor, at 6% increment while the ability of advising or caring for customers accounted for 39%. Selling a product service talent is the least important decreasing to 3% over a period of 9 years.

Turning to other data, in internal communication, people tend to listen carefully their colleagues was the highest rate which the survey shows 9% increment compared to years 1997. While The second highest skill is instructing or training people Its proportion rose 5% over the period in the question. Moreover, employees with the capability to analyze problems together with others is depicted almost half of the listening ability as well as the persuading or influencing skill. While the other items the range increased from 3 percent to 6 percent too.



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The way of dressing continues to be a controversial topic in globalization era [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others however say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear

Dress continues to be a controversial topic in globalization era because some opinion says that the performance of someone can be looked with a fashion of people wear. However, others believe that the behavior of people is not measured by a dress which they wear. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss now.

In general, people said that the fashion of they wear can be a show of their quality, which is a basic psychology, the clothes of they wear can change the mindset people when the first time meets of someone. For instance, the managers company requires of a formal dress that showing of capability in their jobs so the partner works believe them his quality in the first time meeting. However based on statistics are more difficult to know the people habits than what cloths they were.

In addition, people cannot measure other how far the behavior of other people, because the behavior is characteristic someone since they born or influenced by the environment of people. For example, most people use a formal dress in an office is not always showing their habits good or not, based on American statistics research, many people in west countries were a formal dress tend to illegal activity than people without formal clothes, such us corruptors, or computer hackers. On another side, many people without formal dress have good habits and ability, such as the rich man, Bob Sadino or Mahatma Gandhi. Therefore, the people characteristic cannot be looked by the uniform they were.

The aforementioned evidence shows that, formal clothes are essential to showing of basic behavior people, but in my perspective, it is characteristic of people cannot be just good or not each person what they wear, because it be influenced many aspects.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country [2]

The chat below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.

The bar chart illustrates comparison the percentage of the people of Bulgaria who emigration and then living in abroad based on the level of educations in three periods. It is apparent from the information that people who had a middle education was the highest rate in all periods but decreased considerably while the most significant-change were Higher education's chart grew in last periods.

Looking detail on the data, the data, secondary education fell slightly year by year which in 2002 the leveled off 65 percent but fell 4 percent three years letter and pulled to 59 percent in 2008.

Turning to primary and lower education expressed fast growth. Starting at 18 percent in the first survey then increased steadily just one person in the next periods while in 2008 the percentage was rocketed dramatically which the level pecked 32 percent. On the other hand, the Bulgarian people who had the higher education decreased, although it experienced grew 3 percent in 2006 but 2008 it descend from 19 percent 2002 to 9 percent in 2008,



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ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The style of clothes and capability have a role in workplace, it should be balanced and appropriate [2]

... several companies takepay a big attention more to the appearance ...
... have a role in workplace, it should be balanced and appropriate with the circumstances.

... looked-perfect appearance and dresses neatly as they mustto face the passenger directly and they reflect the company ...

... employees in work field has an undoubtedly important role undoubtedly because it influences ...

... have a capability in that field to sellpromote the product of development smartly.
... but also their appearance is become the focal point.
... that value quality of work is also other important side in companies.

... the outfits and quality of work have equalthe same role to the companies and ...
ADIE08   
Feb 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Surveys representing the employees' relations with their supervisor and co-worker IELTS Task 1 [3]

The breakdown of a comparison of two surveys in percentages representing the employees' relations ..
... the most significant results in the charts show ...

According to the first chart, just over three-fifths of occupants hadhave 'very good' relation with ...
... 26 % of workers, who hadhave 'good' interaction, fellfall to 22 % in the next four years.
... number of proportion and alteration occurred towards fair as well as poor relationship.

... 63 % of officers also hadhave 'very good' relation with co-workers and it experienced increase to seven in ten. 2005 also saw that there wasis good relationship which wasis owned by 28 % of employees and then it declined of three percent in the end of period.
ADIE08   
Feb 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / A survey representing the people who are happy in the US (IELTS Task 1) [2]

The breakdown of a survey representing the people in percentages who are happy in the United ...
This survey is measured in percentages. Overall, the married citizenswho are marriedare( there are two verb) happier than unmarried dwellers.

It is shown by more than two-fifths of the 18-29 age groups ...
... while only 40 % of citizens also have samesimilar feeling.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Undergraduate / "As for my fate, I'll accept it whenever Zeus sends it." Main Transfer Essay - the reasons [3]

... I'd never thought of my future.while I chose history as ... however, I didn't train (...) foreign language study which I had an ambitious application list, that included a lot of ... When I look back onback at my choices, I realize that ...

In addition , Entering as a history major, I now realize that my interests reside in so many ways in the humanities generally and I want to distribute my time evenly among different disciplines. Thus, I want to pursue the interdisplinaryinterdisciplinary studies that OSU does not offer.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy and it generates obesity [3]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree whit this statement

There is no doubt that children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy in which It has generated childhood obesity in many parts of the world. Many opinions say that both of parent and school should have strategies to tackle this problem. For the same reason, totally agree that statement, However, I also believe that there are several measurements to consider preventing such overweight children's issue.

To begin with, there are several factors that cause children have an unhealthy lifestyle which the most crucial reason is an unhealthy diet. Many children tend to consume fast-foods, Jung foods, or snacks, in which that food contain high in fat, sugar, and salt. This condition is getting worse as parents' awareness of their menu in the home. Both father and mother are busy of their work and do not have time to provide nutritious meals. Another factor is less of physical activities. today's young generations this era tends to spend much time indoor by sitting in front of computer, television, or kinds of the modern devices rather than doing sports activities. As a result, these bad habits have damaged children's growth process and have encouraged diseases especially obesity.

In addition, since the issue is established spread in, both of some people believe that teachers and parents should play some methods to deal with, for instance, They have an important role to reduce and prevent kid obesity by modeling healthy life,in which children can see their role model of healthy life. As a result, these strategies may bring positive impact and it can reduce gradually minimize children's health problems. Therefore, good example of parents and teachers provide knowledge about the importance of healthy life

The aforementioned evidence shows that, I would argue that child diet and exercise regularly can reduce the health risk for them.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Undergraduate / 'You are a female, do not bother going to college' SOP essay for transfering to UT [7]

And that moment where, with a brochure onbrochure in my hand, I must ...
First impressions mean everything, especially when related to selling.
... approaching people with little or no interested oninterested in my product was were the hardest part ...
... yet 1 out of 6 people I approached approached, did.
This job helped ameliorate y skills as a seller since ...
By ameliorate my selling skills and not entirely ...
... chocolate to gathering money for the church.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Scholarship / 'Big role in an government project'; Detailed Study Plan and Future Plan - Korean Scholaship [2]

Hi, everyone! My name is Novihya from Indonesia. I'm applying toapplying for Korean Scholarship. please review my study plan :) thank you!

At first, I will join the Korean language program. I will start learning Korean language after arriving in Korea,

By doing all that, I hope I will be able to enhance my communication skills in the appropriate way and gain proficiency in the Korean. Learning the Korean language will be one of my priorities.

I want to prepare the subjects by communicatingfor communicating the curriculum

so I can be a focus to strengthen

I would like to carryingcarry out research

solve a variety of issues or building's

the First thing I need to

I will try to get that into the habit of looking of looking at my planner

I want to become a professional xxx who can be creatively responsible inresponsible for globalization

who want to become a xxxx and the have same interest with my field

be carefully your proposition.
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Media should have a duty to publish only verified information and focus more on the important news [4]

the media pay too much attention to lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers and footballers, they should spend more time reporting the live ordinary people, to what extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays the media such TV, radio, newspaper spend much time to focus on the famous people such artist or actor, in which there are not famous people have a good ability and skill to publish. In my opinion, I tend to agree that media should make balanced information to public.

First and foremost, medias should have a duty to give each information in public is matched which is not only one side. Because the consumer of media does not come in one layer society, that there are many level people as the customer the media. For example, some Medias in Indonesia more interested give information about the hot issue of the celebrity life such as Syahrini, however in other sides only a little information from the media tell about Indonesian Inventor such the Mr. Warsito who is the inventor of medicine cancer in Indonesia whereas their knowledge very essential for Indonesian people. As a consequence, the Indonesian people has a got little beneficial information rather than the celebrity news. Finally, should the information provided to the public by the media must be a balance.

In addition, the entertainment like TV or newspaper has a moral obligation to the society that every a news their publication to society have a social education inside. For instance, media should not give information about a hot issue such artist's personal life which their personal life cannot be a role model in society. Moreover, sometimes, celebrities will not feel comfortable to publish their private life when they are followed everywhere by paparazzi. Therefore, media has the rule to give information in society true.

The aforementioned evidence shows that the mass media such as television, magazines, and online news pay too much attention to disseminating gossip of celebrities even though it is not essential to be obtained. However, ordinary people who probably can be inspiring others should have appeared in the media. Where possible, they should have the same proportion of the famous people.
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Undergraduate / How Purdue will support you in terms of your program of study? [3]

... for students staying up late in the labrarylibrary .
Students have a chance to join in amounts of ...
Facing these nice people at Purdue will give an unforgetableunforgettable expression for international students
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Total percentage of teachers enlisting in Ontario City (2001 - 2007) who teach English and French [3]

The line graph reveals about the total percentage of the teacher enlisting in Ontario City from 2001 to 2007 which divided two subjects. It is apparent from that information that, English-language teachers decreased significantly while French language teachers despite had experienced decreased but over the period the level increased slightly.

Looking detail on the data showed started in 2001 stood at over 70% accepted as teachers in English subject in which it was the highest rate in the same year. However, two years later total percentages decreased dramatically in which it was losing over 20%. Whereas from 2003 to 2005, total percentages of English teacher accepted in the Ontario City increased slightly around 2 percent than previously but following this, the trend rate sharply falls until a finish under 30% in 2007 .

Turning to total percentages of French language teachers, in 2001 stood 70% was accepted in the Ontario City, however, it dropped to near 50% in the next year. Moreover, the rate was showed increased rapidly more than 20% in 2003. Over the next years to finish in 2007, the percentage rise rapidly in which despite had experienced drop slightly below 70% in 2007 but it peak at over 72% in the last period.



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ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / A comparison of changes in the number of population in Columbia, Yamhill and Washington (1940-2000) [2]

In 1940, the proportion of the population in Washington stood at 75,000.

... grew noticeably to virtually 245,000 habitansthe citizen, experiencing more than ...

On the other side, Columbia and YamhilYamhill began at fairly similar proportion...
In 1970, there were a slight rise (...) and 45,000 inhabitant s successively.
... figures for the population in Columbia and YamhilYamhill finished at roughly ...

( be careful on spelling and article)
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The aim of university is to help graduates find better jobs - or there are some benefits for others? [3]

Please note that the next time you provide a useless comment in other student's thread, your account will be suspended.

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion

Many opinions say that the most purpose of education in a university is the scholars easy getting a work. While in others reasons say that education is beneficial for person and community. In my perspective, both of those statements have basic reasons each other. Following this essay, I will give my strong opinions

Firstly, the most reason is skill and ability, because in the university has different system education in which the basic function is improving the students' knowledge and expertise than in senior high school. For example, who want to become a lawyer, judge or prosecutor must enroll university in law faculty, or want to a teacher must choose education faculty in which in that places have a the specific education appropriated the job. As a consequence the student easy to find a job when their graduate from university. Finally, university has beneficial to improve the competence and capability.

In contrary, university also has purpose in side of individual and community because essential aspect on those is social in which the end of goal of university is creating the benefit effect for individual and social for example, many inventors are originated from university in which their invention very useful for human beings, such Marie curie who was the college teacher at Stockholm University in 1908, in which she who success conducted pioneering research on radioactivity as a consequence her invention, she got honor by the government and Nobel price in science thus it is very useful for medicine science and humanity. Finally, education in university intended as a useful basis for many people.

In conclusion, the aim university between getting the job or benefit for the person or beneficial for society or individual, while in my perspective, those statements have a strong reason each other, because since it depends on the view of each person to see it.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Financing the education and health are more primary need than defraying the costs of other aspects [2]

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Spending the money for art and public service to be the controversial topic in some countries in which many opinions says that art is compulsory in society while other opinions say that the public service such education and health are obligatory. In my point of view, there are benefits effects in society, both of two statements.

To begin, the advantages of the government fundIing of the art and museum is education history. Because in those places, people can learn many things about the history or artwork include for the next generation. For example, in Jakarta city, there are some museum and art gallery in which it have education function, such as Ceramics Museum or Batik gallery. Moreover, that places also have memorial aspect, in which is one function to remember who or something in society. For instance, the Sudirman or Sukarno-Hatta statues. As a consequence, the payment for art has a beneficial In knowledge side.

On the other hand, the government also has an obligation funding in social public such education and health, because those aspects are crucial things by citizen increasing their prosperity. For example, the Brunei Darussalam government spending much money gives the scholarship for the family poor and also in this country is giving the free payment in medicine treatment and hospital. As a consequence, the welfare social and life expectancy of citizen is guaranteed. Finally, the purposed by government funded health and education is affluence the citizen

The aforementioned evidence shows that both of funding for art in one side and education and health. on another side is the essential aspect of society, while in my opinion, financing of education and health are more primary before defraying the other aspect.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Claims that public museums and art galleries will not be needed [2]

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Many opinions say that the art galleries and general museum are not important aspect in the modern era, in which people can be observed all history object and work by the technology computer. While in my perspective, I do not agree that statement which the museum and arts have some benefits function in society.

First and foremost, the essential aspect of museum art is history. Because that object inside is invaluable price also there is historical side each the objects. For example, based on a statistic by LOUVRE National Museum in Paris, every year twenty thousand people whole the world visited that museum in which most of them interested in looked the special section that is the painting of Monalisa by a masterpiece of Leonardo de Caprio, Rather than looked by screen computer. As a consequence people, willing spend much money visited the art gallery or museums that showing the historical object of the high valuable.

The other reason is education side, in which using the museum or art gallery is important aspect to teach the next generation about their history, that the ancestor legacy is tangible. For example, sometimes people needed fine information about the historical site such Borobudur temple or Proclamation places is real or not in which going to those places, people can be looked and touch direction the object that proving the heritage is real. Compared by screen computer only looked the pictures. Finally, the museum or art gallery functions are still beneficial in the side of science and knowledge.

The aforementioned evidence shows that museum and art gallery functions constantly useful as history and education.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / PUBLIC LIBRARIES AND THEIR FUNCTION FOR HUMANS. Are they redundant already? [NEW]

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

public libraries services without human?



The technology computer is changing all activities people In the world, in which preserving of general libraries uses a manpower that spends much money. However, in my opinion, I tend to disagree with that statement, public libraries still need the people inside in which there are some benefits in security and maintenance side.

Firstly, the most reasonable why human beings still require is safety. Moreover, the general libraries have many book and manuscript in which the values of those are so expensive in which human activity very essential to secure it. For example, most of building and office include the libraries still use the people as the security guard. Because using the computer has a limitation to avoid each threat come. As a consequence, the safety of public library need be guaranteed. Finally, in security side, the human function still irreplaceable.

In addition, the other benefits the people are needed is history side. Because most of the books in the library have oldest ages in which some book is invaluable if be looked history, thus is needed extra maintenance to care that books, which the computer is difficult to handle it. For instance, the Indonesian National library Jakarta every three days the officer staff check and clean the oldest manuscript or book such Negarakertagama, or Serat Centini, from dust and fungus, in which those books are the highest circumspection for the treatment. As a result the oldest book function still useful for the next generation reader. So the human activities to maintain the antique book still essential.

In contrary, another case, the computer also has an important case to make the job easy in which it can reduce off time and money. However, doing all activities only by the computer is not guarantee in security method and technical treatment the some ancient books. Therefore, human function in public library always is useful.

The aforementioned evidence shows that people have a crucial aspect in the books maintenance and safety the public library.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / In 1940 Japan stood at below 5% of people aged 65 and now prediction shows the rise to 27% in 2040 [5]

The line graph provides of the quantity of population 65 years and over, according to the percentage from 1940 to 2040 year in three cities. It is apparent from the information that, although Japan was the lowest member in the first period in 1940 while over 100 years later it will be the highest percentage of people 65 ages and next.

Looking detail on the data, Japan stood at below 5 percent of people 65 years in 1940. Moreover, in 1960, it slightly decreased to below 5 percent. Then, the line was steady twenty years later. in addition, a total population in Japan increased gradually between 1980 to 2000, in which approximately in the middle of 2030, the percentage will increasing dramatically and peak in 2040 around 27 percent.

On the other data, Sweden and The USA, both of them stood at below 10 percent in 1940, in which they had similar rate and fluctuation until 60 years later. However in the middle 1980, they were separated in which Sweden increased gradually until 2040 even though had experienced decreased in 2010 but it will be growing over in 2020. In contrary, USA will have stabling rate until in 2020 then, it is increasing and finish in 2040.



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ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table graph shows the routes, opening years and total customers in underground railway systems [3]

The table graph provides reveal the Beneath Railways system, based on a route, year of the opening, and total customer in some cities in three continent, Asia, Europa, and America. It is apparent from the information that London city is the oldest and the longest route while Tokyo city is the biggest of a total passenger.

According to the date opened, two cities in Europe have the oldest underground railways system that is London and Paris. Formally London station opened in 1863, in which over 60 years later Tokyo station was opened that is the oldest in Asia. Moreover based on data, Los Angeles station becomes the last opened, in which the range with London city is around 130 years.

Looking detail on kilometer route, it is clear that the oldest city station also related to a long route, in which London city is the longest of the total kilometer route. However there is anomaly data in which Kyoto city was the second older but it has a shorter distance than the last station that is Los Angeles.

On the other data, based on the passenger per year, Kyoto has a bigger of total occupant underground railways system than the other cities while London has around a half total passenger than Kyoto and Los Angeles is the last city has a smaller the total customer.



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