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Posts by rosadesiana
Name: rosa
Joined: Aug 25, 2016
Last Post: Oct 19, 2016
Threads: 38
Posts: 40  
Likes: 2
From: indonesia

Displayed posts: 78 / page 1 of 2
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rosadesiana   
Oct 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The stress in not our enemy - it may become a friend [2]

Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend

Kelly McGonigal is a health psychologist, who designed a mission to make people become healthier and happier in their lives, however she was fret if what she was trying to do gave worse sides rather than the good effects. At the first time, she has tried to make stress became enemy but lately she has changed her mind because of a study discovered 30000 adults in US and asked them some questions like, how much stress do you experience in last year and do you believe that stress is harmful for your health. The study shown that believing that stress is harmful to the body is more danger rather than you know that you are in stress. When you change your mind about stress you can change your body response towards it, based on a test has been conducted in Harvard University. She wanted to make us better at stress, because when you tell your body that you have a right to control your self and tell to your body that this is your body, in a second the body believes you and your body will be more relax, then the responses that come up will be different. All this stress is connecting to a hormone called Oxytocine. This hormone is not only act in your brain but also in your body and to other organ such as heart regenerating.
rosadesiana   
Oct 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED SUMMARY - Jim Hemerling: 5 ways to lead in an era of constant change [3]

Jim Hemerling: 5 ways to lead in an era of constant change

El Seed, was born in Paris and learnt Arabic at his 18, talked about the street art such as graffiti and calligraphy that he used as devices to deliver peace and hope messages to the universe. In the first instance, he merely wrote on the walls but then he was allowed to paint on a 78 meters of a mosque tower by the Imam in Tunisia. The bizarre thing was the Imam did not ask what would he paint on it, the Imam let him created what he decided. Then he mixed the calligraphy and graffiti and put a message in Arabic language which quoted from Koran, said that " oh humankind, we have created you from men and women to know one each other" and the Imam was extremely happy and hoped that the mosque could be a landmark of the city to unite the community. His goal of painting the Arabic graffiti and calligraphy is to bring people, generation to get the peace, you do not have to know the meaning of it to connected to the peace, since there is a beauty that you do not necessitate to translate because in Arabic graffiti and also Arabic scripts speak to everyone. He has once painted a graffiti in Rio de Janeiro, he tinted on rooftops and everybody was curios to know what does it mean, once he told them the meaning, they thanked to him and tended to feel connected and peace. In South Africa, he pictured a graffiti which means "it seems possible until it is done". In Paris, a never-to-be-forgotten affair was happened, when a guy let him to paint on his wall and he drew an Arabic graffiti, that guy was mad and want his wall to be cleared as he finished it, he was disappointed at that time. A week after, a magic matter happened, an event organization called him and asked him to create a graffiti on the wall right in front of the guy's house. He was happy because the guy who dislikes his work before should see the graffiti everyday. By painting the graffiti and calligraphy he wished everybody enjoy the graffiti even they do not have any idea what does it mean, he hopes the messages in it will spread a happiness, peace and hopes around the globe.
rosadesiana   
Oct 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / John McWhorter described why we -as human- have to learn different languages [2]

TED 2 - John McWhorter: 4 reasons to learn a new language

John McWhorter described why we -as human- have to learn other languages. English is taking over the world, everybody is speaking English, the language of internet, language of popular music or even a language of air traffic control. Still people should learn another tongues even the society can communicate in only one language, English. These are the causes based on McWhorter's view, firstly, because language is the only key method to unite into one culture, to adapt with native society. Then create a multitasking person, to speak more than native language is a good proficiency. It gives more benefits on every single chance, work, scholarship, position and thousand more occasion. Third, to gain some fun. Learn a new speech is a lot of fun, gain knowledge while have so much enjoyment. Lastly know a novel language is discovering a new world which has a diverse words. However, the mode of go into language skills has developed from years to years which public is capable to learn everywhere without attending the class in this modern era.
rosadesiana   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IDEAS WORTH DATING, ideas which will be matched with character, [3]

Ted 1 ideas worth dating

A 45-year-old white man was trying to uncover a number of ideas which will be match with his character, he would like to create a connection with the human being out of his comfort zone, home. He then searched them in ted sites and happily found some people who he thought will have appropriate visions with him. Firstly, he met a gardener, Ron Finley who believes that people should farm their own foods to get a healthy food, because food is the problem but food is also the solution. Then he moved to meet Eric McKean - a dictionary editor- who has a responsibility to put as much words into the dictionary. Next, he arranged a schedule to meet Beau lotto, who shared his views about the reality, in his opinion, human has no an access to discover the reality, even human has a perfect sensory information such as eyes and ears. He also spent time with a primatologist who said that Bonobos is a frequent imaging conflict and social issues. Then Jane McGonigal thinks that we have to show an epic mimic on our faces, which will show a positive energy, because you never know the upsides of your self until you did it. After that he met a mathemagician who told that math is not only a case of finding what is an X, but also to figure the reason. Lastly, he came to a vocalist and comedian place named Reggi, he explained that we have to make a decision to choose and continue our lives, because without decision we have no power, powerless means no change we will have.
rosadesiana   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Child Trauma Can Cause Trauma Aging [2]

Hello, here is my suggestion

the number of people ==> A number ( people are not explained yet )
it is sensitive matter for most of them(it always becomes a sensitive matter) ==>my suggestion
contribution inTO the aging process
horrible experience in social life alsoretardS
when someone has been adult (at the time he grows) ==> my suggestions

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Aziz Abu Sarah, a tourism entrepreneur and peace builder from Palestine - report [3]

SUMMARRY 9 - FOR MORE TOLERANCE WE NEED MORE ........ TOURISM ?

Aziz Abu Sarah, a tourism entrepreneur and peace builder from Palestine talked about how a journey able to deliver a great impact to the peace around the globe. He believes that a travel done by tourists which leave their native country and come to a novel country that they never visit before and discover what is happening in that country, connect with people, make a relationship with the native citizen and uncover everything that cannot be read on books or cannot be found on google. This is a right mode to develop the connections within humankind in the earth. Imagine if every people have a chance to do traveling and connecting with people in the city, build a brotherhood through the different cultures, behaviors, languages and perceptions. Imagine how the community in this world will be united. This method is a perfect way, to travel, create a sustainable tourism and a sustainable way of connecting and friendship in diversity. If we can embody this long-term project to make a better life, then a case which occurred to my brother when he was 18 would never happen to other's life anymore. My brother was arrested after been suspected as the a doer who throw the stone, then he was beaten up because he did not want to admit that it was him. At the time he left the prison he was weak and passed away because of the injuries he suffered. I dedicate my self to conduct a sustainable tourism which hopefully will lead to the peace condition in the long run in the world.
rosadesiana   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Kio Stork made an explanation how we can create an exquisite relationship with strangers we meet [2]

TED 7, WHY YOU SHOULD TALK TO THE STRANGERS

Kio Stork made an explanation about how we can create an exquisite relationship with strangers we meet. To say hello and how are you to neighbors, greet people on the street, smile to them are such weird and avoid things to do by majority of people nowadays. It is a dangerous act to do especially for the kids who have no sense when they have to talk to the strangers or not to be to close. Basically, the simple words like hello and how are you seems too stereotype and nothing but, it seems completely different to the strangers you try to greet to, existence, a social meaning, is a great feeling to start a day. Noticing by people we do not know, smile to us, do not ignore us and spend time to have a chit chat with us is a form of merit of the world. A huge benefits will be felt by people who like to meet new people and build a short contact with the unknown human being around such as a liberating feeling and intimacy condition. These effects give a sense that it feels much better to talk to the strangers than families or friends, or even spouses. This feeling comes as talk to the people we meet only once in life is a quick interaction with no consequences in the long run. However a variety of cultures in diverse countries in the world raised different effects related to why we are suggested to talk to the unknown human. For example, in America it is a normal habit to be independent and ignore people around us, people will look away if they have to stand close one each other, they do that to give space to the person close to. In Denmark people will let their bus stop pass by to avoid of saying excuse me to go through a crowded bus to go down, while Egypt has a contrary habit of this thing, people will invite you to have a cup of coffee if you ask a direction to him. And it will be so rude to ignore people we meet out of home. Some steps people can follow to talk to the strangers, make an eye contact, smile, notice someone's shoes, or talk about something probably both of you see at that time. At the last time, she stressed thatwe could make a space for change.
rosadesiana   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Neuro-revolution: sending a message from our brain to someone else's body is possible [2]

TED SUMMARY 7 - HOW TO CONTROL SOMEONE ELSE'S ARM WITH YOUR BRAIN

Greg Gage is someone who has a big intention in neuro-revolution and electrophysiology, came and demonstrated in front of TED's viewers how a brain could take a control over somebody's arm. It seems impossible to send a message from our brain to someone else's body. However Gage proved that it could be happen. In his speech, he emphasized that brain is an amazing and most complex organ which able to give a command almost to a whole part of body. Unfortunately, people will not get any further information about brains in schools because it necessitates expensive and complex devices, takes you to the university or large institute to know the specification of brain and be a neurologist, beside to access your brain you need to dedicate your life around 6 and half years or more than that to discover the neuroscience. In this occasion, he demonstrated a system called DIY invented by his friend and him to the public. An instrument which is capable to show that human's brain has a control to move other's arm, helped by 2 volunteers, at the first time, he showed that a single movement has been done by one volunteer caused by the message has been sent by brain to the arm. At the second time, he connected some cables to the other arm's volunteer to prove that a single command from the first volunteer brain can moves and rules the second volunteer's arm. And when the first person squeezed her arm, a weird and strange thing happened, the second person's arm was moving simultaneously as the first person's arm moved. This is for him is a revolution of neurology and an improvement of electrophysiology. Imagine what is the most possibility thing human can do with this theory that one brain can control someone else's arm.
rosadesiana   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Anthony Goldbloom told his worries about his niece, Yahli, 9 months old. [5]

TED SUMMARY - jobs we'll lose to machines - and the ones we won't

Anthony Goldbloom told his worries about his niece, Yahli, 9 months old. She has parents with awesome professions, doctor and lawyer. But unfortunately, at the time she will register her college, she will see a different condition about a change in most of professions and jobs, machine will replace the jobs. In 1990 to 2010 machine starts to accommodate people jobs, such as sorting the letter by scanning the zip code or assessing the credit risks. It has been years the inventors try to conduct a research and invention to bring in a new and smarter machine. After couple years the sophisticated of machines go far more and result a high volume and frequent machine to replace human's task. For examples, reading million essay in a minute while a teacher read 10.000 millions for decades. Beside that other up-to-date machine that human cannot compare is diagnose million of eyes in a minute while the experts have a limit power to do that in a day. In next 20 years, machines will be greater and smarter which impossible to manpower to compete with. But, there are some occupations that even the best technology in the world cannot handle except human, for instance, tackle a novel situation, design a business strategy, do make a marketing campaign, and solve a problem. A machine cannot find a solution when a new problem comes up, it cannot create a strategy to attract the consumers or hold an event to do a campaign in front of public. So Anthony Goldbloom, suggest her niece to keep moving everyday and discovery the days, decide what she want to do and what she want to be without be afraid the machine will take all the opportunity she probably has.
rosadesiana   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Camille A.Brown represents people who love to dance [4]

Camille A. Brown, a choreographer, educator and performances talked for TED about dance, she represents the people who love to dance. Most of people think that dance is a physical activities which required to move the body which is mostly accompanies with musical instrumental such as guitar, drum or others. But the real meaning of dance is not only to have fun or move the legs and arms, for the dancers, especially African-American dancers, dance is a language, a way to show their freedom, express themselves, and move their bodies. In this occasion, Brown was focusing on social dance, she explained that social dance is an expression which emerges from a community that requires everyone to move. Each dance has steps that everyone can agree on, but it is not only about moving the body it is also about the creative identity. Some examples of social dances are twist, cakewalk, lindy hop, bee's knees and so on. People make a group and connection by shuffling, moving legs, paddling hands and slapping ties. Dance is performed to state the existence, to heal the soul, to free the body, to keep the cultural alive and to speak in a common language.
rosadesiana   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY TED 4 - HOW THE BRAIN PERFORMS UNDER STRESS [2]

Daniel Levitin, a speaker of TED talked about how the brain performs under stress. When someone is under pressure the brain emits a stress hormone called cortisol, increases the heart rate, and clouds the mind. The cortisol itself is a toxic for every system in the body, it shuts up all the systems, ruins the moods and also cuts the ability of rational logical thinking. A plenty of disadvantages appears when someone's cortisol climbed higher, if this conditions happen in a long term it will be the trigger of a numerous serious illness such as, type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure. However Levitin sure there are some methods can be applied to avoid this condition happens at the time someone faces problem or under stress circumstances. One of some modes that speaker shared is put system in place, which can decrease the bad thing happens such as forget to bring the wallet, cannot find the reading glasses, or lost the keys. Putting the system means designing spots for the little goods people usually lost, for example create the hangers close the enter door at home where we can put the keys to ease our brain remember we keep it.
rosadesiana   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / What happens within a procrastinator's brain and a rational decision maker's brain [4]

TED SUMMARY 4 - PROCRASTINATION by Tim Urban

A writer blogger became a speaker on TED VIDEO, he talked about what happens within a procrastinator's brain and a rational decision maker's brain, called Tim Urban, explained that there are two kinds of procrastinators in the world, those are someone who procrastinates something until the deadline times comes closer and someone who postpones something for a long time because there is no a deadline for the thing he is delayed in life. A large number of characteristics of a procrastinator can be clearly seen in his brain, such as enjoy a pastime, adore something easy and fun, do something unproductive, and has an instant gratification style. The procrastinators like to delay the assignment until the deadline time comes closer. On contrary, the rational decision maker always makes sense to be doing thing at the time, good in drawing his future in detail, able to visualize his long plan in the long run clearly, and always urge himself to complete a task before the time. Based on what Urban said that a non-procrastinator does not exist in the world, everybody is a procrastinator of something in life.
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Job interview just a piece of cake [2]

Hi Giansy
here are my suggestions

==> the answers (response) they should give of the questions (along the interview)
==> They think too hard (they overthink about) / the questions that have to be answered
==> some tips to prepare (be ready) before an interview
==> and when the interviewer gives (you a ) chance to ask (to propose)
it is better thanyou ask about yourthe job descriptions, avoid ==> to ask about salary, working hours holiday and the other benefits.

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of people, who want o leave Bulgaria according to their education rank around three years [2]

Hi Giansy
you have done a great job
please check my suggestions

first, it is much better to attach the picture (graph), to ease people who want to help you in comparing the graphs.The ==> Bulgarian people who want to go and live (move to ) in another country in 2002,

==>The given bar chart shows thea number of people,
==>According to the data, it is clear shownfrom the chartthat 2002 is the greatest number of people, that in 2012 is a the best year of a great number of people who ....

==>while two of categories rose in 2006.(i have difficulty to understand this point)

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / In 1981 butter was the most popular spread among others [2]

Hi fauziyahtami,
you have done a great job, here are my suggestions for you

==> The graph below showS
==>... about the consumption of 3(kind of ) spreads from ...
==>... butter was the most popular (here you need a noun)(the most popular spreads in 1981 ) of the three spreads in 1981.
==>Between 1981 untilto 1986, Butter consumption increased from around 140 to a peak 160 grams per year ( or you would say : from 140 grams and reached its peak at 160 grams).

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUMMARY TED 3 of Patti Dobrowolski - how to reach a dream [5]

SUMMARY TED 3

Patti Dobrowdski, a speaker of TED talked about how we can reach the best part of our lives. She believes that a picture can influence people to keep fighting and surviving to pursue everything they desire, to make it true. Draw a picture at our current condition and draw a picture at a place where we dream of, because a picture can cause a movement, can united nations, and feel to desire to do something. A picture is capable to activate our left brain which connected with the imagination, it activates the use of our right brain which connecting with feel of possibility and creativity. When someone draws a picture and he feels happy of the possibility to reach their goals, the brain emit serotonin which effects to the happiness, when someone feels the happiness they will absolutely believe to 3 most important thing of the part reaching a dream. They are see it, believe it and act on it.

Only 3 magic word can lead you to achieve the dreams that you designed and kept for long time.
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Artic snow dissolved are killing animals and will be caribou aground [2]

Hi PHA !
you have done a great job, here are some suggestions ..
keep writing !!

==> Continuingcontinous decrease of sea-ice shield is ...

==> ... possibly will be in sufferingsuffer condition

==> Researcher werehave calculated data on sea ...

==> The researcher collected previous data ....

keep writing !!
rosadesiana   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Try a lot of different things in a month by Mutt Cutts [2]

Hi PHA,
you have done a great job !
here are my suggestions

==> Matt Cutts shared which his experience after readinghe read a book ...
Matt, Technologist at Google talkedshared athe story of his ...

==> He told to audience that his livehas been changedchange after he ...

==> In lecture session, Matt shared(you could tell the story directly and not repeating the same point)

==> There are cycling to work , (i do not get what is the point) jogging a thousand per ...

Day by day, he spend time at cycling, hiking Kilimanjaro ...
Mutt wrote a novel more less fifty thousand ... (you are talking about the past so please use past tense only)

The last session, Mutt believeS that people have ...

keep writing !!
rosadesiana   
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 - in some countries, secondary schools aim to [3]

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow of subjects related to particular career. For today's world which system is appropriate?

Some schools create a curriculum in common style, required the students to learn all subjects simultaneously, whereas the other schools focus on few subjects which support the students to develop their abilities related to their specific career.

On the other hand, general schools set the pupils up to face any possibilities in the next era by forcing them to understand more subjects in a period, in order to have capability on facing the future. Learning a vary of subjects will help the pupils to have an open-minded and an extensive knowledge. Also, affected to the improvement of their skills, their abilities will be improved along the lessons mastered. A wide side or intelligence can be measured from how much he understood, and general education system in secondary school provided this system.

On the other hand, a narrow of subjects is adopted by another schools. It centers the students to improve the specific skills which support them to be an expert in the major leads to the specific career. Such as, students in culinary school in France which focus to the culinary subject only, since they were at secondary schools. It gives them a deep understanding and a high experiences theoretically and practically. This mode or study establish their readiness to face the real industry. And create a high-qualified-skilled expert which ready to compete the others. This kind of school create a fresh graduation with specific competences.

Finally, in my opinion, whether apply the general educations or narrow subjects, depend on the goals and future being arranged by the student. If in the long run he plans to be a Chef, then it will be suitable if he focuses on the subjects needed in culinary world. On the contrary, if the student has purposes to keep on his study to university. It is better to learn the general knowledge. But in this modern era, the system appropriate to today's world is focusing on narrow subjects and be ready to face the real adult world, industry.

In conclusion, both of the system appropriate to different concept and expected result. I totally agree to adjust the narrow subjects system to schools all over the world to provide specialized-fully-trained generations.
rosadesiana   
Sep 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: There are two factors entertainment editors that it should decide to advertise [2]

Hi PHA2016
you have done a good job here are my suggestions..

==> here are two factors o f entertainment editors

==> has divide (have divided) in two statements are capital and media

==> two statements those are capital and media interest

==>On the other hand I suggest the media would be better to produce(produce is not suitable in this sentence) a good report

==> TV also havehas(i think you have any problem in verb agreement) many advantages to spread information

==>However, nowadays, mass media such usas TV and newspaper are ideologist and capitalistic now(you explained at the first sentence already).

==>The editor cannot independentlybe independent because bossthe media has forced their freedom.

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / NEWS EDITORS SELECTED WHAT TO SHOW ON TELEVISION AND WHAT TO PRINT IN THE NEWS [3]

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions?
Do we become used to bad news and would it be better if more good news was reported?


A publication that is shown on TV and the article that is imprinted in newspaper has been through a decision making process by the news editors. A plenty of factors which highly possible to influence the decisions, such as the latest occurrence around the globe and a numbers of fascinating concept which attracts public consideration. I do not think if the good news will be reported more frequent than before will give any effects. Because bad news are the one which draw more attention from the audiences than good news.

The predominant factors which affect the decision making of the news editors are, firstly, a sophisticated event, the latest news will be the most awaited broadcast by the viewers. It is due to the curiosity of viewers about what is happening in the other place at that time. They would really like to know the details information to understand enough the truth and latest condition. Secondly, a potential, outstanding and not common idea or concept of a program or an article which is probably fascinating to be enjoyed. As the news editors learn the publicity and article proposed to them to be broadcast and print, they situate their selves as a viewer, if the article is exciting enough to be read and be watched at the first time, it can be the main factor to broadcast or print the idea.

It is a common state to read or watch a bad news in this modern day, but its purpose is to remind us that the world is becoming more danger and the condition itself is getting worse, and tell us what actually happen in the world, in order to be more aware to everything possibly happen. I think the good news is not necessary to be added.

To conclude, the news editors have some provisions to finally decide what should be broadcast on TV or imprint on newspapers. Such as, the up-to-date incident or the interesting concept which is estimated will attract the society's interests. The good news does not need to be added because most of people give a quickly response more to the bad news than the good news.
rosadesiana   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary 7: Hula Dancing in Hawaiian Culture [5]

Hi, erwiin
you have done a good job please check my suggestions..

Hawaii is a group of islands which be located in the Pacific Ocean

Hula Dance has been a part of Hawaiian culture

In fact, Hula Dance is an ancient tradition that it is impossible to say where or when it first appeared.which the research did not identified when it found.

keep wriitng !!
rosadesiana   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is our responsibility to the earth to solve the climate crisis [4]

NEW THINKING ON THE CLIMATE CRISIS

Based on what Al gore explained on the TED video about the climate crisis, it should be solve by us as a human, it is our responsibility to the earth. To rejuvenate the climate crisis, we basically have to be optimism that we can transform and resolve the damage of nature. To be optimism to our ability in handling this global conflict, we first have to be extremely active as a citizen. To confront the activities which lead to the increasing destruction of nature. As what military history has shown us that to accomplish 3 different major drawbacks a variety of allocations is needed, approaches, requires, and strategies. As well as military history, the climate crisis classified into different categories. First, about the local environment, the most frequently being discussed, include in air pollution, water pollution, and hazardous waste. Second, is Acid Rain which causes by the electricity generation, factories, and motor vehicles. The biggest impact of Acid Rain will be experienced by the acid sensitive animals and vegetation particularly aquatic animals as the PH declines. While the local environment effect to the weather all of kinds is getting to be extreme, frozen water on earth is melting, the oceans are getting hotter and so on. The climate crisis is a global strategic conflict which affected to everything around the globe. As a human, we should pay more attention to this matter, we need to be united and begin to put efforts to resolve the damage nature. As the most steps we have to do is to change our behavior to be more environmentally friendly in every single activity. The following steps are, people in the world should contribute to the certain steps to confront the climate crisis, such as, organize responses, worldwide global mobilization, global transition, efficiency, and renewable energy. Because it is an urgent action to save the earth, it shown of the data in last 28 years, the arctic polar ice declined dramatically almost a half of its area. In next 5 years, the arctic polar will be fully vanished if we, as human, do not change our intrinsic behavior which disrupt the earth especially the climate. In the US, 2005, carbon dioxide which has been released about 6,1 billion tones which equal with 1,2 billion elephants. Such disruptions are not only happen in developed country, the developing countries are following behind. It can be obviously seen that the use of emissions in 2000 in developing country was at the same level as the emission has been produced by developed country in 1965. The solution which Al gore suggested is to put a price on Carbon, which can help the poverty simultaneously. He was assured that as long as the people in the world are believe and constantly put their best efforts to change the world, start from changing their behavior, the earth will be saved.
rosadesiana   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Cars lead a sprawl of some areas, not only in urban places but also in rural and suburban range. [2]

Task 9 - Electric Cars Around the Globe

Cars lead a sprawl of some areas, not only in urban area but also in rural and suburban range. Highways have been developed to accommodate the cars to span the rivers and reached a long-distance locations. It was getting more crowded and the traffic jams were everywhere. In the early twentieth century electric cars were rolled off to the audience in North America. The innovative electric car rivaled the standard car, fueled by gases. The electric cars, quieter, cleaner, easier to start, electric-powered, were not booming at the time because a numerous of people enjoy more to drive the gas-powered car. On the other hand, the electric cars were more popular lately, especially in Europe and Asia. Which the people who chose this kind of vehicle were mostly the worker who stayed not so far from the line where they worked. The renown of the electric could have caused of proliferation of electric recharging station. At the time, all car manufacturers around the globe opted for market that famous vehicle, except in North America. North America did not impressed about the upsides of the electric car, the car were not so popular at the first time. But since the battery technology has been improved, North America manufacturer introduced a super electric car which had an equality with the best sport car. This gave hope to North America to embrace the latest car technology like the other countries around the world, because this high-technology car contributed and supported a plenty of advantages to the earth. Such as, reduced the exhaust and greenhouse gases and even utilized only one-fourth of parking lot.
rosadesiana   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / A growing number of people believe that money is an intrinsic factor to be happy [2]

Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Otherwise that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both of views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of people believe that money is an intrinsic factor to be happy, whereas others think that happiness created by other factors out of money. This essay will discuss both points of views.

With regard to the happiness created as the economic level reaches highest point, people believe that high economic is a basic rule to be happy for several reasons. Firstly, they think that money can grant all the wishes they have. They can easily owning the goods they really desire. Money can complete not only their necessity but also their urges. Secondly, prestige is obtainable by having a plenty of cashes, having a rich-looking and being among the high people. By showing one's prestige, people will point out their honor, therefore, someone's prestige will go up and give an inner satisfaction to the people.

However, i do not believe that pleasure is only real when you obtain all your eagerness. First reason is to love and be loved is an irreplaceable feeling that cannot be bought at store. To experience such feeling people should have an affection which can be merely learnt when they build a great relationship with others and socializing within a community, such feeling cannot be bought with dollars. Next reason is be healthy, to be in a fit condition and enjoy the life we stand for is such a boon. No matter how much money people have, it cannot heal and cure people at the time they are getting sick. Both money and gold, it provides you only the medicine and a room in hospital when your health is weaken. Last reason why money cannot present everything is having a life goal. To have a goal in life is not as easy as buy a pizza, a life goal is the reason why people work hard, study diligently, pray wholeheartedly, and run their lives vigorously. A target fuels the body to wake up every morning, to walk confidently and live their lives excitedly. Therefore, again, having a happiness life by owning an economic success is not an adequate argument.

To sum up, although some people argue that money is a straight tool to have the best thing in life, i would argue there is a couple of elements in a real life which prove that the best thing in life cannot be replaced by money.
rosadesiana   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / EXTREME ENVIRONMENT IN TAKLIMAKAN DESERT FOR PLANt LIFE (SUMMARY TASK 3) [2]

hi qara,
you have done a good job, here are my suggestions

become one of extreme desert on THE earth

Taklimakan desert havehas three plants forwhich thrive successfully the desert,

Populus eupharaticu,tamarix ramasissma and the alhagi sparsifolia, (you need a verb, like "live or grow")in the vegetation area with unique coping mechanisms

theirthey also help to protect their(the) ecosystem by stabilizing sand dunes,
rosadesiana   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ways of Bird Migration - it has fascinated many observers for centuries. [4]

hi qara,
here are my suggestions

Many tipes types and ways of animals forto migrate (to do migration) , but bird migration has fascinatedfascinate observers for centurie

ana various also most bird

Nocturnal migrants those specieswhich that travel at night

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A SMART BIRD - how he manages to fly without rotating parts - just by flapping his wings? [3]

hi bismillah,

The development of era is ... (in this modern era, technology has been upgraded)
Such as, A bird is very agile to fly does not with rotating component (what is the relation within technology and a bird)

to summarize an article, better to have an understanding of the text or the speech perfectly
keep trying !
rosadesiana   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary: Three Tips How to Boost Your Confidence by TED-Ed [2]

Hi, Iedha01
you have done a great job!
here are my suggestions

when we face with(or we are faced with) a tremendous challenge in life

there are three( three of plenty ) factors which affect our confidence

the next influence aspect is about your social interaction of the people in your surroundings(how you socialize with the people around you)

the last is the self-controlled, decision maker (making) and risk-taken refer to your confidence.

This animation video offers you three recommendationS

Firstly, you have to try quick(quickly) fix in your immediate confidence,

Firstly, you have to try quick fix in your immediate confidence,the second (better to use secondly to make a connection to the first world, firstly)

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The greatest and most crowded subways in the world are located in London, Paris, and Moscow. [6]

TASK 8 MAJOR SUBWAYS OF EUROPE

Subway is the most important requirement of a developed country. A successful country can be clearly seen by scanning the means of transportation, subway becomes a benchmark of how great is a country. The greatest and most crowded subway in the world is located in London, Paris and Moscow.

London has constructed the subway for the very first time in 1863 overtook by Paris and Moscow in 1900 and 1935. London has an unusual means to construct the railway called cut and cover, which means the road has been dug, the rail has been laid, tunnel has been built and the underground has been buried. At the first day the subway in London operated, 30,000 riders were transported. Subway was also an intrinsic mass transportation in Paris, to rival London, Paris has been erected a fully colorful architecture subway with shorter route but carried away numerous passenger everyday. The third biggest subway has built in Moscow which decorated with statuary, painting and mosaic. Subway has not been utilized only as a mass transportation but also as a military headquarters and a bomb citadel for the society when the World War II had happened.
rosadesiana   
Sep 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Before the construction began, the island had merely trees, and there was no any building [5]

WRITING TASK 5 - AN ISLAND BEFORE AND AFTER THE CONSTRUCTION

The map shows a development of an island, the first picture shows an island before construction while the second island shows the result after the construction. Overall, the change can be clearly shown from an array of accommodations and other facilities have been built almost around the island.

Before the construction began, the island had merely trees and there was no any building. Yet, the construction had led a critical improvement in the island. The accommodations have constructed at the left side of the map surrounding the trees, near the beach. The second accommodation area established at the center of the island close to the pier. Restaurant and reception developed within both of the accommodation areas. A pier placed up right in front of the reception and connected easily to the reception with vehicle track. The facilities are completed with the footpaths and vehicle tracks. On the other hand, the right side of the map is free of the constructions but the trees are still preserved.




rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary : The history of our world in 18 minutes [2]

Hi andika08
here are my suggestions

Universe can created(create = after modal we need verb inf)

but it isa difficult thing.

one of examples from

There was happened that world was darkest ...there was a time when a world was dark and empty.

After thatthe universe appeared
When the large star dissapeareddisappeared it gives effect forto the temperature decrease.

There had conditions dividedlife is divided into three elements for life ,

Water wasis the most important ...
... from Dna which containsthe informationof how to made living organism.

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / How to catch up the grit? A strong effort and high understanding is a key to reaching personal goals [2]

Hi ibal28
here are my suggestiosn

In this day and age, thea kind of job that ...
... speaker of TEDtalk video said as a teacher of a primary school saidthat a strong effort and high ...

To support those statements are not merely ...
(to support the statements, not only intelligence needed by the teachers, but also physical health, and IQ...) alternative sentence

It can be achieved by maint aining our mindset using with a strong effort.
Absolutely, we can't (do not) measure it off someone ...

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / The history of Circus started in ancient times already [3]

Hi MJT
here are my suggestions,

==>The circus is one of the oldest forms of entertainment in history.
==> There are two kinds of the circus,they arethat is modern and ancient circusboth of them are popular in this the world.
==> The ancient Romans were the(one who) enjoy the circus.
==> for public entertainment(they showed some talents) such as chariot races, gladiator fights, ....
==> ... venue for the circus performance that iswhich madeentirety of wood.
==> He performed to make people in England popular establishing( I do not get what you mean) Louis XV

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: The graph line shows which three sectors global water consumed during a century [2]

Hi PHA2016,
here are my suggestions,

==> The graph line shows which is three sectors of global water consumed during a century

==> AndThe table shows (...) using water in 2000 (the water use in 2 different country in 2000)

==> Over alloverall, the global consuming water ...

==> On the other hand, Brazil is watered large people ( I do not get what do you mean in this sentence) and land while Congo ...

==> In worldwide water(the water in worldwide) , farming sector had been increased dramatically three times since in year 1900

==> ... in two countries that the first , (shown that) Brazil (is the first country which)they had huge of number peoplea huge number of people that needed around ...

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / The 'peaceful' Pacific Ocean, however not without typhoons, earthquakes and hurricanes [2]

Hi ALMAJID06
here are my suggestions,

The pacific ocean is one of eartha part in the earth , which has a large body of the water which locate located in south of the equator and was called (name of the place) by (Ferdinand Magellan ), someone known as portuguese explorer ferdinand magellan who found a pacific peacefula peaceful pacific (peaceful ocean) and

he beginsbegan his journey from the Straits of Magellan to the Philippines.

It is not appropriate it's name " the island of the "peaceful ocean" ...
==> the name itself does not give any sense based on what kind of catastrophe, such as typhoons ......

... border with ocean peaceful such as japan, china and tasmanJapan, China and Tasman ....

keep writing !!
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Water usage by the society in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo in 3 different sectors [3]

The line graph illustrates the amount of water use by 3 different sectors within 1900 up to 2000. While the table shows the sum of water which consumed by the society in Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo in 2000. Units are measured in cubic meters. Overall, there was an increase of water used in domestic sector but there were more increases in Agriculture sector. Furthermore, Brazil consumed more water than Democratic Republic of Congo in 2000.

In 1900, domestic sector used just under 100 m3 and remained steady until 1940 before climbed slightly to just under 400m3 in 2000. On the contrary, agriculture sector rose dramatically from 500m3 in 1900 up to 1500m3 in 1960 before boomed to 3000m3 in 2000. While industrial sector used around 100m3 in the first year and stayed constant until 1940, where it started to climb steadily in 1960 to just under 400m3 and reached its peak at 1200m3 in 2000.

The Brazilian consumed water almost 35 times more than the Congo community, it reached 359m3 per person with 176 million population, while Congo used only 8m3 per person within 5,2 million population. However, it showed the proportional with the wide of the land used for irrigation by Brazil. Where Brazil used 26 times irrigated land as higher as Congo, its land was 26,500km2.




rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Logging effects: habittat loss, environment pollution, and climate change [7]

hi Miss Qara

==>Impacts of logging industry makecause the effect untold harmharm untold effect to the environment includes habittat loss

==> one example of the bad effect is pollution to the environment includeswhich causes habittat loss

==>In terrestrial life fromform , an a trees in the rainforest relies on a dense Canopi...

==> ... by intercepting heavy rainfall also, stabilize the soil andstabilizing , help prevent preventing erosion of dammage logging ...

keep writing !
rosadesiana   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Athletes are obliged to train their skills and focus not only to the muscles or body movements [4]

TASK 4 -PERIPHERAL VISION IN SPORTS (SUMMARY)

Athletes were obligated to train their skills and focus not only to the muscles or body movements but also to the rapidity and accuracy visual. The rapidity and accuracy visual is an imperative activity needed to support the performance which completely formed when the lighting is adequate, the uniform designed with uncomplicated color, and minimize the motions happen out of the court. This kind of visual commonly called as peripheral vision, which is an area looks indistinct at the time we focus to a point. The athletes should be able to focus to a point and scan the peripheral vision in court area simultaneously. Even a blinking action interfere the athlete's focus especially when they are getting anxious, because it creates more than 25 blinks per minute.
rosadesiana   
Sep 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of energy which is produced in one decade, within 1995-2005 [2]

WRITING TASK 3 - comparison of energy production

The pie charts show the proportion of energy which is produced in 1 decade, within 1995-2005. Overall, the significant increase showed by Nuclear and other energies, and the small amount of percentage presented by gas and coal, while the petro showed a sharply decrease.

Firstly let us look the increases of energy produced in 1995 and 2005. It is noticeable that most of the energy production lifted up. The coal increased 1,13 percent where the gas production increased only 0,68 percent. The highest production increase was Nuclear, where during 10 years it had 3,8 percent. Other energy showed also the 4,2 percent increased. Turning now to the decreased, the one and only energy production which went down in 2005 was petro. It showed specifically lessen approximately almost one in tenth.

Increasing level of energy production reached by others otherwise the decreasing level got by petro. Most of energy production had been increased within 10 years.





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