Scholarship / Write the personal statement based on your lesson learned during an extra-academic activity [3]

This is an incomplete personal statement. Unless otherwise specified, this should have at least 250 words. There is no complete prompt to help she analyze the writing properly either. It appears this is all incomplete draft that fails to provide the implied necessary requirements. The essay lacks a developed focus on whatever the topic is supposed to be. Without a complete draft, it is impossible to review and advice on the needed presentation improvements. The essay is currently too shallow and does not inform the reader as needed. There are too many presentation gaps. Try to expand on your overall presentation if you can. Make it more informative than it is now.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: the governments should avoid wasting money on funding arts [2]


Presenting your 2 reasons in support of your opinion will serve as a score boost in the preliminary scoring stage. Do not waste the opportunity by simply presenting an empty thesis statement. Your logic and topic understanding in that sentence can help you get a higher overall score. Make sure every sentence used will move the essay forward with an intelligent discussion each time.

Good job in refuting a positive perception in the second paragraph. You have shown a strong skill when it comes to presenting a cohesive and coherent discussion. This followed through in the next paragraph. However, the 3rd paragraph would have scored better with a fully developed Vietnam based discussion. The Botswana discussion was weak and hindered the discussion progress.

For a better summary conclusion score, please use at least 40 words next time.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 1] MAP ABOUT ROAD ACCESS - give me some useful advice to improve my essay [2]


You misunderstood. The comparison does not cover successive years. These are 2 individual year changes. The reference comparison points should indicate the 2 years seperately.

The discussion paragraphs should therefore be presented by year. Discuss the original image from 2007, with specific mention of the year for image reference clarity. You may indicate which areas will be undergoing changes, without specific mention of how yet. That may be the focus of the 2010 paragraph instead.

It appears that you tend to use less analysis of the first image at all times. This lessened analysis also happened in your previous presentation. Aim for a balanced analysis for your C + C score benefit.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 1] MAP ABOUT A UNIVERSITY'S SPORTS CENTRE [7]


When you indicate a change in the gym size, a change is made to the existing facility. The statement should therefore indicate a minimal change to the orginal rather than no changes. There will always be a degree of change in the comparative images. Nothing will remain unchanged. This is standard for all Task 1 comparative images. Focus on finding and comparing the changes no matter how minimal.

The analysis is pretty much on point but too summarized for the second paragraph. Try to balance the report sections with at least 3 sentences each. Since the gym is to be changed in shape and size, it should be a highlighted sentence in the paragraph.

Undergraduate / My gap year essay - Pandemic, work, struggles and social service. [2]

The essay is very wordy and definitely set out to impress. . The problem is, beyond bragging eights, you have not justified any personal development, evidence of effective self-learning, or actual social service. Try to be personal interms of discussion. Focus on proving your development within the lock-down bubble. Talk a bit about how the lock down affected you and how you dealt with it. Indicate how the piano and enhancing those skills helped you mentally release from stress. The same for the community service. Right now. you are holding information back, creating an empty discussion.The reviewer does not gain substantial information from this presentation. Share what you are comfortable sharing about your gap year experience.

Writing Feedback / Students should study the science of food or learning important subjects? Discuss [2]


A properly structured restatement + opinion paragraph does not need to repeat the discussion instruction. Rather, it will provide a direct response in accordance with the 3rd requirement of the presentation, your personal opinion. You already indicated that both views will be discussed when you restated both sides of the discussion. So all that is left to comply with the task accuracy section is the statement of your opinion. You lose points when you do not directly address the prompt discussion requirements.


Since you used the 3 paragraph format for this discussion, as you did not agree or disagree immediately with the public opinion, this statement must have been presented as the 3rd paragraph of the discussion. It must contain the same fully developed explanation as you presented with the public opinion to properly explain how you developed your supported side. It is not given a score when made a part of the concluding summary. The concluding summary is a recap of the 3 discussion paragraphs. It does not recieve a score when it contains a new topic that requires further discussion development such as, your personal opinion.

Writing Feedback / My short essay about against banning smartphones in public [2]


You cannot refer to the regular usage of an item as a common phenomenon because those are 2 contrasting word meanings:

Common - widespread, general, or universal
Phenomenon - an occurence of an extraordinary observable nature

So, if the usage of mobile phones are considered common, it cannot be considered a phenomena. Kindly check the word meaning against the way you want to use it next time. Make sure the words you use in combination refer to the same or improved meaning of the idea you wish to convey.


This is a private act, not a public act. If one is driving a vehicle as in a private car, then the reference is incorrect. If one is driving a taxi, bus, or specified form of public transport then it is a public action. There is again, a problem with the way the writer references the words. He shows a lack of word meaning and inability to properly use the word references.

Let us put is this way, the writer has the right ideas, but is unable to properly form word and sentence structures to convey what he wishes to say. Language development exercises with regards to grammar structure are in order. The essay has the correct meaning but fails to deliver properly when it comes to GRA requirements.

Writing Feedback / My gap year to overcome series of struggles [3]



These do not refer to activities that you participated in during your gap year. The gap year references any and all activities you participated in after graduation but before enrolling in the next academic year. You should discuss activities during the academic year where you were not enrolled. The problem, is that there is a delicate topic that occurred during the off year. If you do not feel comfortable discussing it, then do not refer to it at all. Develop the way you spent a year in lock-down instract You will not be faulted for it.


Did this happen during the gap year? If it did, then this alone will make for an excellent singular focus for your narration.

Writing Feedback / Environmental protection. Are the reason and solution in my essay sounds reasonable and logical? [2]

The prompt restatement + question response paragraph is excellently done in this presentation. It is highly creative and shows a strong control over sentence development, clear thought development, even as the vocabulary is a bit exaggerated and used out of meaning. The examiner will score the effort in word usage though. It would be better to use simpler word references next time though. just to avoid exaggerations that tend to alter the presentation focus.


There is no need to reference a sentence position wwhen it is still located in the same paragraph. This is an unnecessary discussion reference.


Try the term "agressive government programs" next time. It will be easier understood by the reader.

Writing Feedback / The bar chart below shows transport preferences among young people in 4 countries in a single year. [3]

Where a single image is presented for review, this automatically uses a 3 paragraph format. This is due to the brief number of reporting possibilities from the image. A 4 paragraph presentation is used when 2 or more images are present. Each paragraph needs to have 3 sentences at least. The report format is off for this report. A single sentence is definitely not representative of a paragraph. It is the overstretchinof information to incorrectly create 4 paragraphs that resulted in an improperly focused report presentation. Only the last paragraph in this presentation meets the necessary paragraph requirements. Focus on proper formatting next time rather than discussion stretching for the wrong reasons.

Writing Feedback / The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spending [2]


How many line graphs are involved? Does each graph represent a different data set? How are these identified? The summary overview lacks clarity and proper information separation. Consider using a more detailed and individualized summary next time.


That resulted in what? The sentence structure is jumbled, resulting in a confusing reference. When presenting a trend, do not overcomplicate things. One trending reference is enough. The other trend can be part of a report paragraph instead. It will help you avoid creating confusing sentence structures such as this one.

For the number of charts, you mentioned a "first" chart . So there are several other images? What happened to the other numerical ordinals? The paragraph further adds to the confusion of the paragraph content.

Writing Feedback / The issue: there is not enough place for wild animals to survive in this era [2]


Since you are now expressing your response opinion, this thought needs to stand out. Make this a stand-out statement by presenting it as a seperate thought. Use a new sentence instead of a combined thought presentation.


Since you already provided the reason for your , in the response sentence, you need not say that you will explain your reasons. It is the thes is statement that is scored for accuracy, not the repeated instruction sentence.


The word "lots" is more of an English informal word. For academic writing use more professional equivalent words such as several, numerous, and marked. These words carry the same meaning as "lots" but within a more refined writing context.


2 errors in this presentation:
- Destroy should be presented in an active present voice (destroyed) since the action is still currently active.
- Grammar problem. Just as I mentioned earlier, 2 sentences need to be used. One for each idea. A comma should not be used in place of a period. More sentence structure exercises should help you clarify when a comma or period should be used in a sentence.


- Do not mix past and present sentence structures. When something is ongoing, use current action references. Better tense usage skills need to be developed.

Sentence structure enors are repeated throughout the essay. The GRA score will be disappointing.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - problems and solutions of the expansion of the internet [2]


While repeating the discussion points shows your ability to restate the instructions / questions, it does not reflect your ability to use short form, topic references in direct response to the questions The direct answers are scored in a major way in relation to task accuracy.



These sentences are nothing more than non - scoring word fillers. By starting with a topic sentence, the C + C score is boosted as the discussion point is made clear at the start of the paragraph.


As you are presenting a seperate topic, use a new sentence presentation instead. That will help you meet the minimum 2 sentence summary requirement and create a clearer summary presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 essay on homeschooling pros and cons [3]


Complete the sentence to offer an accurate response to the question provided. The thesis statement is incomplete. Do not spend too much time and word count on the restatement and opinion presentation. Go directly to your opinion and make sure the accurate response is given.


Do not over discuss. Use a comparative analysis per reason instead of per paragraph.That way the discussion stays within the written debate requirements. Debunk each negative as a positive to allow for better response format compliance.


This is should have been fully stated at the start as well. The restated topic is presented twice per discussion. At the start and at the end asa reminder to the reader.

Writing Feedback / The effects of colour on people. [2]

Please be conscious of the writing time allotment when writing the essay. It is necessary fen you to use a timer at the start of your excercises to figure out exactly how many words you can with, review, and edit within 40 minutes. You should find that when real time sets in, you cannot write almost 400 words. The safety target for the word count is exactly 300 words.


When writing the response statement to the true or false question, refer to the given keyword for task compliance scoring. These quotes are the r sentences where you could have inserted the keyword response. Yes, your response implies the keyword. Using the actual keyword is a score boost though as it clearly responds to the question.


There is no response given in compliance with the second discussion question which is: "How far do colours influence people's health and capacity for work?" Your given answer is not relevant to the question. It does not meet the prompt requirement in terms of direct question responses.

The provided discussion does not address the provided points regarding the effects of color. The writer took a different approach that resulted in a prompt alteration, leading to a failing task score.

Writing Feedback / Causes and solutions that people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films [2]


There is no need to declare a truth in this matter. The topic is merely for discussion purposes and not subject to a debate. A simple restatement, without exaggerated references such as these will do. An academic tone will be better achieved without it.


Are you saying that there are no reasons for the discussion? In which case this paragraph will have failed to deliver a clear opinion statement and reasoning line. Where there is no clear opinion and thesis statement, the paragraph will have neglected to meet opinion clarity and response format directions.


This is a mere repetition of the topic restatement. That must be done only twice. Once in the restatement paragraph and the other in the recap. It does not need to be done in the reasoning and discussion paragraphs.

The discussion paragraphs are acceptable and deliver clear explanations. However, the s punctuation marks that help deliver thought clarity are feuer and far between, showing a lack of sentence structure knowledge. There are also a feW misused words in the presentation, but none that would result in too much of word usage and grammar usage score deduction.

The conclusion lacks a topic reference but that can be deduced from the information presentation. It would do you score well to include that next time as a reverse paraphrase inclusion.

Scholarship / The importance of storytelling for influencing and leading people - Chevening leadership essay [2]

The focus of this essay is on the emerging leadership and influencing capabilities of the applicant. However, the first half of the essay does not properly deliver thebl 2 ideas. Only paragraphs 4 and 5 show the potential of the applicant. The problem is that the discussion presentations lack a fully developed explanation of leadership as a team manager and influencing as an independent film maker. Seeing as how these are the 2 most illustrative sections of the current presentation, it would be in the applicant's interest to develop a 2nd version of his response. One that will completely explain the development of his leadership and influencing traits based on these experiences.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1- Summarize the information about the process by which bricks are manufactured. [4]

While the writer must be commended for his writing efforts, it must be pointed out that his process explanation does not meet the task 1 minimum writing standards. This description fell short of the following basic specifications:

- The total word count must be 150 words or more, but never more than 200 words
- The procedure must be summarized in one paragraph, then explained over 2 more paragraphs (3 paragraphs in total )

Inability to deliver the starling requirements will result in early score deductions. When early deductions are applied, the essay normally does not achieve a passing score when the points are totalled.

The writer has an understanding of the process but, cannot express himself in a properly written English sentence. Aside from the formatting error, there are mistakes in word usage and tense references, both of which deliver a great GRA deduction as well. It is difficult to envision this presentation as a high assessment writing piece.

Writing Feedback / Healthy lifestyle in cities and countryside [2]


It is not only your opinion on the discussion topic that is needed to complete your opinion statement. The need to answer via "To what extent do you agree or disagree ?" must be represented before anything else. A combined response would work in this case. A combined response would be presented like:

Due to a personal preference, I still STRONGLY hold the view that...

The highlighted word is the " extent" response needed by the prompt question. Such a combined thought statement creates a highly responsive presentation and recieves a better accuracy consideration. The reason for the opinion is clear, it is the expected response that was not

provided creating an incomplete response in the process.



Please remember that an extent essay is a single opinion defense writing test. it is not the task of the writer to convince the reader that lboth sides have a good reason to be believed. Rather, the paper must convince the reader, using at least 2 valid reasons, that your opinion is the correct one and must be believed. Only the opinion defense paragraph will be considered for scoring. The presentation is weak and incomplete due to the lack of supporting discussion points.


This is written as one word to deliver the meaning you want to convey.

Undergraduate / Solving puzzles in my life - Personal Narrative essay on an accomplishment, event, or realization [2]

The actual discussion focus does not match the prompt. since you have placed so much effort into the development of this essay, you should consider changing the prompt instead. There are actually 2 prompts that you can choose from:

- Reflect on a time ...
- Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. ...

These are the questions you can choose from in relation to the sexual assault discussion. For your hobby presented at the beginning. I believe that can be developed as a seperate essay based on the following discussion:

- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging ...

Lastly, if you don't want to use any of these options, you can choose to create a unique prompt and inform the reviewer about it based on the following qualification:

- Share an essay on any topic of your choice.

These are your options based on the content of your writing. Pick one and adjust your writing accordingly.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2, televised talent shows is good method for finding talented people? [2]


Use a more convincing phrase. something that reflects a clear opinion on your part. This sentence is confusing because at the end you said:


Did you mean to say that you are certain about your opinion? Or, not? The task score is reliant on the way that you deliver your opinion with a sense of belief and proper support for your supported opinion. The lack of opinion clarity is what creates a problem in your prompt restatement + opinion presentation.


Why do Vietnamese students consistently insist on using a comma and ellipses simultaneously? This is the most common and irritating grammar and punctuation usage error of these students collectively. It is also the most common GRA scoredown cause that examiners apply. You are all being taught improper punctuation usage in the English language by your schools. Use one punctuation mark at a time. That is the unbreakable English punctuation rule. One at atime, never successively. The sentence loses all logic in terms of idea presentation, emotions, and thought clarity. The reader never knows what a Vietnamese student is trying to say when these successive punctuation marks are used. This is a GRA fail.


Human what? The thought presentation is incomplete. Learn to think and write in English, with a proper subject - verb agreement at all times.


Did you mean, "In conclusion"? The student has serious grammar and vocabulary problems that will definitely cause him to fail the test.

Writing Feedback / The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age [2]


Wrong image reference. Even without seeing the actual image I know that a diagram was not presented. Why? The information provided are ratio measurements.These are always presented in one of 2 forms:

- A comparative line chart
- A bargraph series

A diagram is used only for procedural discussions. Is the presentation summary accurate then? No. The wrong image identifier immediately makes this task summary inaccurate. The summary is also difficult to follow and recall.That is because of the compressed data presentation per sentence. Please remember that a clear sentence contains one idea per presentation. This is a weak summary overview.



At what rate? This reference is not clear. The wording is inaccurate once again.As a report, always use the factual measurements to meet the C + C requirements.

Scholarship / THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING INFLUENCIAL IN COMMUNITY WORK [2]

If you meant to use this essay for the Chevening scholarship then, you made a mistake in writing this statement. The essay calls for a combined show of leadership and influencing development. It is not to be responded to in a biographical format focusing on your backstory as it relates to your desire to help other women in your country. Yes, there is an influential reference in the last paragraph. It is highly vague but can be seen upon further review. That is half the task accomplished. Without a leadership reference, the essay is unacceptable and will not be considered It will remove your application from consideration. I urge you to write a less biographical and more prompt compliant version if you are serious about your application.

Essays / GKS SCHOLARSHIP PREPARATIONS - what to write, how long? [4]

When considering your motivations consider 3 aspects:
- Why studying abroad in general is a good fit for you
' What academic reasons led you to choose Korea as your study destination (in relation to Korean culture exposure)
- How this decision lends itself to the future you envision for yourself

These must be presented over 3 paragraphs. These are important in the written interview so expand your reasoning as best as you can. Avoid any and all K-Pop, Hallyu, anime, cosplay, or language learning reasons for choosing Korea. Use inspired reasons such as the accomplishments of Korea in the field, a notable Korean person ( non- celebrity) or business (Samsung, LG) , or entertainment network as reference for a person or event that inspired you.

Make sure you draft your essay in bullet form first. That way you don't miss any writing aspects and can better review your response for relevance to the prompt.

Writing Feedback / Cambridge IELTS Academic - Test 1 - Writting Task 2 - Owning a home rather than renting one [3]


It is not a controversial topic. It is, as per the orginal presentation, an important one. The writer chose the wrong synonym to use lbased on word meaning. Please note the difference:

Important - of much or great significance or consequence
controversy - a prolonged public dispute, debate, or contention; disputation concerning a matter of opinion.

The keyword in the prompt is "important". so the alternate pleases that carry the same reference /meaning are; "essential consideration" , " critical need", or, " pressing matter ". alternate words of the same or similar meaning must be used to avoid altering the thought presentation or reasoning behind the original topic. There is no matter of ( presented but a fact for most countries There are no opposing views present in the ouginal, which could be the basis of controversy. The writer misunderstood the topic.


As you are graded on the clarity of your opinion, this phrase shows an undecided way of thinking, resulting in an uncleon opinion. This is not a comparison essay. neither is it an extent essay. Had it been one of the 2 aforementioned discussion types ,then your response would have been acceptable. The response format is improper. The initial presentation fell short of the correct discussion requirements. This makes it difficult to get a passing score even if minimal scores are awarded throughout.

Research Papers / The effect of college debt on the future life choices of students [2]

The paper definitely needs professional editing and proof-reading. Most paragraphs require a content clean-up that is not covered by the free. editing service. You can contact us privately regarding that. Before you do that though, you first need to address the problem with your in-text citations, paraphrased information, and paper writing style. No academic opinion or research paper is complete without properly referenced sources. Failure to address the original source material could result in academic plagiarism accusations. You most certainly want to avoid any possibility of academic dishonesty. So firs the reference and paper format situation, then, have the paper professionally edited. The content is not the problem, the format and reference problems are.

Scholarship / The capacity and the will to rally people - Leadership and Influence Essay - CHEVENING [3]

There is no leadership ability portrayed in this essay. You only made a series of suggestions that were well recieved, but developed and implemented by others. Yes, this could be considered an influencing skill to the point that you have to explain yourself to your superior. However, successful explanations, without your direct participation as a project or team leader only makes you a notable participant and eager employee. Remember, you did not implement the idea so there is no assurance that improvements and changes to your ideas were made and collectively implemented. so this is not direct leaduship evidence.

The essay lacks in thought clarity and barely manages to coherently explain itself. consider hiring a professional editor after writing the next, totally new version of this essay. Perhaps the problem is just a language barrier, or not? Whatever the language problem, firing it will only help your application.

Graduate / My passion for improving health and well-being. SOP FOR GLOBAL PUBLIC HEALTH [2]

This comes across.more as a cover or motivational letter. It does not contain the correct focus on the purpose for the studies. The content is only a summary of information pertaining to your background. This cannot be used as a proper statement of purpose. A more appropriate SOP must be developed.

This time, focus on your academic accomplishment or accomplishments that will prove your ability to be a stellar student in this course. What is the connection of Optometry to Global Public Health? How does the latter integrate itself into your previous course? How does the integration lend itself to your future career plans and national health management? How will the integration work?

Writing Feedback / The line graph shows the percentage of money used for food, leisure, clothing, transport, and fuel [4]

Automatic failing grade.The mere fact that the essay contains 120/150 words and does not follow the paragraph formation requirement of a Task 1 essay ensures the failing score. This will be so even with scores assigned to the vocabulary and grammar sections. A passing score cannot be awarded for the C + C section since the image is evidently under analyzed and little discussed in the report.

An expanded presentation composed of 3 paragraphs is necessary for proper scoring. The exam taker was in a hurry to report on obvious data. He neglected to complete a proper analysis and comparison in the process. There should be 3 sentences per paragraph. The writer must review the content and formatting requirements for this task before his next practice session.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Nowadays, families are not as close as they used to be. Causes and Solutions? [5]


As this is not referenced in the original presentation, it should not be discussed in the restatement. This is a topic alteration that lowers the accuracy of restatement score.


You are not answering the questions. The discussion outline based on qquestion responses are missing. This paragraph does not have any questions response outline as needed to prove your logical understanding of the discussion requirements. An accurate response is needed for a proper score to be applied.


Spelling error. Proofread and correct these to avoid vocabulary and grammar deductions.


Academic writing violation. Grammar rules dictate that " and" as a conjunction should never be used to start a sentence. This is because conjunctions are used as thought and idea connectors in a sentence.

Scholarship / Running a business - LEADERSHIP OR INFLUENCER SKILLS [2]


What exactly is a deal maker department? That is not a part of a normal business heirarchy. Did you mean to refer to the marketing or sales department? Please use proper terminology and business references so as not to confuse the reviewer.

Sadly, your essay is not developed enough to portray leadership skills of the local or national kind. You also failed to present any influencing abilities even on a social media level. There is nothing in the essay that portrays you as an emerging leader and influencer in the eyes of the reviewer. The experiences are not of the competitive kind either. This essay simply highlights that you are not a suitable chevening Scholarship candidate. I sincerely doubt that you have the type of national leadership and influencing skills the program is looking for.

Scholarship / Three study course in UK for renewable energy - CHEVENING [3]

Techmcally, you donot have a strong background, you only have A BACKGROUND. The strong background can only He proven by your grades asan undergraduate in courses relevant to you chosen masters course. There are always 2 evidences that need to be presented in each course, the academic and professional experiences and learning that have prepared you to attend and successfully complete there courses. Any evidences in reference to these cannot be read about in your explanations. Future applications aside, the explanations all lack substance in relation to the required justifications. The reviewer will appreciate being informed about these to help him fully consider the relevance your response to your application.

Writing Feedback / International tourism is a bad thing for some countries. Reasons and solutions. [5]


Word choice error. Owning refers to possessing something. Owing, the proper word to use, refers to a cause or causes as in "because of" or "due to". The student has a problem with homophones that must recieve immediate attention to avoid the same error going forward. These sorts of word mistakes have serious negative word and grammar scoring issues.


Please provide a discussion topic response for each question next time to help you meet the discussion clarity requirements of the task. A summarized discussion at this point with the overall score.


Incomplete sentence presentation. Opening the sentence with "While " indicates a reason or result of actions will be presented. There was no results presentation so this will confuse the reader due to the lack of reference clarity.

Scholarship / Chevening Leadership Essay - Theo from Indonesia [2]

This is an excellent reference to your abilities as a researcher and research scientist. It fails to explain any leadership and influencing role though. The reviewers will look for evidences of teamwork, problem resolution, and leadership talent. none of which are present at the moment due to the solitary nature of your presentation. You mistakenly excluded your development as a leader, if you had any such experiences.

It would be in your best interest to come up with a new essay with a refocused discussion. Remember that you are not writing your work biography. You are trying to convince the renever that you are an upcoming leader and influencer in your country. That is whythis essay does not work.

Undergraduate / Hardworking - My UBC Personal profile- Tell us about who you are. [2]


I believe that this section should be the main focus of the section because it implies a type of preparedness for college. Incorporate your humor into thenew focus instead. The humor part is nice to know, but does not illustrate how you may function as a college student. The humor can be inserted in the


reference.


Wow! Too much negative sentiment in this presentation. It also implies a rejection of authority,which could prove to be a problem as a dorm resident or class situation later on. This is not something that the reviewer will readily accept. It would be better to avoid this reference. Find another relationship with them to refer to.


Avoid implications of rebelliousness. Reframe the presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. Cause&solution? [2]

There are specific discussion net up being asked. Why did you not offer the quick topis responses that would have helped to establish the discussion accuracy requirement? The task 2 essays always require direct responses or opinion statements in the first paragraph. You must never repeat the discussion requirements because those are non-scorable and are in fact, score lowering presentations . There are only 2 ways to address the Task 2 establishing discussions:

- Restatement + opinion ( Agree or disagree question)
- Restatement + direct responses (Direct questions)


This is where the actual response begins. Try to open with topic sentences per paragraph. Restate your question responses to indicate the paragraph topic. This shows more of your ability to keep the presentation in line with the questions provided.

Scholarship / if the aim of science is not to open the door to infinite wisdom ? - Career Plan Essay Chevening [7]

You are not relating your course and university choices with your academic background. Every course choice must have a corresponding undergraduate course foundation on your end. Mere fascination or a description of the course curriculum will not be enough to convince the revieever that you are qualified enough to complete any of the chosen courses.

Please indicate if you already have an admissions offer or invitation to indicate your first choice university. If there is none, then you need not classify your university choices.

Frankly speaking, your motivation for studying any of these courses does not exist on a professional level. Job applicability should follow the undergraduate qualifier.

Writing Feedback / Fatherhood and motherhood roles continue a controversial topic in the days and ages [2]

The essay automatically garners severe word count penalties for containing only 180 words when the minimum is 250. This indicates the nability of the examinee to carryon a lengthy academic conversation in written form. Perhaps this was caused by limited English vocabulary. Perhaps, he was unfamiliar with the standard 4 paragraph writing format (This only has 3 paragraphs). Whatever the reason, an effort to present an extended discussion in written form is necessary.


There are only 2 applicable prompts for this topic:
- What is your opinion?
- To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The writer is not using either of the standard prompts. It appears that he either:
- Misunderstood the prompt
- Created his own prompt by accident

Either reason will be enough to fail the test based on an inaccurate response. It can therefore be.said, that there are several major reasons this essay is not going to help the test-taker pass the test.

Writing Feedback / The line graph compares the daily travel of commuters using three different ways of transport [3]

There will be a word percentage deduction applied to the preliminary score for presenting only 142 out of the mandatory 150 word minimum. Though not a large deduction, it may still be enough to prevent a passing consideration based on other errors present in the report. By ensuring that the presentation has 150 words at all times , the preliminary deductions can be avoided. Word count deductions often result in failing reports.

The main reason why the writer failed to meet the word count is due to the brief writing style used. There is no accurate analysis of the image information beyond the I sentence ppresentation. Adding another sentence, creating the standard 3 sentence paragraph for the Task 1essay can solve the issue and result in a passing score.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 OPINION: GM FOODS OFFER A VIABLE SOLUTION TO FEEDING LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE. [2]

The essay does not follow the 2 discussion parameters required. These writing criteria are:
- To what extent do you agree or disagree
- Discuss based on personal experience, knowledge, or public information

The primary scoring consideration is based upon how well the exam taker understood the discussion question and, if he provided an appropriate opinion statement. While the student appears to have understood the topic, he did not:

- Present an accurate restatement
- Provide a response according to the stated discussion manner

Failure to provide these have resulted in a non- passing presentation. Additional deductions will apply in the grammar structure section as the writer showed unfamiliarity with English writing rules by using 2 successive punctuation marks in a sentence:


. Creating nonsensical writing and causing confusion for the reader. The appearance of the shorcut word " etc." is also further evidence of the writers little knowledge of academic writing rules.

While there are other reasons this essay will not pass, these are the major failings that will cause it.