Undergraduate / Tell us about any hobby you are passionate about and why you think it's important. UWC essay. [4]


Since the focus of the essay is on table tennis, this menor mention is not needed. It is an unnecessary discussion deviation that will only confuse the reviewer.


Merge this with the first paragraph.This must be included there as this contains the character discussion push of the essay.

The essay focuses on the importance of your successes as a player. Try to develop the character building aspect. How did the losses make you a better person? Yes, the loss aspect should be discussed. In fact, it is a more noteworthy presentation than the success. The character of a person is generally strengthened by loss through humility, lessosas learned, and character adjustment based upon how loss is handled.

Scholarship / Building my networking through join into the community for Chevening application [3]

A Chevening Networking essay is focused on highlighting an expanded work assistance channel based on training and seminars attended. These may be local, international, virtual or physical. The idea is to prove that you have an existing web of professional connections that can prove to be helpful to the scholars and alumna of the foundation. It is not about a tiny group useful only to your workplace. Remember that one of the networking qualifiers is an explanation of how you will share the network with Chevening. If this is the only networking qualifier you can present, then your application may not move to stage I based on this shortcoming. If you do not have a competitive network to present, then you will find it difficult to revise the presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing academic about divorce; spikes in break-ups and divorces [2]

The prompt restatement is acceptable. The opinion part though, is not represented at all since there are no direct question responses provided. The discussion outline does not have a clear direction as required by the questions provided.


There is no need to repeat this information. It does not work as a proper topic sentence since it only repeats the last line of the previous paragraph. The first sentence of the reasoning paragraph must indicate the topic or subject of the paragraph immediately.

The solutions presented do not solidly relate to the previously stated problems. The solutions must always be developed based on the previously stated reasons.

A concluding summary must have 2 sentences comprised of 40 words minimum. This presentation does not present an effective discussion recap.

Scholarship / "Behind every good business is a great accountant" Personal Statement GKS Accounting [2]


Delete this whole section. Wikipedia and other websites do not factor in as authoritative socuce of motivation for study. In fact, this section sounds more like you are presenting a GKS masearch paper rather than applying for a scholarship.


You and every other applicant will be using this reason. It is not unique. Remove its mention since it is not a standout motivating reason.

The last part of the essay is unfocused. While these information might be considered, it does not flow well in the presentation. Refer to the prompt requirements. Notice the chronological discussion presentation? Follow it. Present the essay as outlined in the list. That should make it more comprehensive in your presentation.

Scholarship / 'born with full of differences' - GKS Personal Statement - Undergraduate - Business Administration [2]

[quote=Minhtu]That is the reason...impacts on society.[/quote]
This line does not relate to the previous presentation. It appears to be an insertion in the paragraph. It overly dramatic, without a relatable point in the paragraph. You may still use this line in a more relatable paragraph later on.


Regardless, an obstacle must still be presented. You may use your differences with your family members in reference to this discussion. It need not be an academic obstacle. It can be any sort of obstacle.


These information are part of different plans. The vlog is helpful in the language study plan. The career plan upon return and other data are more applicable to a post study plan.

Graduate / Personal Statement for Postgraduate Study. University in United Kingdom (Development Studies) [2]

The personal statement should never be the biography of the student in any fform. Where a motivational statement is not indicated, the personal statement should take its place. This discussion is not well focused on presenting your career development after graduation. Where has your career taken you so far? Would you say that you have developed a different outlook to your career because of your changing interests in the field? Why? What has changed in you so far? How did these lead to the choice of postgraduate studies? Develop this discussion to reflect why you chose the university. complete the presentation in 500 words at the most.You cannot use paragraphs 1-3. Compress the latter presentation using my question guide.

You should save thin current essay asan editable version of your statement of purpose. These info are mostly needed in that presentation .

Scholarship / Describe the context you've grown up in and how those factors influenced your life and growth. [2]


Avoid this type of overstatement. You are not running for political office. Offer relevant experiences as it relates to the application.


Refer to the program as an object since you mention it was home to you. The word program makes it theoretical in representation.

[quote=hsstudent]I'd like to mention that I am not sharing my experience to receive pity or to complain.[/quote]
Whatever made you think your narration would be percieved as such. Not once did the essay take any sort of groveling tone. Remove this reference because it does not apply.

Write a stronger stand alone final paragraph. Define who you are in totality because of these collective experiences. If you can sum up your character in one word and summarize why , then your conclusion will be better.

Writing Feedback / Given are the pie charts comparing two sexes in terms of the proportion of occupations in the UK [2]


Clarify that the pie charts for each gender is seperate. This confusing reference to the number of pie shouts is precisely why the image number must be mentioned in the first sentence along with the image type.


What are the occupations? The rundown would help add to the reference in the trending statement.

[quote=papcaii]It is also evident that clerical works were widely prevalent among the women, on the contrary, men were not interested in this form of jobs.[/quote]

One trend will suffice. In cases where there is a possibility of 2 trends, pick the strongest one and save the weaker reference for the reporting paragraph.

The writer has forgotten to reference the actual measurements in relation to several mentions. Where a measurement value is present in the image, it must be reported in the paragraph presentation.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: University or college is the best route to a successful career [3]


There is no sense in using 2 placement phrases in the end. Be more creative. Use a more academic wrap to the discussion. Show a college level closing statement rather than an ESL classroom taught conclusion summary.

The discussion is well developed and shows a cohesive analyses of both points of view. The writer effectively presents the pros and cons of each in a manner that considers all possible discussion points. These created well explained reasoning paragraphs that the examiner can appreciate.

However, there are certain sections where the writer comes across as ESL. More language fluency practice should help fix that. Scores are also awarded for ENL writing tones.

Writing Feedback / ESSAY ABOUT THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS OF WATER POLLUTION [2]


This is not a direct response to the reason and solution question presented. A lack of discussion topic outline in relation to the qquestions was necessary to show the writer's clear opinion and discussion process within the next 2 paragraphs.


Avoid words of uncertainty. Ensure that all words used contain an air of understanding, expertise, and clarity. Remember that such words reduce the clarity of opinion upon which certain scores are based.

The reasoning discussion is so busy presenting reasons that the writer forgot to develop cohesive discussion points. The paragraph lacks clear idea development due to the wrong discussion focus.


What is the point of this sentence? There is no logical thought present.



connecting words cannot be used to start a sentence. Remember that these are used to create a budge between 2 ideas in one sentence.

Writing Feedback / Beside maximizing profit, all the companies should care about making benefits for society [3]


This part cannot be stated as a fact. Rather, it should be represented as a possible discussion point due to implied conflicting views in the original. Remember that this is a written debate. 2 sides need to be present for an effective discussion.


No need to get emotional. This is a simple rather than extent discussion format. Just agree and say why using 2 reasons.



Do not use comparative phrases as much as possible. These have a tendency to alter the perception of your work from a single opinion to a comparative one. Use these phrases only in discuss both views presentations.

Save for a few errors, the essay discusses a single opinion as expected and shows logical discussion points.

Writing Feedback / The two pictures illustrate how the layout of the ground floor in this house will be changed [2]

The word presentation, though passing in minimum consideration, does not allow for a maximum scoring consideration. If the writer aims to write 175-200 words, his writing will be considered well-developed and more analyzed. Limiting the written words also places an early cap on the sectional scores. Do not overwrite, but do not write too little either. Just meeting the word requirement does not boost the possible score. Use a middle word count to achieve a better score.

There should be 3 paragraphs of at least 3 sentences each. The discussion is not balanced. The analysis should have more depth. Something like:

Paragraph 2: Analyze the original image
Paragraph 3: Compare the changes or unchanged portions within the images.

Writing Feedback / Increasing the price of fuel as the optimal solution to solve environmental problems [2]

The prompt restatement should never be over discussed. The topic presentation should not alter the original presentation by digressing from the original subject as presented. Reword it but do not add information not included in the first version. As for the opinion, "While I agree" is not the correct response format. A more acceptable response frame is " I agree with the statement to the extent that... " Such a response gives an advanced and more analytical opinion as it allows for a thesis based extent representation.

[quote=nartarus2000]to a certain extent in my opinion[/quote]
This is a highly confusing statement that does not add meaning to the paragraph. It is a repetition of the last sentence in the first paragraph.

The essay is over. discussed without truly presenting a coherent explanation. Practice thought clarity within a maximum of 5 sentences per paragraph.

* Contact me privately for scoring services.

Student Talk / Master's background change [2]

Well, college education considered, it would appear that you have related courses that could serve the application consideration well. The car development project shows an ability to work in the field. Provided you have not graduated too long ago. more than a decade after graduation and the information you knew to be relevant then may not be so at present. If you are applying for admission to a work related masters course, then it will be difficult for you to gain program consideration. Plan on applying toa non-work experience related masters instead. That is university reliant. Yes, there are universities that will not consider your work experience as a part of the career change consideration. The difficulty will lie in the course requirements for applicants.

Scholarship / GKS (KGSP) Scholarship Personal Statement - for degree in Fashion styling [2]


This is the wrong reason to choose a scholarship. Avoid financial benefit references. Speak of educational and career motivations in greater detail. Motivations based on strong personal reasons work best.


Remove the over-emphasis punctuation marks like exclamation points because it is unprofessional and non- academic. Keep an even but active tone. Never lose respect for the reviewer.


This is language study plan information. Delete it. Present it in the correct prompt discussion.


Which of these activities did you excel at?


In what field? Does it enhance any related experiences?


You already know why this section must be removed.

Please review the statement topic requirements. The essay does not always follow the requirements. Remove all language references and try to come up with more relevant academic accomplishments in its place.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay about DANGEROUS SPORTS needed [2]

The first paragraph does not provide a restatement + opinion. Rather, the writer entered into a direct discussion in what should have been a mere paraphrasing paragraph. It does not accomplish the following:

- Present an accurate representation of the orginal topic
- Refer to the 2 public opinions individually
- Create a comprehensive thesis opinion

This misrepresentation is enough to make the test - taker fail the first half of the test, leading to an insurmountable low over all score. Please provide an accurate version of the orginal instead. When discussing the public opinions, present your point of view for each. Indicate why you do not support or, why you support the public opinion. That would be the most score efficient way to discuss the topic.

Writing Feedback / Discuss both views. Cheap products or long lasting product. This is an IELTS essay [3]

The prompt restatement fails to provide the previously stated reasons for each public opinion prior to the personal opinion. The restatement is inaccurate. The idea presentation for each is incomplete and without basis.


Incorrectly used word reference. While it is an advanced word,the writer does not realize it does not accurately refer to people within the meaning of the sentence. Words must be used to refer to the correct sentence meaning.


This is a personal opinion that should be developed in a single paragraph. This cannot be introduced in the conclusion as new topics cannot be introduced in this section. While the phrase "In conclusion" was used, there was no real conclusion presented. Mere use of the please, without presenting the appropriate information does not create a conclusion.

Writing Feedback / Lots of teenagers today would rather socialize online than communicate in person [2]



Repetitive word meaning. Both refer to the 21st century. Use one reference only. There is no need to say it twice.


Non-academic word choice. Use formal academic words only.


Plural form of youngster should be used since "all over the world" is a plural phrase.


The question was" what are the reasons for this ?" The writer did not respond to the question.


Again, this is not the correct response to the query" how can they be encouraged to meet in person?"

* The writer failed to create a proper thesis statement both times.


Not people. Just the youth. Do not change the topic focus.


What issue ?


This does not explain how teenagers can be encouraged tomeet in puson than online.

The summary conclusion does not properly recap the previous discussion points. The essay has failed to address the task properly.

Writing Feedback / How to build the medical health care system [2]

This is not an acceptable statement response. Consider the focus of the prompt which is building a health care system then compare it to the paragraph and one will only find a long. winded and relevant introduction to the topic. Where is the reference to the question? Where is the thesis sentence? What Wewant topics are to be presented? none of the expected preliminary presentations are there. This is a half-baked draft. The writer has not considered the given topic for discussions. Rather, reasons to develop a healthcare system were provided ) which is a totally different discussion topic. As the statement is off the mark, this representation is not an accurate response or instructional outline.

Undergraduate / GKS 2022 undergraduate major in film. "Being a part of something special makes you special, right?" [2]

The language discussion does not belong in this statement. heate a far more intricate language study history in the appropriate and seperate essay. That way you can spend more time creating a historical presentation of your language learning style. This statement should focus more on your background and course related interests. As far as course related interests are concerned, you do not do a very good job of proving a serious pursuit of film -making. Beyond an interest in watching movies and quotes from television characters, there is no evidence ofa basic skill development, any amateur success that would prove a potential to suceed and reason to award a scholarship cannot be found either. So in terms of the following , the essay fails to leave a mark:


This not really included as a suggestion although it is presented as such. Unless you can prove an early interest and pursuit of felmaking , the essay does not work. Yes, it was mentioned as apart of the high school track, then nothing. There was no real continuing skills development to prove you deserve the sponsorship.

Writing Feedback / Information about the travelling tendency (cities visited) by people from the USA, Canada and Mexico [3]


What type of chart? Specific image indicators add clarity to the presentation. It helps with a better understanding of the up and coming comparison report.


Summarized as? The summary overview must always give the important data in run-down form. The reader relies on this for quick reference clarity.


Unnecessary. The immediate important information pertain to measurement highs and lows. Medians are best used as comparison markers in the report itself.

* Missing are the measurement type and comparison basis ( measured for the whole year) to complete the summary paragraph.

Avoid presenting numerical data in parenthesis when it is not done for the other measurement presentations. Uniformly compare the information instead.

Writing Feedback / Essay about the factors bringing success - advise [2]


This creates a problem with the orginal topic rephrasing. There is no question being asked of the writer in terms of statement veracity. Such a response is therefore, misplaced in the presentation. As this is most likely the personal opinion of the author, such a belief should be witten into the thesis response instead. That is, it must be integrated into the personal opinion section of the paragraph.Its current placement alters the given topic, forcing points reduction for the paragraph.



Stand- alone sentence presentations will not add to the score as these do not follow the paragraph presentation requirements. Blend these points of new into the actual reasoning paragraphs.


Unless you can explain the relevance of this to the public opinion, it adds confusion rather than clarity to the statement.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Will libraries be relevant in the future? [2]


The opinion of the writer is unclear. Do you agree or disagree? The response can only support one opinion. As this is not an extent statement, a deque based response cannot be used. The essay has failed at this point. A passing preliminary score cannot be awarded due to a lack of opinion clarity as indicated in the discussion qquestion. The second failure reason is the way the response is deemed incorrect based on the required answer format.


Nope. The essay score will be based on a single - reason. The problem, is that there is no clear opinion provided. The essay is not headed towards a passing mark at this point.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task on public, private and self-employed sectors of the economy in the UK [3]


Incorrect image identifier. The image is a line graph. Points will be deducted for summary image inaccuracy.


From when to when? The summary overview is becoming less accurate with every sentence written and presented.


Coherence issue in relation to the image identifier. This will cause several preliminary scoring deductions. Use a uniform image identifier. Preciseness is key to avoiding deductions in a Task 1 essay.


Should be presented as a seperate idea in the paragraph to help differentiate the information. A seperate sentence can be used to add cohesiveness to the report.


There is nothing similar about the comparison data Wrong word usage. There is no proper comparison point presented.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] SHOULD CHILDREN DECIDE THEIR OWN CAREER? [2]


This is a topic reason deviation. It is not supported in the orginal statement. It has altered the original topic proposal because the writer chose to provide a prisonal opinion in the restatement. By beginning the reasoning discussion too early, he has forced a restatement failure, even as the opinion placement is correct in format. The first paragraph may have difficulty achieving a passing consideration in the preliminary stage.


Avoid rhetorical questions such as these. The reason stating a response to the qquestion creates a score lowering topic alteration. Stick to related statements instead.


To make this seem less researched, use the word "public" since researched data cannot be cited in the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Developing nations are often financially supported by prosperous nations, but poverty still remain [2]


Do not exaggerate your response. Format the answer as needed or indicated in the discussion question. This is not an extent response essay so the response provided is incorrect. The format should be that off a simple agree or disagree statement. Remember that scores are deducted for incorrect response presentations.



The reasoning format is also not as expected. As a single opinion essay, you cannot use a discuss both opinion format. Both paragraphs need to support only the previously stated opinion. Otherwise, only the related paragraph and reasson will be scored.

Seperate the concluding paragraph into at least 2 sentences composed of 40 words or more to recieve a score in this section. Do not use run- on sentences that reduce the statement clarity.

Undergraduate / PERSONAL STATEMENT / Global Korea Scholarships (GKS-U) 2022 / Media & Communication [3]


culture and language studies are not acceptable reasons to study overseas. Reasons must relate to academic factors in relation to the major and how it relates to Korean accomplishments in the field.

The essay is a good personal statement but does not focus on the full prompt requirements. A severe lack of related academic and extra-auricular activities are required to convince the reviewer that you have the proper lower education foundation to ensure your success in this major. A general overhaul of the essay is in order. The information shared is geared more towards a food science or other food and nutrition related majors. Either change the major or, change the essay itself.

Writing Feedback / What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot? [2]


Kick off the discussion with a proper topic outline. The reader needs to know that you have a solid set of supporting ideas for your opinion. It will definitely add to the overall clarity of your opinion as related to the topic.

The discussion topics need to be be better outlined Act can indicate anything from trash out to literature. Due to the expansive discussion scope, limit the presentation to 2 specific out forms. That way the discussion becomes targeted rather than scattered as it is now. The ideas are good but lack cohesive idea and discussion development.

While sentence presentations are sometimes presented using improper grammar, the paragraphs remain understandable to the reader.

Graduate / Statement of purpose - OSLOMET Norway- MS-Applied Computer and Information Technology [2]


Expand on this portion. Specifically, discuss academic accomplishments, related research work, and any other academic participation that will prove an undergraduate foundation for the masters course.


What other skills development programs added to the perspective ? Companies invest in employee skills development in relation to an individual's promotability. Make sure to make it an important part of your career purpose consideration.


Unnecessary. The SOP should focus on the academic and professional aspect. The social creature should show itself in the personal statement.



Do not repeat website information as these are information the remewere know about. Use a different set personal considerations instead.

Writing Feedback / The data on the occupation of graduated and post-graduate students after finishing college in the UK [3]


Differentiate between their bar graphs. Indicate the content for each and offer 2 trending sentences. One for each image. Group the information by mage representation. The presentation seperation is necessary due to the number of images and differing content.

Paragraph clarity is an issue in the presentation. Every paragraph presents an idea series in every sentence. This is a presentation that runs counter to the clarity requirement of the presentation. When presented in this manner, the paragraph loses coherence, which means the cohesiveness of the presentation is affected. heate proper simple and complex sentences to avoid these run-on errors.

Good report. The sentence structure can be improved though.

Undergraduate / SCHOLARSHIP PERSONAL STATEMENT // GKS 2022 Undergraduate Architecture [3]


Why? Expand upon the motivations related to this idea.


Discuss this part as a seperate paragraph. Reference him as the influence and mentor in your life. This would bean effective highlight if presented properly.


There needs to be a reference to academic accomplishments here. Disregard any failures. The paragraph is already forgettable. Do not disqualify yourself with references to failures.


Perhaps rephrase this part? Boarding school ia percieved as a school for the rich, which you claim your family is not.


What is this ? Why is it a notable accomplishment?


Why do you think you failed?


But why Korea for Architecture college? What factors led to this decision? Specifically Korea's accomplishments in this field. Where is the motivational relationship?

Writing Feedback / Higher number of youngsters move from developed to poorer countries, to do some charitable work [2]

The student cannot recieve a passing score for this essay. The discussion response provided does not align itself with the given discussion questions. For clarity:

Questions:WHY? WHO BENEFITS MORE FROM THIS, THE COMMUNITY OR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE.
Response 1: There are many good grounds to explain this trend - Does not directly answer "why?"
Response 2: both the community and young people - Writer must pick only one of the two options for his solid response. Hint: The community encompasses all the members of the group, inclusive of young people.


Recap the reasons for the summary conclusion.


So you are no longer sure of the validity of your previous response? This is nota good place to suddenly have doubts as it will alter the TA score based on opinion clarity.

Writing Feedback / Giving jobless people access to the Internet will help reducing unemployment issue. Agree/disagree? [2]

The student did an acceptable job in the prompt restatement but failed to provide an appropriate question response. Refer below for a specific comparison.

Question: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
Response: I think that it is not the best method...

The student has created a clear response deviation. This caused a change in the reasoning presentation as well.The writer opted to use an advantage v. disadvantage reasoning presentation instead. These changes totally altered the expected response format. The writer no longer delivers the required discussion elements as required by the major scoring sections. The student must be conscious of the varying response formats and how these must be presented in essay form to recieve a proper score.

Writing Feedback / What is more vital: communication through word by mouth, or written language? [2]


Not a controversy. This has always been a topic for discussion. Avoid using sensationalist terms as these do not ever apply to an academic discussion, which you are writing about. Lower LR scores are provided for use of words out of meaning as based on the original presentation. TA deductions apply as well for discussion reference alterations.


Constant or constantly is not a degree of measurement as implied by the instruction. Rather, it is a deque of movement or a state of action. The word is mis-referenced in the response sentence.

* Student is displaying LR errors that will cause significant deductions later on.


One punctuation mark at a time. English grammar villa are very clear about the one punctuation mark usage.There needs to be a space of words between each marking to deliver a clear message to the reader.

Writing Feedback / WRITING IELTS ESSAY: Mothers should spend most of their time raising their children [2]


Hanging sentence. There must be a reason provided either before or after the word " while". This is an example of an incoherent thought presentation.


This is the reason for the previous statement. Therefore, it should come first in the paragraph set-up. Presenting this first clarifies the subject of the sentence.

*Please improve on sentence presentation and development skills.


Incorrect response format. Use the provided response choice by simply stating an agreement or disagreement in a simple sentence prior to the thesis sentence.



Incorrect reasoning format. The essay is a single opinion defense. refrain from using a comparative format where it is not required in the orginal prompt. Only the paragraph aligned with the stated opinion will recieve a score. The essay will fail due to the incomplete discussion presentation/ defense.

Writing Feedback / The line charts below illustrate the amount of energy consumed in the UK from 1980 to 2030 [3]


Note that noimages were provided for the report. Therefore, a positioning reference for the charts becomes unnecessary and useless.The number of charts provided would have been more helpful in this presentation.


Lack of thought clarity, use either past or present tense depending on the year references. Indicate what went upward as well. The information indicated is confusing. There is no reference to a clear information analysis.


What fifty period times? Did you mean to indicate a half century marker? The writer has so far, shown a lack of familiarity with English words and its meaning, along with a lack of proper usage. There is also a problem with his ability to form coherent sentences. These are the current major failing points of the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Traffic - a problem in major cities. Causes and solutions. [2]

The task 2 essay is the opportunity for the test taker to show his ability to explain his opinion and ideas quickly and clearly. That is why there is a 40 minute limit on the written presentation. bet to the point quickly, avoid forced errors, and score well. Write too much, create unintentional errors, score lower.That is always what happens when more than 300 words are witten. This essay is no exception. I believe the writer failed to time himself, hence the over-writing. keep it targeted and short. That is the main objective of this essay test. Logic is scored more than vocabulary usage. Do not try to pass based on vocabulary and word count alone.That never works.

Writing Feedback / Real or imaginary that you plan to do this summer. Try to think topic about time with friends [2]


What? This presentation does not connect well with the previous presentations. Avoid vague references since the letter calls for precise descriptions.


Wrong time reference. The instruction asks for future plans. These are yet to happen so the past reference, as in, activities already done and completed cannot be used.

Divide the activities by day and paragraphs.That way a more thorough idea presentation can be completed based on a daily activity focus. Luch a format can use a more active voice and allow the writer to inject more excitement to the future plans.

The writer should be sharing the letter with the friend who will be involved in the activity. Instead the writer is asking for an opinion The writer is using the incorrect letter format.

Writing Feedback / The line graph illustrates the amount of people who bought music over seven years time frame [4]

The writer was doing a good job of representing percentages, but then stopped referring to alternate words for percentage. This left the reader confused and wondering if percentages were still being discussed. continued use of synonyms for the key measurement reference was needed for good scores in the LR, C + C, and G R A sections. Always refer to keywords in various ways.

Each paragraph is a very busy run-on presentation. Kindly use 3-5 sentences in 3 paragraphs to properly meet the paragraph format considerations. These rushed sentence presentations lower the C + C section even further due to the lack of explanation development and clarity.

A task 1 essay need not be concluded. This is a report, not an opinion essay.

Writing Feedback / Past and present views on damaged items [2]

Do not focus solely on the vocabulary aspect of the score. Such a presentation shows that the writer does not have a well-built English vocabulary and that he is incapable of writing properly structured English sentences. Big words do not create simple and complex sentences. That is the misconception the with relied on. It led to an essay that is nest to impossible to understand due to the constant incorrect word usage in the presentation. The writer did not understand that the words used formed incoherent sentences that will definitely fail in 3 sections:

- L R
- C + C
- GRA

This essay will find it difficult to recieve a passing score.