Writing Feedback / IELTS Cambridge Book 1, Test 3, Writing task 1 - the weekly expenditure on 3 fast food [3]

The discussion in the paragraphs do not represent properly analyzed and thoroughly presented paragraphs. the writer is too much in a hurry. The presentation is mostly comprised of run-on sentences that tend to be confusing to the reader. For instance, when presenting the images, the writer used one long sentence to explain the content of 2 different images. Each image must be independently identified and must contain information relative to the image. These cannot be compressed because the differening image information will cause confusion for the reader. The writer is using long sentences to show "complex" sentences. This is a misunderstanding on the writer's part. A review of the differences between complex and run - on sentences is in order. The writer should also make an effort to identify the image information referred to in the paragraphs. Right now, the reader does not have any idea as to which image is being referred to in the essay. If the images were not available to the reader, this would be a stressfully confusing presentation that would result in a failing score.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: The diagram elaborates on the breakdown of making chocolate [2]

The writer does not give an accurate identification of the image provided. Each type of basic description has a specific reference. For example, this is not a mere diagram. It is a procedural diagram. It is procedural because it explains the process of creating chocolate. It is a diagram because it follows a step by step explanation of the procedure. This is also a 4 step illustrative diagram (meaning a drawing explanation) of a 10 step process. The writer must become more familiar with analytical essay presentations to create more reliable summaries and explanatory paragraphs. Since there are 4 steps in the procedure, the essay presentation would be better divided into 4 paragraphs for cohesiveness and coherence purposes.

Writing Feedback / Learning through screens are less beneficial than in a classroom with a group of student [2]

The writer is not being asked if the statement that was made is right or wrong. That is a clear misunderstanding of the opinion writing instruction. The essay will receive a failing score in terms of TA accuracy because the opinion is not provided in the expected format. The writer has not responded to the question and has instead, changed the discussion requirement for the essay. Compare:

Discussion Question: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
Response: the statement itself is partly right and also partly wrong.

This is the main reason why this essay will not receive a passing score. The scoring basis will be that of a failing one due to faulty English comprehension skills.

Scholarship / GKS 2021- STUDY PLAN FOR LEARNING KOREAN AND OTHER LANGUAGES [3]

The applicant is not following her own advice. She adviced a student in the other thread to not use Hangul characters in the language study plan because the instruction is to write the essay either fully in Hangul or English. Yet, that is the exact thing she does in this essay, using Korean characters to try and impress the reviewer, who will just see the applicant as a snob who can use Google translate properly. If the applicant wants to use Hangul characters, then the whole essay should be written in Hangul. If the writer cannot do that, then write the essay in English and stop trying to impress the reviewer, who will be far from impressed from what he has done to bastardize his application essay. The writer should stop trying to brag in the essay and instead, focus on a serious study plan for English and Hangul (only / exclusively) since those are the two languages that are in use within the Korean educational institutions, with Hangul being the default language.

Writing Feedback / The sense of competition in children - Writing Task 2 Academic [2]

Discuss both views AND give your personal opinion. The discuss both views aspect is separate from the personal opinion. The requirement for this analysis essay is a consideration of what makes both sides valid, based on a public perception. Public perceptions should be clearly discussed from an outsiders point of view through the use of proper third person pronouns. First explain why the public supports this opinion, then, using first person pronouns, offer an opinion based on a support or non-supporting explanation. The writer's opinion should only be created after careful consideration of both sides. There is a misconception that there is a right or wrong opinion to support in this presentation. That is incorrect. There is only the writer's opinion. Which is why it is best to offer an opinion for each public perspective, showing a non-bias discussion approach to both opinions.

This presentation is based on discuss both views from the writer's perspective rather than the public opinion + personal opinion discussion format. Due to differeing response formats, the writer will not be able to get maximum scoring consideration.

Scholarship / RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS AND SHARED LEARNING [2]

My review of this essay is no different from the first one. It is not an essay that will be able to compete with the other more qualified applicants. The presentation is too amateur in content. It does not really provide any highlightable skills or moments in the professional life of the applicant. This is only a more confused version of the first presentation. The chances of the student of making it to the next round of applications based on these simple qualifications remains the same. A very low chance of consideration. The applicant does not have the required work experience to qualify for the program yet. Neither has he climbed the professional ladder enough within the corporation or work field to have a significant networking impact.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: ...To what extent do you think consumers influenced by advertisement?... [3]

The original discussion does not make any reference to children in relation to advertisements. There is no need to make specific mention to children when they are not singled out in the original presentation. This creates a slight prompt deviation which, although not marked in effect, will still be noticed as an insertion by the examiner and ignored as a part of the discussion process.

While the writer sticks to the point of his presentation, he has chosen to use a synonym for advertisements that does not really apply to the word. When a person says "advert", he is referring to a verb meant to refer to a remark or comment. Always remember that just because a "slang" version of the word is used in reference to a word, it may not contain the same academic meaning. The word usage will be wrong and reduce the vocabulary score for the written piece.

Writing Feedback / Argument Essay: The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the ... [3]

This is a very well developed critique of the given article. The writer shows a clear consideration of the obvious and non-obvious aspects of the discussion. The disproving content shows that the writer analyzed all the given arguments and considered all the possible sides of the discussion. It is important to note that the writer kept a professional tone throughout the essay and always used provable evidence as the basis of his opinion for each success story in the presentation.

The grammar in the essay is not of an advanced English level, but it is not of a low level either. It safely places itself in the internediate level, which the writer seems very comfortable using throughout the presentation. The writer should try to make his point earlier in the statements though. The presentation tends to take a long time to get to the point. A quicker presentation would help the writer get his point across clearly and efficiently.

Overall though, not a bad presentation. I do believe the writer can receive a higher than average passing score with this type of presentation.

Writing Feedback / Whether TV channels should balance the time of sport shows for both genders, or not [2]

The writer does not have an established response line for the questions provided. A discussion of pros and cons is not required for this discussion presentation. The writer should be focused on providing the topic responses to the questions, which will create the discussion outline for the 2 reasoning paragraphs.

Using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" for 2 non-connected discussion topics tends to confuse the reader. These filler phrases only serve to mislead the reader, who ends up confused reading the paragraphs, which are clearly not related to one another as the paragraphs respond to 2 different questions. Use topic sentences as the lead in for the paragraph to clearly inform the reader of the paragraph discussion content. This will help to increase the coherence and cohesiveness of both the individual and connected paragraphs. I must emphasize that in these types of discussions, a transition sentence at the end of the first reasoning paragraph will help to better connect the discussion topics and paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / The line graph article. IELTS task 1. Railway trips time in UK [2]

The overview presentation is misrepresenting the line graph. The graph represents the number of trips that passengers took. It is not representing the amount spent by the passengenrs. This type of error is enough to garner a failing score in an actual test. The writer clearly has English comprehension problems. He does not understand English. It appears that the writer made up the information for the summary overview because of weak English abilities. This error will create a failing score basis for the rest of the essay considerations.

The writer needs to review his Singular V. Plural lessons. The references for the image are all in plural form, but he is using a singular form in the presentation, which will reflect badly on his GRA score. Then, there are spelling and word usage issues (abvious instead of obvious) which will also lead to lower LR scores. The writer has sentence structure problems. He has no control over his ability to write a coherent sentence or paragraph, and he has little to no understanding of English word usage as well.

Writing Feedback / Comparisons between the efficiency of studying in class and that of learning online [2]

This extent essay worked quite well in the beginning. Allowing the restatement to deliver a strong opinion basis and then, offering a belivable reason in support of group study. Both reasons show the merits of group study quite effectively. However, the student had an error in the use of comparative word fillers. Since both paragraphs supported the group study opinion, the writer should not be using the phrases "On the one hand" and "On the other hand". These references should not be used because the thought process it references are opposing ideas. There are no opposing ideas in the presentation. This is the reason why Word fillers should not be used in place of topic sentences at the start of any paragraph. By using topic sentences, the writer clearly indicates how the discussion will flow, and totally avoids any confusion in understanding the point of the paragraph.

Writing Feedback / The sales and rentals volume of films in four different categories from 2002 and 2011 [3]

The writer created a confusing trending statement. He vcombined a reference to rentals and DVD sales, which are two different subjects and should have been presented in seperate sentences. Combined information can be only be used for similar references such as DVD and VHS sales. Why? Both relate to the sales of an item. Rental and Sales refer to two different client segments. As such, the interests are different and should be presented separately when analyzed in terms of figures.

It is important that the writer does nto confuse the reader when he is making his presentation. He tends to get confused when discussing the representative measurements, making it difficult to understand the actual trend of the sentence or paragraphs. Practice writing individual thought sentences first. Disregard the length requirement of the exercise for now. Write in the long form of analysis first. Get used to seperate ideas, then slowly learn how to coherently combine sentence ideas to create cohesive sentence representations.

Writing Feedback / The argument over whether local history or world history should be given priority in school [2]

The student makes a compelling restatement of the original topic. His presentation makes the reader think about the validity of the discussion both sides of the aisle. However, his opinion response was short in representation of the original question. What was supposed to be a measured and emotional response to the question was relegated to a simple agree or disagree essay. So, why this essay will receive points all around, the lack of proper opinion presentation will be a drawback for the score of this essay. Consider the discussion response format and deliver as required next time.

Seeing how this is not a discusss both views and provide a personal opinion discussion, the essay is deemed to be overdiscussed. The third reasoning paragraph represnts the opposing opinion discussion, which is not necessary in an extent presentation. That paragraph only extended the essay, without a scoring consideration to be provided to the discussion due to its lack of relation to the writer's stated opinion. Always defend the writer's opinion alone, provided a comparison discussion is not indicated in the prompt.

Writing Feedback / The average proportions in typical meals of three different nutrients in the USA [3]

The report does not identify the image with specificity, leading to a confusing idea behind the actual image being presented. This general type of reference does not help to create an accurate summarized report. The type of image must be indicated to help the reader better imaging what sort of information is being presented and how. This is a short form of the report so the specifics in this portion are tremendously important. A clear reference to 3 image names and their reporting list is necessary.

The reporting paragraphs are tremendously confusing because of the proper image identification and information separation. The essay does not deliver clear references to the reader. The run-on sentences do not help either and further fuel the confusing representation of the information provided in the images.

Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Contradictory ideas whether organizing international sporting event is advantageous or not [3]

The writer has created sa prompt deviation from the very beginning of the presentation. His restatement is not based on the given information and in fact, does not accurately represent the original topic. He has began a discussion of a totally different topic rather than presenting a simple paraphrasing of the original subject. Then, he proceeded to change the discussion format as well. He has used the personal insight approach for both topics, with a total disregard of the way that the instruction provided asks that the public opinions, covering both topics be discussed prior to his personal opinion.

An understanding of why the public supports both sides, through a logical analysis on the writer's part, will help him create a valid personal opinion. In this essay, the analytical method of writing is scored along with the personal opinion. That is because both sides of the discussion must be thoroughly explained, before a statement of support, or non-support for a particular opinion can be made by the writer.

To prove a thorough analysis, the writer may opt to present his personal opinion by the third sentence of each reasoning paragraph. The first sentence will be the topic introduction and the second, the reason for public support. The third up to 5th sentence can represent the writer's opinion of the public point of view. Use first person pronouns to indicate the separation of the public from personal point of view in every paragraph.

Writing Feedback / A belief that a country's national budget ought to be used to develop railways rather than roads [3]

The writer shows a great familiarity with the topic provided. His insight is based on a personal experience, which falls directly under the discussion requirements. The examples and reasoning are well developed. The presentation is actually strong and will merit a higher than average passing score. There is however, a GRA problem that will force the lowering of an otherwise high score. There are 2 sentences that begin with a conjunction. A conjunction functions as connectors between words, phrases, clauses, or sentences. For the sentence aspect, "and" is used mid-sentence to connect 2 related thoughts. In this case, "And" was used at the start of a sentence, there is no thought process to connect at that point so the conjunction should not be used. Further familiarization with conjunctions and other connecting words, and how to use these properly in a sentence is necessary.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Cambridge Book 1, Test 2, Writing task 1 (Weather forecast) [3]


This is a redundacy. This information is clearly implied at the start of the sentence. Good work on presenting a summary of the report collation and creation process though. It is a clear summary that provides the necessary information to the reader, who can understand the process even without seeing the diagram. Excellent creative representation.


A comma should be provided in this sentence. Separate the step from the procedure. A pause is required rather than a period or any other punctuation mark.


A comma would be helpful to separate the sattelite information from the next thought process. However, a period would be more helpful since the next set of information does not relate to the previously stated data.

There are a few other sentence structure issues in the presentation in relation to grammar usage. These errors are minimal and do not affect the clarity of the presentation too much. Overall, this is an acceptable effort that tends to properly use the profession related jargon in the report.

Writing Feedback / Percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test [4]

It is better not to make any reference to actual measurement figures within the strending statement. The trending statement is still a part of the summary overview and as such, should not contain any specific measurement indicators yet. Only the measurement type should be indicated at that point.

A survey indicates measurements being taken. That does not portray the results of the survey yet. The measurements already indicate a final result for each year range. Use a different synonym as a "survey" does not apply to this report presentation.

Though the writer strives for clarity throughout the report. The improper word usage that exists from beginning to end in the presentation is what creates a problem in understanding the presentation. The writer must focus on proper vocabulary building and word usage to solve this problem. Unfortunately, I cannot present all the grammatical problems in this presentation without rewriting the whole essay. Rules of the forum forbid me from rewriting the total essay for the student.

Writing Feedback / Essay about the advantages and disadvantages of having school uniforms [3]

A better thesis statement can be produced for this discussion. Since a clear pro discussion had already been presented, the con reason should have been presented as well. By presenting the conflicting reasons early one, a clear discussion path will be set for the reader / examiner, who will then have a better assessment of the English comprehension skills and opinion development process of the exam taker. A completely developed thesis statement can only be a scoring boost for the TA section. A perfect restatement + opiniom paragraph will practically assure the student of a passing score.

The reasoning paragraphs are well developed. The reasons are connected enough within the paragraphs and definitely offer cohesive pro and con discussion presentations in the 2 rreasoning paragraphs. Yes, the sentence presentations could be more complex, but this simple presentation is more than enough to avoid failing GRA penalties. What is important is that the discussion can be easily understood by the reader.

There is a slight vocabulary error on the side of the exam taker that will result in a minute scoring deduction in the LR section. Refer to the following in terms of a misunderstood word meaning:

Sadden - verb meaning to make or become sad.

Saddle - verb meaning to load or charge with a burden

It is the latter word that the writer was supposed to use as the descriptive term in the concluding summary.

Graduate / Psychologists online - FUTURE PLAN - KGSP GRADUATE PROGRAM [4]

The Future Plan refers to the plans of the student after graduation. The response must be far more intricate than this presentation. This is too summarized and glosses over information regarding a 5 year career plan, after completing the course. The ideas are there, but the plan of execution are not. This is a 5 year career outline that will have to prove that the graduate will be able to fully apply the lessons that have been learned within the professional community. There should be a spin off from "working for someone" to "working for myself" with a clear reference to an occupation mission, vision, and objective. This does not really accomplish that task on an impressive scale.

Writing Feedback / Writting task 1 for ielts: the percentage of internet users [4]

Never start your report with CAPS LOCK. Always write the summary information in normal case letters, using capital letters int he proper sections of the sentence presentations. That type of presentation is a GRA violation that will definitely result in some percentage deductions. It is disrespectful and shouts at the reader since it is all caps and bold in writing. Write normally. by the way, the reference in the first sentence should indicate that the comparison is based on 3 countries since that is what the image indicates. It becomes confusing for the reader when you state the first part as a single reference point, then suddently changing it to plural in the trending statement. A uniform reference point is needed in the report presentation.

Avoid referencing "On the other hand" when a reference to "On the one hand" has not been previously made. As a comparison phrase, it should have the proper previous supporting sentence to strengthen the comparison point.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 - the chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. [4]


Vague references int he summary overview are unacceptable. The 2 countries are specifically referred to as France and the UK in the image presentation. Indicate the names of the countries as a part of the accurate summary overview. Divide the statement into 2 sentences as well. This will help add to the clarity of the presentation in a manner that clearly seperates the 2 information presentations, leading do a more coherent paragraph statement. The writer reversed his country reference. He placed the specific infomation in the trending sentence when it should have been a part of the overview, and then a general reference in the trending statement.


- Final product

Good refers to an adjective, noun, or interjection. It does not have anything to do with general number references. While goods makes reference to possessions and personal property.

Further grammar errors exist in thsi presentation, but these 2 are the ones that are the most marked because these change the sentences that they are located in.

Writing Feedback / Children are often told that they can conquer everything as long as they do their best [2]


Where exactly did this reference come from? There is no supporting evidence to show that this was prsented in the original topic. Why was this added to the restatement then? A restatement is defined as a verb that allows one to state ( a topic) again or in a new way. The new way does not mean adding information to the original. Information addition is not allowed because it changes the original statement in a negative manner. In this case, an unsupported reference was made, which changed the source material of the statement from a public opinion to a researched point of view. The latter being an incorrect reference pont. That said, the reference to the thesis statement is good, but requires topic discussion points to create the discussion paragraph outline / accurate thesis statement.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1-The chart shows portion of men and women who passed the driving test 1980-2010 [2]

Tense usage and referencing is a clear problem for this writer. She must review her tense usage lessons and familiarize herself with word tenses to avoid the repeated errors in this essay. While the clarity of the presentation was not affected, the grammar range and accuracy scores will definitely be reduced due to the grammatical errors.

Additional lessons in Singular v. Plural work usage are also needed because the writer tends to use a mix of singular and plural references in sentences / paragraphs. There must be a uniform reference in this section when it comes to the number of users. This problem will be another reason for another GRA score reduction. Refer to the image title. The genders are provided in plural form. So the reference must remain in the plural form within the report. The image information often clues in the student to the possible presentation errors. Taking note of these information often helps avoid the presentation problems in specific sections.

Writing Feedback / The survey in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones [2]

The writer indicates the plural form of a pie chart, which is pie CHARTS. However, the information provided does not indicate the number of charts and how the information provided in the summary was divided into the number of charts. How many charts were there? The number of images should have been indicated in the summary, as well as the division of information.

Due to the missing image, I cannot fully review the essay in terms of meeting the prompt requirements. The image and its accompanying information would have provided that clarity for me. Even in the reporting section, the writer did not seperate the pie chart information using topic titles to create a clear separation of data presentations. It is difficult to review this essay because there is an obvious error but the lack of image presentation prevents me from delivering a thorough assessment for the presentation improvement.

Writing Feedback / Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? [3]

The writer shall fail the test with this type of presentation. The main scoring consideration is always the word count. That is checked first by the examiner. He expects to find no less than 250 words in the presentation. Less than 250 words means that he will be forced to apply deductions in the TA section due to the insufficient word count. Since this essay is only over 100 words, I am afraid there will not be enough of a base score consideration left to allow it to meet the the passing score requirements.

The writer Has not provided ample responses for the 2 discussion questions. In fact, there is only a partially developed response for the first question as indicated in the original prompt. It is the lack of discussion development for 2 questions that led to the failure of this essay. The writer neglected to respond to both questions, hence the lower than required word count. In this case, nothing can be done to increase the score. Meet the word count next time and respond fully to all provided discussion questions. That is the best way to achieve a passing possibility in this test.

Writing Feedback / Some people think international sports event is good for the country. Others think it is bad. [2]

Any writer who does not use a discussion outline prior to drafting his response essay will find himself writing an uneven paragraph presentation. The writer needs to consider the discussion topic in relation to the discussion question or instruction from the original prompt.

Divide the presentation into paragraphs. Each paragraph should start off with a Topic Sentence that will tell the reader what the paragraph discussion will be about. Follow that sentence with the reasoning sentence, example sentence, additional reasons, then a transition sentence into the next topic ( for hohesive purposes). Accomplish those basic writing expectations per paragraph and the presentation will be well balanced. Make sure though that there is an understanding of the prompt based on the writing instructions. Provide the discussions accordingly.

Aim to write the maximum number of sentences as suggested for maximum scoring consideration. That means, no paragraph should be less than 3 sentences, no more than 5 sentences either. By writing these number of sentences, the paragraph presentations will always be of proper, and of maximum scoring length.

Undergraduate / GKS Personal Statement-Korean Language and Literature Major [2]

A desire to learn Hangul in Korea is not a very good reason to apply for the scholarship. In fact, it is the worst reason to apply for studies in Korea because, as far as languages go, there are internationally based language training centers that can accomplish that task. The same goes for the literature. The applicant does not present any compelling motivations for the application to move forward. It is weak and too idealistic. It is not based on a realistic career expectation after completing the U course. The application itself is too weak and does not have enough merit to be considered for a scholarship consideration. Teaching is a country specific occupation that requires localized training based on the educational needs and expectations of a specific country. A U course in education is always locally based, it is the M course and other advanced educational teaching skills that warrant overseas studies. This application is not strong enough to get past the consideration round.

Writing Feedback / Space traveling - any influence on people? (Writing Task 2) [2]

For accuracy purposes, avoid making mention of any names in relation to the space program. This is to avoid making and wrong references (Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon who made that statement, not Yuri) which could expose the writer's lack of proper historical knowledge. It is not important to mention names, it is important to get restate the topic properly. Any errors in reference could have a (minimal) effect on the score of the essay.

The writer got too caught up in his imagined discussion points that he actually ended up straying off topic, failing to provide the correct response opinion to the provided question. Which will lead to an automatic failing score for this essay. Once an incorrect topic and format is used for the opinion statement and succeeding paragraphs, there is no way the essay can achieve a passing score. The presentation was simple enough, but complicated by the writer who misunderstood or disregarded the discussion instruction.

Question: TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
Response: I agree with this statement; however, in terms of a straightforward person, who only loves the beautiful present time, I do not agree that traveling to the space can help people to have a sufficient perceivability.

When properly outlined, the reason for the failing score becomes self-explanatory.

Writing Feedback / The advent of the Internet cause working from home. Dicuss both advantage and disadvantages [2]

The writer is not being asked to provide a personal opinion pertaining to the topic. This is not a comparative essay either. This is a direct Advantage v. disadvantage discussion. Just discuss both topics. The writer does not need to make a choice or give an opinion. Outlining 2 positive and 2 negative reasons in place of the opinion statement would have sufficed.

Avoid the use of ellipses in an academic essay. Since that punctuation mark normally refers to a straying of thoughts int he presentation, it is mostly used in creative, rather than academic writing. Use clear sentence presentations only. Make a point with every sentence written. There is no need to be creative because this is not that sort of essay.

Since this is not a personal opinion essay, references to the writer's thoughts and opinions within the presentation are out of place. General references and general pronouns may be used. A first person reference will create a scoring problem for this essay in terms of the TA and C+C scores.

Writing Feedback / Businesses' huge marketing systems and money to hire media companies to popularize their products [2]

The restatement is a bit roundabout in presentation but it eventually made it back to the original point. Next time, try to be more direct in terms of paraphrasing. It will ensure that the interpretation quickly duplicates the original. The original need not be represented word for word. Simply restating the essence of focus of the discussion will be more than enough to get a good consideration score. The direct question responses were pretty much on track, until it derailed when responding to the second question:

Question: WHAT COULD BE DONE TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO BUY LOCAL PRODUCTS?
Response: Instead, people who make local products must know how to "play".

It is not about the inferred "play". The response should have made a suggestion as to how small businesses can sell themselves to the buyers. A sample response is:

Enticing regional buyers to purchase locally made products would be as simple as elevating their social media presence.

Talk about product promotion, which is what the original topic / foundational discussion is all about. It was at this point that the essay got away from the writer and created a prompt deviation. Seeing as how the essay does not fully correspond to the prompt, there will be a question as to whether this essay can recieve a passing score. Even though the discussion presentation is good and developed, it is not developed based on the expected discussion response. So it may be difficult for this presentation to achieve a passing score.

Writing Feedback / The rates of crime and how these rates altered in three different places in Panama city [3]

The main problem with this report is the clarity of the presentation. The writer has truly put in a good amount of effort when it somes to analyzing the image. Analysis and comparison sentences / paragraphs exist in the presentation. The desire of the author to be understood is clear. Unfortunately, the essay suffers from clarity within the paragraph presentations. There is an obvious lack of control when it comes to using the English language. Sentence formation and word usage would be the main concern here.

Despite the writer's efforts, the overall essay is totally confusing to the reader because of his weakness in grammar range and accuracy. This grading section will be credited with a failing score due to severe writing inefficiencies of the test taker. While the TA score may not suffer too much, the C+C, LR scores will suffer the same failing consideration as the GRA score.

The writer should not proceed with any more task practice essays until he gets his GRA problems corrected. There is no single problem to point out in this case. He must review and practice based on overall English writing accuracy considerations.

Writing Feedback / What are the positives and negatives of learning a second language as a child? [2]

It is not a matter of exploring the discussion topic. There was a clear question asked, upon which the writer is expected to rpesent and opinion response at the end of the restatement paragraph. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantages? Yes or no? Which side does the writer support? Why? These are the series of questions that should have been answered in the thesis statement and succeeding discussion paragraphs. The writer chose to respond without a clear thesis statement and the summary conclusion did not provide a clear opinion based on the discussion topics presented in the original prompt.

Without a direct response to the question, the essay fails to present a clear opinion as required by the TA score. The unrelated discussion response fails to deliver what is expected of the essay discussion. The go-to discussion format of test takers is always the comparison presentationl. That is not the default discussion format for a task 2 essay. There are the single opinion essays, comparative essays, cause-effect, etc. All of which require specific discussion formats. This essay used the wrong approach because the student failed to consider the discussion requirement, which focuses on a single opinion response. Prove the other side of the discussion wrong in order to prove the writer's opinion correct. That is how the discussion must be approached, but that is not what was presented here.

Scholarship / CHARACTERISTIC OF LEADER (LEADERSHIP AND INFLUENCE ESSAY FOR CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP) [4]

Proof of leadership, as presented in this essay, is very weak. It does not impress because of the lack of importance of the leadership role. There is no adequate proof of team-management, de-escalation skills, and serious decision making on the part of the applicant. This is still a rank and file job that fails to provide any information about the importance of the leadership role that the applicant within the workplace. While the defition of leadership is acceptable, the rest of the essay does not provide any remarkable leadership accomplishments on the part of the applicant. It is advisable that he chooses at least 2 leadership roles that highlight leadership growth and the importance of the role in the workoplace to fix the simplicity of the presentation.

Speeches / IS THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC REALLY BAD? [2]

Covid 19 is considered a proper noun as it refers to an identifiable illness. Make sure to capitalize all mentions of this word. there are 3 instances of improper writing of the noun in this essay. In all sentence structures, only one punctuation mark should be used at the end. Pick one. Use the correct emotional punctuation mark based on what you wish to express with your voice. When referring to the wild life trade, decide if you are referring to the singular, plural, or possessive form of the word, use the correct apostrophe once you have made that decision. Do not capitalize non-noun words in a sentence. That is a proof reading error. Review the speech for incorrect helping verb usage. Basically, the speech needs more editing and proofreading for clarity. These suggestions should help you get started with cleaning up the presentation.

Writing Feedback / SOP for a mechanical engineering master's at KFUPM [2]

The essay misses out on the whole point of the statement of purpose. What is the purpose of the study? What professional application will the additional studies have? What the the goal of the student? How is it relevant to his current and future occupational targets? Alignment of interests is one thing, but actually stating and relating these to the line of study are another presentation altogether. These need to spelled out. This is a written interview afterall. Specifics are required. Less of the wandering thoughts and more of a focused discussion. While the work experience is notable in relation to the course, the undergraduate foundation that will be the proof required that one will be a successful student. Having an undergraduate understanding of the required courses will mean that he will be capable of performing and accomplishing the class requirements. Prove to be an asset to the class instead of a liability through undergraduate and other training preparations relevant to this course. The professor discussion is not relevant at this point. That should be presented in the study plan if one is required of the applicant.

Writing Feedback / Citizens in several parts of the world research the origin of their accommodation buildings [2]

Feng Shui does not have anything to do with the history of the house or building. Feng Shui refers to the location of the residence. Feng Shui experts are not involved in the history of the place. This line of reasoning is incorrect in terms of considerations for the discussion. It is not related to the reasons why people would want to know the history of their home. The writer has provided a non-scorable paragraph here. Scores will be applied to the remaining 3 paragraphs that relate to the other aspects of the scoring and discussion instructions. The score provided will reflect that lack of proper discussion development on the writer's part. Will it be passing? That is unlikely.

Pay attention to word spacing. There should always be a space between the period and the start of the next sentence. Proofreading is also required due to spelling errors that were left uncorrected in the essay. Review word capitalization rules as well. A capital letter, unless referring to a noun, should not be used after a comma.

Writing Feedback / In recent years, some higher education institutions have provided access to their online courses [2]

When responding to a positive or negative development prompt, the writer should take care to ensure that his opinion is strongly supported in the discussion paragraphs. This is done by avoiding a comparison response that gives a good and bad discussion presentation. Rather, the writer should opt to use the perceived postive aspect, as a negative. That means, reversing the belief of the reader based on the actual negative aspect of a positive connotation. This must be done using 2 topics within 2 separate paragraphs. In this case, the writer will only get a score for the second paragraph since that is the paragraph that supports his opinion. Creating an under developed essay due to lacking reasons is one way of failing the test. So avoid that in its entirety, Focus solely on proving your point by disproving a public perception of a positive. Make the positive aspects negative as you would in a debate.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good [2]

The writer has taken the incorrect aproach to the discussion. It has been written from a personal opinion aspect without consideration of the original discussion requirements. The writer's disregard for the provided discussion instruction is what could lead to a low scoring, to failing score, for this presentation. The first paragraph restatement should represent the discuss both views and present a personal opinion instruction by providing seperate sentences for the 2 public opinions first, then the personal opinion, last.

In this case, the essay clearly emanates from the personal point of view of the author alone. The wording and reasoning does not represent the public thoughts or exaplantions of the 2 opinions. So the discussion format is definitely not as expected and will therefore, be scored based on only a partially correct response. All scoring sections will be reduced, regardless of the discussion presented because the writing failed to adhere to the indicated discussion format.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2; As well as making financial profit, businesses should also express their social role [2]

This type of presentation will warrant an immediate failing score overall. Specifically in the TA and C+ C sections. The reasons for the failure start with the word count and ends with an incomplete discussion presentation. There is no way this discussion will receive close to a passing score.

The minimum word count is 250, the writer has written only over 100 words. The examiner will apply percentage deductions based on the number of missing words, leading to a failed preliminary TA score. Then, the incorrect discussion fomat will also be given a deduction since the response is unrelated to the task. This is an agree or disagree essay but the exam taker chose to respond based on advantages v. disadvantages. A clear misunderstanding of the instructions provided.

The entire reasoning basis of the essay is based on an incorrect discussion format. Therefore, the examiner will have no choice but to fail the test taker in the end.