Writing Feedback / The issue of whether adolescents should work for several years between school and university [2]

The writer is asked to base his pros and cons discussion on his personal opinion, The prompt asks the writer to present his opinion as a part of the restatement + opinion presentation. The reference to this is missing in the frist paragraph. Therefore, the reintroduction is incomplete and will lose some points because of it. There is also a lack of clear reference topics to the pro and con paragraphs that affected the clarity of the upcoming paragraphs.

The writer must avoid over- sensationalising of the paragraph presentations. As these are academic discussions a proper calm and equal writing tone must be created in the presentation. Words such as "undisputed ", which create exaggerated reference points have no place in this type of writing.

Writing Feedback / In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss advantages and drawbacks [4]

The writer has altered the discussion presentation. The original instruction asks for a discussion of the advantage and disadvantage. While this was referenced in the interpretation, the writer mistakenly added another, totally different discussion point not previously provided.The writer decided to add a reference to : the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Changing and confusing the presentation paragraphs in the process. His format requires 6 paragraph presentations while the original only needs 4 paragraphs.

The writer also has problematic vocabulary usage.There is no reference to "positive consequences". The phrase contractis itself as " consequences" are the result of a "negative" action.

It is difficult to assess if the essay responds to the original promptand how because the writer has created confusing reference points for the discussion. Discussion format alterations always result in failing level essays.

Writing Feedback / In the recent years, shopping is considered as a common leisure pursuit rather than a housework [3]

The essay will get a failing TA score which could lead to an overall failing score. The score is the result of a response that is not related to the given task. The writer added a discussion format that was not in the original. The topic e-presentation is acceptable even though the vocabulary is not composed of everyday English words as required. It is the discussion basis that altered the essay to the point of failure.

Original Discussion Instruction: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: I agree with this idea to a large extent, however, the drawbacks are quite enormous. Therefore, valid arguments for both sides of this issue will be presented in this essay.

The discussion center for the essay is actually the topic:

IN THE PAST SHOPPING IS A ROUTINE DOMESTIC TASK
Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.

Which of the 2 idea presentations does the writer agree with to a large extent? Why? The why is what needs to be explained. This is not an advantage and disadvantage comparison. It is this change in focus that made the essay fail.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 - bar charts about the students who finished college and had no full-time job [2]

Since the bar charts offer similar information, there is a need to seperately identify the content of the charts in the summary overview. By dividing the reference points properly, the presentation becomes clearer and easier to follow on the part of the reader. This leads to a stronger TA score.

The trending statement was good up to the point where the student mentioned "ten times". Avoid such references since these better apply to the analytical and reporting paragraphs. Do not identify imager as first and second bar charts. The actual titles should be used which are UK Graduates (excluding full-time work) and UK Postgraduates ( excluding full-time work) The winter can use synonyms to describe the charts to boost the LR score.

Writing Feedback / The picture illustrates the life cycle of salmon in terms of their different development stages [2]

The essay is pretty good. It offers a clear process explanation for the life Cycle with an obvious analysis of the illustration. The fact that the with used correct referencing words shows that he is paying attention to the audience he is writing for. The student shows the potential to develop good reporting presentations. The analysis details are helpful. That said, the writer has a few clarity reference problems. There are certain instances when important sentence presentations are incomplete.


- Fast flowing what? Answer: Fast flowing river water.


- cover with what? Small stones. Technically , the eggs are not covered in as much as these are camouflaged. That is the more appropriate term.

Writing Feedback / Should high school students learn financial mangement skills? [2]

Students tend to overstate the - discussion topic by including an assessment of the truth off the topic. This is not a restatement requirement. It is better when such references are not made in the restatement portion off the paragraph because it alters the original presentation. A simple and straight interpretation, without over-emphasis works best. The rest of the presentation avoids a diect response to the provided questions which lessens the possible increased TA score this paragraph could have recieved.

The student is making excessive use of sentence fillers that do not add to the scoring potential of the presentation. The essay sometimes feels like a vocabulary and sentence formation excercise instead of an opinion essay excercise. The number of words are not scored but proper word usage is.That, is where the writer will find his essay with a heavily deducted L R and G R A score.

Writing Feedback / Write a descriptive piece about waiting in a waiting room. [3]

The overly dramatic piece of writing missed the whole point of the exercise. The room described was neither a principal's office, medical exam room or a dental clinic. The essay is supposed to describe a room based on one of the 3 specific scenarios discussed. The room description should be part of the unfolding story. The character description and story development must intertwine with the description. For example :

Tom felt a sense of foreboding as he followed his teacher into the pristine white room. He knew that making Steve's nose bleed with a sucker punch would not be good for him, but the bullying just had to stop. He made up his mind to tell the principal that when his turn came to face him. As he took his seat in the principal's office waiting area. He could not help but wonder why the other kids were here. The white walls of the room brought fear, rather than comfort. He wondered why bookshelves over flowing with books lined the walls. Even their homework was electronic these days. Slumping into the couch next to a kid whose hand was swollen, obviously injured during another playground fight, he couldn't understand why he was there and not Steve. The strawberry scented diffuser tucked into the corner table made him remember his mom. He needed her loving arms now rather than the merciless stare of his teacher who was sitting in the hooded ergonomic office chair across from him. Things looked really bad for him ...

If the essay is revised to reflect a description similar to the one above, it will be more prompt responsive.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2_TWO-PART QUESTION_ Factors for Job Satisfaction [2]

The introduction paragraph is wandering in terms of content and focus. It is only properly responding to the last question with clarity. The topic restatement and first question response are not clearly reinterpreted for the reader. The 3 reasons should have been mentioned in this paragraph to create a clear discussion foundation in the succeeding paragraphs.

The paragraph that lists the 3 reasons needs better development of a solid eample that supports all 3 reasons. Providing a more connected explanation would have resulted in better thought cohesion in the presentation. Right now, only a disconnected example is provided for one reason, which does not help create a coherent paragraph presentation due to lack of idea connectivity between the 3 topics in the paragraph. The uniter needs to show.how 3 seperate reasons connect into 1 job salisfaction reason.

The essay must always be certain in support of the outlined reasons.This relates to the clarity of opinion in the presentation. Words that show Q possible wavering of the idea such as "might" should be avoided. Again, the reasons provided are good but it lacks a combined discussion point There needs to be a smooth cohesive and coherent presentation. Ideas are good. The difficulty in merging these ideas are what lowers the score for the essay.

Writing Feedback / Depresion due to covid-19 pandemic [2]

Perhaps the writer meant to refer to severity rather that severaltry in the title. The latter word has an inapplicable meaning based on the research paper focus. By definition:

Severaltry - Law. (of an estate, especially land) the condition of being held or owned by separate and individual right. An estate held or owned by individual right.

Severity - harshness, sternness, or rigor: grievousness; hard or trying character or effect: an instance of strict or severe behavior, punishment, etc.

Research writers are expected to use profession related terms in their papers.These must be accurately used otherwise the professor could score the paper less clue to technical issues related to word usage.The writer must revise the title to reflect the accuracy of the research presentation.

There should not be any in-text citations in the thisis paragraph as the basis of the topic is still lbeing introduced. It needs to explain the basis, necessity, and research method only.These important establishing factors are non - existent in the paragraph so the paper has no reason for being that the professor can appreciate. I for one, lost interest in reading this paper based on there 2 problems alone.

* Limited review provided due to paper length. Contact me privately for a more comprehensive review.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 PROCESS - SALMON'S LIFE CYCLE [2]

The first paragraph needs to restate the type of image provided the allow for a proper summary of supplied data. The paragraph is only partially complete and will recieve limited TA scoring for it. This is regardless of the informative sentences presented.

There is a vocabulary explanation included with the development process outline. The writer neglected to use correct vocabulary in relation to the identity of the fish, which should have been referred to as fry. This will cost the writer some LR point deductions. There is also a failure to refer to the "open sea" in the final stage presentation. When specific vocabulary is provided, the writer must use these properly in the presentation as these are part of the scoring requirements.

These are the basic errors in this presentation that will cause an otherwise well- developed instructional explanation to lose points and score less than its actual potential in the end.

Writing Feedback / The rate of students dropping out of university is on the rise. What are its causes and effects? [2]

The essay fails to meet the 250 minimum word count. This is a problem because of the immediate scoring percentage deductions applied. The essay will receive an automatic failing base score. This is a failure that can easily be avoided The writer just has to remember to write at least 65 words per paragraph to automatically avoid word count failure.

The prompt restatement is faulty. A person who does not attend university was never enrolled. This type of person cannot be considered a drop-out since he never went to college classes. A drop-out is someone who, at one point in his academic career , attended college then stopped.

These problems aside, the writer showed good comprehension skills as his cause and effect discussions were relevant to the discussion requirements. more developed explanations in these paragraphs, example based presentations, would have helped meet the word count.

Writing Feedback / Bottles of Coca-Cola sold by regions and change in share prices of this beverage [2]

The writer has over-written for this 20 minute task. It is possible that the writer got this confused with the 40 minute task 2 essay. A task 1 essay should be limited to 200 words only due to the extremely limited writing allowance. Based on the word count for this essay, the writer would not have been able to complete it within the alloted time.

The summary paragraph should limit itself to general image data. The actual figures should not be mentioned at this point since the actual analysis and comparison always starts in the paragraph after the trending statement.

It is important that the writer learns how to use image equivalents of measurement presentations to make the report more scannable. The sign equivalents help keep the word count down and, makes the presentation quickly understood. A task 1 essay need not be too wordy since it is data presentation based rather than opinion based. There is only one rule for the task 1 lssay: Keep it short but informative.

Writing Feedback / The table shows the number of people in milions who watch sports on television [2]

The essay does not meet the passing score requirements as it failed to meet the 150 ,
minimum word count. As the essay is short in this aspect, it will automatically be deemed lacking in explanation and analysis. The writer limited the presentation to 2 paragraphs when the requirement is 3 paragraphs. This shows a lack of proper analysis on the part of the writer.

The essay could use more comparative analysis presentation between at least 2 data points per paragraph. Housing the info in parenthesis rather than using comparison sentence presentations means the writer preferred to just directly report the information, which accomplishes only half of the writing instruction.

Writing Feedback / Commuters travelling in Britain day by day by car - IELTS task 1 (line grap) [2]

The graph is supposedly about the rate of projected increase in usage for several types of transport. However, proper year on year or decade by decade comparisons are not properly referenced. The comparisons are unclear as definite year references are not used in the task. The reader should be clearly told what years the numbers refer to.

After a reference to 1970, the information shared became difficult to apply as per chart reference. This has left the report with a problematic C + C and GRA score due to lack of clear connectivity and confusing data presentation.

The essay also lacks an analysis of the projected rates for 2030. The errors in this essay all boils down to lack of information clarity and proper year referencing.

Writing Feedback / The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside... [2]

This is still a single opinion discussion even if the writer considers both arguments to be correct. The flaw in the writing stems from the way the writer used a positive / negative discussion format in the presentation. The writing format should have instead combined both avenues of discussion as a partnership. The opinion should have found a commonality between the 2 points of view that would have supported the writer's point of view , that;


There should be one distinctive factor, or two, that would have proven a connection between the 2 in relation to discussion. By creating 2 connected discussion paragraph, the writer will have properly developed reasoning paragraphs that would provide a C + C score boost.

Writing Feedback / Numbers of people using the internet in Mexico, America and Canada over a period of six years [2]

The writer should avoid combining several information presentations in one sentence. Such presentations limits the clarity of the information presentation. It also holds back the writer from writing a proper mix of simple complex sentences. These run-on presentations limit the scoring possibilities of the overall presentation in reference to LR, C + C, and GRA requirements.

The writer must know how to differentiate between the country and nationality. America is the country referred to in the graph. Americans are the nationals of the country. check the image again since you did not upload it. An error was made in reference to that.

An academic paragraph is always made up off at least 3 sentences. The last paragraph in this presentation does not meet the minimum requirement. Always presenta balanced discussion sequence for better formatting scores.

Scholarship / THE OPPORTUNITY TO GRAB WITH BOTH HANDS - GKS IN MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION PERSONAL STATEMENT [3]

The applicant presents ordinary information that does not call attention to academic accomplishments, notable academic, or personal obstacles that were overcome, and a believable reason for wishing to study in Korea. The motivation needs to have looth a personal and professional reason. Something along the lines of setting the path for future Indian women in the field would work. More specifics and corelations need to be shown. Maybe a reference to women of note in the field who influenced the applicant would work, using a mix of international references, with a few Indians thrown in for a specific focus.

The university choices in relation to the chosen major lacks any discussion that shows the career and academic motivations in relation to the study focus at each university. The student should revise the essay to shorten the earlier discussion points. Seeing as the student is focused on a university track application, the explanation regarding the choice of universities, along with notable academic accomplishments must be the focus of the essay as these are the major consideration points for uni track applicants.

The student would do well to remove the reference to academic failure in the essay. Only accomplishments will be considered in the application process. Include relevant extra curricular activities in place of academic non-accomplishments. The student appears to be weak in this section. The application itself is not worthy of note at this point and may not progress past the screening round.

Writing Feedback / Report: English-language TV programmes in my country [2]

The report itself should be written in an actual essay format using no more than 220-260 words. The writer has only presented a brain-storming outline at this point. It cannot be scored based on the scoring criterion. Based on the outline, it is clear that the student did not understand the report requirements.

Original Report Requirements :
- the languages poeple learn,who learns them and where they learn them
- recommendations for improving language-learning in your country

Report Focus:
- analyze the importance and the influence English-language TV programmes have in Czechia
- to explain the effect these programmes produce and to make recommendations of how the situation could be improved.

The report content obviously does not lend itself to the original reporting request. The difference between the 2 are night and day. The writer totally misunderstood the requirements. As there is no "failing" CAE score, the writer, based on the score to be recieved, will still understand that his English skills are not good enough for the purpose he intends to use it for at the moment. He cannot be hired professionally, and he will have difficulty entering a school for continuing education as well because these places have minimum CAE level considerations of their own.

The writer must improve his English understanding / comprehension skills. Perhaps start by writing English elementary level essays first, slowly working his way up to college level analytical, article, and opinion writing essay formats.

Writing Feedback / Essay about discovering about the history of the owner's house or building he lives in [3]

The prompt rewrite is not even remotely related to the original prompt. The miter also neglected to provide the discussion lbasis based on question responses. The paraphrasing + opinion presentation is a failure. The interpretation would have been better if w'itten similar to:

All residential structures, whether local or global, have a story to tell. These days the owners or renters of these places would like to know the story beliend where they live. some of them need to know these information for legal purposes. Such information can easily be found by visiting the land titles department at their local city hall.

The above sample clearly restates the topic in a totally new, but original topic related way. The last part also creates a solid response for the 2 questions in a manner that solidly establishes the 2 discussion paragraphs.

The first reasoning paragraph provides a good, solid, and clean 1st reason. A cohesive device that would have related the 2 topics smoothly in the paragraph was needed. The word " additionally" would have only been acceptable if the next reason related to the first. since it did not, then a transition sentence was required in that presentation. The same problem existed in the next paragraph. While a student will get a score for transition word usage, it will not be as high as when a transition sentence is used as it ffully increases the C + C for that paragraph.

For the conclusion, it is better to actually use a reverse paraphrase of about 3-5 sentences. That way the miter can display his comprehension and writing skills to the fullest.

Writing Feedback / Should high school students be encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers? [2]

The first sentence of the paraphrase is confusing. I am sure that the sentence made complete sense as the student thought of it in his native tongue. Unfortunately, vernacular language never translates well, word for word, into English. The student will do well to get used to thinking and writing in English to better develop his language based thinking and writing skills. The actual presentation misses out on the proper restatement development. 3 sentences are needed to restate and state:

- POV 1
- POV 2
- Personal opinion

All 3 become the basis of the required 3 reasoning paragraph. The prompt restatement plus opinion paragraph is incomplete.

The general discussion does not use groups references to indicate the comparative and analytical sections/ paragraphs of the essay. The lack of proper pronoun references implies that all the opinion presented are strictly writer point of view based. The division and voice of . development is incorrect. The essay will still be considered for scoring. It may even get a passing score. However, this is not going to recieve more than average scores throughout because of missing writing elements related to the GRA scores.

Writing Feedback / The pie charts compare water usage for industry, agriculture and domestic in six areas of the world [2]

The summary overview has accidentally been presented as a run on sentence. There being 3 seperate sets of information presented, each topic should have had its own sentence to keep the information in that section clear and easy to follow. That would have also been the format that better delivered the analysis writing instruction to the reader. The lack of clarity in that presentation affects the C + C section while the lack of writing instruction reference reduces the TA score.

The first sentence of the first half of the report is missing a subject. There is no meaning to that presentation because of the incomplete sentence presentation. For clarity, the word " While" at the start should have been ommitted.

Writing Feedback / Teenagers are likely to lose track of their time on playing video games so they exercise less [2]

It would appear that the writer tried to develop his own writing prompt based on a popular task 2 practice topic. The student did not know how to develop a proper topic and response scenario for the topic. That is why the Issay provided is confusing to the reader. The writer did not consider that this topic always uses a cause and effect writing format. That is why the discussion provided is incomplete and not really applicable to a task 2 essay application. Had this been an actual test, the writer would have failed based on an incomplete discussion presentation.

There are always 2 reasoning paragraph presentations. The writer cannot provide only one aspect of the discussion as that would make the essay fail in the TA (prompt adherence) and C + C discussion presentation sections.

Writing Feedback / The charts show the methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009 [2]

How many images were provided and how were the information sections divided in the chart? How was each chart identified? What was the combined or individual measurement basis? These are but some of the pertinent information missing from the summary overview. Essential data elements were ignored in that section. The result? A summary that does not actually help inform the leader in the most understandable and concise manner.

The reporting paragraphs do not show evidence of extensive information analysis either. With each paragraph using only 2 sentenceseach, most of the writing is based on the GRA deduction causing run-on presentations. The writer needs to become more familiar with proper intermediate to advanced sentence presentation skills to overcome that shortcoming in his writing skill.

Writing Feedback / COMPUTERS - using them in education has become incredibly common around the world [3]

The writer has several word usage errors in this essay that displays his lack of English vocabulary understanding. The word "gradually" cannot be used to replace the keyword "essential" as gradually refers to a slow development while essential is related to important and useful developments. A made-up word was also used in the form of " utterlise ". No such word exists in both the American and UK dictionaries. Perhaps the word Was supposed to be" utilized " instead ? These errors will have direct score deductions applied to the LR, C + C and GRA scores.

The writer also uses text speak in an academic essay. The letters "Sth" means something in informal sms writing but, shows a lack of proper academic writing skill in the test. Further LR and GRA deductions will be applied as the writer shows an inability to write in an academically acceptable format.

Writing Feedback / Money spent on space exploration could be better used to fund other pressing problems in society [2]

While the writer manages to meet the wword count requirement and presents some good arguments, I am afraid the essay is not worth a passing score. The writing prompt asks for the writer to support his measured agreement or disagreement with the given topic. The extent of his support for one opinion serves as the overall discussion focus. The author seems to have forgotten the writing basis as originally provided because the essay developed was instead, based on an alternative and non-related instruction. The writer instead wrote about the advantages of the investment. The lack of relevant response will lead this essay to be scored as an unrelated response. The missing TA adherent response opinion Was to be the basis or foundation of the discussion. While the essay maybe scared based on the presentation, full marks will be withheld due to the inappropriate discussion development.

Writing Feedback / What students with no full-time jobs did after finishing their courses in 2008 in the UK - IELTS 1 [2]

The writer must be made aware that he has overwritten his task report. The task 1 essay requires only between 175-200 words. He has written enough words for an almost complete task 2 essay instead. As the task 1 essay allows for a mere 20 minutes of writing time, the task must be completed with lesser words but with ample information clarity.

The writer must also identify the type of chart and number of charts provided. There is a lack of image differentiation which confuses the reader. Each chart provides a specific information type, which is normally used to identify the paragraph report focus. Each paragraph should be within a 5 sentence presentation only. The 2 images provided indicates that this is a 4 paragraph analytical report presentation. The writer should not compress differing information within a single paragraph. That type of format makes it difficult to keep track of.

The writer is offering a concluding statement towards the end. A presentation that is reserved and required only for task 2 essays. Rather than a summation , this task requires a trending statement instead. It is that statement which is missing in this report presentation.

The writer certainly has the potential to score well in this task exam. More formatting familiarity can assist him in achieving more than just a passing score.

Writing Feedback / In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas..... [5]

It is unfortunate that this essay only has 188 words in the presentation. The severe under word requirement resulted in an immediate failing TA score for the essay. The 250 minimum word count was not met. The TA score preliminary deductions will simply not be overcome by the actual score of this essay. since TA compliance sets the grading trend for the essay, I am afraid the failing final score of this essay cannot be helped.

The discussion paragraphs need help. An effective A/D essay would be able to clearly explain its point of view through the proper debunking of a perceived advantage as a disadvantage. The basis of which would be believable examples and supporting opinions / details. Needless to say, the essay fails to properly and believably defend the opinion statement provided at the beginning of the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others ... [2]

Although the writer delivered an acceptable paraphrase and personal opinion, the actual discussion format is incorrect and not prompt responsive. The discussion mistake stems from the way all the points of view come from the writer's opinion alone. The instruction format actually asks the writer to provide an explanation for each public point of view ( 2 paragraphs) using 3rd person group references, before the singular first person pronoun personal opinion.

The essay is all about showing the examiner that the writer is capable of developing an analysis first, without bias (public opinions ) and then, with bias (personal opinion) which is one of the more commonly used college and masters research writing formats.

Writing Feedback / Is it better to introduce a foreign language at primary school instead of in secondary school? [2]

The prompt restatement is inaccurate. It contains reasoning information that are not a partof the original prompt. Any personal opinions or discussions should be reflected either in the opinion sentence or thesis statement. The rewriting of the topic must remain true to the original without any personal influence.

The writer must review how English punctuation marks are used. The writer will never find an instruction that will recommend the successive use of punctuation marks. Regardless of what punctuation marks are used, these may only be usedone at a time. The writer will receive heavy penalties for improper sentence structures due to faulty punctuation usage.

Since the writer believes that there are more disadvantages to early foreign language learning, then 2 reasons proving it should be presented. Due to the essay presenting only one supporting reason, the essay becomes confusing to lead. The reader will question the true opinion of the writer, leading to a reduced score. The clarity of the writing is now faulty and cannot receive full scoring marks for TA, GRA, and C + C elements.

As a reminder, if the instruction does not ask one to compare anything, a comparison discussion should not be used.

Writing Feedback / Due to globalization, many kinds of goods become more accessible to people in different places [2]

Scoring considerations for essays that merely meet the word requirement does not help the exam-taker to maximize his scoring potential based on the individual and overall scoring requirements. It is advisable that test takers aim to write within 275-300 words to allow the student to earn maximum scoring possibilities based on wbic requirements.

The writer mentions globalization in the paragraph restatement. The original topic makes no mention of this. The examiner will view that statement as a topic deviation, affecting the TA score negatively. The writer must never include unsupported information in the rephrasing because of this. A mere 2 sentence paraphrase that does not alter the original information would have far more beneficial to that section in terms of scoring.

The original question is reflective of a single opinion essay. The miter must not justify the point of view he does not support as scores are only applied relevant to its support of the given opinion. The current reasoning presentation fails to meet the coherence and cohesiveness requirements. In addition, the Task accuracy is affected negatively as the opposing opinion discussions create a problem with regards to opinion clarity. The writer now appears to support both ideas, even as he presented a different thesis topic in the introduction paragraph.

The writer cannot convince the reader that his opinion statement is correct and believable because he cannot provide 2 supporting reasons for his point of view. More familiarity with correct reasoning formats are required for the writers improvement.

Writing Feedback / Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them [2]

The writer has provided a relevant restatement and reasoning paragraph foundation. However, he has not given a response to the opinion question, "to what extent do you agree or disagree? " While the response is "implied " overall in the essay, a clear TA score cannot be applied as the writer failed to provide the correct opinion response format prior to the reasoning foundation. The essay TA score will suffer due to this slight oversight. The first paragraph carries heavy scoring requirements that the writer must always be aware of. In this instance, he failed to double check for prompt responsiveness.

As this is not a comparative essay, finding something positive to say about the opposing view is unnecessary. The scores are only applied to supporting paragraphs. The writer at this point, will receive a score for the second paragraph. This will be based on an under- explained line of reasoning and way cause a failing score as other deductions are applied per section.

The reasoning paragraphs should have discussed the following topics in one paragraph each:
- Benefits of education
- Benefits of vocational training

Properly developed and discussed, these 2 topics would have boosted the TA and C + C scores for a better final grade.

Writing Feedback / Essay about should government spend a lot of money on exploring space or on public services [2]

The essay was off to a good start, missing out only on the proper discussion format. As the instruction states that a comparative discussion of the 2 public opinions be presented prior to the personal opinion, the indicative discussion paragraphs covers 3 point of view specific paragraphs.

Based on the given presentation, 2 out of 3 paragraphs are discussed, the 2 public opinions are well discussed but the personal point of wilier is missing. Integrating a personal opinion in the conclusion will cause this essay to fail as no format responsive concluding summary has been provided. The full essay does not meet the discussion requirements as stipulated. The personal opinion is considered missing as it must always be a paragraph presentation before the summary conclusion.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 - using energy in an average household and the greenhouse gas emmision numbers [2]

The image is not properly identified in the summary paragraphs. A chart is a general image reference. It is not a complete image identifier. The writer must indicate the type of chart presented (e.g. pie chart) to help create the mental image for the reader. That presentation should also be at least 3 sentences long.

In reference to the sentence presentations, having witten only 123 words indicates a lack of proper image analysis and explanation development. The writer shows an unfamiliarity with task 1 writing guidelines.

A task 1 essay of less than 150 words guarantees a failing essay score. The paper has not met the overall minimum scoring standards to achieve even a baseline passing score. More analytical writing is required.

Writing Feedback / Average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities [2]

The first and foremost reason this essay will fail is the wifer wrote only 1461 150 words. The word count deduction is applied immediately, even before othe scoring deductions are applied. This means that the essay starts with a reduced or failing score right from the start. The writer must keep the s score at 100% by writing at least 150 words at the very start. Otherwise, the essay would have failed even before it was fully scored.

The summary overview fails to list a summary of the activities involved along with how these activities are presented in the image (measurement identifier). The comparison paragraphs need to have uniform sentence presentations. No paragraph should be less than 3 sentences, but no more than 5 either.

Writing Feedback / Sending students on study abroad could be a beneficial way to encourage the economy and education [3]

The first sentence makes reference to the writer's personal opinion. It is not a point of view indicated in the original prompt. It is not going to recieve a score due to irrelevance to the original discussion presentation. The student knew to use both reasons in seperate supporting paragraphs.

The problem, is the use of comparison reference phrases to introduce each paragraph. Reference phrases that indicated opposing points (on the one hand/on the other hand.) which led to a slight confusion while reading the text. Such errors will result in GRA and C + C deductions due to confusion applied to the reader. To avoid such deductions, topic sentences must be used to connectedly introduce the paragraph topics.

The actual reasons are well explained and properly supported by valid examples. The writer shows a clear understanding of the topic but has some difficulty in using proper reference words. This is a good effort on the part of the writer. Further excercises should develop the writer's skills in the future.

Writing Feedback / Ielts/Writing task 2/problems and solution/Environment [2]

In the paraphrase, the writer must showa connection between global warming and 7 sea levels. something like:

Global warming is believed to be a deadly threat to mankind as it directly affects ocean elevations. These combined problems cause... I believe these can be solved by...

This clearly developed representative and response paragraph will result in a better TA score with the possibility of a C + C boost if the opinion is properly explained and supported.

The problem paragraph is filled with too much establishing information, not enough discussion clarification. Limit information presentation and focus on the main point instead. One piece of relevant data is more than enough to establish the topic.

The solution fails to present a comprehensive solution that would solve global warming in relation to rising water levels. There is a lack of cohesiveness in that paragraph as the solutions presented disconnect the 2 topics in a combined solution.

Writing Feedback / Some people think a good relationships between coworkers is good for bussiness. [2]

The writer's opinion is not a required presentation in an A / D presentation. The discussion instruction asks the writer to educate the reader on the topic, without trying to influence the reader's final opinion. The task accuracy score of this essay is negatively affected by the presentation of that opinion and lack of related topic discussion presentations.

The concluding paragraph contains incorrect information. As I previously mentioned, an opinion should not be provided in this presentation. Neither should it make a decision for the reader. These no's are exactly what this paragraph does. Rather, it should merely summarize the A / D presentation points in a manner that creates a new statement paraphrase.

Writing Feedback / People do not have to get married to be happy, so more and more people choose to stay single [2]

This is a good example of a failing score task 2 essay. The minimum word count of 250 words was not met, indicating a high deduction rate for an under discussed essay. The response format is incorrect as the original reference is "In many countries ", which was not identified in the restatement. Thus changing the topic from an international to local concern. Though the response is correct, the student did not present a discussion outline to build the discussion points.

Though proper reasoning was provided, the lack of logical paragraph based explanations per reason was not shown. A lack of proper response development led the essay to a failing coherence and cohesiveness score. Individually developed topic paragraph discussions are needed to accomplish that task.

The essay provides a clear lack of interest on the part of the writer to provide a score adherent discussion of this topic. No effort was placed in the development of the essay.

Writing Feedback / The charts show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in Nothern Ireland [3]

The writer failed to indicate the number of pie charts included and how these pie charts were identified. Why is the number of images required? Remember that several years can be measured in a single pie chart. If the information is measured over years within several pie charts, then that should be made clear to the reader. That is why the number of images and how it is divided within each pie is important to the summary.


The mid-measurement unit should be indicated to show the proper flow of decrease.


Word usage error. This should state, " In contrast" to show a comparison between data indicators.

The task 1 essay cannot have more than 4 paragraphs. The concert reference should have been better integrated into the previous paragraphs to suit the formatting requirements. There was no reason to seperate the last 2 sentences if proper formatting was applied.

Writing Feedback / The diagram shows the process of growing bananas for selling in supermarkets. (IELTS) [3]

The diagram indicates the number of stages along with the number of procedures per stage. The summary is not clear tothe vader because of the lack of development separators. The trending sentence should also make reference to the main stage from the diagram.

The writer should clearly indicate the procedures involved in the 3 stage process. It is confusing to read the paragraphs as these seem to be losing track of the procedures and stages involved. The count is off because of improper reference points. The presentation just might receive failing GRA and C + C marks, causing a failed final score.

The student must learn to outline the presentation prior to writing. That will help create a coherent presentation of the stages as divided into procedures.