Writing Feedback / Are we more dependent on each other or maybe we've become more independent nowadays? [2]


Repeating the discussion instructions works to boost your TA score in terms of comprehension skills. It does not create a double boost of TA and C + C score when you respond with a clear writing or response outline such as the following:

It is important for me to understand both general reasons and opinions because, I personally believe that...

What did this sentence do in a more advanced response manner? It repeated the discussion instructions in relation to the personal opinion. 2 scoring sections get a preliminary scoring boost, the TA and C + C parts.


wrong word usage. Use undoubted instead.


Incorrect discussion format. Explain both views based on public perception first, then explain how your s blends with a particular s or, stands differently from both.


This is a clear opinion statement that would have helped your score in the 1st paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The amount of fish and meat consumed in a European country from 1979 to 2004 [3]


There are two types of graphs indicated in this image. For better identification, task accuracy, and C+C scoring, you should be specific about it. Refer to the image as:


@thanhtien2512

The image provided indicates measurements in line and dotted graphs.

Why will this specific identification help your score via presentation? Such a reference will help the reader create a mental image of the measurements, assuming the reader does not have a reference image to look at. You may even specifiy which item is using the said graph method for further clarity. Eitherway, you can only improve your score in the sections previously mentioned.


Good reference but not really informative. As the actual years were mentioned in the image, you are expected to somehow, reference these in the presentation as well. That is, regardless of your variety in year reference. Your reference could affect the C+C as there is no actual year reference and also, reduce the GRA score due to the lack of proper understanding this brings to the reader. The reader is left with questions with regards to that part of your report, this making it stressful to understand. anytime that happens, these two sections of scoring will be affected.



There is a problem with this presentation as it lacks clear references to the indicated products. Since you had already mentioned fish and chicken, you should have added the reference to beef and lamb. The non-reference added to the lack of clarity in this presentation. Definitely affecting your C+C score in a negative manner. Anytime you lack information in your paragraph, your score in that rubic consideration is lowered. You get individual scores before getting a final collective score. So consistent low scores in the sectional scoring will result in a low overall score.


As compared to chicken? Why did you suddenly stop with the comparison analysis at this point? It is a requirement of the essay report. The data must show a comparative analysis at all times. You should have done it in this part as well. Though this ommission will not have a serious effect on your score, you mossed out on increasing your TA score further with that reference at this point.

Overall, an acceptable essay. The points for improvement referred to here are observations based on score increasing considerations that you should have taken into account while drafting the essay.

Writing Feedback / The line chart illustrates the proportion of visitors who went to four distinct places in Edinburg [3]


slightly incorrect image identification . This isa line graph, not a line chart. By definition:

chart - noun; a sheet exhibiting information in tabular form.

graph- noun; a diagram representing a system of connections or interrelations among two or more things by a number of distinctive dots, lines, bars, etc.

Both words are nouns but the words describe two distinctly different images. Use the correct definition for the image for accuracy. On the plus side, you did a good job enumerating the locations in the trending statement . That's always helpful in the initial scoring segment.


what places. Always inform regarding the source of comparison points.


Is this in reference to the previous statement? Make that reference clear. Otherwise you lose GRA (stress regarding comprehension on the part of the reader) and C + C points ( due lack of statement clarity).


The lowest and highest points being? The comparison is incomplete.



To what measurement levels? This creates confusion in the statement. You are risking further score reductions in the GRA and C + C sections. These issues could very well be the reason for a reduced overall score.

Writing Feedback / The use of social-sites can cause many physical and mental health problems and spread misinformation [2]


Do not close the statement after your opinion. Offer your 2 discussion reasons to help offer the supporting reasons in a summary form. The reasons will help enlighten the examiner about the relevance of your supporting reasons to your opinion. It proves how well you understood the question in relation to TA considerations. You are scored on English comprehension skills in the first paragraph so work hard on providing a compelling restatement and thesis statement. Doing well in this section wins half the passing scoring marks you need to pass this text section.


Divide this into 2 presentation paragraphs as these relate to 12 different health topics.


This is the central discussion topic. These needed to be fully developed in terms of explanation and examples. Instead, you are presenting a reason without supporting evidence. You cannot get a passing C+C score because your overall reasoning paragraphs suffer from this problem.

You clearly understand the writing demands of the instruction but fail to develop complete reasoning paragraphs due to your improper focus on reasoning statements rather than reasoning development/ explanation.

Writing Feedback / Fast food safety and school ban [2]

Was this paper meant to be a task 2 essay response or, as a research paper? Based on the manner of discussion, I believe you have written this as a research paper and will review it as such. Please specify the paper type next time for a more precise review.

I noticed that you referred to research information in almost every paragraph, but you did not properly cite the source of information in-text. When you use information that was learned through other sources, you need to acknowledge the source. Otherwise, you will be accused of plagiarism. If this were a task 2 paper, you would have hada bigger problem because you can only use personal or public knowledge as information. You cannot cite other sources.

* Limited review due to uncertainty regarding the writing format.

Writing Feedback / Task 1, The expenditures for five major categories in the US, Canada, the UK, and Japan in 2009 [2]


The bar chart is divided into 4 sections. Include that reference as the individual items are listed / measured per country. Remember, the summary needs3-5 sentences to be considered complete. That is inclusive of the tending statement.


what are those items 1
Enumerate. Seperate your information into individual sentences. Your presentation is a GRA violation as it is a run-on sentence.


Incorrect. The reference is countries, which is totally different from cities. Use a more correct synonym like region, realm, or sovereign state.


Whose expense is the 30% referring to? The subject off that information is unclear. Always relate the figure to the country. failure to doso affects the reference clarity and the accuracy of your grammar.

Writing Feedback / Do you agree that advancements in medical science and technology is one of the most important factor [2]


You did not properly respond to the discussion instruction which is: To what extent do you agree or disagree? Your TA score will be based on an incorrect response format. You disregarded the original instruction, opting instead to use a comparative response that does not provide an extent response. a prompt deviation is enough for you to get a failing score. But, this is not the main reason your essay will fail.

The minimum word count is 250 words. The current presentation only has 226 words. You came in with a completed essay short by 24 words. Proper penalty deductions for the - 24 words will be applied even before your work is scored per scoring rubic. So, between the word count shortage and prompt deviation, this essay is already bound to get a failing score.

Writing Feedback / The line chart illustrates the population growth in New Zealand between 1950 and 2050 [5]


The image showed a decline. Why did you say it dominated when the chart showed the highest fluctuation resulting in a steady decline leading into 2050? There is an incorrect analysis in the presentation regarding that section. It isn't 24-65, just 65 year olds.


Use a comparative sentence format for this presentation. Your current presentation is flat and not really informative. make your presentations more lively in an informative manner.


You should refer to the year directly either in a parenthesis or work it into the sentence for clarity and accuracy.

Your overall presentation lacks in creative comparisons that could help boost your LR and GRA scores. While being direct is fine, it sometimes causes a bit of confusion in your presentation. To avoid that next time, consider using a more active voice writing pattern.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 - Marine pollution. Possible causes and effects on people and animals [2]

Your introductory paragraph is a rambling mess of big words and run on sentences that takes too long to paraphrase the original presentation. You also did not respond to the questions in a clearly outlined topic discussion. You are targeting a high LR score right off the bat for some reason. Over emphasizing a discussion with dramatic flair will not be useful to your overall score when you are scored on your ability to use simple, everyday English words. Keep it simple. Use relevant conversational words. There is no room for dramatics like these in a task 2 essay. Don't aim to write a masters thesis at this point. You are not at that level yet. Don't orate, discuss without being pompous.

This is a 4 paragraph essay outlined as:

Par. 1 : Paraphrase + question responses / thesis statement
Par. 2 : Respond/ explaination regarding the question : What are the possible causes of water pollution
Par. 3 : Discuss what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Par. 4 : Summarize the important discussion points previously presented / Repeat your opinion (when required in the original discussion instruction)

Your presentation is impossible to complete within 40 minutes. The required number of discussion paragraphs are indicated in the original prompt. The above outline shows the standard format. The 5 paragraph format is only used when you are instructed to: Discuss both points of view and discuss / give your opinion.

Due to the circumstances surrounding the errors in this presentation, I would rather not consider if this essay will pass or fail. I'll consider that next time, when you write a more appropriate essay, properly based on the given discussion instructions.

Writing Feedback / Everyone has a right to have access to university education without tuition [2]

Your second paragraph should be used to disprove the preceding reasoning paragraph. When you partly agree with the reasoning, you may use a comparative discussion format. However the comparison must be based on the same reasons presented in the first paragraph. Otherwise, you risk losing the cohesiveness of the discussion, thus, affecting your c + c score. Remember, the first C in the score represents cohesiveness or connectivity of discussion points. There are already 2 cohesive discussion topics that prove your partial agreement in the first reasoning paragraph . Let me reference it for you:

Reason 1: Students can easily get access to higher education. ...their living condition.
Reason 2 : However, the abolition of university tuition may have a negative impact on student's academic performance.

Both reasons serve as partial agreement, in a comparative manner, based on the reason of landing on a steady job and bettering their living condition. These 2 reasons can properly, clearly, cohesively, and coherently prove your discussion without the second disconnected paragraph.

Writing Feedback / The chart shows the proportion of women and men in one Asian country who passed their driving test [2]

In the summary overview, the image divisions need to be clearer. A reference to the number of columns representing the years, separated by gender would have made the image reference clearer to the reader. That is because of the actual presentation format you were given to analyze. So the reference point would have been:

The singular, lengthwise bar chart results are divided into 2 genders, male and female, offering measurements representing 4 decades of results starting from... and ending in...for each sex.

Or, something along those lines.


... driving test.
Always refer to the exam. Otherwise, you are just referring to the act of driving. That confuses the meaning of the sentence in terms of CRA considerations.

Except for these errors, you've done an acceptable job here. It can pass the test.

Writing Feedback / Bullying is a big problem in many schools. Causes and solutions [ielts writing p2] [2]

You come in with a strong, although a bit grammatically incorrect (in the first sentence) prompt restatement and thesis statement. You have provided a clear opinion with regards to the causes and possible solution to the issue. You will definitely get a passing TA score because of the easily understandable and well- directed responses.


The correct term, in reference to the preceding presentation, is " attention " and / or "supervision ".


..slums BEING inclined to...


Improper grammar. The proper presentation is : ... of paramount importance... This is a GRA and LR error.


Don't overcomplicate the discussion. Who should be in charge of this ? Teachers or parents ? Use simple responses that will not require a topic deviation to further discuss.


Because? Why? Whose responsibility ? Too much deviated explanations are involved which complicate the discussion Your presentation was off to a good start but, you seem to be losing control with regards to cohesiveness and coherence. Keep it simple to get a better score. Don't over-analyze. Simple discussions and opinions based on personal experience/s would have sufficed This is starting to sound like a thoroughly researched paper which cannot be done during the actual test.

The essay is good and meets the scoring requirements but, may have some LR, GRA, and C + C scoring issues that will hold back the final score.

Undergraduate / My blog - extracurricular activities essay - Undergrad College Application [3]


You need to offer a more solid evidence of you and your blog as influencers. You speak of being a person who enjoys communicating and successfully enacting changes based on your beliefs. There is no information present in the statement to support this claim. I believe this element can be better represented in a new, more integrated response. One that uses 75 words to explain what your blog is about and the other 75 words, to offer supporting evidence of the positive effects it has brought to you and those you interact with via your blog. It does not have to be a 50/50 word split. The word presentation is up to you. I am merely offering a suggestion, not set in stone. Your draft is on the right track, You just need better presentation development.

Writing Feedback / Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. Opinion [2]


Actually, based on the original prompt, the proper term should be " much discussed" as there is no evidence of arguments - ensuing based on the topic as provided. This is a case of incorrect LR usage.

Good job on the integrated question response and thisis statement. While the solutions could have been more direct, it still offers a clear discussion path going forward.



While this shows that you have excellent knowledge of international current events and public knowledge, a reference to how this problem is dealt with in your home country of Vietnam would have been far score increasing. You needed only 1 international reference to prove your point on an international scale.


Repeat the strength of your belief to create a more appropriate reverse summary.

Overall, you did a pretty good job analysing and discussing the topic with negligible errors. You just may pass the test based on this writing. a word of caution though, don't write more than 300 words. short but clear is better scored than length with little developed explanations per reason.

Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing chocolate [2]


Use the word "man made" in reference to its noun form for grammar accuracy. Indicate "in this man..." instead rather than the connecting word "and" to create sentence clarity.


For clarity and information separation indicate these as " ... ' cacao trees from the countries of..."


missing a comma to indicate information separation.


Added information not found in the procedure. This is unnecessary and will not increase your score.


Invalid information. This illustration is not found in the drawing. These types of errors will affect your TA score.

Your main errors relate to GRA and task accuracy presentations. You have a tendency to make up information along the way. While you may think you are filling in the blanks, the reality is, your score will be based on actual provided information. Any inserted information will be seen as misleading the reader and will lower your TA and C + C score.

Writing Feedback / Mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transports [2]


Follow up this statement with your measured agreement to complete the response presentation. Your strong disagreement (Hint) response is all that is missing to help you make this a well scoring TA presentation.


Don't confuse the discussion. Focus on 2 reasons that support your opinion. You will not receive any points for discussions that do not apply to the strengthening of your previous opinion. Focus on the demerits only. You can only present a merit if you will be discrediting it in the paragraph it is included in.


You are discrediting your own opinion which means your opinion is now unclear, resulting in deducted TA points. Words of certainty must always be attached to your opinion.

* Limited review provided. Contact me privately for a scoring review.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 benefits and drawbacks of mobile phone on society, technology and health [2]

Your prompt restatement poses a discussion for a totally different essay. Your interpretation is nowhere near the original discusson topic, references and format. Your TA score will definitely be based on a failing one due to the unrelated topic and discussion format. An accurate restatement always all the original reference points in a manner that shows your understanding of the original presentation. You cannot change any reference points nor discussion style. The essay you present in the first paragraph is a prompt deviation that all but assures you of a final failing score.

Further reading of your presentation shows that you fully did not understand the discussion topic. Hence, the lack of direct and relevant response to the 2 direct questions. Though your presentation is long, the presentation is mostly not connected to the required discussion elements or, where relevant, are under developed in explanation.

You only needed to present 3 reasoning paragraphs of 5 sentences each to respond to the questions. It is your over analysis that brought your response to points where it is sometimes on topic , most of the time off- topic.

What I learned about you from your writing is that you are out to impress, which tends to make you try too hard with your responses when simple and direct answers are all that is required. My advice is this, simplicity of discussion will help go a long way in getting you a passing score when compared to a long-winded, sometimes wandering discussion.Stick to the required discussion points, Give direct responses at the start, and offer properly connected discussion topics per paragraph. Develop clear thoughts and cohesive reasons that connect the 3 suggested topics. Don't over- analyze, just offer an opinion.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1, Common sports played in the UK in 2008. [2]


Add another sentence that enumerates the relevant sports before the trending statement to give the reader a better idea of the upcoming comparative data prior to the tending highlight.


This is not a necessary trending reference. You should have used this somewhere in your analytical paragraphs instead.



No, the reader cannot see the chart. Always assume that you are writing a report for an image that will not be presented and word it accordingly.

Good GRA work in the essay. Your report is simple enough to understand. It avoids the pitfalls of run- on sentences and simple punctuation or single punctuation usage. You varied those enough to show a good grasp and understanding of English grammar and punctuation usage rules.

Writing Feedback / The chart illustrate detailed information about the reasons for students' choice of UK school [3]


Incorrect image identification. The images are pie charts, not bar charts. Even the original descriptive sentence called the images pie charts. Expect TA deductions based on this serious error. Accurately identify the images at all times. This will require you to make the extra effort of familiarizing yourself with all task 1 images for probable task identification .


The images state 1 specific comparison years, not progressing years. Another form of incorrect data presentation, another TA and C + C deduction on your part due to inaccurate information.

The errors you present are already enough to assure you of a failing score and we haven't even gotten to the second paragraph yet. This is a very bad sign related to your analytical abilities which is the number 1 scoring requirement for this task.


Again, there is no year on year comparison evident so you are really failing in the analytical aspect in a serious manner. You are improperly assessing the essay.

You seem to do better in writing direct data related to the percentages /proportions. Maybe because you did not have to analyze that information.

Writing Feedback / People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills [3]


Your informative response based on the prompt requirement is incorrect and offers a prompt deviation. The response required is in disagreement based on your emotional support for the given statement. The question was: To what extent do you agree or disagree? Rather than offering a response based on strength of personal belief, you offered an unclear and unelated opinion response instead. Even in the conclusion, you stated :


which is still an incorrect response because it lacks the measured response strength. Your TA score fails twice:
- Unrelated prompt response in the prompt restatement
- Incorrect response format in the concluding summary

Review the proper response format for a measured response essay. I believe you are unfamiliar with this advanced writing task. You better start with the simple task questions for now.

Writing Feedback / Many children, spend hours by the screens, and it is detrimental to them [2]


Too many reasons involved in what should only bea 4 paragraph essay. Good work on presenting an immensely clear s with a valid thesis statement based on discussion reasons. I also appreciate the varied punctuation usage in this paragraph. You can increase your CRX score this way.


Focus on limited but well explained reasons. In this paragraph, you confuse the reader due to lack of proper examples and defensive explanations. Remember C+ C seoks are based on understandable explanations, not number of reasons per paragraph.


Blend this as a supporting reason in the previous paragraph. Use a transition word, phrase, or sentence to accomplish this. since the reasons are related, it will boost your TA and C + C score.


Use this as a reminder paragraph. Briefly repeat your reasons to show your reverse paraphrase skills as required in a summary conclusion.

Writing Feedback / In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animal as food or to use animal products [2]

You cannot use uncited information in a task 2 essay. Do not get used to using this incorrect writing format. Restate the topic in general terms.


This is a part of your defense statement. Use this as a part of your reasoning topic after your extent response.


LR error. The correct phrase is "creativeness of chefs" Please note:

creative - originative; productive

creativeness- having the quality or power of creating

Refer to word meaning clarity in this instance.


This is incorrect reasoning. Vegetarians do not eat meat of any sort. You just contradicted your own opinion, creating a confusing opinion.

In reality, your discussion is confusing. You state one reason in the first paragraph, then discuss howmeat is mixed inthe a vegetarian diet. Needless to say, it is difficult to understand the point of your presentation. You are incoherent. Perhaps you are translating from your mother tongue to English, which caused the confusion.

Scholarship / Personal Statement for apply GKS-U 2022 - Dept. of Nuclear Engineering [3]

It istoo lally for you to be writing your personal statement ffor the scholarship. Applications are still closed so the updated prompt requirements for the next application cycle are still unkown. You cannot pre-empt the requirements and waste the effort you put into writing the paper if the prompts change then. You should wait and see what will be required of you to write when the time comes. You can keep this as a draft, just in case.

I will comment on your work but don't make any changes as yet due to the reasons I previously indicated.

The actual writing is fractured and lacking in connected development. Your experience in Malaysia is a good reference point but should be used to fully explain how this influenced your course choice. The reasons you have for choosing Korea are not convincing at all and sounds like you are just paying lip-service to the reviewer. Had you written this during the actual application reason, I would be in a better position to help you improve this essay. I don't want to give you blind advice for improvement that might be a futile exercise. Wait for the next application season and get back to me then with a new or improved application essay.

Writing Feedback / Parents or school? Who will teach children to be good citizens? [5]


Not adults. It is the responsibility of parents. Adults is the incorrect synonym to use. By the way. you cannotstate this as a fact because it is presented asan opinion of one group in the prompt. Your version should reflect that.


Not can teach but should teach. You are basically responding to the question," Who is responsible?".


Word usage error.Did you mean experience instead ? There is no connection between the topic, teacher, and experiments.

You failed to explain why teachers cannot appropriately teach their students to be good citizens. The reasons you gave indicate why they can do it, not why they will fail to do it. Unless you can explain why the reasons you presented make the lessons impossible, your opinion becomes unclear to the reader.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2 - government and traffic combination topic [3]

Your essay is going to recieve an overall failing score due to several reasons, all based on the scoring cubic. You cannot expect to receive a passing score due to an essay that confuses the reader and suffers from improper word usage, incoherent explanations, and stressful grammar issues. You are only ffocused on word usage. Do not believe anyone who tells you thatyou can focus only on one scoring aspect for a good score. If you keep using advanced English words improperly, your sentences fail to make sense and will result in a failed LR score. A long but incomprehensible essay such as this will only serve to getyou the lowest possible final score.

Go back to the basics. By that, I mean, emoll in basic English lessons first. You really need the lessons in basic English vocabulary and basic English sentence structure and development.

Writing Feedback / Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school. What are the reasons? [2]


Use a general referenceinstead. That is because you are not being asked if the information presented is true or false. A better starling point would have been:

Generally speaking, students have been finding it hard...

In that response format, you are not attesting to anything, just making a non - referencing observation. That is more prompt adherent.


Tell me what your response is. Create the discussion outline for the benefit of the examiner. He already knows the questions. He wants to know what your answers are to the cause and solution qquestions. This immediately tells him if you understood the instructions or not for the TA score.


This is a redundant prompt paraphrase. Do the paraphrase only once. Do not use it as word fillers in the reasoning paragraphs. Topic sentence introductions are more useful in there paragraph sections.


Wrong. This creates an incoherent paragraph. For coherence, connect the lack of sleep to the previous reason which is homework. You will get better C + C scores that way based an topic clarity and connectivity


What solution are you opposing? You haven't presented any yet. That phrase is only used to oppose previous information. That is misplaced in this paragraph and will affect your GRA score. Reason? Inappropriate phrase usage. Your solutions do nottotally wlate to your reasons so that maybethe cause of additional C+C deductions as well.

Your concluding summary does not contain a run-down of the previous discussion topic, reasons, and solutions. Itis incorrectly formatted for the task.

Writing Feedback / Coffee and tea lovers in Australia - IELTS Academic Writing Part 2 - Cambridge 15 Test 1 [2]

318 words are expected in a task 2 essay. The task 1 essay requires between 150-200 words only. Even if you can type fast, you cannot accomplish all of the required editing elements for the task in 20 minutes. You don't get extra points for an over- analyzed essay, but it does result in more writing and glammas enors on your part. You need to write a short analysis or report, not a research paper.

I cannot fully assess your paper for accuracy due to the lack of image. I'll review your work based on obvious errors instead. Here we go.

You mentioned that the image provided is a chart. The problem with that reference is that it uses a general rather than a specific image identifier. Part of the task accuracy score comes from how well you identify the important data provided. That includes the type of image Why? Every image has several types or versions. When you present a report, the type of image is a requirement. I am not just talking about Task I essays, I am talking about college. masters, and PhD writing requirements. That academic qualification helps your score in the IELTS.

* Limited review due to lack of image. Provide an image next time.

Writing Feedback / The comparison of total water utilized for different purposes in Sydney between 1997 and 2007 [2]


Summarize the purposes as part of the important data short presentation. Mention the measurement type as well for information accuracy. You don't need to mention actual measurements, just the basis of the water measurements.


What are the numerical references? Your reader will be confused by this reference as there is no factual data included.


Add the word "respectively " before the period to indicate successively listed / related information based on prior mention.


Singular word presentation indicating ownership. Incorrect word and punctuation usage. The correct reference is "industries" which is the plural form of the word you wanted to use.


Incorrect sentence format. This is another GRA deduction. correct format:

The same picture observed the amount of water used...


Why did you not complete the sentence? Or, was it completed with an incorrect punctuation mark? You seem to have heavy GRA issues. Try to review English grammar usage before you write another essay. At this rate, nothing will be left of your GRA score, which might make you fail the test.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: My Father - Write about someone who inspires you [2]

The introduction should not focus on the importance of family since that is a general statement. The target person in this essay is your father. Use the introduction to explain how you view the importance of a father in your life. Introduce his character as the embodiment of a good feather, husband, and head of family in relation to how he influences you, your siblings, mother, or his co-farmers. You are not representing all the descriptive points from the instruction. You are talking about him only in relation to you which, although a part of the presentation, is not the only aspect to be presented. Good conclusion though. It sums up your positive thoughts about your father perfectly.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing Part 2 - Strict punishment on road offences [2]

The prompt restatement should be divided into 2 separate sentences since these are 2 conflicting ideas and reasoning presentations. It is also - a thisis statement based on your opinion. You mistakenly placed that personal point of view in the concluding paragraph. The incorrect placement of your opinion made the essay presentation incorrect. You will definitely not get a passingTA score because of there format errors. Your personal opinion needs to be just as well explained as the public opinions so that you can create a relevant concluding paraphrase.

The discussion presentations are on point for the most part. In both paragraphs, the under-development comes from the 2nd and 3nd reasons presented. The first reason is normally well explained but the successive reasons are not. You need to use reasons that support one another in the paragraphs. Your reasons are mostly stand alone and need clearly explained individual paragraphs to better explain these to the reader.. What you need, for C + C purposes, are 2 reasons that clearly connect in the paragraphs. That way you don't need to try to develop clear and related explanations for unrelated topics.

Writing Feedback / The point of view for the situation when the young generation is a big part of society [2]

You will not get a passing score in any section of this test. Your prompt restatement is confusing and does not give an accurate restatement of the original prompt. The second sentence of the first paragraph does not deliver an understandable staliment. It lacks clarity and meaning. At this point, I cannot even tell if you are anywhere near the correct restated reasoning and thesis response.

You have a serious LR problem in this presentation. You repeatedly refer to juveniles and adolescents, meaning teens and Ple-teens. The essay refers to adults. So you are definitely not using the correct synonyms in this essay. That is only the start of the presentation issues in your work. Please provide the prompt next time to get a more precise review.

* Limited review provided due to lack of prompt and complex errors. contact me privately for the - possibility of an expanded review.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Many things can influence the academic achievements and emotional growth of a student [2]

In the first paragraph, deliver the subject of the sentence before the resulting action. Whose academic and emotional development ends up being influenced by these people ? Word equivalents you can use are learners, peers, young people. to mention a few. The first sentence lacks clarity because you forgot to mention the subject of the sentence. You gave an acceptable extent response, based on choices from the original. The thesis statement is ok. If you included 2 reasoning references, it would have been even better because of the solid discussion foundation presented.


Grammar problem. Every references a single piece while students is the plural forum of student . You cannot combine singular and plural references in a sentence. Use the singular form of students. Familiarize yourself with singular V. plural usage.

Good work keeping on track with your single opinion defense. You showed cohesive and coherent discussions throughout which will allow you to get a high C + C score. It works well. However,the concluding paragraph is less than 40 words. This means your summary conclusion is weak and could reduce the TA score in terms of reverse paraphrase accuracy.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Bring in foreign workers [2]


Wrong word usage. By meaning this refers to: a fact, occurrence, or circumstance observed or observable. Use a more natural sounding word. The descriptive word "occurrence" would be more appropriate to use. Though phenomenon is a more high brow sounding word. It does not naturally fit into the written piece. The LR score increases not through - the use of complicated words, but through the proper use of everyday, commonly used English words . Regardless of the simplicity of the word being used. When used to infer the collect meaning, it helps your score.

You created a discussion deviation which means you have not properly responded to the discussion question. for your reference :

O.Q . : To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: As far as I am concerned, this policy should be abolished because it has a negative effect on the local inhabitants.

You failed to give an extent response. Instead you gave a personal opinion that does not respond to the direct question. You responded in an incorrect format that would result in a failing TA score.


This is your direct response to the question. It should be in the prompt paraphrase response section first, then repeated in the conclusion second to meet the correct response format requirement.

Research Papers / Positive work environment and how it influences your work result [2]


Since this is your thesis statement, you cannot use an in-text citation for it. Rather, it would be more acceptable foryou to restate this in your own words witha simple reference to the author as the source of your understanding.


There is a missing reference word. The meaning is not clear in the presentation. Review this section for meaning.


Same problem as the one above.


How does Richardson connect to Oswald? Don't just keys using quotations without properly explaining or connecting these. Your paper will lose sense and meaning if you keep doing this.

The essay is too reliant on citations. The citations cannot be used in totality to create a comprehensive paper. You do not show how or what you learned from the research due to theproliferation of citations and lack of comprehensive explanations for it.

Writing Feedback / The proportion of inhabitants by a variety of age groups in a city participated music events from 20 [2]


Preciseness is key when describing the image source due to the mental picture, or imagined measurement chart. This will bethe basis of the measurement data for the reader, so identify it properly. Differentiate it from the other graph types.


Corrected: ... city THAT participated IN music...

That - pronoun that refers to degree as indicated

In - preposition used to indicate inclusion

Next time complete the summary overview by including a reference to the age indicators / brackets provided to offer a more complete summary. Additionally , use the age references in the paragraphs for clarity. You don't inform the reader of anything clearly when you refer to oldest and medium age in the report. The age brackets provide that clarity.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Discuss both view: Economic is the most important goal [2]


I love this part of your presentation. You successfully indicated 2 important elements in this presentation:

- The comparative discussion reference
- Your opinion + thesis statement

Such a strong task response indicates:

- Good English comprehension skills
- strong restatement skills
- A clearly supported opinion / thesis statement

These are the positive points that will earn you a high preliminary TA score, all but assuring you of at least, a passing score. Now, let's talk about your response formatting error that pulled back your ability to score higher.

I wish that you had used the clearer 3 paragraph format for your response. Why the 3 paragraph response ? Review the discussion requirement. Discuss both views ( 1 paragraph each) and give your own opinion (1 paragraph) . Consider the following based on your statement that :


Use one paragraph each to support the merit of each. Help the reader understand where the public reasons are right. Those reasons are inferred in the original prompt. further increase your TA score by doing this. Prove heightened C+c abilities on your part by connecting the 3 discussions. Make sure you save your strongest explanation for your opinion since it must stand alone.

You did an acceptable job here but, in my opinion, it could have been better presented and scored.

Writing Feedback / The information on the proportion of the entire population of the world over 100 years [2]

You need to learn how to better develop and present your sentence ideas per paragraph. Your sentences are understandable, but lack proper punctuation that can help your writing be easier and better understood. Your sentences need pause points for clarity. Pause points are represented by comma, period, and other punctuation marks as dividing points for topics or thoughts within the sentences and paragraphs. Avoid using combined idea sentences to help determine the proper pause insertion points. Write short, rather than long sentences. Pay attention to your word usage. You won't increase your LR score by writing long passages using words that don't really help with the quick comprehension of your sentences.

* Limited review due to lack of image. Upload the image next time.

Writing Feedback / The diagram shows the process for labelling shellfish for the international market. [2]


What sort of diagram ? Was it an illustration? A procedural drawing? Clarify. When indicating the image type because there are over a dozen types of images for this task. A clear identification helps the TA score. What is the most important aspect of the process that can represent the trending or highlight portion?

The process explanation feels rushed. As if you skipped a few steps. Maybe you did or, maybe not. I can't really tell due to lacking information. You forgot to provide a copy of the image for my assessment of your writing. Without it, I cannot tell if the score you were given is correct, where your errors are, and how you can improve your writing for future use. Upload the image next time.

* Limited review provided due to lack of image for review reference.

Writing Feedback / Population Growth in New Zealand over the years [2]

Your first sentence fails to clearly offer a summary overview. a clear summary overview is delivered over 5 sentences at the most, 3 in the least. That is because individual topic sentences allow you to clearly prove your ability to express yourself in simple and complex sentences. Your clarity of thought, in terms of delivering quick understanding of image information points in the first paragraph selves as an important C+C boost. sAn example of an unclear thought presentation in this paragraph is the reference to 100 years that started in a50. When does it end ? Based on the graph, it ends in 2050. When you state a stailing year, include the end year. this isa summary presentation. don't make the reader do the math. That is your job as the reporter.


Redundant past time reference. Remove "was" since decreased already represents the past action reference. This is a GRA error.

You are overcomplicating your presentation by over stating the facts. While writing long passages somewhat helpin a task 2 presentation, it creates a confusing and grammar error riddled task 1 presentation. These are the main score reducing problems in your current task presentation. Practice writing using quick information presentations. Pick your analysis and comparison paragraph topics in the draft. Use highlights and keep the information short. Anything between 175-190 words will limit your writing errors, keep the presentation clear, and allow you to maximize positive scoring opportunities.

Student Talk / Info about direct PhD in Aerospace engineering [2]

It is difficult to judge if you can qualify directly for a PhD program based only on these credentials. While there are programs that accept non- masters students into their PhD programs, the students accepted have commensurate work experience equivalent to masters knowledge and experience. Your claims to qualification for the program are only partially responsive.

The reviewers will need to consider your practical experience, along with the published research you have to offer. You may or may not qualify at certain universities based on their candidate requirements. It might boil down to relevant work experience for you since your undergrad course is somewhat related to the PhD program. Having publications related to the course requirements, as well as attendance at relevant seminars and conferences may be considered, in some cases, as a masters equivalent.

The really good PhD programs have stringent requirements for their applicants. Most of them will have at least a decade of relevant work experience, even without a masters course. I am not saying you don't have a chance of getting into a good masters program. You just need to make sure that you meet the equivalency qualifications in a strong manner to compete as an applicant.

Look into the candidate qualifications of the university you are interested in attending. Then, based on your actual qualifications, consider how to go about your application. I am not saying that you will or won't get in. all I am saying is. you can apply and see how it goes from there.