Holt Educational Consultant
Apr 13, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Formal Letter: college cafeteria lunch [2]
The first sentence in the letter is too abrupt. You need to have a formal and cordial opening paragraph prior to declaring your problem with the cafeteria. Review the slant of the discussion presentation in the original prompt. Each prompt reflects the function of each paragraph. The first sentence you are using does not fall in line with the expected presentation format. There are 3 discussion paragraph topics required. There should be 3 discussion paragraphs provided in the body excluding the opening salutation ( Dear Sir or Madam) and concluding paragraph + closing salutation.
Make your attendance at the school more definite. Indicate your full name, student number, major, and year level of attendance at the university. This will help give weight to your concern and force the reader to take your letter seriously.
The first sentence in the letter is too abrupt. You need to have a formal and cordial opening paragraph prior to declaring your problem with the cafeteria. Review the slant of the discussion presentation in the original prompt. Each prompt reflects the function of each paragraph. The first sentence you are using does not fall in line with the expected presentation format. There are 3 discussion paragraph topics required. There should be 3 discussion paragraphs provided in the body excluding the opening salutation ( Dear Sir or Madam) and concluding paragraph + closing salutation.
Make your attendance at the school more definite. Indicate your full name, student number, major, and year level of attendance at the university. This will help give weight to your concern and force the reader to take your letter seriously.