Writing Feedback / Students should choose fields based on their preferences or just focus on job related subjects? [3]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

individual passion or market demands?

Some people maintain that students in university should choose their fields based on their preferences, whereas others think that students should prioritize the future job demands, and only focus on subjects related about them. This essay will discuss both these views and from my perspective, students should select what they want to.

Preference plays an important role in choosing career for college students. First and foremost, it helps students acknowledge what they are truly talented about, so that he or she can have motivation to get to work every day, despite its adversity. For instance, if a teacher loves their job, he or she will be cheerful to go to school everyday and dedicated to make an intriguing syllabus for students. Although the income is modest compared to other occupations and it requires high responsibility, but with sense of honor and pride to their carrer, it is their pleasure to guide the youngsters to the brigher future. Secondly, students who take courses due to passion will be more likely to obtain a successful career after graduate than those who do not, as they have a specific goal on what are they pursing and the mindset of venturing the risks.

On the other hand, future potential fields are also an indispensible part to be considered. As the development of society nowadays, there are several fields that need a plethora number of workers in the near future, such as laws, Information and Technology and medical. Those potential jobs offer the graduate many benefits with high salary, good reputation in society and stability, thus it can be a personal sake for students to choose these fields.

In conclusion, whether it is for interest or future request purposes, individual passion is over marketing demands.

Writing Feedback / The pollution of water in rivers, lakes and seas - Writing task 2 IELTS. [4]

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment.

What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Writing

Water Pollution Worries

Water plays an indispensable role in our life. However, the contamination of underwater ground is extremely a concern for human being. This essay will cite out its primary causes and the consequences to human and animal life.

To begin with, there are various components that make the water resources polluted. Firstly, sewage wastes are identified as the most serious issue to the water. As the rapid development of industry, especially after the Industrial Innovation in the 19th century, a plethora number of factories have been constructed. Despite the economic benefits and the solution of unemployment, the enviroment has been neglected by the governments, especially water matters, as the enterprises keep dumping the wastes directly to the river without processing. Secondly, the overuse of pesticides and fertilizers also aggravates the water enviroment. As a result, the toxic chemical substances absorb in the soils, and they can be readily washed out by rain, in which later flow into the streams and lakes.

Water contamination has a disastrous impact on faunas and society. The dilemna leads to the habitat loss of underwater creatures. For instance, the Formosa incident occured in 2016 in the central of Vietnam. They illegally dumped the wastes into the sea, consequently, vast number of dead fish and shrimps floated in the sea, many local people were unemployed. In additon, the low quality of water can cause the shortage of water in the future, as the amount of fresh water accounts for 3% out of total water supply in the earth. If this problem keeps happening, it is estimated that by 2050, approximately 50% of global population will lack of clean water, which result in dehydration.

In conclusion, water pollution is extremely a tremendous worry for people, because of its detrimental effects. Therefore, the federal authorities and individuals should take action immediately to tackle this problem, as well as to save the planet Earth.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 IELTS. Rising temperature globally on the Earth [3]

human activities are blamed for the heating up

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher.

What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem?

Essay

The rising of temperature on the Earth has been concerning in the modern world nowadays. It is evident that human activities are blamed for the heating up. This essay will point out the primary causes and the key to tackling this issue.

To begin with, there are various factors that contribute to the sudden heating of the globe by humankind. Firstly, the exploitaion of forests over the decades is believed to be the foremost perpetrator. It is said that trees are the lungs of planet Earth, yet people keep taking out the timbers of trees for space demands and wooden needs. Consequently, less oxygen and cool air to be provided. Secondly, as the rapid advancement of industrialization, plethora of factories have been built. Aggravatedly, the smokes from the chimneys release to the sky excessively, which later gradually shatter the ozones and worseningly, the extreme shines from sun can readily reach out to the Earth.

There are suggested solutions to address the dilemma. It is necessary to preserve the remaining forests on the Earth, as they are the indispensible components that offering green shelters. In addition, the governments should encourage their citizens to plant more trees in empty areas. Finally, as current natural resources heat up the temperature, discovering its alternatives is also an option. Wind and solar energy are great methods to be considered, due to its enviromentally-friendliness.

In conclusion, tree cutting down and factories are mainly identified to cause the increase of global temperatures. Tree preservation and switching a new form of resources are introduced to resolve the problems.

Any feedbacks are all highly appreciated. Thanks.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 IELTS. These days people in some countries are living in a "throw-away" society [3]

"Throw-away" effect

These days people in some country are living in a "throw-away" society which mean people use things in a short time then throw them away.

What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My writing

Nowadays, in some country, people tend to buy things temporarily and then abandon them. This detrimental trend is explained by the rise of consumerism and inflating commercials in modern society, which leads to the economic and enviromental problems. Some measures are introduced to mitigate those issues.

The foremost reason of this dilemma is that the tendancy of consumerism. Thanks to the greatly-improved living standard, the revenue of people has increased over the decades. Nevertheless, some people have adapted an over-spending lifestyle without thinking whether they truly utilize it or not. When they lose interests, they simply throw them away spontaneously. Furthermore, the encouragous commercials of enterprises also cause the effect of overconsuming. Those companies solely concentrate on inviting more customers to buy their products without guiding them making its effective uses.

Both aforementioned purposes result in negative consequences. As people invariably purchase goods without utilizing, they will suffer from a huge waste amount of money. Those expenditures would better spend for more productive purposes if they knew how to wisely restrict their money consuming. In addition, on account of more and more goods are being thrown away from households, it will creat tons of garbage annually, in which later spread out to the nature and directly diminish the places we are living.

Some steps can be taken to resolve the issues. People are advised to think twice before purchasing something, they should ask themselves whether those things are literally necessary for their daily life. Finally, if there are some redundant things, it is highly recommended that people either sell it over the internet, or donate them to those in needs in mountainous areas.

In conclusion, the prevalance of buying things can have a disastrous impact on financial matters and the enviroments, in which are mainly caused by consumerism and the exaggerated advertisements.

(303 words)

I am simply practicing with my IELTS essays, so I did not put time pressure on my writing. However I've written a little long in this one. If possible, can somebody give me an advice how to shorten this essay, as well as pointing out the mistakes in my work and giving a score. I'd be glad with your feedbacks.

Writing Feedback / Data of Trenton-Mercer Airport, Paying Passengers in New Jersey. [3]

I chose randomly chart from the internet as a practice of IELTS writing task 1, since I have not practiced this method of test for a while. Any dedicated suggestions and guidances are all highly appreciated.

Original source: nj./mercer/index.ssf/2018/07/passenger_traffic_jumped_30_percent_at_this_nj_air.html#incart_2box_nj-homepage-featured

My writing

passenger traffic at the Airport in New Jersey

The bar chart illustrates the number of people visiting to the Trenton Mercer Airport in New Jersey during the 2011-2017 period. As can be seen clearly from the chart, while the year 2015 witnessed the largest amount of customers, the beginning of the period welcomed the least passengers.

To begin with, there were roughly 3400 visitors to the airport in 2011. The number of guests to the airport slightly incresed of 3000 people in the following year, which suprisingly soared up to 147.826 people in 2013. The dramatic growth kept acelerating in one year later, and reached a peak with approximately 390.000 visitors in 2015. After that there was a sudden downfall of the figure for people paying for the Airport of 100.000 people the next year, which later had a recovery to 363.626 people in 2017.

To conclude, the 2011-2012 period underwent the small number of people visiting to the Airport, whereas the booming tendancy happened during the last five years..

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1. Survey about suitable age for granting certain rights. [4]

some rights at an eligible age

The figure shows the results of a survey of 1000 adolescents in five different countries. The participants were asked at what age they believed certain rights and responsibilities should be granted to young people.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature.

My writing

The bar chart illustrates a result from a survey of a thousand teenagers conducted in five different countries about the eligible age that people can grant certain rights.

As can be seen clearly from the chart, the age for marriage and voting were over 15.

From the given data, Japanese and British juveniles agreed that the marrying age should be greater than 20, whereas the American's thought was 18 and the belief of Mexican and Egytian in this questionaire was 16. In term of voting, youngters from Japan opined that the suitable age was excactly 20. In contrast, the figures for the other four countries were under 20, with 18 for American and Egytian and 16 for British and Mexican.

As for the criminal accountabilities, Japanese adolesencts' conviction was 18. Both British annd Mexican shared the opinion of reasonable age which was 15. The age figures for the USA and Egypt were 12 and 14 respectively.

Any suggestions are appreciated.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1. Different genres of transport used to commute in a European city. [2]

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The proportion of people and their commuting method

My writing

The bar chart indicates certain types pf transport used to commute in one European city during the 1980-2000 period.

As can be seen clearly from the chart, while there were more people using car, the reverse result was for bus.

The proportion of people utilizing train was approximately 20% in 1960, then there was a noticable growth in the next 20 years to 27%, which followed by a decline to 22% in 2000. The figure for tube made up above 25% at the beginning of the period, later dropped to almost 20% in 1980 and witnessed a recovery to excactly 25% in 2000.

As for car data, it only accounted for under 10% of commuters initially. Twenty years later, there was a dramatic increase to 23%, followed by another sharp rocket to above 35% in 2000. In contrast, bus was the most common transport in 1960 with approximately 40% users, which underwent two rapid downfalls in the following 20 and 40 years, with 26% and 15% respectively.

All feedbacks are going to be held of value by me.

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Writing Feedback / Prevalance of supermarket leads to the death of smaller bussinesses? IELTS writing task 2 [3]

many small, local businesses are unable to compete with the big supermarkets

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.[/b]

[b]To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My writing

In recent years, the prevalance of supermarkets in some countries causes the disadvantages for the small businesses. Some people believe the inactivity of these businesses lead to the death of local communities. I partially agree with this stament and the explanations will be cited out below.

It is undeniable that there are growing numbers of shopping markets being built in several countries which dominant over minor businesses. The first and foremost reason is that these supermarkets are financially supported by enterprises, therefore they offer variety of products with different brands and usages. Thus, they attract more customers to spend their budgets on. Another thing to be identified is that those goods of supermarkets are usually undergone strict quality checks by authorities, in which scarcely be found in smaller businesses. Hence, buyers will choose supermarkets as a reliable sources for daily demands.

Nevertheless, the local businesses cannot be executed. This can be explained by the closeness between these businesses and people. For instance, despite more shopping centers being opened in some undeveloped areas in Vietnam, minor businesses can still survive because they understand the locals' needs and they are readily able to communicate with customers, which is not prevalent at all in national supermarkets. In addition, some stocks of supermarkets are imported from smaller businesses, in which creat more income and job opportunites for those local companies.

In conclusion, the commoness of shopping centers can result in the underdog of many tiny businesses, yet it is unlikely to claim that this is the end of smaller businesses in the future.

It looks like I have trouble with thesis stament in the introduction, and the conclusion is somewhat iffy in my opinion. Any helps are all be held of value by me.

Writing Feedback / School funding in a particular UK school. IELTS writing task 1. [3]

the percentage of expenditure of a UK school

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My writing

The three pie charts illustrate the percentage of expenditure of a UK school during the 1981, 1991 and 2001 period.

As can be seen clearly from these charts, while Teacher's incomes were spent the most, the reverse results were true for the Insuarance during the three year period.

To begin with, Teacher's salaries made up 40% in 1981. It accounted for half of total school budget in 1991 and later witnessed a slight decrease to 45% in 2001. There was a tiny increse of 1% to 3% in Insuarance spending from 1981 to 1991, which underwent a noticable growth to 8% ten years later.

As for Furniture and Equipment and Resources, both datas accounted for 15% at the beginning of the period. While the figure for Resources grew slightly to 20% in 1991, the expense for Furniture slipped sharply to 5% at the same time. However, the fund for furniture rocketed to 23% in 2001, whereas the figure for Resources saw a significant downward to 9%. Other workers' salaries witnessed declining trends throughout the period, with 28%, 22% and 15% in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2. Sense of competion or teamwork? Which one is better? [5]

the competition issue among young people

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My writing

Some people are of the opinion that sense of competing is advised to be concentrated on youngsters, whereas others think teaching how to teamwork is more beneficial for them afterwards. This essay will discuss both views and I shall give my own opinion later.

On the side of juveniles who are imposed of competing, this is a great method for self-improvement. When teenagers are forced to be in competitve enviroment, they will have tremendous motivation to surpass other opponents and reach the highest achievement. Therefore, this driving force stimulates these determined children to attempt constantly. Thus, they can be a successful individual with their restless efforts, which sets a good example for other teenagers and adults.

On the other hand, teaching young children how to collaborate with other people offers more advantages for them. In modern society nowadays, in order to obtain a prosperous carrier, youngsters are highly recommended to work with other co-workers. By acquiring teamwork skills, teenagers will not feel isolated and pressurable because there are other ones who will support them. This technique also teaches them to be more responsible because the mechanism of co-operation is one for all.

Personally, I agree with the idea of collaboration teaching on children. On account of teamwork plays a pivotal role in working enviroment, so children who gain this skill are more likely to be an excellent leader in the future, as they can understand how to use other people. In contrast, competing can have a negative impact on children, because those teenagers are always on the mindset of winning and this dilemma can lead to psychological problems.

In conclusion, both aforementioned statements have bright sides for children. However, teamwork is more appreciated because it is an essential skills in modern world and it lessens the pressure and teaches the accountability.

I always have trouble with concluding. Can anyone have an idea/sample suggestion to polish my conclusion? Also, give feedback on this essay. Thanks.

Writing Feedback / Motor use. Problems and solutions. IELTS task 2 [3]

motorbikes are widely utilized in some countries

The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, it has become a status symbol. Its use, though, has impacted negatively on city centres as a whole.

What are some serious problems brought about by private motor vehicle use? How can its use be reduced?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My writing

Nowadays, especially in developing countries, motorbikes are widely utilized by people due to its flexibility in commuting. However, it is said that there are shortcomings influenced on urban areas. This essay will cite out some issues related to the dilemma and steps to tackle.

To begin with, the prevalence of motorbikes is identified as the main factor of traffic congestion in rush hour. Taking Hanoi, which is a capital city of Vietnam as an example, in the constraint time of 5 p.m to 6h30 p.m is totally a nightmare for its citizens because of loads motors got stucked in the streets in an irritating phenamenon. Alongside the traffic problem is the enviromental hurdles, in which is explained by the release of fumes from motorbikes into the air. This issue is one of the major components contributed to the rising of global temperature. Another point to be considered, motorbikes are the dominant reason that causes mishaps annually. This is an act of people's low courtesy, when they take advantages of the flexibility of motorbikes to go through the red traffic light sometimes.

Some measures are taken to address the issue. The first solution is that the goverments should raise taxes on motorbikes. By applying that technique, people will be less likely to access to this commuting method. Moreover, the local authorities are advised to concentrate on developing public transports, in order to encourage local metropolicians to consume less private transports.

In conclusion, the tendancy of motorbikes results in negative impact on cities. This issue can cause traffic jam, damage the enviroment and arise accidents every year. Therefore, interest increase and the widespread of public transports are the keys to resolve the dilemma.

I have questions: How many times should a word be repeated in an essay? And how or when can you repeat a word?

Writing Feedback / Practical intelligence or academic intelligence? IELTS writing task 2. [2]

pragmatic skills versus academic knowledge

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In job's market nowadays, it is said that owning pragmatic skills is much more appreciated than academic knowledge. Therefore in the future, people do not need formal certifications in order to seek for a job. I partially agree with this idea and I shall explain why.

To begin with, individuals obtaining the capability of resolving in real life problems will be more advantagous when applying for an enterprise. Such skills play an indispensible role in working enviroment these days, which consist of establishing social relationships, problem solvings, dealing with various personalities and so on. Whoever acquire these aforementioned components will have greater opportunities to have a prosperous career. Moreover, companies nowadays concentrate more on recruiting applicants who have a wide range of skills beside his or her rough skills, with belief of those people will have new initatives in developing the company itself.

On the other hand, speacialization is a necessary factor, which is also known as the foundation part of job function. This is why this skill cannot be disappered, on account of job hunters need to know what their occupation is about and how to do it. For instance, an IT programmer wish to create a game or a website, so he must know how to code, which is a compulsory requirement for a programmer. Another example is a pilot needs to be knowledgable about an airplane and how to drive it in various weather conditions.

In conclusion, it is true that developing soft skills will bring more benefits for employees. However I possibly argue the essence of academic skills, which is still needed in today society and in the future.

This is a fixed essay with additional words added but my previous draft only had under 240 words. How do you can manage to organize your essay under timing constraint and anticipating word counts? I'd highly appreciate your advice. It is problematic to me that in the type of Discuss both views and give your opinion essay I tend to over exceed the word count, and this type of essay I usually have trouble with wordy quantity.

Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 ielts. Teenage crime issue. 'Why an how' essay. [5]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries.
Discuss some possible reasons and suggest solutions.

the escalation of youngsters crimes

Writing

Nowadays, in many countries, the percentage of criminals who are under 18 has witnessed a dramatic growth. The lack of parental supervision and negative influences from other peers are identified as the root of the trending. Therefore, both parents and educators take responsibility to mitigate the dilemma.

To begin with, inadequate control from family members can enable adolecents to inappropriate activities outside. It is explained that these days, parents tend to concentrate on making ends meet and working extra-hours. As a result, they are too hectic with their job and they barely have some leisure times with their children. Without guidance from adults, juveniles feel lonely and unloved, thus those pity teenagers will choose to socialise with other people outside as a way of escaping tedious scenarios. Consequently, adolecents will contact bad-influential peers, and they will be tempted to engage illegal activities, namely smoking, vandalisim and fighting.

Parents and school authorities play a pivotal role to address the act of teenage crime. Firstly, parents are highly recommended to reduce working hours, in order to have more times with their sons or daughters. They should let their adolecents share his or her internal issues, and then co-oparating with them to overcome the adversity. In addition, parents can creat a warm phenomenon among family members, as well as teenagers by going for a picnic or going to a restaurant in the weekend. Secondly, teachers can propagate to students about what and what not to do, alongside organising more extra - curriculums in academic life.

In conclusion, it can be seen that the escalation of youngsters who commit crime is resulted from the off-guardness of parents. However, there are some measures to tackle this issue, by cutting the amount of time working from parents and the propagandas from teachers.

Can anyone give me some feedbacks and band score for this essay? Thanks.