Undergraduate / My career goal is to become a medical scientist and Mayo Clinic College - Summer Research Fellowship [2]

Research Fellowship Essay

Hi, can someone please help me edit this essay for a summer research fellowship. It is the personal statement that I am planing on submitting. I really would like to know how the essay stands up to now, in terms of language structure/ syntax / grammar. Story flow and overall appearance. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Living in poverty for most of my childhood, has been a pivotal factor in stimulating my interest for a career as a medical physician. Since a very young age, I struggled seeing how my mother battled the dreadful effects of Diabetes. Seeing her struggle to take pills after pills to help treat such pernicious disease was mind bugling for me to witness. Part of the reason for this was because I was only five years old when she was diagnosed with the disease, while she was twenty-six. This experience has enabled me to become profusely introspective about not only Diabetes but also other types of autoimmune diseases, with the hope of one day being a pioneering contributor to a possible cure. For this reason, only a career in medicine and research would offer me the opportunity to live a life committed to learning new things related to autoimmune diseases and other pathological illnesses. My exposure to small research opportunities in my school have given me the ability to know that this is something that I truly want to do for the rest of my existence. These small research experiences have little by little indulged me in a world of intellectuality and incredible wonders.

My career goal is to become a medical scientist, and obtain both my doctorate and medical degree, in a field that would allow me to study the connectivity between autoimmune diseases and the biology of the brain. For this reason, one of my short-term goals is to obtain my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and Biology with a specialization in Neuroscience. It is my hope to spend approximately five years completing this degree, as I have also taken on the responsibility of completing my premedical requirements. With the fifth and extra year as an undergraduate student, I plan to enroll in some graduate school courses. This will allow me to enter graduate school better prepared for the many challenges that may await ahead. Following the completion of my undergraduate degree I plan on pursuing my PhD and spend the next six years conducting high caliber research related to brain function and its relation to autoimmune diseases. After this, I plan to take some time off with the hope of getting involved in some volunteer related to my desired specialty. The reason for this is because I would like to become better acquainted with how pathogenicity correlates with the myriad of diseases that inhabit us on a daily basis. Finally, I hope to enroll in medical school and continue the life long journey of learning the art of medicine.

My participation in the Mayo Clinic's Undergraduate Fellowship Program would help continue to foster my curiosity for science all while allowing me to broaden my professional networking skills and connections. Part of the reason for this is because only through connections and teamwork can we as future scientist probe and untangle the nuances that make problems in the world of medicine so elusive to resolve.

As a minority and first-generation student who has strong interest in pursuing a career as a medical physician, I could not think of a better program to join than Mayo Clinic's Undergraduate Fellowship Program. The Neuroscience and Immunology department at Mayo Clinic provides students the chance to gain a diverse perspective on whatever study they choose within both of these specialties. Because of this, I would like to focus in conducting research on a project that would enable me to combine Neurobiology and Immunology. Being exposed to a research opportunity of this magnitude will allow me to gain access to opportunities that my school does not have. Furthermore, this program offers students the opportunity to become better acquainted with the path towards a graduate school degree. By exposing individuals to the laboratory culture of the research group, lab meetings, and other weekly group led research activities, Mayo Clinic promises the success of minority and underrepresented students in graduate school. With the slow and unsteady increase in the number of minority students that have gone on to pursue post-undergraduate level education, I hope to contribute by committing to pursue my dreams of obtaining my doctorate and medical degree.

Mayo Clinic College of Medicine and Science is an institution renowned for its high caliber research. Having said this, this institution offers students, regardless of their financial barriers, the chance to become a part of the academic family. Being given the opportunity to conduct real life and independent scientific research is something that I would love to take part in. The reason for this is because the independence within the laboratory is what allows students to experience graduate school life at its best and most genuine way. Participating in this, once in a lifetime experience will impel me to think deeper about issues that continue to prevail in medicine and science while simultaneously seeking for solutions to these problems. This Program offers students the ability to work closely with faculty while bringing to fruition a lasting mentoring relationship that promises to keep students interested in pursuing graduate degrees, such as PhD and MD. Likewise, this program offers students the freedom to enjoy asking questions that may not have answers to. This is what helps stimulate the sense of independence that allows the student to feel comfortable and unafraid to venture into the unknown. It is this fact-driven world that I would like to be a part of; a world that fosters and values individuality while contributing to that individual's mental and intellectual maturity.

Undergraduate / Summer Research Opportunity at Johns Hopkins University [2]

Hello, can someone please help me edit this essay for a summer research program at JHU. I would really appreciate any feedback whether it is mechanical errors present in my essay or the flow of sentences.

The prompt is as follows:

Please describe your interest in the Summer Internship Program, Hopkins Postbaccalaureate Research Education Program or Diversity Doctoral Program.

study in Neuroscience

Brazilian lyricist and novelist, Pedro Coelho, once said, "going after a dream has a price. It may mean abandoning our habits, it may make us go through hardships, or it may lead us to disappointment. But however costly it may be, it is never as high as the price paid by people who didn't live." Having said this, I have held on tight to my dream of oqne day becoming a neurosurgeon since I was eleven years old. My interest for a career in the medical field is much greater than any adversity that I have had to overcome and will overcome in the future. For this reason, I am determined to dedicate myself to living a life where every day new knowledge contributes in making me better than the day before. Participating in the Summer Internship program at Johns Hopkins University would help contribute to my dream by helping to refine my critical thinking skills through research. Likewise, being a part of this summer opportunity would enable me to foresee what graduate school would feel like prior to embarking on the long and arduous journey of becoming the best surgeon that I can be.

Over the last couple of years I have had the chance to take part in numerous research experiences, all of which have helped mold my interest in the sciences. For example, as a junior in high school, I was able to conduct research at Lehman College in Bronx, New York. With Dr. Liesl Jones as my advisor, I got the chance to work with brain scans of lab rats observing brain maturation from postnatal ages 14, 28, and 60. Upon completion of the study conducted, I was able to observe the vast difference in development between the scans of the three different age groups being studied. Likewise, I got the chance to present my findings before the science faculty at Lehman College. This was one of the most rewarding experiences primarily because I was able to receive critical feedback from every faculty present. Presenting before the science community at Lehman College also helped me gain more confidence in my work through the process of being able to defend such work. However, something that this experience did not offer me and which the Summer Internship program at Johns Hopkins University does offer is the opportunity to experience graduate school work. Being exposed to a graduate setting would be a transformative experience, as it would enable me to become better acquainted with the knowledge in my field of interest.

Later in my high school career, I got the chance to conduct research funded by NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, at the City College of New York. In this research experience, I worked along the side of two other students and was advised by Dr. Jose Pillich. Our research consisted in looking at the different socioeconomic issues that lead to the disastrous toll that Hurricane Katrina had on communities adjacent to the Gulf Coast. By employing different analytical and visual sources, such as Geographic Information System , we were able to delineate some of the root causes of the problem with hopes to prevent a similar situation from happening again. One useful skill that I was able to acquire from this experience was that of being able to work within a group. Although working in a group can often help finish the work much faster, it does not mean that it will be easy. The reason for this is because although one person may like something done a certain way another one might not think of it the same way. However, when the group manages to dialogue the problems that may arise, like it was in our case, everything flows smoothly. This skill is one that I would like to bring along with me if selected as a participant of the program.

Furthering my study in Neuroscience by dedicating a substantial amount of time conducting research related to this field will equip me with the necessary skills needed for a career in the medical field. Only this Summer Internship program would allow me to expose myself to what interests me in neuroscience. Conducting Neuroscience research at the Basic Science Institute would also help me become better acclimated with this type of science and try to further understand the functional mechanisms of the brain. Furthermore, exposing myself to research in Neuroscience will also enable me to gain a greater understanding of the human brain from both a molecular and behavioral level. I am sure that this opportunity will open many doors while simultaneously allowing me to work towards obtaining both my PhD and MD degrees.

Undergraduate / Interest in a Summer Research Program at Duke University [2]

Hello, can someone please help me edit this for any mechanical and/or wrong word usage. I am applying for this summer research program at Duke and wanted to know whether the reasons that I present for wanting to participate sound valid. Also, how can some of my ideas be presented better to help my response be better communicated. If not, please tell me if I can leave it as is. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Why are you interested in participating in the Duke SROP? (400 words or less)

SROP - best program to join

Duke University is an institution renowned for its high caliber research. Having said this, Duke offers students, regardless of their financial barriers, the chance to become a part of the academic family. Being given the opportunity to conduct real life and independent scientific research is something that I would love to take part in. The reason for this is because the independence within the laboratories is what allows students to experience graduate school life at its best and most genuine way. Participating in the Summer Research Opportunity Program will allow me to think deeper about issues that continue to prevail in medicine and science while simultaneously seeking for solutions to these problems. The SROP program offers students the ability to work closely with faculty while bringing to fruition a lasting mentoring relationship that promises to keep students interested in pursuing graduate degrees, such as PhD and MD. Likewise, Duke University offers students the freedom to enjoy asking questions that may not have answers to. This is what helps stimulate the sense of independence that allows the student to feel comfortable and unafraid to venture into the unknown. It is this world that I would like to be a part of; a world that fosters and values individuality while contributing to that individual's intellectual maturity.

As a minority and first generation student who has strong interest in pursuing a doctorate degree, I could not think of a better program to join than SROP. The Neuroscience department at Duke University provides students the chance to gain a diverse perspective on whatever study they choose within this specialty. Because of this, I would like to conduct research related to Neuroscience. Being exposed to research in the Neuroscience department will allow me to gain access to opportunities that my school does not have. Furthermore, this program offers students the opportunity to become better informed of the path towards a graduate school degree. By exposing individuals to GRE preparation techniques and other weekly group led research activities, SROP promises the success of minority and underrepresented students to in graduate school. With the slow but steady increase in the number of minority students that have gone on to pursue doctorate degrees, I hope to contribute by committing to pursue my dreams of obtaining my doctorates degree.

Undergraduate / Ideas presented in the topic: Career goals and how to accomplish them [3]

Can someone please help me both proof read and look at the ideas presented in this response. It is for a summer research program and I want to know if I accurately and completely answer the question. I know that the first paragraph is a little bit unnecessary but I feel that it helps me dive right into my goals as presenting them without any background would not feel as natural.

Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

What are your career goals? How do you plan to accomplish those goals? Please state if you are still exploring different careers why those careers are of interest to you? (600 words or less)

medicine and research instead of aviation

Ever since I was Seven years old I have dreamed of becoming an aviator, and flying planes all over the world. However, this dream has little by little been subsiding, almost to the point where I can barely picture myself doing such job. You may be asking yourself how can someone dream of being something for almost their entire life and later feel completely disconnected from pursuing a career in such field? What makes a childhood dream grow voiceless, and unable to keep the older version of that child interested in such career? As simple as it may seem, my answer is simply because of the wonders and boundless opportunities that a career in medicine and research offers. I began to realize that unlike a career in aviation, a career in medicine and research would allow me to live a life committed to learning new things every waking moment of my life. In exposing myself to small research opportunities in my school, I also began to notice that every day I was exposed to something unlike any other day. The small research experiences to which I would expose myself were little by little indulging me in a world of intellectuality and incredible wonders.

Having said this, my long-term goal is to obtain both my PhD and MD degrees with the dream of becoming a surgeon. However, I believe that it is too recent for me to commit to a field such as Neurosurgery or general surgery. This is something that I will allow to unfold with the passing of time as well as my exposure to different specialties. I also know that before embarking on this long and arduous journey I must first complete short term goals. For this reason, one of my short-term goals is to obtain my Bachelors of Science degree in Neuroscience. It is my hope to spend approximately five years completing this degree, as I have also taken on the responsibility of completing my premedical requirements. With the fifth and extra year as an undergraduate student, I plan to enroll in some graduate school courses. This will allow me to enter graduate school better prepared for the many challenges that may await ahead. Following the completion of my undergraduate degree I plan on pursuing my PhD, and spend the next six years conducting high caliber research related to Neuroscience. After this, I plan to take some time off to work and volunteer abroad in order to help individuals have better access to health care in third world countries. Finally, upon my return to the states, I hope to enroll in medical school and continue the life long process of learning the art of medicine.

The reason why Neuroscience sparks such great interest in me is because of the diversity in function that the brain possesses. The brain as well as all the nerves that innervate it have a mind of their own. For this reason, I would like to spend the rest of my life devoted to studying the mechanism behind the function and structure of the brain. Furthering my study in Neuroscience by dedicating a substantial amount of time conducting research related to this field will equip me with the necessary skills needed for a career in the medical field. Likewise, participating in Duke University's Summer Research Opportunity Program will enable me to gain insight into what life as a graduate student would feel like at an earlier time than normal. This will allow me to feel better prepared upon my entry to graduate school as I embark on a life long journey of knowledge.

Undergraduate / A positive change in Dominicana. Summer Health Professions Education Program Diversity Essay [3]

Hello, Please help me edit this essay, which is for the Summer Health Professions Education program. I would greatly appreciate it if you criticize it as best as possible telling me where the essay needs improvement and what is good about it. Thanks in advance. Below you may find the prompt and my response.

Thanks

SHPEP seeks individuals who will advance the goals of diversity in the medical and dental profession, reduce health-care disparities, and/or improve health care to undeserved populations.

Coming from the Dominican Republic

Please share your experiences in one or all of these areas in the space provided below.

Coming from the Dominican Republic, I had been born in a very small and lower class family. We migrated to America, in search of a better life and opportunities that would transform the many struggles that we had been forced to endure into blessings. However, the truth of such move later proved to be only a facade. The symbol of greatness and prosperity that I would always hear others talk about America was not as such when my family and I had arrived in the land of the so called plenti and abundant. I suddenly realized that in order to succeed in America my family and I would have to work twice as hard as any other family mainly because the highest level of education that my parents received was that of a grade school education. Years passed and we slowly adjusted to living in America.

At the age of twelve, four years after my family had arrived in America, we decided to travel back to the Dominican Republic for the first time. I remember that as soon as we stepped off the plane and headed outside people, including children, were sitting along the passenger sidewalk with hats on the floor trying to coerce those who had arrived into giving them money in return for their cultural dances and songs. This only meant one thing and that was that the Dominican Republic was still the same place as I remembered. It was still a place where the disadvantaged were constantly oppressed and prevented from improving their lives for the better of society. Likewise, the Dominican Republic was still a place where the inequality between the wealthy and poor was still rampant and growing on a daily basis. Two days after our arrival, my mother, aunt and I headed to the country's capital city, as we were trying to buy some grocery for the week. Upon turning a corner, a young gentleman, who was probably no older than twenty five was sitting on the pavement along a wall desperately asking for money and food. I looked at his legs and noticed the level of swelling that they had and just stood there thinking about the pain that he must be feeling and whether he was able to walk. The level of sadness that I was feeling in that moment of time was beyond what words could describe. I was both puzzled and numb at what I was seeing. Nothing made sense, as I could not understand how there could be so much poverty in a city where lights illuminate every street-way, and a multitude of people pass by in luxurious cars completely indifferent to the level of suffering of many disadvantaged and lonesome souls. This is something that still continues to puzzle me. The reason for this is because I know that this situation continues to go unnoticed by government officials, the people who we citizens trust to improve the healthcare system and many other things within our society.

A week went by and the level of impotence that I was feeling about what I had witnessed in my own country was abysmal. Perhaps being born into a low class family helped me live and understand what struggle meant and the value that the smallest of things possess. Because of my family's social class, I was able to see the level of poverty that plagued much of the Dominican Republic. This was so much so that the same scenario I had witnessed before repeated itself, but this time in a hospital and in a more personal way. My mom had received a call telling her that one of her brothers was at the hospital with severe injuries from a motorcycle accident as a result of overspeeding. I remember how we rushed to the hospital in a Voladora, or speeding van as they are called in the the Dominican Republic, only to realize that my mom's brother had not yet been taken care of by the doctors because of the shortage in staff. I looked at the patient's waiting room and was awestruck by the number of patients awaiting to be taken care of. How could this be, I thought to myself. The only question that I found myself asking was, where are the doctors of this hospital? Nurses and doctors would sprint from one room to the next whenever they were called through the hospital's intercom, requesting their presence in different room. Everything seemed to be lacking order and cohesion. Suddenly, my ears were overtaken by a loud scream coming from a woman who appeared to be holding a sick infant in her arms. Did he die, I thought to myself. "What's going on," I asked my mom. However, she was just as clueless as the rest of us looking over. "He is not breathing," the woman yelled. "Please help me, please." I couldn't believe it. I had been a witness of a death that could have been prevented if there would have been more doctors and nurses available. Amidst the chaos, my mother called a taxi and took my uncle to a private hospital, where he was rapidly treated and kept in observation for two nights.

It is evident that experiencing both of these scenarios in one single visit to the Dominican Republic speaks of the rampant level of imbalance that continues to prevail in my home country. The saddest part of this, however, is that if nothing is done to help improve the healthcare system in the Dominican Republic, the situation will only continue to worsen. Laws alone will not be able to amend the many problems that persist. It will take more than just activists marching to lead the government to implementing better healthcare, better living conditions, and better trained doctors in their field. Until every citizen who has the luxury that others can only wish for step up and use their experience and power to effect positive change will the Dominican Republic be able to see a difference in the healthcare system. Now that my family has slightly risen up from poverty and that I have been blessed with bountiful opportunities, I feel that it is my duty and responsibility to give back, all with the goal of leading my country in the right direction.

Scholarship / This is an essay on the challenges that my peers and I have encountered. [2]

What are 3 of the biggest challenges facing you and your peers today? How can those challenges be overcome and what can you learn from them?( 1000 words or less).

Can someone please help me look over this essay. I need some help in determining if the challenges that I have chosen are suitable for this response. Also, please look over the spelling and wording, since this tends to be my biggest problem. Thanks.

The path from childhood to adulthood is fraught with many changes. Along with these changes comes the stress that peer pressure, bullying and the need to have good grades has on teens. All of these external pressures contribute to the many problems that teens are forced to experience in today's society. These same problems are the ones that both my peers and I have have had to confront.

Staying on top of the academic work at school can be challenging. However, creating step by step plans to help navigate through high school can help ease the stress one feels with the difficulty that's experienced in academics. Some of the steps that students should take whenever they feel apprehended by the tension that comes along with academics include: setting a specific schedule for studying by designating a specific place and time, participating in mind-relieving activities such as, yoga, or breathing techniques, and sleeping and eating healthy. Following a strict regime as this one will not only help students like myself diminish the stress that comes with academics, but also keeping a sane and healthy mind. Moreover, peer pressure is a force that tends to negatively affect both my peers and I at school. Because of the environment in which our school is located, we are constantly surrounded by negativity. With this negativity lies the heavy use of drugs and crimes that students around my school witness. Sometimes the influence is so strong that students from my school fall victim to the use of drugs, alcohol and violence. This is something that goes beyond our control thus we can only hold strong to persistence amidst a world that seems impossible to escape from. Situations like these are the ones that test one's character in light of hardships. The only thing that one can do is learn to see such problems with an open mind.

Bullying is something that no parent would ever want their child to experience. However, this is one of the worst teenage problems that affects millions of youths including my peers and I. Bullying causes fear in the minds of children, and makes them nervous going to school each day. Any form of bullying is relentless, causing the affected teenagers to live in a state of constant fear. Having said this, I was a victim of bullying in my school. When I first arrived to the United States being picked on because I could not speak English was quite shocking. Everyday I would go to school and find myself in an abyss of never ending laughter and mean comments. Students would constantly call me names and point me out as "the immigrant" with very little concern for the way I was feeling. However, this language barrier fed me with the strength to persevere. I never allowed the laughter that my inability to properly speak English broke among those around me. Such strength allowed me to continue improving my English by practicing on a daily basis. This same situation is one that I still witness in high school. Students in my school, especially those who come from other countries, are confronted with the constant abuse of their classmates who call them names and spew them with the same verbal insults that I was once hit with. It is for this reason that something must be done about bullying. Spreading awareness and knowledge of the many forms that bullying takes is not enough because the only things that matter when dealing with a problem like this are actions. We must unite and take legal actions in respect to this issue. Only with the help of the law will we be able to remove the blindfold that has kept us blind for so long.

Overall, the problems that come with peer pressure, bullying and the stress tied to academics are many. These same problems are the ones that in many situations lead teens my age to either drop out of school or fall a victim to crimes. However, this does not have to be this way. We can all work together to help teens continue studying and learn how to cope with the stress in their personal and academic lives. By learning how to connect with adults that can guide and show students the right path to success, we will be creating a better future for every teen in America. Such dream is one that I hold close. I would one day want to see how every child is treated equally despite of his/her ethnic background. Living up to see this world will not only bring happiness to me but also to those who share the same dream as me.

Scholarship / What do you consider to be the most pressing global issue today and why? 25000 character limit essay [3]

Please help me look over this essay for a scholarship.( I need help with editing it and content). It is similar to one I have written for another scholarship, but this one carries a similar idea, dealing with racism. Below you may find the prompt.

What do you consider to be the most pressing global issue today and why?

Response:

Despite the seeming eradication of racism, the world continues to experience prejudice and discrimination. I, myself, have been a victim of the prevalent nature of this ongoing problem in today's society.

A year ago, I remember wanting to buy my grandmother a gift for her 75th birthday. My parents along with my aunt and me drove to the nearest jewelry store and entered without any hesitation. Upon entering, a white gentleman approached and greeted us. He asked us if we needed any help. My aunt quickly responded,"No, gracias." She assumed that the employee knew Spanish. Unfortunately, this was not the case. He walked away for a while and then came back to the spot where we were standing. He stared at us fiercely, watching our every move. At first we did not pay much attention to him. But it did not take long for us to notice him and feel uncomfortable. My aunt spotted the perfect ring and necklace for my grandmother. Pretending as though nothing was happening, my aunt turned to the gentleman and asked him if we could purchase the ring and necklace. The gentleman responded to my aunt by telling her that she could not afford that design on a two set jewelry piece. He also told us that the store was not for someone of our economic status. He insisted that we were going to steal something and that he needed to keep an eye on us. His words struck me like lightning. I did not feel inferior to the gentleman, I felt worthless. He painted a humiliating image of us as thieves, but we did not let his comments intimidate us. My aunt suggested that we leave and not buy anything from the store. Despite the way we were treated, we came out of the store with our heads held high, proud of being Latino immigrants.

As a Latino, there is one common goal my family and the families of many other immigrants in this country share. That goal is the desire to better our lives and the lives of those we leave behind. In the beginning, this goal is nothing more than a dream, but our drive is so strong that the sacrifices we make are valuable in and of themselves. After all, the sacrifices we make are the ones that teach us life long lessons. Migrating to America, dealing with racism is a sacrifice that many Latinos make. In my case, my family experienced racism at a local shopping center. This incident proved that racism is still prevalent and that there is a lot of work ahead. Only when we come together will we be able to victoriously yell out freedom.

Scholarship / 'nightly struggle to read stories' - this essay aims to describe myself the best way possible [2]

Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics MAY include experiences that have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, the way you see the world or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination.

Does this response fit the prompt. How can I revise it to make it stronger?

Sometimes overcoming the barriers that life throws at us can feel daunting. We try to hide who we truly are in order to protect ourselves from the judgment and discrimination of those around us. In doing so, we end up drenched in fear to the point where escape is no longer possible. However, when we conquer our barriers we prove to ourselves that nothing can break our desire to keep moving forward. We also prove to ourselves that despite there being a cloudy day the sun will always come out and shine brighter tomorrow. It is this vision that keeps us from collapsing before ourselves.

Such is the case with my experience as an immigrant. Migrating into the United States from the Dominican Republic with my mother and sister was the biggest test of my life. At seven years old I had to leave behind my family, friends and the only neighborhood I had ever known. The hardest part was having to adapt to a new language and a culture that I was unfamiliar with. Within the first five years of living in the United States, my ability to translate words to English proved to be my worst enemy. There were times when my teachers would ask me to read out loud words that, no matter how hard I tried, did not make any sense to me. I would read and stumble upon the simplest words, such as kitchen, couch, and table. Students around me, who knew how to pronounce these words fluently, would giggle and cover their faces to disparage me. These moments did not stop until I had reached sixth grade. There were times when my teachers would scold those students who laughed at me and times when they would stand aside, in silence, disregarding the humiliating giggles of the other students.

During my early elementary school years, being laughed at because I could not accurately pronounce words was considered funny. I, however, saw this as an opportunity to show those who laughed at me that I could overcome this nightmare. I never got home with a tear rolling down my face because I knew that I had to be strong. I knew that I had to find the strength to peacefully fight off the giggles and rid myself off the language impairment that I had. I found such strength in seeing my mom get home from work late at night. Her commitment to support both my sister and I motivated me to want to learn English. By the age of ten I could speak English, almost fluently. All of this because of my nightly struggle to read stories such as, " Where the Wild Things Are" and "The Giving Tree."

Scholarship / Tightly packed responses; career impact, influential person, six qualities and leadership [5]

Please help me look at the content and word count of each response. I cannot seem to get each of these responses to 100 words each. Furthermore, I do not know if the responses I've provided measure up with what the questions are asking.

What has most influenced your professional or career aspirations for the future?(100 words max).

Flying is a magical experience that has the power to transform every child's dream into a reality. Having said this, every time I see a pilot risk their life by helping people get to their destination, I cannot help but feel inspired. They make it their duty to protect the lives of their passengers before their own and in doing so show how selfless they can be. Heroes like captain Chesley Sullenberger inspire me to see the strength and devotion a man can have when facing a seemingly inevitable disaster. His response to his particular situation is something that made him a true hero. This is one of the many factors that makes pilots inspirational. They look for the wellbeing of others and place more importance on the safety of their passengers. Such quality is something that makes flying so magical. For this reason their work motivates me to pursue a career in aviation.

Describe an influential person in your life, and how he/she has helped change your view of yourself and the world. You may use examples from your family life, community service or extracurricular activities.(100 words max).

Seeing my mother guide me despite her inability to read and write in Spanish or English is something that until this day continues to inspire me. Not long ago, my mother was released from her job because her factory had closed. Because of this, she had to find a job that would allow her to work double shifts to help pay the rent at the end of every month. Through this experience, my mother taught me the importance of never giving up. She did not have to teach me with words what I was able to see with her actions. From this situation I was able to learn how adversity always tries to pull one down. However, when a person confronts adversity with a sense of determination and motivation there is nothing one cannot overcome. Everything becomes easier to see and confront, which makes the blind on our eyes fall, thus allowing us to see where we step.

Some believe that a person of character demonstrates the following six qualities: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship. Pick one of these qualities, describe the value of this quality, and, most importantly, explain how you have exemplified this trait. (100 words max).

The value of self-respect is something we often take for granted. However, only when our self-respect is threatened can we discover its importance. Not so long ago, I remember buying my grandmother a gift for her birthday. I had come across a salesperson who insisted that I was going to steal something from the store because I was an immigrant. Despite the horrendous comments of the gentlemen, I decided that it was best to remove myself from that environment. By removing myself from this environment, I was able to show the value respect has in my life. I demonstrated having respect for myself and the individual who had discriminated me.

Describe a time when you were in a leadership position. What obstacles did you have to overcome? How did you overcome those obstacles to obtain your goal? (100 words max).

As a member of a club at my school, Community Leader's Club, coming up with a way that my school could contribute to the effects of hurricane Sandy was challenging. The reason for this was because neither me nor the other students in the club could think of a way to contribute to this cause. It took everyone in the Community Leaders Club about a week to come up with a solution on what my school was going to do in order to help victims of hurricane Sandy. We had explored all of the options that were laid on the table and nothing seemed good enough. With the help of my principal and Global studies teacher, who had advised that we create a fundraising, the students and staff in my school began to take action. Such challenge was essential to experience because it taught me the importance of what one chooses to do and the impact that such action can have on the community. For this reason, choosing the best way to help was crucial to the success of the club at what it was intending to do; help victims who had lost most if not all of their possessions.

Scholarship / I need assistance correcting my response to the prompt what has most influenced me for the future [4]

What has most influenced your professional or career aspirations for the future?

Every time I see a pilot risk their life by helping people get to their destination, I cannot help but feel inspired. I look up to them and many of the times thank them for their service. In doing so, I show my appreciation for their work. Their work motivates me to pursue a career in the field of aviation. Another thing that indulges my interest for aviation is the beauty of flight. Flying is a magical experience that has the power to transform every child's dream into a reality. For this reason, I consider myself to be passion driven

Scholarship / Tell us about something that may help us evaluate your nomination - need to enhance this response. [2]

Is there anything else you would like to tell us about that may help us evaluate your nomination (i.e., personal characteristics, obstacles you have overcome)?

I grew up in the West Farms neighborhood of the Bronx, a place where drugs, alcohol and crime were a daily plague on the community. As a result, I have struggled to trust people and make friends, because I do not want to be influenced by the negativity that surrounds me. Another reason why I stay away from the negativity around me is to prevent myself from being bullied. I have always feared being ostracized from a group simply because I have opened up and shared my life with the world. For this reason, I have never had the courage to speak about the world I come from. No matter how hard I push myself to open up to new people, I worry that I might get hurt.

Being an immigrant is one of the reasons why I fear opening up to new people. I have seen how people treat immigrants and the many obstacles they face in the United States. As a child of two immigrant parents, I know what it means to not be able to see your parents for hours that seem to go on without end. The worst part is realizing that they have to work long hours and multiple jobs not only to support a family of four in America, but also the family left behind. This is the harsh reality I had to face during my first years in America. I saw how my parents debilitated themselves night after night just to get food on the table. I also had to adapt to the idea of relying on myself and no one else. In a country where people could care less about what happens to you, learning to accept the reality of not having anyone to help you was quite shocking. For this reason, I was forced to grow up faster than normal. I was forced to take on adult responsibilities at the age of thirteen years old. By working at the local supermarket, I was able to financially help my parents.

Living in America as an immigrant has helped me grow up and taught me many things. One of those things is the importance of family. In my life, I have learned from my parents what it means to be respectful, and to dream big. When I think of my parents, I appreciate all my parents have given me despite their limitations. For example, they have always helped me study, despite their own inability to read and write in Spanish or English. They are the ones who have given me the purpose to work hard for my goals. Having them as role models helps keep me moving forward.

Apart from the support I have received from my parents, the lessons they have taught me have allowed me to appreciate life from a different angle. For example, not so long ago, my father was released from his job due to the closing of his factory. My mother had to work double shifts in order to earn enough money to pay the rent at the end of every month. I also had to dedicate part of my schedule to working part time as a tutor. This experience taught me the importance of sticking together as a family when facing hard times. She once told me, that a person's character is not judged on the qualities and/or abilities of that person, but rather on how well that person stands after falling. In this situation, we had fallen as a family. However, we still managed to get up and continue working hard despite how impossible it seemed.

Such is the world I come from. A world that has given me very little in material things, but an abundance in lessons and opportunities. All of these experiences have contributed to making me someone who persists, no matter the obstacles I face.

Scholarship / As a student, I have taken part in many after school and summer programs; non academic skills essay [2]

Other than through classes in school, in what areas (non academic) have you acquired knowledge or skills? How?

As a student, I have taken part in many after school and summer programs. These programs not only helped me improve my English, but also prepared me for college and life beyond. My involvement in summer research programs at universities has given me the opportunity to discover new aspects of science. Likewise, my involvement in community service activities has enabled me to perceive the world differently. By giving back to my community, I have learned important life lessons. One of those lessons is that even the smallest actions can make a difference. These lessons are essentials that one cannot simply acquire from sitting in a classroom. They must be acquired by being out in the world and experiencing the vividness of life.

For example, taking part in the HIRES-CUNY research program opened my eyes to all the great wonders of science. I learned about the many career choices that exist in the field of science. It is through this experience that I learned about a career in Aeronautical Engineering and applied mathematics. Furthermore, I learned how to work collaboratively in groups to accomplish an important goal. Learning this skill not only strengthened my work ethic, but also made the quality of my work much better. By working side by side with college professors and PhD science mentors, I have been able to pick up research and presentation skills. Some of the presentation skills that I have learned include: never losing sight of one's audience, always projecting one's voice, and maintaining good body posture. Although these skills may seem simple to carry out, they are not so simple for me, especially when I am presenting in front of an audience. However, the confidence that my mentors have instilled in me has allowed me to face these situations with confidence. With respect to research, some of the skills that I have obtained include: analyzing data, using laboratory microscopes, employing data on GIS (Geographic Information System), and acquiring computer science skills with python. Developing these skills has helped me become a better prepared, college bound student.

My participation in community service activities has empowered me to reach out to those around me. Whether it is by helping to clean up my neighborhood, volunteering at the local tutoring center, or helping to clean up parks, I have realized that being involved in helping others is a great way to learn. Through my involvement in community service, I have been able to cement strong values that will serve me in college and beyond.

Overall, these extracurricular opportunities have helped me grow tremendously. Through my participation in college research programs and community service activities, I have been able to handle ambiguity in the work field and be more open to change. Working in these settings has exposed me to different people and different working styles. This has been one of the most rewarding things that I have acquired by simply getting involved.

Scholarship / Contributions to my community and what I have accomplished. [2]

Discuss your involvement in and contributions to a community near your home, school or elsewhere. Please select an experience different from the one you discussed in the previous question, even if this experience also involved leadership What did you accomplish? How did this experience influence your goals?

I vividly remember hurricane Sandy. The destruction that it caused on many people living on the East coast is something I'll never forget. It was hard to watch the news and see the way people's homes, cars and businesses were destroyed. Everything that people did for protection did not help prevent the destruction that had occurred. I also remember how many schools, including mine, had closed for an entire week due to flooding on streets and subway lines. All of these things not only led people to lose their jobs, but also many of their possessions. Horrified by the sights that I was seeing on the news, I began to think of a way for my school to get involved. I spoke to my school's principal about creating food drives, movie nights and even a Valentine's Day party. All of these ideas were carried out to help raise money for families who had lost everything.

Twice a week for four months, many students in my school opened their hearts and dedicated their time to volunteer in this club. As the person who had come up with the ideas, I began to create flyers and posters along the side of other students who had chosen to give a helping hand. Some of the students brought boxes from their homes, others brought bags full of goods, and teachers donated money. All of these actions, gave me a sense of gratitude in knowing that all adversity can be overdriven when individuals stick together. Week after week, the students and staff at my school worked vigorously to raise enough funds and goods for families who were left displaced. Whenever I felt tired, I would simply look through the glassed windows of each classroom to see the effort that all of the students were putting into their respective tasks. I would look at each student carrying boxes and think to myself of what would have happened if I had not come up with a way to get my school involved. The urge to help was so strong that many of the students within my school, including myself, would stay after school to get things done. Sometimes we would even volunteer on Saturdays and take the boxes, to families and local soup kitchens. Other days, we would wear shirts with a sign saying, "Relief Funds For Hurricane Sandy," and put up a stand next to the school. My dedication and the dedication of other students within my school was, indeed, helpful to many of the victims that were affected.

The skills that I had acquired through this leadership experience were far more enriching than what I could have ever asked for. By organizing and participating in this event, I was able to drive past my diffidence. I became more comfortable communicating with those around me and began to see life through a different lens. Like everyone else, I had the obligation to help people. In seeing all of the damage that was done, I was more than compelled to do so. I began to see myself and my family reflected in the many faces of those adversely affected. I also began to think of what might happen if my family were to be in the same situation as the families that I was seeing on the news. Would people reach out to us, or would they simply stay as bystanders, looking at the desperation on our faces? Such question was one that I continuously asked myself day after day. It was the constant asking of these questions that motivated me to contribute to the relief effort of Hurricane Sandy. In contributing to this effort, my lifelong goal of becoming an airline pilot began to strengthen. I began to see the potential that I had to lead others around me. Likewise, my commitment to this relief effort gave me the confidence to realize that I was making a difference. This experience had given me qualities that until this day no price can match.

With all of this said, my commitment to bring a sense of relief to families affected by hurricane Sandy was by far one of the best things I had done. Through this event, I learned the role of a leader in this world. I was able to see how a leader is not simply judged on his/her good looks or personality. A leader is judged on the commitment and sacrifice that such person exerts on acts that help to establish change. Only when a leader is able to do such thing, can one say, with confidence, that a leader fits more than the definition of the word itself. A leader, simply, becomes more than a guide. A leader becomes the person who knows how to navigate through failure and setbacks. All of these things contribute to the monumental efforts that come together to make life more valuable.