Writing Feedback / 'there is still discrimination against women' - how this problem evaluated to the present days? [2]

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The World Societies have changed especially in term of gender equality that women position becomes a measurement over 50 years. It was never happened before the notion of feminism came. However, I strongly agree even there has been the idea of women rights that there is still discrimination against women.

Firstly, feminism was occurred in the past 50 years ago. It has been leading gender equality between men and women. As the impact of this, many countries in the world starting to implement gender law to improve woman rights. For example, in Indonesia, a woman has opportunity to become people representative in DPR-RI (People Representative of Republic Indonesia). This has been becoming fact that Indonesia has great deal with women position in the societies.

In contrast, women are still being discriminated in term of leadership issue. They are not fully treated like a man as the notion of gender equality should be. For instance, in Indonesia female president become taboo especially for Muslim. Even though, the fourth president of Republic Indonesia was a woman, Megawati Soekarno Putri. Besides, in people representative women only have small percentage compare with man. The limitation of women is as fact that the role of man still dominant in Indonesia parliament. It is because majority of people believe men should become superior in front of women and it is mean women do not treat equal in parliament.

In conclusion, equality between women and men are still become a problem in several society because of vary factors such as religious issue, even the gender law is already on the field. That is way we cannot say the gender equality have achieved.

Writing Feedback / 'a bunch of people who felt danger' - The Percentage of Crime in 2009 to 2011 [2]

The bar chart shows the percentages of people who fell danger and also actual victim of crime. There are several categories of crime being measures; burglary, car crime, and violent crime. Overall, it can be seen the people who perceived danger was the highest percentage in all categories of crime compared with the direct victim of crime.

To begin, a bunch of people who felt danger because of criminal crime had various percentages. For instance, the perceived burglary in 2009 to 2010 was peaked 16%. It was smaller rate than car crime with 21% of people. Moreover, violence crime cases also smaller than car crime with approximately 15% of people. In addition, the scared of criminal between 2010 and 2011 was had same pattern with the previous period but, it was smaller than the previous one.

On the other hand, the direct victim of crime in violence crime and burglary were same with approximately 2-3% between 2009 and 2011. However, actual car mischief in 2009 to 2011 reached at 4% higher than the others type of criminal activities.

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Writing Feedback / The high cost of living in the Fairmont Island is the main disadvantage for visitors. [2]

Both of pie charts illustrate the most common merit and demerit of Fairmont Island. This information was based on the number of guests who visited the island. The measurements of the two pie charts are using percent per category. Overall, it can be seen high cost of living is the main detrimental for visitors. Otherwise, the most common benefits are the scenery and the people that Fairmont Island can serve.

Firstly, high cost of living becomes the main problems for guests with 45% of surveyors stated this. Besides, entertainment and weather were the most common demerit for the Island with 30% and 20% of surveyors. For the rest of survey stated that food quality is the last in the pie chart.

On the other hand, the Fairmont Island has been providing the guest with its scenery and the people that reached approximately 37% to 40% of visitors rate. Moreover, there was around 12% for the rest of categories of the benefit from the Island; they are good accommodation and culture.

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Writing Feedback / Nowadays, e-learning becomes one of popular studying methods at university [2]

These days internet based courses have become a popular alternative to university based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays, e-learning becomes one of popular studying methods at university. A bunch of people prefer to this method rather than have to be present at university class. It is because they can study anywhere that they want. On the other hand, some of people believe that attend the lecturer is very important. This essay will discuss both of views one by one properly.

To begin, internet based learning at university is beneficial in time and money saving. It can be seen that in several university that offer this kind of learning usually allows the student to study at home. Because of that, the learner can minimalize their budget for transportation and save their time to go to college. In addition, this method has effect to environmentally friendly that the students do not have to print out their paper and learning material. In fact, the world number of rain forest has been decreasing dramatically because of human needs, especially for making sheet of papers.

On the other hand, learning at class also has its own merit. For instance, the students will have direct contact to the lecture that it will allow them to have intense communication with their teacher. Furthermore, not all of the students are capable to study by their own. Teaching on the class is one of strategy to handle students who are having difficulty in self-learning. That is way most of universities only provide the classes based courses.

In conclusion, both of the methods have their own advantages that serve the learner to face their future goals by studying at university. In my opinion, it would be fair for students, if they know their capability in receiving the knowledge. Therefore, it will be possible for them to choose the university based learning method by their own properly.

Writing Feedback / The Percentage of Visitors in Several Australian Destinations [2]

The bar chart shows the percentage of visitors in different places in Australia; they are zoo, library, theatre, and cinema. The measurement of people was separated into three categories. They are Australian nativity, migrants from English mother tongue countries, and the migrants who have birth in non English speaking countries. Overall, it can be seen cinema was the popular destination for the three categories.

To begin, zoo and theatre had same pattern that zoo's rate was twice higher than theatre. Besides, both of them were dominated by the migrants from English speaking countries which peaked at 50% for zoo and 25% for visitors of theatre. This was also followed by the others two ranks.

In addition, the portion of guests in cinema was governed by Australian parentage which imitated by speaking English immigrants. On the other hand, Library was dominated by the immigrants from non English speaking countries with approximately 55% of visitors that it was also followed by the others classes.

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Writing Feedback / 'teen brawls, raping, and deviant behaviour' -Violance On Television And Children's Behaviour [2]

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violance on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

In this advance technology era, television is one of popular mass media which able to serve various kind of entertainments. However, this is followed by high number of violence contents on television. I strongly agree that it is affected to the negative behaviour of children.

To begin, television programs which contain coercion activities are impact to children negatively. This phenomenon happens because they tend to imitate what he or she notice on the media. Besides, human learn varied of activities based on their senses that this is started in the early age. For instance, a baby will follow what their parents said and it is also applied by 6 - 15 years old child. Therefore, visual media such as television is dangerous for children, if it is contained the hardness contents.

In addition, childhood is time for a man to develop their attitude and it will be lasting forever as their manners. On the other hand, if the negative influence such as ruggedness has planted in children mind, it could be difficult to be modified. For example, there are several researches which have done by child experts. They found that 90% of high numbers of violation like teen brawl, raping, and deviant behaviour as the impact of suspect's experience when they were a child.

In conclusion, I argue that programs are containing harshness activities should be avoided, especially for the children because it affects negatively to children's behaviour. Hopefully, parents can keep track of their children and give them positive knowledge which positively advantage for the children's future.

Writing Feedback / It would be better to introduce the foreign language in primary school rather than in secondary [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Some children authorities argue that children should learn secondary language in the early year such as when they are enrolled in primary school. On this matter, there are several merits and demerits that the advantages are dominant rather than its disadvantages.

Firstly, the primary school students are more enthusiastic in studying compared with the secondary school. For example, the teacher of elementary schools usually teaches the student by using fun method of learning. As the result, the students will receive what teacher has told easily. If this method is implemented in teaching foreign language, student will able to learn the secondary language faster. In addition, the children have more ability than the adult, especially in absorbing new knowledge. In several researches have shown that the children experience will affect to their future characteristic and attitude. Starting from this statement, the early age is the time when a men and women absorb much new knowledge. Therefore, the primary school is suitable place to teach children the new foreign languages.

However, sometimes, primary school student's focus is weak rather than secondary student. It is because elementary school student are still want to play around with their friends rather than have to sit at the class to study. Besides, it need high qualify teacher in teaching secondary language for elementary school. In fact, the teacher with high quality certificate is limited in several countries.

To sum up, the foreign language would be better if it is introduced in primary school rather than in secondary school. So, in the early age children have known the foreign language and they will develop it in the next step of school with high level of the other language.

Writing Feedback / The formal training for the children is good to develop their attitude and behaviour in the future [2]

Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

The formal training such as formal public school becomes a choice for many people to enroll their children. It happens because they believe that this can prepare the child to become good parents in the future. I strongly agree that formal school is the suitable place for children to develop their attitude and behaviour for their future.

In formal school, the students come from several background of family. As the result, the children will get many experience from his or her friends because school condition which pressuring the children to have communication contact to their colleagues and the children are growth as adults who have good communication skill. In addition, official education has link to the government such as in curriculum matter. For instance, in several countries, government has high authority in creating the curriculum. Because of that, there is standardization in formal education. For students who are enrolled in home schooling have to involve in long process of curriculum Standardization. Besides, the public schools students are not require the equalization.

In contrast, informal school can generate the brilliant generation in the future. It is because in home schooling, the students are more focus on the subject study compared with the formal school. However, the students will grow as individualists' parents or adult in the next decades.

In conclusion, formal school is a better place in developing children's capability especially for their future as parents. I strongly believe it is the only suitable way for children's better future.

Writing Feedback / Some claims that planting the idea of competition in children's life is an obligation [3]

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that planting the idea of competition in children's life is an obligation. However, those think that the feeling of cooperation is more important rather than competition in order to encourage them to become great human being in the future. In my opinion, the spirit of cooperation could create a new generation who have the sense of togetherness and helping each other.

Firstly, the notion of competition for children is important because this could make children to become superior rather than his or her colleagues. For instance, in several elementary schools provide the ranking grade for students. For student who has good ability and getting highest score in examination will receive first grade of ranking due to his achievement. Besides, the other student will be in the second place compare with the first one. In fact, the second student will improve his ability in order to be the winner of the class. Althought, it affected to the individualistic for children.

However, I have stand on the other side that sense of cooperation is could encourage student to achieve bright future and being useful for the others. It is because this could perceive children to be aware and have responsibility to their environment. For example, when a school has curriculum for its students to be active in group charity activities, this means that school has successfully in creating the environment of togetherness and care each others. In addition, human is social creature who need the others helping and interaction with peoples as a basic needing.

In conclusion, I would say that the sense of cooperation should be encouraged rather than the sense of competition in order to produce the children who has sense of care each others to their colleagues. It only could be success if the environment which the children life provides the supporting place for the growth of children.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: Outokumpu Share Price Between 2006 and 2010 [4]

The graph shows the Outokumpu companies' price sharing in the beginning of 2006 to 2010. Euro is used for the measurement. Overall, it can be seen the Outokumpu's sharing on the price trend was fluctuated and it peaked the highest rate in the middle of 2006 period.

Initially, Outokumpu share price stood at 13€ and it gradually increased till the middle of 2006 which it peaked at 31€. Following years, the share price fluctuated up to December 2007. In the end of 2007 also shows the Outokumpu's rate peaked the second highest stock after achieved it in a year ago.

In contrast, 2008 experienced dramatic decline in Outokumpu's price sharing. It hit a low of approximately 7€ in May 2008. There was a slight rise in price rate in 2009 after hit the lowest rate. In several months later, corporation's price sharing decreased slowly in June 2009 and it was fluctuated to the end of period.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1: The Percentage of Visitors in Brighton's Festival, Pavillion, Pier and Art Gallery [4]

The graph illustrates the percentage of visitors for four different attractions in Brighton, England during 1980 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen the trend of Pavillion and Pier increased in the end of period. It seemed contrast with Art Gallery and Festival that both patterns decreased in the end of period.

Initially, there was a rapid rise in number of visitors for Pavillion which it peaked at approximately 48% tourist in 1995. Besides starting from 2000, it declined gradually till 2010, but it still in highest percentage rather than the other three. On the other hand , during period of 1980 to 2000, Pier's trend was fluctuated and hit a high of 22% in 2010.

In contrast, Festival's nnumber of visitors stable at 28% during 2000 to 2010. However, it decreased slightly if compare with 1980. After that, 1985 experienced dramatical increase in percentage of tourists in Art Gallery, but it dropped dramatically till the end of period.

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Writing Feedback / The number of females reading books in Burnaby Public Library showed an upward trend (2011-2014) [2]

The graph shows the number of Burnaby Public Library's books which read by men and women during 2011 to 2014. Overall, it can be seen men were more enthusiastic in reading books rather than women in the end of period. However, in 2013 both of sexes reached the same number of books which were being read.

The women's reading capacity was higher than men in the beginning of period. It stood at approximately 5,000 books. Following two years, it increased gradually and peaked at 10,000 number of books which were being read by women in 2013. However, there was a slight decline in women's reading capacity in the end of period.

In contras, men's capacity was hit a high of 14,000 books in 2014. Even it stood at 3,000 books in beginning of period. In 2013 was a year whereas women and men had the same number of reading books. It was peaked at 10,000 books for both sexes.

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Writing Feedback / Task 1: Amount of books purchased in Germany, France, Italy and Austria during 1995 to 2005 [2]

The graph illustrates the much money spent on books in four European countries such as Germany, France, Italy and Austria during 1995 to 2005. US dollars uses as the measurement on this graph. Overall, it can be seen the spending money on books in four European patterns were increased for all of four countries. However, Germany occured as the most dominant on it in the end of period.

The Germany's amount was higher than the other three countries and it stood at 80 million US dollars in 1995. There was a steady rise in Germany's money spent on books in 1999. Otherwise, in 2003, it decreased slightly at approximately 83 million. Next two years experienced rose in Germany's amount which it reached a high of around 93 million. Besides, the money spent on books in France increased gradually until the end of period.

Turning to Italy and Austria, both countries trend growth gradually till the end of 2005. Although, Italy was higher than Austria in the beginning of period that it stood at 50 million, Austria reached a high of about 60 million higher than Italy in 2005.

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