Writing Feedback / Students work hard for their studies and sometimes it causes some damage [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you tink are the main causes ?
What solutions can you suggest ?
In these days, the urgency of work hard in the learning process has forced youngster to face under pressure and have short of rest time. It is argued that those are caused by certain reasons, while possible alternatives can be rendered to overcome this situation.

There is no doubt that most parents expect their children to achieve the best mark of their study. Considerable amount of time spending on doing homework or extra learning by children in their home. In addition, high-competitive system in education process insists the students to obtain high standar to pass the test or examination. As a result, most of them can possibly feel depression due to the great pressure. It is inevitable that because of those conditions childrens cannot relaxing their leisure time.

However, there are several solutions can possibly make the situation better. Initially, it is fundamental for the parents to encourage their children to overdo their activities with enjoy and. I would argue that both parents and government have to play a great role to give better treatment to lead the young generation reaching the bright future by letting the children express their mind in the leisure time properly. It is possible for the government to arrange a policy for educational system which is not examination-oriented to measure student capability. Therefore, the pupils can enjoy reasonably their rest time.

In conclusion, it is imperative that several conditions such as expectation of parents and educational system can lead to under pressure and lack of leisure time. I defenitely believe that both parents and governments should think to provide reasonable amount of time for young generation to escape from depression due to the learning system.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: Diagram of manufacturing tea (using both traditional and modern methods) [3]

The presented diagram depict about two kinds of phases for producting black tea. Overall, it can be seen that although has different purpose, both traditional and modern methods involve fermentation process in manufacturing tea.

To begin with, collecting stage is aimed to select the best quality of tea leaves through only pick bad and 2 the top leaves. And then, when stepping to the withering stage, the selected leaves will be spread out on the rack and air passed through leaves so as to reduce 60 percent of moisture.

Turning to the traditional method works operates by rolling and crushing tea leaves, while modern method by cutting, tearing, and curling tea leaves. In oxidation process, enzymes and air are mixed and change the colour of leaves to be copper. Afterwards, it dried by frying in the oven or by hot air dryers. Following that, it results aroma and flavour of leaves and remove 97 percent of moisture.

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Writing Feedback / The development of media technology such as TV and internet has affected citizen's activities [2]

It is more and more difficult to escape the the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

Media is of pivotal role for human's lives to communicate each others. As such, the development of media technology such as television and internet has affected to citizen's activities commonly identified there are both benefits and drawbacks in global society. In this essay will discuss both views.

It is inevitable that the use of media technology especially internet can render some benefits for inhabitants. For last a decade, there is large number of people utilise internet to support their communication. It could possibly text a message electronically by email appication to other netizens entire the world. In Addition, enourmous sorts of information can be accessed massively in order to up-date the recent news in society. Therefore, it is essential for people to use the media for supporting their needs.

Nevertheless, people also have to be worried about several dire effects which can be possibly resulted by the media. There are so many various of television contents or video games in internet might be inapropriate for human behaviour, in particular for children. It shows that several programs involving violence in their contents. A 2010 review by psychologist Craig A. Anderson and others revealed that the evidence strongly suggests that exposure to violent video games and television programs is a causal risk factor for increased aggressive behavior, aggressive cognition, and aggressive affect and for decreased empathy and prosocial behavior. Therefore, this can result to harmful impact for human beings.

In conclusion, Although many kinds of advantages can be taken by society from media, it is essential to note that it can potentially lead people to negative effect. I would argue that human have to utilise the media wisely in order to prevent the aforemnetoned impacts.

Writing Feedback / The presented table highlights information of train transportation in four countries in 2007 [2]

The presented table highlights information of train transportation in four countries in 2007 categorized in the three features. Number of passangers counted in percentage, travel distance on average kilometers, and trail carry counted in billions of tons. Overall, it can be seen that length of passenger journey was dominated by Japan, while USA carried most amount of cargo by rail.

A closer look at to the data, the longest travel accounted for 1,980 kilometres by Japan with the highest percentage in number of passenger as well at 27 percent. There was an almost similar number both UK and Italy in distance travel each 770 kilometers and 780 kilometres. However, USA stood at the shorter distance.

On the other hand, U.S transported a vast amount of cargo carried at 2,820, although it was the lowest percentage in the number of passanger at a very small number. Likewise in distance feature, there was an alike number in cargo carried among UK, Japan, and Italy at about more than a fifth. However Italy witnessed at the least number at 21.9.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: the diagram illustrates the operation of automatic photo both for passport [2]

The presented diagram illustrates about the operation of automatic photo both for passport. Overall, there are two kinds of picture can be produced, those are large format and passport-sized photos.

To start with, this technology consists of several equipments. In the inside, there is adjustable stool in order to arrange the position precise to the eye level. And then, a mirror is utilised to ceck our appearence before capturing picture. In that process, the curtain must be closed. While outside the room, there a slot to input the coins to operate the printing machine.

The first process of this stage is taking picture in the room which is closed by curtain. Yet before that, it is required to enter choins. Following that, the picture will be printed in 1 large format or 4 passport-sized photos. Just below the slot coin there are two buttons to choose both colour photo or black & white, in which for passport photos. After waiting for 60 second the photos will be delivered.

Writing Feedback / Education is a crucial part to reach bright future of horizons [2]

Please give me suggestion to improve my writing skill:
Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

How far do you agree or disagree with the above views ?
Education is a crucial part to reach bright future of horizons. As such, it is believed that graduated from highest level of education can support people to obtain a well-paid job, gaining work experience by involving in the workplace after school level in a reverse.

It cannot be denied that education level is very determinative to get a job. This is because there is large number of job availabilities require a high level of knowledge which are of higher income. For example, in this era many kinds of professional job are employeed by graduated students from university such as accountants, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, and so forth. In addition, a news from theguardian.com revealed that in 2015 medical practitioners are placed in top ten of highest job. It is inevitable fact that it by completing course in high degree can make people to have more chance gaining better job.

Nevertheless, working experience can help people to improve their career as well. This is because by engaging in work in long-term can boost the ability of people to work a job. An article from career.govt.nz informs that involving in a job early can help people to improve their job opportunities later since job interview usually ask about work experience which is more prioritised to get a job. Hence, experience can be benefit for our better future.

In conclusion, Although can lead to boost career by working after study, it is imperative that completing study from highest education can . I firmly agree that professional jobs which have well-paid salary can be easier to be gained by education degree than just depends on work-experience.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: the wealth in a country versus population proportions in various regions of the world [3]

The presented bar chart highlights information about world population and wealth distribution in various regions, and counted in percentages. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of wealth countries have a less population, whereas most of the lowest income in a reverse.

With regarding to the data, the three countries of prosperous nation including Europe and Rich Asia-Pacific accounts for higher income with the top rank is placed by North America at more than a third. While the lowest income are placed by Africa and India at very small number. It is shown a very large gap of population and wealth level in North America by approximately 1:6.

On the other hand, there is a similar proportion in the number of population in three areas (Other Asia Pacific, India, and Europe) at about 15 percent. Following that, although it records the high population in China, Other Asia Pacific, and India, those just have wealth level at under 5 percent. However, Latin America & Caribbean witnesses a short distance both two categories by 1:2.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK II : work-family together and children development [3]

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents absence.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion

To fulfil household needs is essential for family. As such, it has become a trend in this modern era for working together both parents which can be useful for children, while others argue that lack of attention is a reverse.

There is no doubt that luxurios life can be experienced by children when their parents work together. This reason, since it can create a large number of income for their necessities. For example, the wide range of children needs in their education such as books, school fee and so forth can be supported through the parent's money. In Addition, they also can urge their parents to buy video games, mobile phones, and others in order to enjoy their life. Hence it cannot be denied that work-family together render various of benefits for children.

However, there are also claim of drawback from both father and mather working which can lead to the lack of support and affection for the children. Since there is not enough time for mother to separate their time between working and childcare. An article 2013 in secureteen.com reported that poor-quality day care services can hamper a child's emotional and social development. Under-qualified and over-burdened staff and poor facilities at the daycare can affect your child's physical and psychological health. In Addition, If mother bring their frustration from workplace at home, children could develop a negative attitude. Thereby, it will bring dire consequence for chidren development.

In conclusion, although additional income will be achieved due to work-family together which can be enjoyed by children, negative impact can influence children life. I would argue that parents should prioritise children development than to gain a vast amount of money.

Writing Feedback / Railway passengers in the U.K. In 1950, the National train stood at top rank with 1,000 users [2]

A break down of the passengers in the three kinds of railway systems in the U.K from 1950 to 2004/05 is presented by chart and counted by number in million people. Overall, the most common train transportation was taken by National Rail Network and the London Subterranean, whereas, the Light Rail and Metro systems was the least popular.

To begin with, in 1950, the National train stood at top rank with 1,000 users, while the London Subterranean at the second position at just under 750. At the following year, the National reached a peak and followed by a sharp drop to at 500 in 1980. However, the London Underground experienced a slight decline to the lowest at the same period as well. After that, both of them witnessed an upward trend and taken the same point at just above 750. Surprisingly, the London finished in the first rank surpassed the the National Rail Network in the end of period.

On the other hand, new train systems started to be used in 1960s period had the least commuters than two others. It recorded at a very small number and fell down to lowest level in 1980. However, at the end of period, it began to show an increase trend got near to 250.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: the satisfaction of spending money - in shops, restaurants, and design (New Zealand) [2]

A break down of satisfaction rate survey both male and female in three categories conducted in Auckland, New Zealand is presented in table and pie chart and counted in percentages. Overall, the majority of women and men recorded higher rate in satisified scale in shops, restaurants, and Design.

To begin with, men record as the highest proportion in shops and restaurants each accounts for 45 percent and 55 percent. Although women show the highest level in the same scale as well, yet they surpass the men percentage in very satisfied level each rate 34 in shops and 27 percent in restaurants. However, both genders note a very large gap in disatisfied respondents in restaurants by 1:4.

When it closer to the design, both male and female experience top rate in satisfied scale at more than three-fifths. Whereas at the lowest level, it is placed by Disatisfied and No Comment scale at almost similar percentages at about 10 percent. However, very impressive satisfaction rate is stood in the mid-level at 17 percent.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: cell-pone market share - upward trend in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson. [2]

This is my writing task I, please give me suggestion to improve my writing skill:

A break down of selling rate of cell-pone manufacturers in 2005 and 2006 is highlighted by table and counted in percentages. Overall, the proportion of mobile phone selling in three companies experienced an expanding trend, while the rest of manufacturers were recorded tencency to decline.

There was an upward trend of market share in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson. The market leader was placed by Nokia at 32.5 in 2005, and rose slightly at more than a third in the next year, however the most growh was Motorola which expanded to 21.1 percent.

On the other hand, it experienced significant fall for the Others from 19.2 in the first year to 16.2 percent in the next year, while BnQ Mobile, LG, and Samsung had just minimal drop. It recorded that Samsung decreased more than a half from 4.9 percent to 2.4 percent. Although there was some changes in the level of sales, it shown the rank of market share remained unchanged in the last two years.

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Writing Feedback / A breakdown of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Britain 2005 [2]

This isi my writing, please give me suggestion in order to boost my writing skill:

A break down of employment labour from different genders based on the kinds of job in Great Britain in 2005 is illustrated by chart and counted in percentages. Overall, the highest rate in men workers was placed by the Skilled trades, while the administration and secreatarial job was the top percentage in women occupation.

Regarding to the chart, it was noticeable that the skilled trades was the first rank in men labour at a fifth. There was an equal percentage in men occupation as many as aproximately 13 percent between the Elementary and the Process, Plant, and Machinary sector. Whereas, at the lowest level was the Personal Services at a very small number.

By contrast, women was the most popular in administrators and secretary at more than 20 percent and recorded as the highest entirely. While the Managers and the Professional stood at the mid-level where were of similar proportion at more than 10 percent. However, the Elemenatary job experienced almost similar percentage both of genders at more than 10 percent. Interestingly, there was a very large gap both male and female in the skilled trade occupation and the personal service.

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Writing Feedback / Holidaymakers and businessmen have been enjoyed the ease and convenience of air transportation [2]

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights ?
Do you think flights should be taxed more ?

These days, holidaymakers and businessmen have been enjoyed the ease and convenience of transportation which provided by aeroplane companies, however there are other drawbacks for the citizens and environment are resulted by this activity.

There is no doubt that holiday and commercial activities have been supported by the rise number of flights in the world wide. Long distances place can be accessed easily by the tourists from entire world and business activities across the countries. To illustrate, some migrant workers abroad expect to send a gift to their family in their own countries to be more excessively. By utilising this mode of transportation, they can give their presents without spending time more than before. Hence, it has brought a lot of advantages to support human activities.

Nevertheless, apart from those benefits, it has contributed as well to the air pollution due to the use of fossil fuel by this transport. A study 2015 from Center for Biological Diversity revealed that aircrafts emitted nitrogen oxides, known as NOx, which contribute to the formation of ozone, another greenhouse gas. Emissions of NOx at high level result in greater concentrations of ozone than ground-level emissions. In addition, the number of air accidents accounted for the death a lot of victims for last decades. Therefore, it has proved that those are jeopardize for viable life of the global residents.

In conclusion, Although it is true that some advantages can be relaxed by the citizens, the drawbacks can be a serious problem to the human's lives. I firmly believe that to tacke some effect to the environment, increase flights taxes can be arranged by the governments in order to cost the damages of flights using.

Writing Feedback / Youth crime due to the lack of social and emotional learning from their parents as the major cause? [2]

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that the children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Character building is pivotal things for children developments. As such, some experts believe that youth crime occured due to the lack of social and emotional learning from their parents as the major cause. Whereas, there is another factor such internet or Televison programs which can influence younger people to commit a crime.

There is no doubt that in the modern era, both mother and father have a busy schedule to work in order to earn money. Yet in addition their children need to obtain control and attention from their parents as well. The presence of parents at least can monitor children's activities which will potentially break the rule. A study 2009 in New Zealand published by Principle Youth Court Judge of New Zealand revealed that one of the predominant factors in youth crime is low level of warmth, affection, and closeness between parents and young person. Hence, it is inevitable fact that if emotional learning for children can lead to prevent them to create a crime.

Nevertheless, it cannot denied that in these days there are sorts of crime content are ubiquitous and can be accessed by everyone, includling teenagers. In social media and Television programs, those can be found easyly for them. For example, since the popularity increase of Facebook among the youngster, it recorded that majority of them access certain games such as Criminal Case, War Craft, Counter Strike and so forth which are of violent contents as the most viewer by the teenagers. As a consequence, the teenagers has got an example from those. therefore, it can possibly contribute to lead the youngsters doing a crime.

In conclusion, Although it is crucial for youngster to learn emotional and social learning, another factor contributes to the children's behavior as well. I strongly disagree that emotional learning is a single factor which can lead to the icreasing level of youth crime, it shows that other elements could be possibly correlated to this circumstance.

Writing Feedback / For last few decades, the extreme gap has been recorded between wealthy and poorer countries. [4]

Please, give me suggestion when there are some mistakes :

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap ?

For last few decades, the extreme gap has been recorded between wealth and poorer countries. It is argued that there are several reasons which has led to the increase of inequality rate such as level of education, health rate, and famine, whereas there are some choices could be done by governments in order to tackle this problem.

There is no doubt that several countries in Africa and Asia territory are facing less income per capita. This is believed as a result of lack of education for the citizens. Since to gain a level of high income such wealth nations is required skill and better knowledge from education system. Following that, without appropriate healthcare and food availabiity people cannot afford a better performance in their works. Hence, under those conditions, it is quite difficult for them to contribute to enhance best result like what people have produced in wealth countries.

Nevertheless, there are possiblity of ways could be taken by the policy makers to deal with this problem. Such development aids from wealth countries could be an alternative to finance development programs in less-developed countries. In addition, it is crucial for governments to list education program as priority in order to boost human capabilty. Consequently, it can improve the level of live for inhabitants in poorer nations which could cut down the gap. Therefore, those aforementoned steps can become solutions for dealing with the circumstance.

In conclusion, it is imperative that the major reasons of inequality trend among the nations in whole parts of the world could be overcome by some regulations. I definitily sure that collaboration both goverments from the poorer and wealth country through certain policies could possibly make the condition to be better.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK II: The E-Books and other new forms of media controversy [2]

Hello mates, I extremely need your help your help to improve my writing skills by giving suggestion to my writing, thanks

With recent developments in technology like e-books, some people feel that printed media like books, news papers, and magazines will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that these forms of media will never disappear.

What is your opinion ?

The development of sophisticated of technology has affected for almost all aspect of human lives. As such, it is assumed that printed publications such as books, newspapers, and magazines are projected to be subtituted by recent shape. Whereas, other argue that those are will remain exist for a long time.

It can be denied that the infomation of printed media is more reliable than the soft copy version. Especially for academic purposes, it prefers books and journals as the major references of citation than online media resources. Moreover, integrated journals which internationally accredited by the thrusworthy institutions are prioritised. As a result, those are essential for using the printed media as reliable source. Therefore, it shown that printed literature will be never replaced by the presence of the recent technology.

Nevertheless, the using of novel form of media has resulted to degradation of newspapers market shares. it can be seen that the majority of people could access the media whenever and wherever they are. In 2016 a newspaper based in the U.K "The Independent" announced to stop their production activity due to dramatic decline of selling rate. However, it continues to provide online version of news in independent.co.uk which it assumed as a new strategy. Hence, it is inevitable fact that the new forms will change the elderly.

To sum up, although the books and newspapers provide complete and reliable information than , the ease and convinience of using electronic version of media are being accessed easly for the citizens. I defenitely believe that sooner or later, digital version of manuscript will replace the old form.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the rainwater phase collected and reused for household needs [3]

hello friends, this is my writing IELTS task I, please give me suggestion to boost my writing skills:

A break down of the rainwater phase collected and reused for household needs is illustrated by diagram. Overall, there are two main schemes of collecting water before canalising to the house.

To begin with, rain falls produce a vast amount of water will be collected in dam as a water deposit. Afterwards, it is distributed in the water treatment plants so as to make it properly to consume as drinking water and other purposes. The excess of consumption from the house is carried to the wastewater treatment plant for puryfing process or canalised to the river.

At the same time, when rains, it is provided a water tank to store the water. It is linked by pipe-line to the homes for being utilised to fulfill domestic needs, while the rest is canalised by drain-pipe where connected to the drainage. After being consumed for certain needs, it is sent to the wastewater treatment plant. It is recycled to reuse again and the rest will be sent to the river.

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