Writing Feedback / Getting better life with English mania [4]

Mania can be good, alarmingly, and unfortunately deadly. Needless to say, there is a novel kind of mania in the word, learning English. Surprisingly, 2 billion people eager to learn English with the largest proportion comes to China. The reason why is crucial to learn this linguistic science is because we can get better life through this language such as obtaining a job and also enrolling favorite school. With studying English, we can discuss regarding hunger, poverty and disease with a vast range of people in the world.

Writing Feedback / How to deal with narcissist when taking holiday [4]

Needless to say, having an enjoyable holiday is overwhelmingly appealing. However, it is enormously terrifying when we make a plan for this entertainment with such narcissistic personality people. How can we deal with this circumstances?. As such, this article explains just to make them become your friend. Subsequently, playing the contrary role is good notion when you get fruitless twattling. Another way is to trying to make them feel good with interesting question.

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Writing Feedback / The breakthrough platform from central bank of Indonesia [2]

The central bank of Indonesia officially released regarding the office of the financial breakthrough technology on November, 14th. This office as advisory central for plenty of (fintech) financial technology firms in Indonesia has played an enormously role in economic issue in Indonesia. The reason is perfectly plain that this innovation are used to develop industry for more expanding and making sure better financial inclusion since the fact that almost half the Indonesia inhabitants had a lack of knowledge about financial literature. Surprisingly, there have been 120 companies driving financial companies with a vast range of segments such as e-wallet, financial settlements and crowdfunding platforms.

Writing Feedback / When we learn a foreign language it activates brain's both of hemispheres [2]

TED Summary : The benefits of a bilingual brain

Needless to say, when people study multilingual languages, they tend to easily understand watching international movie and traveling in another country. As such, when we learn another linguistic, it spontaneously makes brain in both of hemispheres active. It can active both of brain' hemisphere for children since they can feel have social and emotional contact. However, for the adult, it can only active one hemisphere. The reason why it is crucial ideas to learn another bilingual is that it can make them to have several skills such as problem solving, switching task quickly and also strongly focusing on something. As a result, learning linguistic science gives huge advantages. Thus, it makes them to become healthier, and more actively engaged with people.

Writing Feedback / Why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. [3]

Chris Aderson gives an explanation regarding why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. The reason why is perfectly plain that he readily concedes when people take a scientific research into account with great curiosity and hard effort, it can make change the world better as such. In this TED video, he strives to give some examples about the discoveries done by Richard Feynman, Erastothenes, and also Galileo led to scientific discoveries.

Writing Feedback / The two maps present the development of the district site in Stokeford [2]

The two maps present the development of the district site in Skoteford, a period of 80 years, started in 1930. Looking at details, before being established, the area was certainly farmland and several shops there.

To begin, between 1930 and 2010 there are several alteration in the course of 80 years. Farm animals and shops were easily seen in former year but it was demolished in the years later. Surprisingly, in the latter year, modern settlement was developed in this area, running alongside a main road. In any case, the yard and large house was replaced by the private house and retirement home respectively.

In a stark contrast this, the primary school was expanded with bigger area, located in eastern of post office.The government build motorway junction in the north, between road in front of elementary school and bridge. Afterwards, retirement home was bigger with paving highway linked in the main street.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS PART 1- MAP the alteration of urban planning [2]

The two maps presents the layout of urban planning, a period of 62 years, started in 1948. Looking at the details, before being established, the city was house settlement, business sector and the church.

Looking at the details, in 1948, there were several house residents in the central of this city with the garden in the left side of industrial area. After years, both the house and factories was knocked-down with replacing in commercial buildings. In any case, the local mall was also relocated to in front of petrol station. The old-building of local supermarket was changed into a huge commercial sector. The church located near by the canal was replaced with building the sport stadium.

An airport has been built beside the highway in the north-east of this city for replacing business sector in 1948. However, several residential houses in the south-east of this town remained unchanged over a period.

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Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 IELTS, THE ALTERATION OF AREA IN BRADENBURG [2]

The two maps present the development of this urban planning between 1990 and 2010 in Bradenburg, alongside with mall and novel railway were built. Looking for the details, before being established, this site was many of trees and retirement home in the immediate surroundings of main street.

To begin, there are enormously developments regarding the transportation in this area. In 2010, the airport in northern of this city was built. Subsequently, the government added the railroads along the coastline with a huge manufactory in the west of railway station. In addition to this, a ferry port was reconstructed, adjacent to new railway station.

It was several the other business sector built in this city. In 2010, an enormously big supermarket could be seen in the south-east of the city and also the five major apartments in south of mall, alongside a new motorway and in the north-west of the city, nearby an artificial lake. In any case, the private house in northern-east of this city was built in the last year.

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Writing Feedback / The illustration depicts the frog's metamorphosis dividing into six different phases. [2]

IELTS PART 1 - The life cycle of frog

The diagram presents the frog's metamorphosis which is a breakdown into six different phases. It is important to bear in mind that the phases of the frog' live is enormously different from eggs to the adult frog.

To begin with, the first process initiates when the female frogs lays their eggs on the surface of the lake. Afterwards, the frogspawns grows into tadpole which is the embryo with a tiny body and a long tail. The next development stage is that front legs appear to be true in the tadpole. After taking many times, the long-tail embryo have a pulmonary breathing to help them to respire in out of the water and the two legs in the back of frogs was grown.

Then the tadpole frog grows become adult frog with changing in their tails getting shorter. In addition, the adult frog become much bigger than the previous one. More broadly, in this phase, the adult frog become strong enough to live in the land.

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Writing Feedback / TASK PART 1 - THE PROCESS OF PRECIPITATION [4]

The diagram illustrates the process of precipitation happened the surface of the earth and the topsoil. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the cycle of rainfall needs several steps before storing in the sea.

To begin with, because of the sun, the water in the sea, lakes and rivers evaporates and rises into the air, called water vapor. When it comes to the sky, the wind blows water vapor cools with turning back into clouds. Subsequently, the wind carries out the cloud to the higher hallway. As a result, the water on the cloud droplet with combining increasingly large granules after several times.

After the water drops into the earth, most the water is absorbed by the soil in the layer of the earth. More broadly, the water turns into sea through river, lakes and seas. For all intents and purposes, the water stored in the sea and it is ready to evaporate again.

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Writing Feedback / Cement production with combining all of the materials and how it is used for the building purposes [4]

IELTS PART 1- CEMENT PROCESS

The diagram illustrates how to produce cement with combining all of the materials and how this cement needed in for the building purposes. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the process to product cement needs some complex processes and the concentrate production combines four different materials.

To begin with, the first diagram reveals that, the clay and limestone are rushed before the powder, the result of first step, passed through a mixer. Next, the produced power passed through rotating heater. Before producing a raw cement materials, the powder has already heated passed on a grinder machine to become raw cement. Ultimately, the cement is packed and ready to be delivered.

The second diagram shows how much the materials needed for producing a concentrate. First of all, it is needed a cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and plenty of small stones (50%). Next, all of the materials are mixed in a concentrate mixer machine. By the time, the machine rotates to overwhelmingly combine all of the materials to create a concentrate for building construction.

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Writing Feedback / MAKING CHOCOLATE; ten steps process with the pods for raw-chocolate and factory for final production [5]

The diagram shows the process of how to make chocolate. Overall, it is important to bear in mind that the total of stages is ten steps included the pods which are taken for raw-chocolate production and the factory which creates for final-chocolate production.

To begin, the cocoa is taken from the cacao tree with choosing the cocoa ripe and pods which is grown in South America, Africa, and also Indonesia. Before the beans is fermented, the pods are harvested and the white cocoa beans are grabbed from its place. Afterwards, the fermented beans is laid in the huge tray under the sunshine. Following several times, the cocoa are placed in the sack and ready to be delivered to several factories with a lorry.

After in the second-hand production, the beans are roasted at a temperature of 350 degrees. Subsequently, the beans are crushed and separated from the outer shell. In the end of this stage, the final process is seen to produce chocolate from the inner part pressed.