Holt Educational Consultant
Mar 26, 2017
Research Papers / Caffeine: Friend or Foe? In the perspective of the child, the adult, and the elderly. [2]
Amber, I firmly believe that your thesis statement in the first paragraph needs more work. Try to find a more interesting approach to the introduction of your topic. The thesis statement is expected to deliver a clear background of the upcoming discussion in a specific manner. In academic circles, it not an accepted practice to start using cited information or offering specific data, based upon sources, in the thesis statement. It is best to save the citations for your second paragraph in order to create an academic presentation of your research paper. The rest of your essay doesn't really come across as redundant and your transition sentences are acceptable. You don't have to worry so much about the later content of your essay as much as you do perfecting your introductory statement. The whole premise of the essay can be build upon that paragraph and ensure that the reader will be glued to what you have to say until the very end. Or, it can be as it is now, not really engaging, and not really preparing the reader for the discussion to come. Work on your "hook" and the rest of the essay will fall into place.
Amber, I firmly believe that your thesis statement in the first paragraph needs more work. Try to find a more interesting approach to the introduction of your topic. The thesis statement is expected to deliver a clear background of the upcoming discussion in a specific manner. In academic circles, it not an accepted practice to start using cited information or offering specific data, based upon sources, in the thesis statement. It is best to save the citations for your second paragraph in order to create an academic presentation of your research paper. The rest of your essay doesn't really come across as redundant and your transition sentences are acceptable. You don't have to worry so much about the later content of your essay as much as you do perfecting your introductory statement. The whole premise of the essay can be build upon that paragraph and ensure that the reader will be glued to what you have to say until the very end. Or, it can be as it is now, not really engaging, and not really preparing the reader for the discussion to come. Work on your "hook" and the rest of the essay will fall into place.