Writing Feedback / The number of train and other transportations increased steadily over the 15 years period from 1985 [2]

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000

The changes of median distance per a person, measured in miles in England for 1985 to 2000 are shown in the table. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of kinds of transportation using fuel increased while the car was transportation modes used with the largest distance.

Between 1985 and 2000, the average number of distance travelling foot and bicycle decreased steadily from 256 to 237 and 51 to 41 respectively, while the number of local bus fell almost a half of the number in the beginning of the period. In contrast, the trend for local distance bus grew almost one hundred percent. Car, which is the transportation used to travel in the largest distance, increased by almost 1600 while taxi only grew by around 30.

The number of train and other transportations increased steadily. The former grew from 239 to 366 while the latter jumped to 585. Furthermore, the average length of all modes of transportations inclined remarkably from 4740 in 1980 to 6475 in the end of the period.

(172 Words)

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Writing Feedback / A date over the Internet? The lack of the information about your mate is the biggest disadvantage. [2]

With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating for your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.

In the modern world, we have seen the developments of technology around us. Because of that, not only applications of social media, but also applications online dating are now available online. I would not recommend this to people around me since the drawback outweigh the benefits. This essay will first discuss the disadvantage that online dating can be established anytime anywhere, then present that the lack of the information of your mate is the biggest disadvantage.

Today, real-time communications such as video streaming or teleconference are made possible by the breakthrough having been done by researchers, followed by the increasing number of online dating. This means that dating can do online. With the advancements of technology, people can interact each other without the gap of communication such as the distance. Also, since the Wi-Fi spots are extensively available around us, people can do dating anytime as long as the computer is connected to the internet.

However, since they do not meet physically, they do not know the real character between them. The long distance that separated them is the reason why they cannot meet. Taking my friend's experience as an example. He had used the online dating for 6 years and had a partner, but after they had met, he disappointed because his partner had temperamental personality, and led them to end their relationship. This experience may be experienced by everyone, and the example is the evidence that we should not do online dating.

All in all, for above-mentioned points, I would like to prefer to choose the conventional dating for my friends. Even though online dating can be done anytime anywhere, lacking understanding your partner's personality can be the bad effect to the relationship

(285 Words)

Writing Feedback / Housing in Lakeside became infrequent while industrial complex saw the largest number of development [2]

The changes in Lakeside in 2000 and 2009.

The developments of Lakeside city between 2000 and 2009 are shown in the figure. Overall, it can be seen that housing became infrequent while industrial complex saw the largest number of developments.

In 2000, the residential areas were located in the north-west, south-west, and south-east. However, after 9-year, housing became uncommon, indicated by a group of houses in the north-west was still available. Another location in south-west became shopping center while there was an enormous number of the industrial complex in south-east.

The number of educational schools increased in 2009, taking over old town in 2000. Moreover, there was a change in entertainment center. At first, the art center in the west was located, but in the last of the period, it became the cinema. Furthermore, the car park was built in the north, changing derelict warehouse. The area of the lake which is located in the north-east also shrunk, and it changed to the pond during the end of the period.

(162 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The process of electricity generation from the sea wave [2]

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.

The process of electric generation from the sea wave is shown in the graphs which the "A" graph inform the process when the waves come to the chamber and "B" graph present when the wave leaves the chamber. Overall, it can be seen that the air is forced by the direction of wave and rotates the turbine to produce electricity.

First of all, this machine is placed beside cliff or sea wall, which consists of the chamber used for catching the sea wave, the turbine for generating electricity, and the column for air ventilation.

The process started when the wave goes to the chamber. Then, the air is gone by the wave to the top of the column and the air rotates the turbine in the clockwise direction. The power is produced as the result of the generating-electricity process by the turbine. Furthermore, when the wave leaves the chamber, the turbine is rotated with the same direction by the air coming from upper column to the chamber, producing electricity that can power up a lamp.

(175 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Is it true that being innovative and independent gives you a better chance to get an awesome job? [2]

Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When we are going to be interviewed, we are often asked what the real personality of ours is. Sometimes, we afraid that our character will not match with the company. There is an opinion that company hires the person having innovation and independence, while others say that people who can collaborate and strict to the instruction are more likely to be employed. In my own perspective, it depends on the kinds of works, and this essay will first discuss the views of working independently that can lead to finish the work faster, followed by working in a team that will lead to make the clear instruction.

First of all, people having innovative ideas are able to make a brand new thing that can be useful for company. It is important for company focusing on selling goods to the public. For people working independently, the time they need to resolve the company's problem is also shorter. Research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru from Beijing University has also proved that they can consume 27 percent of time shorter than others. However, owing to the fact that they depend on their own thinking, they do not frequently overcome the problem's core.

People that can work in a team and follow the instruction sometimes consume the time longer since the debates are often seen. However, because more employees' minds are involved, obstacles facing by industries are solved precociously, and brainstorming resulted by long debates gives one clearly solution. In my opinion, the company has own typical workers they need. For example, advertising company is more likely to hire innovative person while the statistical company tends to choose the people having ability to work together in the same team.

All in all, I briefly believe that the different job will lead to different requirements of workers able to solve the company's obstacle. Furthermore, employees having innovative and independent characters attract the company needing innovation while others need workers that can follow the employers' plan.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / There's an opinion that the hard work and decisive personality are the secret of being successful [2]

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

There is an opinion that having hard work and decisive personalities are the secret of being success. Others believe that having those personalities are not enough. In my opinion, not only hard work and determination, but also family influence are needed to reach the success.

Today, life is getting harder and harder. In order to deal with the problems around us, we should have the good personal habits that are able to overcome those problems. Hard work and determination are the most needed personalities nowadays. Research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru from King University of London tells has told that 43 percent of people having this personality gets the better chance to be more success, and in addition, he takes the wages as the indicator of success because it is hard to measure other indicators. Furthermore, I briefly believe that hard work without determination can decrease the chance to be success since the companies, nowadays, need the people having those traits as their employees.

However, based on my experience, family's influence gives the big impact to be one of the factors of people's success. Every person in the world needs supports when they are down. The TED presentation in Arizona, presented by Mr. John Wakawangze from Leeds University, presents that family gives 63 percent of people's success. He argued that people cannot make a big step in their life without the influence from people around them, especially the relatives.

All in all, based on the research that I've mentioned before, I strongly believe that having a character to choose a decision and giving all of our efforts to do work are not enough. We also need the support from the closest people, especially our family to grab the success of life.

(291 Words)

Writing Feedback / Learning grammar is not suitable for students at primary school [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Learning language is essential for everyone since language is a basic need of our life to communicate properly each other. Some researchers say that mastering a language should be started at secondary school while others believe that it will be better to start at primary school. I believe that studying when they are young is much better and outweigh the disadvantage.

Grammar is a key part of the language and should be learnt by everyone who wants to be a master in a language. There are a lot of grammar materials needed a high understanding about it. Moreover, the group of researchers led by Mr. Nagisa Shiota from Tokyo University found that because of immature brains, the children attending primary school cannot throughout learn the subject. Furthermore, they stated that teenagers having aged 12 or older can readily understand the subject. This proves that learning grammar is not suitable for students at primary school and become the drawback for the primary-school students.

However, when they become older, they will lose the ability to absorb new vocabularies which are the essential part of languages. Young children have the ability to remember one paper vocabulary with only spending an hour, compared to older people needing at least 5 hours. This phenomenon was explained by Prof. Leonardo, the expert of the human brain from Imperial College London, that children have "sponge brain" and it will become faded as the higher number of age. This is the benefit of people starting to learn new languages in the primary school. In other words, starting to earn vocabulary at primary school and study grammar in the secondary school is the perfect way to fully understand a new language.

All in all, I briefly believe that the advantage of starting language in the early time outweigh the disadvantage because even though to understand the grammar is suitable when the brain is mature, expanding the vocabularies should be started at primary school.

(324 Words)

Writing Feedback / There is an opinion that the best way to teach pupils is their attending into homeschooling [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

There is an opinion that the best way to teach their pupils is attending them into homeschooling while others say that public school has its own benefit. I believe that teaching children at home can make a better development of students. This essay will first discuss home-schooling can make better progress since the developments are being monitored by its teacher then present socializing is the biggest benefit of students attending public school.

Every child in the world has its own uniqueness, and we cannot treat a child as same as the others. Having a small number of students, teacher can monitor every single progress and choose the most effective of teaching methods to them. This will lead the pupils to more progress than the ones attending the public school which is popularly believed that many students cannot be comprehensively monitored by the teacher. The research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru in Kyoto University finds that almost 72 percent of home-schooling students gets higher chance of success when they reach the age of 25. This is the evidence that schooling at home is the best way to develop the children's developments.

However, students need to socialize in order to expand their network. As the micro model of society, public school gives the chance to its students to know each other, to act appropriately when they meet, and to have a tolerance if they meet some differences such as the way of thinking, or religion. Because of a large number of students, teacher cannot see the developments of all children in the classroom. The same research also gives the explanation that 32 percent of students cannot be fully monitored by its teacher. This is the main problem of public school.

All in all, I believe that home-schooling is much better because the teacher can monitor its students comprehensively. Having a large number of friends, the students can easily socialize each other even though the developments cannot be fully seen by the teacher.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / The teenagers are frequently paticipating as a part of the working for community developments [2]

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

The teenagers are frequently called to make a part of the working for community developments. There are some opinions that they should get the money for what have they done. I believe that work without being paid can be good for them, and this essay will first discuss getting paid for community is not reasonable then present that working voluntarily can form a good working behavior for adult youths.

Some people believe that older-young generations should be paid for working on development of community. It is not reasonable since they work for charity. There is a statistical result conducted by International Statistical Institute (ISI) in 2015, which told that almost 74 percent of 120 nations on where the surveyed did not pay their youth, especially on community developments. Furthermore, the survey also gave the reason that paying them at this stage of age forms their mind to become money oriented. This is the reason why they are not paid of their work.

However, working voluntarily can form the mind to work based on quality, not based on money, which has been proved by Mr. Fujinoma Satoru from Kyoto University. in other words, this is the right time for them to not only expand their skills but also know more their neighbors around them. This can directly increase their way to act properly with them, which can be useful in the future.

All in all, for above-mentioned points, I believe that it is non-sense for youths who are popularly believed as the starting point to expand their capability to be paid for charity. Thanks to working voluntarily, the older-young generations are able to explore more about the skills they should have and pour to the community as well.

(287 Words)

Writing Feedback / The % of national shares spent on food, accommodation, transportation, health care and clothing [2]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

The percentage of national shares spending on food, accommodation, transportation, health care and clothing in the US Canada, UK and Japan in 2009 is shown in the bar graph. Overall, it can be seen that housing was the highest spending on while the least was the health care for most of the countries.

First of all, the United States and Canada experienced the same proportion around 15 percent for food, followed by the UK having 20 percent, then Japan getting 3 percent higher than the UK. For housing matter, there was no proportion below 20 percent, indicating that most of the countries spent many in this sector. Around a quarter was spent by the US and UK while Canada and Japan had around 21 and 22 percent respectively.

The country where spent the most on transportation was Canada having a quarter while Japan got a half of that proportion. The United States had around 17 percent, followed by the UK having 2 percent lower. For clothing, the nearly same proportion was seen among countries, having around 5 percent. Furthermore, for health care, the United States spent the most, getting around 7 percent, while the others spent below 5 percent.

(198 Words)

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Writing Feedback / In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children. [2]

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children. The problems consist of academic, social, and commercial matters. This essay will first discuss the causes of the obstacles, which are the national examination, bullying, and the expensive books, then present that grading based on understanding, making attention on children's behavior, and using library books can be the solutions of the problems.

Nowadays, everyone faces the new challenges, so do the children. We can see from the academic perspective that the children face the national examination. One of the famous psychologist from Brisbane University, Mr. Seto, said that it could make the youth more stressful because their brain cannot afford it. Moreover, bullying is another cause that can make their life harder, especially on daily school lives. The pupils are also being forced by the teacher to buy expensive books to be their literature in the school.

How the way that can be done by us to overcome these problems? We can try to change the way we grade the pupils to be based on understanding so the children are not forced to pass the exam but they should understand in order to have a higher grade. Furthermore, bullying can be solve using Anti-Bullying Method, introduced by Mr. Shiraishi from Kyoto University, which requires the teacher's attention on children's behavior so that they can reduce the bullying practice in the school. Encouraging the teacher and providing the free books by the schools in the library can also reduce the pressure of children on the commercial side, and everyone can have the same equality each other.

All in all, the children's pressure on academic can be easily solved by converting the method of grading, followed by bullying which is able to be removed by the teacher responsibility on pupils' behavior. Besides, the commercial sector which leads the pressure on students can be reduced by providing a book which can be borrowed by them.

(328 Words)

Writing Feedback / Foreign Language and Mathematics - the subjects with the least disparity between girls and boys [2]

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

The proportion of students passing high school competency based on subject and gender between 2010 and 2011 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that Foreign Language and Mathematics were the subjects having the least gap between the girls and boys while the majority of subjects was dominantly passed by girls except for Geography.

First of all, there was a small gap between men and women, which is almost 1 percent for both Mathematics and Foreign Language, and the percentage for both was nearly the same at around 47 percent and 49 percent respectively. The same trend was seen in Physics and History as well. The former got 37 percent for women with around 2 percent gap higher while the latter experienced 25 percent with around 3 percent gap.

The highest gap was seen on Chemistry having a half of women percentage, followed by Computer Science getting 56.3 percent for girls and 42.1 percent for boys. In contrast, the Geography subject was passed dominantly by boys having around 30 percent while the women got one in ten lower than men.

(183 Words)

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Writing Feedback / A breakdown of figure for the viewers of channel one news between January and December [2]

The graph below shows the average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period

A breakdown of figure for the viewers of channel one news, measured in millions per day between January and December is served in the line chart. Overall, the viewer watching at 6pm news decreased slightly while 1pm visitor remained stable. August experienced a top for 11 pm while for 9.30pm news, it jumped to the lowest point.

Over an 8-month period, it can be seen that the viewers watching 6pm news fluctuated and decreased from just below 5 to just below 3.5. although 11pm news was first introduced on 1st may, it reached a peak 3 months later just above 4 million, the most highest viewers at that time, while 9.30pm program lost its viewers, indicated by decreasing number from just above 3 to just above 1 which was the smallest number of it.

Between august and December, 9.30pm news was gaining its viewers again, indicated by a significant increase to 3. However, there was a significant decrease to just below 1 for 11pmnews while 1pm and 6pm news remained stable below 1.5 and below 3.5 respectively.

(177 Words)

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Writing Feedback / International tourists coming to five different countries, measured in millions [2]

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

A breakdown of the figure for international tourist coming in five different countries, measured in millions, over a period of 15 years is shown in the line graph. Overall, it can be seen that total tourist arrivals increased from 1995 to 2010. We can also see that all countries got the highest arrivals in 2010 except the USA.

In 1995, around 70 million visitors come to the USA while the figure of France stood at around a half of that amount. The tourist coming to Malaysia was at just above 20 while Egypt and Brazil stood at relatively the same number in just below 10.

Between 1995 and 2010, it can be seen that the number of visitors coming to the USA was relatively the highest among other countries although 2010 saw the same number between France and the USA. It was caused by the significant increase of France, jumping from just above 30 to around 90. There was a steady growth to around 50 for Malaysia while Brazil and Egypt remained the same below 25.

(176 Words)

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Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the figure for generating electricity using many sources in two distant countries [3]

The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

A breakdown of the figure for generating electricity with many sources in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010 is shown in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that the units of both countries increased significantly, even though there was a difference in electricity they used.

In 1980, coal was used to generate the electricity, having 56 of the total 127 units, increasing to 150 of the total 200 units in 2010. However, there was a difference in Germany which they mostly depended on nuclear power plant with 155 out of 214 units in 2010.

Hydropower also became the second largest electricity source in 2010 although, in France, hydro-power lost the usage falling from 7 to 2 units. Both countries, however, did not depend anymore on natural gas, indicated by 2 percent for both. The same condition happened to coal electricity source in New Zealand, but in Germany, it increased to 27 in 2010.

(157 Words) 

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Writing Feedback / It is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home. [5]

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

people choose libraries to find information

There is an opinion that starting to build a library is a throwing of money since the citizen can use the internet to find information anything they want. I really disagree with the opinion because not all data from the internet are valid. However, statistical result shows that many people still place the library as the first place to find reference.

Anyone can connect to the internet, and we can search anything that we want from the internet. However, the information from the internet sometimes is not valid because anyone can provide information without being proved. Research conducted by Ms. Urara Shiraishi from Tokyo University gives the result that almost 72 percent web sites except journal website provides the wrong information about the earth (used to be a controlled variable). This is the evidence that we cannot use the internet as our "first reference."

Although to build library costs a lot of money, in fact, since 2000, the number of visitor searching a book a valid journal has increased so far according to the research conducted by Mr. James Goods from Leeds University. He mentioned that there is no point to tell that making libraries is just spending the budget. He also stated that in the future, all academic source should be cited from library. So this is non-sense to tell that establishing libraries are wasting a money.

All in all, I believe that we cannot find a perfect reference from internet. Because of its prospect, making libraries can be acceptable because people, now, tend to choose library to find any information as their reference.

(265 Words)

Writing Feedback / The water shortage is observed in the most of countries over the world [2]

What are the causes of water scarcity? What are your solutions?

In the modern age, water is a crucial factor needed by everyone. It is popularly believed that water scarcity happens to most of countries over the world. This essay will first discuss about the causes resulting water scarcity caused by over water use and El-Nino, then present the seawater and weather modification can be the solution to overcome the problem.

We live in the situation when we cannot stop the use of water. The company can also get the soil water and give the adverse effect such as the lack of water. Research conducted by Mrs. Yui Yoshioka from Fukuoka University found that over usage of water is the cause causing water scarcity in most countries. However, she also stated that El-Nino, the weather condition which summer takes longer than raining season, was another cause as well.

Here are my solutions. Firstly, the company should replace soil water from seawater with using the salt filtration and convert it to be the water without salt. It can scientifically increase the water storage level inside the soil just above 35 percent according to newscientist. Also, weather modification such as giving salt to clouds can solve the dry season although it cost much money. This can be the solution for drought in a particular country. These are the suitable solutions and proved by science.

All in all, soil water used by company should be converted to sea water to preserve the water level in the land. Also, El-Nino condition can be overcome by spreading salt to clouds.

(253 Words)

Writing Feedback / There are some reasons why the happiness is hard to be explained [4]

Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Happiness is one of the essential factors in life. Some people want to just happy in their entire life. However, there is an opinion that it is quite difficult to define the happiness. There are some reasons why the happiness is hard to be explained. Some factors will influence the way to grab the living satisfaction.

It is so difficult to be explained because there is no standard level of happiness. Some people might think that leisure, for instance, is the key to happiness while others say that wealthy level is more important. This is because every people are different in the way that they define the satisfaction. Also, feeling is one of the keys that will lead someone to the happiness. If you do not have the great feeling on the thing that you say that it would make you happy, you will not get the happiness. For example, you love watching TV and you believe that this will give you an enjoyment. But if you have a un-mood feeling, you will not find the happiness on watching TV.

Even though it is difficult to give a definition of happiness, some factors are important in order to achieve happiness. The most important are your environment. You will get an enjoyment if you stay at the place where you have a positive surrounding. People you want to share your happiness is important as well. Psychologically, it will make you happier than before.

All in all, for the points that I mentioned before, it is clear that happiness is hard to be explained. However, other factors can also accelerate the way to get the happiness such as our surrounding and the object that we can share our happiness with others.

(289 Words)

Any corrections and suggestions will be appreciated.

Writing Feedback / The wares on which consumer spends in five countries, located in Europe in 2002. [3]

The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table informs the goods on which consumer spend in five countries which located in Europe in 2002. Overall, the most obvious fact is the most of food, drink, and tobacco were sold in Turkey, meanwhile most of clothing and footwear were sold in Italy. However, leisure and education were the smallest items were sold.

For food, drink, and tobacco, most of those were sold in Turkey and Ireland with 32.14 percent and 28.91 percent respectively. The percentage of the goods sold in Spain and Italy was 18.80 percent and 16.36 percent meanwhile Sweden was the least consumer of the goods with 15.77 percent.

Clothing and footwear were the loads that had a significant decreasing gap with the previous mentioned goods, having no more than nine percent. The percentage of the freight bought by Ireland, Spain and Turkey was just above 6 percent meanwhile Sweden was 5.4 percent. The other items were leisure and education. Turkey spent 4.23 percent while Italy and Sweden had the same number approximately at 3 percent. Spain spent the least number on it with only spending 1.98 percent.

(183 Words)

Any corrections and suggestions will be appreciated.

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Writing Feedback / Some countries such as the United States and the United Kingdom have the special "gap" policy [4]

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Some countries such as the United States and the United Kingdom have the policy that the youth should go to work or take a leisure time for a year between finishing the high school degree and starting university studies. I strongly believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

There are a lot of advantages for people doing the work in this period. The most important one is having more experience. This is important for the future student because the experience will lead the student to get the skill more than the others so that they can reach the grade better. Also, it is popularly believed that the experienced student will ready to study in the competitive surroundings. They are used to do the routines under pressure and it can be helpful for the student because living as the college student need good management skills. Furthermore, this experience will form the mentality of the hard worker to do some task that will be given when they are studying at the college.

However, some of the disadvantages should be paid more attention. Many of them are spending of the time to go to the leisure than learning new experience. Research conducted by Mrs Asuna from Tokyo University reveals that after spending most of the time in the school, the children tend to spend the time to focus on leisure. This will lead to consuming much money as well. Some complaints have been reported so far by the parents that they cannot afford the expenses because of this policy. The family also worries about their child when they are away too far. It could be dangerous for the children because it can make the children out of parent controls.

All in all, I believe that the policy about this should be revised in the future. From the points that I have mentioned before, the disadvantages are more dangerous than the advantages. The government should make the policy or instrument to control the children when they work or leisure so that the children cannot just spend their time without obtaining the experience that can be useful in the next stage of education.

(358 Words)

Writing Feedback / The use of road transport in delivering some goods in Britain is constantly growing [4]

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The line chart shows the quantities that are transported with four different methods such as pipeline, rail, water, and road (unit in million tonnes) between 1974 and 2002 in the United Kingdom. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of the goods were transported by road while the pipeline was the least accommodation that was used to transfer the goods.

In 1974, the goods were transported by road started at 70. Between 1974 and 1990, there was a fluctuated increase and stayed at 80 in 1990. There was a slight decrease by 5 in 1995. 4-year later, the good transported increased significantly to 90 and reached a peak in 2002. For the water and rail transportation, at the beginning of the period, the rail got more goods in 40 than water that just only 3 million gaps. However, in 1998, water started to get more than the rail got. The water reached a plateau between 1986 and 1992 at 60. There was a slight decrease to 50 in 1998. Then it reached a peak in the last 2002. For the goods that were transported by rail, there was a fluctuated decrease to 30 from 1978 to 1995. Then, it increased significantly just above 40 in 2002. However. Pipeline was the unpopular one that got below 30 from 1974 to 2002.

(221 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The reason and motivation of commited crime should be considered to decide on the punishment [3]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

In all parts of the world, the criminal matter is the problem making the controversy topic for people around the world. Some people think that the fixed punishments for all crimes are the must. However, I believe that the reason and motivation of crime that is done by people should be considered to decide on the punishment.

Fixed punishment for certain crime is very helpful for the small level of criminal. It can be a brilliant idea for the nations which have the high-criminality rates. In Indonesia, for instance, all cases have to be decided in the court, from the light level to the high level, so that sometimes, the court is too hard to be decided. This idea can reduce the problem of the court and the court's overload can be reduced.

However, including the reason and the fact of the cases is more important. Each people have the presumption of innocence. How about the person having murdered the criminal sneaking to the house and threatening the family's life? If we are thinking that fixed punishment is better, then we will punish the person murdered. But how about the principle of fairness? is it fair for them? No. The facts in the field and the circumstances should be included in order to give the equality of law for all of the people.

All in all, I believe that before we decided the person is guilty or not, we should involve the facts and the motivation why the people did. Although fixed punishment is a good idea, it will be better to provide the equality of law to all of the people around the world.

(275 Words)

Writing Feedback / Cement and concrete processes - both use rotating force to make the cement and mixing the concrete [3]

The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams inform how the cement is produced with the tools explained, and the production process to make the concrete for building materials. It can be seen that both of processes use rotating force to make the cement and mixing the concrete.

The equipment of cement production consists of the crusher, mixer, rotating, heat producer, grinder and bags. The process starts when limestone and clay as the raw material are crushed by the crusher to be powder. The powder is gone to the mixer and rotated in the rotating heater along with heat that created by the heat source. After that, the material that had been processed in the heater is grinded in the grinder. Finally, the cement is created and ready to be packed with bags.

For the production of concrete, less than a fifth of cement, a quarter of sand, and a half of small stones are used to make the concrete. One in ten water is used as well. Then after all of the material is placed in the concrete mixer, the material is rotated by the mixer to create the mixed concrete.

(186 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The rising of transportation usage, the traffic and CO2 emission [2]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

In this industrial era when people move so fast, transportation becomes one of the most important factors to serve the human need to go to other places. But, as the rising of transportation usage, the traffic and CO2 emission are the drawback and it can be extremely dangerous for us. Then, there is an opinion that rising up the price of fuel will significantly solve the traffic jam and pollution. However, I briefly disagree the price will change our habit as the main cause of these problems.

Petroleum is the basic requirement for the machine to power up. People are used to buying the petrol. This leads the people to choose the private rather than the public one. However, According to research, there is no correlation between price and solving growing traffic. So that increasing the price will not make a significant effect on their ways of using their own transportation.

Now we are talking about the solution of this problem. The one that could be effective is serving public transportation to public. Using public transportation will effectively decrease the number of congestions level in some cities. Also, survey proves that if the transportation is fast, secure, and easy, almost 85 percent of respondents are ready to use the public transportation. If this research is true, then it can make a tremendous effect to solve the problem known that hard to be solved all time.

All in all, providing the mass transportation and improving it are the way that can be adopted to overcome the traffic congestion and pollutions problems. Rising the price of petrol will not effectively solve the problem because, according to research, there is no correlation between price and using transportation. Using public transportation will significantly reduce the problem.

(292 Words)

Writing Feedback / It can be seen the variability of the annual expenses by a school in the United Kingdom [3]

These three pie charts show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

According to the charts, it can be seen the variability of the annual expenses by a school in the United Kingdom in 1981, 1991, and 2001. Overall, it is apparent from the graph that the total school spending in salaries was the biggest expense from the year given, while the second largest cost was infrastructure such as resources, and furniture and equipment.

Started in 1981, salaries that had been given by school started at 66 percent. In the next decade, the salaries rose significantly to a half of the total school spending for teachers' salaries. But unfortunately, the percentage of other workers' salaries decreased by 4 percent to 22 percent. There was a slight decrease for salaries to 60 percent of school's expenses in the next decade.

Infrastructure such as resources and equipment took the second highest expenditures. Started in 1981, almost one-third school spending had been allocated to this sector. Then, in the next 10-year, there was a slight decrease for infrastructure allocations by 5 percent while the furniture and equipment reach a low point at 5 percent. However, in reverse, the spending for resources bottomed out at 9 percent meanwhile there was a significant increase for furniture and equipment to 23 percent. Insurance had the percentage below 9 percent all the data given.

(215 Words)

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