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Posts by Wilyaftika23
Name: Wily Aftika
Joined: Oct 25, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 46
Posts: 37  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia
School: Padjadjaran University

Displayed posts: 83 / page 1 of 3
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Wilyaftika23   
Dec 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The alteration of annually distance dealt by person in various vehicles in two disparate years in UK [4]

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

A breakdown of altering of average distance each person per year in miles in types of travel in England from 1985 to 2000 is revealed in the table. Overall, it can be seen that in general, the distance of all modes of accommodation increased highly in 2000 and just three types (bicycle, walking and local bus) declined over 15-years period.

To begin with, there were six types of travel that the distance solely rose in 2000. Firstly, taxi and other modes of travel had the same number of distance which increased at around 130 miles in 2000. Manual distance of "local distance bus" mode in 2000 was approximately two times higher than in 1985 at 124 miles. Besides, the greatest improvement was car, when in 1985 it was at 3,199 miles and in 2000 it recorded at 4,806 miles.

On the other hand, there were three types of travel that dropped slightly in 2000. Firstly, the distance of walking and local bus was close behind at higher than 200 miles at 1985. After that, the distance of walking was a step decline of 15 miles and local bus fell extremely by 150 in 2000. Similarly, the distance of bicycle was 10 miles smaller in 2000 than in 1985.



  • Question
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Several applications online to create connection with others, can be used to find a soul mate. [NEW]

With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating for your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.

In modern era, an enormous invention for technology is come along. Advance feature message and several applications to create connection with others can be used for finding part of soul of someone. Personally, I will recommended for my peers if they exult with covet relationship and I am argue that there are benefit and drawback of online dating, such as people will not waste time to always meet with kindred spirit and there is unbelief touch for each of pair.

To begin with, advance technology make people easily to build relation with other. Because now, there are an immense attributes in smartphone, such as Facebook, Instagram and snap chat that make people effortless to realize more activities others in a day, such as with video and photo. According to experience my close friend when I studied in my college, he always pushed away by his dream girl. After that he attempt to found out a new female by means of online chatting in Facebook. As a result, now they have pair and every day they always meet in the message of what sup and they yearning release at one time in six months.

On the other hand, dating online give positive and negative effect. Brace are able to focus on massive activities in a day without the necessity to always together in a daytime. Thus, with online chatting, such as by line or what sup, they touch of the best pick having long partnership. However, it also has drawback, such as there is unhealthy relation due to distance and fiber communication. With reference to the latest Married Institution in Nottingham in 2010, 77 percent relationship is ended due to dispute of each pears because there is unbelief for each pair. As a consequence, a few of young people are having relation just by online communication.

All in all, as far as I am concern, I believe that I able to give suggestion to my peers finding soul mate by online. Besides, I think that online dating can make relationship safely, but it also make unhealthy partnership.
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The alteration of the lakeside in 2000 and 2009 is shown in the diagram [2]

... Art Centre is(was) rebuilt ...
... derelic warehouse is(Was) demolished ...
... shopping centre is(was) built opposite the cinema (...) in 2000 is(was) moved into the north.

When the lake is(Was) changed into a pond (...) number of industrial estate was(were) constructed ...
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / There were several improvements in the region around lakeside especially for lake [2]

The changes in Lakeside in 2000 and 2009.

A breakdown of the changes in lakeside between 2000 and 2009 is revealed in the two diagrams. Overall, it can be seen that there were several improvements in the region around lakeside especially for lake while in 2009 lake was replaced with pond and building in the South of lakeside.

To begin with, there were two regions that was separated by river. Firstly, in 2009, there was no lake but it was changed by pond. Secondly, in 2000, in the south of lakeside there was industrial complex and behind this, there was residential area. But in 2009, these was replaced with the largest industrial complex while there were nine industrial building in there.

On the other hand, in the right region of lakeside, there were numerous improvements. Firstly, derelict ware house in the north of region was changed with car park in 2009. Meanwhile, Behind of this building, there were offices and university in one complex which this building replaced old town. On the front of residential area which this did not change, there was art center in 2000 and it changed with cinema in 2009. In addition, school building was unchanged but behind of this was built shopping center when in 2000 this place was location of residential area.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the structure and processes that are used to produce electricity [2]

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.

A breakdown of the structure and processes that are used to produce electricity by wave power is revealed by two diagrams. Overall, it can be seen that the wave and tide are used to generate the electricity and the ebb structure if functioned to rotate a turbine to produce the electricity.

To begin with, there are some equipment that are needed in processing, such as turbine, chamber with column and the main resource is wave.The electricity generating machine work in two methods. The first diagram indicates that the construction is located near the sea. Firstly, the wave gets inside the chamber and makes an air pressure that rotate the turbine that is placed inside a column. Then, the rotation of the turbine generates electricity which is stored in the cells and it has already used.

The second illustration is how to produce electricity by using the ebb tide of the sea. Firstly, the water outside from the column of chamber and the air pressure is made again by the opposite direction. After that, it is spin the turbine regardless of the direction of the air flow. As a results, electricity continues to be generated.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Shape-shifting tech will change work as we know it [2]

ted

Shape-shifting tech will change work as we know it

After I heard TED with the title "Shape-shifting tech will change work as we know it" by Fabian Hammert, I get several main points. First,designers have become very adept at creating interfaces that to manipulate parameters while we are attending to other things, such as taking a photograph.Computer has fundamentally changed the way that we think about tools because computation is dynamic.

Second traditionally, urban planners and architects build physical models of cities and people created inform to allow urban planners to design and view entire cities. As a result, now we can walk around it, but it is dynamic and physical and we can also interact directly. Or we can look at different views, such as population or traffic information, but it is made by physical.

The last, dynamic shape displays can really change the ways that we remotely collaborate with people, when we are working together in person, we not only looking at their face but we also gesturing and manipulating objects. As a consequence, it is really hard to do when we are using tools like Skype because with using inform, we can reach out from the screen and manipulate things at a distance. So we used the pins of the displays to represent people's hands. In addition, we also can manipulate and collaborate on 3D data sets as well. Therefore, we can gesture around them as well as manipulate them. Besides, that allows people to collaborate on these new types of 3D information in a richer way than might be possible with traditional tools.
Wilyaftika23   
Dec 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The majority of companies regard that they should create regulation about their employee dress [4]

In conclusion, while some argue that ...

In conclusion,as far as I concern, employees who have well-dressed can increasing company's image and the quality of work is an enormous integral factor that be able to make a company successfully. In My opinion, I believe that both of aspects cannot be separated and it can help cooperation to develop quickly.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Corporations should focus on taking people who are innovative and able to work self-contained [3]

some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is popularly believed that corporations should be focus on taking people who are innovative and able to work self-contained in the recruitment process. It is often alleged that companies should recruit candidates who are able to work in connected with others and follow instructions. Personally, I believe that it is an enormous essential for companies finding applicants that have multi-talented ability to work and they have been a high creativity and able to pursue all of instructions in companies.

To begin with, it is a massive integral for companies hiring human that have been multi-competent skills to develop of company. It means that, they able to work individual or fuse with others that achieve a successful result in job. According to the latest research of Hanoyama Company in Tokyo, company always received applicant who had high quality and it had inflated standard to approve suitors because almost 96 percent or workers who were worked in there that must had ability to work self-contained and in a team. As a result, it makes them development quickly and now they have a high reputation in Japan.

On the other hand, actually, corporations have aim that they must have inflated profile from other companies and owing to the fact that now, to get good position in a job people must be compete hardly with others. They must have excess from others, such as creation and imagination to give innovation for company. Thus, in begin of recruitment process, corporation always accept nominees who have big responsibility such as able to give new ideas that increase a rate of corporation. Besides, all of workers pursue all of instruction that are given by manager or lots of role from company. It is a massive important because with obedient staff members in a company, it makes they able to work well.

All in all, as far as I am concern, I believe that entrants with they have been multi-talented skills and able to give lots of improvements with new ideas for company, applicants that are received by companies, besides, they must follow all of instructions and role from company. In my opinion, it is an immense integral for each candidate has all of regulations that are decided by company to make them easily that achieve in company.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / I believe that blessing from parents and communication skills are crucial to achieve a success. [2]

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

Owing to the fact that the key to success in life are strenuous work and resolve. But it is popularly believed that there are other factors to get successful in life. Personally, I believe that blessing from parents and communication skills with god and others are an enormous integral to achieve the success.

To begin with, most people often claim that strenuous work and determination are a massive essential to get success. According to the latest research of Professor Jibiyako in Tokyo, 86 percent of primary school in Japan has already gave guidelines for students that to achieve a success, arduous work and perseverance are an enormous important. As a consequence, Japan has advance technology because it has people who have a strong mental to work hardly and to develop their country. however, in my opinion, experience and high level of education is an immense integral to get the best quality in life because not be able to deny that lots of people compete to get prime position in working and it needs huge skills and intelligent to make company believe that we have qualification that they need for development their cooperation.

On the other hand, there are other factors to get successful. Firstly, parents are a huge influential factor in our life especially their blessing that an able to thoroughly smooth of our way in life. based on my experience when I accepted in my college in 2012, at the moment, it was hard to me got the highest score in final exam, but in my surrender, I always called my parents and I asked to them that gave blessing for me to obtain that answered easily in examination. As a result, I passed from my college with the highest score in my university and government gave me abroad scholarship to continue my study. Secondly, communication skill with god with praying and asking the best way because on the grounds that God created all of things in the world, such as oxygen to breath for living things (human, animals, plants). Thus, God certain know that the best way for us. Meanwhile, ability to communicate with other people especially people who have experience in one job that we want to apply is an immense essential to make easily acceptance in company.

All in all, as far as I am concerned, I believe that hard work and determination are an essential to get success, besides there are other factors, such as parents approval and communicate skill to complete our desirability to success and the most an integral is the highest of education that is an immense as determine factor to success in life.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Kids should begin learning a foreign language from the first stages of education [4]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many countries decide that children must begin learning a foreign language at primary school. Some experts are often claim that it is better than they must start learning at secondary school. Personally, I believe that benefits outweigh drawback. This essay will first discuss about ability of people to remember something new, such as new vocabulary decrease analogously with age increasingly then talk about easily to attract children to learn about foreign language in early age and children can easily to study about other language in primary school because they have not many activities.

To begin with, owing to the fact that people can find weakness to recall about something new, such as vocabulary collateral with age increasingly. According to the latest research in Tokyo University, people have ability to store a new vocabulary at five until seven years old, when it is phase that children study in preliminary school. As a result, in the earliest school children more advisable to accept material about foreign language than in the secondary school. However, compulsion children to learn more about new language also not good for their development because it can take much time to them to practice and memorize also in the age until seven years old children must be able to equal about playing and studying.

On the other hand, at a child, people can easily to be influenced because with reference to Children and Education System Research in Queensland in 2010, 87 percent children at age until seven years old will abreast what parents and teachers say to them. Thus, parents can be effortless to guide their children to learn other language. Besides, when children study at first school, they have not many activities in daily. They are just studying and playing. Consequently, they have much time to memorize and practice about new vocabulary that they get in school. According to research of Foreign Language for Children in UK in 2009, 74 percent of children can improve quickly about foreign language because more than ten hours in day can they use to practice. As a result, actually that true that children who study in primary school can study new language better than they learn in secondary school.

All in all, it is my firm belief that learning a foreign language in primary school can give many positive impacts for children because they have ability to save lots of new vocabulary and they have much time to keep practice. Then it can aid them to improve quickly about new language.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children can more focus on lesson if they study in a small group or they get an intensive learning [NEW]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there are two types to give education for children. Some people argue that giving education at home is the best solution for a child's development. But others believe that school is one of education media that it is integral for children. Personally, I believe that for each type of education media has some benefits, such as with teaching children at home can make them more focus on all of materials of lesson and if they get education in school, it can make them easily to communicate with others or they can study together with their friend if they do not understand with materials in classroom.

To begin with, owing to the fact that children can more focus on lesson if they study in a small group or they get intensive learning. It can get if they study or private at home. According to the latest research of Education System New Zealand in 2014, 59 percent of children who get education with private system can more active to ask about materials that they do not understand and overall they can get high score after they did final exam, also they can continue their study in the best high school in New Zealand. As a result, with teaching children at home can make them simple to get education without waste time to go to school and they can get the best score due to intensive education system. So, all of it can help children to develop quickly in academic.

On the other hand, due to the fact that school is one place that children can develop in several aspects, such as social with interaction with others and attitude with they use uniform to go to school. Besides, if children study in school they can develop quickly because they can learn with many teachers with different skills and ability to teach students. With reference to Children and Education Queensland in 2010, 83 percent students can development in some aspects if they study in general school because school has specific method to teach their students, moreover students can discuss with their friends about material in class. As a consequence, teaching children in school is integral to make them more develop not only in academic but also social.

To sum up, actually all of methods to teach children can give positive aspects to development children. Learning at home can make them develop quickly in academic and teaching in the school also can make them easier to interact with human in social communication. In my opinion, I will interest if I can study at school because I am enjoy if I study with others because I can discuss if I do not understand with subjects lesson in the classroom.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / People will give their best if they know that can get high salary for their work [2]

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

Nowadays, lots of older people are often asked for working for the development of communities as a member of societies. Personally, I believe that they must get paid to complete their need in life. This essay will first discuss about people have the biggest motivation to work if they get well-paid job then talk about people need money to survive and continue their life.

To begin with, owing to the fact that most of people want to work if they know that this job can give much salary for them. According to the latest research of WHO in 2013, 72 percent people have great motivation to work after a company explained about funded that they get and they have maximal skill in their job. As a result, people can show their performance in one job if they know they can get income. I think, if people work to develop their community just as work voluntary, they cannot maximal work. However, there are people in a small scale have high social mental to help their community just as voluntary.

On the other hand, despite to the fact that to continue life need money. People work to get income to fulfill their family needed, such as education for children and they want to save money to them in oldest ages. With reference to the latest KTAMN research in Aberdeen in 2010, 67 percent people work because they need money to survive in their life and they do not want to work if they know, they just get pay with a minimum salary. As a consequence, many people work due to money because in modern era, many requirement of household are expensive and all of it must be completed to survive in normal life.

All in all, as far as I am concerned, I think that people want to work hard, with their maximum perform if because they know that they can get high salary even though there are small scale groups of people want to work as voluntary to help their community to develop today.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Parents and technology influence, and it's impact on kids' stress [2]

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives.
What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?


In modern era, lots of children feel that life in under pressures from several aspects, such as in education, interaction with other people and commercial perspectives. Personally, I believe that there are many causes, such as less attention from parents and they involved with technology, such as hand phone and they forget with real interaction with other people. Besides, I think that there are several solutions to reduce these pressures, such as parents have the biggest responsibility to control their children and children must manage their time to use hand phone and to communicate with other in real life.

To begin with, many working parents are less control to their children about several aspects, such as in academic and commercial. Because parents have not much time to attention their children in home. According to the latest KKKLM3 research in Queensland in 2014, 83 % children feel get the greatest pressure in school because they do not understand with the materials in the class and they have not support to review their lesson in the home from parents. As a consequence, children cannot follow what they teacher teach to them and it makes them down. Not only in academic aspect but also commercial too. As a solution, parents must control their children and give more attention for their children, so they can feel enjoy with their routine activities in their school.

On the other hand, hand phone can give the biggest effect for social interaction of people especially children. With reference ti research of Social Science in UK in 2010, 97 % of people in UK use hand phone as communicate tools with others and minimum at 16 hours per day are used by people to play their hand phone. As a result, people especially children have weakness to build communication with others in real life because they always use hand phone. It became one aspect for children at under pressure in social. As a solution, parents and children must control to use hand phone in daily activity.

To sum up, as far as I am concerned, I believe that support from parents and technology effect are the causes of children that feel under pressures in several aspects and I think that more attention from their parents and children can control using hand phone that can reduce these pressures.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Verifying the standards of accountability among high school students in special tests [2]

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

A breakdown of the proportion of schoolchild who finished their high school competency exam by type materials and sexes, covered by percent between 2010 and 2011 is revealed in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that the girls who finished computer science was the highest proportion at over than 50 percent and the percentage of boys who finished "chemistry" category was smaller than others at 14.1 percent.

To begin with, there were three subjects that students had percentage at above 40 percent. Firstly, the proportion of females who finished "foreign languages" and "mathematics" categories was always one percent higher than for males at 47.4 and 49.2 percent respectively. After that, the proportion of females who finished "computer science" subject was greater than males at 56.3 percent.

On the other hand, there were four type materials that students had proportion at under 40 percent. Firstly, the percentage of boys who finished "physics" and "history" materials was always two until three percent smaller than for the girls at 34.6 and 22.9 percent particularly. Besides, the proportion of females who finished "chemistry" material was twice bigger than for the males (14.1%). Differently, for "geography" material boys more dominated than girls at 30.4 and 20.1 % respectively.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The "housing" category in United States had higher proportion of expenditure than others [3]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

A Comparison of the proportion of five main subjects in expenditures in four different countries, covered by percent in 2009 is revealed in the bar chart. Overall, it is immediately apparent that "housing" category in United States was higher proportion of expenditure than others and the percentage of expenditure due to "health care" subject in the United Kingdom was smaller than others in 2009.

To begin with, there were two aspects that had percentage of expenditure at under 8 percent in each countries. Firstly, Canada and Japan had similar of proportion of "health care" category at four percent. Besides, the percentage of expenditure because of "health care" in The United States was four times higher than in The United Kingdom (2 %). After that, "clothing" category in Japan and The United States had similar proportion at four percent. Then, Canada that had the percentage of expenditure was one percent greater than in The United Kingdom (six percent).

On the other hand, there were three categories that had percentage of expenditure bigger than others. Firstly, the proportion of expenditure due to food in Japan was higher than others at 23 percent and it was followed by The United Kingdom, Canada and The United States at 20, 15 and 14 percent respectively. After that, the percentage of "housing" category in The United States was greater than others at 26 percent also Canada and Japan just had gap one percent at 21 and 22 percent particularly. Besides, the Canada was bigger than others at 20 percent. In contrast, others just had the proportion of "transportation" category at under 18 percent.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The graph illustrates some life's trouble after people decision to move abroad. English studio task [7]

1. Overall, the lowest problem for people when live in other countries is finding education ...

2. it can be clearly seen that people who sorting out finance at 18 to 34 years old are the highest percentage at approximately 33 percent.

3. In contrast, both of people who (...) and over 55 are sorting out healthcare.

4. Aged of people who find school for children are an extreme increase from 6 percent (...) 35-54 percent, and it is a rapid fall in over 55 years old by 15 percent.

better for you to input this picture because reader has weakness to write your essay
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The total demand on hybrid vehicles in 2009 was twice as much as three years earlier [7]

it is better to insert the picture in your writing feedback.

... of hybrid vehicles is showed(shown) in below chart ...
The kinds of countries which participate in this survey that are Japan, US, and other(others) . Overall, the total sales in 2009 were the twice amount of the total ...(I think you should check again this sentence )

Firstly, Japan always increases(increased) the sale of hybrid (...), which it has(had) the highest number ...
Not only Japan has(had the) highest sales, but (it) also it]has(had) the lowest number ...
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students' achievement in the high school competency exams based on the lesson classifications [4]

1. Overall, the girls hit the high point ...
------>Overall, the girls hit the highest point in computer science subject during the period whereas mathematics was the biggest accomplishment for boys.

2. It reached 56.3% in which it 14% ...
------>It reached at 56.3% which it 14% larger than male students got.

3. However, mathematics was the largest achievement ...
------>However, "mathematics" category was the largest achievement for male students even though it was 1% lower than female students did.

4. The rest subjects of science, physics ...
------->The rest subjects of science, "physics" and "chemistry" categories, were the highest accession for girls.

5. They had 10% larger of girls, at 30.4%.
---->They had 10% larger than girls at 30.4%.

6. by around 3% and 1% larger than boys did.
----->by around 3% and 1% larger than boys did respectively.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of International holidaymakers' arrivals in five destination countries between 1995/2010 [3]

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

A breakdown of the figure for the number of International holidaymakers' arrivals in five destination countries between 1995 and 2010, the data covers by millions over a 15-year period in five different countries is revealed in the line graph. Overall, it can be seen that there were an upward trend for each countries. Even though France had few tourists in 1995, in 2010 it had similar number of tourists going to USA.

To begin with, from 1995 to 2005, there were a slight increase for four countries except France, because between 1995 and 2000, it inclined extremely to higher than 60 million. Until 2000, Brazil and Egypt had almost the same number of tourists and these increased steeply to nearly ten millions. From 2000 to 2005 these had at one millions differently and over a 15-year period, both of them had the lowest number of holidaymakers if compared with others. Furthermore, the number of tourists in Malaysia and USA rose slightly to almost 30 and 90 million respectively. Besides, between 1995 and 2005, there was a dramatic rise of tourists in France and it rose slowly to 70 million in 2005.

On the other hand, between 2005 and 2010, there were a gradual incline for four countries except USA. Firstly, the number of holidaymakers in USA dropped sharply to nearly 90 million that it was similar with the number of tourists in France. Moreover, others had a sharp increase while the number of tourists in Brazil lower than Egypt and these had total of tourists lower than in Malaysia.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of viewers watching "one news" channel between January and December [2]

The graph below shows the average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period

A breakdown of the figure for viewers watching "one news" channel between January and December covered by millions of viewers per day is revealed in the line graph. The most significant fact to emerge from the graph are that trend fluctuated over 12-months period except trend of viewers who watched at 1 pm. Besides, in August witnessed a reach peak of viewers who watched at 11 pm while viewers at 9.30 pm dropped suddenly.

To begin with, there were four different times of people watching "one news". Firstly, between January and April, the average of watchers watching at 1 pm lower than others and it was stable at almost 1.5 million. Secondly, people watching at 9.30 pm increased steeply to under four millions and people watching at 6 pm fluctuated to under four millions. Differently, watchers at 11 pm would started in May.

On the other hand, between May and December, there were different patterns for each of times. In May, there was a new time "11 pm" that people watched the "one news" and this time had the lowest viewers at about 0.2 millions, but it reached a peak at almost four millions in August and it dropped suddenly by about threefold lower than of this in December. Besides, viewers watched at 6 and 9.30 pm had a similar fell significantly to nearly one and 3.5 million particularly. In December viewers at 9.30 pm lower than at 6 pm but it was higher that viewers at 1 pm.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A comparison of total units of electricity produce by five sources between 1980 and 2010 [3]

The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

A comparison of total units of electricity generation by source between 1980 and 2010 covered by units in New Zealand and Germany is revealed in the four pie charts. Overall it is immediately apparent that New Zealand and Germany had four and five sources of electricity generation respectively. Besides, in 2010, there was a rapid incline of total of unit for each countries which coal dominated in New Zealand while Nuclear was main source In Germany.

To begin with, between 1980 and 2010, there were a significant rise for each units. In New Zealand, the number of hydro and coal increased extremely by 16 and 94 respectively. Differently, the number of hydro decreased steeply and coal was stable at five and 28 unit's particularly in Germany. Besides, Germany had nuclear as the biggest sources which rose rapidly to 155 units in 2010. And it was higher than coal as a major source in New Zealand in 2010.

On the other hand, from 1980 to 2010, there were an extreme fall for each units. Natural gas and petroleum dropped sharply with similar number to two units in 2010 in New Zealand. Similarly, in Germany Natural gas declined extremely by 26 while coal inclined steeply to 27 units. In addition, natural gas in Germany and New Zealand had the same number in 2010, but petroleum in New Zealand was lower than in Germany in 2010.



  • question
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2-Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries [2]

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, lots of countries have the same issue about dearth of water. It is one of the worst threat for human live in the earth. Personally, I believe that there are several causes of water crisis, such as water lavish is used by human and illegal deforestation also there are several solutions, such as saving water resources and reforestation. This essay will first discuss about water wasteful and how to save pure water by human then talk about illegitimate of deforestation by companies and how to prohibit this issue.

To begin with, water is one of the main resources that should always to fulfill for human live in the earth. Owing to the fact that human would not be able to survive without water. Unfortunately, now many people who like wasting water without caring for how to maintain the existence of water. According to the AMKDITD research in Indonesia in 2013, 43 percent Indonesian over to use water for something not integral, such as washing car. Consequently, many cities, such as in Papua demanding to get water. So, needs a solution to solve this issue, such as rescue of water. It is integral implications for the preservation of water. With reference to ASMS research in Southampton in 2007, since 1990 societies in many district in Southampton already contribute to keep water, such as delimitation to use water in family. As a result, water supply sustainable would remanded over time.

On the other hand, on the grounds that, many companies construct the building in forest. According to the latest Halaby research in Queensland in 2011, water scarcity issue, 64 percent causes by illegal deforestation in Queensland. Thus, government in there give a punishment for all of concerned corporations and court to cope a water problem. Therefore, all of people, corporation and other need to keep environment, such as participate in reforestation in their country.

All in all, I believe that each issues has solutions to solve them. Water wasteful and deforestation can solve with saving water and contribute in reforestation program, not only government but all of people have responsibility to do it.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2- What are the causes of water scarcity? What are your solutions? [2]

What are the causes of water scarcity? What are your solutions?

In modern, lots of people can acquire much information using internet. It is popularly believed that build libraries can spend much money. Personally, I believe totally agree with this statement because now, people live in advance technology and anything can obtain with internet especially information. This essay will first discuss about explanation of do not useful of libraries in a country then talk about information can we obtain easily with internet.

To begin with, many issues must solve by government and it much money expenditure. Building libraries can spending of government finance. Whereas, owing to the fact that lots of people indolent to go to library because they can acquire knowledge in others. According to KK3MD research in Norwegian in 2013, 83 percent libraries unused due to rapid of developing technology since 1998. Consequently, libraries with luxury decoration just make government finance expenses and it not useful. Nonetheless, actually, library using to collect many old books that have lots of history and it became a historic relic that people do not obtain in internet but they can get in libraries.

On the other hand, in advance technology like as now, people can easily to obtain much information wherever and whenever they want it. With reference to the latest Emerald research in 2014, all of kind information, such as International Journal or public knowledge in the world, 97 percent can we search using internet. As a result, people especially young adults do not need spend their time in library. However, sometimes people not able to read or download journal in internet because there are some journal that must pay before.

All in all, as far as I am concerned, I totally agree if government only overheads much funds to build libraries, because almost all of people have hand phone with internet that can use to pursuit knowledge easily.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Launching of 'Post-Truth' Concept in Oxford's Word of the Year for 2016 [3]

First of all, about topic sentence. You should identifies the title, author, and speaker of the original material. Such as, "a TEDers, talking about The Launching of 'Post-Truth' Concept in Oxford's Word of the Year for 2016". And the second is supporting sentences, you should follow the same order as original if possible. Furthermore, it is better for you to be objective. Last but not least, You cannot use your opinion and you should mention in general as in the original video.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Fish Caught Result and The Fishing Boats that is Used in Westhaven [4]

... of small water vehicle that used (use) in the same place.
... as many as fishing boats that are used in Westhaven.

... number of Tuna fish that is(was) gotten at (...) and it has(had) different total with(in) three years ...
... that in 2008 is(was) the lowest (of) total of Tuna that is(at) approximately 90 thousand. The catching of Tuna always increases(increased) from 2008 to 2011 with ...

Secondly, the another(other) data talk about (...) which is(was) caught always increasing(increasingly)trend , except is decreasing(it decreased) in 2010 at ...
The highest number of Swordfish is(was) resulted in 2010, ...
Not only the Swordfish has(had) the highest value, but it also ithas(had) the smallest number ...
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Summary Article) Why Mark Zuckerberg Is Fortune's Businessperson of the Year [11]

Facebook, one of the most enormouscompany(biggest companies has)was surprised people in the world. (this is ) Because the chairman(of facebook) , Mark Zuckerberg became...

Facebook which had(has) 16.000 employess(employees) and got(earns) annual revenues (for) almost $27 billion in 2016, with profit(at) approximately $7 billion.
... which built by drop out people(uneducated person) . Nevertheless, (it) now had been(has become) the biggest company in the world particulary(particularly) in media and advertisement. The company has(been) estimated to ...
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED (The birth of virtual reality as an art form) [4]

Chris Milk is a innovative person who ...

First of all, about topic sentence. You should identifies the title, author, and speaker of the original material. Such as, "a TEDers, talking about The birth of virtual reality as an art form". And the second is supporting sentences, you should follow the same order as original if possible. Furthermore, it is better for you to be objective. Last but not least, You cannot use your opinion and you should mention in general as in the original video.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of money which was given by city council and destined for members of books club [6]

Overall, between first year and second year there was slight increase. After that, followed rose extremely in the next year. Finally, in fourth year dropped rapidly. The number of member from first year to second year fell slightly but increased gradually until fourth year.

------> be careful with singular and plural noun
singular noun : you can add "a" before noun
plural noun : you can add "s" after word of noun
--------> in a sentence there are verb and subject, so be careful in each sentence, because as long as I read your essay, you make mistakes in S+v+Agreement.


------> here is my suggest for your conclusion:
Overall, between first year and second year ...

it is important to note that, the amount of money increased slightly for the first three years, followed by a rapid drop in the last year. besides, there was an upward trend for the number of members over four-years period
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The graphs present information about the number of two kind of fish [8]

1. Overall, the number of two kind fish, tuna ...

----->my suggest, in conclusion is you just mention about general trend and the most striking facts also please input the graph to make people easy to correct your essay. Here is my correction for grammatical sentence

overall, it can be seen that the number of two kind fish, such as tuna and swordfish increased slightly between 2008 and 2009. Then, the number of tuna was constant while swordfish fluctuated from 2010 to 2011. Besides, there was an upward trend of the number of trawling vessels over three-years period.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Happiness is the essential matter that it complicate to explain - there are several ways to be happy [3]

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Satisfaction is the purpose all of people who live in the world. Without that, people cannot survive in their life. Happiness is the essential matter that it complicates to explain because there are several ways to make people enjoy.

Happiness is one factor that makes people have long age. People have different level of satisfaction. For instance, for family who have low financial, they can eat three times a day that it can give blissfulness for them. But, for other people it is not sure to give happiness because they thing it is just simple matter that all of people can get every day. Besides, there are people who must have luxury items to make them happy. For example, young adult must have sophisticated hand phone to show up to their friend. With this way they can feel happy, but the other says that with customary hand phone, they are happy because they can call or send messages to other. So, these are reasons why happiness is difficult to explain.

There are several factors make people happy. Firstly is family. With full family someone already enjoy because family is the centre of life. Without family people can feel something less in their life. Secondly is success. Success people can feel happy because they can buy many things that they want. For example, workers who success in their job, they can get well-paid job and they can help other people who need aid of financial. Thirdly is healthy life. People can do many activities if they have extra energy, power full body, and good mental. So, it can make them satisfied.

All in all, many aspects can make someone enjoy. We do not know what make other people happy, because many ways and many simple things can make people happy. Personally, I believe that without happiness someone will not survive and enjoy because satisfaction is essential factor in people's life.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 - consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002 [2]

The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.

The table illustrates about the percentage of kinds of things which was bought by consumer in five different countries in 2002. Overall, it can be seen that, the shopper in five countries bought each item just under 35 percent and the most popular item was food or drink or tobacco for each country.

In the Ireland, most of consumer bought food, drink or tobacco more than others at 28.91 percent. Besides, the percentage of clothing or footwear was bought by purchaser bigger than the percentage of leisure or education at fewer than 6 and 2 percent respectively. In the same case, consumer from Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey were interest to buy food or drink or tobacco than others at under 35 percent. Whereas, the number of clothing or footwear was bought by buyer greater than the percentage of leisure or education at under 10 and 5 percent particularly.

Shopper from Turkey excessively purchased such as food or drink or tobacco and it became a country that high consume of this item which sold at 32.14 percent. Clothing or footwear was popular in the Italy and the percentage item was sold at 9 percent. The last was leisure or education, where many consumers from Turkey were spending on this item which sold at 4.35 percent.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / THE CEMENT MAKING-PROCESS AND HOW TO USE IT as the component of buildings [5]

... and how to use it as the component to produce concrete.
... are crushed by a crusher machine and the result is powder both of them. after that,it is mixed by a mixer tool.
The last process that is grinded (...) until be formed the cement and it packaged into the bagspowder before the packaged process.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The amount of materials transported based on four vary modes of transport in the UK [6]

1. ... the number of materials that transportation based on four types of transport in the UK, ...
be careful with conjunction

2. The data was measured in million tonnes.

3. ... seen that the highest of number of goods was road, which was started at 65 (...) 1998 and rise slightly up to 100.
be careful with pass tense (verb2)

4.In 2002, water and rail have quantities ...
In 2002, water and rail almost have same quantities, but water bit fewer than rail. Than it rose dramatically from 40 in 1978 to 58 in 1982 and it peaked up to 65 in 2002.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Engaging in work and traveling for a year, are suggested for teens who want return to study [4]

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


Walking and traveling for a year are suggested by some countries for teenagers who want to continue their study in the university after graduated at high school. For each young adult it has positive and negative effects for their life. In this essay, will be explained both of them. Personally, I believe that it is effective for teenagers to know more about their passions.

After study at in some years at high school some teenagers feel tired to continue the study or they do not know what the passion of them. So, government of countries make a rule that young adults must have some activities before continue their study. There are several advantages if the rule is realization. For the first is with working for a year teenagers know about education that is essential factor if they want have a good position and well-paid job from working. They will know their passion if they have experience of working and in the future they can choose a major in the university appropriate with their passion. Secondly, if they travel to some place, they can fresh their mind after studying long time in high school. Besides, they can learn more about the place, for example, if they holiday at pretty village and they see that many local young adults cannot continue their study because financial factor. The result is they can conscious that they are luck person who can continue their study.

In the other hand, there are several disadvantages if teenagers must be working and traveling before continue their study. Firstly, if they are working in long time, they can feel confident with their job and indolent to continue their study because they feel that they can buy anything their own money. Secondly, if they are refreshing with long time, it is hard again to continue their study because they forget about materials of their major.

All in all, actually rules of working and traveling for teenagers have benefits and detriments for each young adult. It depends from point of view teenagers. In my opinion, these rules are effective to give motivation and build enthusiasm teenagers to continue their study.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / The proportion of some equipment carried away all over UK [5]

The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The line graph gives the information about the number of the equipment transported in the UK. The data covers from 1974 to 2002 by different type of transport and it measured by million tonnes. Overall, it can be seen that over twenty eight-years period there were fluctuation number of types of transportation in the UK.

In 1974, for each types of transportation s was started at different number. The greatest number of equipment delivered was road at 70 and the lowest number of equipment was pipeline at 5. Water and rail almost have same start point, but the number of rail was bigger a bit than water at 40 and 39 respectively. In 1978, both of road and water increased slightly by one million tonnes for each kinds of transport. Besides, pipeline and rail were steady at started point.

Between 1982 and 1994, we could see that the train of line graph for each types of transport was steady where the pipeline at 17, the rail at 30, the water at 60, the road at 70. From 1998 to 2002, there were a gradual increased in the number of water, road, pipeline to 65, 95, and 42 particularly. But, the number of pipeline was steady at above 20 million tonnes.
Wilyaftika23   
Nov 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Cement is made by limestone and clay, besides, concrete is from cement, sand, gravel, and water [4]

... the information about (the) process (of) producing cement and how to product(produce) concrete from cement. The equipment are used to make cement are (that) mixer, crushing...

Cement (are) made by limestone and clay. besides, concrete(are) made by ...
(I think you can explain it in the body)

I think you forget to add conclusion in your essay

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