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|"joining the armed forces" - FSU entrance essay: Vires, Artes, Mores
3 - Do not start with this. Your reader will have been reading hundreds of essays on "Vires, Artes, Mores."...
Writing Feedbackzoe_marie1 - Sep 15, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 15, 2009
|Offering Incentives - IELTS Essay
14 - thanks guys...i've been thinking about this..but i'm still confused...like this example below from BBC news: "US forces have "likely...
Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 21, 2009 / stealthreaction - Sep 14, 2009
|Response paper for Bill of Divorcement
2 - The focus of the essay is supposed to be the smoking, but you do not mention this theme until...
Writing Feedbackpaolaalonzo - Sep 14, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
|"experience is the best teacher" - Practice essay for CLEP Exam
Writing Feedbackjwinzer - Sep 13, 2009 / jwinzer - Sep 14, 2009
|TOEFL: Media are paying too much attention to public figures' personal life?
2 - This looks good for a TOEFL essay. Just a few punctuation problems... The interrogations of the media often...
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 13, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 14, 2009
|Teacher lecture or students do some of the talking? which do you prefer?
5 - You're right danielh. I think I will just focus on the basic sentence structure right now. I don't want...
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 11, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 13, 2009
|Toefl topic -- why should people attend the university?
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 13, 2009 / Jin - Sep 13, 2009
|WILL WOMEN LEADERS BE LESS VIOLENT THAN MEN, GIVE EXAMPLE AND OPINION
6 - Naturally society expects men to be leaders and for women to be kind and gentle. For a woman to...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 11, 2009 / danielh - Sep 13, 2009
|When a baby comes to this world, the first man they meet are his/her parents...
Writing FeedbackJin - Sep 12, 2009 / Jeannie - Sep 13, 2009
|toefl - Should enter the best university. agree or disagree
4 - yeah~ we should attend the university,as it offers us the opportunity to accumulate the konwledge we need to...
Writing Feedbacktalkysweet - Sep 9, 2009 / Jin - Sep 12, 2009
|If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change?
4 - What do you mean by a standard school? There are many types of schools with many curricula and many...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|a machine that many people,including myself,are dependent on is....
5 - Whether or not it is okay enough depends what the instructions were, what grade level you are writing for,...
Writing Feedbackkutie_9x - Sep 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|MANY PEOPLE LIKES TO LIVE ON THEIR OWN. DISCUSS SOCIAL EFFECTS
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|CBEST: Bad memories should not be treated as a hindrance but as a learning opportunity.
5 - There are plenty of online sources for grammar worksheets and the like. Try The Owl at Purdue. Also, go...
Writing Feedbackxubis - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 11, 2009
|A SOCIETY IS BASED ON LAWS AND RULES. DISCUSS THE PERSON WHO WANT TO LIVE FREELY
3 - Again, try revising this essay yourself, focusing purely on eliminating all grammatical errors. Working out for yourself what is...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|Many Animal are getting extinct from this world, describe the ways to protect .
3 - Simone is right -- your grammatical mistakes are severe enough and frequent enough that they make reading your essays...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 11, 2009
|Essay on a carpe diem quote
3 - Yeah, that shouldn't be too difficult for you. We should seize today because we cannot change yesterday or predict...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Sep 10, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 10, 2009
|Essay Recounting a "Moment In Time"
Writing Feedbackdmitchell1991 - Sep 5, 2009 / dmitchell1991 - Sep 10, 2009
|'saving land for the endangered animals' - toefl IBT issue
7 - This is pretty nice essay for ibt Toefl. Your vocabulary is good. I like your conclusion part....
Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Sep 5, 2009 / linhexi - Sep 10, 2009
|A Separate Peace: Essay for 9th Grade (honors) English
Writing FeedbackNotoman - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 9, 2009
|MACHINES ARE BECOMING VERY SOPHISTICATED, WORKERS ARE BENEFIT FROM THAT,DISCUSS
4 - No, sorry. I can't rewrite your essay for you. Try to rewrite it yourself, using short, simple sentences. And...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Toefl)
2 - This essay lacks a conclusion. Even if it's only a couple of sentences, be sure to include a summarizing...
Writing Feedbacksaurabhjain162 - Sep 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 9, 2009
|Toefl topic--how is your generation different from your parents' generation?
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 7, 2009 / xubis - Sep 9, 2009
|whether solving the problems needs understand the past?
Writing Feedbackangelwds - Sep 5, 2009 / angelwds - Sep 8, 2009
|Making A Difference (to save the environment)
9 - Perhaps you could condense the essay a bit too. The story itself is good, as it shows that you...
Writing Feedbackkmauer21 - Sep 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Is Death Penalty FAIR? Opinion essay.
3 - Oh dear. I agree that the death penalty should be carried out much faster than it currently is (if...
Writing Feedbacksecret_blossom - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT STUDENTS STUDY EFFECIENTLY IN GROUPS.DISCUSS
5 - All-caps is generally taken as shouting, whether in titles or in posts. Headlines are meant to shout, to attract...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|To what extent is your society effectively dealing with crime?
4 - First, you have to decide which country you are dealing with ("this country" is a bit vague when you...
Writing Feedbacklook416 - Sep 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 8, 2009
|Toefl topic:"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has...."
5 - You have many issues in this essay. I will hit the big ones. Your second paragraph ends abruptly....
Writing Feedbackzkglr - Sep 7, 2009 / Catlady - Sep 8, 2009
|Children should start attending school at a very young age even b4 they can read
4 - you write a very small esssay, try to eleborate more. you can add play school that children should go...
Writing Feedbackliiintz - Sep 7, 2009 / niraj - Sep 8, 2009
|Everything began during the hot and breezy Summer ; Reality check essay
Writing FeedbackThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009 / ThumperSD - Sep 7, 2009
|CBEST: If you could be any age that you wanted to be, what age would you choose?
2 - Hmm... This is fine, but simplistic. I wonder if you might want to say something about valuing what you...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Sep 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 7, 2009
|Your favorite movie (in IMAX Theater)
8 - hello Sean! Thank you a lot for your message. I understand right now that i need to change the...
Writing FeedbackYulka - Sep 6, 2009 / Yulka - Sep 7, 2009
|CHILDREN SHOULD LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS AND TEACHER, GIVE YOUR OPINION
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 6, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 7, 2009
|"Like father, like son" - children benefits if they are brought up with care, love from their father
4 - Overall, it is necessary for a child to have two parents to develop perfectly. I think you should write...
Writing Feedbacksung_tung - Sep 4, 2009 / essay0405 - Sep 7, 2009
|"A bizarre charm" - An essay on my most promising bad fortune.
4 - Thanks for your time and consideration for my essay. Now, regarding the essay, it is not an assignment....
Writing Feedbackmikemorpheus - Sep 6, 2009 / mikemorpheus - Sep 7, 2009
|"That government is best which governs least" - CLEP essay feedback
4 - Thank you both for your responses. I did question some of the very points you touched on but decided...
Writing FeedbackCatlady - Sep 6, 2009 / Catlady - Sep 7, 2009
|iBTTOEFL essay - should university students take part-time jobs?
3 - Thanks catalyst0435! This really helps a lot. I guess I have to work on my grammar more often. When...
Writing Feedbacklitingjiao - Sep 5, 2009 / litingjiao - Sep 6, 2009
|MANYCOUNTRIES ARE ORGANISING INTERNATIONAL SPORTING EVENTS.DESCIBE PROS AND CONS
4 - Is it amusing or frustrating that you still capslocked your gratitude but not your essay? You capitalize strangely...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 5, 2009 / catalyst0435 - Sep 6, 2009
|The restraint of power - "Of all the manifestations* of power essay
2 - "Overpowered" means overwhelmed by somebody or something with more power. I think what you mean is the exact opposite...
Writing Feedbackantest07 - Sep 5, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|Do you think the educational benefits of test & exam outweigh any disadvantages?
4 - Sorry, no, we can't score the essay. But we can continue to offer suggestions and corrections for any other...
Writing Feedbackchaskie143 - Sep 2, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|As a young man I'd choose to purchase a business instead of a house; TOEFL
4 - Your prose is clearly that of a non-native speaker, but is not "strange" in the way that you worry...
Writing Feedbackmrarching - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 5, 2009
|IN MOST COUNNTRIES PLANT AND ANIMALS ARE DECLINING ,TELL REASON AND SOLUTIONS
3 - And in most countries where birth control is freely available, birth rates tend to be below the level needed...
Writing Feedbackniraj - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Should government withhold information?--A GRE Issue topic
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Aug 11, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|Essay about the happiest day of my life so far?
9 - That is a broad subject. Some rules are to be questioned, specially the ones that are there to...
Writing Feedbackdccb - Sep 2, 2009 / dccb - Sep 4, 2009
|GRE argument--Prescribe medication on men and women
Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Sep 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Qualities to be a good and complete student
11 - The thing is, what you should do depends very heavily on the level of proficiency you are striving for....
Writing FeedbackBlack_Code - Aug 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Toefl Question: Movies and books in a modern life
10 - So, this experience will maybe motivate you to read more often? The main general principle that you...
Writing Feedbackessay0405 - Sep 3, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|Taking standardized tests to prove learning progress - Toefl IBT writing essay
6 - Well, this shows that is not a good prompt for the TOEFL, as it requires some cultural knowledge...
Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Aug 25, 2009 / EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
|earth hour or how to save the world -essay
Writing Feedbackquia - Aug 30, 2009 / quia - Sep 4, 2009
|Mistakes make success--GRE Issue
Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Aug 25, 2009 / yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
|GRE issue---Government support or restrict scientific research
4 - Thanks, EF_Sean! I have learned a lot from your comment. I will be cautious to the problems appeared in...
Writing Feedbackyx200986 - Sep 1, 2009 / yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
|esssay -global warming&natural disasters
8 - In the long term, burning off fuels in trying to grow up the industry for the better economy are...
Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 25, 2009 / jgv115 - Sep 4, 2009
|Purpose for earning more money should not become the main goal for us - toefl essay
6 - The grammar remains so rough that it is very difficult to follow what you are writing. "Some people...
Writing Feedbacksirius51 - Aug 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
|Her. A short and random idea.
11 - I was thinking about using this piece as a springboard for my Stanford essay also. Something along the lines...
Writing FeedbackLlamapoop123 - Aug 29, 2009 / Llamapoop123 - Sep 3, 2009
|Toefl essay -- planning and organization
5 - to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development...
Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Aug 19, 2009 / sirius51 - Sep 3, 2009
|The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one.
2 - "The technology's development brings about many changes in our society, today. One of these changes is the way people...
Writing Feedbackstranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
|TOEFL: Movies or television now play an important role in our life
Writing Feedbackdhanh90 - Aug 15, 2009 / sung_tung - Sep 2, 2009
|Cbest Essay - Proble in Community
5 - Try "Our community, Muirland Community, experienced a rash of break-ins last year" instead. You have various minor...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
|time spent for studying and playing
6 - I think children need to concentrate on their study for a little time, and then they can play. concentrate...
Writing Feedbacksung_tung - Sep 1, 2009 / stranger1130 - Sep 2, 2009
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