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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 472)

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Will You Buy a House or Start a Business?

9 - I think if you take advantage of most of the suggestions and changes offered, your essay will be just...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 27, 2009 / Londyn64 - May 16, 2009
CHANGE or AVOID CHANGE? Which is better?

4 - It's interesting that you are honest and not at all ashamed about being mediocre. Since you said something interesting,...

Writing Feedbackkirin - May 10, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 15, 2009
Do you support it or not? A mall construction in your neighborhood

6 - I don't think because it is your neighborhood, you necessarily own own your living space. What if you're renting...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - May 12, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 14, 2009
Violence and the youth - two reports

3 - Here are some quick revisions you could make to the essay in your latest post. I'll do 1 line...

Writing Feedbackttc1234 - Apr 28, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 14, 2009
Essay about violence and violent behavior in the Media

3 - I notice you seem to use a lot of paraphrasing in your essay, with few direct quotations. Some direct...

Writing Feedbackttc1234 - May 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 14, 2009
What are the differences between life in America and life in Third World nations

14 - Great, they'll be lucky to get your feedback. I had a Spanish teacher once who pointed out how much...

Writing FeedbackRhadames - May 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2009
Feedback for my essay on Philosophy Paper relating to parfits personal identity

3 - Unlike the de-connecting of hemispheres, and reconnecting them, and then suddenly having the stream on consciousness connect, you would...

Writing Feedbackhketek - May 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 12, 2009
"How must we change our lifestyles to meet the threat of global warming?"

6 - Thanks for this help, i am now feeling more confident on constructing this essay and it may lead me...

Writing Feedbackantondude - May 9, 2009 / antondude - May 12, 2009
Iranian Revolution Recounted in Persepolis

2 - This seems to start in media res. You need to work on situating the events you describe in context....

Writing Feedbackbanannax - May 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 12, 2009
Detecting Deception Based on Nonverbal Behaviour Cues:a literature review

2 - I don't see any grammar mistakes, but I can tell you're lying by analyzing your sentence structure! No,...

Writing Feedbacklialia - May 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2009
IELTS writing: email and text messaging threats written language

6 - hi, i do not think the disadvantages of email and text message rest with the weakened position of...

Writing Feedbackmarine - Apr 30, 2009 / kirin - May 10, 2009
The New Great Depression

4 - Great ideas from Sean; and Marcel explained a problem better than I could have: overly colloquial. What a great...

Writing FeedbackDan - May 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 10, 2009
My paper, for Newt Gingrich...

19 - Yes, for sure, if you are seeking help from everyone possible, and if you show them that you really...

Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 9, 2009
Reflective Essay On This School Year: "Closed Doors Are Not The End"

6 - Ah, you get to workshop this essay a bit, then, do you? It's always nice when teachers let you...

Writing FeedbackBabiix - May 6, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
"The Contested Terrain of Media Text and its Effects on Contemporary Culture"

3 - This is a fascinating subject. I notice you didn't mention that the world of 24 had an America governed...

Writing Feedbackgudjuju22 - May 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
"Our desire to conform is greater than our respect for objective facts." - Essay

15 - Yeah, I know what you mean. They have their purpose. Still, I am often surprised at how much better...

Writing Feedbackx0vicksz - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 7, 2009
Essay on Traditional meal in Christmas Day

6 - :) Sarma mmmmmmmmm, hi neighbor! :)...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 30, 2009 / Chidem - May 7, 2009
English Comp. CLEP - practice essay "Impossible Goals"

9 - Well, they are testing for English competency, and so presumably have backgrounds in language rather than in computer science....

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 6, 2009
What essential skills young people should have in our complex society?

14 - These days, I am busy preparing... Awesome, see you when you get here! :)...

Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 6, 2009
CLEP Practice Essay - effect of computers on work now versus 100 years ago

4 - Thanks so much. My intro was much longer in draft with a better hook and a more specific example...

Writing Feedbackabryant - May 5, 2009 / abryant - May 6, 2009
Aboriginal Rights in the Twentieth Century-My term essay for History

7 - Great question! Fluidity comes from having a central theme for the whole essay, and then having a mini theme...

Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 5, 2009
Archimedes; "Eureka!" essay

10 - Hmmm . . . what exactly were the assignment instructions? If you are just writing a biographical piece, you...

Writing FeedbackFreedomMoto - Apr 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 5, 2009
TOEFL Essay - Convenience food can not improve the way we live.

15 - Perhaps it is a good idea to make time to be healthy? For that matter, while some people have...

Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 5, 2009
"The Masque of the Red Death" by Edgar Allan Poe Research Paper

3 - This is high-quality stuff. You write very well, so you can now go up to the next level by...

Writing FeedbackLunasly - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 4, 2009
Language-Way of Dialect-

5 - The exact instructions would help, as Tyler said. Also, you might want to consider adding more detail to your...

Writing Feedbackcin ali - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 4, 2009
My attitude towards writers is mostly positive. Writers have creative and imaginary minds.

9 - It will be impossible to completely eliminate the use of "I" in an essay on this sort of topic,...

Writing Feedbacksally12 - May 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 4, 2009
"Bad Boss" Essay - selfish, hypocritical, harassing, malice, poor communicator.

3 - Use " " marks to show the term you are discussing: Defining a "bad boss" is difficult, as...

Writing Feedbackinsidecars - May 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 3, 2009
Descriptive Essay: Joffrey's is My First Distance

5 - You might want to elaborate a bit on the descriptions, given that this is supposed to be a descriptive...

Writing Feedback3looy - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 2, 2009
Today, the dominance of global product brands threatens individual identity

5 - thanks Sean for your comment!I will keep practising!:D...

Writing Feedbackmarine - Apr 29, 2009 / marine - May 1, 2009
Write about a belief you have and the pros and cons of it (online writing essay)

5 - Thanks guys, I am working on revisions now!...

Writing Feedbackplugging_along - May 1, 2009 / plugging_along - May 1, 2009
I've vowed to change how I interact with people; Fruitful discussion.

5 - I think you once wrote that wordsmiths pick verbal arguments for the same reason jocks often pick physical fights...

Writing FeedbackMustafa1991 - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
Bioethical Disputes: simple essay on explaining a concept

7 - No, I meant I don't understand how institutionalization is a bioethical dispute. Sorry, I guess the emphasis wasn't clear...

Writing FeedbackTESE - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
Process Anaylsis Essay in 5 paragraphs (CompTIA Network+ Exam)

5 - This is an excellent process analysis essay. The only suggestion I can think of is that you might want...

Writing Feedbackalexxis - Apr 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 1, 2009
All Quiet on the Western Front, main theme of camaraderie

4 - Thanks :)...

Writing Feedbacknuker2guy - Apr 29, 2009 / nuker2guy - May 1, 2009
Description Essay: The Rider

7 - You deserve it! Congratulations....

Writing Feedbackalexxis - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 30, 2009
Rough Draft on relation between the epigraph and Gatsby in The Great Gatsby

4 - You might want to add a paragraph on to the end of your essay in which you explain why...

Writing FeedbackLifeisallugot - Apr 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 30, 2009
English Comp Essay for clep exam- "Banning ammo"

3 - Awesome... I wish I'd thought of that. :) Thanks. I'm working on another right now. I'll definitely reread it...

Writing FeedbackTemsik - Apr 29, 2009 / Temsik - Apr 29, 2009
"Leave it to Allah!" Does this article sound good in English?   2

48 - I'm curious; do you mean that calling for love requires learning, arts, literature, and religion, or that love...

Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 29, 2009
Under the Age of Eighteen and in the Military: Evaluation Essay

4 - Your essay needs a sharper focus. Tyler already pointed out your need for a thesis upfront. You will also...

Writing Feedbackmichaelfrye1970 - Apr 26, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 29, 2009
The Effects of Violent Movies

9 - i have to do a similar essay...i think you should write out an outline intro-thesis main body- write...

Writing Feedbacksilentheart - Apr 17, 2009 / ttc1234 - Apr 28, 2009
Spend more time working hard on jobs or stay with families?

10 - When family is in conflict with working， which one will you will pay more attention to and spend more...

Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 27, 2009
Here's the Problem - an essay

3 - It is my children and their friends who have made me realize how different the coming world is going...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - May 26, 2007 / Rajiv - Apr 27, 2009
Financial anaysis essay (cash flows)

5 - I have no background in this area of expertise, but I can show where some words are missing: ...

Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 27, 2009
TOEFL essay - PR: from-books knowledge and experiential knowledge

6 - This is quite correct, as far as it goes. "In conclusion" is a lazy way of introducing the...

Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 27, 2009
NASA Spinoff Technology

5 - Thanks Kevin. I added the sentences, corrected a few word errors (powered/powdered, premiere/premier, subcommitteE), and I am calling it...

Writing FeedbackNotoman - Apr 24, 2009 / Notoman - Apr 26, 2009
We can know something about a person by the way he dresses.

18 - Thanks all for your great advice....

Writing Feedbackbinu - Apr 20, 2009 / binu - Apr 26, 2009
TOEFL Essay -Why go to university (career preparation, self-actualization)

7 - Well, i think in TOEFL essay, it is important to use conjunctions. May be instead of saying 'in conlcusion',...

Writing FeedbackMonkeyDDragon - Apr 13, 2009 / Abby002 - Apr 26, 2009
University students should be required to take history classes - essay

6 - Some points to consider: When summarizing the case against learning history in your first body paragraph, you might...

Writing Feedbackflorazhou - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009
Critique my current event paper (English Critical Thinking class)

5 - I am going to tackle your first paragraph. I think that it could read a little better with some...

Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Apr 24, 2009 / Notoman - Apr 25, 2009
English Comp. CLEP- literary decline

3 - Your grammar and style are solid as usual. The content is okay. I suspect for this sort of essay,...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 25, 2009
Locke and Rousseau

3 - He was a philosopher who had a lot of influence on ... He asserted that common sense should...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
Austen's satire of society; Pride and Prejudice essay - Check

3 - Citizens--Criticizes... That's the kind of weird mistake that comes from over-zealous word processing program auto-correct functions. I hate those...

Writing Feedbackxeidus - Apr 24, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
What discovery in the last century has been most beneficial for your country?

4 - In the last century, My country, Romania, had passed through many changes and regimes that influence its history in...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
[Essay]The Best and Worst aspects of being a Teenager.

3 - Give some more help to other members -- thoughtful, substantial help, like you might give to a younger sibling...

Writing Feedbackceberus - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
" Rising divorce rate"- Cause and effect essay

9 - Hi Kevin and Sean, I appreciate ur valuable help! ^^ I learn a lot from you. Thanks again for...

Writing FeedbackThuong - Apr 20, 2009 / Thuong - Apr 24, 2009
'Schools are nestles of education' - Essay on Violence in schools.

13 - Thank you very much for trying to understand me and what I try to say. Your help really is...

Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 8, 2009 / Chidem - Apr 24, 2009
A mistake i learned from - narrative essay

2 - The pleasant man from the phone call was actually the head coach of the basketball team. He told me...

Writing Feedbackgacesaa - Apr 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2009
Religion is good for the people - does it touch on the line of poetry?

4 - There is always a certain amount of fun in engaging with a new language. What's your first one? English...

Writing FeedbackProt - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 23, 2009
Personal Objectivity of James Joyce- research paper

3 - This is going to be a great paper! You weave together the information very well. I only found two...

Writing Feedbackhevyhomie - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009
English Comp. CLEP essay - "guns outnumber the population"

4 - Therefore , his proposal is an adept way of limiting the damage done to society through.. (Above) Technically,...

Writing FeedbackSairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2009

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