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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 476)

Replies | Threads
Essay to Compare and Contrast Two members of Your Family

5 - Ahhh!! That is harsh. Parents are people, too. How would you like to have your mom say she...

Writing FeedbackQueenie31 - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2009
Psychology Concepts applied to the real world

5 - ...taught them to sew their clothes... She stayed very close to her sister and brought her along so...

Writing Feedbackteelyons - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2009
"Who Swims with the Tuna" by Quammen and "Riches of the Sea" by Scully

3 - I think it was David Brin who first pointed out that environmentalists are always only really concerned with creatures...

Writing FeedbackCodyB - Apr 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 14, 2009
counselling essay

2 - I would often judge people on assumptions I had been brought up with. Since starting college, I have...

Writing Feedbackkazzy31 - Apr 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 13, 2009
Many people regret that they had not attended a university, but none regret that have a degree

4 - Hi adalumi, your topic and mine are the same thing :D essayforum.com/writing/university-career-preparation-self-6375/ I think your essay is...

Writing Feedbackadalumi - Apr 10, 2009 / MonkeyDDragon - Apr 13, 2009
Education Playground -- letters after your name

3 - I got confused when I read this. I realize now that you mean to say "a part of"...

Writing Feedbackzoomdots - Apr 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 12, 2009
IELTS ESSAY: lessons with teachers versus others sources

8 - oh,yes,sure it does. i appreciate your help!...

Writing Feedbackeffy_sun - Apr 8, 2009 / effy_sun - Apr 11, 2009
SAT essay: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?

4 - Thanks ^ ^...

Writing Feedbackkitty Freud - Apr 9, 2009 / kitty Freud - Apr 10, 2009
TOEFL essay: movies - serious or amusing?

11 - If you like Blackadder, you should check out some of Atkinson's stand-up comedy. A few skits are "Mr Bean-ish,"...

Writing Feedbackeric_ly - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
Something That Changed Me - Becoming a Bully

13 - Yes, six! (Picture me with an amiable yet incredulous expression.) At least, that was my experience. I'm all...

Writing FeedbackANSH729 - Mar 27, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 10, 2009
The individuality, use of machines and traveling for pleasure - essay

7 - Yes, that's what I meant! :)...

Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009
Apprenticeship Program Aplication

5 - I have been searching for the right program, one that enables me to apply... Don't say 5....

Writing Feedbackangelfight - Apr 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009
Economic paper: the role of opportunity cost in financial decision making

5 - Like Kevin, I can only guess at your meaning, as a result of unfamiliarity with the subject matter combined...

Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
Advertisers, affecting our childs thought process

9 - Overall this is a really well constructed essay. I wonder, though, if you might make a bit stronger if...

Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
Definition Essay: Building the Blocks, Becoming Successful (The Climb)

3 - "Success" is derived from the Latin word "successus"... You can follow Sean's advice by using a new topic...

Writing Feedbackbhoptl - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009
Pushed to hard work-----a positive or negative development?

4 - Yes, as you refine the essay to cover the prompt perfectly, it will be good to add one more...

Writing Feedbackkirin - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2009
Political Allegory

3 - As you rework this essay, think about how you can move, as you progress from the introduction to the...

Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Apr 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 8, 2009
Hypocrisy in the Chrysalids

5 - Your are most welcome!...

Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 6, 2009 / Rosamond - Apr 8, 2009
It's with God's miracle that human miracles are innovate; Human Mind vs. the Computer

8 - I'm not getting angry. You asked me what grade I would give you, and why. I answered your...

Writing FeedbackRosamond - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
The higher goal the bigger efforts for it. (SAT Essay)

5 - About that thesis, I think you should move this sentence to the end o the first paragraph: People should...

Writing FeedbackGiovane - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
Essay on England's Right to Tax

7 - Hey, you are not being a bother. I did not see this in time to talk about it before...

Writing FeedbackReborn777 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
Limiting the Use of Dispable Plastic Bags

5 - Chidem and HD, thanks for those great insights. It helps in more ways than you know; it helps me...

Writing Feedbacklenzo537 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
qualities required for a happy marriage

3 - "Marriage is defined as a legal union of man and woman as a husband and wife to spend the...

Writing Feedbackkaynling - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
Some of my thoughts - an essay

8 - "some thoughts - an essay" This seems to be the crux of your problems. An essay is not usually...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Aug 12, 2008 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
The Big Three, Japanese Archetypes

3 - Well, about the space limitation, remember: you could, if you had to, write this whole essay in a single...

Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Apr 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 5, 2009
Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan

8 - Well, if you have to remain neutral, perhaps you could focus on the fact that it is controversial, turn...

Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
My sculpture paper, Emile Antoine Bourdelle

6 - I agree with Kevin -- you have met the requirements and given a decent description of the artwork, but...

Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Apr 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
Introduction essay for Death of a Salesman prompt- Critiques?

3 - You're on the right track. Willy is only truly happy when he is working with his hands. If he...

Writing Feedbackkeentimothy - Apr 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
"Important truths begin as.." (CLEP English Comp w/essay)

4 - Oh, that is an interesting point you made, about the difficulty of writing when you don't know much about...

Writing Feedbacknazgolg2000 - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2009
The mighty (movie) essay. Max's past.

5 - wow thanks u guys. im not THAT good. :P tnx again. :)...

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Apr 2, 2009 / newsha31 - Apr 4, 2009
Pledge of Allegiance, under God, separation of church/state, essay feedback

4 - Amazing, concerning Thoreau. I'll have to read "Civil Disobedience"!...

Writing Feedbackkauilani1 - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
Pan's Labyrinth vs. The Fountain essay

4 - I agree with the Eliot quote. Tennessee Williams said it best: "I give you truth in the pleasant disguise...

Writing Feedbackmwingboy - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
A good X ( Teacher, Roomate, Classmate, Friend, etc.)

3 - You really need to pick one X. (Teacher, Roommate, Classmate, Friend, etc.). Anything general enough to fit all of...

Writing FeedbackCS800 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
The Ultimate Controversy: Argument Essay

19 - "Ultimately, Brandon McInerney and all juveniles who carry out premeditated and hate crimes must be tried as adults" I...

Writing Feedbackpanmit - Feb 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
Description Movie-Secret essay

2 - Jay lives with his father -- who is a Tamkang music teacher that wears glasses and a beard, and...

Writing Feedbacklilylee34 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2009
Power Privilege essay

8 - You still need to work on defining power. You might start by going over to dictionary.com, which lists 20...

Writing Feedbackwilliams73 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
Some Causes of Stress -- work, family, finance.

3 - In our modern, technological century, stress becomes a common experience for all of us. There are many reasons. for...

Writing Feedbackchubbybear - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
TOEFL Essay - Cars cause a lot of air pollution...

5 - In my view, this payment it is obviously their responsibility to pay for cleaning the environment and to support...

Writing Feedbackinextricable - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
Advertisment analysis

5 - I agree that the first paragraph should be cut. Instead of saying obvious things, say your most important truth...

Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
"PGD method" - feetback on introduction of short academic essay

12 - "a morally problematic way of thinking that the Holocaust should have taught us to avoid." Avoid comparing things to...

Writing FeedbackTAMTAM - Mar 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth?

10 - Your second essay now stays on topic, and is much better. For the first essay, your proposed revision still...

Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
If you cannot excel in a field, simply leave it for someone who can. Decisions

9 - It is absolutely wonderful, enjoyed readind it....

Writing FeedbackRosamond - Mar 26, 2009 / tasneemspring - Mar 30, 2009
My narrative story on how bank of america charge off department closed down

3 - Some excellent advice from Mustafa. I would go even further, though, and say that you should add dialogue even...

Writing Feedbacksexyness1421 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
Management of Planning - Arthur Anderson (Enron case)

4 - If you have already done the research, you are halfway there already. Try to find connections between the pieces...

Writing Feedbackchampion510 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 29, 2009
IELTS Writing Task--Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood

18 - It's a classic breakdown in an argument, out of viciousness and disrepute -- failing to stay on point as...

Writing Feedbackkirin - Mar 25, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 29, 2009
If you can interview any living person, who would it be and why?

6 - Rich Monte) I appreciated your points ! I realized how important to distinguish the truth through television or...

Writing Feedbacksukjay - Mar 26, 2009 / sukjay - Mar 28, 2009
Essay on The Cons of Social Text Messaging

4 - Thank you. That helps much Joseph Walsh...

Writing FeedbackNathan - Mar 27, 2009 / Nathan - Mar 28, 2009
Essay on the Reformation in Europe - Feedback

2 - ...Along with it, the Protestant Reformation brought religious pluralism in Europe, attacking religious dogma which at that time dominated...

Writing FeedbackAMk - Mar 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2009
Do images and impressions have too much of an effect on people?

5 - EV Kevin~thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate your help. I will work harder to improve my writing!!^_^...

Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 26, 2009 / tiantian12 - Mar 27, 2009
"Never too Buff"; two examples of thesis statments

18 - Now, reading with my defense down, I can take advantage of his point of view. Thanks again, Sean Oh...

Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Mar 21, 2009 / lilmisha - Mar 27, 2009
My pet essay

7 - That's a first, Mustafa! :)...

Writing FeedbackU to the Woods - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2009
One of Edison's invention - Does this article sound good in English?

4 - I though of this: When Edison was fourteen, he worked at a railway station only at night...

Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 24, 2009 / Rosamond - Mar 26, 2009
Proudest achievement of my life-linear generator buoy

3 - pretty impressive essay... specially ur ideas.. overall i don thin dis essay requires much of changes.. i agree wid...

Writing Feedbackabhishek - Mar 25, 2009 / savvy - Mar 26, 2009
Soldiers experiences in Iraq, World War II, Vietnam.

4 - This is a compare/contrast on the soldiers' experiences, not on the wars themselves, the way I see it. ...

Writing Feedbacksadly204 - Mar 23, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 25, 2009
Intro for my essay about army lowing its standards. Sound good so far?

3 - Another way to fix the error near that semi-colon is to just keep it the same and use a...

Writing Feedbacksgc88 - Mar 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2009
Catcher in the Rye: reality vs. fantasy

20 - That's great news. Hope we can help out with your next essay, too....

Writing Feedbacksc15pcz - Mar 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 24, 2009
Karl Marx vs. The Economic Hitman

7 - Yes, but the fact that people believe it does work means that they accept levels of income inequality that...

Writing FeedbackGautama - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 23, 2009
review my quote essay ("The desire to know..")

7 - In all scope of All human achievement begins with a desire to know, and this desire is what drives...

Writing FeedbackGrammarFool - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 23, 2009
Gay, lesbian, bisexual teens in America

2 - Here are some revisions and suggestions to get you started: "Gay, lesbian, bisexual people are treated like different...

Writing Feedbackchipmunk - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 22, 2009
Pygmalion Paragraph for brochure

3 - Hey, that is good stuff from Sean! Yes, the parts where you tell some of what happens in the...

Writing Feedbackmenamilad - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2009

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