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Writing admission and application essays for graduate school (page 4)

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MS in Human Computer Interaction | Statement of Purpose

2 - It is difficult to say that you can use this essay across all the universities with little to no...

GraduateAnmolMishra20 - Jan 3, 2022 / Holt - Jan 4, 2022
Personal Statement for GKS-G 2022 Scholarship for Masters in Spanish Language and Literature

2 - Name the title, publication date, and volume number so that the reviewer can exercise the option to verify...

GraduateRutujaM - Dec 29, 2021 / Holt - Dec 30, 2021
Masters of Health Informatics U of Waterloo.

2 - Definitely a dramatic opening that sets up an exciting personal statement, only to be disappointed by the succeeding...

GraduateRas_Patrick - Dec 29, 2021 / Holt - Dec 29, 2021
Letter Of Motivation - Master in Technical Management

3 - @Holt Minimum word count is not specified but institute is asking for at least two pages LOM...

Graduatelalitkumar - Dec 28, 2021 / lalitkumar - Dec 28, 2021
Need review for my sop for MS in data science; The capacity to discriminate between what you know...

2 - This is a highly arrogant, condescending and irritating personal statement. If this is how you choose to present yourself...

GraduateSivasankar - Dec 25, 2021 / Holt - Dec 25, 2021
Erasmus Mundus Masters in Central and East European, Russian and Eurasian Studies Personal Statement

3 - Last paragraph where you said that you want to study in Europe because of their political and economic action...

GraduateMeerimia1 - Dec 18, 2021 / monicaaa0017 - Dec 21, 2021
Personal Statement - Digital Business Management

2 - Depending on the actual maximum word count as provided by university for this essay, the average personal statement should...

Graduateessaadia - Dec 20, 2021 / Holt - Dec 21, 2021
Professional and cultural experiences shaped your career goals/ how this major will help to that

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for the review. i really appreciate it. Considering this is my first draft and...

Graduatesravyareddyk - Dec 14, 2021 / sravyareddyk - Dec 14, 2021
"Review on SOP for MS-CS/MCS with work experiences in 2 different companies"

2 - This paragraph is only acceptable in a college application personal statement. It is not relevant to an MSc...

Graduatevaradsanpurkar - Dec 13, 2021 / Holt - Dec 13, 2021
Warwick essay draft a brief (4,500 characters maximum) personal statement

2 - The mention of your parents as your first motivating factor requires more explanation and motivation development. What jobs do...

Graduatekentseng - Dec 11, 2021 / Holt - Dec 12, 2021
Personal Statement for MSc Finance & Accounting in Westminster

3 - I would suggest adding more achievements and making it a little more formal....

Graduateleesol - Nov 24, 2021 / Mehul07 - Dec 10, 2021
MSc Data Science UK - Personal Statement; What makes me an excellent candidate for this program?

3 - I agree with @holt that the entire middle part of the first paragraph needs to be removed....

Graduateshellhead - Dec 4, 2021 / Mehul07 - Dec 10, 2021
MSc Business Analytics - Why are you an ideal candidate and how will the program help achieve goals?

2 - You appear to be a highly skilled candidate for your course of choice. However, these skills are over discussed...

GraduateMehul07 - Dec 8, 2021 / Holt - Dec 8, 2021
Pharmacy (Medicinal Chemistry) - Personal Statement

2 - When you write a personal statement, do not focus on your academic background and community leadership. The personal statement,...

Graduatewhh123 - Dec 5, 2021 / Holt - Dec 6, 2021
LoM - Argument of an engineering student applying for masters in global development policy - EMJMD

2 - Sadly, you have not developed a compelling argument because your presentation takes on a personal statement direction rather than...

GraduateSSS2022 - Dec 4, 2021 / Holt - Dec 5, 2021
[NEED REVIEW] "I find Data Science fascinating" - Statement of Purpose for Master of Data Science

2 - What a lovely personal statement. Too bad it failed to contain any actual reference to the purpose for your...

GraduateKavan14 - Dec 3, 2021 / Holt - Dec 4, 2021
[Need Review] Statement of Purpose - MS in Artificial Intelligence and Data Science (Summer 2022)

2 - Your statement of purpose feels over extended and needs to be whittled down to only 750-1000 words. It tends...

GraduateVJain - Dec 2, 2021 / Holt - Dec 2, 2021
Motivation Statement for MS Game and Media Technology in Utrecht University

2 - Like is not enough of a reason to want to study this MS course. Unless you can create...

Graduateboringjill - Nov 26, 2021 / Holt - Nov 27, 2021
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE for Vehicle Engineering

3 - Thanks for the review. I would take all your advices into consideration and arrange a better SOP. Regards....

Graduatelenjoy - Nov 4, 2021 / lenjoy - Nov 19, 2021
Statement of Purpose - Parsons School of Design - MPS Communication Design - reasons for applying

2 - The main problem with this essay is the way it focuses a majority of the discussion on your background....

GraduateKotekSroka - Nov 15, 2021 / Holt - Nov 16, 2021
Technology trend that may impact your target career. - MS Business Analytics Essay for CUNY.

2 - Based on the emerging trend, how do you see it affecting your current carell as an obstacle towards your...

GraduateKhushi123 - Nov 13, 2021 / Holt - Nov 14, 2021
MOTIVATION STATEMENT FOR MASTER OF ART IN POPULATION STUDIES

2 - You have written this essay without any consideration for the readily available discussion guidelines for the motivational letter. There...

Graduatefkoomson - Nov 12, 2021 / Holt - Nov 13, 2021
Personal Statement for MSc of Statistics and Data Science at University of KU Leuven

2 - The motivation of the writer got lost in translation. The presentation, with heavy editing, will work as a personal...

Graduatexmcmay - Nov 10, 2021 / Holt - Nov 11, 2021
Apply MSc finance programme in Trinity College Dublin

NEW - Plz give me advices about my personal statements. ( limitation of 500 words, How can I rewrite some parts...

GraduateHogf - Nov 8, 2021 / — -
Statement of Purpose for masters program in Computer Science in the USA - Review request

2 - The second paragraph should have a clearer purpose for your studies. The series of questions does not signify any...

Graduaterandom888 - Nov 7, 2021 / Holt - Nov 8, 2021
Personal Statement for MSc in Data Science at University of Michigan

NEW - Hi everyone! For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF Personal...

Graduateomkarkharkar1634 - Nov 7, 2021 / — -
Review My SOP for PhD in Nuclear thermal hydraulics

2 - How and why? How does this relate to your interest in CFD ? Every exposure needs to relate...

GraduateNikesh - Oct 28, 2021 / Holt - Oct 29, 2021
My passion for improving health and well-being. SOP FOR GLOBAL PUBLIC HEALTH

2 - This comes across.more as a cover or motivational letter. It does not contain the correct focus on the purpose...

GraduateDrfon - Oct 12, 2021 / Holt - Oct 13, 2021
Personal Statement - MFA In Film Production (NYU, UCLA, Columbia)

NEW - Please refer to our private review services at essayforum.com@gmail.com since you specific review specifications. Free review only covers general...

Graduaterhythm23 - Oct 9, 2021 / — -
'The need to bridge the gaps in my skills' - Statement of Purpose review for MS in computer science

NEW - There is no specific prompt I am trying to answer. So this is a general statement of purpose. ...

Graduatenaeempatel010 - Oct 7, 2021 / — -
Personal Statement for Postgraduate Study. University in United Kingdom (Development Studies)

2 - The personal statement should never be the biography of the student in any fform. Where a motivational statement is...

Graduateaktivasi - Sep 24, 2021 / Holt - Sep 26, 2021
Statement of purpose - OSLOMET Norway- MS-Applied Computer and Information Technology

2 - Expand on this portion. Specifically, discuss academic accomplishments, related research work, and any other academic participation that will...

Graduateshroud - Sep 19, 2021 / Holt - Sep 21, 2021
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE MS MECHATRONICS AND CONTROL SYSTEM.

NEW - master program application I am applying for master in mechatronics, I have written an introduction paragraph in which...

Graduateharoonrasheed - Sep 20, 2021 / — -
Ticket to my higher studies

3 - yes please. I have sent you my sop via email...

Graduatesidharth jeyabal - Sep 17, 2021 / sidharth jeyabal - Sep 18, 2021
Statement of Purpose - UC Berkeley - Data Science

2 - This essay is an excellent creative writing piece, but is not useful when presented to a reviewer who has...

Graduatekittybetty - Sep 4, 2021 / Holt - Sep 8, 2021
Psychologists online - FUTURE PLAN - KGSP GRADUATE PROGRAM

4 - @miss123 The plan conveys a clear direction of your career, but there is more you can elaborate. In addition...

Graduatemiss123 - Aug 27, 2021 / Kyaw Ye Thu - Aug 31, 2021
Statement of research interest - Applied to Master's Computer Science

2 - The essay needs to be refocused to provide clear responses to the prompts alone. Do not overdiscuss things by...

GraduatePraew_chprd - Aug 22, 2021 / Holt - Aug 23, 2021
Statement of Purpose - what area of CS interests you particularly? Masters in Computer Science

2 - Half of this paper is a personal statement. The first half should be removed from this presentation as it...

Graduatesneha2312 - Aug 20, 2021 / Holt - Aug 21, 2021
Electrical engineering - SOP for graduate school computer science

2 - The problem is that you wrote a personal statement, showing the growth of your interest in Computer science rather...

Graduatenephele - Jul 25, 2021 / Holt - Jul 26, 2021
Critique my statement of purpose for masters in quantum engineering

2 - Without knowing if there are specific writing requirements for this SOP, I would have to say that this type...

GraduateVatsy31 - Jul 10, 2021 / Holt - Jul 11, 2021
Study plan for a new career path and study optician program in Canada

2 - The essay shows that the applicant hasa keen interest in studying in canada but does not show a strong...

Graduatesiuned1988 - Jul 9, 2021 / Holt - Jul 10, 2021
Statement of purpose for Data science course - graduate application

2 - The overall essay is not meant as a statement of purpose. This writing, showing the development of the student's...

Graduateashik_123 - Jun 28, 2021 / Holt - Jun 29, 2021
Study plan for MEng Civil Engineering, University of Windsor, Canada

2 - The reason for seeking a residency permit sound more like you are eventually planning to apply for citizenship in...

Graduatemana_ne - Jun 23, 2021 / Holt - Jun 25, 2021
Personal statement - reason to take the specialization: boost my career vs problem to solve

2 - Neither. For the personal statement, you should show the progression of your interest leading into data science. The...

Graduateevita126 - May 30, 2021 / Holt - May 31, 2021
Erasmus Mundus Masters in Social Work for Children and Family

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your constructive criticism :)...

GraduateSRazaque - May 27, 2021 / SRazaque - May 28, 2021
Education is the key to opportunity - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution*?

2 - This is a good draft. You show clear personal and professional reasons for your course choice and institution. The...

Graduateeternal1703 - May 16, 2021 / Holt - May 17, 2021
SOP for Master in Data Science; I aspire to teach and research at a university/research center

4 - Thanks for your comment. I will effect the changes as suggested....

Graduateeosopoku - May 10, 2021 / eosopoku - May 16, 2021
MY MOTIVATION LETTER FOR Msc SUSTAINABLE MANAGEMENT

2 - You can easily use this essay as a personal statement as it carries an in-depth look at the development...

Graduatedemorich - May 15, 2021 / Holt - May 16, 2021
Career Change or Background Change

2 - The masters course is always determined by your work experience in relation to your work experience. While some universities...

Graduatesrijal - May 6, 2021 / Holt - May 7, 2021
In no more than 250 words, describe a real-life example of how strategic communication was used.

3 - Noted with thanks @holt will try to revise the essay...

GraduateRatudestiani - May 4, 2021 / Ratudestiani - May 4, 2021
Data Science - [AAS Essay - class of 2021] Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - Develop the reasons why you chose the courses at these universities. Aside from the textbook information that you found...

Graduatembimbagaskara - May 4, 2021 / Holt - May 4, 2021
Strategic Communication - Statement of Academic Purpose

2 - You do not present a clear purpose for your studies in relation to your existing skills.You are stopping short...

GraduateRatudestiani - May 4, 2021 / Holt - May 4, 2021
Earthquake engineering - study plan for visa application

2 - Your essay is good but falls a bit short of the actual information consideration for a Canadian student visa...

GraduateS_ammady - May 2, 2021 / Holt - May 2, 2021
How to prepare a good profile for acceptance at ETH Zurich?

2 - Are you applying for a masters program admission? That is the program that begins its application in November. I...

Graduatesimm - Apr 25, 2021 / Holt - Apr 26, 2021
Internship about famous places in the largest city of Vietnam

2 - Due to your redacted information, the sentences you wrote no longer make any sense. The paragraphs you present do...

Graduatekaonashi - Apr 15, 2021 / Holt - Apr 16, 2021
MOTIVATION LETTER ABOUT FLUID MECHANICS

2 - This is a personal statement. It contains information that shows the development of your interest in Fluid Mechanics. It...

Graduatelaylaa - Apr 11, 2021 / Holt - Apr 12, 2021
"Accessibility" - Personal statement for MSc in HPPF in LSE

2 - Your discussion is heavily focused on the reasons why you want to study MSc in Public Health. You failed...

GraduateMinc - Apr 6, 2021 / Holt - Apr 7, 2021
Industrial Revolution 4.0. Statement Of Purpose for MSc in Human Resources

3 - @Holt Thanks for your inputs. Will definitely rework this....

Graduatemekh - Apr 4, 2021 / mekh - Apr 4, 2021
SOP MCs Computer Science - EPFL - academic background and career strategy

3 - Thank you! I hadn't imaged that I had to be so precise about my future career. I'll try to...

Graduategiupiter_kh - Mar 30, 2021 / giupiter_kh - Mar 31, 2021
Study plan for master's of enterprise management for university in China

2 - This is not a study plan. This is a personal statement. There is nothing in this presentation that represents...

Graduateasya - Mar 28, 2021 / Holt - Mar 29, 2021

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