Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 : The three companies' waste [9]

The graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years.

the quantity of produced waste by some companies

The illustration provides information on the figure for waste in tonnes made by three companies named A,B and C from 2000 to 2015.
It is clear from the graph that company A and B produced less waste between 2000 and 2015, whereas the amount of waste produced by company C grew gradually throughout the years.

In the first year 2000, the quantity of waste that company A made began at precisely 12 tonnes, the highest level compared to company B and C, with the figure for waste being a bit lower than 9 tonnes and slightly over 3 tonnes respectively. This amount of company A declined gradually over 15 years, reaching about 11 tonnes in 2010 and slightly under 9 tonnes in the last year 2015. With the same downward trend, Company B's amount of waste dove over 15 years and reached exactly 3 tonnes in 2015 apart from a brief rise of nearly 2 tonnes from 2000 to 2005.

In sharp contrast with the other two companies, the quantity of the produced waste from company C saw an upward trend throughout 15 years. There was a slow rise in this figure of 3 tonnes in 2005 and approximately 2 tonnes in 2010, until it reached a peak of 10 tonnes in 2015.

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Writing Feedback / Writing task 1: The percentage of 10-15 year-olds chatting online and playing games. [6]

IELTS Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK.

youth staying online and playing games

The bar chart compares how much time it takes 10-15 year-olds, by gender, to chat on the Internet and play on games consoles on an average school day in the United Kingdom.

Overall slightly more boys and girls in the 10-15 age group prefer playing on games console to chatting online. It is also evident that an overwhelming majority of boys enjoy playing on game consoles, while chatting online is considerably more popular among girls than boys.

Regarding chatting on the Internet, the number of 10-15 year-old boys spending time doing this activity for less than an hour a day is the same as that of their female counterparts, accounting for nearly 30 percent, although much more girls than boys chatting for over one hour.

On the contrary, nearly a massive 90% of 10-15 year-old male students spend time playing on games console on an average school day, whereas the figure for females is just over a half. Most girls, about one third, play on games console for under 1 hour per day, while the majority of boys, roughly 45 %, enjoy doing this leisure activity for 1 to 3 hours. It is noticable that the proportion for males in the 10-15 age range playing on games console for more than 4 hours per day is roughly 10 percent, the same percentage for females talking to their friends online for the same amount of time.

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Writing Feedback / Growing number of young people isn't necessarily only an advantage [3]

Please give me a band score if you can. Thank you for helping me.

WORKING AGE POPULATION

At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some countries have working age populations which include a large proportion of residents in their early adulthood. While this type of population has various drawbacks, I believe that its advantages can outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, a population which is full of young adults may cause a series of problems affecting the country's society and economy. Firstly, the growing number of young people might lead to unemployment, as the more candidates there are, the more competitive the job market becomes. Unemployed citizens living in poverty will commit crimes like robbery or behave antisocially. Secondly, owing to the large number of residents, governments cannot provide enough education facilities, healthcare services as well as food supplies, thus people have lower standard of living and quality of life. Finally, the lack of accommodation and other facilities will eventually result in deforestation and environmental destruction.

On the other hand, the advantages a young population brings to a nation are enormous. The prime benefit is that nations full of economically active people will have a large well-educated workforce for high-tech areas, which has a vital role in the fast-paced modern world. Along with a skilled labor force, the population provides its country with a growing market for many manufactured products. Also, people of working age provides a large tax base and are able to take care of both young and elderly dependents as well as afford advanced education for their offspring.

In conclusion, in this fast-moving global economy, having more young adults than elderly inhabitants certainly brings about more pros than cons.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITNG TASK 1: Attendances at hospital emergency care departments [2]

patients in emergency care hospital

The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017.

The bar chart depicts the number of patients, divided into 6 age groups, attending hospital emergency care departments in Nothern Ireland in December 2016 and December 2017.
Overall, there were far more patients who need emergency care in the 75-and-over and under-5-year-old age groups compared to the other. It is also worth noticing that over a year, the quantity of attendances increased by an insignificant number.

Regarding the patients who aged 75 or above, in December 2016, the number of their attendances at emergency care departments was roughly 65 per 1000-population. This grew to 70 people in the same month next year. The hospital visits from under-5-year-old children increased from about 50 in December 2016 to around 54 per 1000-population in December 2017. Both age groups had double cases compared to the remaining groups.

With respect to people between the ages of 5 to 74 years old, it is clear that 5-to-15-year-old age range had the fewest cases at hospital emergency care departments. There were around 20 visits from this age group in December 2016, while in three other age groups, the quantities of sick people attendances were nearly the same, approximately 30 per 1000-population. These numbers experienced a minimal upturn of only 1 throughout the period.

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  Attendances at emergency care departments per 1000-population
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITNG TASK 2: The impact of ageing populations on both individuals and society [3]

Challenges of an ageing population

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Owing to the rapid advancement of technology in the the modern world, the average length of life for people is growing at a fast pace. Although the increase in elderly people causes a negative long-term impact on both individuals and society, some steps can be taken to tackle these problems.

Ageing populations around the world have led to disastrous consequences. Rising life expectancy might not be beneficial for old people, as longevity is usually accompanied by deteriorating health and illnesses. Old age is not desirable for not only the elderly but also working adults who have to work more to provide food and medical treatments for the elderly dependents. Moreover, ageing populations result in a fall in productivity in industry and economic downturn, because of the lack of young workforce which is full of economically active people. It will also pose some problems to the government such as the inability to provide enough health care and welfare to meet the needs of pensioners.

There are various suggested methods to deal with these issues. The first method would be raising the retirement age, so that healthy elderly people can enter the workforce. Secondly, raising income tax to pay for pensions and health care might be an effective solution, despite some oppositions form working-age adults. Finally, to have more productive young workers, the government should attract economically active migrants from developing countries and encourage families to have more children.

In conclusion, society and individuals should cooperate to mitigate the problems from constantly growing numbers of elderly people worldwide.

Writing Feedback / The quantity of waste generation in millions of tonnes in six nations during the 1980-2000 period [2]

The amount of waste production in 6 countries

The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries over a twenty-year period.

The table compares the quantity of waste generation in millions of tonnes in six nations during the period of twenty years from 1980 to 2000.

Overall, the United States produced the largest amount of waste over the period. Also, while waste output in most given countries witnessed an upward trend, Korean's amount of waste production decreased.

With respect to the waste output in America, it grew from 131 in 1800 to 192 million tonnes in 2000, which was a relatively huge amount compared to other nations. In the same year, Japan, the second largest waste producer, generated 53 million tonnes of waste, accounted for one-third that of the US. Meanwhile, Korea's waste output experienced a drop of 12 from 31 in 1990 to 19 million tonnes in 2000.

Compared with the previously mentioned nations, Ireland, Poland and Portugal generated small amounts of unwanted material. Ireland and Portugal has the same quantity of waste production in 2000, at 5 million tonnes, while Poland saw a minimal growth of 2.6 million tonnes in its waste output throughout the time span.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITNG TASK 1: The process of producing coffee and preparing for sale [2]

11 steps of coffee manufacturing

The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.

The picture illustrates the process of coffee production and preparation for selling in supermarkets and shops.

Overall, producing coffee involves 11 steps before it can be put on the market. The process starts with collecting the coffee beans and culminates with filling up jars with coffee.

To begin with, the coffee beans are harvested on the farm and dried in the sun to remove water. After that, the beans are roasted and cooled quickly. Then, they are converted into powder by being ground a grinding machine and mix with hot water to become a mixture, which is strained in the next step.

At the next stage, the strained mixture becomes frozen liquid at a low temperature. Subsequently, it passes through a grinder the second time, which is followed by being dried in a vacuum so that the water turns into moisture. Finally, the coffee powder is packed into jars and it is ready to be delivered to shops.

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Writing Feedback / Plenty of authorities in the world consider economic progress is their first priority. IELTS2 [5]

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Economic progress as the most important goal

Nowadays, plenty of authorities in the world consider economic progress is their first priority, while some people believe that different kinds of progress also play an important role in nations' development. In my opinion, developing the economy is necessary, but other progress are equally significant.

It is undeniable that economic development brings many benefits to a country. Firstly, it brings more job opportunities and deal with one of the most serious problems in many nations: unemployment. Higher salaries in a good economy also results in higher living standards and better quality of life. Secondly, the governments are able to invest more in transport system, healthcare and education, Money from rising taxes can be used to purchase more high-tech equipment and beds for hospitals or provide more valuable scholarships for students. Finally, a developed country with a strong economy may hold a high position in the world and have more influence over developing countries.

However, various kinds of progress need to be considered as well. The governments need to achieve political stability to prevent terrorism as well as create a safe and secure environment for inhabitants and foreign companies. Also, in modern times, human rights and equality are absolutely necessary to make residents feel protected, satisfied and motivated to work. Another long-term goal is to protect the environment, which is often destroyed in the economic progress. For example, there should be a limit for releasing exhausted fume from large factories, which contributes to global warming and ozone depletion.

In conclusion, the authorities need to focus on not only economic development but also political stability, human rights and environmental protection.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: A plan for changes to a school site over 20 years. [2]

changes in a school on maps

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The two maps illustrate the location of a school in 2004 and the plan for its developments 20 years later.

Overall, it is anticipated that the number of students enrolling in the school will increase from 600 in 2004 to 1000 students in 2024. Therefore, many changes will take place to enlarge the school, including the construction of many facilities.

One change that stand out is that over the period, a new school building will be erected where the sports field is once situated to contain more students. Also, the other two will be joined together by a hall, which connects to a path leading to the third building.

Another noticeable development is that in addition to the car park by the main entrance, the school authorities will have a second one constructed next to the newly built building after clearing some trees. Moreover, there will be a road which runs directly from the main entrance to this car park. The sports field will be relocated to a site near this road and across from the second car park.

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Writing Feedback / The number of house husbands has been increasing while some mothers are becoming the breadwinners [2]

house husbands and breadwinners

In recent years, the number of house husbands has been increasing dramatically while some mothers are becoming the breadwinners. There are some main reasons for this phenomenon, which I consider as a positive development for family roles.

Compared to the past, because of many social changes, more men and women swap traditional family roles. Gender equality gives females more opportunities to get access to advanced education and explore their full potential, which make them strong contenders in the job market. Mothers with high-profile jobs, which have better salaries than their husbands', decide to continue to climb the ladder of success while their husbands take on the role of a homemaker. Moreover, fathers who are home-base workers like painters, translators and designers can choose to stay home to work and look after their children at the same time.

Overall, this shift in cultural gender roles benefits husbands and wives' relationship and their children's development. When men and women swap roles, the male homemakers will come to understand the difficulties of managing a household, while the female breadwinners learn to deal with stress from and social problems. This will lead to better understanding between two partners, thus deepen their love and strengthen their relationship. Furthermore, while stay-at-home fathers have more time to interact with their children to understand their needs and foster self-assurance and self-discipline in them, mothers as breadwinners usually do not neglect their children and can communicate with them on a daily basic, which is crucial to child development.

In conclusion, owing to the enormous changes of modern society, househusbands become more common and this should be seen as progress.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: PRESERVING WILD ANIMALS IS VERY IMPORTANT [2]

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

MONEY FOR WILDLIFE PROTECTION

Despite more animals are under major threat due to human, some people think that it is a waste of time, effort and money to protect wild animals because they are of no use to human. I completely disagree with this opinion.

It appears to me that wild animals have contributed substantially to the ecosystem and human's life. Wild animals are a crucial part of a healthy ecosystem, because each animal has a unique place in the natural food chain. If an animal dies out, it will disturb the whole food chain and lead to disastrous consequences. For instance, as a result of large carnivores being poached, herbivores, which have no predators, will soar in number and move to agricultural lands to meet their growing food demand. In addition, for aesthetic values, wild animals beautify the Earth and their natural attractiveness has captured numerous people's heart, as shown in human's interest in wildlife safaris worldwide.

Because of their importance, in my opinion, it is not wasteful to spend national budget on protecting wild animals. One way of saving wild animals is preserving their natural habitats, which are also essential to human's survival. For example, forests, which are home to plenty of wild animals, help human prevent soil erosion and flooding as well as regulate the Earth's climate. Another method is building more wildlife sanctuaries, which provide not only a safe, secure environment for endangered species but also an attraction for nature lovers and a source of income for localities.

In conclusion, wildlife plays a great role in human's life, therefore it should be preserved.

Writing Feedback / In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: HARD WORK

It is undeniable that at school and work, there are people who are more hard-working and industrious than others. The reasons for their great work ethic may vary, and hard work has a downside, but generally, I believe that diligence is vital to one's success.

It seems that hard-working is believed to be a virtue that contributes greatly to a person's well-being. Hard work usually guarantees positive outcomes. It appears that one's hard work will be paid off in the end. If a person is determined to learn to cook, they will soon be rewarded with delicious hand-made dishes. The same mindset applies to employment: employees earn high salaries by working hard with maximum efficiency to generate the best possible results. Additionally, people who put great efforts in their work can take pride in themselves for always trying their best and making the most out of their lives.

Despite having numerous benefits, industriousness has its limits. It is believed that merely working hard isn't enough for success since working smart is equally important. Aside from endurance and commitment, some work also requires the ability to make smart choices and find the best solution for a problem with the minimum time needed. Instead of planning carefully to use their working time efficiently, some employees overwork, which leads to disastrous consequences for their health, both mentally and physically. Overworking people work themselves to death just to damage their productivity and experience serious health problems like insomnia and depression.

In conclusion, although overworking may shorten a person's lifespan, in my opinion, a positive work ethic, in general, is the cornerstone of achievement.