Writing Feedback / The Percentage of student passed the exam [2]

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of high school students who passed the final exam in several subjects based on the gender in a 12-month period between 2010 and 2011. At first glance, it is inevitable that there were several differences in the subjects that both of gender passed the final exam in high school. while females showed the dominance at most of subjects, geography was dominated dramatically by males.

Based on the data, there was a significant difference between men and women who passed the high school final exam in several lessons. Computer science saw a significant range between men and women who passed this lesson, women 56.3 percent and 42.3 percent for men which was followed by the chemistry that presented women twice as much passed the final test than men, approximately less than a third for women and less than a fifth for men. However, there was a dramatic difference both of sexes in geography which were dominated by men, 30.4% and women 20.1% during that period.

On the other hand, there were slightly differences among several subjects. Both of Mathematics and foreign languages showed very small number differences. Likewise, physics and history explained the similar pattern even though those were dominated by females, no more than 3 percent over a year.

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Writing Feedback / Expenditure, Inhabitant and Consumption of Resources in the world [2]

The pie charts below show World Spending, World population and Consumption of Resources.

A breakdown of Expenditure, Inhabitant, and Consumption of Resources in the world which are measured in the percentage, are illustrated by the pie charts. At first glance, that is obvious that there are different percentage of expenditures by people in the world. Consumption of resources is dominated by USA and some countries in Europe. A significant difference is shown in the number of population among some continents.

Moving to population in the world, the significant percentage of population in the world is extremely dominated by Asia, at nearly three-fifths. In spite of that, Africa shows the reverse at one in ten. On the other hand, Europe and Americas present the similar pattern of population, at 14 percent followed by others that stand at a very small number.

Turning to the expenditures in the world, the expenditure for food holds the highest percentage in the world spending at practically quarter which is followed by transport as the second that shows 18 percent and housing spending is twice as less than food expenditure. By contrast, clothing spending stands at the least proportion that explains solely 6% and 40 percent for other spending. Interestingly, the highest proportion of resources consumption are dominated by USA and Europe that show at 60 percent than others which are solely two-fifths.

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Writing Feedback / Consumption of energy in the USA in the Past and Future [2]

The graph below gives information from Annual Energy Outlook 2008 about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projection until 2030.

A breakdown of Power Consumption by Fuel in United States over a half-century period since 1980 with prediction till 2030 reported by Annual Energy Outlook 2008 and is measured by quadrillion units, is illustrated by line chat. At first glance, there is a significant difference in the number of fuel usage for energy consumption in U.S. while Petrol and Oil usage is predicted to continue rising, Hidropower shows the reverse.

Moving to the detailed analysis, the number of power consumption was dominated by Petrol and Oil which stood at 35 quadrillions. Although 1980 to 2000 showed a fluctuation decrease, there was a regular rise after that year and is projected to increase continually till 2030 at more than 47 quadrillions. However, starting at the same position in the lowest number, Nuclear, Solar/Wind and Hidrowater showed the fluctuation pattern. While the Nuclear and Sloar/Wind increased slightly and is predicted remaining constant, the Hidrowater usage is projected to drop slowly.

Turning to the next information, the number of Natural Gas and Coal usage witnessed a erractic pattern. Although Natural Gas was more dominance at the first period than Coal, at approximately 20 quadrillions and 16 quadrillions, over a 10-year period from 2020 to 2030, Coal is projected rising significantly through Natural Gas which is predicted remaining constant in the last period.

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Writing Feedback / Different household spending during 60 years [4]

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.

A comparison of the percentage household spending in a country between two different years,1950 and 2010, is illustrated in pie charts. At first glance, it is inevitable that there were significant change in the percentage of household spending at several different sectors. While the percentage of housing expenditure decreased significantly, food spending showed the opposite.

Moving to detailed analysis, the percentage of housing expenditure showed a dramatic decrease over a 60-year period, stood at 72.1% in 1950 and fell extremely around a half at 22 percent in 2010 which was followed by education which decreased slightly at 6.6% to be at 6.3 percent. By contrast, the percentage of food spending increased significantly from 11.2 percent to more than a third in the same period.

Turning to the next data, the percentage of transportation expenditure showed a rise around one in ten percent, 3.3% in 1950 to 14 percent in 2010. Then, it was followed by health care which increased at a small amount. 19.2% of increase is presented by other sectors over that period.

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Writing Feedback / Both parents and schools hold the roles for children healthy lifestyle [2]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that both parents and school hold the crucial role that have high influence to young child health activities. While other aspects have important impact, I personally argue that both parents and school are the best role model for the children.

It is true that both parents and school have more responsibilities to kids' activities because most of their time is spent at home and school. Parents as the role model hold the crucial aspect for the habit. For instance, activities such as stay up, a lots media usage, activity out of home, and nutrition have to be controlled by parents who have high authority at home. In school as the second home for students, have to lead student activities when they are uncontrolled by their parents. The teachers must introduce student to always live clean such as throwing the trash into the rubbish box, washing hand habit, cleaning room. Those are able to show how to live better. As a result, when young child copy good role model from their parents and follow the regulation from the school, those are able to lead them into health activities. It is clear that both parents and school should be aware of students activities to direct them in better way of life.

However, this does not mean that the other factors should be completely neglected. Media, as the public advertisement, holds the important role to publish the healthy lifestyle program. Government as highest authority holder must be more responsible about life changes in its country. It should develop the regulation which is able to lead the citizen to face better life. Ministry of health should take a part for health activities for the residences. Health authority should promote the health prevention for the youth generation. It is clear that all of parts in a country should take part in prevention of lifestyle change to face the challenge of worldwide development.

In conclusion, I personally believe that both parents and school are the most crucial aspects since their responsibilities are needed to lead young children activities to better way of life. Other factors should take part to influence the healthy lifestyle.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of a wind turbine design as an another Source of Renewable Energy [4]

The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A breakdown of a wind turbine design and three different locations to be placed, is illustrated in the diagrams. At first glance, a wind turbine contents several parts, which has their each function. There are three different places that can be used to put the turbine.

Moving to a design, a wind turbin feature consists of blader-fibreglass/wood, steel tower, wind sensor, generator, and computer. Each part of the turbine has a function such blades, which is as a receiver of wind. Then, wind sensor is used to detect speed and direction which is followed by generator as a power producer with output 1,5 megawatts of electricity. Moreover, another component is a computer to receive information from the sensor. All parts are combined to construct a wind turbine to be used as an electrical source.

Turning to the locations, there are three different locations that can be used to place the turbin. The first, on the hill, in this place the maximum wind strenghts can be obtained. The second, it is in the sea with landscape not spoiled, and another place is near home as a domestic turbine that is able to produce 100 kilowatts electricity.

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Writing Feedback / Government spending on public services? Facilitating art is not a money waste too. [2]

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Art is becoming popular nowadays when some countries more likely to spend their budget to subsidise the art. It is argued that government should spend their money in public services such as hospital and school even though others believe that facilitating art is not waste money. Although I personally agree that government should spend much for public service, providing some budget for art is also can be conducted for some reasons.

There are several reasons that why spending amount of money for public facilities is important. This is because public service such as hospital and school are needed for citizen where those are related to health and education, which are basic needs of the human for encouraging quality of life. For example, If the government does not spend the amount of money in the hospital, it will lead the unhealthy life for the citizen. Similar to this, if the government does not provide facilities for education, how people particularly children and young generation obtain the education. As a consequence, those are more likely to lead the poor quality of life in a society that tend to cause other problems in different aspects.

However, this does mean that subsidising money to the art should be stopped. Firstly, art is a part of human life that cannot be separated because the great pleasure to improve the quality of life is coming from the art, as an entertainment. Moreover, art is one of the local cultural heritage of ancestor that should be preserved because it is an identity of the country such as traditional dancings, songs, or instruments. Also, art is able to bring benefit to the government that can be used to facilitate other aspects.

To conclude, spending money for public service is more likely to encourage society well-being for the citizen. While on other hand, art is said that it is not the primary need for all people in a country, I personally believe that both public service and art should be paid more attention because both of them are needed to improve better life for the citizen.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the inhabitant percentage aged 65 and more in USA, Sweden, and Japan [2]

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A breakdown of the percentage inhabitant aged 65 and more in USA, Sweden, and Japan since 1940 and is predicted until 2040, is illustrated in the line chart. At first glance, there were three different trends in the proportion of population among three different countries. While the USA and Sweden show the fluctuation trend, Japan shows extremely increase in the future.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, standing at 9%, USA held the dominance in the first period in 1940, which was followed by both Sweden (7%) and Japan (5%) at the second and third. During 1940 to 1980, USA and Sweden experienced an increase and declined slightly over the following year in 1990. However, a slight decrease is witnessed by Japan in the early and remained stable over the same period.

Turning to the next analysis, a significant rise was presented by Sweden through USA over a 10-year period from 1990 to 2010, rose to a fifth (20%), and is projected experiencing a increase of a quarter (25%) in 2040 when in the same period, USA remained unchanged prior to being predicted rise significantly in 2040, at 23 percent. Interestingly, Japan, as the lowest during the early and middle period, is projected witnessing an extreme increase and peaks at 27% in 2040.

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Writing Feedback / Underground railway system in different cities - main features and comparisons where relevant. [2]

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A breakdown of the information system of the underground railway in London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto, and Los Angeles since opened in different years, and is measured by kilometres (km) of the route and millions of passengers per year. At first glance, there was a significant dominance in the number of passengers among the cities. While the highest number was shown by Tokyo, Kyoto presented the reverse.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the highest number of passengers was dominated by Tokyo, which was opened in 1927 with route 155 km, 1927 million passengers. In contrary, the shortest route and lowest passengers were experienced by Kyoto since it has been promoted in 1981, which was followed by Los Angeles, as the newest opened in 2001, and Washington DC in 1976, that had 50 and 144 million passengers.

Turning to the next analysis, Opened in 1900 with 199km length, Paris attracted 1191 million of passengers. Interestingly, London, which had the longest route around 394km length, had passengers 775 million since it was published in 1863.

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Writing Feedback / Public museums and art galleries vs Computer - great tool, but can it replace personal experience? [2]

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer.

Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is true that development of technology tends to lead people getting convenient in their activities including easy-access of information. While some people believe that modern technology can be used to see historical sites and arts in only in the screen computer which is possible to replace the existence of public museums and art galleries, I personally believe that their presence cannot be displaced, and it will be better to include the piece of technology for maintaining local sites.

The essence of museums and art galleries are situated in real condition and can not be switched interface in the modern devices such as computer or smartphone. This is because the meaningful of historical objects and art sites are not able to be sensated in the screen of the computer. For example, the portrait of Monalisa with its mistery may be able to be seen on the internet or picture on a computer, but the relief and the appearance cannot be enjoyed by only using a screen of the computer. This means that the real creations or man-made product cannot be substituted by modern devices.

However, the presence of technology in this modern era should not be completely neglected due to its benefit. To begin, technology such as a computer connected to internet can be used to browse the information about historical sites from different places even country. Not only that, online galleries and museums can be created which tend to attract people to visit the real place of the art creations to see directly the objects. Moreover, it can be tools to publish local heritage sites in the worldwide that is possible to introduce local culture heritage as an identity of a country.

Furthermore, in my view, it cannot be denied that the development of technology appears in human life to provide convenient in their activities like gathering news, searching information about arts or historical sites. Then, it can be used as an advertisement media to attract people visiting museums or galleries and it is not for replacing the function of museums or galleries.

To conclude, it is argued that technology tends to influence the human need for information including information of histories such as art and ancient sites by using electronic media. While some people believe that everything can be accessed by modern devices, I personally believe that the meaningful of historical heritage can be sensed by seeing directly.

Writing Feedback / Public Library is waste of money since computer can replace their functions. [2]

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A Public library is a place where knowledge can be obtained. Some people said that spending money to maintain public library is wasful since all information of education can be accessed by modern technology such as computers. While modern devices become popular today, I personally believe that existence library for public is still needed which can be accessed by everyone when computer not.

It is true that development in technology such as computer and internet cannot be avoided when it provides easy-access for general information and it tends to change the printed document into electronic books, which are able to be easily downloaded. Not only that, the new innovations have been developed to create various of applications easily used by computers or smarphones. The another benefit, it can be opened and read everywhere due to the available access. Unfortunatelly, in different side, there are some aspects cannot be supplied by the computers or internet such as qualified research references, academic atmosphere, and spaces for discussing where those are facilitated by public library.

Public service facilities such as library should be paid more attention and maintained by the government as a place where the process of learning transfer tends to be conducted. This is because these provide an appropriate place like a comfort zone, academic environment, and discussing spaces to students finishing their assignments. Moreover, Library offers the valid source of research that is bound to support the literacies of scientific papers such as journals, ancient books, or research publications. Furthermore, the librarians are able to help visitors finding the valid references.

To conclude, the technology in modern era influence people to gain convenient in all aspects including information and reading source. while some people believe that modern devices are possible to substitute the public library, I personally state that library is still needed and maintaining of its public service should be considered by the government.

Writing Feedback / It is argued that higher education can lead people to obtain better life [2]

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society.

Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Different people have different approaches to gain success. It is argued that higher education can lead people to obtain better life while others believe that there are some benefits becoming independence and living in societies. In this case, I personally believe that both are crucial in human life linked to a well-being lives.

It is true that the education in the university is related to finding a job. Most of people continue their study in higher level education to grab well-paid work which possible to change their life's quality. This is because education has been linked to the career opportunity. For example, when people have been graduated from university, they are expected having some skills order to apply in a high-class company. A survey conducted by the University of Indonesia found that 64% employees in a company were dominated by graduated from university means that there is a correlation between education and job opportunity.

Apart from this, there are other benefits for individuals and society. Firstly, living independence tends to lead a student being creative and do not depend on another person. Moreover, it can influence student's activity to make relation with other people in society that is possible to build the network able to make cooperation, which can be related to business. In addition, in this modern era, we live in the competitive era where living in societies can teach the students how to survive and compete to grab the best occasion.

Furthermore, in my view, I believe that education can be a bridge for the students facing this era while all of goals need more efforts, but on another hand, the independence and relation with other people can help students to live sociality which is possible to develop the linked to provide better future.

To conclude, graduation from university is linked to job opportunities for students. While some people argue that social communities and individual bring some advantages, I personally believe that both of them encourage opportunity for students to obtain better in their life, not only job' chance but also relationship.

Writing Feedback / Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem unhealthy lifestyle [2]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
Do you agree or disagree?

In this contemporary era, the unhealthy lifestyle is becoming a threat to children activities. As such, it is argued that both parents and schools have more responsibilities to tackle with this situation due to their closer with children. While most of children time are spent at home, I personally believe both parents and schools can be the best role model.

It is true that parents hold an important role for their childs because they have more time interacting with children. The parents should be more sensitive with their children's lifestyle related to their healthy life. A case in point, parents should control kid's food with the best nutrition which is needed by youngsters to support their activities. Not only this, parents should pay more attention to restcrict over consumption of internet and television that those can affect on resting quality. Moreover, parents should become the best role model to teach student how to live health and clean such as waking up in the early morning, tidying their own room, washing their dirty clothess or glass after being used.

Apart from this, school, as the second home for youngsters doing their activities, should take a part of this condition. School can apply some rules to control student's activities when they are in the school. In addition, schools can provide a canteen where the students can be avoided by eating unhealthy food. Also, teachers can teach students to live clean such as washing hands, throwing trash into rubbish box, and doing exercise to keep their fit.

In conclusion, living in the modern era with under healthy life standard threaten human life particularly for young childs. For that reason, I personally believe that both parents and schools have the crucial role leading childs to obtain better life's quality.

Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the integration problems for people of different age who live overseas [3]

the chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A breakdown of the percentage integration problems for people in different aged who live in overseas is illustrated in the bar chart. At first glance, the most obvious piece of information is that all people in different aged face the same problems. While the highest problem faced by people aged 25-54 is shorting out healthcare, sorting out finances is the main problem experienced by youngsters.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the highest problem faced by group aged 25-54 is sorting out health care, a problem experienced by 37 percent, which is followed by 35% in sorting out finances. However, young group people aged 18-34 face sorting out finances as the most difficult problem, 34% young people get this problem, and around a third (33%) by sorting out healthcare.

Turning to the next analysis, the group people aged over 55 find the main trouble by 36% in sorting out and healthcare followed by sorting out finances. Interestingly, the smallest problem faced by all of the groups is finding schools for my children.

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Writing Feedback / Recruitment process of Language teachers in Ontario; French teaching staff more popular than English [3]

The graph below shows information about the recruitment process of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

A breakdown of percentage of first-year language teachers recruitment in Ontario over a 7-year period from 2001 to 2007 is illustrated in the line chart. Overall, there were two different trends in the recruitment of new language teaching staffs. While the percentage of French teachers recruitment increased slightly, the recruitment of English teachers was reduced significantly during the period.

Standing at 74%, recruitment English teaching staffs was higher than necessaries of French teachers, stood at seven in ten (70%), in 2001. However, 2007 showed an extremely different pattern. While French teachers recruitment increased moderately to 75%, rose by 5%, the enrollment of English instructors was decreased significantly by only a quarter (25%) over the period.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, there was a change figure both French and English teachers recruitment over a 4-year period during 2001 to 2005. While in 2002, both experienced a dramatic decrease, 52% French teachers and 58% for English, 2003 showed the recruitment of French rose quickly to 78% when the necessity of English teachers plunged continually at two-fifth percent (40%). Interestingly, a gradual rise was experienced by both over following three years before falling slowly in 2006.

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Writing Feedback / Media has a crucial role to persuade people to watch their program - what is proposed in TV nowdays? [NEW]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or football players. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this contemporary era, media has a crucial role to persuade people to watch their program. As such, media has paid more attention to famous people's lives and relationships like celebrities, sports players, or singers. While some people argue media should report the ordinary people in order to show their lives, I personally believe that publish both of popular persons and ordinary people can bring benefits for audiences due to special unusual activities.

Having said that media tends to give more attention to famous persons because it is related to attract the audiences who have been linked to benefit. The media earn a lot of profit when their program has many watchers. A case in point, TV show of Raffi Ahmad tends to attract many people to watch his relationship and life. The producer said in an interview that it is bound to earn money when this TV show is always published. Similarly, the report of football player such as Messi leads people to enjoy their watching because media tries to reach plenty viewers to enjoy that station which provides information in order to increase their company.

Apart from this, the necessary of audiences is not only about celebrities lives. Therefore, media should report unusual activity such as lives of ordinary people. Firstly, most of the audiences are more likely familiar with celebrities lives. It will be different when they watch program which shows the realistic life of ordinary people such as a struggle of farmers to earn money not like celebrities. Not only that, media should facilitate the newest information about world condition such as a war in Syria or Palestine. Moreover, the poverty in local environment can be a useful issue that should be published by media in the public.

To conclude, media is the update information tool in this modern era. Because of this, media should provide the newly news, not only famous people but also ordinary people thanks to their lives. In this case, I highly likely believe that both information can help people to obtain more information surrounding them.