Writing Feedback / Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002 (Writing Task 1) [2]

This table presents how costumer expenditure in five different countries in Europe on five different items. At first glance, it is evident that while five countries made use of expenditure dominantly for food, drinks, and tobacco purposes but much less on leisure and education purposes.

Food/ drinks/ tobacco was the largest expenditure item for Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey, with all of them spending around more than a quarter from of their income on this, at 28.91%, 16.36%, 18.80%, 15.77%, 32.14%. In contrast, they spend approximately one-twenty on leisure and education. To begin, Turkey had the highest spend of income, at almost one-third or 32,14% on food, drinks and tobacco. Accounting for a lowest amount of used for food, drinks and tobacco purposes was Sweden (15,77%), it was almost a half from Turkey's expenditure. Italy lead the percentage on the clothing and footwear at 9.00% while at the same category, Sweden also take the last place with figure less than 6% or 5.40%. Next, other four countries were around 6%. Interestingly, costumer spending in five countries for leisure and education purposes were very low, less than 5% or around one-twenty from a whole spending proportion.

Writing Feedback / Summary : Scramble to rescue tourists on slopes of Lombok volcano (source : The Times) [6]

Sub-crater of Mount Rinjani in Lombok Island, Indonesia, well-known as Barujari Mount started the eruption on Tuesday afternoon. It made people who around in that area in panic situations. A thousand tourist were evacuated by Emergency volunteer to the nearby safety place. National Park Officials released the number of tourist, according to the announcement, there were 398 people while most of them were overseas tourist and local tourist were less than 30%. It was noticeable that no one injured. The erupting Barujari Mount did not made a huge impact daily activities in Lombok, for example to the flight companies. As usual, Lombok Airports were functioning whereas two companies canceled their schedule and the other flights schedule were delay. Indonesia is an country which has massive volcanoes, interestingly it made people from around the world spend their vacation in Indonesia. An breathtaking scenery is the most reason that people enjoy to visit Barujari Mountain.

Writing Feedback / Every conversation have a potential to start a conflict; how to improve face-to-face communication? [3]

10 ways to make a better conversation by Celeste Headlee (TED Summary)

Starting her speech, Celeste Headlee asked to audience who avoid someone in Facebook because they talks about something offensive. Actually, every conversations have a potential to start a conflict. Nowadays, people do not listen each other. According few research shows that a third students send more a thousand message to their friends than struck up face-to-face chit-chat everyday. Sometimes, Students have huge amount of admirable ideas each other through screen whereas conversation is the one of considerable ability In 21st century. Both of listening and talking are the vital part from an conversations. To make an interesting conversation, we have to keep them balance. Then she declares 10 ways to enjoy our conversation such as do not multitask, do not pontificate while conversation is something you could learn from, go with the flow, and do not be afraid if you do not know just say it. Next, you should use open minded question so avoid the simplest one, do not equate your experience with your chit-chat partner, avoid to repeat yourself, stay out the weed, you have to listen to intend, not to answer and the last one is be brief. As her awful closing statement, she invites us to go out, talk to people, listen to people and be prepared to be amazed.

Writing Feedback / The preferred evening course that both males and females (various ages) have recently attended [2]

Writing Task 1 : The number men and women attending various evening course in 2009

The bar chart present the preferred evening course that the different genders were attended most recently while the pie chart compares the percentage of age of these course participants during 2009. At first glance, it is evident from the charts that participants who had age 50 or over attended more than other age range and language program was the most common attendance in one year compared than other course. Most of programs were dominated by women compared than men.

To begin, the proportion of participants age 50 over who had age 50 or over was much greater than the four arrest age group. Most a half, 42% were attended compared to only 5 % for age under 20 who had the lowest proportion attendance. At the second place, age 40-49 had percentages less than one-third while the arrest age group were around 11-16%.

Turning to the kind of course for the most recent participants, there were some clear differences between man and women. Women were as likely to be attended for drama and language evening course than men at 10 and 20 people, 20 and 40 people. The painting class were also slightly higher for women by 5 people. The number of women and men who attended language class had different significant by 20 people. For both of sexes, language program was the highest attendance at 60 people when the painting class was fairly similar at approximately 5 people whereas the sculpture class represented a quarter from language attendance. Interestingly, different with other program, most of people who attended sculpture class were men, while the number of women were a half from women.

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Writing Feedback / Gene-Ocide, The Promise and Perit of "gene drives" (Article Summary) [3]

According to the result from loved-least world competition, Mosquito is the most favorite animal because the mosquito's ability to carry the parasites that cause human diseases. Zika, Malaria, Dengue are the human disease that are carried by Mosquito. All of them are top-line deadly disease in the world. Because of that reason, some people think if this deadly mosquito disappear, the world becomes better. Some scientist who have field study in genetic engineering, make a research to modified male A. aegypti to become sterile, and the result was released in Brazil. Mosquito is the main object for gene drives while It was increased the investment funding for the research. Gene drives have to cope with animal that carried human diseases parasites, such as mosquito or bat. Opponent people though that gene drive was less morally action if it used to eliminate a species while impact from disappearing that species is unpredictable. Reversibility and consent were two main principles that were obeyed by genetic engineers.

Writing Feedback / Kang Lee: Can you really tell if a kid is lying? (TED Summary) [3]

Most of the audience put their hands up when Kang Lee asked them if they ever lie in childhood. Adults believed some concerning about kid and lies. First, children started to lie at elementary school. Second, children are poor liars so we are easily to detect it. Last, if children lies at very young age, they must become pathological liars for life. All of three beliefs are wrong. The researcher convinced children to play guessing cards and the winner will get big gift but the researcher get out the room and told the children to do not peek the card. As soon as the teacher left the room, they peek the cards. A research in elementary school showed more than 80% children were peek the cards as soon as the teacher get out from the room and they lied about it. Lying is typical parts of development, they starts lie as young as 2 years old. Kang Lee also told that there were two main ingredients to make a good lying. First ingredient is mind reading, an ability to know that different people have different knowledge. Second is ability to control their facial expression, their speech, and body language known as self control. Young children have more mind-reading and self control ability, but in the future, we will easily to detect their lies using lie-detection technology that can reveal our hidden lies.

Writing Feedback / Common Painkillers 'increase heart failure risk' [6]

Non-Steroidal Anti-inflammatory Drug (NSAIDs), well known as a painkiller, is a kind of drugs that used to relieve pain and inflammation. Painkiller can increase the risk of heart failure. The risk of heart failure towards people who consume NSAIDs increases by 19% than people who do not eat this drug. Researchers from UK through survey study from 10 million people from 4 countries such as UK, Netherlands, Italy and Germany, found that people aged around 65 were the highest users of painkiller. Patients should use this drug with caution, for instance, high dose usage was avoided by them and do not use it for long period. Study from BHF also revealed, painkiller is kind of drugs that has high risk of heart failure and patients who want to use painkiller should have previous discussion with their doctor, in order to avoid the worst damage. For young people who consume the painkiller regularly, their kidneys should be much concerned by them. It is essential to use it on the right occasion, for example if they have inflammation indication.

Writing Feedback / Young age around student in primary school is the best time to learn new knowledge [4]

Writing Task 2 : The Advantages and Disadvantages of children to begin learning a foreign language

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's modern world, foreign language is one of important competency that plays role in both academic purpose and job. Young age around student in primary school is the best time to learn new knowledge, such as foreign language. Learning foreign language at early age also has some benefits and drawback. I believe that the benefits are much more compared the drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss about both of the views.

Learning foreign language at early age has several benefits. Firstly, children can receive the language easily and capacity their memory effective than other age so children have great opportunity to learn foreign language. Secondly, children around that age have ability to learn foreign language without accent, they can speak with the right pronunciation and copy it completely. Finally, it can prepare the best foundation to children's future, because nowadays, foreign language is the same place with mathematics, science and social.

On the other hand, learning foreign language at early age also has several drawbacks. The main drawback is children can miss the part of character building. At primary school, children should focus in building character and developing their personality because at this age is crucial time to build their character. Another issue is that children may confused to use their mother tongue language because at the same time they learn other language so they usually are not confident to communicate. Other drawbacks are children do not understand their own native language perfectly, it means that children may communicate with foreign language more fluently than their own mother tongue language.

In conclusion, learning foreign language at early age can give benefits and drawbacks to children. I believe that the benefits teaching foreign language in primary school apparently outweigh the drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / The online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand's market, in 2003 and 2013; Task 1 [2]

The pie charts present the information about the percentages of online sales through different retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. According to the charts, there were four sectors : travel, film and music, clothes and book. Overall, it can be seen that there was significant changes in their proportion of online market.

To begin, in 2013, Travel sector addressed for the majority of online trades at 36%, but this percentage had declined to 29% in 2013. During the same period, as a dramatic rise people had tendency to purchase film and music through online market while the transaction jumped from just 21% to 33%, making film and music sector with the largest proportion of the whole online sales in 2013.

By 2013, clothes hold an admirable 24% of the whole online sales proportion in New Zealand. However, the figure had dropped sharply to 16% in 2013. Interestingly, online sales of books eventually overtook sales of clothes although clothes still captured only 22% of the market.

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Writing Feedback / Plenty of trees are cutted. Paraphrase from "Environmental Impacts from Logging" [NEW]

Logging has serious damage to natural environment such as habitat loss, pollution and climate. However, the cutting down trees for commercial use includes shipping crates to paper bags gives impacts to worldwide rain-forest, from Central Africa, Southern Asia and South America to the Northern forest of Canada and Scandinavia. Actually, Plants lose their nutrients, water, and shelter, animal and microbial vanish from natural habitat are intact effects from deforestation.

Trees play important role in existence of rain-forest, particularly for other organism that relies on forest. Small mammals, insects, worms, reptiles, and amphibians who lived in rain-forest floor, dense canopy of branches and leaves has benefit to them to intercept heavy rainfall. Erosion also can be avoided by tree roots, it maintain the soil so a healthy soil can give contribution to tree growth through root development and microbial activity. Building a road is the most responsible factor in soil damage. Trucks and heavy equipment make furrows where water collects because they compress the spongy soil and disrupt water flow in the underground.

Aquatic habitat also experienced the impact from logging. Cutting down trees removes advantage from vegetation along river and stream banks role as the stabilizer steady water flows. Both of them worked by blocking the entry of soil and other residue while growth of alga is prevented by tree shade. If that role could not play well, it can make oxygen depletion in the water that could kill fish and other wildlife.

The other important from tree existence is their role as natural defender against air pollution that their leaves as a filter pollutant. They produce oxygen by removing carbon dioxide. If the trees disappear so the pollutant still exist in the atmosphere. Water vapor and pollutant form acid rain. About one-fifth of carbon dioxide emission in the world are impacts from deforestation that give massive contributions to global warming. It also affects the weather in particular, such as rainfall patterns and even forest fires. If logging practices environmentally, it could protect forest which has vital role as natural resource and habitat for huge number of living things to our young generation.

Writing Feedback / Each species respond to develop and spread out into an ecological niche. Bird Migration [2]

Several kind of animals do migration, the regular movement from one place to another place in order to holding out their life. Bird migration particularly draws much attention to the observer for century. Through migration, it can be seen how each species responds to develop and spread out into ecological niche that can provide the possible conditions to breed and raise young.

During the warm season, birds commonly travel to higher latitudes of the Northern Hemisphere that has optimal environment to breed, meanwhile during the non-breeding season they come back to lowest latitudes. Seabirds species are the only one that has different route migration to the higher latitudes of Southern Hemisphere to breed. Many species of migratory birds like arctic tern who flies 24,000 miles during migration, have trans-equatorial route, while they live at arctic regions in Northern Hemisphere during breeding season and spend the rest of the year at antarctic waters in the Southern Hemisphere. A ptarmigan, a form of arctic grouse, only have small distance migration who spend breeding season on arctic peaks and the winter season in neighboring valleys, and suffer patiently from coldest conditions.

During migration, Birds have different length of their ability to fly each day, it is more likely about six to eight hours and some birds undertake much longer from that depend on geographic feature in their route. Recently, researcher discovered about bird migratory navigation that drive them to specific destination. For nocturnal bird, which travel at night, use stars as their navigation but diurnal birds which travel at the day, use sun and geographic features as their navigation. Birds is predicted that has sense of time because they use sun and stars that move constantly at twenty-four hours.

Writing Feedback / Culture and Language. When we want to learn abroad culture, we have to master the language first. [3]

Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language.
Do you agree with this opinion?

Recently, some people think that when we want to learn abroad culture, we have to master the language first. Understanding the native language from that country is able to make our studies easier, but personally I strongly disagree that we are forbidden to learn local culture before we can speak local language fluently.

To begin, supporters of this issue argue that speaking the local language is the main pre-requirement to know the local culture. Firstly, by understanding the native language, people can interact more intimately with the local inhabitants. This is because local inhabitants usually can not speak other language so when we can speak with their language, we can understand their explanation, of course we also can explore the local resources about the culture. Another benefit is that we can learn the culture through an independent way. This is because we can travel alone around that country to explore the culture without using the guide or expert.

However, language has not to be a limitation. This is because, nowadays, there are several resources about the other country's cultures that have been translated into the various language, so we can learn with our mother language. For instance, in this cutting-edge era, most of people who want to know about the cultures of the other countries, can find the resources from the internet using their sophisticated gadget. They only have to type the key words even without go to everywhere. As a result, people do not need to go abroad or learn abroad language and if they want to study about the cultures, they can learn every where and every time.

To sum up, understanding the local language gives many merits to learn local culture. However, in my point of view, learning novel cultures not only have to master the language first, but also it can be learn by using the internet tools and translated books.

Writing Feedback / Sir Ken Robinson, in his presentation on TED Talk, discussed about education that kills creativity [2]

TED Summary : Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Sir Ken Robinson, in his presentation on TED Talk, discussed the issue about education that kills creativity. It was evident that there were a lot of extraordinary human creativity in world. He narrowed down about education systems in world that have hierarchy with the range of subject like in first position there are mathematics and language, the second place is social and sciences and the last is arts. He did not agree with educational systems that think being wrong as a worst matter, while it was initial step to be a creative. In addition, in this modern era, people have tendency to enrol school to find a job, not to receive knowledge and parents give too much pressure to children in order to make bright future for their children. He also mentioned diverse, dynamic and distinct as three main parts about intelligence. In his conclusion, they invited audience to re-clarify the education systems to let children grow belongs to their age and their ability although future is not predictable.

Writing Feedback / Is pain catching? First clues that it might spread to others [2]

An experiment revealed the social transfer of pain which is examined in mice. This studies explained the causes of phenomenon that most people feel pain without injury or well-known as an obvious medical cause. The result illustrated that the healthy mice experienced pain if they met other mice that injured and pain can develop social cues. The researchers argued that transferring pain in mice is delivered through secreted that is produced by the mice. This result is connected in human life that there is possibility to the healthy people who interact with the chronic patient can be infected, as a result, people who uncomfortable without clear reason is explained through this experiment.

source : newscientist

Writing Feedback / Probably the most worrying threat to our lives at the present time is crime - causes and remedies [2]

Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Probably the most worrying threat to our lives at the present time is crime. This essay will examine the reasons why the crime rate increases and discuss some possible solutions.

The causes of this issue have been and will continue to be very serious. First of all, poverty comes as the predomination cause. This is because the majority of poor people have lack of money to fulfil their needs, then it makes them committing several criminal activities for finding money such as being a robber, gangster even becoming a killer. In addition, another cause like broken family can shape the children to be criminals. This is due to the fact that most of criminals are coming from the broken home family in which those criminal do not get enough attention from their parents during their childhood. Thirdly, drug and alcohol also contribute an impact for an appearance of criminals. It means that people who are consuming drug and alcohol can easily turn to be a criminal since they are in paralyse conditions.

Nevertheless, there are possible ways to solve these problems, or at least reduce the effects. Firstly, governments have to make regulations about heavier punishments to the offender. It means that inhabitants will afraid to offend the laws because it has heavy punishment. Secondly, education also plays crucial role to prevent the crime. This is for the reason that schools have to teach students about the valuable norm in the society since primary school in order to educate the inhabitants well. Finally, sophisticated technologies also can help. This is because, in this modern era especially in the crowded or vulnerable area, the security cameras (CCTV) can be set in which that technology is connected to the police station.

To conclude, although this issue causes from several problems in society, there are steps that can be taken by government, education and technologies in order to prevent this rise criminal activity.

Writing Feedback / There is no doubt that air travel takes a part of responsibility to make the air pollution. [2]

Restricting air travel to prevent the air pollution? Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, in globalization era, air transportations make long distance between one country to others become a short distance and time. Personally, I strongly disagree that in order to prevent the air pollution, we have to restrict the air travel because of several considerations.

To begin, there is no doubt that air travel takes a part of responsibility to make the air pollution. This is for the reason that recently, there are huge number of air flight in a day in each country that utilize the fuel fossil, a pre-dominant material that causes the air pollution. For example, the data from Ministry of Transportation reveal that in Indonesia, every five minutes there is a air flight schedule, it can be seen that air travel also has big responsibility to create the air pollution with their massive number. As a result, the increasing of air flight in this cutting-edge era influence the increasing of the air pollution.

However, air travels have several benefits in human life. Firstly, air travel can accommodate people to different area even to different country to go their destination. This means that people in this modern era have various necessity like family gathering or business meeting in another place that only can be reached by using plane. Secondly, air travel also can be used to transport the daily needs from one country to others that can not be found in their own country, because not all of countries can produce their own daily needs so they have to buy and that needs can be sent by using air travel. Finally, air travel is not the biggest producer of air pollution. This is because, motorcycle has the biggest proportion to create the air pollution rather than the air travel so restricting the air travel to prevent the air pollution is not the suitable decision.

To conclude, although air travel has responsibility to create the air pollution but personally, I strongly disagree that air travel is restricted in order to reduce the air pollution. I consider about the massive impacts from this issue to the world's economy condition.

Writing Feedback / Reading every day. The law of 33% - Tai Lopez [2]

Tai Lopez in TED Talk, presented that everyone desires to acquire a good life, but in the real life, some of them do not get a good life. Then he illustrated, how our lives today would be if the most successful people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Arnold Schwarzenegger and other famous people assisted us through their abilities in our daily activities. In addition, he asked audience how many changes that we could have done if they became our mentor. From his illustration, he narrowed down the importance of a mentor appearance in our life. This is because every person need a model role for their life and a mentor, who has power to transform our life with their ability. A moment later, he told about his journey to find his mentor through reading a book a day because in his opinions, books are treasure, and he continued to meet that people, learning about two parts of life; health and happiness in more than 51 countries.