Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Posts by jalp
Name: Jea Chan
Joined: May 7, 2018
Last Post: Mar 22, 2019
Threads: 13
Posts: 34  
Likes: 7
From: Philippines
School: FEU

Displayed posts: 47 / page 1 of 2
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Mar 22, 2019
Writing Feedback / Strict ban on plastic bags - opinion essay [2]

In many countries, plastic bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree?

Strict ban on plastic bags.

Pollution is one of the greatest problems here on Earth. Plastics bags contribute to the planet's downhill, therefore, many countries have banned plastic bags to save the environment. In my opinion, I completely agree to this reinforcement.

Trash is not environmental-friendly. It is also one of the causes of water pollution. Plastics bags are the main type of trash that can harm the ocean, as well as the sea creautures. Death of sea mammals are all over the news because of their accidental inhalation or intake of plastic products. Thus, dead animals in the ocean is toxic to people and to those who are main sources of income rely on fishing.

In addition to that, not only the water is polluted, but the land as well. Flood is one of the main outcome of rubbish bags stuck under the land or storage of waste materials. When storm comes, there are dams who are responsible for collecting the water in the cities caused by rain, however, because plastic bags are in the way, the function of dams is not met, thus, causing flood to some areas.

As an example, In the Philippines, there are cities where they do not allow plastic bags in the establishments, grocery stores, fast food chains and even hotels. They promote using of paper bags as a replacement to plastic products. Imposing a slogan that the humanity should lessen the use of plastic materials.

Therefore, I totally agree that banning plastic bags can help the world to be a better place. This law can reduce water and land pollution to many countries. With that in mind, people will be aware of the harmful effects of plastic bags to the environment.
Mar 22, 2019
Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 : The employment of the first-year teachers in Ontario from 2001 to 2007 [2]

Hope this could help.

First paragraph gave too much information about the graph.
Usually, you re-phrase the title and then write the obvious changes without telling it one by one.

I also noticed that you explained this graph by year, and that was good.

The last paragraph was a bit confusing. You wrote 2003-2007 on french and then divided the English teachers into different sentences in which that made me confuse for a few seconds.

Overall, it was a good writing.

Hope you pass your exam !
Dec 1, 2018
Writing Feedback / I don't agree with this statement, that success in life depends more on luck [3]


Luck plays an important part in one's success.

The belief that success in life depends more on luck is embraced by some people. I, however, disagree with this statement due to several reasons.

There is an element of lack to everyone's career. Whether being born into a wealthy family or being in the right place at the right time. There are those who do nothing but still prosper in life. For example, the lottery winners are considered lucky. The money they won is used for personal pleasure and/or business opportunities that may result to being successful.

However, I completely disagree that luck is the most important factor in one's success. I believe that hard work is what makes a person successful. Aside from that, intelligence and resilience are also essential in one's life. I think that good fortune is the least ingredient to gain success.

As an example, Tiger Woods is by far, the best golfer in the world, not because he is lucky but because he is talented and worked hard to be the greatest. Another famous example of a successful and respectable person is Oprah. As one of the richest and most influential woman in the whole world, with challenges and problems, she got through those by being strong and wise in making decisions. Those characteristics are her ammunitions to survive life and for being at the top of her game.

Therefore, even though the importance of luck is believed by some people to achieve happiness and wealth, I, am in completely disagreement to this idea. As mentioned, there are other factors that can help to a person's success in life, and it does not only happen by chance.
Dec 1, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Problems and Solutions Small Business [2]


I think that you do not say everything in your introduction. State that there are problems and solutions that will be discussed further.

'caused by stopping people to run their businesses'

The question is about why small companies lose to big companies, your body did not explain that, rather focused on what will happen to these small companies and effects of losing.

Second body is good, the solutions are great, however, you do not state percentage because you do not have the data to prove your statistics.

Either way, I hope you pass your IELTS.
Sep 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / ART VS SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY - How can art make a difference in our society? [2]

In today's world of advanced science and technology, people still value artists such as painters, musicians and writers. How can art make a difference in our society that science and technology cannot?


In modern world of digital and advanced science, art makers and song writers are still valued by the people. They make a difference that science and technology does not have. Examples will be explained further.

Without a painter, there is no art. Although with the advanced technology, an art can be enhanced or improved. However, a computer cannot draw itself or make a design without a person who is artistic enough to do it. Thus, a painter or a designer is essential to every craft because an art will not make itself.

Another example of what artists can do that technology cannot is making music. With the help of autotune and background songs, music is made by musicians. Therefore, they are the foundation in creating a song. A computer can produce sounds but musicians make the music, create the beats, and provide the good rhythm that is pleasing to the listener's ears. Without the composer or singers, the society can only hear random sounds without words or lyrics.

In addition to that, writers are also appreciated by people because of their thoughts, ideas and words that science and technology cannot provide. In today's modern world, publishing books and posting stories made easier by the internet but without the creativeness or talent of the writers or story makers, books or articles will not exist in the first place.

To conclude, although advanced science and technology are extremely helpful to our society, the importance of artists such as painters, musicians and writers cannot be set aside. Their natural talents and artistic side can make the world a colorful and beautiful place. Because of that, everyone still treasures what these special people can do that technology cannot.
Aug 13, 2018
Writing Feedback / Building and its appearances - the exterior look is not so important as usefulness? [3]

When designing a building, the intended use of the building should be taken into account rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In architecture, while it is important to design a building by it's purpose, the exterior should not be of concerned. I, however, disagree to this statement. The reasons will be explained further.

Architects design building by their use. For example, a coffee shop should be cozy and comfortable-looking for the clients. Therefore, designers will create a look that is intended for coffee lovers. Aside from that, not only the interior will be full of art the exudes coffee but also the outside appearance of the shop.

To attract costumers, it is important that the first line of business is appealing to the buyers. Thus, when people see a building that is well-thought out or creative and reflects what its purpose then it can help gain more clients. As a popular adage goes, first impression lasts.

With than in mind, I believe that outward appearance is as significant as the inward appearance of a certain building. As a person, people judge a human being by his or her looks, hence, it also applies to the buildings we cee in the city. If a certain establishment is not pleasing to the eye, people will not go inside or check that place out but would rather tale a step back or walk away from it.

Ultimately, the exterior of a building should not be set aside by the designers. Although the interior is essential in creating buildings, the design outside can also make or break the purpose of it. As it is the first thing that people see and appreciate.
Aug 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / Banning of private cars and permitting public vehicles in city centers. [4]

Thank you very much for the review. I'm getting frustrated that I still don't know how to answer essays. I think I focused more on the benefits instead of elaborating each type of transportion. But i will, once again, take note of your comments.

Again, thank you for not getting tired of reviewing my work. And everyone else's. I salute you for the long patience.
Aug 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / INTRODUCE MY JOB AND FAMILY [3]

It is very challenging work

Is 'a'

can be exhausting

Exhausting is a negative word, this does not impress the reader.

very precious for me : 'to' me

Your family does not consist of two persons, because you are also included in the family. You can say you have a wife and a son.

Your English is very simple. I think you should read more so you can explain yourself better.
Aug 8, 2018
Writing Feedback / The popularity of reading news online means crisis for printed newspapers [3]

I think you should remove the word 'argue' in your intro. An argument wasn't mentioned to this prompt. Maybe use 'believe' or 'think' as a replacement.

APPs is stand for? This should be mentioned in your essay because not every reader can understand that.
Same goes to BBC.

I think you did great on disagreeing to newspapers being the most important source. Your grammar is definitely better than mine.

I hope this sort-of helps.
Aug 8, 2018
Writing Feedback / Study of genetics recently has enormous role in this era - IELTS 2 [2]

Intro: paraphrase of the prompt and your opinion.

You did not mention your opinion on this.
The 'key' is not considered an opinion but a solution to this discussion.

Potentially harms human race.
will potentially harm human race

Bp1: if there was a mistake that could be or was made

Mistakes happen because of some

I can't continue anymore because your essay needs to be corrected, grammar-wise.

I suggest that you read more books or essays with the same prompt and learn the proper way of writing and using correct tenses.

I hope this helps!
Aug 8, 2018
Writing Feedback / Banning of private cars and permitting public vehicles in city centers. [4]

Some cities have vehicle free-days where private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned in city centres. Only bus, bicycles and taxis are permitted in the city centres. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?


There are some places that public vehicles are allowed to pass and there are also that forbid private cars on certain days. This kind of strategy to all transportations are being implemented in most cities. I think this has more pros than cons that I will explain further.

In this ban, people with cars and companies that use trucks in exchange of goods are at disadvantaged. Their products can be delayed while business men who travel with their own cars are not allowed to use them. Thus, it creates a hassle to figure out a different way or transportation to go from one place to another.

However, there are more advantages than drawbacks. First, it reduces car congestion in city centres. Trucks are huge, and buses, are the same too. Dividing the days that these large vehicles can travel will give more space to other vehicles. As a result, traffic jams or any car accidents will decrease.

As an example, In the Philippines, their President implemented a window period that allows trucks and other heavy container cars in using city roads. There are only certain areas that they can enter. Thus, minimizing traffic and providing more room to other cars. They also have a system that controls the number of vehicles on the road. The last number of every car plate has an indication that there are specific days that people can not use their cars and they call it 'coding'.

Therefore, I believe that there are more benefits for letting the public transportations including bicycles in city centres as presented in this essay. Giving private ones, like cars, trucks and motorcycles, a rest to the road is an advantage to the city and public.
Jul 22, 2018
Writing Feedback / Robots are dangerous invention to the society. [3]

Thank you very much! I, at least think that I made small progress.

No personal opinion should be mentioned on opening paraphrase if it's not a direct response essay. ✔️

No 'i personally' sentence ✔️

Improve conclusion ✔️

Always grateful for your review. 😊
Jul 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should school leavers take a year off before going to university? [4]


Your first body paragraph got me a bit confused. I think you have the right idea but the sentences were all over the place.

The question is, if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and your answer is 'there are more pros than cons'. Basing on that, I think this is how you should arrange your ideas.

1. Rephrase of the topic and your answer.
2. Yours have mentioned the disadvantages(yet not clearly), but, I think you should explain one advantage that outweighs the disadvantage that you have mentioned. If you get what i mean. Then, another sentence for example.

3. Another advantage and example.
4. Your opinion
5. Summary

I hope this helps.
Jul 17, 2018
Writing Feedback / Robots are dangerous invention to the society. [3]

how robots can affect human lives?


There is an ongoing discussion about how robots can affect human lives. While some people think that robots are dangerous, few people support its purpose that can help humans in the near future. I, however, believe that these human-like machines can be harmful to the society.

In this modern world, the invention of robots and its use are being popular. Some people believe that these battery-operated machines can develop the future of human beings. If engineers create more robots, these machines can help the workers by minimizing human work. As an example, some factories in Japan are now being labored by robots, because of their efficiency and calculated movements, the amount of job done is doubled compared to human labor.

However, as the demand for robots rises, more and more people will lose their job. Companies replace human labor to machine labor which can impact negatively to the human race. Picturing the future, the machines built like human beings are going to invade the world. People will be jobless and social interaction will lessen because these robots are controlled by computers and have their own functions depending on how they are programmed.

Therefore, I personally think that robots have negative influence to the society. These machines will not improve the future but rather take over the lives of human race. The society might think that robots can make people's lives easier, but in the long run, these will control people instead of the other way around.

With this in mind, the society is still weighing the impact of the robots to human lives. The future holds the capacity and function of human beings compared to the computer-operated machines and its purpose to mankind. I still believe that as long as humans can manage and control the use of robots, it will help people rather than replace them.

I will appreciate any criticisms and grade you can give me.
Thanks in advance.

Jul 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / 'We get educated only in school.' What are your views? [5]

first, this essay is too long. This probably has 300-400 words. Or maybe more.

This is how you made your essay

BP1 school
BP2 school
BP3 interaction
BP4 technology

I think you can integrate your point about school 'not' the only place for education in your body paragraph 1. Try to shorten it and be direct.

You have made a good explanation with interaction and technology plus your grammar is good as well.
Jul 14, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should children be banned from playing computer games? [5]


First, I think you need to improve your grammar so the reader can understand what you are trying to say.

Second, what is the complete prompt of this essay? Does this require your opinion?

Although giving examples is a plus so it can lengthen your essay and elaborate more of your point of view.
Jun 26, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Why do people learn a foreign language? Show the reasons. [7]


I believe that this is how your body paragraph should be:

1. learning a language for work
2. Other reasons why people learn a different language
3. Your opinion

Since the prompt is 'discuss both views' this should be seen in your body paragraphs.

I think you need to improve your introduction and conclusion as well. Sentences that will capture the reader's interest.

Hope this helps!
Good luck 👍🏼
Jun 24, 2018
Writing Feedback / Causes and measures to overcome overweight. [4]

Today, more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?


Obesity has been a health problem until now. Fast food, I think, is one of the primary reasons of this problem. This essay will discuss the causes of overweight and possible solutions to solve this issue.

With the increasing amount of fast food chains, coming out like mushrooms in cities, the number of people who are above their desired weight are rising too. Fast food restaurants serve high caloric and greasy snacks with carbonated drinks that can gain weight and also unhealthy to the body. As a result, more and more people become obese because of its accessibility and easy preparation.

Another cause of overweight is stress. When people are stressed, they tend to relieve this by over eating. Some may even call it, stress eating. Also, because of the hustle and bustle life in the city, people forget to eat right on time or prepare healthy food which results to purchasing take-out food.

The government are taking measures to stop this erratic health problem. As a popular adage goes, prevention is better than cure. By spreading awareness and education people to a healthy lifestyle, this can help the public to avoid unnecessary food intake and practice healthy living such as promoting exercise and activities that can lose weight. Moreover, a healthy lifestyle can reduce the feeling of stress, by having enough energy for work, physically and mentally, thus, hitting two birds with one stone.

All things considered, taking care of one's health should be on top of the list. Overweight is a problem that must be eradicated as soon as possible. To overcome this, awareness, with a combination of action to a healthy lifestyle should be practiced.
Jun 13, 2018
Writing Feedback / Universities can control the number of seats in the different subjects [3]

You shouls include the complete prompt of this essay.

distinguish their generosity
I do not understand how generosity is connected to the entire paragraph.

I think you need to improve first your grammar and vocabulary, then everything will follow.
This essay will not get a good grade from the reader.
Jun 12, 2018
Writing Feedback / Online education as a replacement to traditional education. Which is more benefitial for a student? [3]

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.


As technology advances, education thru internet is embraced by the society. While others believe going to school is still the best way to learn. In my opinion, traditional education has more benefits than online education.

E-learning is an online way to study. Instead of going to school, students will be in front of their computers instead of boards. Some people prefer this kind of education because it is more accessible and less hassle to the students and even to educators. Laptops and internet are all they need for this to work.

However, there are other people who think that being present in the classrooms and face-to-face to their teachers are more conducive in learning. Traditional education involves personal participation that can help the students be active in school activities. Going to school may help young people to interact with other students that can also give them new learnings and different perspectives that they may not achieve by being online.

From my perspective, I believe that sitting in a classroom, listening to the teachers and communicating with other students are better for learning. If a student is present in school, he can raise his hand and ask questions personally whenever he does not understand something. While in e-learning, from my personal experience when I was in college, most videos are recorded, and a professor talked nonstop about his or her specialty. Because of that, I was not able to learn anything but was forced to listen and sit in front of the computer and watch my teacher talk.

Therefore, I still stand on my belief that traditional education have more benefits than internet education. Though being online is the easiest way to learn, it still cannot replace the old-fashion way to absorb knowledge and gain new information by being present in a room full of students and infront of the teacher.

I think this is a weak essay, but I still want to be graded and reviewed so I would know how to correct my future essays if i encounter with the same prompt.

Thank you in advance!

Jun 12, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should government be fully responsible for the underprivileged people? [7]

I understand your point. I think it's one of my problems as well. They are kind of informal and i always struggle to find the academic words or phrases that I should use. Thank you very much for the comment. 🙏🏻

@Kim Truong
Thank you for reading my essay and some advice to improve my work. 🙏🏻
Jun 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Should we abandon our convenient lifestyle? [3]

You have made a good point in explaining your reasons why abandoning current lifestyle is needed for the future. You are also good in grammar and vocabulary. However, I believe, the task is to explain the 'extent' of your agreement, which did not show in your conclusion. That can lower your grade in the TF department.

Hope that helps.
Jun 10, 2018
Writing Feedback / Knowledge gained from personal experience or from books and other printed material; which is better? [4]

In my individual opinion
You can remove individual, Which is better, in my opinion.

it is more advantages
'There are more advantages' is correct.

change completely.

Not only be generous, my neighbors are also kind and helpful.
You can rephrase this sentence but with additional information about your neighbors. You jumped from moving to US then describing your neighbors without any comparison to books.

Though you have mentioned that books can be written by unqualified authors, you should have given an example about a certain book that may relate to you moving to the US.

teach us basic English statements
Maybe you can use common ways or phrases in ordering food and such.

It is good that you wrote a personal experience about your grandfather, although you can correct your vocabulary or grammar better.

I believe that this is how you should have presented your essay.

B1: knowledge gained from books
B2: knowledge gained from experiences
B3: your personal opinion, which is experiences are better than books

This is a contrast/compare essay, you should have written both views then your personal opinion.
Jun 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should government be fully responsible for the underprivileged people? [7]

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?


With more and more people getting unemployed and homeless, there are discussions that the administration must do something about it. In my personal opinion, I disagree that the government should be fully responsible to underprivileged people.

Nowadays, with the decrease demand of employment, there is an increase amount of people without a job. Society thinks that the government should provide jobs for these people. Although there are job fairs all over the world, still, not everyone is getting hired by the companies. Hence, it is not the government's responsibility to give jobs to every unemployed so they can afford to live. The authority is there to assist but not to take care of their needs.

As a result of unemployment, there are those who are homeless or living by the streets. Arguably, this is also one of the government's problems that need to be adressed. However, the help is limited, they can provide temporary living arrangements to the homeless but they cannot give permanent accommodation.

I believe that it is not the government's sole responsibility to provide basic necessities to people at disadvantaged. There are thousands of people who do not have a job, or without a place to live, because of this large number, the government cannot spend the public's money solely on them. This might have a negative effect such as being dependent on the government, that might result to more people taking advantage of public's money.

With that in mind, I still stand on my belief that the government should not be the one to give care for homeless and jobless individuals. The administration, however, may help them by requiring new companies to employ people or some organizations that provide house loans to assist the needs of these people.
Jun 9, 2018
Writing Feedback / Enviroment problem - forest protection necessity [2]

Please include the complete prompt for your essay. It is difficult to review when you have an incomplete topic.

However, let me correct the things I have noticed in your essay.

Needless to say (is not a good start for introduction) , the forest plays a vital ...
Your introduction is too long. Please make it short and direct just to give a clue to the reader of what you're going to discuss on your body paragraphs.

some people are of the opinion that governments and large companies
You repeated this phrase twice. Don't do it again. Rephrase or revise.

is undeniable ... to their existence namely the forests,
i did not understand this part.
You mentioned paper and then you jumped to local communities, you must elaborate the recycle part then make another body paragraph for local communities.
Jun 7, 2018
Writing Feedback / Social and practical problems abroad without local language knowledge [5]

What is the prompt of this essay?

The last sentence on your 3rd paragraph was a bit confusing. Same with the example you provided.

Base on reading your essay, i cannot quite understand if it asked your opinion or to what extent do you agree. You should put the complete prompt so the contributors will help you review your answer.
Jun 5, 2018
Writing Feedback / The advantages and disadvantages in using bicycles - a popular way of commuting or transportation [NEW]

Some people believe bicycles have a lot of advantages, whereas others believe bicycles have more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion


Some people may argue that bicycles are useful, while others, believe, that they are useless or unnecessary. In my opinion, bicycles have its pros and cons, the use of it somehow depends on the rider.

One of the advantages of using a bicycle is to help people to have an active and healthy lifestyle. Riding a bike can help you strengthen your endurance and can serve as a cardio exercise. It is also helpful to public especially during traffic jams. Driving a car can be a hassle and might take longer to their destination, while using a bike is easier and faster to go through the traffic.

However, because of the bike's structure, most big cars on the road, like trucks and vans, their drivers usually do not notice the bikes coming their way that might lead to an accident, which is the top disadvantage of using bikes. With this, more and more 2-wheeler accidents are on the news lately. Another disadvantage is the price of the high-end bicycles, the light-weight ones, which are used for racing like triathlon, cost twice or thrice the regular price of the basic bicycle.

In my own perspective, every thing has its own advantages and disadvantages, although I believe that using a bike can help people in numerous ways. Physically, riding a bike can be a form of exercise, from young generations to old people, while mentally, staying in control and keeping balance can help you focus in sports and in life, lastly, financial-wise, compared to owning a car, a bike does not need to be pumped by gas or a total makeover that comes with washing which can be financially draining.

In conclusion, bicycles have been accepted as a public way of commuting or transportation, even though some people are still not convinced of its importance, I believe that bikes are more helpful to society than harmful.
Jun 5, 2018
Writing Feedback / Unhealthy activities that most people do and how to change them. [4]

Thank you very much for giving me ideas. Your sentences do sound better. Hope to see you around the thread so I can learn more. I agree that my conclusion is a bit odd or kind of lacking. Again, thank you and i appreciate the effort. ☺️

Thank you for pointing that out, I clearly failed to answer the task question. I will try answering this again with your suggestions on how I represent the body paragraph, although I'm not sure if i'm allowed to do that or post my new essay again. Either way, I'm grateful for still giving me advices despite my poor previous essays. I like to believe that I'm slowly learning. Small steps but moving forward nonetheless. 👍🏼
Jun 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / Unhealthy activities that most people do and how to change them. [4]

Science tells us about the activities which are good for our health and others which are bad. Millions of people all over the world knows this and still do unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is and what can be done to change it?


With this modern day and age, most people still practice activities that are unhealthy despite the knowledge that these are bad for them, such as smoking and alcohol drinking. I believe that one of the reasons is because some bad things feel good that people cannot fight the temptation it brings.

The most commong thing that people do even though it bad for their health and yet they keep doing is smoking. As a health care professional, I know that nicotine that comes with smoking can cause cancer, and yet most of my friends, who are also in medical field, are smokers. It is ironic that health advocates who advice that smoking is bad, are also doing the same thing. My colleagues tried to quit smoking but could not, as they have said, their bodies just crave the smell of nicotine and the high it brings to them.

Another habit that people cannot stop doing is drinking alcohol. Stress is usually the cause of it. Although there is a study that a glass of wine or beer everyday can be considered healthy, millions of people consume more than that on a daily basis. Despite knowing that too much alcohol in our system can result to drunkenness that might lead tgem to actions they will regret, people still intake alcohol like it is water, because for them, beer tastes good and it is fun to get drunk.

Those activities mentioned above are two of the most popular activities that most people do even when it it bad for them. Self-control, I believe, is the best way to avoid this. With that, discipline follows and it can help people to change or stop these bad habits.

In addition, some countries put high prices on cigarettes and liquors as a way to help everyone in controlling the unhealthy activities they do. However, I believe that knowing that something is bad for you should also reflect to your actions and lifestyle. As the famous saying goes, change starts with you.

Thanks in advance for the future criticisms. I hope applied the corrections from my previous mistakes.
Jun 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / Is it essential for new residents to adopt the traditions and customs of local community? [4]


I think the contributor means that you have to specify instead of using 'people', since you are talking about the foreign people, you can use international students or nonnative or immigrants and how they will adopt to the culture.

I do agree that this is a well-written essay, good job with inputting ideas and examples of how important it is to foreign people to learn the local's culture. 👍🏼

I'm curious to learn though, that why is a thumbs-up sign a bad gesture in Australia?