Writing Feedback / HOW TO FIX A BROKEN EDUCATION SYSTEM WITHOUT ANY MORE MONEY [3]

Summary from TED talks

As we know that education is one of the most important aspects to build a prosperous country. Education creats good human resources for the country. Meanwhile, in a developing country like Indonesia there are a lot of educational problems such as a lack of money to support the improvement of teaching quality and quantity. The same problematic cases are also experienced by India.

In India, 11 year- olds cannot do basic ability like construct a simple sentence and most kids are 13-14 year-olds are dropped out from school. It is happen while India's public schools set not only free education but also free books, even free meal as well. More over, parents are prefer to put their children in private schools.

Seema Bansal, an education innovator from India, explained her experience to reform 15.000 schools in Haryana, India. First of all, to addresses the problems she had to make a focused goal. Therefore the goal will be used to measure the result. Second, she had to be aware about the issues : there are no teachers teach inside the classrooms and there is no additional money to make them more trained. Hence, she discussed the problem with her team everywhere and every time. Eventually she found that new simple concept or daily examples make teachers and students more interested. Consequently, she and her team made a concept for each topic in the text books to help teachers teach inside or outside their classroom easier.

Writing Feedback / Orangutan learns to mimic human conversation for the first time [5]

Summary from article

Adriano Lameria, from the University of Durham, UK and his team found that orangutans are able to emulate sound from human conversation. An ape ,'Rocky' who was studied at Indianapolis Zoo in US, between April and May 2012, have produced sounds similar to words in a "conversational context".

This experiment observed for more than 120 orangutans from 15 wild and captive pupulations. The procedure of that experiment are by conducted a game where the ape attempted to copy sounds made by human in variation of tone and pitch. That was recorded for more than 12,000 hours. Then, the reaserchers compared the collected sounds. This research proved that orangutans have the potential capacity to control the action of their voices.

Journal reference: Scientific Reports, DOI: 10.1038/srep30315

Link: newscientist.com/article/2099090-orangutan-learns-to-mimic-human-conversation-for-the-first-time/

Writing Feedback / HOW I TEACH KIDS TO LOVE SCIENCE [3]

Cesar Harada is a teacher in Harbour School, Hongkong. He has succeded to improve the way of teaching science to the kids.

Here they are his way:

First of all, he let his student imaginations wrong and wild becouse children has unlimitted ideas.
Whereas, his job are to collect, combine and make those imaginations to be workable.
Then he let students to participate in a experiment .
All the invention are based on local problems. Children think of those problem, imagine, and make the solutions.
He set an industrial mega-space to be his classroom because he want to provide a larger place for the students to make their dreams come true. In there, not only students but also adults can play and study together.

His goals are to prepare young generations who cares about enviromental problems and to preserve their imaginations that needed to invent the solutions.

Link: youtube.com/watch?v=jAemh_JxgOk

Writing Feedback / Just a few hours' exercise a week makes your heart grow bigger [4]

Keeping fit is one way to get healthy life. Nowadays, modern lifestyle has brought negative impact to human heart. For example, there are many people who dies from hearth attact. It should be caused by consuming too much junk food and doing less exercise.

However, in fact people only need three hours per week to have better heart condition. Declan O'Regan at Imperial College London and his team discovered that doing three or more hours of exercise a week can have larger hearts too - and may be misdiagnosed as having a heart condition. This research was done by scanning 1096 people who had healthy hearts. They found that, on average, the more exercise they did, the larger their hearts were.

People who did as little as three hours of exercise a week have 2.4 times larger left ventricle and 4.4 times larger for those who exercised for between 3 and 5 hours a week.The right ventricle was 1.7 times more likely to be enlarged in people who did 3 to 5 hours' exercise a week, and 9.1 times more likely to be bigger in people doing more than that.

O'Regan said that change of heart shape and size could lead to a misdiagnosis for heart conditions.

newscientist.com/article/2100358-just-a-few-hours-exercise-a-week-makes-your-heart-grow-bigger/

Writing Feedback / Polio back in Nigeria two years after being wiped out in Africa [4]

Nigeria has faced polios since along time. In 2012, the country accounted for more than half of all cases globally. Immunization is encouraged by the government to eradicate the virus. Nigerian government has a strong collaboration with WHO's polio eradication programme to abolish polios. That huge public health effort has overcome the problem for two years lately. It can be seen by only 21 wild polio cases have been reported so far this year, compared with 34 at the same point in 2015, and WHO has been predicting that the virus will be completely eradicated by 2019.

Unfortunately, in this year, two cases were reported. It was caused by complacent reactions from the government. However the overriding priority has been given to all children around the affected area immediately. The government wants to ensure that all the local children have been immunized.

newscientist.com/article/2100902-polio-back-in-nigeria-two-years-after-being-wiped-out-in-africa/

Writing Feedback / The best kindergarten by Takaharu tekuza, ted talks [2]

Takaharu tezuka is one of the architects who design this kindergarten in Tokyo, 2007. That is a cylcle unique building with a large playing roof. This building is only 5 metres tall.

Mr. Tezuka believes that five years old children want to more and more time to play. Therefore this kindergarten is desinged with a handrail and a net sticking out from the edge of the roof and some trees popping through. More facilities are leg washing place and classrooms. It was constructed as a completely open places because he doesn't want any hiding corner for children.

Mr. Tekuza and his team consider that this building should help children to learn about social interactions and the way to survive. Hence this is a place where there are a lot of noises in order to encourage students to talk to others and show up their own ideas. This is also a place with few posibilities of dangerous because children needs some injures to learn how to survive in their live and to help each other.

Writing Feedback / Most people use a private transport to enjoy their vacation in New Zealand [4]

IELTS writing Task 1 - International Visitors to New Zealand: transport used during visit

The provided bar chart show what transport chosen by visitors while visit New Zealand. The highest level of visitors use car. the second choices are plane and coach and others go by train and both.

Just under 70 per cent of the foreign visitors use car to enjoy their vacation in New Zealand. However, there are the same rate for visitor who use plane and coach, more than 30 per cent for each. While 20 per cent visitors use train in New Zealand and just under 10 per cent visitors use boat for their holiday transport.

Tn the conclusion, most people use a private transport to enjoy their vacation while others who are accounted for more 80 per cent choose public transport like plane, coach, train and boat.

Writing Feedback / Living in a small community allows to build a common bond and safe neighbourhood [4]

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

In past, most people lived in different situation with most people who live in the modern era because they live in smaller communities. There are some advantages and disadvantages to live in those circumtances.

First of all, in small area societies aware with each other, they know who are their neighbours well. Therefore, they should always give attention to everyone in their area. Second, living in small villages is saver than in cities because these are enough security guard to protect those areas. Hence, there should be hapenend an increasing of crime rate .

However, there also several disadvantages to settle in little villages. First, it is time consuming because people have a social responsible to maintaining their relationship to neighbours, therefore, it can be offend their own bussiness. Secong, people may have limitted acces out of their communities. The reason is they only have few colleagues in other places.

To sum up, living in small communities allows for better society and saver enviromental security. In the opposite, people in a smaller areas have to deal with uncomfortable individual privacy and limitting of the more extended connection.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Practice test - purpose and destination of visit abroad by UK residents [2]

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destination over the same period.

The provided tables show the information about the intention and destinations of Britain people traveling abroad during five years. Overall, most people went to holiday abroad and the most popular destination was Western Europe.

The first table reveals that visiting abroad for holiday was the most common plan because from 1994 it was accounted for around 15,000 persons and up to 2,000 persons in 1998. Other intent was to go to work and to visit colleagues that were made for around 2,000 to 3,000 persons in that periode. While for uncertain purpose was considered as the least for just around 1,000 persons for the given time.

In the similar way, the number of visitors were increased that was about 19,000 travelers in 1994 and for more than 24,000 travelers in 1998. Meanwhile Western Europe was more famous than North America. It compared 20 : 1.

In conclusion, the greatest number of travelers from the great Britain visited Western Europe to enjoy vacation and in the fact it increased from 1994 to 1998.

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Writing Feedback / Working or traveling before starting the studying has pluses and minuses to be considered by youths [2]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In the space time from the end of high school to the begining of university, teenagers in several countries go to work or a vacation. Both of them have some benefits but in the opposite, it should be considered by the adolescents.

In that changed period, immature people have more leisure time because their routines are going to change. Therefore, if they decide to do somethng in that period such working or traveling they can get some positive output. Firstly, those who decide to work may have new job experiences that should train their skill. Moreover, they become independent because they may earn money by themselves. Secondly, if they determine to go to somewhere they also may have some meaningful journey. They can learn something new like to be more grateful and more mature person. Beside that, having a journey can make them refresh and reenergizing because they enjoy new atmosphere and meet numerous new persons.

However, every decision has risks. Although deciding to get a job and go to somewhere are good choices they have some disadvantages. The first one is devide their consentration about academic study because while do the other activities young people may decrease their memories about their related subject. Therefore, it may affect their accievement in the university. Another reason is when someone have been independent or can earn money they don't want to study any more.

To sum up, working or traveling before starting the study at university has plus and minus to be considered by young people.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WTITING TASK 1: how journey times in a city centre changed after improvements were made to the [4]

The table and bar chart show how journey times in a city centre changed after improvements were made to the transport network, and the costs of using different forms of transport in the city.

The table shows how long it took to travel around a city before and after transport network was improved. The bar graph shows how much it cost to travel different form of transport in the city.

The best improvement of time duration was experienced by tram. It fell from 22 minutes to only 16 minutes. In the similar way with tram, bus became faster than before although it still took 23 minutes. Meanwhile, the fastest transport before the advancement, taxi, became slower by decreasing 3 minutes. However, taxi still the fastest vehicle to travel in the city.

Meanwhile, the bar graph reveals that taxi was the most expensive form of transport because it costed for nearly Є1.80. In the folowed list was car that spent about Є1.00. While tram and bus were cheaper. They took only Є0.40 and Є0.20.

To sum up, after the refinement of transport network tram witnessed the most significant improvement in time of journey in the city and took more economically budget. While, taxi was still the fastest transport but it was the most expensive among others.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Agree and disagree with the effect of modern communication to social lives [2]

modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend to see their friends. this has had a negative effect on their social lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Modern technology has reformed human communication system dramatically. Most people believe that it brings negative impacts on social interactions. However, I argue that technologies make less quantity on human interactions because there are more positive impacts from the revolutionary technology.

In the past, people had limit access to interact with other people in the other area. They, therefore, built good relationship in a small community. In contrast, nowadays a great number of electronic inventions have allowed people to establish an extended relationship. As a result, they can communicate with their friends abroad by internet applications such as skype, facebook, line and so on. Moreover, i believe that modern communication can help people to maintain their social interactions because at the moment people have faster movement. Therefore, they actually need such technology to keep thei friends in touch. I cannot imagine how people at this time can live without the technology to communicate each others.

In other hand, I insure that a technology can be useful depending on their user but people who use modern communication may forget to have an interaction with their friends beside them. For example, someone does not want to make a conversation with people they met in a train or a bus. Therefore, they become careless with strangers and too busy with their gadgets.

In conclusion, using modern technology to communicate can build extended social interactions and better relationship. However, they also should pay attention to other people around them so that they may have great social lives in modern era.

Writing Feedback / What Islam really says about women: TED summery [3]

According to Alaa Murabit, as a young moslem woman she never thought that God judge women differently based on gender because her parents also have never discriminate her.

When she lived in Libya during the revolutionary, she found that women were included to make the policy. Their aspiration, their opinion were respected. But after that, they came back to their own position. However, She wants that situation can become permanent condition. Because she believes that Islam gives women the same position as men. Then she gave an example for an innovative woman ,Khadijah r.a. She was a woman who had an important position not only in economic system but also in millitary, and political system. Therefore, she and her organization have demonstrated the woman right in Libya, they came to every school, every building even every mosque. Eventually, for the first time the local imam in Libya promoted the right of women.

She believes that women should have equal positions as men because their participation can make an enormous changes worldwide.

Writing Feedback / Intel Reinvents Itself to Stay King in a Changing World [3]

Intel is one of the biggest computer company around the world. Nowadays there are a number of similar factory as Intel and as the result, Intel have faced a global competition. In order to win that competition, Intel is reflecting its product to prove that it can build cheaper chips that can accelerate any modern technology. In the market, people moved from only classic CPU to ordering Internet services and by the time, Internet services have been encouraged to be faster.

To reach their ambition, Intel have established some cooperation with other companies. One of the companies is Altera, a programmable chip company. Intel spent 16.7 billion US dollars to gain it. As the result, it helps the Microsoft search engine, inside Bing. Another company is Nervana ,a startup building chips, which helps Intel to analyze plenty data. Also Intel cost 408 million US dollars for Nervana. This actions have been taking to ensure that their Internet services become faster to hold on both online services and post-CPU workloads.

wired.com/2016/08/intel-remakes-changing-world/

Writing Feedback / The Panama Pepers exposed a huge global problem [4]

TED summary

David Palmer from global Witness elucidated a great number of data exposed by The Panama Papers on April, 2016. To uncover those unclear problems, he and his organization conducted an investigation. They positioned theirselves as clients and banks that want to establish an erroneous company so that they discovered how it works and operates.

Many rich and powerful persons have used Panama Papers to concealed their asset and wealth to avoid high taxes. As a result, they spend less money contributing to public services such as healthcare, road and education. This revealed scaldal has caused diverse public reactions. However, most societies have not understood about this phenomena.

Starting at the moment David and Global witness have encouraged a lot of people around the world to aware and stop the secrecy of those hiding their money illegally because it can caused more tax avoidance, corruption and money laundering