Writing Feedback / Brad Pitt Cleared in Child Services Investigation [4]

The inquiry of determining whether there was crime acted by Brad Pitt towards his own son remained clear without any charges. The Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services tried to seek the truth regarding this case, which occurred to his child during the flight in mid-September and found non-guilty evidences. However, this momentum used by his wife, Angelina Jolie, to condemn this issue to seek sole custody of her children. In responses towards her action, the court agreed with Pitt to make it joint custody rather than single childcare right. Even though the regulation to conduct joint custody has not published yet by the court, the process will remain unpredictable

Writing Feedback / Ted - Kio Stark: she told about her experience after conversing with foreigners [2]

Ted - Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers

To begin, she told about her experience when talking to strangers, which she recorded in video to identify that event. She taught that our senses towards best intentions which include liberation and intimacy should be accessed rather than fears. Those things should be followed with rules which were civility and privacy, which differ in every continent of the world. Overall, this talking to stranger would be good to have narrating experience with others, while unexpected connection could be built up at the same time which should be learnt and copied by our young children to create change in society.

Writing Feedback / The propotion of elder people aged 65 and over in three different countries [3]

The proportion of elder people aged 65 and over in three different regions of world is illustrated in the graph recorded since 1940 and predicted until 2040. Overall, USA and Sweden are tightly closed in numbers, whereas the trend itself showing upward.

Since 1940, the gap difference between USA and Sweden were about 3 percent that led by USA of 10 percent. It then continued to narrowed each other while they were both increased gradually for the next 5 decades, before they initially intersected together at 15 percent. Whereas Japan also seemed closed at beginning with Sweden about 2 percent differences, in forward to fluctuation that happened in 2000.

After the intersection, Sweden has been increased dramatically till the present and is predicted to reached 25 percent in 2040, while USA seemed constant before it will sharply increase in 2020 to reach a peak close in 2040. However, the percentage of old people from Japan has been steadily increased to 8 percent in present days and will rocket up between 2020 to 2040 reaching about 28 percent.

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Writing Feedback / An enthusiasm level after two new music sites emerged on the web [2]

The graph represents the information of visitors who search upon two latest music websites in two weeks. Overall, the both figures show upward trends whereas the web users more preferred to access pop parade rather than music choice.

To begin, the difference gap between pop parade fans outweigh the number of musical lovers who started at 40000, by 80000. For the next 3 days, while web visitors who accessed music preferences decreased to half, raised up to 60000 and back again to 20000, the pop parade seemed remained constant and fell gradually at 4th day. It continued to step down to 60000 and then slight rose before sharply decreased by approximately 20000, which had been followed by musical enthusiasm in the end of the first week.

The second weeks showed uprising level of web users who visited pop parade to reached 1600000, even though the numbers did remain stable between 12 and 13 days, whereas musical viewers firstly fluctuated during early 4 days before the number increased dramatically to 1200000 and reduced sharply about 40000 viewers.

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Writing Feedback / Modern communications mean that it's no longer necessary to write letters [2]

Modern communications mean that it's no longer necessary to write letters.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the past, letter is the main way to communicate with each other before telephone exist. I strongly disagree that the invention of telephone is replacing the function of letter, instead it enhances the use of writing letter by providing immediate response from recipient and reduce the cost to deliver message as the letter is only use to address formal occasion these days.

It is true that writing letters is not occurred these days, necessarily to submit formal purpose. Those official reasons require letters as the old-fashioned way is important to prove the document legally according to law. As a result, writing letter is still valuable even if the modernization in communication is exist. This has been proved by the research of documents related to authorization from president to cabinets since old days until present days, which use formal letter rather than letter typed with computers. Even though the occurrence of using letter is still present, I completely think that replacement to computerized communication take less time to receive answer during daily conversation with other people and the cost of delivery will be cut down drastically.

With purpose of shifting the habit of writing letter to updated communication, there are two benefits of this change. The means of writing letter does not replace by modern communication, instead it is modified to increase efficiency of time consuming in waiting the response from recipient. Online chatting is one example which show how the message can be improved by narrowing time need responses, which is necessary to make fast decision, for instance, the conducting heart resuscitation by nurses when doctor is not in hospital can be done through phone call at that moment. Another thing that worth to upgrade the habit of writing letter is cutting fees of delivering the letter, which implement in modern communication. It is undeniable that price to send a letter is quite expensive compared to online chat. By improving it to online chat, the budget of sending letter can be drastically reduced even though the price of smartphone is costlier than sending letter. So, the means of writing letter gets modified to developed communication in terms of time required to send the message as well as the delivery cost.

All in all, it is generally not acceptable that the means of writing has been changed in formal way, however it gets modified to efficiently decrease time required and money spent to send the message.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 - the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain [NEW]

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods

The bar chart shows the information about the amount of budget spent on fast food weekly, while the line graph illustrates the trends of expenses in junk food in the United Kingdom during two decades. Overall, people who earn high income dominated the expenditure of fast food with the exception of fish and chips In this case, except pizza, the consumption of fast food experienced an upward trend.

To begin, people who earn high salary often spent on hamburgers that showed at 40 percent, while other junk foods were only bought below 20 percent. Besides, 33 percent of people with moderate revenue, which twice as much as people with low salary bought hamburgers rather than other junk foods. However, for middle income people, fish & chips was the alternative for them who did not prefer hamburgers, with one by four percent funds.

In line graph, in the first decade, the expenditures of fish & chips and hamburger increased GRADUALLY, whereas pizza fell drastically from 300 to 200. Furthermore, pizza got intersect with fish and chips at 200 in 1980, while intersection between pizza and hamburger occurred at 200 in 1985. After those intersections among them, the fish and chips exceeded drastically TO 500 and hamburger just increased slightly to almost 300. In addition, pizza started to decrease gradually since 1980 and increased slightly after 1985

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Writing Feedback / The only way to enhance the safeness on roads is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders [2]

The only way to improve the safety on road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The secure road is possible if disciplinary regulations are obeyed by driving offenders. This essay would strongly agree with such an idea as people will aware of these policies and follow them as well as prevent congestion of the road.

When negotiation of strict regulation of traffic is been solemnly decided by government and citizens, the people tend to directly concern in the process of implementing this policy. This reason is the punishment given by the government has a big impact towards them, especially offenders, who feel difficult to follow those rules. This results in the numbers of car accidents being decreased dramatically from 60 to 30% in less than a month according to Australian researches that illustrate how tight regulation of normalization of traffic exert impact to change the way people behave on roads.

Furthermore, the erratic traffic conditions are created if policies already establish. The reason is road users tend to disobey the traffic light to catch up on time to reach destination, which lead to mess of heavy congestion in every corner of the city. This has been scientifically proved through evidences of heavy congestion caused by impatient road users that show over 80% of people will break the traffic rules in developing country, where the regulation has not been yet addressed, while only 25% of road users in modern country broke the regulation.

In summary, public awareness to road policies and manage the congested roads are main reasons to implement the disciplinary rules as soon as possible. It is highly recommended to increase the fines regularly based on increase of offenders of road regulations that are show from number of accidents and duration of congested.

Writing Feedback / The smoking ban policy would prevent people from suffering diseases and create a clean environment [6]

In some countries, it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

In several countries, the government bans smokers to smoke in public places. This essay would completely agree with such an idea because this policy would prevent people from suffering serious diseases and create a clean environment.

Prevention to develop severe diseases is by stop smoking as soon as possible. The reason is nicotine of cigar that is known to be main chemical inducer of the progression of acute diseases towards severe condition. Most researchers have conducted evidence based studies that cover the topic of effect of stop the smoking in improving respiratory diseases. The result show that almost 95% of people who suffered acute respiratory diseases improved their health since they stop smoking and 75% of them are rarely had tendency to progress the cancerous development.

Another consideration of why prohibition of smoking in public areas should be supported as providing some healthy surroundings is vital to everyone. This is because by cutting down on smoking habits, the urban environment would be as healthy as mountainous sceneries so that people tend to relax while they stay anywhere around the city. For example, the survey conducted by colleagues to seek the satisfaction of people who wait for public transport found out that almost 70% reasons to hurry up entering the public transport is caused by smoker who burn up its cigarettes at the middle of crowd.

In general, restriction of smoking in public places should be done as the harmful chemicals inside them can be prevented entering to body, while the harmonization of enjoying public areas can be felt by people when those places are smoke-free one. Nevertheless, it is predicted that not only clean environment can be created, but also the prevention of global warming would be reduced as carbon contain substances also decrease.

Writing Feedback / There are several people who like to achieve excellence in facing work tasks, and enjoy their job [3]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?

Some people have a tendency to work at same company everyday only to earn money. This essay would deny with such an idea as except money, the working experience as well as the personal satisfaction are the reasons why they keep working all day in the same workplace.

It is generally believed that earning wages is not as satisfied as having experiences in different situations during office hours. The reason for this is that workers spend all-day in same workplaces to analyze any tasks, decide their solution and execute through actions based on their decision, which indirectly have exposed them to different challenges. For instance, there are almost 50% of workers out of 1000 workers who feel happy while working in the same office as they get numerous variations of experience even though they already have potential in solving some of them according to survey in well-known company. It is true that experience in unfamiliar workplace is as important as money needed to keep their lifestyle.

Aside from what is explained above, personal joyfulness is more likely to be the reason why people do their job sincerely. This is because doing job over and over again seems bored to most officers who already have enough income and experiences. Therefore, they tend to enjoy either what they have chosen to work or unexpected occupation they had. In 2009, national survey that analyze the aim of people working showed most of old people aged 40 and above were working for emotionally fulfillment rather than having luxurious accommodation. It is undeniable for people working in the same place for personal satisfaction reason.

To conclude, not only money-oriented officers who are generally occupying the total workers in the office, but also there are several people who like to achieve excellence in facing work tasks as well as feel enjoyment in their occupation. This is because learning the ways how to handle their jobs require effort even if they already understand them, while bored feelings towards work may change in a way how they should feel happy about it. In addition, it is predicted that other reasons, such as, insurances and pension are aimed by workers to do their job in similar company.

Writing Feedback / Busy parents say that it is the best way to take care kids in child care center [2]

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Busy parents say that it is the best way to take care kids in child care center, while others prefer to let their family members to nurse their children. In child care center, child expertise help in nursing their children with guarantee of their services, while the family attachment from family members has big impact on children closeness to their parents later which I believe is the most consideration aspect among all.

It is known that child care centers are the place where pediatrics, nurses and child psychologist gather together to provide services to nurse children, by assuring their food consumption, learn method based on their ages and sleeping comfort. The reason why they need to be trusted as they are facilitated by that expertise in child management and have refunded system if parents are not happy. The Child Care Management of Australia government released list of child care providers which are already registered according to high quality standard, stated that 97% of child care center in Australia already meet the requirements. Furthermore, it also stated that 90% of parents already feel passionate with child care management. It is undoubted that child care center has capability of replacing the position of parents in taking care children.

On the other hand, the interaction between children and family is strongly suggested as the children is developed sense of security towards their relatives. This is an urgent decision need to be taken by parents as soon as they aware of less intimacy with their children, which later influence children to feel abandonees by their parents. Besides, the child care providers cannot provide that attachment to the children as strong as family do. The professor from University of Chicago told that most of cases why children turn to have bad records in their future life was because they have lack of attachment towards families who put their children in child care services during their childhoods. Then, the psychologist from Harvard proved the research again and get almost 75% of robberies, terrorist and murderers were lonely in their childhood days. By this fact, it is clear that children feel insecure towards family and need rather to be cared by them than by child providers

In conclusion, child care center has insurance to take care of children by providing child expertise to look after them, while family bonding between children and parents are stronger if family members care about them when their parents are at work. It is best if family members become the chosen one who take care children so that when they grow up, they recognize and feel friendly as well as secure with them.

Writing Feedback / A class with huge number of students have limited capability to observe them individually [3]

When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?

Instructors being responsible for a class with huge number of students have restricted capability to observe them individually. From this problem, educational authorities have an obligation to divide students equally based on their capability and help the school officers to train teachers to handle those students.

School teachers have right classified their students to different grades based upon personal achievements. As the student has its own way to learn subject, teacher manage them by matching with other students and assist them individually if they can get along with their friends. Study group is one of most effective way to let student actively learn subjects with each other and can maximize teacher attention towards every student during discussion. For instance, the learners who really know the subject should be equally divided in every group so that the incompetent students in group can be positively influenced by them, while teacher can easier observe specifically to every student progress on group discussion. Besides, special attention should be given to students who have struggled during the matching program, especially in group discussion. The reason is teacher recognize well their capacity and know how to offer them with best solution. For example, there are 10 out of 50 students who have marked low score during test. They are grouped together during free session and get extra training to catch up with class.

Furthermore, training educators are essential to develop and refresh their knowledge in teaching during class. Every year many schools accept hundred new students with various background, which can be from religion schools, aboard school, bilingual school and boarding schools. By refreshing the method of teaching as well as educated motivation, those learners are expected to follow the new system in new school with help of well-trained teachers. It can be seen that in every country that teacher have monthly seminars to enhance their teaching skills and get new information about national curriculum.

In conclusion, grouping students based on capabilities by school staffs as well as enhance teacher competence are best solutions to overcome the problem. It is recommended to seek other methods to enhance student personally in big class, such as, give handout of subject overview before class and give slides after the class over.

Writing Feedback / Moving industries and business to regional area for decrease congested spots and create fresh air [2]

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and business to move to regional area outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages

The industries and business are reassured by the government to freely relocate their factories in suburban area. although this will add transportation cost burdened by the workers, the gradual decrease of congested spot and create of fresh air in the city will far outweigh any drawbacks.

In the workers point of view, the obstacle to reach the factories is the main concerned not to move the industrial buildings. The reasons for this are the unsatisfied pay cheque from the factories and unsuitable living condition, for instance, health care facility and kid schools for family, which becomes the strongest arguments of workers to settle nearby to new places. Consequently, they have to spend more money on transport to get there. This has been suggested by a phenomenal scientist, known as Prof. Dylan from University of Oxford, who conducted research to compare reasons of budgeting before and after the movement. He found that over 85% labors were burdened by the cost of transportation because of inequality in amount of salaries between them and terrified to get into new neighborhood. However, this problem would not be main concern as fast and affordable public transportation linking the factory spot and worker's home has been provided in most cities.

However, it is known that the traffic jam would be steadily fallen as well as clear of polluted gases in the city are truly worthwhile effect when the industrial buildings are moved away from city center. As the production of factories are depended on the flow of transportation from and to exchanges areas, such as, airport, harbor and train station, clearing a way is vitally required to prevent collision with offices and residential areas. Furthermore, the ease of fumes released by vehicles are at critical risk that need attention in close-up as the climate change is getting worsen. Therefore, the United Nation has taken a step to gather data related to beneficial effect in industrial development of developing countries that showed drastic improvement of highways and a downward trend of global warming after shifting factories to side way city. This means relocating factories and business center has many advantages and outweighs its drawbacks.

To sum up, the troublesome for workers to go to work is not outweigh the beneficial of declining of number of traffic spot in the city and allowing fresh breeze flowing inside the city, which is free from fumes. I would personally suggest that transportation issue can be resolved by authorities as soon as workers agree to move the factories; Besides, it should not be obstacles for people anymore to have conducive environment in city.

Writing Feedback / Online PC games as a way to deliver essential information regarding educational subjects [2]

Some people think that online computer games are useful for children, while others claim are bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer games for children?

There are some people who believe that children should play online computer games as they gain a lot of benefits and less drawbacks, while some of them also hesitate to agree with the statement. Although some of the program in online pc games are meant for educational purpose with no erotic contents, the possibility of physiological effect, such as, addiction towards games and affection of game contents is still became the main drawback needed to be recognized by parents.

Internet based games that contain few of inappropriate images, video and sounds are quite popular among children. As the technology of media has growth rapidly, the era of delivering knowledge shifted from text books to internet based games, which are relatively easy to access as well as understand by children at home. According to Australian researchers, the games connected to internet have big roles in children's brain development while learning new beneficial contents. Those contents are composed by tremendous vocabularies and mathematical patterns which somehow showed a significant increase in sending neurotransmitter in child brain that lead to activation of memory skills. Furthermore, they found that almost 75% of children these days in Australia have achieved good marks in their studies, especially subjects related to numeric and problem-solving. As the whole types of games are not dominated by inappropriate and uneducated contents, playing games are as safe as reading books if they seek new knowledge.

However, most games, especially online game has strong affection towards children's behaviors and remote their awareness to play repeatedly. The reason is mainly as game maker who design the entire game create the system which cannot be done once, need to be finished several times to achieve rewards in the game, which often encourage children to be addicted. Besides, the hazardous scenes or violent language become another parental disfavor to allow playing online games. The researchers from University of Vancouver have questioned whether engaging in game for 24 hours for a week has similar impact physiologically than player who play for 3 hours for 2 a week. As a result, they found that most children are prone to eagerly redo the same game and memorized the harsh vocabularies, which are ensured by filling questionnaire of words that are said by the main character in the game. By this fact, it is strongly suggested that addiction towards game and become violently in speaking language are real.

In summary, online games can be better choice to deliver essential information regarding education subjects, while psychological affection towards game and desire to play it repeatedly are undeniable drawbacks of playing them. it would be better if parents can limit the time exposure of their children to play games to earn the beneficial information as well as psychological effects.

Writing Feedback / The World of Work - people no longer rely on taking one job for life. [2]

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?

In development of career work, there has been a growing trend of having more than one job for life among people. The socio-economic factor, for instance, the money required for accommodation and children needs forcing people to do so, in consequence both parents have to work in another place to sustain their requisite and limit the shopping budget.

The living cost to raise kids are increasing day by day, especially necessity to pay their tuition fees as well as to support their living, such as, foods and accommodation. Children education cost, which need to be paid as they enter school will get higher as they upgrade their grades. Besides, parents also have to spend almost half of their salaries every month that become troublesome if they do not earn enough. Scientifically, the researchers also have shown parents paid more for children's schools, which are illustrated by ratio of 4 to 1 of higher education compared to lower education. Furthermore, to cover up eating and living costs, parents firstly have to consider as they will start raising family. It is not an easy decision for parents to earn enough money for their family because every country has its own calculation to fulfill family's requirement to live there. Scientists also conduct research about effect of country's living cost to family's decision to raise kids. It is clearly proved that people tend to raise family in low income country with minimum $200 per capita rather than high living fees countries of more than $1000 per capita.

Therefore, there are two possible solutions to overcome those problems: every parent has to have two or more occupations and cutting down unnecessary budgets to live. In some countries, such as developing countries, family still can sustain its living fees depended on single worker such as, father or mother only. On the other hand, in modern countries, both parents, including dad and mom, have to work in two places so that they can double their earning for family. It is highly correlated to latest research from China that illustrate the increase of living cost will affect to behavior of family to earn money two times higher than usual by both parents seek for more than 1 job, which are shown almost 65% among all population to adapt this change. While every member of family has its own purpose to buy after getting salary, he has to prioritize his necessity to its budgeting list. By reducing of buying something unintended thing, he can allocate his fund to support family needs, for example, house and children's tuition fees. A psychology professor from Harvard University do the research of effect between before and after allocating budget. Most parents feel more satisfied after they do allocation of budget to pay off family need rather than before the allocation, which is caused by the fulfillment of every family member than personal satisfaction bring harmonize to family.

In conclusion, socio-economic factor is the most common reason why people tend to do more than 1 job as the urgency of children's need, including school fees and accommodation. Consequently, every parent has to work double than usual and cutting down unwanted necessity from their budget list. It is recommended for every family to work optimally, whether choose company which give higher salary or both parents have to work together as every country will raise their income per capita every year depended on economic growth.

Writing Feedback / What problems are associated with global warming and what are some possible solutions? [2]

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?

In 21th century, human is confronted with the most menacing issue of greenhouse gasses, affecting the increase of sea level that undoubtedly frightened everyone. Reducing the size of continent lands is the major problem related to this phenomenon. however, controlling human populated in city as well as managing water flow are the possible solutions to be taken.

Erosion of land by sea waters is at alarm stage which mainly resulted from the decrease size of ice continents and lack of plant absorbing water. The climate change increase the temperature in artic region which consequently increase amount of seawater of ocean. Then, seawater will overcome the seashores level and take away inch by inch every day. besides, the plants that hold the seawater on beach sides are outnumbered with body amount of water which keep flush away the lands. These have been demonstrated in artificial event in computer and have been lively recorded in decreasing of total size of land by scientist since early of this phenomenon.

Therefore, all stakeholders in every corner of the world while attending General summit of G20 have offered 2 possible solutions, which are categorized as immediate plan to prevent the total loss of continents. Taking over the human congested in every city, which means as dividing the people equally in every city, not focusing people in particular cities only. For example, Jakarta, the most congested city of Indonesia, need to be managed on its human resources so that stabilizing land capacity would be done to reach its maximum limit. Besides, water management, such as, building dam and build reservoir across every city in the world, would be outstanding if it combines with human management. Most scientists from university of Harvard also agree that planning and executing to build water management should be involved in human management, which have been agreed by correspondence of their numerous researches regarding the most effective way to overcome the water rising caused by climate change.

In conclusion, decrease size of lands is rising alert all over the world, while managing human resources as well as water are major solutions so far. It would be better if the cutting down of carbon emission is implemented to cut the cycle of global warming