Writing Feedback / Silkworm and Silk cloth diagrams (Writing Task I) [3]

The diagrams below shows the life cycle of silkworm and the stage of the production of silk cloths
summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The pictures show the life cycle phases of silkworm as well as the various stages of making silk worm. As it present in pictures, there are five processes in the life cycle of silkworm, from the egg to moth. Then the steps of producing worm to silkworm are five that begin with selecting and ending with weaving.

Initially, the egg is laid by their mother in the leaf for about 10 days until it transform into larva. The silkworm larva survives by consuming mulberry leaf. It takes 4 to 6 weeks from larva to be silk thread and 3 to eight days until it totally transform into a cocoon. The time taken form larva until it becomes moth is quite longer, it is about sixty days.

As it observed in the second picture, cocoons are needed to produce silkworms. It is started with selecting the cocoons then coiling the cocoon. After the cocoons boiled, it is need to unwind the shells for about 30-900 m. Next, shells are twisted then move to dyeing process. The last, the shells are weaved and the dyeing process is needed again in order to make get wet the silk material.

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Writing Feedback / Children should focus on subjects related to their ability [2]

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that children need to join in the art class such as painting and drawing class although they have a lack of interest on it, instead other people argue that it is useless as pupils have to focus on the subject that encourage their skills. While other think that learning art is fun, I am more likely agree that children who do not like art supposed to learn other creative and practical subject that they desire to.

The proponents think that learning art is enjoyable since it is correlated in how children improve their creativity through imagining something. In a class painting or drawing, many young learners are guided to draw a scenery, person, house, or animal. In this case, it attracts children to think deeply on the object they wish to paint and put on the colours on it. The combination of imagination with object and colour that believed being capable of enhancing chidlren's thought. therefore, it is true that art class like painting and drawing can improve children's creativity.

On the other view, people stand to argue that children need to enhance their creativity and practice through the classes that they enjoy. Every child has a different ability that need to be improved in the way they focus on the learning related to their skills. The recent research by Transylvania University revealed that children who focused on their personal aptitude have bigger chance to be success in the years of come than children who join all the subjects in the school. Besides, letting children be taught a subject that they do not love will bring the depth pressure and continuously make them suffer stress.

All in all, I firmly believe that children who lack of interesting in art are not supposed to be involved in the art class since it is not meaningful for them. They need to concentrate in building their creative, practical, and critical thinking on the subject that encourage their ability, thus they will be master on it.

Writing Feedback / Medals earned by the best athletes in Olympic Games 2012 [3]

The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games.

The presented table give information about the number of gold, silver, and bronze medals earned by the top ten countries in London Olympic Games that was conducted in 2010. As the table presented, USA won the greatest medals in total, than Hungary had the least medals than other top ten countries.

United States of America was the most successful country with the total number of medals was 104. Besides, United States also had the greatest gold medals than other countries. In the second rank was China with total number of medals was 88 and 38 golds. Followed by Great Britain and Russia with 29 and 24 gold medals.

There was a significant gap among South Korea, Germany, France, Italy, Hungary, Australia which earn no more than 15 gold medals. However, 13 golds by South Korea, 19 silvers by Germany, 12 bronzes by France, 11 of bronze by Italy, 8 of gold by Hungary, and 16 silvers by Australia as the greatest medals that they got in Olympic Games 2010 in London

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Writing Feedback / Writing Task I, Household expenditure over sixty-year period [3]

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided pie charts illustrate the comparison of expenses in goods and services in the country over six decades. As it observed from the data, the most money spent on housing in 1950, whereas in 2010 there we some significant differences of all the selected categories.

92.1% of Housing was the largest proportion of expenditure in 1950, but by 2010 it decreased dramatically to 22.0%. The second expenditure by people in 1950 was food with 11.2%, however in 2010 money spent on food was rocketed as the highest expenditures of the household categories. In the term of other purposes experienced dramatic increase from 4.4% to 19.0% over the period.

There was no notable improvement in health care and education sectors. Over sixty-year period the expenditure in transportation inclined 2.1 per cent, and education declined 0.3 per cent. The last but not least, transportation was the other sector that showed that significant increase about 10.4 per cent than its percentage in 1950.

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Writing Feedback / Expenditure in five major categories (Writing Task I) [2]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in The United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The presented bar chart shows the percentage of consumers in four different countries spend their money on food, housing, transportation, health care, and clothing in 2009. It is clearly seen that the housing is highest share of expenditure by three countries except Japan. While Britain consumers are the lowest percentage in spending money on health care.

United States was the highest percentage of country that spent their money on housing with 26 per cent. Followed by United Kingdom 24 per cent and Canada 21 per cent. Japanese' expenditure for housing was 22 per cent, 1 per cent lower than their outcome in food.

Share expenditure for food, Japan indicated 23 per cent, United Kingdom was 3 % lower than Japan, the Canada and United States was mainly were almost the same with 15 % and 14 % respectively.

Money spent on transportation illustrated that Canada was 20% as the highest percentage. The second place was 18 per cent Americans. Britons was three per cent lower than American. In the last position for transportation expenditure was Japanese people with 10 per cent.

In contrast, the consumers of four different countries show the lowest shares of expenditure on health care and clothing. In health care, United States (8 %), Canada and Japan (9%), and United Kingdom (2%). Different from heath care, the percentage of spending money on clothing, all selected countries were almost the same, 6% by Canadians, 5.5% by Britain people, 4.5% by Japans people, and American was 0.5% lower than Japanese.

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Writing Feedback / Books perused by Men an Women at Burnaby Library [2]

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The presented line graph shows the total quantity of books being perused by women and men in Burnaby public library over four years. It is obviously seen that the men's reading desire for reading is higher than women despite both of them having an upward trend

In 2011, nearly 4500 books were read by women then the quantity was higher to 8000 in 2012. After that, the number of books that had been perused by women increased about 2000 in the next year. The last, by the end of 2014, the number of books that was read in Burnaby library by women had tremendously declined.to 7000 books.

3000 books enjoyed by the men reader in 2011. Then in 2012, it increased about 1000 books. By 2013, the total books that had been read by men had rose dramatically become 10000 books and it continuously soared until 2014 with 14000 books had been perused by men in Burnaby public library.

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Writing Feedback / Money spend on fast food (Writing Task I) [3]

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.

The presented data illustrates Britain money spend on fast food and the consumption of three kinds of fast food over two decades. It is clearly seen that high income people spend more money in fast food than two other income groups; Furthermore pizza was the only fast food showed an enormous decrease.

Based on the bar chart, 40 per cent per person of high income people spent their money on hamburger than two other fast foods which did not reach 20 per cent. People of average income also enjoyed hamburger with 32 per cent/person, followed by fish and chips 25 per cent and pizza nearly 13 per cent. The last, low income group was the lowest consumers of fast food, pizza was only 7 per cent per person in a week while hamburger was 16 per cent and fish and chips was 2 per cent lower than hamburger.

On the other hand, line graph presented UK consumption of fast food from 1970 to 1990. It showed that hamburger, fish, and chips rocketed significantly which in 1970 they were consumed no more than 100 grams, but by 1990 hamburger reached 500 grams and fish and chips were nearly 290 grams. In contrast, pizza was the most favourable fast food in 1970 with 300 grams, however over twenty years it had dip slightly about 100 grams by the end of 1990.

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Writing Feedback / Problems associated with sea levels and the possible solution [3]

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions

People around the world had been so familiar with the global warming phenomenon and how the sea levels had reached the alarming rates. The flood that is inundated the coastal area is the problem caused by the increasing sea levels and the workable solution to tackle this threat is constructing the flood barriers.

The watery catastrophe had been the acute problem faced by many people. Inundation is the effect of global warming that melts the glossaries and ice caps in Greenland and Antarctica, hence it increases the sea levels and flood is the big impact of it. The devastation of flood forces the people who life in the coastal areas relocating their habitats and surely will cause the poverty of the people. It is shown that the increase of ocean levels that cause flood will bring a dangerous impact for the coastal inhabitants.

The workable solution to prevent the inundation by sea levels is building flood barriers such as floodgates, dams and dikes. It can be constructed along of the coastal areas, thus helps the flood does not reach the inhabitant since the waterways are limited to reach the population areas. This solution had been implemented by Netherland for a long time ago and it totally works to prevent the tidal waves from floodwaters.

To conclude, the retaining construction is such a useful solutions to block the waterways pushing the population area hence the flood caused by the increase ocean levels that becomes the most frighten threat can be prevented.

Writing Feedback / People rely on more than on job [3]

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible cause for these changes and give your suggestion which can be taken in the future?

It is been so popular for people prioritize more than one job in this globalization era. The higher living cost is the main cause of this trend, and I myself believe that the workable solutions to address this issue are becoming different lifestyle and behaving towards this condition.

A human basic need which costs higher every single day is the reason why the workers try to find other jobs to fulfill their life. The primary need that is so crucial to be completed, then secondary and tertiary need that also support people to be hard workers, thus to comply all their necessities and to satisfy their family. These conditions make the employee thinks that rely on one job will never be enough, moreover when they have married and have many children with different needs. The increase of financial support of people surely becomes the possible effect of the work world changing totally different than in the past.

The life style that always encourages people to follow the trend should be decreased since following other people's lifestyle is wasting time and wasting money. In the very common case, when the up to date cell phone is launched, we always dream to have it although we know that our phone now is still perfect to be used. By changing our life to be far from luxury surely will help them to fulfill our primary need. The other solution that can be taken is being accustomed with the changing of the work world that rely on more than one job. The steps that we can do to get used it are being thrift for the gradual expenditure and being behave to spend our time focus on more than one jobs. When people had undergone with the condition of having more than one job, they will be comfortable with it since the have been a part of it.

In conclusion, the increase of living cost supports people to take more than one job to fulfill their need and I firmly believe that the workable solutions for this changing are being unpretentious people and being accustomed of prioritizing more tow or more jobs.

Writing Feedback / The presence of childcare is the solution for some busy parents to take care of their children [3]

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The presence of childcare is the solution for some busy parents to take care of their children. Some people believe that it is such a good idea for parents, but the proponents claim that it is not that good. While childcare cost much money, I firmly believe that it is much better for the pre-school children to be taken care by the family members, hence to tighten the personal relation among them.

Working parents believe that childcare can be the trustful place for children to be when they should do their job. Due to the reason that childcare has licensed trainers who know how to treat children well based on their age group. It also answer the parents' problem who do not have any relatives live near by them. In addition, childcare not only educate children in a fun way, but also guide children to socialize with other people. Children joining childcare will be more joyful since they have new experience to be shared with their parents when they return home. Besides, parents do not need to be worry if they cannot teach their children intensively because the trainer had took their position for it. By all of the complete services given by the childcare is the reason some people prefer to count on it to solve their problem in taking care of their children when they need to work.

On the other opinion said that no one can treat the children better than their family itself. Family member such as grandmother is a trustworthy person who know how to treat children well based on her experience. Family member is the one who will love the working parent's children for granted, hence parents do not need to be anxious as their children will not lack of affection. To illustrate, parents who give their child to be taken care by their mother will be free to control their children by phone every time they wish. Furthermore, about the additional expenditure by their children such as snacks and diaper will be guaranteed by the family member, thus it can be more thrift for parents. A very good relationship will be built when children taking care of the family members than other people who had no blood relation

All in all, pediatric care can be a solution for parent to take care of their children on their busy hours. However, relative's role are more needed since children will be comfortable to be with someone they close to.

Writing Feedback / Large number students in the class don't help them to focus enough [2]

When students are in large classes, it is very hard for the teacher to give every student individual attention. What can educational authorities do about this?

The large number of students in the class is the troublesome situation for the teacher to manage the class. By enrolling new educators and rearrange class management will be the workable solutions that can be implemented by the policy maker in the school.

Adding some teachers in the school is believed can solve the over students in the class. New educators in the school can help to reach the standard quantities students should be in the class. As a prime example, a ratio of students in each class is 50:1, then when new teachers involved, it can be an ideal ratio such as 25:1 or even 20:1, hence it eases the schoolteachers to do individual attention to the pupils. The school authority should have the standard numbers of the students to know how many educators are needed to handle the classes.

The additional solution to tackle the vast amount students is class management improvement such as making a group discussion regularly and seat arrangement. Group discussion not only helps the educators to be more attentive to their schoolchild, but also it is such a proper way to create hand in hand situation in the group and to build the sense of leadership among the group. While learning in a group enhance the team work of the student, seat arrangement helps the students easily to get the point of their teacher's explanation. In some cases, row arrangement of the chairs shows the lack of attention by the children who sit in the last row than in the first. By organizing the seat into circle, teacher will be easier to monitor each student and student can pay more attention on their teacher.

To sum up, the educational authorities can implement a pivotal solution to address the over quantities students in the class by providing more educators and reorganizing the class management by doing group discussion and seat arrangement in each class.

Writing Feedback / Smokers should find other places to smoke, thus have respect to non-smokers [3]

In some countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that smoking in the public is such a disturbing activity for other people. I firmly agree that smokers should find other places to smoke since this is a respective behavior and it would reduce the risk of people to suffer smoke-related disease.

The smokers should have the big awareness when they intend to smoke since the smoke of their cigarette upset other people. They get to realize that in the public, everybody has the same right to do what they wish. It is obviously seen in the crowd place, when a smokers start to smoke, other people around them start to stay away or close their nose because of the uncomfortable feeling caused by the smokers. The respective behavior to leave the building for the smokers who will flame their cigarette is really needed to help their surrounding breath freely.

Another reason why the smokers should be banned to smoke in the crowd place as to help inhabitant keep fit without suffering any disease related to the smoke such as lung cancer and asthma. The bad effects of cigarette smoke not only harm the active smokers, but also the passive smokers. In addition, people who already suffer lung cancer or asthma make their disease getting worse when the smokers smoke in the same building with them. The diseases affected by the smoke is one of the worrying effects felt by the citizen, hence the smokers should help to reduce the gradual affect by smoking in the right smoking area.

In conclusion, I am completely support in letting the smokers find another place to smoke since it is surely a kind of respective manners towards passive smokers and a risk to suffer smoke related disease will be decreased.

Writing Feedback / TED Summary, Draw your future by Patty Dobrowolski [2]

DRAW YOUR FUTURE

BY PATTY DOBROWOLSKI

Drawing your future is one way show that you take control of your life. By illustrating your own future life will create movement, pull it your hearts, and unite nation. All you need to do is drawing; even you do not know how to draw well. Draw your life now and your life will be then put on the colours and emotions to make you feel that it will be real someday. Everyday when you wake up, you see your picture and you feel hypnotize to do something better, it trains your brain to believe it. As we know that left brain thinks about critics and right brain thinks about imagination, thus you need to see your picture of your currently condition and sent the critics to your left brain hence your right brain attract to imagine something to be more creative. Your brain knows you perfectly well, but you need to guide it by yourself to be straight with your wish.

Three workable steps that lead your wish to be in reality are look at your picture, then believe it that it is surely will happen, and act on it

Writing Feedback / Children are better to spend their golden age by seeking knowledge and not earning money [2]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as a valuable work experience.

children taking a paid work are in the increasing rate in many countries. some people believe that it will be useful for their life in the years of come, whereas other people say that it should not be allowed. while a valuable experience will be obtained by the pupils, i am more likely to emphasize that children is much better to spend their golden age by seeking knowledge as earn money should not be their responsibility.

It is often said that children working while they are studying would gain much more experiences. this is because they are involved with various activities which are highly beneficial for their future life. They have known how to find the solution of their expenditure because they had been a part of it. Besides, children doing a paid job will meet new people who had much worth experience where children can learn from them. In addition, children will gain other precious learning about life such as create the sensitiveness of their surrounding since they know that money is not that easy to be earned, hence it makes them more appreciate for every single things of their life. The under age children will be so influenced by their paid job experience in the years of come.

On the other hand, some people believe that in children age, they should not do any kinds of job as their parents are the one who should earn money for them. In addition, children age should be the stage for them to socialize with their peers by going to school or playing games. Children who working even for part time surely will not focus on their study due to the reason their mind should think about their job which had become their other priority. Child development should be used for seeking knowledge for them to be more preparing about their future as an educated people.

It seems to me that having a job for children is totally unacceptable. Working is not suitable for their age since the working risk will affect their health. In addition, children's mentality should not be forced to think hard , thus resulting in stress suffered by them. Therefore, it is true that children should be encouraged to study solely.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task II, Contributing factors of working in the same company [2]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?

It is often said that salary of the particular company is one of contributing factors making the workers work in the same organisation. In my point of view, there are many other reasons for this trend, such as a comfortable feeling with the colleagues and executive, and the rule applied applied in that company.

It is often accepted that being convenient with the co-workers and the boos is is one of main reasons the employees are loyal to work in the same place more than a decade. Working together with their partners helps them to reach their job prospect well. For instance, people who enjoy working in their workplace encourage them to reduce the great pressure on their work even though they face the huge problem. The present of loyal friends and understanding executive in the organisation is the virtual factor to create loyalty of the employees.

Rules that are applied in the company are the other aspect that helps the jobholders find their soul to work in the same company. Many kinds of flexible law make the interested in their job, such as retirement funds and the free time or holiday. To illustrate, the organisation who gives their workers the constant holiday can be the way for the employees to spend more time with their family. The given clear regulations by the companies are the great motivation to make the workers comfortable with them.

In conclusion, financial reward is not the only part to motivate the employee to be loyal. Humble executives, enjoyable work fellows, and the unburden laws are possible to be the other aspect encourages the people keep working in the same enterprise more than a decade.

Writing Feedback / Games can harm children concentration in studying, but also help them improve their cognitive skills [2]

Some people think that online computer game is useful for children, while others claim is bad. What are advantages and disadvantages of online computer game for children?

The number of children playing games through internet has increased slightly over the years. While such games can wander children concentration in studying, this also helps students improve their cognitive skills.

Playing games causes the children spend much of their time in front of the computer or smartphone and as the result they neglect their homework. Children or even teenager who addict in playing online games will ignore their subject which should be their top priority. It can be noticed that children spend at least two hour in finishing their games which actually they can spend those time to review their materials. In addition, playing games can be such a bad role model for them. Many games contented with bad actions like destroying and fighting, hence it is worried children can imitate it in their daily life.

On the other hand, games also can be an alternative to train children brain. Due to the reason that games are full of strategies to be finished. Playing games can enhance the working of children's brain and teach them to be more creative through problem solving case. Besides, games are the fun way for children to learn foreign language. Most of online games using international language thus force them to understand the language indirectly. Additionally, games influences the way children understand about the enhancement of technology which they do not get in the school.

To recapitulate, online games make the children do not focus totally on their study and imitate the action showed on the games. However, playing games can give a great deal in brain development language acquisition of children.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task II , Relocating giant industries to regional area [2]

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

The giant cooperation is getting larger in the city cent re. One of the solutions given by the authority is to relocate their buildings outside the downtown. While this policy would cause several demerits in relocation point, I do believe that moving the industries to rural area has many advantages than disadvantages.

Pollution is one of the drawbacks when some industries move to remote area. Innumerable vehicles surely will pass outside the city and the high risk of cars and motorcycles pollution makes the quality of fresh air is hard to be found. The increase of population is another demerit of this issue, and the gradual problem will be the increase of crime rate in rural area same as happened in metropolis. Finally pollution and population will be the possible effects if relocation of business and industries dislocated outside the downtown.

Despite this, there are several advantages of moving the giant corporations to remote area. One of the prominent/major benefits is the infrastructure will be developed in regional area such as public transportation and gas station. In addition, displacing big industries to backwater will add many job opportunities for the inhabitants. To illustrate, the local dwellers can apply for a job in the particular organisation that had moved to their place, or even they can make their own job field such as building restaurants and mini markets. Moreover, by taking policy to dislocate industries outside the city centre by the government will ease unbalanced population between the downtown and remote area.

All in all, I do believe that the policy maker should displace such a giant industries to regional zones which it can enhance the living standard of the rural inhabitants and increase the economical earnings of those areas.