Writing Feedback / IELTS: Foreign language instruction should begin in kindergarten [4]


you have written a good essay, but this will be more complete if you put a suggestion in the conclusion paragraph

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children from poorer families are more successful in the future life. [7]


this is too short,
it seems to me that in introduction paragraph, you should attract the reader's attention, so you should put some sentences which are interesting

Writing Feedback / Societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. IELTS [6]

you already wrote as the task wants, you composed well, but try to pay more attention in all parts of your essay, small mistake may become your big trouble if you leave it

Writing Feedback / IELTS: FRESH WATER SUPPLY [7]

here, you have an essay which contains two different opinions, to connect the second and the third paragraph,you should put a connector which is appropriate such as 'however' 'on the other hand' and the others which show contrast

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 : Effects of Technology on people's relationship. [9]

also, in IELTS essay, you should give space between each paragraph
as a result, the readers will not feel confuse to catch your points here

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Old building must be protected by law, not knocked down. [7]



However, some people think that the building must be changed with new buildings.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Maintenance old buildings are for being historical building [5]


you should put comma after 'In a country'


do not put 'and' in the beginning of the sentence

Writing Feedback / IELTS Graph: Most popular travel destinations for UK people [5]


does it a passive sentence?

Writing Feedback / IELTS: dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production [3]

your introduction is too long, don't put any details here,

here, in introduction, you just need to paraphrase the task, then state your position, and try to catch the reader's attention

Writing Feedback / Doing work by machine? Work by hand is always easier, cheaper and eco friendly [8]


pay more attention to your grammar

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Learn by self better than with a teacher [7]

hello, this is IELTS task 2, right?
here, you should write at least 250 words or more, this is the rule, if you wrote less then 250 words, it means that you didn't follow the test's instruction

Writing Feedback / Success is only getting big reward or collecting money or something special [10]

what is the type of your essay?

when you post an essay, you should mention the type as well whether this is ielts or toefl essay,

also, put capital in the beginning of the sentence,

Writing Feedback / IELTS - the reasons why people travel and the benefits of it. [5]

when you post an Ielts task, you should include the task as well, so we will be easier to know what type of your essay is


but the pros it / of it brings to us cannot be denied

Writing Feedback / Talent vs hard-working; importance of environment, desire outweigh any endowment [6]


what statistics? please mention what the statistics is, it may make the readers confuse

Writing Feedback / Government impose heavy tax on air traffic to reduce noise pollution [4]


don't make the readers confuse when they read this sentence, it seems too long, I suggest to separate it become two sentences to make it more clearly, so it will be easier to understand


this is agree disagree question, here you should mention other people opinion whether your opinion is agree or disagree

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Administrations often invest in the art such as music and theater. [8]

Galuh, please give space between each paragraph, it will make the readers easier to understand and catch your points


you missed a verb here

pay more attention to all pars of your essay, so you will not make small mistake that may reduce your score

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Government investment in the arts to make better their country [5]

put some punctuation in appropriate place when needed,
pay more attention to your vocabularies, you should enlarge your vocabularies, make it more various
also, don't underestimate small mistakes such as misspelling, grammatical,capitalization,etc,,
everything is important when you write an essay

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Problems encountered by students in abroad [9]

pay attention as well to your capitalization, don't put capital letter in the middle of the sentence except the name of person,place, etc

it seems a small problem, but it would be a big trouble

Writing Feedback / Many charities can society get if government investment money in arts activities [5]


when you put 'if' you should put a complete sentence after that, it will show the effect of 'if-clause'

also, pay more attentions to the punctuation

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Global warming; warning to humans how importance of environmental concern [2]

be careful to your capitalization, it seems a small mistake, but it may be a big problem for you

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Stress is problem in many countries around the world. [6]

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2:How important is it for students to have homework?? [5]


I think you've arranged this sentence well, but I suggest not to write a sentence too long, here you put more than two connector, it will be better if you separate them to be 2 sentences



Thus the idea of removing homework is completely not supportable

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Happiness - factors and importance; "small gap between birth and death" [12]

as a suggestion, you may put a suggestion to the readers in the conclusion paragraph, it will give more advantages to the readers

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2:Dressing appropriately is important or not?? [7]


you cannot put 'and' in the beginning

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Stress "contributing factors and how to reduce" [3]


just write 'as a result'


try to explain it more, it seems too general, try to make it more specific


are you sure?

Writing Feedback / Culture in my hometown influences the increase cost of wedding party or marriage [7]

when you write an essay here in essayforum, you should write the task of his essay in the beginning, so the readers will easier to know he type of your essay,

also, you should put space between each paragraph to know where you put the general and the details

Writing Feedback / The prons and cons of the Internet [7]

also, you should put the task in the beginning, so the readers will know the type of your essay,

Writing Feedback / What do you think about outsourcing in Indonesia? [3]

when you write an essay, you should put space between each paragraph, so the readers will easier to catch your points. also pay more attention to put punctuation in some appropriate places

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: PAYING TAX OR NOT [6]


this introduction is too short, try to grab the readers' attention by giving an interesting overview/hook

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Common Problems if both parents are working [4]


what does it refer to? I think, here you should put a word/phrase which has a function to start the discussion

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Jakarta - Some people prefer to eat at restaurants than eat at home [6]


here, you cannot put 'so' in the beginning oh a sentence, better you combine with the sentence before

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Different aspects of Globalization; 'Countries are more dependant...' [2]


also, you should pay more attention to some details, you may make some small mistakes such as misspelling, punctuation, and using of article

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: introduce new technology or free education [4]

hello, here you should put space between paragraphs, so the readers will easier to catch your points

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Oil production capacity for several gulf countries [4]

you made many mistakes in grammar, please correct it again

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The world is losing important natural resources. [3]


here,you should put a relative pronoun or we usually call conjunction to connect two verbs there

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Global sales - dvd's, games, cd's over a three-year period [4]


where is the verb?

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Unpaid work "women and men" [5]


when you put relative pronouns 'which' there should be 2 verbs,

Writing Feedback / IELT TASK 2 :TV programmes should be blocked "agree or disagree" [6]


you should combine these sentences become 1 sentence

Writing Feedback / Cambridge IELTS 7 Test 2 Writing Task 2 - "fixed punishment" [5]


be careful with capital letter,


no,this is right, he puts comma after the first sentence to connect to the second sentence (after comma)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Graph: Changes in the birth rates of China and USA [6]


what does the word 'than' mean? it means that there is a comparison.