Writing Feedback / Why do people risk their lives in extreme activities, and do you think this is a good trend? [3]

Several formatting problems can immediately be seen even before the actual essay is read. This will prove to be scoring problems if left uncorrected.

1. Almost 400 words written. The writer has not used a 40 minute timer when writing this essay. Such a word count cannot be achieved in an actual test setting.

2. There is no real prompt restatement + personal opinion presentation at the start. An immediate discussion without a proper introduction was used instead.

3. The response format in incorrect. The expected 4 paragraph discussion presentation was not used in the essay.

There 3 mistakes alone are enough to ensure a failing score. I can't even go into the lexical resource and sentence presentation errors at this point. There are just too many negatives for a single review to complete. There is no passing merit for this essay.

The writer just kept writing hoping that the length will be enough to pass the test. Unless the discussion follows the scoring requirements, the essay will fail regardles of the word count. He simply did not understand the writing instructions as provided. He wrote what he wanted instead, which will lead to a final failing score. Write what you are told to write about next time. Make an effort to read and understand the topic + discussion directions.

Writing Feedback / Check my essay about alcohol abuse. its problems and solutions [4]

The writers opinion in missing from the opening statement. It is important that he offers single sentence responses for each question asked as a part of the prompt restatement. Without the direct responses, his immediate opinion as required by the preliminary task accuracy score will be insufficient as he will have failed to depict his opinion and its basis. The essay could fall short of a preliminary passing score.

Avoid consistently repeating the discussion questions. Provide direct topic responses as paragraph anchors instead. Repeating instructions does nothing for scoring considerations. Do not use slang terms such as


either because this is an academic opinion paper. As such, everyday academic words should be used. Slang should only be used during informal writing.

The discussion paragraphs are quite well developed. These are informative and well supported It is too bad that the reverse paraphrase conclusion was not as well presented to the reader.

Letters / The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation - Motivation Letter [2]

The motivation letter does not have a prompt, which makes writing it difficult. Without guidance, your tendency will be to provide too much information. When that happens, the motivation gets lost in the presentation. That is what happened in this letter. More than half of it is not motivation related. It is too long and over informative in the wrong way. Take it down a few notches. keep the focus on the motivation for the masters course.

Summarize the college background by merging it with your work experience. Doing this will allow you to present an extended motivational reason. Explain the aspects missed by college that affected your professional performance.

Focus on your professional experiences leading into a discussion of what you learned on the job that motivated your desire for higher studies. Show a thirst for learning, from the Italians in this case. Do not be vague about this. Think about the profession and how Italy is a leader in the field. specify the inspiration based an notable names, accomplishments, and university training programs. You have to love the educational system, not just the culture. Prove it.

Scholarship / Describe your motivation to study in Japan and in which field you're interested [2]

This is not an essay that the reviewer will have a tendency to accept. It does not show a real motivation to study in Japan based on academic and personal growth related ideas. A motivation based on anime is unrealistic and ill - applicable. The other motivation is based on tourism ideas. The essay should be deleted. There must be a more targeted essay developed in its place.

Applicants for this program are required to show a strong academic desire to study in Japan based upon clear academic influences leading to a positive career outcome. An explanation as to how this can happen with a Japanese based education is a must. How does the university education for the program differ from your country? Answer that question and you will have a good basis for the new response version.

Writing Feedback / The graph presents how many grams of fish and three types of meat were consumed by European people [2]

There should not be any rush to compress data from the image. The more sentences referenced in the summary overview (3-5) the clearer and more informative it will be considered by the reader. Even if it is easier and possible to refer to all the information in a single breath/ sentence, it is not always a good thing. Such presentations cause GRA errors that the writer may not be aware of. Therefore, it is best to use single idea sentences in the summary section.

The phrase "at the beginning of the period" should be referenced in the trending overview where vague references do not affect information coherence yet. It is best to mention the actual starting year in the analytical paragraph. The comparative paragraphs must always use the data as provided, even if it is only a year reference.

The data for fish was incorrectly referred to as stable. Going forward, it will do your score well to properly reference this type of graph movement as "nominal with no significant changes."

By the way, identify the image accurately next time by type. This is a line graph. Do not rely only on provided data for the summary. It may need correction or clarification in the actual report.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 : Any country should be able to sell goods to other countries without the restriction [2]

The writer tried to exaggerate his restatement and opinion paragraph which led to a less than accurate retelling of the orginal prompt. He also changed the discussion instruction through his diect opinion response. The writer set-up his introduction paragraph for an immediate failing score. The discussion topic is based on an opinion, not a controversy. This is a single opinion agree or disagree consideration. It is not an agree or disagree + advantage v. disadvantage debate. These 2 errors will ensure a failing overall score due to the confusing discussion format.

The approach should have been based upon "I agree with the previous statement based on the advantages of such a practice." or something similar. That opinionpresentation is clear and considered non-prompt deviant because the single opinion explanation has an advantage discussion basis. Both paragraphs after will explain the validity or acceptability of the writer's opinion. That is the main focus of the task.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Do you think the development of technology is positive or negative and why? [3]

The essay meets the word count requirements but not the opinion criteria. The lack of a clear opinion is evidenced by the agreement of the willr in a partial manner with both provided ideas. Such a discussion format is allowed only in an extent comparative essay which is not the format required by this discussion. The writer has accidentally produced 2 problems at this point:

1. A lack of single opinion focus.
2. Incorrect task format.

These mistakes dangerously lower the preliminary score as only partial scores will be awarded in other sections due to the discussion format error. It may cause an overall failing score. The writer must become familiar with more Task 2 discussion types and how to properly approach them to avoid the same mistake in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: THE PASSED DRIVING TESTS RATE [2]

Provide an accurate number for the images given for the comparative report. That plus the correct image identifier should open the summary information. There is no diagram in this case, only 2 bar charts. The incorrect image reference implies both a lack of English word meaning and an unfamiliarity with the task requirements. Both are score deductible.

Avoid the use of direct quotes from the given image as there will be scored as cut and paste elements, even if only a phrase or half a sentence. A cut and paste presentation is prominently seen in the summary presentation. All highlights must be reworded to avoid lower score considerations. Paraphrasing skills through comprehension must be evident in that paragraph.

Majority of the paragraphs should have a more analytical consideration. That is normally found in paragraphs of 3-5 sentences. Combined comparisons such as these do not work as well when considered against real sentence type mash-ups.

Even as I consider these errors and shortcomings of the writer, it is still a good effort. I know he can do better next time.

Writing Feedback / The main factors influencing a child's development these day is social factors or [5]

Always use 2 sentences to present the separate public opinions. Try to mirror the original presentation at much as possible since the idea is to mimic the original presentation. The original is a 3 sentence paragraph presentation. The restatement should number the same so as to maintain task accuracy.

Once you are in agreement with one side of the argument, that is the only aspect you should focus on. The discussion requires a single opinion statement. The next statement needs to be the reason why you disagree with the other side. That helps deliver the clear basis of your opinion. This current presentation may be considered somewhat complete in its current form.

Kindly remember that the most effective way to discuss these views are by:
1. Explaining the valid public reason for the opposing argument then, disproving that by presenting your opinion that disproves the valid public opinion.
2. Explaining the reasons the public supports the 2nd pov. Strengthen the same with your personal opinion.

Sprinkle the reasoning paragraphs with properly placed 3rd person and 1st person pronouns to meet the GRA requirement. The previously suggested response formats are the best and most proper way to gain the most scoring considerations overall.

This piece of writing shows your potential to score well. Use the correct paragraph presentation and you should have better scoring considerations with the next essay.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: The diagram shows the process of chocolate production. Summarize the information. [3]

This is not a flowchart. A flowchart is defined as; a graphic representation, using symbols interconnected with lines, of the successive steps in a procedure or system. The word cannot be used interchangeably with diagram. A more appropriate alternate ward would have been a descriptive chart or outline. These are actual synonyms for a diagram. Be careful with word choices. One incorrect choice can alter the focus of the discussion and cause a failing paragraph score.

There are not enough information within the diagram to warrant a 4 paragraph set-up. This is only a 3 paragraph design. The summary and overview should have been blended into one paragraph. Single sentence presentations are not acceptable as paragraph presentations. It will not geta helpful score.

It is not advisable to say


because the assumption is that the report is detailed enough to be understood without needing to look directly at the image. Always frame these as factual descriptive reports. Do not refer the reader to the image for any reason.


Good information, bad sentence structure. What was the problem? There was no need to start with "first" because the topic sentence did not need it. There was no point in using that format since there was no second or third reference. Use a uniform ordinal next time.

Writing Feedback / The graph shows Japanese people's average monthly salary (thousands of Yen or ¥) from 1953 to 1983, [2]

3 problems in the summary overview alone:

1. An apostrophe or apostrophe S is not used when indicating the plural form of a word. It is not a proprietorial mention.

2. There should be a mention of the Yen, as in thousands of Yen, as the salary currency to clearly indicate the fiduciary value and currency of the salaries.

3. The presentation should have been seperated into several stand-alone sentences to clearly reference the provided information. Run-on sentences do not represent proper simple, complex, and compound sentence variations and cause severe GRA deductions.

There are LR problems as well that show an unfamiliarity with English word meaning and usage:

Wrong: reserve - to keep back or save for future use, disposal, treatment
Right: reverse - opposite or contrary in position, direction, order, or character

Wrong: valuable - having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price:
Right: value - monetary or material worth, as in commerce or trade

Look up the meaning of overwhelmed to understand why it is also a wrong word choice for the sentence. These are but a few of the word usage problems that will result in LR deductions.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] PROBLEMS/SOLUTIONS - UNLIMITED USE OF CARS [2]

The prompt restatement is not even remotely related to the original discussion. The questions being asked as the establishing platform for the writer's opinion were also not addressed directly with topical responses in the first paragraph. The opening statement is a failure in terms of responding to the task. The first paragraph has one objective alone, to do a simple rewording of the original topic, then respond directly to the questions within 2 sentences that will establish the succeeding discussion paragraphs. When the writer does not address the concerns of the paragraph properly, he is said to not have met task accuracy requirements. This is an example of an empty restatement. It neither meets the topic paraphrasing nor the opinion response needs to meet receive a decent accuracy score. Stick to the script in the first paragraph.

The author has incorrectly used a possessive apostrophe in this case. Nobody owns the cars in terms of reference. It is just a general description of the object. There is no need for an apostrophe at the end of the plural form of the word (cars not cars'). The paragraph should not have had a 3rd reason presented. The most one should present in these paragraphs are 2 connected reasons (air and noise pollution) that can share the same reasoning. The last reason was not properly connected nor explained anymore. It affected the cohesiveness of the paragraph negatively.

The writer should provide a direct response to the given question "Should people be discouraged to use cars?" The paragraph should kick off with a clear opinion sentence such as "I believe that people should not be discouraged to use cars at this point." Then proceed to explain 2 related reasons for this belief. There is no sense in unnecessarily making the paragraph longer since longer does not always mean better. It is the author's logic and intelligence, not the words written that is being assessed here. Long essays usually mean more mistakes or irrelevant discussion points.

Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Advantages and disadvantages of working or traveling for a time before higher education [4]

Please note that you will not be able to write 328 words during the actual 40 minute test. Time yourself next time and make sure you write a prompt adherent essay. What you currently have is a prompt deviant essay that does not respond to the task in the correct format.This is a general comparative essay. It is to be written without a writer's opinion since one is not asked for in the writing instruction provided.

This essay discussion is already 50% incorrect. The writer further adds to the non-passing marks for the essay as he combines other discussion formats in the presentation such as an extent response and a corroborative statement where none is required. Due to the incorrect discussion representations, it will be difficult to gain a passing mark.

A lengthy essay is not useful when the content does not meet the scoring requirements. English comprehension skills as evidenced by a correct and applicable response format is imperative and must be proven to pass this test.

Writing Feedback / Practicing writing essays | TOPIC: Students should be required to take physical education courses [2]

There are 2 ways to approach the riting of this essay. These are:
1. Prompt restatement + personal opinion
2. Direct discussion

The difference between the 2 is that the former allows you to highlight hour well you can interpret an English discussion.The latter, immediately highlights your English thinking and writing style. The commonality of the 2 is the need for strong English comprehension skills. In this writing, the student shows logical English prowess, but tends to overdiscuss to the point of topic alteration. The focus of the discussion should focus on that foundation without meddling the discussion with values references.

When writing a 2 paragraph direct response, one must be certain of his opinion since this has to be proven to be the correct and acceptable opinion. Words of uncertainty create a sense of doubt because you have made your own opinion weak. "I think" has no place in an opinion or analytical essay.

Good job reasoning out though. It is not a bad first attempt. There is definitely room for improvement based upon this presentation. The writing skill can be developed easily.

Writing Feedback / Illustration the process of making traditional wooden shoes called clogs [2]

The procedural report is short by one paragraph even as the word count was met. There should be 3 paragraphs present here since the manufacturing process is divided into 2 phases. Therefore:

1st paragraph = Summary + Trend
2nd paragraph= First 3 steps
3rd paragraph = Last 3 steps

The grouping is used to signify the start and end of the clog creation process. It makes the process clearer and easier to follow for the reader.

When summarizing the image information, there is no need to create a "machine driven" comparison since there is no reference to that in the reference/source image. The second sentence is actually confusing to read. The reference to machine creation threw off the sentence structure in terms of clarity.

Good job explaining the process. Though not grammatically perfect, the explanation can be understood by the reader. However, the paragraph should have been divided into 2 to properly represent the related movements.

Writing Feedback / Wild animals have no place in 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. [3]

The prompt given is an opinion. Where no extent or disagree response is asked for, the writer must discuss the essay from a logical point of view. Does the writer share the same opinion ? Why or why not? The rephrasing should only be 3 sentences long:

1. Restate the topic
2. Answer if one shares the opinion (e.g. I can understand why one would think this. / I can see reasons to not believe this statement)

3. Give a summary of 2 supporting reasons.

The essay is frustrating to read because the writer shows a total disregard for paragraph formatting. A consideration heavily observed by the examiners. Expect severe deductions because of this. Careless writing will always result in a failing score.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 - Discuss both view - should spend money on bicycle or public transport? [3]

The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not offer an accurate depiction of the original topic. The first 1 public opinion statement was turned into an argument. The second public opinion was not interpreted by the writer. The paragraph will not meet TA requirements for a passing score.

The reasoning paragraphs are as incomplete as the prompt restatement. It is totally missing a discussion of the 2nd public opinion. The sudden jump to the personal opinion means the essay is underdeveloped and lacking the expected discussion focus. Failing to compare the draft with the prompt instructions caused these errors. The writer failed to check his work for prompt compliance. That error will ensure a non-passing score. There is no need to ask what mark it will receive. It has to improve overall to even come close to a passing score.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 1] BAR CHART - GLOBAL MOBILE PHONES SALES BY BRAND [3]

Divide the summary overview into individual information sentences. starting off with a run- on sentence means major point deductions that can lower the TA score to a failing level. The writer opened by showing a lack of sentence structure control due to the missing mix of appropriate sentence styles.

"Despite" is a preposition that connotes "in spite of" or " not withstanding". This can only be used to refer to a situation where a common scenario exists which has been overcome by the group. This is not the case for the trending statement since s of the companies have a different scenario. There is a word usage error that affected the clarity of the idea presentation in that aspect.

Do not ask the reader to look at the graph.That is never an instruction given in an analytical report. Use a different way of starting off the sentence. Use a topic rather than directional reference.

All sentence references must be between 3-5 to represent an academic analytical paragraph. Use the uniform minimum to maximum sentence count paragraph. That is the best way to meet the GRA requirements.

Book Reports / Book Review: THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT at least 1000 words. [2]

As this is a book report and not a film review of the book, there should not be any reference to Netflix and data about the limited series viewership. The book depiction is original while Netflix created a film adaptation. The great differences in the versions are the main reasons why the writer should focus on the book review alone. Do not confuse the reader with regards to the differing story treatments.

The student is expected to have read the book from cover to cover. He is not allowed to just paraphrase the Wikipedia page about the book /film. Yes. I read and compared this presentation with the Wikipedia souce, something the teacher will also do. Adding the Wikipedia mention as a source could also cause a greater problem for the report grade. The plagiarism checkers will detect the similarities and report it. Read the book then write your review. Do not watch the film and integrate it due to the differences in story handling. You cannot present a combined review for this paper.

Writing Feedback / (IELTS WRITING) Governments should ban dangerous sports? Discuss and give your own opinion [2]

Representing a statement of concern was totally unnecessary since this was not represented as such in the essay. It was however, shown to be a debatable subject based on 2 public perceptions. Therefore the concern should have been indicated as a debate instead. The writer needs to differentiate the topic intentions so that he can use the correct descriptive term for the subject focus. Prior to presenting his opinion, he should have represented the associated public opinion restatement for accuracy scoring. The missing public reference means point deductions will be applied.

The paper can be scored only as representative of 1 out of 3 required opinions. The writer has not discussed /analyzed the 2 differing public views in the third person manner prior to his personal opinion presentation. He has not met he complete discussion requirements to be considered for a passing score.

Scholarship / State the reason for studying in Japan and what you wish to study at a university in Japan [2]

This can be used as a general reference point for a properly developed essay response. It at least gives the writer a basis for further response expansion. It is not informative nor impressive enough to be used as the actual response because the writer has not put much thought into the presentation. It lacks the important discussion requirements that a student serious about studying in Japan should provide. A lack of academic targets and personal development objectives are what made this a useless essay. The opening sentence alone is enough to turn-off the reviewer. The applicant sounds too bored during and after the pandemic to be taken seriously as a student. This response essay should be no less than 250-300 words to deliver a convincing explanation for both considerations.

Writing Feedback / Essay regarding the consumption of unhealthy food [4]

This essay contains a very well developed paraphrasing and highly informative opinion statement. Both of which will help increase the preliminary score of this discussion.

The writer shows a clear grasp of the reasoning expectations and shows an ability to discuss these as needed. While his discussions are clear, he may want to consider the use of more linking references in the discussions. He should also avoid stating: "For example", since the mention of the reference already indicates that.

Avoid the use of placement holder words and other commonly used linking phrases like "in other words" as these are seen as memorized phrases learned in IELTS review classes. Develop more original representations.

The writer has done a passing job with this presentation. Just note the above observations for additional improvement going forward.

Writing Feedback / People claim that in the upcoming years, printed publications will be replaced by online materials [2]

Do not make claims that are not present in the original version so as not to negatively affect prompt restatement accuracy. There was never a reference to " many people". There is no point of view representation orginally so there should not heone in the retelling. It is also incorrect to say "free purchase" because a purchase connotes a financial sale of goods. There is no such thing as a free purchase. Do not confuse the please with the commonly used reference to "free with every purchase" indicating anon-sall related item or gift with purchase. That said, the paragraph contains a highly compliant opinion and reasoning foundation. Good job with that!

The first reasoning paragraph does not use the correct linking word since the preceding topic is not related in reference to the second part of the paragraph. Rather than the word "additionally", a transition sentence to introduce a different but related discussion focus should have been used. know when to use a linking word or transition reference in the paragraph. These are the reasons why the second reasoning paragraph better develops its discussion points. It is the stronger of the 2 paragraph presentations.


This could refer to any reference beyond printed newspapers and books. It could also mean televised ?news, among others. Use a more specific synonym next time that clearly relates to the original keywords.

The essay has equal good and bad points. It may result in q passing but not high score in an actual setting.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: academic writing: what factors affect food choices [3]

The essay will get a non-passing score even though the writer provided a lengthy discussion in his presentation. His prompt restatement is Inaccurate because it does not reflect the original discussion points. Rather, the author depicted a statement that reflects his misunderstanding of the given topic. An ewor that extended all the way to his opinion presentation. He did not respond to the 2 given questions. Anstead, he created his own discussion points which ffurther reflect the seriousness of his English comprehension problems. His accuracy is nonexistent as neither the prompt restatement nor personal . relate to the original paragraph. When a full prompt alteration is present, a failing score is given by the examiner.

Writing Feedback / Some people believe that learners should be taught what is necessary for their expertise [2]

The first sentence in this presentation is a prompt topic deviation but not an opinion misrepresentation. Placed in the current position, it serves as a score deduction due to an unsupported claim that is not part of the topic statement. It will serve as a scoring plus only when correctly merged with the personal opinion statement towards the end of the paragraph. Correct opinion reasoning placement is imperative in the opening paragraph. The problem, is that even the writer's opinion is not aligned with the claim either, making it a true negative score contributor.

The writing does not use correct third person group pronouns to differentiate between the public and personal opinion The assumption becomes that these are all writer perspective opinions. This is indicative of an incorrect response format. It is no longer a comparative discussion based on public reasons vis a vis a personal viewpoint or understanding.

Writing Feedback / The question is whether specialized data should be widely available or not [2]

The prompt paraphrase is not going to receive passing considerations for 3 reasons:

1. The writer indicates a debate where none is present. What does exist are opposing opinions. That is how it should be referred to in the topic interpretation.

2. He added a reference to copyright violation and unsafe practice. Data that is not originally referred to. Since there is no reason for such a mention in the paraphrasing, it will be considered a prompt alteration and result in a failing accuracy score.

3.He neglected to present the reasoning basis for his opinion. His opinion statement lacks summarized validity.

The reasons presented do not discuss the public opinion. It is a general discussion of his personal opinion of the 2 public views instead. When references to"some people" and "others" are provided The writer must use the correct 3rd person pronouns in the discussion to clearly separate his personal point of view as instructed by the prompt. This essay does not provide a passing score presentation based on the aforementioned reasons.

Scholarship / Valedictorian Admission Form (Grade 8) - what qualities do you posses [3]

What are the word count requirements for this essay? The presentation is way too short for an essay meant to sing your praises as a potential class valedictorian. I would only consider this a brainstorming exercise and nothing more. There really is not any reason for the committee members to consider your application.

You have not covered any notable academic accomplishments, impressive extra curricular participation, or even a strong and exemplary character /conduct as a student. The activity with the politician is a good start but without the correct discussion foundation and subsequent supporting facts, it does not help create an impressive image of your alleged student leadership.

There needs to be a more valid 2.0 version of this application essay.

Writing Feedback / The pie charts illustrates how many people took part in organizations voluntarily (2008 and 2014) [5]

The overall word count for this essay is too short to accurately reflect the writer's reporting skills. Full marks cannot be considered for each subic section when less than 175 words are written. 158 words reflects that the writer did not really take the time to study the images. He merely glanced at it and hurriedly wrote it up. He must learn proper time management in relation to developing an analytical report. That way he can maximize his scoring potential.

Offering the number of images specifically will help add exceptional clarity to the summary paragraph. Even if the years indicated infer the number of images, points will not be lost if the writer does his best to use all marked information in that section. It can only increase the score.

There is a bit of information reference confusion in the trending statement One must specifically mention "at the start of the period" prior to referencing "at the end of the period" to properly represent the measurement schedule overview.

Review the images in chronological order /as presented in the original report. Do not change the order because it will confuse the reader when considering information clarity.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 essay about the rate of people working in different jobs in 2 towns [6]

The first paragraph is a run-on sentence. It is confusing for the reader to read as too much information is placed in one sentence. Basic sentence building abilities are immediately scored in the summary paragraph. Therefore, the paragraph must contain at least 3 sentences representing individual information regarding the images and other highlights.

The understanding is that the report will help the writer create a mental image of the provided data. The report cannot ask the reader to look at or infer that the reader must refer to the image. The report must clearly explain the data imaginatively, based on the writer's analysis. There are several references to the image consultation here that will reduce the score in terms of meeting the task requirements.

Town A is also more thoroughly analyzed than Town B. The analysis must be of equal length and discussion for both images otherwise a lower C + C score will be awarded. The reason being that one of the paragraphs is short in terms of analytical development and explanation.

It must be pointed out that even though there are several score reduction reasons in the presentation, the writer still made a good effort in writing the report. He should get a better practice score in the future if he is guided properly during his review period.

Writing Feedback / Many subjects are dropped at school, leading multiple changes for students. [3]

It is important that the exam taker understand the importance of opinion clarity to the essay. Most specially in the first paragraph where the task accuracy score is based heavily on the method by which the writer makes his thoughts understood. His restatement is confusing and his opinion lacks a reference to the topic and reasoning subjects for the next paragraphs.

Based on this exercise, it is clear that the writer does not have a working knowledge of how to format English sentences. His skills are so bad that he cannot even present a proper paragraph, nor use punctuation marks properly in the sentences. The use of certain words out of meaning adds to the failure of this presentation.

Understand this, do not just keep writing for the sake of meeting the word count. Write to make yourself properly understood, using correct writing skills. Without which passing sectional scores cannot be given. Failure to do so means the essay will still get a failing score like in this case.

Writing Feedback / The shown diagram depicts the procedure for reprocessing plastic bottles - IELTS 1 [2]

This type of essay writing does not receive a passing score. That is because when less than 150 words are written, a word count percentage deduction is applied. This essay only represents 136 words so a hefty ple-scoring deduction will be applied. That will limit the sectional scoring considerations later on. The essay will be scored from a failed base score that will be difficult to overcome. Make sure to meet the minimum word count to avoid the auto fail score at the start.

Do not make any reference to a seeable diagram. This task is based on your ability to recreate the given information . without linking it to the image. Failure to do so will result in additional deductions. The chance of this essay to pass will be further limited by this reference mistake.

The trending statement is also faulty in the sense that itis a run-on presentation which resulted in sentence structure mistakes. We have not even gotten to the report paragraphs and yet, I can already tell that the essay will have too many starting problems to receive a passing mark.

The reporting paragraphs are concise and with limited word usage errors. The problem is that the report became too brief. That is indicative of a report that has not thoroughly analyzed the image. The writer's perspective is highly limited leading to an underpresented procedural report.

Writing Feedback / IELTS[WRITING TASK 1] The number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. [2]

The summary overview is incomplete as it does not mention the value reference of the data as collated. The trending paragraph should be limited only to the high and low reference. This is not a paragraph that allows for a comparative analysis. The comparison should be integrated into the analytical report paragraphs. The summary should only highlight scannable information from the image. A quick representation will suffice. Do not overdo the trending reference as was done here.

Avoid the use of archaic English words such as "Millions". Modern English grammar rules dictate that an S at the end of large and specific numbers is no longer needed when indicating the value. Therefore,



is the correct reference for the values in this report. An S is only added when uncertain values are mentioned (e.g. millions of people, hundreds of dollars) as per analytical considerations. The early numerical reference is incorrect but the writer corrected the value title later on. He should have corrected the early reference to avoid LR and GRA deductions in relation to the specific word usage.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Wirting Task2 Happiness definition [2]

While the essay more than meets the required word count, the presentation format is incorrect. The IELTS Task 2 requirements are as follows:

Paragraph 1: Prompt paraphrase + personal opinion based on a thesis statement

Paragraphs 2-3: Explanatory paragraphs that establish the basis of the personal point of view statement. One topic per paragraph.

Paragraph 4: A summarized version of the preceding topic, opinion, and supporting reasons.

The writer has not met the response format requirements with this presentation. He should not have began his opinion explanation in the first paragraph. This portion should have established his discussion representation instead.

The reasons need to number no more than 2. Each reason should be fully developed individually. This presentation is lacking in both analysis and development since attention to detail was overlooked.

The concluding summary does not meet the 40 word requirement and does not properly recapitulate the previous topic and discussion points. It does not properly close the essay.

While the essay is a bit acceptable, achieving a passing score may be difficult due to the lacking scoring expectations. The writer should use the correct format next time.

Writing Feedback / [WRITING TASK 1] the Internet use in different purposes in Australia in 2010 - 2011 [2]

The presentation has 4 images which means it should have followed the 4 reporting paragraph format. The lack of an additional paragraph affected the presentation score in the sense that a complete comparative analysis was not presented. This should have 200 words at the most, over 4 paragraphs.

Bar chart identifiers for each image and the actual number of images should have been indicated in the opening summary sentence to deliver a fully accurate overview. The measurement type should have been included to help the reader understand how the data was collated and how it would be used in the report.

The paragraphs do not meet the academic 3-5 sentence requirement. The writer must learn to write more clearly by properly formatting his sentence ideas.

Based on this simple presentation, one can see the potential of this writer to pass this test. What he needs to focus on are content and sentence structure improvements.

Writing Feedback / How to be well prepared before an exam [2]

The essay has good ideas that could have been better developed. I see this essay as a 4 paragraph presentation:

Introduction:
The topic presentation should have been accompanied by a 3 reference outline to establish the forthcoming paragraph topics.

One paragraph per topic:
By properly separating the discussions, a more developed and convincing topic can be presented. The explanations would have been clearer and the writing would be less rushed allowing for a more completed topic presentation.

Conclusion:
The closing remarks could have allowed the writer to try and convince the reader of the strength of his suggestions in a manner that would have shown further consideration and analysis.

The presentation is acceptable as a summary but not as a discussion essay.

Writing Feedback / Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? [2]

The topic paraphrasing is off-base. The writer's interpretation of the original topic does not reflect the correct meaning and considerations. He has altered the topic requirement and did not establish his opinions for the questions presented since he chose notto answer the questions, opting to just restate the questions in statement form instead. It is already obvious to the examiner that the author does not know what he is doing and could fail the test.This error was caused by the unrelated run-on topic discussed in the first sentence. It altered the discussion basis. A straightforward restatement was required without additional information at the start. That reference could have been more beneficial as a part of the opinion presentation.

The writer will not get a good GRA score since he uses run - on sentences, commas, and periods only, he shows an inability to properly structure simple ' complex, and compound sentences. He should improve his sentence development and presentation skills to geta better score in this section.

Writing Feedback / The maps below show Colwick Arts Centre in 2005 and today. [2]

The summary overview and trending statement are well developed in this essay. The 2 sentence presentation is concise, clear, and displays a good control over sentence structure development.This is one of the high scoring considerations of this image interpretation.

The comparison method used in the paragraphs are also well developed. Grammatically though, the writer should have avoided using certain current action references in the reporting paragraphs. The present indicative plural was misused in this case since the images from the " today" image has already been completed. So, a reference to the works already having been completed should have been used. An immediate past indicative term should have been used instead.

Save for the aforementioned grammatical error, the writer shows talent in comparative report writing.

Writing Feedback / Essay about schools preparing students for university instead of jobs [2]

The prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph should only be 2 sentences long for agree or disagree and extent essays. That is because the prompt paraphrasing does not require a personal opinion at the start. That should be a part of the personal opinion sentence. The 3 sentence paragraph is used in the discuss both views and give your opinion writing instruction since there are 2 public opinions to individually state plus a personal opinion to establish.

Even though he has the potential to score well based on this writing (the other essays he presented were non-passing), the writer is constantly making the same errors in his first paragraph presentation throughout various essays including this one regardless of the corrections given. He is incapable of learning from corrections so this will be the last advice I will be giving him. It is senseless for me to continue advising him.

Writing Feedback / Essay about the power of advertising in the sale of consumer goods [2]

2 problems exist in the prompt paraphrase. The first problem is that the author has opened with non- supported claims. A non supported claim is seen as information added by the writer that creates the wrong emphasis or a prompt deviation. Either of which will result in point deductions based on restatement inaccuracy. Never add or remove information from the ougenal. Always use the same idea without exaggerations or additions. From what I have read though, the writer has misunderstood the given topic and discussion basis. This is not about purchasing habits although purchases are involved in the discussion.

The second problem is that the writer is not using the correct discussion reference for his extent opinion. There is no arguement, only the personal opinion of the writer that he is expected to explain over 2 paragraphs. He is confused about the response formats. His interpretation is also faulty as it is not aligned with the discussion as provided. These errors mean that there are severe prompt deviations leading to a failing preliminary score. Misaligned discussions will deliver a final failing score overall.

Writing Feedback / INFLUENCE OF ADVERTISEMENTS ON CONSUMERS - CAUSES AND SOLUTION [2]

The prompt restatement should carry an academic tone and should not be using slang English words such as "bombarded". While the interpretation is acceptable, it should be more educated and representative of proper academic learning next time. The writer has not provided a scorable opinion statement as he did not provide summarized topic responses to the questions but only question paraphrasing. These do not fulfill the clear opinion statement requirement of the paragraph. Only a partial prompt restatement score will be applied.

Taking into consideration that the discussion restatement provided does not follow the original 2 questions, it is safe to say that the writer has completely altered the discussion targets. He cannot get a passing score for this essay as his discussion paragraphs are not suited to the provided writing instructions. An overall failing score will be given to this essay.