ichanpants89 [Contributor]
Nov 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / SOME PEOPLE THINK WHEN RECRUITING, COMPANIES SHOULD AIM TO TAKE ON PEOPLE WHO ARE INNOVATIVE.. [2]
Reski, apart from the above-mentioned feedback from one of EF members, I would like to mention your weaknesses in order to make you able to strengthen them in the next practice and not fall into the same mistake. I hope the detailed descriptions would help you achieving a better quality of an IELTS task 2 essay.
- First of all, you have quite a lot spelling errors. This would not bring any benefits towards your final grade. You should proofread your essay by looking up certain difficult words that you think you are unsure about it. Many spelling mistakes would lead your band score to 5 or even worse than that. For instance, those spellings errors are "critrion" > "criterion", "issuees" > "issues", "programer" > "programmer", "theirself" > "themselves", "innovativeness" > "innovation", and "indepentdently" > "independently". Quite a lot isn't it?
- Second, punctuation is also one of the essential assessment criteria of IELTS writing and capitalization is included. Try to look at the last paragraph, the phrase "to sum up" is not capitalized properly.
- Then, as you might know, I have given some feedback to several members of this forum concerning the rule of academic writing. Mentioning "but" in the beginning of the sentence would make your essay becomes less academic. This is because "but" is considered as one of coordinate connectors. Therefore, my suggestion is that you can just switch "but" by using "However/Nevertheless" and many other cohesive devices that related to "contrasting" ideas.
Hope this helps :)
Reski, apart from the above-mentioned feedback from one of EF members, I would like to mention your weaknesses in order to make you able to strengthen them in the next practice and not fall into the same mistake. I hope the detailed descriptions would help you achieving a better quality of an IELTS task 2 essay.
- First of all, you have quite a lot spelling errors. This would not bring any benefits towards your final grade. You should proofread your essay by looking up certain difficult words that you think you are unsure about it. Many spelling mistakes would lead your band score to 5 or even worse than that. For instance, those spellings errors are "critrion" > "criterion", "issuees" > "issues", "programer" > "programmer", "theirself" > "themselves", "innovativeness" > "innovation", and "indepentdently" > "independently". Quite a lot isn't it?
- Second, punctuation is also one of the essential assessment criteria of IELTS writing and capitalization is included. Try to look at the last paragraph, the phrase "to sum up" is not capitalized properly.
- Then, as you might know, I have given some feedback to several members of this forum concerning the rule of academic writing. Mentioning "but" in the beginning of the sentence would make your essay becomes less academic. This is because "but" is considered as one of coordinate connectors. Therefore, my suggestion is that you can just switch "but" by using "However/Nevertheless" and many other cohesive devices that related to "contrasting" ideas.
Hope this helps :)