Writing Feedback / Some technologies are being used to control the movement and to facilitate the communication [2]

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell-phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, advanced devices become phenomenon. Some technologies are being used to control the movement and to facilitate the communication. In any case, the society do not realise that they are monitored by some surveillance devices. This essay will examine by considering more merits than demerits in which I personally agree that it will be beneficial to assist human activity.

The negative side is that surveillance camera and spy tool can damage the privacy because all of activities are witnessed by public. For example, the movement of politician or candidate of president will be exposed which will become public consumption in order to judge the good figure whether appropriate or not. All in all, during the phase, there is no private space, and it will destroy the comfortable zone. It is evident that observing the people's activity will affect the unpleasant of environment.

On the other hand, the sophisticated devices such as hand-phone and recorder application can help people to control the trading. The activity of staff, shares and manufacturing can be observed through the feature in smart-phone. For instance, based on Asia-Europe Foundation, more than 3,500 companies in Singapore monitor their business progress in which they tend to focus on identifying the employee's productivity although they are travelling in some areas. As a result, this development will boost the revenue of organisation because of worker's performance that is under supervision of owner.

Furthermore, high kit such as CCTV or hidden camera is tremendous essential to inspect the situation in some locations. This is because it is effective to diminish the crime action. According to BBC news, more than 5,000 criminal in Brazil has success to be detained by police due to the fact that the law enforcement can easily identify the suspects by showing some fact and evidence from the CCTV tools. Undoubtedly, this is useful to sustain the officer's occupation.

To sum up, I personally argue that advanced technology leads to more positive effects that negative one. It would recommend that individuals should use the equipment wisely and concern about abuse.

Writing Feedback / The most significant income in 2003 brought travel sector, with 36% of the online retail sale in NZ [2]

The Pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

A breakdown of the information about the sales of online shopping offers for household sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. Overall, it can be seen that travel dominated the sales in 2013. Although film/music took the least proportion in 2003, this number increased in 2013.

To begin, the most significant sales in 2003 was travel, which was 36% while 2013 saw a slight decrease of three-fifths. However, there was a sharp inclined in number of film/music. In 2003, the figure for film/music was much less than 2013, which was more than two-fifths whilst for film in 2013 was 33%.

Turning to another analysis, clothes took the modest proportion in 2003, which was 24% whereas 2013 witnessed a minority, with plunging to a low of 16%. Interestingly, book remained steady in the average percentages of sales at 19% and 22% respectively over the rest of period.

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Writing Feedback / Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need [2]

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford.
What are the reasons for this behaviour?
What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

As it is commonly understood, money is essential to support better living. Some societies try to credit or debt in order to purchase things for them although they have effortlessly to buy it. Lifestyle and easily access are the main factors why this phenomenon occurred. This essay will expand the causes that mention above and come up with solution to avoid public from having this behaviour.

These days, individuals tend to follow the lifestyle by buying the commercial things using debt. This is because the demand of lifestyle and competition that influence those want to preserve their arrogance. For example, based on UNFPA, more than 7,300 citizens in Ontario Canada tend to lend money or debt to fulfill the way of life. They prefer to relocate their basic needs expenditure with the luxury goods. Consequently, majority of people do not have residential in which primary living has been changed by prestigious matters like jewellery, clothes and car. Undoubtedly, lifestyle alters the way of humankind thought by loaning financial in order to increase their dignity.

Furthermore, the easy access affects citizens to use facility. The sophisticated technology like credit card encourages people to shopping while they do not have money cash. For instance, most of stores in multi-storey use credit card machine to support the activity of trade. As a result, community indirectly are persuaded to buy luxury items in which it is not beneficial, and only fascinate the eyewitness. It is evident that using credit card causes customers to do not think twice to take product in store.

However, the suggestion to solve this issue is that government should limit the usage of credit card by observing and identifying the background of inhabitants' revenue and outcome. This is useful to diminish desire of people purchasing impressive items. In Japan, the number of shopaholic decrease sharply year-by-year due to the fact that the system of that government applied increase the enthusiastic of dweller to realise that it is just waste their earnings.

To sum up, I personally agree that the command of life and service offered by bank boost the spirit to buy goods by lending the money. It would recommend that government should survey the people's income to reduce the usage of credit.

Writing Feedback / Numbers of commercial formats of film rented and its sales from a special stall over a 9-year period [2]

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

A breakdown of the information about the number of commercial formats of film rented and its sales from a special stall over a 9-year period is revealed by line graph. Overall, it can be seen that DVD sales dominated the number of buyers from 2004 to 2011. Although rentals and VHS sales had downward trend, Blu-ray sales increased slightly.

To begin, the figure for Dvd sales stood at below 50,000 in the first year, and it rose significantly, with reaching a peaked of 215,000 over following five years. However, 2008 to 2011 witnessed a slight decrease to 180,000, which was threefold greater than in the beginning.

Turning to another analysis, rentals began at 185,000 in 2002, which this number was the most dominant number whilst the others had the least. The number of rentals declined dramatically, and plunged to a low of 70,000 in which this pattern similar with Vhs sales which was a steady fall by 80,000 during the rest of time. Nonetheless, from 2007 to 2011, there was a gradual growth of 5,000 (from 2,000 to 7,000)

Writing Feedback / Salmon put their eggs in the upper river which has slow moving currents - facts from this fish life [2]

The diagrams illustrate the process of how a big fish recognised as salmon life and breed. It is noticeable that there are three steps of salmon's growth from fry to adult.

To begin, salmon put their eggs in the upper river which has slow moving currents and in the opposite between reeds and small stones. This is the appropriate place to protect their eggs from predators, and the eggs will be incubated around 5-6 months. After incubating process, the eggs will change to be a fry which has body's size approximately 3-8 cm. Following this, the fish will adapt in lower rivers which is fast slowing currents in which they will stay at the location for 4 years.

Next, the fish are metamorphosed to be smolt that has 12-15 cm body's long. They will be breed in the open ocean for 5 years, and it will continue until they become grow to be adult salmon. Adult Salmon has a large body about 70-76 cm which can be consumed for society as food chains.

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Writing Feedback / Many citizens should pay admission to visit museum. Money is spent eg. for rebuilding the facility. [2]

Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

As it is commonly understood, the historical place such as museum builds the spirit of nationalism. Many citizens should pay admission to visit museum in order to obtain the income to rebuild the facility and to add attractive performance. However, some museums are free of charge to attract visitors to go there. I personally agree that there are great deals of merits of giving fee for museums than demerits.

The benefit of visiting museum by paying the admission is to increase the revenue of museum. This is because museum should be preserved the sustainable of its development by reconstructing the sites. For example, according to UNESCO, more than 73 historical sites in Cambodia are visited by foreigner because the magnificent spot are maintained by management and government. As a result, museum becomes well-known place that should be visited in which it will boost the profits to enlarge the museum becoming bigger.

In addition, I personally agree that museums should be given a charge in order to enhance additional show to magnetise plenty of people. In Japan, more than 350 museums are always full of tourist, beside the panorama and feature offered for visitors, there are traditional dance and music festival. All in all, the majority of people are enjoying witnessing the museum. It is evident that additional cost influences the pleasure of museum.

On the other hand, the negative side that charged the museum is that making eyewitness tend to do not sightseeing because of payment. Museums only offer the invention from ancient which cannot attract the interesting of inhabitants. For instance, a large number of museums in Thailand were closed due to the fact that the management has effortlessly to arrange and re-build the museums. Consequently, these businesses are failure and bankrupt because it is not attract attention for society. Undoubtedly, museum should be sustained by spending high expenditure to build fascinating spot.

To sum up, by charging the museums, there are a lot of benefits that people get rather than drawbacks. I recommend that government and management should spend the revenue to remake the museum more decorative.

Writing Feedback / Early education boosts creativity, although it can bring detrimental effect on mentality development [4]

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight.

How far do you agree with either of these views?

As it is commonly understood, Some communities in some territorial suggest their child to start formal education at four years old due to enhance the development of brain while other believe that children do not allows to attend formal school after having appropriate age to accept the lesson because of maturity. I personally agree with statement above because students who have young age will be difficult to run the system.

Children who encourage joining formal school at four years will accelerate the motor system of brain. This is because they have strong memory to memorize the word or lesson. For example, according to UNICEF, 15 of 23 pupils have brilliant idea which is more creative and imaginative due to the fact that their parents ask them to enter the formal school at very young age. Undoubtedly, having young age in the school can stimulate the ingenuity of child.

On the other hand, young generation who have proper age to school such as seven years are easily to accept the material that teacher give because they tend to can distinguish the different between bad behaviour and good, and also teachers are effortlessly to guide them to be more active in class. For instance, more than 74% children in India are discipline with regulation that teacher applied in school. As a result, most of them are dominant and superior in class which is success to achieve their goal. It is impressive that the younger age can affect the system of teacher guidance in which kids can decide the best choice to have excellent characteristic to enhance their quality.

In addition, I personally agree that toddlers aged 4 years old who enter elementary school will influence the mentality of students to accept the lesson. For example, based on UNFPA survey, the majority of the age between 4 and 5 still do not have self-control or self-regulation. Consequently, more than two-thirds toddlers fail in the class which tend to be stubborn by ignoring advises from teachers. It is evident that it is not effective to increase their mental development.

To sum up, although encouraging individual in early age boosts creativity, I personally believe that it will bring detrimental effect on mentality development

Writing Feedback / There are four major of raw material to produce fish pie - which is illustrate on the diagrams. [2]

The diagrams illustrate the process of frozen fish pies production. It is noticeable that there are four major of raw material to produce fish pie. However, the production line of fish is followed by several stages.

To begin, the raw materials like potatoes are delivered to the factory up to one month, and then those are cleaned by clean machines. After cleaning, potatoes will be peeled and sliced into small pieces. While the process runs, the waste of slices is put into the waste disposal. Next, the potato slices are boiled and heated for a minute, and potatoes are drained and chilled before those are ready to be stored.

Turning to another process, salmon is distributed at maximum 12 hours to keep the freshness. Salmon are given a fresh lemon juice and salt in order to neutralizer the smell of fish. Following this step, the fresh salmon is steam to the oven. There are two workers who get rid of skin and bones of fish in which it will be inspect by another labour to check that fish is free from bones. Afterwards, fish pass through some machine such as prepared peas and sauce that will be mix with potatoes and fish as topping. The final process is wrapping the product and making them freeze before dispatching the product. The result of fish pie will be placed into microwaveable container.

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Writing Feedback / All university students should study whatever they like [2]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As it is commonly understood, education is essential to develop career or better living. Some people believe that all students in higher-education should choose subject whatever they like to enhance the quality of skills. However, there are several arguments state that it will be beneficial to decide subject related to science and technology to raise the stabilisation of economy. In my opinion, selecting subject that younger enjoy is much more important.

Student who are encouraged to prefer science or technology majoring can influence the stability of economy and quality of life. This is because the invention and infrastructure can attract investors to invest their shares to increase establishment in order to gain revenue for the country. For example, china, particularly shanghai, more than 17,000 student are assisted by financial support from government who take technology subject. As a result, shanghai is recognised as developing city that has more improved in technology sector in which they can construct some facilities and accommodation to support inhabitant's activity. Undoubtedly, by electing some majors such as technology can build up the quality of life to create economy more stable.

On the other hand, young generation who take a major based on their interest will be beneficial for their career to be professional due to the fact that they can evolve their ability and run their lesson more enjoy. For instance, according to UNFPA, 80% the majority of adolescent taking their favourite major becomes more expertise in their occupation. All in all, the subject that interest for people is dominant factor to be expert in the sector that people choose.

In addition, I personally believe that persuade children to take subject that they do not like will affect their mentality. For example, teenagers are more stressed to face the test because they do not have spirit to learn in class in order to boost and to enrich their competence. Consequently, most of students did not pass the examination and become unemployment.

To sum up, I personally agree that people should involve themselves to take the subject that fascinates them in order to distinguish their knowledge to be more expert. However, there is a merits impact on quality of country for deciding science and technology, but there is detrimental effect on their development.

Writing Feedback / The tables reveals that the income of bananas was more dominant in comparison to coffee sale money. [2]

The tables below give information about sales of fair-trade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables reveal the comparison about sales of fair-trade-labelled coffee and sales of bananas divided in different European nation, and it is measured in million between 1999 and 2004. Overall, it can be seen that majority of countries experienced a significant rise of those product. However, the income of bananas product was more dominant than coffee.

The highest sales in coffee product was Switzerland, which stood at 3, and it rose to 6 in 2004 while both of UK and Denmark had the modest profits of sales in the beginning period, which were 1.5 and 1.8 respectively. However, the sale of UK in 2004 was twenty-fold greater than the previous, which was 20. Belgium and Sweden had a very small number in 1999, and this number remained stable in minority in 2009.

Turning to Bananas, Switzerland was predominantly in sales number in 1999. 2004 saw a sharp growth in number of bananas product at 47 whilst Denmark witnessed a slight rise of 1.1 in the end of year This number was slight larger than Sweden at 1.8, and it decrease steadily to 1 million. UK had total income at 5.5 in 2004, with following this number was five times bigger than 1999. Figure of Belgium inclined by 3.4 million.

Writing Feedback / People should not be judged by clothes they wear [5]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As it is commonly understood, fashion has become lifestyle and phenomenon in society. Some community assumes that dresses people wear are essential to identify the characteristic of human even the strata of social. However, there are several arguments state that people should not determined by clothes that they wear. In my point of view, outfit is not only the way to judgment as personality or behavior is dominant factor to judge someone.

These days, the characteristic of human can be observed by the way people wear costume because it is easily to notice what people like and interest. For example, according to UNICEF, eight of ten teenagers can recognize the hobby belongs to their best friend based on the style and looks due to the fact that inhabitant tend to choose the fashionable clothes depending on taste and leisure activity. It is impressive that characteristic of humankind can be decided by the material that they use in daily activity.

Furthermore, individuals can identify the social status of society. This is because person can faster distinguish what is branded dress that people wear. For instance, according to survey conducted by UNFPA, more than 17,000 citizens in New York can be identified whether has high-revenue or not by looking after people's clothes. This is also triggered by many commercial brands that appear in society. Undoubtedly, it is easily to detect the social level by perceiving the clothes that they wear.

On the other hand, I personally believe that public should not be judged by looking at the appearance and style as characteristic and behavior are predominantly making people more care each other. For example, Einstein, genius one who never concern about fashionable and modern-dress, but he can be recognized as well-known scientist due to their ability and personality. It is evident that the appearance not becomes the main way to judge people.

To sum up, although the appearance and clothes is necessary to indicate the character and social status, I personally believe that it is not wise to judge person by seeing the material that people use.

Writing Feedback / Quality of work, performance is more important than an appearance [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As it is commonly understood, appearance can influence the way people work. Some association gives a mandatory to their employee to be stylish in order to enhance the productivity of workers. However, there are several arguments state that the way people dress is not as pivotal as their quality of work. In my opinion, the performance in working is much more important.

These days, some public believe that good looking is essential for their job. This is because the appearance will boost the spirit to enhance the productivity to do an occupation. For example, more than 5,300 sales and marketing research in Japan are encouraged and are given financial support to repair their mien by using commercial brand of make-up to persuade costumers. As a result, sales of product earning the revenue is twofold greater than expenditure. Undoubtedly, paying attention to appearance can improve the effectiveness and efficiency of work.

On the other hand, performance is more likely significant than appearance due to the fact that the quality of work is evaluated by performance. This also affects the profit of the company. For instance, according to UNFPA, the majority of employees in Singapore are assessed by the way people work in which some corporation fire a large number of workers deliberately by deciding the productivity of staff to gain income. All in all, a lot of workers are not concern about their looking. It is impressive that the appearance tend to be ignored by employer which is more necessary to show the accomplishment of work.

Furthermore, I personally agree that the quality of work is not determined by good looking because many jobs are not required workers to be more excellent in appearance. For instance, architecture or manufacturing sectors tend to hire the candidates who have capability and skills to think critically. It is evident that the appearance depends on the business sector, and workers should concern to enlarge their ability and accuracy in working.

To sum up, although the appearance is essential to encourage spirit to increase the productivity, I personally agree that the quality of work is more beneficial to develop their work.

Writing Feedback / The outcome of surveys asking employees about their affiliation with their supervisors and co-worker [3]

The pie charts compare the outcome of surveys asking employees about their affiliation with their supervisors and co-workers between 2005 and 2009. Overall, it can be seen that the workers had great relationship with supervisor. However, the relationship among co-worker was also excellent.

The highest percentage of brilliant relationship with supervisor was 61% in 2005 while 2009 saw a very good connection at two-thirds. The intense of bond between colleague and manager decreased by 4% in the end of period, and then there are similar point in the poor quality of relationship only 2% from 2005 to 2009. The fair relationship with boss is slight decline of 2%, this number is same as workers who keep silent whereas staff who had no relationship with superior increased by a very small number (4%) in 2009.

Turning to association for partner, the quality of relations with associate was brilliant at 63% in the beginning of period, and it rose to 70% in 2009. 2005 to 2009 witnessed a rise of 3% in proportion of good link with colleague whilst both of workers who had no social interaction with other employees and fair took a minority, which was below one in ten in the rest of period. Interestingly, the number of worker who did not have any communication is same as poor quality of relationship only 1%.

Writing Feedback / As it is commonly understood, business is essential to support the quality of life. (IELTS TASK 2) [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

As it is commonly understood, business is essential to support the quality of life. Some people think that the aim of businesses is to earn the revenue and they should focus on only this. I strongly disagree with statement above because they should preserve the sustainable of commerce and stabilization of economy as well as become useful for community service.

To begin, the function of business is not only to obtain the income, but also to maintain the sustainability and continuity of corporation for their future. It is because they should look after networking in order to support financial credit and loan when they are bankrupt or failure. For instance, according to UNFPA data, more than 87 multinational companies in Singapore acquire profits only a quarter of total number of budget and expenditure per-year, but they tend to remain stable in this business to think forward about their prospect. Undoubtedly, to prevent the failure is necessary to build a relation that the dominant purposes of business

Furthermore, another target of business is to control the stabilization of economy because they should considerate it in order to supports the quality of the country itself. China has more than 17,000 of total company which run in some manufactures and sectors, resulting china is recognized as the strongest economy stability in the world. In addition, the other purpose is to provide the public service in order to enhance the quality of people's life. For instance, electricity companies or corporation that offers service for citizen is predominantly to sustain the way of inhabitant's life.

To sum up, it is evident that there are some reasons why the functional of business is not only to get profits, but also to increase the quality of economy and sustainable of company itself. It is recommended that the private company should build a good relationship with society by providing public service.

Writing Feedback / The outcome of survey on happiness ratings (IELTS TASK 1) [2]

The bar chart illustrates the outcome of survey on happiness ratings between married and unmarried people in the US, and the impact of children in the overall ratings of married partners. Overall, it can be seen that the highest percentage of happiness rates is married people. While, married partner who have children below 18 ages take significant rates of happiness.

The largest percentage of happiness ratings is observed by married people while unmarried saw the least. The age of group between 18 and 29 is a dominant in number of married society, which is 45% whilst the number of happiness rates of people who have not married and aged over 65 years is 34%. The smallest proportion of happiness rates for married people is in the 50-64 age of group at 40%, this number is twofold greater than unmarried people aged 50-60. Interestingly, there are two similar points in the 30-49 and 65 and over age of group, which is almost a half.

Turning to happiness rating of people who have children, marriage partner who have the age of children under 18 years old is the biggest proportion of happiness rates at 44%. Whereas, married partner who have above 18 years old saw the lowest proportion at two-fifths, which is only slight less than both of no children and the age of group below 18.

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Writing Feedback / Electronic media influence quality of life - it facilitates people to communicate each other. [2]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As it is commonly understood, electronic media influences people way of life. The use of electronic media brings a detrimental effect on individual relationship between communities. I strongly agree with statement above by considering some reasons why this trend brings some drawbacks.

To begin, electronic media influences quality of life. This is because it facilitates human to communicate. Hand-phone, for instance, is used for building a new relationship and connecting with people around the world. However, this is beneficial for one aspects, I believe that there are some negative impact on using electronic media.

A negative side of electronic media is lacking of togetherness. This is because the usage of electronic media makes inhabitant becoming addicted and tend to ignore what is something happen in the real life because they only focus on surfing in virtual world. For example, according to UNFPA, more than 350 married partner divorce due to the fact that one couple is identified cheating on another women by using sophisticated technology such as hand-phone and social media. As a result, this case makes broken relationship among them. Undoubtedly, the advances machinery of communication is a dominant factors why this phenomenon happening.

Furthermore, another side is that it causes misunderstanding with each other because what society wants to tell by using telephone is more likely different from what people want to say in the real life. For instance, there is a case in Japan, particularly Kyoto, more than 34 case of violence and offensive action is happening there which is triggered by misdirected message. All in all, the replacement of technology devices from letter to email or texting affects inappropriate interpretation.

To sum up, it is evident that electronic media leads a great deal of dire effects on personal relationship among individuals. However, electronically communication causes some impacts, which are that lacking of mutually relationship and misunderstood with each other. It is recommended that humankind should use technology devices of communication wisely.

Writing Feedback / Some people assume that it is better for young generation to take an occupation before study [2]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

As it is commonly understood, education is essential for children. Some people assume that it is better for young generation to take an occupation for a few years before entering higher education. I would agree that it leads more merits than demerits.

A negative side for children who are part-taking in job is that they have older age than their friend which triggered hardly to socialize in university's environment. This is because they have different perspective and point of view to decide or do something. For example, in Canada, particularly Ontario city, more than 17,000 adolescent have a range of the age between 22-24 years old while the age of group to enroll university about 18-20 aged. As a result, many students have a different way to think and it is difficult to socialize. However, I believe that this is not only delivering a detrimental effect on making relationship with colleague, but also bringing some positive side.

The positive side from having a job before studying in university is beneficial to control own self and to cope with problem easily after going to college because they has already observing how to adapt with the environment in workplace and identifying several characteristic of human. For instance, according to Harvard University, there is no case of violence and misbehavior action that student who ever taken part in job do. It is impressive that this development build characteristic of student in their college environment.

Furthermore, another positive side is young generation is easier to accept the process of learning in university. This is because they used to do under pressure deadline of assignment in workplace. United Kingdom apply new regulation for children who want to continue their study in university, they should do internship project. As a result, more than 1,300 adolescent who did the regulation tend to be dominant and superior in the class. Undoubtedly, the internship help student to accept the method and system education in university.

To sum up, it is evident that taking a job before entering the university leads more benefits than drawbacks. I would recommend that student should be encouraged to join internship before entering university

Writing Feedback / Creating own business can lead to bankruptcy and failure nevertheless it bring often lot of success [2]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

As it is commonly understood, starting to create own business becomes well-known in these day. Some people believe that they tend to choose to build own company rather than working for company. I would argue with statement above that it leads more merits than demerits.

To begin, bankrupt and failure is negative side which is experienced by own company. This is because it is not easy to develop own company which are many competitors and rivalry. For example, in South Korea, online shop becomes phenomenon and popular in which many societies begin to run this business by themselves. Following a period, more than 7,000 outlets online clothing closes due to the competitiveness. However, I believe that establishing own business is not only delivering detrimental effect, but also positive one.

Having own business can save a great deal of money. This is because individuals tend to arrange the revenue and outcome for their business. For instance, according to United States data, the majority of private/own company obtains the profit of sales threefold greater that multinational company. Undoubtedly, running own business will increase the income of owner.

Furthermore, another positive side is creating own company which will decrease the number of unemployment due to the fact that company provides an access to job opportunities and gives a large scale to accept the labor even though this job needs physical exercise. For instance, in China, the number of human who does not have an occupation drops sharply year-by-year. As a result, many inhabitants acquire a better quality of life which is encouraged by independent business. It is impressive that opening a big chance for running the company will influence the people way of life.

To sum up, it is evident that although starting own business brings a dire effect on company such as bankrupt and failure, there are some benefits by creating own business which increase the revenue and enhance the quality of life due to the declining of unemployment rates. I would recommend that society should decide thy typical job by considering benefits and drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / The diagram depicts the stages of manufacturing and process adjustment of the customer goods. [2]

The diagram depicts the stages of manufacturing and process adjustment of the customer goods. It is noticeable that the good manufacturing is complex procedure which is done in several steps and information feedback is given to earlier stages to allow for adjustment.

Firstly, raw materials and manufactured components are stored together, before through to the production planning, there are two major processes involving product research and design. After both of the stages are already done, the input is used in product planning process. Next, assembly process depends on the previous stage where it is determined how and how much quantities the stored materials will be processed to produce finished goods. Following this, the products are tested and checked to maintain quality control in which if the good are free from defects, it will directly to be packaged and dispatched. After that, products are ready to be spread over retail outlets. Sales are the end of manufacturing process, and it supports production planning to distinguish the product is it good or bad.

Feedback from testing phase is used in controlling inappropriate problems in finishing product. Then, adjustments will have to be created to the design stages. Following this, market research is used in order to observe trend in market and to examine the demand for product which is designed to be suitable for costumers. Market research, which has a functional to encourage the stabilization of product sales by planning appropriate advertising for the goods

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Writing Feedback / The diagrams show how chocolate is produced [2]

The diagram depicts the process of making chocolate. It is noticeable that there are several stages in the process, started in growing of ripe red pods on the cacao trees until concluding in the production of chocolate produced at factory.

To begin, the raw material of cacao comes from cacao trees, which is grown in the South American, African and some territorial in Indonesia. After the pods are ripe and red, they can be harvested and the white cocoa is separated in order to be fermented. Following a day of fermentation, they are laid out on the board which spread over to get a sunny light, so it will dry because of sun. While the dried beans will be packaged by using sacks, and then it is distributed to the factory by using train or lorry.

Next, the beans are then baked at a high temperature of 350 degrees in which this process will continue to the next stages. The beans are crushed and separated from their outer shell. In final process, liquid chocolate is produced by pressing inner part.

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Writing Feedback / The role of women in community has altered dramatically in the last two decades. [2]

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As it is commonly understood that role of women in community has altered dramatically in the last two decades. These day, many difficulties has been faced by young generation, such as juvenile delinquency, occur from the fact that many married women now have a job in workplace and are not at home to care for their children. I personally agree with statement above because parental guidance is essential for children's development and financial support leads detrimental effect.

In this era, many teenagers need supervision from mother to learn the attitude and morality in order to distinguish between good and bad. Juvenile delinquency occurs because there is no controlling of parents. For instance, more than 17,000 case of violence which has been done by adolescent in Brazil, the average of younger who did the crime acts is triggered because their mother tend to spend a lot of time in work. As a result, a lot of children should be detained in the prison or rehabilitation which leaves their education. Undoubtedly, the parental guidance is important to form the sense of children's morality and attitude.

Furthermore, teenager's misbehavior is influenced because their mothers who have busy and hectic schedule in workplace tend to give a great deal of financial to support their children's activity without thinking risks. For instance, based on UNICEF, more than 4,550 reports about drugs are consumed by teenager in California. The increasing of drugs consumption is caused by financial support abused by children. It is impressive that giving lots of money to children leads a severe problem for children's improvement.

To sum up, it is evident that monitoring from parents is necessary to create the physical development and approach. So, the presence of parents and mother is needed by children. However, financial support that I mention brings a dire effect for children's personality. Parents should be give more attention for children.

Writing Feedback / It is better for children to begin learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary [NEW]

Some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. What is your opinion? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As it is commonly understood that foreign languages is essential for young generation to recognize diversity. Some people believe that it is better for toddlers to start to learn foreign language early when they entered elementary school than at secondary school. In my opinion, I would argue that this leads to more merits than demerits.

The first positive effect is that student is more expert to speak foreign language when they grow up. This is because they have enough time to observe and adapt with foreign language. According to United Nations data, more than 53,000 students who obtain the foreign language material in elementary school domineered and have more fluently rather than middle-level education. It is impressive that time can influence the way people learn by practicing international linguistic day-by-day.

In addition, it will stimulate the brain by practicing foreign language began with basic due to the fact that children is easily memorizing the word that they recognize early. For instance, according to research conducted by NewScientist, pupils can distinguish 150 words per day by memorizing in which the storage of brain can save some various words in early age. As a result, they have strong memory and have good-responsive to capture a variety of words. Undoubtedly, basic education in early level of school is a foundation to be easily to develop the expertise.

However, a negative side to this establishment is children have less concentration to accept the lecture. This is because they tend to spend their time to play rather that to learn. Most young generation in UK spend their leisure to play video online which affect the intensity of learning. It is different from student who learns foreign language in secondary school, and they tend to be focus on thinking critically to find another way to learn.

To sum up I believe that the advantages of learning foreign language in primary school outweigh the disadvantages. This trend should be encouraged so that country around the world can continue to run this system.

Writing Feedback / People attend college or university for many different reasons [2]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

In these days, education is essential to support better living. Some people attend college or university for many purposes. This essay will examine some reasons why society takes higher education for several aims.

Many people believe that higher education can assist community to earn revenue for better living due to gain well-paid job. This is because university provides skills for students and enhances the quality of expertise. For example, many multinational companies in Saudi Arabia hire plenty of bachelor degree for taking good position. More than 17,000 bachelor degrees are appropriate to fill vacant position in order to become professional. As a result, bachelor degrees take a big responsible and position in any company. Undoubtedly, many graduates are more considered to be accepted in corporation to raise the income to meet with basic needs rather than another.

Furthermore, the dominant factor why people involve themselves to attend the university is competitiveness. The competitiveness is influenced by the high cost of living which encourages people to get the best education to sustain the way of life. For instance, according to UNFPA data, more than 34,500 unemployment people in South Africa are affected by lacking of education in which many people are only obtaining the access of education in high school. As a result, a large number of groups tend to not to be ready to face the rivalry among them. It is impressive that, the competitiveness leads a large influence of taking-part in college in order to maintain the sustainable of quality of life.

To sum up, it is evident that well-paid occupation and competitiveness are the main factors why societies tend to attend university in order to get better living and preserve the sustainable of quality of life. Government should construct and repair the facility and system education in higher institution so that all of dwellers can access an appropriate education to support existence.

Writing Feedback / Governments make many rules to save people from harm [2]

Governments make many rules to protect people from danger, for example, by making people wear seat belts in cars or not allowing smoking in public buildings. However, many people believe that there are too many rules nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

As it is commonly understood that there are a great deal of regulation made by government such as wearing seat belts in cars and not giving a permit to smoke in public space. However, some society argues that there are too many rules today. I personally disagree with statement above because there are some reliable reasons why government regulates the rules for controlling humankind and environmental.

The dominant factor why government authorizes a lot of law is to control the crime action. This is because it will enhance the quality of citizen life. For example, New Zealand applies some regulation for monitoring the movement of activity in city. As a result, the crime rate there decreases year-by-year around 25.5%, and this country is well-known as the most safety state in the world. There is no doubt that the role of law is to improve the way of life

Furthermore, this regulation leads to a merit effect on environmental protection. This is because it will boost the spirit of people to be responsive about environmental issue. For instance, the regulation which is implemented by World Organization like United Nations affects more than 1,450 industries in Yokohama Japan constructing the wastewater treatment plant to diminish the effect on wastewater. It is impressive that the functional of regulation is not only to avoid the offensive action, but also to preserve the environment becoming better.

To sum up, it is evident that there are some factors why government makes numerous regulations in order to organize the quality of human life and environmental security. I personally agree that the functional of rules brings a lot of benefits for some aspects. I would recommend that government should apply the regulation wisely by considering the purposes.